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I Get Letters

18.8.99

Main
I am the Master - and the ruler - of the MADE UP RECORD...
Thanks to: Jim Gramze
Subject: damn i'm funny

Steve McMichael: hire me

WWF: no

Steve McMichael: please?

WWF: no

Steve McMichael: I'll be your friend?

WWF: no

Steve McMichael: I'll mail you a cookie?

WWF: no

Steve McMichael: *sniff* Nobody likes me

___________________

X-Pac: KANE! has ONE MUMBLED WORD FOR YAH!

Kane: suuuuckiiiiiittttt

Road Dogg: hey X-Pac *whisper*whisper*whisper*

X-Pac: tee hee... hey Kane, what do you do to a lolly?

Kane: suuuuckiiiiiittttt

X-Pac: hee hee... hey Kane, where do you plug in your TV?

Kane: suuuuckiiiiiiittttt

X-Pac: hey Kane, finish this sentence: "do you smell what the Rock is......."

Kane: suuuuckiiiiiiittttt

Road Dogg: hahaha, this is fun!

___________

Steve Blackman: I'm gonna get you Shamrock!

Terry Taylor: but I'm not Shamrock, I'm Terry Tay...

Steve Blackman: shut up Shamrock! I'm gonna break you in two!

Terry Taylor: but I'm not him, I'm the Red...

Steve Blackman: quit talking crazy, Shamrock! this is gonna end one way or another!

Terry Taylor: I keep telling you Im not Ken...

Steve Blackman: SHAMROCK!! BLOUAH!!!

Terry Taylor: COCK A DOODLE DOOOOO!!!!!

_______________

Mankind: paper

Dude Love: scissors cut paper

Cactus Jack: rock breaks scissors, get in the ring fatass you lose

Dude: hey! shut up!

______________

Hulk Hogan: I'm back brother!!! whatcha gonna do, when the largest ego in the world, refuses to job to you!

Randy Savage: nothing probably.. I'll just let you beat me.... again... after all, you're my best friend

Hulk Hogan: thats right brother...

_____________

Sid: hey Sting, thanks for jobbing to me the other night

Sting: what?

Sid: thanks for jobbing to me, much appreciated

Sting: I did WHAT?????

*beep*beep*boop*boop*beep*beep*boop*

Sting: hello, Vince? THIS...... is Sting

Morgan Green

Hey Morgan, make it LONGER next time, wouldja? Thanks, that's a pal.



Subject: Austin on Conan O'Brien in the UK and Europe

Thanks for printing my latest article, but what I'd like to ask is that you let all of your fans in the United Kingdom and accross Europe know that they can contact CNBC Europe at this address: programming@CNBCEurope.com to attempt to persuade them to select "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's forthcoming appearance on the show as one of the THREE episodes they air over here on a Saturday and Sunday night.

In June, I e-mailed them [with some success, or maybe it was a huge coincidence!!!] asking if they would broadcast Vince's pre KOTR appearance on the show, which goes to show that a little "people power" is always worth a shot. [Just look at the number of networks that have opted to take ECW programming throughout N America due to fan pressure]

If you could pass this message on, I would greatly appreciate it, so that I may sit down in front of the TV on Sunday night and get my pre-Summerslam appetite whetted via Conan, seeing as how myself, Bill Gillon and the rest of the UK fans shall not be joining you for the [last-ever?] live, pre-PPV episode of HeAt....

Cheers,
Richard Craig



Subject: An answer to your question and HEAT/RAW after the fact

CRZ,

You wondered why WCW shows always get recapped but SHOTGUN and SUPER ASTROS are just sitting there waiting?

Well, personally, I can think of two reasons:

1) I'm either asleep or out during SHOTGUN

2) You saw my review of the HEAT/RAW tapings. I had no idea what Edge's finishing move was -- a "flying leg... something." I couldn't begin to describe all of the luchadore moves. ;-)

Incidentally, while I haven't watched all the tape of both HEAT and RAW from the past two days, I must say that being there in person and watching it are quite different -- and I'm not just talking about having close-ups and different camera angles.

The two biggest things I can think of are this:

1) Backstage interviews. We saw NOTHING backstage at the tapings. No interviews (although if they would have been shown, chances are we would not have heard them anyway). No "Here's Austing walking" or "Here's HHH lacing up his boots" shots. Which means that all the crowd noise you heard during those segments was dubbed in... probably just from earlier/later pops/boos from the night.

