I Get Letters
Thanks to: Jim Gramze
Hey! My TWO MONTH anniversary! In celebration - just letters! Yup! One more HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
Subject: Boohoo Hitman
Hey there chris,
I've been reading the Hitman Column that Bret Hart has been writing for the Calagry Sun. Man I've gotta say that for many years I've been a Bret Hart mark, when he left the WWF, every time he was a heel, he was still my favorite. But I have to say now, Bret Shut up and stop fucking whining. Owens death was a tragedy, but man either get back on the horse or hang up your boots. Every time I read or hear something that he writes he always says how he wants to leave wrestling, or how he feels like he's in jail and can't get out. So you know that when he goes and out and performs that he is miserable, makes me wanna watch. Anyway just wanted to bitch take care :)
Hello this is my first time writing to you.I love wrestling alot and pretty much know everything. I hate wcw and i love wwf. There is one reason why i watch wcw and its because of hogan. I've been his fan since i was 5, and i believe in supporting whomever you like no matter where they go. The reason why i am writing is so that i can ask you a question. Isnt Berlyn, Alex Wright. I am pretty sure but want to make sure from a professional.
I ASK OF YOU PLEASE WRITE BACK AND ANSWER MY QUESTION..........THANKS.
Subject: Tori/Ivory hardcore match
I'm sure about 3 dozen other anal-retentive people like me have already mentioned this, but it wasn't Mark Henry in the locker room with Droz and Albert, it was Viscera.
Incidentally, I was at an autograph signing by Ivory and Tori on Saturday morning, and while Ivory looks pretty much the same in person, Tori looks WAY MORE HOT in real life. STUNNING.
Alex was the first of MILLIONS of people to correct me. God forbid I ever go through a week without making any mistakes - whatEVER would you all write me about? ;-)
In the future, could you help your readers keep track of when Triple H makes entrance With Water Bottle as opposed to Bottle-Free? There's got to be some correlation between bottle usage and number of jobs performed.
I'll have to think about that one.
Subject: (no subject)
Mankind says he's a little bit prouder and prouder that he's the Rock's partner, and after sending a shout out to Brian (Hildebrand - get well soon!), he says that "finally Mankind has come back to Harvard!" which would be cool if they weren't in HARTFORD. Yuk, yuk, yuk. "
Maybe you already picked up on this, but Mankind said it because Yale happens to be in Hartford, and Yale and Harvard, well, nevermind.....
Hey, how come you missed Lillian Garcia calling Brisco "Gary", at least that is what it sounded like. You also failed to notice that for some reason, there were tampons in the bathroom where Tori and Ivory were fighting, but there was also a urinal. That was weird.
I'm guessing the tampons were imported for the match (as opposed to the urinal, har har).
Subject: Smackdown! Ad
I saw the same ad for Smackdown during Nitro that you did, at the same time. And since I don't think you live in Washington, DC (coupled with the fact that it didn't have the same low-quality look of all of the local spots on my cable service) I think something might be up. Call me crazy (all right, you're crazy), but it's certainly an odd coincidence.
William "Goat" Stilwell
Well, it DID air on top of one of those "AM Gold" music collection ads - that's why I said it was "local."
Subject: (no subject)
Hey CRZ, go to wcw.com and go the Bob Ryder rumors section and see that Benoit will get the title shot next week, although I'm sure you are way ahead of me on that one. How about lightening up on the WCW huh? If they get their act together they could easily take over the ratings. Did I or did I not hear Sting get the loudest ovation of the night when he clocked Luger? Think WCW will act on that? Get Sting the belt and make "The Narcissist" a heel already. I agree with you about Hogan not being able to wrestle anymore but a lot of fans are diggin' the red and yellow and maybe you should lighten up on him a little bit. He is the greatest of all time in terms of popularity. And like it or not, he is THE pro wrestling icon. Although Sting is the man in my opinion. So know your role and keep up the good work!
Did you just tell me to know my role?
