You are here /wrestling

I Get Letters


I'll miss the old codger
Hey, it's our THREE WEEK ANNIVERSARY TODAY! I didn't make a graphic to celebrate this momentous milestone - perhaps next time.

Several people got on my case for failing to properly identify Vic Grimes and demanding I return my APW Fanclub membership card. Several other people who didn't know it was Vic suggested that it was, in fact, the Blue Meanie, which makes me wonder what kind of tag team Meanie and Grimes could make...

On to the letters!

Subject: Countdown to the Millennium

I'm surprised you didn't put down the exact time until the new millennium in you raw report.


Umm, sorry.

Subject: Konehead

He was backstage last nite-and unhurt after lying about his injuries, to avoid last week's tapings. He got immediate heat for being listed (w Rey, Psic, Juv) on last Fri's TJ show, 3 days after being arrested for spousal abuse. I believe most bail for felonys would prevent him from leaving the country-so he may have committed another felony. The he proposed another new group, "The Animals", w Rey, BA, and Eddie guerrero, joining him. He was laughed at by Nash. He wanted to runin to save Rey-and was told if he did, he'd be fired.
Vamp getting over is Chucky Ashenoff's worst nightmare.

Bob Barnett

Wait a minute - aren't you THE Bob Barnett?

Subject: Kiss at WCW Nitro

Hey CRZ-
Don't knwo if you heard this, but according to last month's Entertainment Weekly, Kiss is going to sponsor wrestlers- "The Kiss Army" The first guy is supposed to be some lame called the Demon, who sports Kiss face paint. Maybe he could feud with Sting over the right to wear goofy face paint. WCW gets lamer and lamer...why not AC/DC wrestlers? I can see "The Schoolboy" doing Angus sthick, ....

David Jacobs

While I'm aware of the KISS gimmick'd wrestler plans, I am stubborn in my belief that if I just ignore it long enough, it'll go away.

Subject: A few thoughts...

WCW should just claim that Flair was DDP's benefactor and be done with it, of course that would require brains, not to mention the ability to acknowledge history.

Sid "I am the Squirrel King!" Vicious is mad at Hogan and Sting but is allies with Nash and Savage despite the fact that He-Man Womanhater hates Nash, plus that little fact Squeege tried to kill The Great and Powerful OZ. But Kevin trusts him anyway. So my question is: who is the bigger moron, Nash or Sting?

I think WCW has a good thing going in David Flair. Whoever finally takes that belt will likely be an instant fan favorite. However WCW, knowing this would be a good thing and must be avoided, will give the belt to Scotty Steineroids while jobbing Booker T., Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Chris Benoit all on the same PPV, probably in an eightman tag against the Disciple, Eric Watts, Ernest Miller, and Al Greene.

Michael Stakely

Subject: (no subject)

Dear crz, please dont help out the front running little nine year olds who knew nothing about the april of 1996 incident which happend at my home MSG. I mean these are little grade school kids who think wwf is cool and wcw sucks and they are michael jordan 1990-1993 and 1995-1998 bulls fans front runners. I love reading your reports each week, put if a bunch of dumb fans can remember an incident from 3 fucking years ago dont tell them, and it is more than one fan. I bet you that 99 percent of the idiots that asked you that question where being potty trained in spring of 96. Keep up the good work but please dont answer questions to dumb people who should no better.


NY in the HOUSE

Tch, tch. Sharing the richness of history and tradition (from 1995 and 1996) makes today's wrestling fans BETTER fans!

Subject: Regarding KISS

Hey Chris,

You know, it really says something about your wrestling organization when you hire some over-the-hill rockers to try and boost ratings. Don't get me wrong -- I'm a KISS fan....when they're in their prime. Same as Hogan, Flair, Savage, Nash, etc. etc. etc.

That's why the following parody song speaks WONDERS about Kiss today, and half of WCW's roster. Feel free to include it in a future report (the Kiss Nitro?)