2) Crowd noise. It's amazing -- Mankind's "Testicul -- ovariological fortitude" line got huge laughs... but it didn't sound like that on TV. There were other times when pops that were loud in person weren't on TV. It's amazing how the microphones don't catch some things... or perhaps more audio workmanship from WWF production.

Phil Zeman

I haven't heard from Slade since WrestleMorons decided to shut down - too bad, 'cause his SuperAstros reports kicked ass, I thought. Anybody want to pick 'em up? You only have to commit to a few weeks since it's not being renewed. ;-)



Subject: Wow, WCW was harsh

Hey there! Man, that was a load of garbage from WCW this monday. Like a train wreck, you couldn't stop it and you couldn't look away. Better watch out, they'll have Sid come out and wreck every match between here and Starrcade just to call them "victories" so he can be 1,542,637 - 0. What bull.

Forget Lenny & Lodi, they're just covering for Tony Skee-vone. Maybe he's their brother as well *wink, wink*. I wonder if they would then be related to TAKA and his *sister*?

Keep up the good reports! We need you to keep this frickin' stuff interesting!

Paul Gilbert, Jr.



Subject: Crash Holly

Hey Chris,

It's APW's "Leprechaun" Erin O' Grady.

Tole

Curses! Foiled AGAIN by my local indy!



Subject: I found where Hyatte has been hiding!!!!

Chris, I'm a long time fan for you columns. I read in one of them that you were annoyed that "Hyatte has disappeared" well I have found out why. I found the letter below on the www.geneross.com in the August 17th column. The site if for porn gossip. and when you read, the letter below I think will finally explain why Hyatte's column has been sproatic to say the least.

    Chris Hyatte writes: "Dear Mr. Ross, My name is Chris Hyatte. I write an Online column for a pro wrestling site..the column is mighty popular, but that's besides the point.

    Look, I love my porn....just as any red blooded American hetero should.....but lately, I've been seeing (on Spice, thanks to my nifty black box) and reading about a lot of new faces on the porn scene....faces I've never heard of..and I can't help but wonder..what happened to my favorites? Okay, Jenna went to get her face redone....and is busy having a meltdown the likes of which haven't been seen since Savanna....Chasey Lane had a kid and seems to be adhereing to Janine's rule of "No Guys Allowed" from here on out. Asia Carrera would rather hang out with her computer and Jill Kelly keeps grinding them out by the truckload...cool.

    But..and this is why your wasting your time reading this....my all time favorite porn starlet seems to have vanished off the face of the planet....this is where you can help me....

    WHERE IS KAITLEN ASHLEY????

    Did she retire? Why? Did she get AIDS? What happened? I have GOT to know...please Mr. Ross...help me out.

    Gene sez: "Dear Chris, one porn star at a time. I'm still trying to hunt down leads to Montana Gunn. Then we'll talk about Ms. Ashley."
Sincerely,
Robert Huffman

I asked Hyatte to confirm or deny authorship - he wrote me back:

No, no, NO!!  There is ANOTHER porn loving wrestling
afficianado named Chris Hyatte

No?  Well then yes..it was me. You just can't trust those
porn reporters anymore....fuck.
I enjoy Stacy Valentine myself - well, about six breast enhancements ago anyway. I'm just shocked Hyatte didn't say "f" like he has to do on SCOOPS! I'm also a little worried that somebody might try to turn Hyatte in after he admitted he's STEALING CABLE!



Subject: does anybody care

Does anybody care (in wcw) that in Sids "undefeated" streak, that he has lost at house shows and that when someone does a run in and stops the count you are disqualifed and therefore you lose?

Carlton Marshall

We're talking about WCW. Do YOU think anybody cares?



Subject: beavercutter

I wonder when WCW is going to figure out what DDP's litle upside down DiamondCutter symbol means. Probably about the same time they figure out what Konnan's 187 and tossed salad mean. Jeez.

Adam "They call me Dragon" Queler

Whaat? Can you splain it to me?



Subject: raw line of the night

just becaus eI have time on my hands... The Raw line of the night has to go to the King after the shot of Cole waiting at Mankind's door. "We really need to teach Michael Cole how to knock."

Well I thought it was funny.

Todd Kogutt



Subject: (no subject)

You know damn well that Crash Holly, is Erin O'Grady from APW. Yer from the Bay Area!