A bunch of guys from the dorm are over last night to watch RAW. Everybody's having a good time. A little drinking. A little cheering. A lot of laughs. Except there's this one goob from down the hall who has something "witty" to say whenever anyone makes an entrance. He says, "Look it's the Leathal Weapon, but where's Riggs and Murtaugh." "Here come's Gangrel with a burning ring o' far." "It's Chris Thursday Jericho." He manages to also get in that a can of Hansen's energy drink is hosting the show, that Lilian Garcia is reading from cue cards, and he dutifully notes every-single-goddamned-time someone is... my God... walking. Each little comment is punctuated by an equally ridiculous guffaw (from himself of course). After grumbling to myself for about an hour, and realizing that no one else knows what the hell he is taking about, I ask in a rather diplomatic tone, "Hey, aren't you getting all your lines from some web guy?" only to have him reply, "Yeah man, CRZ!! CRZ rules, man!!!" Completely unfrazzled by his own admission of utter plagiarism, as well as his four-word vocabulary, he proceeds to sing a song (I couldn't make this up if I tried) about CRZ set to The Big Show theme. I'm not sure if I was angry or scared. Either way, I think it's safe to say that we are not far off until the LAPD breaks into a sealed-off compound only to find 2000 dead internet nerds in beds with poisoned cans of Surge lying next to them, wearing t-shirts that say "Zimmerman Comet or Bust" with a little picture of Steve Blackman underneath. The end of the world is here, and it's your fault.
Funny stuff, by the way. Keep it up.
God, I only HOPE you're kidding.
Subject: Triple H's hidden confession
This week, in your marvelous RAW recap, you quote the WWF Heavyweight Champion of the World as saying, in his challenge to King Ass:
I'll bring the belt - you bring the balls - if you got any.
Ok, so Hunter asked ASS to bring the balls. Thing is, correct me if I'm wrong, but since Hunter said "bring THE balls" to Billy, rather than to bring "your balls," doesn't that imply that HHH won't be bringing any, eh.... testicles... to the ring.
If so, this may explain Chyna's masculine appearance and recent bravado... maybe she took them...
Alternately, perhaps the highly-stereotyped gentleman who tried to make Val Venis into "Bobbit" (Mr Yamaguchi?) has been at work backstage lately.
Keep making me laugh... love slash wrestling too,
Subject: Nitro needs no stinking scriptwriters!
Rumor has it that Nitro is seeking to overpay some washed up Hollywood scriptwriters who are so desperate for work that they're willing to pen for WCW. I think these rumors are wrong. I think they've already hired these people, and they have been working for about a month now.
Who did they hire? Well, obviously, the guy who wrote "Rocky IV" (that's 4, not introvenous) is on board, as we now have that plot played out exactly as it was on the screen, except this time we get Buff Bagwell and Alex Wright instead of Stallone/The Punisher (still not sure which is worse). I guess Brigette Nielson as the cruel blond interpreter was unavailable.
Then they went out and got the "Who shot J.R." writer from "Dallas", as we now get the "Who clubbered Sting in the dark" scenario.
They also hired the person who wrote the movie "Clue". Let's see, the person who tried to kill the Booker was the Hulkster, in the parking lot, with the hummer.
The idea for the West Texas Rednecks? Had to be from the writer of "Rhinestone". The First Family? Good question, could be from the "Goonies". The Revolution? Actually, I don't think they've got a writer for the Revolution yet. Does anyone know what plot the Revolution is currently in, other than wasting time beating up the First Family?
I say if they're going to re-hash the stuff they've already written, at least they could give us a good sex scandal or two (I thought they might with the Booker/Gorgeous George/Macho Man/Torrie Wilson thing, but that went nowhere).
Subject: Bald Venis.
Please, CRZ, in the name of all that is decent, stop calling Val "Bald Venis". His whole gimmick rests on him supposedly being attractive, and male-pattern baldness usually doesn't go with attractiveness. He has a girlfriend, and I'm sure that she, as well as most of the folks at WWFE, can see that Val is balding, but there's no need to ridicule the man. He has done nothing to you, he needs his dignity.
Perhaps, instead of mocking Val, you could send him some of your own hair(which you seem to have plenty of), as well as a letter asking whether he's a heel or a face, or where the Godfather went, or whether Mr. Yamaguchi is still trying to choppy choppy his peepee. Just a suggestion. Keep up the good work.
Subject: About C.G. Afi
About C.G. Afi. Yes, he is talented as he worked down here by the Cape [Cape Canaveral] in a local fed called CCW. Worked well as a face and heel.