You can listen to it here if you have RealAudio:
"I Used To Rock And Roll All Night" by Bob Rivers, 
parody of "Rock And Roll All Night" by KISS

You loved us when the band was hot.
Now we're gonna give it one more shot,
We're gettin' old, we must be crazy!

We're puttin' on the makeup again;
It covers up a bunch of wrinkled skin!
You bring the bread, we'll make the gravy!

You keep on spendin', we'll keep on singin'...

I used to rock and roll all night
But now my hair's turnin' gray!
I have to get to bed by nine,
Rub on a tube of Ben-Gay!

I haven't picked up my guitar for a while,
Not since them hula-hoops went out of style!
It's been a while, I'm pretty rusty!

We'll give you everything we got!
Would you like to see my liver spots?
Can you drive us home if we get sleepy?

If the shirts keep on sellin', we'll keep on yellin'...

I used to rock and roll all night
But now my hair's turnin' gray!
I have to get to bed by nine,
Rub in a tube of Ben-Gay!
I wanna rock and roll all night
But I can't stay awake!
I'd love to rock and roll all night
But then my body would ache!
I try to rock and roll all night
If there's some dough to be made!
I wanna rock and roll all night...

Pat Savino

Subject: jesse ventura

By the way, Jesse's on CNN tonight. AGAIN!!!!!!

Damn, you'd think he was Triple H with all the appearances!

Robert Biggs

Is it just me or do you only have to see Jesse on one of these shows once to pretty much hear everything he's gotta say? I saw him on "Hardball," what, two days ago? And it was like a MSNBC/CNBC/CNN/Fox News appearance "greatest hits" interview.

Subject: Recaps

Your recaps are great! I just finished reading the most recent ones, and noticed that you said Savage was muted on Nitro and the Undertaker was muted on RAW. Well, I live over on the East Coast, and nither of those segments were muted at all. Savage said "bitch" and Undertaker did say "pussy." I don't know what that means for west-coast viewing. Perhaps there's a 10 second delay or something? Thanks again for the great recaps!

HT "Skywarp" Gold

More like a three hour delay - grumble

Subject: July 26th Nitro

I only caught the last 10 or so minutes of Raw and Nitro, due to a softball game. I am getting used to the fact that bookers will often insult our intelligence with crappy angles and even worse matches. But, what I couldn't endure was Jason Hervey's stupid delivery while announcing matches. He was talking as if the audience was a bunch of retarded individuals. Could that be due to the fact that WCW treats its audience as if it were indeed retarded? Just wondering.

Dustin Dutra

*WCW?* Naah.

Subject: it's the little things.

I've been enjoying the little bit o' extra effort the production crew at Titan has apparently been putting into their coverage of back stage extra curriculars as of late...particularly in the "why is the camera there" department. For example, rather than merely having a conveniently placed camera on hand to catch our hero Blackman run over Shamrock with his car, they made a point of having the camera be there to cover X-Pac's ambulance leaving the arena...and just *happening* to be in the right place at the right time to witness the Lethal Weapon's heinous act of brutality.

Again, later in the evening, the camera crew assingned to cover Cole's interview segmant with Taker and Show was able to catch Test ganking Mr. Gas in the back (Gas...not Ass.)

I especially like their recent use of the GTV "hidden camera" to catch behind the scenes events that it makes not sense for a camera crew to have access to. Much better to have the GTV camera spy on the heels as they plan their machinations than for them to openly discuss their evil intentions in a dressing room with a full camera crew present, trusting the equipment isn't on.


Subject: WCW

Quick question, I was just wondering if I was the only one who finds it hilarious whenever wrestlers refer to Kevin Nash as Big Sexy?


Maybe you WERE...but not NOW! ;-)

Subject: About Konnan's injury

Konnan didn't take the moonsault from Violent J, Rey did. and Shaggy 2 Dope was the guy who hit him with a stiff looking guillotine leg drop.