Conspire13

Hey, I might shill APW on occasion, but I STILL have never attended a show. I leave that to Meltzer.



Subject: Yo

They clip Hogan's music so I can't make fun of Hernia Guy singing "He's Ame-e-e-er-i-can Ma-a-ade!"

I always thought it was "He's Mac-M-a-h-o-n Ma-a-ade!"

David



Subject: Ugh

You know, I feel your pain. I feel the agony you suffer through everyweek having to review Nitro. You poor, poor bastard. Sportsline should at least give you some stock options for the time you sacrifice for us, the loyal readers.

Aaron Kuhn

A capital idea! Get it? Get it?



Subject: Nitro & RAW

Man, you were pissed this week! (I read Nitro second)

Funniest moment of the week was during X-Pac's entrance. As is the norm for lotsa guys now, he generally takes a mouthful of whatever tasty beverage he's holding and sprays it into the air. This week, though, he takes a mouthful of Hansen's, looks down at the can with a "what is this crap?" expression, then fails to spray it very far as apparently his only motivation has become to get it out of his mouth as fast as possible!

I also read Madden's "three things wrong with WCW" article. Well, I suppose he probably shouldn't include the obvious - his boss totally marking out for himself constantly and letting the business go to hell.

Just my opinions.

Matt



Subject: Nitro Recap

Your deadon about WCW.

I would like you to add more commentray like this to the Raw report. It gets a little stale with the monotone just the facts system. Also, toss in some praise when either show does something good. Although you are funnier when your ranting :)

Dave

Hmmmm....



Hey CRZ, I love the new web site. I think wrestline sucks in general.I only check out the wrestlemaniacs section because that were the only good shit is on the site. It saddens me that You gotta keep your recaps clean and in good taste. Like its good taste to have that fat assed WCW lovin crack whore Mark Madden tell how great that uncle Eric and his ass kissers are. I also am sick of WWF showing everybody walking all over backstage doing nothing but walking,who gives a fuck if they walk.They get paid to wrestle/entertain. I like how You point this out every week. Well I gotta get back to work now.I just wanted to say thank you for helping me keep up with wrestling and making Tuesday afternoons a bit better.

Bill Lehman



Subject: Al Snow's New Object

I know I'm not supposed to notice things like this, but isn't Pepper the same dog that Mongo used to come out with when he was announcing over in WCW before he joined the Horsemen? Doesn't that make Pepe (Pepper, whatever) pretty damn old??

Wayne Starron, Chile Scientist

Many Chihuahua's look alike. :) Besides, we first saw Pepper in 1995, so he wouldn't be THAT old even if he was the same dog...



Subject: Nitro

Your view of Nitro is dead on. Sometimes I can barely contain myself from laughing through the entire first hour. Seriously though, you missed the funniest section of the show. They took a short break between matches and showed Tony and Bobby talking and the guy directly behind Scivani had a RAW IS WAR sign. It was great.

Matthew Hocking



Subject: Response To Your Raw Report

I watch Walker. Love your reports. Nuff Said.

John R. Hohman



Subject: Nitro

yep my thoughts exactly why do they have the other raw and nitro recappers when they have you. i just don't fucking get it i mean you do a great job and the other people just kind of mosey through their damn spiel it's fucking ridiculous and who get's more promotion of wrestleline?? they do. i don't understand it they suck

Pepe3069

They fear me leaving them with no notice. Now am I the kind of person that would do THAT?!?



Subject: WCW Nitro

I don't care what your critics say, you are by far the best recapper out there and your recap of Nitro on 8/16 was some of your greatest work, you gave it to us straight. WCW sucked it up big time last night and that's what you wrote. Keep up the good work.

Aaron Gonzalez
Sacramento



Subject: "Crash Holly" and "Key"

Just to let you know.....Crash Holly is actually "Leprechaun" Erin O'Grady and "Key" (white guy in suit) is "Vicious" Vic Grimes. They are both from All Pro Wrestling, a promotion in California. The two are very skilled and very innovative. I'm sure these two will climb the ladder very quickly.

Go to www.allprowrestling.com for further info.

E R

What's this APW? Everybody's talking about it!



Subject: News Flash: Biggest UK PPV ever announced!!!!