Subject: The Catbo number
Love your recaps...I gotta tell you this story although I doubt you'll believe me. I called that Catbo number this morning while at work, and got a recording stating that the Cat was busy calling his mama. Then I got a message that the mailbox was full and couldn't accept any more messages. So then I stayed on the line and a prompt came up stating that I could dial other users. I played around with it until I got the ability to dial the extension by name. I entered in BISCH, and then the # sign. I then got some message about cell phones (it might have been a commercial), and then a secy answered "Mr. Bischoff's Office." At this point I hung up, because if I was able to get him on the phone, I would have tried to show him how to make his product better. I didn't want to frustrate myself. WCW has shown they don't care about what the fans want, and I wasn't going to become any more disillusioned then normal. I'm just amazed that they would tie that phone number to their master voicemail system. Unbelieveable. C ya
For the record, Greg's email came before I put David Wasson's letter on the front page. It's cool to see great minds thinking alike!
Subject: For the Love of GOD...
Hey CRZ, you're the only person I can think of who could pull of something like this. How about starting a petition to get NITRO off of the air. I'm sick of Sid, the Millenium Crap, and Tony as well. I'll be the first to sign.
I think you overestimate my impact. Besides, with no Nitro, where would I get all my "A" material?
Subject: Monday Night Reports
I have a quick question on your monday night reports. Before you switched to wrestline, you used to have a timer on your recaps. You would time each match and then add up the total amount of wrestling for each show. Why don't you do that anymore?
Mostly laziness - I still have all the individual times, even if WrestleLine doesn't put them in another colour for you. You can still add them up manually if you REALLY want.
Subject: cold beer, old thoughts and stale promos
I figured WCW would drop Goldie's "crush 'em' theme as soon as the movie faded; so then, maybe Sid's theme should be a skipping hunk a hunk o burning vinyl, perhaps a copy of paul simon's 'one trick pony' would be appropiate? So whats with the long intro's and short matches on RAW, smackdown must be taking a toll, can you say streeeeeeetttttttccchhhhhhhhh???? At any rate, the difference, as far as I'm concerned, between the big 3, is like that of the comic book industry way back when; Marvel (WWF) was always better than DC (WCW) before the publishing industry was re-structured anyway! and the ECW is beginning to remind me of the EC comics of long ago, which look surprizing like the slick independants of today! Thanks for listening!
David E. "The Big Bopper" Everard
Subject: mondays sep 6 1999
i would just like to say i went to raw and it was the worst i,ve ever seen
I believe it was me that once said (in an email to you)... "Hey, wouldn't Billy Gunn's avalanche be called the Ass Avalanche?" That's right! You stole my idea! Bah! who am I kidding? I don't even care.
Sorry to steal your idea.
Subject: All you ever wanted to know about CG AFI and more!
Rudos! Rudos! Rudos! Why not fire all greene? and job out Super Calo?
Anyways, since CG Sightings are becoming all the Rage, I thought I'd compile some CG AFI related information.
I met CG on the web, after reading up about how he broke into the sport, and catching a match of his on a CCW tape. CG is such a great performer, and I hope that peoples' impression of him isn't soured by his hamming it up in the Lodi/Lenny Fan Angle.
CG is a badass in the ring, and is afraid of NOTHING. He's an incredible high flyer, and can bump with the best of them. He bumps like a Kidman, or a lanky Bret Hart...fast and hard and fierce.
When I looked to break into the business, CG was who I approached and he's the one who gave me my first advice, connections, and break into the business. I won't ever forget the favor, even if he forgets who I am.
The "Hanson Regect" CG AFI is getting his shot (I hope in the ring) and he deserves it.
Anyways, man, Pijohos delivers the goods.....DUDE also if you could get a CG afi picture into your report I'd mark out big time and get a CRZ tattoo.
My man here also provides two hyperlinks - here's an interview from StrictlyWrestling.com and this link goes to a photo gallery, courtesy the CCW website.
Subject: new game
Turn on the closed captioning on your TV next time you watch "Raw" and count how many times Ross & Lawler say "uh-oh" or"oh, no". Post an over/under before the telecast (say 30)...whoever loses has to buy the beer.
Subject: (no subject)
who is win thwwfbelt billgunn
Who is the WHAT now?
Subject: Nitro Review
I am surprised you missed it when Heenan said that tonight would be the first time Hogan will get the opportunity to step into the ring with DDP since DDP hurt his leg, even though he fought him last week. What short memories these guys have.
I try to miss at least two things a week in order to ensure enough email to craft a proper "Letters" page.