Ummmm....yeah. That's what I meant. ;-) By the way, he's Bald 2 Dope now, isn't he? (I stole that line from somebody - I admit it)

Subject: July 26

Did you catch the sign that that one guy said youd see a sign about you on July 26?


No, I DIDN'T!! What's up, Aaron? Were you just talking out your ass even after all that great press I gave you? Damn!

Actually, I completely forgot about that until I got this letter...

Come to think of it, I was promised a sign at Bash at the Beach and I didn't get THAT either. Man, I've got some lazy readers...which is just fine, by the way.

Subject: all those H's...

I'm a first time writer but a long time reader (well, for a little under a year or so... what is the average length of time that your readers have been with you??) Anyway, I just noticed a few things during your Nitro commentary that I had to point out. First, when you referred to the broadcast team as "the H's", I noticed something. Harlem Heat was out. Horace Hogan was out. Both commentators have names that start with H, and then there's even Hollywood Hulk Hogan running around leading the show, and I was wondering if this infatuation with the eighth letter of the alphabet has anything to do with the superhumongous push of HHH (which is uglier but shorter than writing out "Triple H" or his whole name...) in the WWF. Second, I find it interesting how you sit there criticizing WCW for teaming their two feuding big men (Nash and Sid) while the WWF has done the exact same thing in the form of Undertaker/Big Show. Granted, the WWF has laced a bit more of a story out of it in the form of they both don't like Kane, but who's to say that the bond uniting Sid and Nash is nothing more than a hatred for Hogan. (of course by that logic, we all should be united with Sid and Nash...) Anyway, good job with the writings, and thanks for that little history at the beginnin of the Raw recap. I had planned on watching my tape of Raw this evening (since I was out last night) but some moron in my house reprogrammed the vcr so I missed it. You are a lifesaver. And that doesn't count how I ususally rely on you during the school year (my campus doesn't have cable and I can't always get someone to tape Raw for me.) Thank you very much.


You signed it "Humbly!" CONSPIRACY! H! H! H!

Subject: Shamrock forgot which arm he hurt

I can't believe you did not pick up on the fact that Shamrock was grabbing the wrong arm when they cut to him the first time. When he hit the ground in the clip he grabbed his left arm and when they came to him live he was grabbing the right.

I figured you would jump all over that.


Again, sorry.

Subject: More info on Clique

Hi. I thought you'd like to know another tidbit on this 'doghouse' subject. I live in Canada, where we are treated to wrestler appearences on "Off the Record" from time to time,all of which I archive on tape. Steve Austin appeared on the show in early 1998 and on the subject of him getting his push he said, "I got my shot at King of the Ring because somebody else screwed up."

He didn't mention who it was, but buzz on the internet in the days following the interview suggested that it was Helmsley. As time went by, most people forgot this information as the clique incident wasn't really as much of an issue as it is now.

Jim McLaren

Subject: Ross's getting bleeped on 7/26/99


I'm a big fan of your wrap-ups. Your attention to detail is exquisite.

I think that Ross, if you can believe this, said something about "his nipples being hard" after the Austin segment in order to rile up the censor. Seems a little mild compared to some of the other stuff said (In Rock's interview, he segued from Bad Ass to Chyna by saying "Speaking of lips,") but perhaps the censor considered the source to be a bit much before ten.


"Ross" and "nipples" don't belong in the same sentence. Rock's blowjob stuff was pretty funny and quite radar-slip-under-worthy, too.

Subject: Recaps

David Flair, on behalf of all pasty white guys everywhere put a damn shirt on!! I'm a pasty white guy, and I know better than to offend my neighbors by not wearing a shirt. Flair has to be offending the two dozen or so people who still watch Nitro.