As you are probably aware, Jim Ross has revealed in his latest "Ross Report" that on May 6, 2000, the World Wrestling Federation shall be performing LIVE on pay-per-view via Sky Box Office, emanating from the monolithic structure that is Earl's Court in London.

There is no word yet as to when tickets will be on sale, but I should imagine it would be sometime before the end of the year.

I have never been to the facility, therefore am really excited as to how the WWF will configure the arena for what is essentially the closest thing to a "dome" show that the WWF could promote in the United Kingdom.

Richard Craig

BTW CNBC today have stated via their teletext service that they [at least for the time being] have NO plans to air Austin's episode to Conan, choosing to air the Mon-Weds episodes instead. Bastards.

P.S. I read on some [British?] newsboard entitled "TKO Wrestling" that there were weak rumours that there was to be a WWF "channel" introduced over Sky Digital, whereby Raw, Shotgun, Superstars, SMACKDOWN, Heat and Livewire would air, and that UK fans would soon have to pay for ALL Pay-per-Views. Personally, I hope that this is a crock of shit dreamt up by some "fanboy with a keyboard" [it escapes me whom coined this phrase...] as the closest model would be the digital service in Germany, DF1, where they intro'd LIVE coverage of all WCW PPVs, yanking the delayed coverage off of free-to-air analogue satellite, forcing fans to "go digital". Although I would immediately front with the cash to do so, I reckon it would be a bad move for the WWF and Sky, as it would send the UK ratings, which are on an upward curve, back to minute amounts.

If you have heard anything to confirm/deny the truth of these rumours, please let me know...

I haven't. Anybody else?



Subject: a request

I watch Raw every week and don't really give a shit about the happenings on Nitro. Don't take offense to this your a great writer, but I only read your reports for your bitching at the beginning, and lately you haven't been doing that! Please bitch more, report less.

DAVE

Ummm...I'll think about it.



Subject: comments

WrestleLine is gay for cutting out your fakeout on Nitro. It was funny when it was on Wrestlemaniacs because people fell for it like idiots, but WrestleLine wouldn't let you amuse yourself with the marks. And did you notice that they have a different raw recapper on the main page? I'm sure you did but I find it curious.

I'm proud of the fact that I was at the Raw that featured the "10 second confrontation" for a main event, taped in Des Moines :)

I had something else to say, but I forgot it. Oh well :P

Fett9025



Subject: Hi!

Hi Chris! My name is John and I have only been reading you for the past month or so. I gotta be honest and say that Hyatte's constant mentions (and might I add, you might be the only other recapper he doesn't hammer) led me first to Micasa, then Wrestline, and now CRZ.net/wrestling. You have a great site. Example: trying to find Hyatte on the new Scoops site is almost impossible. Additionally, everything is on one page. I print a lot of the reports to read on the train, and this makes my life so much easier!

Now, I have one quick question for ya. I was reading your "One Year Ago" collumn last week and I noticed you referred to Schiovane as "OPA." I live in Astoria, NY, a huge Greek community, and there is actually a restaurant here called "OPA - Tony's Souvlaki" I dont know if this had anything to do with where you got the OPA from, but it's really been killing me. Let me know and keep up the great work with your site and recaps!

Thanks,
John da Greek

Nope, it's just something I heard a Spanish announcer exclaim once. I may be spelling it wrong. ;-)



Subject: Crash Holly

Erin O'Grady from APW in Hayward. Saw him last October at Halloween Hell 2. Not only that, he grabbed my chair and used it on that Vic Grimes dude.

Anyway, from a bigtime WCW mark, NITRO SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MdntRdr1

Erin O'Grady, right? I was thinking Vic Grimes....seriously, thanks to everyone for helping me out with the APW ident.



Subject: Double Standard?

Just a quick note I wanted to ask you about. Why is it that you bashed the actions of Sid Vicious during the last Nitro but you never took the time to lay into either Kane or the Undertaker during any of their "dominate the night" events where they come out and ruin every match. It seems like a bit of a double standard to me. Is there one or are you just sick of World Championship Wrestling and any attempt they make at furthering their storylines.

Human Highlight Reel

I don't know, when I come out and say "I don't like it when Kane does it either. Or the Undertaker," I mean, is there something MORE I could have said?



Subject: The Rock's promo

You're doing a great job, as always. But what's up with verbatim Undertaker and no Rock. Maybe The Rock's promos should get their own link.

David Sacks

Maybe YOU'D like to transcribe them for me, too?



Subject: (no subject)

Just wondering where Scott Hall is.

Also, what's up with the Nash retirement thing?

PapaChonge

Hall might come back around the same time Nash does...



Subject: Re: Nitro report "Bravo"!!

Excellent report once again!! All I have to say to you is keep it straight like that and as always!! You kick ass! Thanks for the great reading!!

Atlas7



Subject: Thanks for saving me the agony

I used to be a fan of wcw and watch three hours every monday. I now enjoy it more by just reading your article. That show is awful, and thanks to you, it has freed up my Mondays for other things. I do look forward to reading you every tue, In closing, please let me know if there is any other site that you write for. thanks.

Joseph Sommers



Subject: okay....so your not an optimist

well it was evident from your nitro report your not the optimistic type. what's sad is I AM but i agreed w/ everything you said. the first hour was SHIT and the last match was BULLSHIT....which is about 1 step up from the regular SHIT. I will say however that the "filler" matches were DAMN GOOD...but that's just me. i wasn't as impressed by raw as most people on-line seemed to be. the matches were short like usual, i'm no purist but 3 min matces piss the hell out of me. and the #1 contender matches were too damn redundent! come main event time i didn't give a damn who was the #1 contender....it's the end of the raw right before one of the biggest ppv's the wwf has and it isn't until the Very end that we find out what the main event will be. there's good hype for ya!(note extreme sarcasm) also the card in general doesn't impress me. the women's match will Suck...the any match w/ x-puke and bossman will suck. jeff jarret is annoying. blackman/shamrock and BA/rock will be the best matches. a 6 tag team match.....w/ all teams being jobbers but 2 of them, will suck. the main event could be good too, only if Austin is the one to lose his title and mankind doesn't lose it for him.

....why and i writing you all of this? Well you see i have no life, as i'm sure you know, but i get a kick out of sharing my opinions w/ various "reporters/columnist" for no reason what so ever.

if you have an "life" to give please send it to.....

World Championship Wrestling
attn: Eric Bischoff
1 CNN Center
Atlanta, GA
i currently have my head up Eric Bishoff's ASS so i'll be sure to get when he does!

thanks for reading - I'm done
Joe "RaZoR" Koch



Subject: Response to letter calling your recaps repetitive

CRZ

I read your nitro column, and some guy emailed you saying that your column was repetitive. Well, You are a recapper, and if you are recapping things that are repetitive, what choice do you have? You can't really change what happened in your recap, then you'd just be making stuff up.

People should think before they type.

SPiTE

THINK BEFORE THEY TYPE!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You're killing me! Hahahahahahaha! Whew........ha ha ha. Ha.



Subject: card list

you know, i get the distinct feeling that you are not on the wcw xmas card list, keep up the good work!

David E. "The Big Bopper" Everard

Really now, what would make you think THAT? :)



Subject: Raw and Nitro Reports

I imagine you're much too busy receiving tons of emails to reply to this, but I did want to make an observation that, if you feel so inclined, you could reply to. I've been reading your reports for quite some time now, and enjoyed them as well, but I must complain about wrestleline or whatever the hell it's called and their censorship of your material. First it was you couldn't use the word "fuck", and now I've noticed you're having words like "shit" edited to "sh*t".

And I, for one, think that's a bunch of bullshit.

Censorship is wrong, and tell the pricks at wrestleline to quit changing your material.

Thanks.
Keep up the good work.

Marc

Yeah, I noticed that too. The noose tightens... I suggest either reading them here or getting pissy with ringmaster@wrestleline.com. Perhaps they thought you wouldn't notice?



Let me get this right....Brain Adams is going to be with Kiss next week?....This is what passes for wrestling in WCW?....No wonder Raw spankz them by three points every week....Sheesh!!

Leon Dixon

I can't BELIEVE you're not COUNTING THE SECONDS until next week's Nitro so you can see that!!



Yeah, yeah, Nitro's crap and waah waaah waah and all that. But Sid's kind of funny, in a way.

God Bless You
SunnyD

I agree. In a way.



Subject: Raw Report

You get letters. Plenty of them, so I'll leave this short.

This week's rectal object du jour is a Calamine bottle filled with monkey piss.

You know..I found that hilarious...but now that I've cut it out and pasted it here all by itself...Well, dammit, it's still funny.

Good stuff, I look forward to these columns as much as I do RAW itself.

Mike



Subject: newbie

O.K. help me out here, please. I used to watch regional (Knoxville, Chattanooga) wrestling back in the 70's but then got away from it. Then a while back I checked out WWF to see what all the talk was about. Wow, I was blown away by the athleticism and especially by how the big men could move. But the suck-it and puppies and etc. were a little too much and not enough wrestling so I tried WCW. It seemed more up my alley. My two favorites are Sting and Kevin Nash. So I guess you see where this is headed. I can't believe the powers that be at WCW would trade the future of wrestling (Nash) for an old man who can't even run down to the ring (Nitro, 8-16-99). And lest you think this is another kid who doesn't remember Hogan's glory days I am in my 40's. So here is my question, is Nash coming back to WCW? Soon? or should I just go on back to WWF and hope for the best? Oh, by the way I do think Jerry Lawler is hilarious!! I just found WrestleLine and really liked your columns. Thanks in advance

G-man.

Hey Gary, exactly how old do you think NASH is? He isn't exactly running out there, either...I'm just saying is all...



Subject: WrestleLine Editors deserve a FLAMING OIL ENEMA!

Man, Chris, I can't believe they managed to screw up your "Thank You - Good Night" gag in the Nitro report! I busted a gut when Hyatte did it - from now on, I pledge to only read the report on [Slash] - yes, that's [Slash] which can be found at http://www.CRZ.net/wrestling/ - [Slash] ladies and gentlemen; ask for it by name!

Help me, please!
Mike

When did Hyatte do it? Did I fall asleep again?



Subject: Sid's "winning" streak

Hey,

I'm sure you've heard this a few times already, but according to a house show report from DDT digest Booker T PINNED Sid at a house show recently. Good way to build up a winning streak, eh?

Brien

Like anybody at WCW cares? Hahahahahahaha...



Subject: Why no Undertaker/Big Show v. Godfather/Venis?

Did you happen to notice that the WWF left out the Undertaker/Big Show vs. Godfather/Venis match from it's Monday broadcast? According to the spoilers (real ones) this match ended in a quick squash, with Taker & Show easily winning. I wonder why? I was looking forward to Venis getting his ass kicked.

Vince Giglotti

Well, they were nine minutes over as it was, I think they just ran out of time to include everything...



Subject: You get letters

CRZ,

Chris Jericho has got to be the most overrated joker I have ever seen in wrestling. Did you see the way he got dwarfed by the Rock, and then by the Undertaker and the Gia.., er Big Show? He can't play with the big boys! What a bust he is going to be!
Signed,

Eric Bischoff
(aka Joseph Gentile)



Subject: Another post of praise from a fan (that should get you to read this right?)

Man you do have a tough job. I think I still might like WCW more than WWF only because I'm at work on Monday night and don't have cable.

After reading a few of the front page headlines of Monday night's events, I really didn't care enough to read your reviews this week. However, I saw the comment that went with WCW's article and said was it really that bad? Had to read to find out for myself.

Well I haven't actually read this week's review yet, so I'll end this and get to it.

Lou

DON'T MISS A MINUTE!!



Subject: What are you going to make up next?

Nitro must be getting a little better. Because now you are making things up to bitch about. If you don't want to watch the Hogan show then turn it to the Stoned Drunk Cold show.

You used to complain about Beniot not having a belt. No he does and you still seem to be pissed about something or another. The DDP/Kidman match was not mentioned in the beginning of the show so get your head out of your ass and stop making up shit to make WCW look bad. That is all you do. You report who won each match but the rest is just crap you made up. Stupid jokes like "Blind" Charles Robinson. If you woke and stop sucking on WWF's nuts you would see that everything you complain about in WCW the WWF does, except WWF takes it to the extreme.

The point to my rambling is that you suck and you don't have any good jokes so stop trying.

If wrestling had more real fans instead of "people who watch it because it is cool" then WCW would be crushing WWF in the ratings and everyone knows it whether they admit it or not.

babcockp

Any "real fans" want to write the Nitro report for me?



Subject: Hogan Rules!

I forgot to mention this in my last letter.

Beniot is God to you right? Well you said it before. Well it looks like your God pulled the lowest ratings for WCW monday. Oh! The man you hate (jealous of) You Know Who. You must be fucking blind bescause he pulled the highest ratings by far in the WCW monday, destroyin Beniot and Hogan had to go up against WWF's main event.

Just thought you would like to know that you are a no good piece of shit that doesn't know his wrestling from his asshole. But far be it from me to point that out.

Hogan Rules! Beniot is good but nothing compared to what Hogan is and always has been.

WWF sucks.

babcockp

Thank God I get TWO letters from some folks! One just isn't enough to convey the...ah the hell with it. I'm pretty sure I'm being confused with someone else, as I hold Benoit in somewhat less than Godlike esteem. Although I DO prefer him to Hogan. VASTLY.



Subject: Sid won't job...

Well, Nitro was all right. I'm getting kind of sick of Berlyn crap, though. The thing that's irking me is the main event. While it wasn't (thank god) another bullshit DQ run-in like every other Nitro since 1992, it is ridiculous that Hogan couldn't just beat Sid cleanly. Yeah, I know they're trying to build up a win streak like Goldberg and all that, but seriously, Sid? Yeah, he's the biggest freakin' star ever to stab another wrestler, oops, I mean ever to step in a wrestling ring.

Everyone in WCW should take a lesson from Sting. At Road Wild, he went down cleanly to Sid, because he knew that it was to build up the feud between Eudy and the Hammerin' Hebrew.

That in itself is a joke, because we all know that WCW's feuds all last exactly one month. Buff-Ernest Miller, Savage-Rodman, Savage-Nash, etc. They all fight and talk smack for 3 weeks on Nitro, then they have crappy matches at the PPV, then everyone forgets all about it. I seem to recall Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant going back and forth for at least 2 years. Rick Rude and the Ultimate Warrior? They must have fought 20 or 30 times. Flair and Sting have been going at it almost 20 years now! But no, while WWF sets up SCSA, Vince, Rock, etc. for long involved feuds, WCW chooses two random wrestlers (or basketball stars), makes them hate each other, then they fight at Souled Out, and that's that.

Man does Bischoff suck. You might want to look at Warrior's website for a minute. As incoherent as it is, his commentary is probably true as far as what he says about WCW, and Bischoff in particular.

Oh yeah, did you notice that Mike Enos came out to the music from "The Tonight Show"? Huh? Oh, are they going to set him up for a feud with Ed Hall, the announcer for Leno? Wow, that would be awesome!!

Talk to you later from a-hunnad-an-tenf-street,
Jonathan



Subject: lol

referee "Blind" Charles Robinson (who was "reset buttoned" Saturday)

har har!

Rick Silver



Subject: pas deux.....

We get to see the return of the bodydonnas, without sunny. WTF. crash was the guy who wrestled as the leprechaun in wcw. They certainlly are pushing HHH to the moon aren't they? Can't wait for the reformation of the BWO baby with stevie and meanie.

Gotta give ICP props though. They take more bumps than most of the rest of WCW's roster. But still no clown luv

All that trash was the highlight of the show for me.

John King



Subject: Alternatives to WALKING!!!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're WALKING! If you're sick of me saying it, maybe you could ask the WWF to find some new shots to use!

There must be plenty of other things the crew does backstage. Well, let's try some out--

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're RELAXING!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're SMOKING!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're THINKING!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're REHEARSING!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're WAITING!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're WACTHING NITRO! (well...SOMEBODY still watches)

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're EATING!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're GETTING DRESSED/UNDRESSED! (make a mental picture of that, why don't you)

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're SCRATCHING THEMSELVES!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're SCRATCHING EACH OTHER!

Hey! Big Show and Undertaker - and they're TAKING A DUMP IN SABLE'S GYM BAG!!

I think I'd stick with walking, thank you.

Barry Elkayem

Well, when you put it THAT way...



Subject: your site

It may have great contents but I have never ever seen a site so ugly.

Reshad Ingar

Wow, you French guys are CRITICAL!



Subject: interesting tidbit

Hey, i was on Videogames.com's WWF Trivia challenge, and look at one of the choices for X-Pac's real name:

C) Robert Zimmerman

C. Robert Zimmerman. Sounds familiar. I thought it was Robin, but didn't you used to put it as Robert? I just thought you'd be interested.

Tim Burke

More likely that's Bob Dylan, since choice A (Gordon Sumner) is another musical chap - I leave it to you to figure out who HE is. ;-)



SEE YA!

Christopher Robin Zimmerman
[slash] wrestling

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