Way to go on noticing the way Tony called Blitzkrieg "Juventud Guerrera". I was really hoping someone else noticed. By the way, why the hell doesnt Blitzkrieg team with Berlyn??? They both got German names damnit. If thats not reason enough for a WCW stable, I dont know what is.
Spice is the one with short blonde hair right?
I saw her last night at the bar, and while I wouldn't kick her out of my bed, I didn't think she was a WOW girl ... know what I mean.
You're a vicious bastard, Mike.
WHEN EXACTLY DID STEPH AND LINDA GET THEIR SHARES BACK- I KNOW IN LIFE THEY HAVE IT BUT IN THE STORYLINE I DON'T THINK THEY EVER DID. BUT THEN AGAIN MAYBE IT IS JUST ME. LOVE CARA
THE ONLY THING I CAN - oh, sorry - the only thing I can think is that that match was Vince & Shane's shares vs. Austin's CEO position and NOT their shares. But I'm a little too lazy to go back into my archives and check - plus, if I'm wrong, I don't have another better idea.
Subject: Benoit gets the title shot
After Nitro Monday night, Bischoff told WCW Live that Benoit will get the title shot Monday after the PPV. My guess would be that Benoit drops the belt to Sid, but gets the heavyweight belt from Hogan or Sting. BTW, WCW Live has some great insight and is worth listening to. Keep up the good work.
Ok, now let me get this straight...
Sean Stasiak is just a kid from New Jersey trying to make it, and Chaz is doin' this for his dad's name, or was it the other way around?
I don't believe in Zimmerman; I just believe in me. Yoko and me.
Subject: Raw is a Whore....uhhhh War
Just so you know, i enjoy reading your recaps every Tuesday. i rarely find it necessary to write anything in regaurds to your recaps, but just so you know, during the Ivory Vs. Tori match, it was another big black biatch in the men's locker room not Mark Henry. It was Viscera, who apparently wasn't wearing his "in character" garb. And was it just me or did it look like Tori's back was actually burned in the match. The iron was plugged in prior to the chord choke. And i don't care how you throw soap, but when you get hit with soap it hurts pretty damn bad, that's why you don't piss your girlfriend off in the shower.
Justin H. Sullivan
Girlfriend in the shower - check.
Subject: Notes about NitRaw
1. I haven't seen Jackie do any significant wrestling for quite a while. All of a sudden, she pops up against Jeff Jarrett. I've read that she wrestled men on a regular basis when she was in Texas (not to mention to match with Disco in WCW). Do you suppose her sudden visibility had anything to do with the probability that she is the only female (with the remotely possible exception of Chyna) that can sell, for lack of a better term, "full-speed male moves"?
2. Hey, Buff, are you sure Miami is still part of the United States?
3. By the slightly off-center gaze Ute was projecting toward the camera, I wonder if she was reading from cue cards. If so, were the cards written in German or English?
4. Funny...M.J. Fernandez DID check with me re. your availability. I goofed. I told her you were holding out for Anna Cornucopia, or whatever her name is. Sorry.
I will never, EVER forgive you. Dick.
Cool Nitro column, as usual. Those guys REALLY botched up that Malenko/Benoit match. I was really getting into that, and I really don't care for either guy. That match and the Sting/Hogan match they botched a couple of Nitros ago were the two most interesting matches in WCW this year, then they RUINED them. Oh well, what's a diehard WCW fan to do, if you smell what The Rock is cooking?
This Nitro was like a Thunder with a great opening and potentially great closing match. That equals not great.
I love Chavo! That match was AWESOME! Blitzkrieg is a badass! So is Eddy, of course.
I like Cheez-It Party Mix, too.
That match was definitely NOT the pretzels.
Subject: Regarding the letter you received from David Wasson
I was reading what you put up about talking to Eric Bischoff so I figured I'd try it for shits and giggles. I really didn't believe it was for real but IT IS FOR REAL!!! I was really surprised so I didn't leave a voice mail message. It was a woman's voice saying something along the lines of "Hello, you've reached the voice mail of Eric Bischoff. Please leave a message after the tone. Thank you." I did not leave a message because I figured if I'm going to vent about how bad Nitro has become I'm not going to say something like "your show sucks, Hogan is old, ect...". I did not want to come off sounding like a jerk and besides he wouldn't take it seriously.
Keep up the great work!!!
Subject: Hardcore Women's Matches
Let me wholeheartedly say on the record. That I most definitely would NOT have a problem with seeing additional Women's Hardcore Matches. That's strictly speaking on a male hormonal level. :)
MONTHS and MONTHS of ICQ'ing me and THIS is what Darien chooses for his first email. *shrug* WhatEVAH.
Did everyone miss the Tony line of the week?
He referred to the main event as "a three-on-two six-man tag team match." Nitro seems to have some real problems with basic math. I won't harp on only saying "nine-time" seven times, 'cause I think that's excusable, but between Tony's line and the 12-man battle royal that only had eleven guys in it (which they still called a 12-man even after it became clear that Hennig wasn't entering), you really have to wonder. Thinking back, they never seem to get the 10-punch count-along to ten.
Maybe they think Nielsens are like golf scores, the lower the better.
I just have to share my character development idea for Al Snow, which I thought of in the shower this morning. Feel free to ignore the rest of this message. On Smackdown, the ex-rooster interviews Al, who is just gone. Maybe he's doing some free-association rhyming before just sort of wandering off, which prompts Taylor to make an offhand comment about Al being totally psycho (Wheel of Fortune booking kicks in). On Raw next week, there's a jobber match in the first hour, say Blue Meanie vs. Funaki. During the match, Al starts lumbering to ring in bright yellow wig and leather vest, muttering about the millenium and how he's 289-and-oh, and making all sorts of ridiculous faces. He slooooowly clambers into the ring and slooooowly punches at Funaki while the Meanie takes it easy. Al chokeslams Funaki then goes after the Meanie and tries to powerbomb him. Meanie falls on him and Stevie makes a fast count. They leave, and Al grabs a mike and declares himself 290-and-oh and the ruler of the squirrels. Then, on the following Smackdown, Al returns to the ring during a jobber match, now declaring himself 1,654-and-oh. He cleans house, but gets attacked and destroyed by Gillberg. Al can then go on to appear every show as a different wrestler, probably WWF guys.
As a follow-up, at some point Al's in the ring dressed as say, a Dudley Boy, when a voice comes over the P.A. saying, "Al. This is head. (Al looks down) No, the other one. (Al scratches his head) No, the other one. Al, you are Al Snow.
Thanks, and sorry for the character idea,
If you read this far, d'ya think I should send the character idea to the Blue Meanie? or WWF.com?
Well, it couldn't hurt. Hey, I LOVED the "Soul Mining" compact disc!
Do ya think that the six-man loss on Nitro is going to count on Sid's "win-loss" record?
Yeah, I doubt it, too.
Subject: Eric Bischoff's Office!
after reading the note on the front page about bischoff's voice mail, i figured i'd make the call myself. i didn't get his voice mail, though, i got his secretary! how cool! she didn't sound very happy, though. i wonder if she's disgruntled about the benoit/malenko match, too.
Subject: 'Go Home'
I did not see it posted in your report.
During the Crash and Hardcore Holly vs. The 'New Brood" match, you heard the ref to tell them to 'go home.' Damn microphones.
He said it when the Hardy tageed the other one in. Near the end og the match obviously.
Subject: the phone number of doom
i think it's safe to say that i pretty much loathe WCW, but for shits & giggles, I tried out the phone number. Anyway, I called at about 11 am EST, and instead of getting a voice mailbox, I got Bischoff himself. I recognized his voice from the last few us opens, dog shos and occasional moby dick. Anyway, he said: "Eric Bischoff's office, this is Eric," and the only thing I could think of in response was "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHOSE OFFICE THIS IS!" and I hung up. I was not expecting him of all people to answer...maybe I would've said something better. Funny thing is, I don't think he (other than by looking at your website) will ever figure out what is going on.
That's TWO "shits and giggles" emails with this same subject! UNHEIMLICH! I think you've provided the best response once they picked up out of all the mails I've gotten.
Subject: Grip N Flip
Yep, that's Raven. AND Jericho! (A Malenko v. Jericho set!)
BTW, Toy Biz put out a new series of figures with WCW guys dressed as their nickname or finishing move (Hart as a Hitman, Goldberg with a jackhammer). Came out the week of Y2J. There's a Jericho-as-liontamer figure (with a cat in a lion wig). These sell out FAST (I got mine 'cause they were opening a new box at Toys R Us as I was looking at the $ Horsemen boxed set & happened to peek.)
I think it would be a hoot if Lenny Lane and Lodi took the "Irvine Wears Our Clothes" thing further & started appearing in full Jericho drag a la Gillberg. It could happen!
Subject: wcw and the shadow government
Just when I thought I could count on one thing on Nitro to make me a happy wrestling fan Vampiro seems to have contracted a bad case of Sid-itus. Even worse is that this particular strain of the disease doesn't even involve good old fashioned violent interference half the time but mafia like threats and that "hypnotic stare" which is apparently supernatural. Christ, even the Undertaker is moving on from the spooky shit and and he's the king of lame magic "wrestling" ( Kane and him tossing bolts of lightning...how stupid was that? )
So either a)Vampiro really likes this angle...probably not.
b)This is just one more bad WCW push attempt...could be
c)This is the begining of a huge Vampiro push leading up to Starcade where he will be main eventing versus Hogan and Nash in a triple threat match and by keeping him out of any actual wrestling matches till then it will be much more believable when he has to sell Nash's big boot and lay down for Hogan's devastating leg drop.
PS is it just me or have the people who are responsible for the horrible booking taken over the technical production too. There were so many screw ups these last two weeks its laughable
Subject: who knew?
i'm disappointed that you didnt notice that during Kanes entrance at the top of the show, for a brief moment on the screen there was an add for Hansens Energy Drink...
Oh you didn't know? That can of Hansen's is the third member of DX!
Just some stuff about your RAW and Nitro reports... actually this is referring to last week's, I'm lazy and it just took me a long time to get around to typing this. Anyway...
The "well it's a big ___" thing- rest assured, you weren't the only one laughing... that was great.
I noticed that after some matches (Rock/Gangrel for instance) you write "Who'd he piss off?" at the end... why does that have to be the case? I don't think there's anything wrong with a basic match with a superior level wrestler vs an average level wrestler with a clean finish. Besides, the crowd likes to watch the Rock win.
I accidentally came across a whole new way to watch wrestling... I hit the mute button, and the "closed captioning" subtitles came up on the screen. I know this sounds pretty dumb, but it is sort of entertaining to watch the closed caption people try to get all the names right. As you might expect, the WCW captions are inferior to the WWF's... for WCW, the words are always about 15 seconds late and half the things being said get left out. In WWF it catches most everything (except for mixing up the names of who's talking at the moment on occasion)... when the Rock comes out, it writes ">>Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?" followed by a music note. It was interesting watching them try to deal with a few things... during a Shane McMahon interview it writes "crowd:" and then leaves it there for a second, I can imagine the guy thinking "can I put "asshole" up on the screen?" as it writes out "crowd: ...shouting". For Xpac vs Taka, it wrote "Take 0 Mitch Unokeou" once, then started ony referring to Taka as "him". Well anyway, it seems pretty stupid when I type it out, but it's kind of interesting to watch.
Subject: Brian H.
I don't know how to get this to him, but maybe you do. I wish Brian H all the luck in the world with his battle with cancer. I just buried a dear friend yesterday after he lost an 18 month battle with a rare form of cancer that attacks the inner walls of the blood vessels. One thing Mike taught us all before he passed away is that no matter what happens to you, keep faith. Mike was a wonderful human being with more faith than I thought possible. Unfortunately, he wound up with 2 brain tumors this past week. But I know that Mike would be passing along his strength and faith to those in need of it, and so I Send my wishes and hope for Brian. Mike is at peace now, and we are all glad he is out of pain. But I know that anything is possible. Good luck Brian!
Subject: Something you should have mentioned.
"And lest you forget, Hulk Hogan has a big ol' world title match with Sting THIS SUNDAY at Fall Brawl! ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!"
Ok, that is what you wrote in your Nitro recap. I cut and paste, so it should be accurate. Now then, you should have written it like this.
And lest you forget, Hulk Hogan has a big ol' world title match with Sting THIS SUNDAY at Fall Brawl! ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! ONLY 2500 TICKETS SOLD!!!
WCW sucks my ass
Subject: Ways to save WCW
Get Dusty back in the ring, put the strap on him and have him feud with the new 4 Horsemen(Hugh Morris, The Cat, Scotty Riggs and Meng) Chris Benoit will be his trusted friend and tag team partner in this war, only he will now be known as "Magnum" C.B., complete with handlebar mustache and neck warmer hairdo.
Dusty Rhodes+World title+Four Horsemen=money in the bank!
Rehire the Shockmaster, El Gigante, Jimmy "Jam" Garvin and the Black Scorpion to form a superstable to feud with New US Champ "Lightning Foot" Jerry Flynn.
Have Sid run in on all of the undercard matches(especially the ones that might be worth watching in their entirety) and sqush people with his scintillating chokeslams and powerbombs and give him the stick for ten minutes so he can-oh, never mind.
Creat a super-heavyweight division for men 300 lbs and over. Hire Viscera away from the WWF and give him the strap and a monster push. Book him in 20 minute title defense matches every Monday on Nitro in the last hour. Then push Rey Mysterio as the number one contender for the strap.
Put all of the guys who can actually work an exciting match on their own with lame ass tag team partners so that they never get a chance to shine on their own. Call it-the Booker T push.
Hire Lillian Garcia away from WWF to do play by play with Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan and then have Eric Bischoff gloat about it every week on Nitro.
If these ideas don't work they could always get Bill Watts to run the company. He should have some great plans! Remember those great UWF matches from about 15 years ago?...
Subject: jericho in albany
actually, mike samuda was inccorect in why jericho fired finkel. when jericho was in the cage in the ring, he yelled "Harold, raise the cage!" but howard(jericho called him harold) didnt raise the cage because he was arguing backstage with the female announcer. so jericho was screaming"raise the cage!" and then shamrock finally tore open the cage. it was very funny.
Subject: Hogan, and Hummer, and stuff like that there
Hey CRZ, was reading your Nitro report, and noticed a line that stuck out in my mind during the hogan interview. "As for the picture of the Hummer, the vehicle in question was a hard top, not a ragtop, so there" Well, if you look at the top of your page, the Hummer WAS a ragtop. hmmm....WCW being stupid again, or them alluding to the fact that the hummer driver IS hogan?
My head hurts.
Subject: IT WORKS
I called the Cat Bo Number and it said the VM box was full and i did the extension transfer and punched in the number and damned if it didnt say it was eric bischoffs office i was shocked. by the way your reports are awesome the nitro reports are better than the actual show.
I read your CRZ reports and I think they're the best. I think i've mailed ya before to comment. But I was wondering if you could help me out with something that's been hankering up my shorts lately.
I remember a while ago, I guess around the summer of 96 or so, reading about Stevie Richards, and how he was in some horrible accident and how he'd never return to wrestling or something. And so I forgot about him and now he's in the WWF and he looks awfully familar, I recognize his out fit and everything. So what's the deal with that, am I just crazy or what?
And I was watching RAW and I was just thinking back, and I was thinking how much it seems the WWF is playing off TEST like the Macho Man. Rememeber back when Macho Man proposed to Elizabeth in the center of the ring? (I think that was WWF) and now they have him doing flying elbow drops, and I just thought the smiliarities were kinda one in one
Funk Master Z; The Chief of Funk Police
PS cool allusion to Al Green
You're not crazy - at one time they said that Richards' injuries were career-ending. Obviously, Stevie's backed off of that. ;-) I still think they're trying to make Test into Diesel, but the Savage influence is definitely there...
Why do you only do a year ago on Nitro now, and not Raw?
This week and last week RAW is WAR was pre-empted by tennis, and I didn't do reports on the "RAW Saturday Night" substitutes. No reports then = no 1YA reports now. 1YA RAW will return next Sunday night!
Hi CRZ -
Just a thought - why isn't anyone reacting to Vincent being a 'Redneck'? Seems to me that Bischoff has given the internet the perfect "How do you like that 'sheasteriskt' boys??" to answer all the posts about that angle causing racial tension in the company....... he may not be such a dummy after all you know, we are seeing glimmers of intelligence occasionally........!
Somebody get Hardwork Bobby Walker on the phone!
Subject: Schivane Sucks.....right?
You mentioned in your Nitro Report from 9/7/99, that Blitzkreig was refered to as Psychosis by Tony Shivane. I noticed that plus, have you noticed that Schivane always calls Shaggy 2 Dope Violent J, and Violent J Shaggy 2 Dope? Shaggy is the big guy, J is the skinny one. Why the hell doesn't WCW can his @$$?
But THEN who'd wash their cars?
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
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