HHH was so annoying last night, and apparently I'm the only one who thinks this, that I actually found myself switching over to the Nitro main event, where the guest announcer was so bad I found myself switching to...women's basketball. HHH to me has Ken Shamrock syndrome (where he can't improvise so he simply repeats his lines over again.) Like Shamrock, his voice lacks bass, odd for a guy as large as him. No? I realise this is necessary to him getting over as a heel, but last night to me seemed like overkill. He's not guest announce material, to me anyway.

Fan #8547

Subject: WCW

You should consider getting a job doing obituaries for your local paper. The "reports" you do on Nitro could easily qualify. Some of us watch wrestling for the sheer enjoyment of it....why don't you try that?

Dick C

Are you suggesting I don't ENJOY Nitro?

Subject: Monday's Moonpies

A tidbit just before Regal/Whipwreck. A fan stormed the ring and got NAILED by Regal before the security dudes could haul him away. The camera showing this was the one far away so you could barely see it. Just after, a camera closer up showed Regal and the-other-british-guy-whose-name-I-forget laughing and smiling - apparently about that.

Arthur Kimes

Subject: TSN Raw is War

Hi Christopher,

Just wanted to let you know that in Canada, TSN has pre-empted RAW is War for three straight weeks and will also do so next week. Oh sure you can watch it at midnight or 4 in the afternoon when you are working, but what is up with a channel that so boldy stated last year that they had the exclusive rights to show this program in prime time? In the past 8 months, it has perhaps been pre-empted more than 50 percent of the time. I just don't know why they don't realize that it is very popular in Canada and should not take a back seat to any type of programs. Visit the TSN site at and let them know what you think about their objectionable decision.

Peter G.

Subject: w.c.w

i admit this past nitro did suck big time,but in all cost the wwf hasnt steped up to the plate their selves. how many weeks do people have to see al snow ,the so called hoe train pimp, the undertaker is played out the GIANT big show is not being used to his full potential,stunning austin is a market piece but who cares any one can be a rebel and drink coors light and shoot the finger all night whats that about. both organazations need to take a step back and really get back to hardcore wrestling .the days of cacktus jack and abdula the butcha are very well missed by true fans.i truly love wrestling but to be honest as i switch back from tnt to usa on mondays nothing from both sides gets me hype anymore are the wcw and wwf loosing there creative thoughts? i think so.peace out


Subject: Announcers

Hey CRZ,
I noticed this reading your reports. Both federations announcers had a Triple H at the announce table sometime in the night. Everyone saw HHH during Raw's main event, knocking J.R.'s own slobber, but the team of Hudson, Heenan, and Hervey (Ugh, god no) make a Triple H of WCW's own. Screwed up huh?

Matt Plunk

Subject: A List

Here is a list of people in the wrestling business that I seriously think are on crack or some other illegal narcotic:

  • Randy Savage {What the FUCK is he talking about?}
  • the people who book Chris Benoit's matches
  • the WCW booking comittee {does such a thing exist?} in general
  • Jerry Lawler, because his voice is higher than mine and I'm female
  • Mideon
  • Larry Zybysko {for obvious reasons}
  • Rena Mero {Who?}
  • Shane McMahon {Ok, maybe just speed or a hell of a lot of caffeine}
  • the people at WCW who let Chris Jericho, Steve Austin, HHH, Paul Wight and Debra go North
  • Mark Madden {he's just warped man....}
  • those super-pyschic sound guys who just *know* when every wrestler will just happen to run down to the ring.
Just thought you'd be interested. Thanks for reading. I hope I won't get sued over this.


I can see it now - "Go server a summons on that Linz-dogg!!"

Subject: chase tatum = honky shaq

for real. just in the face. check it out.


Subject: fully loaded 99 Hello, I live in Australia. I am desperately seeking a copy of Fully Loaded 99, I need it to be in PAL format. Could you please help me out.

Tracy Shaw

I can't - but maybe YOU can...?


Christopher Robin Zimmerman
[slash] wrestling


Last week's Mail

Copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications