Light load this week - just the top 20 authors. I must not have made any grevious errors this week as I avoided bombardment! ;-) Let's roll...
Subject: Vicious Dogs, Roided Up Freaks, and Refs on Strike...
The WWF: where old Scott Steiner angles live again.
(Okay so the Roided Up Freak part isn't an angle but
it makes for a better title...)
Subject: Sid's Blue Light
I don't usually write to people who I do not know, but something occurred
to me as I was watching Nitro tonight. Didn't Sonny Ono Buy the blue
lights off of Glacier for the Cat? Shouldn't the Cat own the rights to the
blue light. I think that they should start a feud between the Cat and
Sid. I think that would put them both in their correct place. I
personally do not think the cat is as bad as most people (or at least
internet smarts) think he is. He has much better Mic skills than Sid and
he is faster than Sid.
Thanks for reading. Keep up the good work.
Subject: Chris Jericho
I don't know if you've noticed this, but Chris Jericho has fought only
(former?) DX members on air so far, i.e. Road Dogg, I believe X-Pac, and
last night, Mr. Ass. Think it's a knock on those on the internet who
thought he'd join DX when he came to the WWF? Just a thought.
But...what about tomorrow when he takes on Shamrock? And what of Mr. Hughes?
Subject: Closed Captioning Fun
Finally found one area in which WCW is superior
to the WWF ... closed captioning. I was playing
with my picture-in-picture and closed captioning
features, so I could have the audio on the little
window and the CC on the full screen. Didn't want
to miss anything important, you know!
Anywhoos, the CC for Raw was not very good. Tons of
errors. One which made me laugh was when JR said
that Jarrett should "look in the mirror," the CC
said "look in the Mero." Which Mero would that be?
And which orifice should he investigate?
Over on Nitro, the CC was very thorough. Just about
every sentence, names spelled correctly. Hell, while
Robinson was holding his infamous "Record for the
Millenium" sign, at the same time the CC had it
spelled correctly! Maybe Sid should hire the CC guy
to create and hold his signs!
Is this on?
Those poor, poor CC folks - having to transcribe Scott Steiner's mealy-mouthed mumbling - it's a Herculean effort!
I'm hurt.... you forgot to mention that Ivory's scarf had returned. I
count on your vigilant reporting of things like that (mostly for Nitro,
which I tend to ignore) :-). Also, is Shane hurt, he usually works better
then he did last night, where he really sucked....
I believe I'm getting better at mentally blocking the scarf from my visual memory - that or I (damn) DID miss something this week! Damn, you, Jeremy - damn you!
Subject: Charles Robinson
Yes, there are two Charles Robinsons. Actually, there
is the ref, Charles Robinson, and his evil twin, Earl.
The WCW booking committee will continue their
crack-influenced booking and keep the US title on Sid
and push him to a World title shot against Hogan (I'm
sure he'll have the belt back eventually). In this
match, Charles will get knocked out and "Earl" will
come in to make the count for Sid. After the match,
Sid will give the belt to Ted DiBiase. The next
night, we find out that Sid has retired to go play
softball with the squirrels.
Not a very likely scenario, but I would never put
anything past WCW.
Who started that "squirrels" joke, anyway? It's not funny! I'd like to THROTTLE the guy who made that thing popular! He never says anything CLOSE to "squirrels!" "Squirrels!" "Squirrels!" AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Subject: Nitro Report
Spare us the lame sarcasm at the end of your column about having to say
the show was much, much better because your biased. The only reason you
made that remark is because it isn't posh and goes against your "It's
cool to hate WCW," attitude to give the Turner boys a compliment for a
good show. Not a great show but a good one.
Face It..Your Are Biased!! You and the rest of Wrestleline are working
for Vince. I am convinced there is a bad nWo Internet shoot angle going
on here. No doubt Vince is a venture capital partner in all this!
Instead of who drove the Hummer? It's who is paying Wrestleline's bills
and the answer in WWFE!
If it wasn't for Madden we could call this site wwf's wrestleline.com
Check. Gotcha. Thanks!
Subject: Jericho's impending stardom
Just a quick observation.
Jericho almost by default has to become a superstar in the WWF because
1) he's great on the mic and 2) he's about the only 'name' worker in the
WWF who's athletic at all.
Austin, while way over with just about everyone, is a brawler. The Rock
has maybe two wrestling moves and most matches degenerate into punch,
punch, etc. HHH-brawler. The Undertaker, Kane, Big Show, Mankind all
have their moments but are all very limited in the number of moves they
employ. Shamrock, Acolytes, Dudleys, and on and on are all, for the
most part, not very athletic and basically brawl in every match. A guy
with Jericho's humor, acting skills and athleticism in the ring will be
such a welcome change from the other WWFers that he can hardly miss
becoming a superstar. Doesn't he?
Subject: you're right
Figures that they show the Starburst commercial after Scott
Steiner---who gets more juice?
I gotta admit that WCW is stringing together some better wrestling-but
still no storylines to speak of-also the ambiguous face-heel
relationships need to be straightened out-but at least they're trying.
Who do you think put the forklift there?
The guy who drove the Hummer! No, wait - the guy who raised the briefcase!
Subject: Brain teaser
Can you guess which wrestler Homer Simpson would fear the most and why?
PS. There is a legitimate, logical answer behind this. I'm not just
pulling something out of my ass.
I'm really lazy, though - can't you just tell me?
Subject: RE: Brain teaser
Mick Foley. With Homer's fear of sock puppets, Foley and Socko would
Subject: REVIEWS WCW
I enjoy the enthusiasm, sarcasm, and wit with which you write.
Two things: I love the fact that you transcribe; why not include
Mr. Pump's ramblings?
Secondly, this would be really cool. Have on your page some
link (s) with your name or something with that WAV of the
Undertaker saying that CRZ is
"A natural born killer. Once he realizes how deadly he is, no
one can stop him!"
Scott Steiner's speech came at a bad time for me - I literally FELL ASLEEP during the segment! I'll try to make it up to Big Poppa next time...
Subject: Mr. Hughes part two.
Dear Mr. Zimmermann,
I apologize if I missed spelled your name in the
greeting. Anyway, I have been reading your arcticles,
or as they are labeled "rants" for a few months now.
I generally find them to be insightful and hilarious.
You have my permission to forward this letter to your
superiors for that raise you have been aching for.
I thought you might find this humourous. While
my girlfriend and I were visiting here folks over the
weekend, we were passing time watching a tape of WWF's
Smackdown. My girlfriend's mother sat down and
watched with us for a while and made the observation
Mr. Curtis Hughes looks an awful lot like Gary Coleman
from 'Diff'rent Strokes'. Needless to say we burst
out with laughter and it has become yet another
running gag inside the wrestling circle we have here
Please keep up the ranting, raving and drooling.
Your reports have become a mainstay in my Monday night
viewing habits, extending it through to Tuesday night.
Subject: lest we forget...
I think you need to remember something in your recaps: There ARE people
so completely steeoopid out there as to not know it's a Gasoline can
without the Gasoline word written on the Gasoline can.
Then again, they're probably illiterate and can't read the Gasoline word
on the Gasoline can.
Oh well. I guess you should disregard this Gasoline-related email
Ben, the Gasoline man
They should have had Pete "Gas" involved! GAS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha
Remeber the Bret Hart (less infamous) screwjob at the four way match? I
smell the same deal for Triple H at unforgiven. HHH takes the belt at
unforgiven only to lose it the next night, big screwjob for HHH. But,
execellent way to get HHH some much needed heel heat. Unless, of course,
the SCSA heel turn I predict come about. Let's sing along with the new
number one face! ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY!
and no, I'm not a mark, I've liked The Rock for a long time and it's about
time he made it to the upper-upper card again. That crap with Billy Gunn
really sucked, even if it was a desprate attempt to push Mr. Ass.
I'll need to hear from you after SmackDown!, I think...
Subject: THANKS CHRIS!
I ADMIRE THAT AT THE END OF YOUR NITRO
REPORT THAT YOU SAID IT WAS A BETTER NITRO. I AGREE IT HAS BEEN BETTER FOR TWO
WEEKS IN A ROW. THANK GOD ! I ADMIT THE I'M WCW FOR LIFE ALWAYSS HAVE BEEN AND
AND WILL REMAIN THAT WAY. I KNOW THAT THE WWF IS PUTTING OUT A BETTER PRODUCT
THAN WCW IS RIGHT NOW BUT WITH BITCHOFF OUT OF THE GAME HOPEFULLY WCW WILL SHOW
THE WRESTLING WORLD WHAT THEY CAN DO. I DON'T DISLIKE THE WWF I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
A FLAIR AND STING FAN. I JUST PERSONNALY THINK THE WCW HAS ALOT MORE TALENT ON
THERE ROSTER THAN THE WWF. AND WITH TURNERS MONEY HE CAN HIRE SOMEONE TO RUN THE
I DON'T THINK...err, sorry...I don't think WCW's problems can simply end with Bischoff's ouster - but it MIGHT be the beginning of a turnaround. Veeshallcee...
Subject: This week's RAW.
I don't think Shane was turning on Vince at all -- he was trying to keep
him from getting beaten up.
But I DO think either Shane or Test will turn, AT or AFTER the wedding,
Subject: info on the lodi fan
the lodi fan is Casanova Jones from the Tampa/St. Petersburg based FL
Wrestling Promotion known as IPW. Him Jet Jaguar and 2 other JBrones all
signed 3year contracts with WCW. just in case ya wanted to know....
But...but I thought he was C.G. Afi!! WHY won't Mike or Rick pick up on this story? I'm NOT a reporter! I can't HANDLE breaking news!!
Subject: RAW/smackdown reports
You magnificent bastard,
I just got finished reading your latest Raw report on wrestleline. I am
still laughing my ass off! You write the best recaps in the business. I
almost look forward to the Tuesday recap about as much as Raw. Your style is
just killer. I really appreciate the Smackdown report since we don't get UPN
on or lame ass cable system (oh but we just have to get "lifetime for women")
TCI is such a whore. Just a quick comment on the following statement in
your last report: "Steph's attire is a T-shirt and shorts, in case you cared"
YES I CARE!!!!! Steph does something for me.....I even think that I was
more excited to see Steph in shorts than Debra in a bikini! Call me twisted
but I really dig Steph.
Anyway, love your work, look forward to it, keep it up...blah, blah, woof,
ASROK form Iowa
What, you like her CALVES? Ewwww.
OK, I absolutely love this Jeff Jarrett/Chyna angle, but one thing about it
bothers me. It seems to me the WWF is being very WCW-esque by seemingly
ignoring the fact that Chyna is a HEEL. They seem to want the fans to root
for Chyna against him, yet she is still aligned with HHH, who they are trying
to make into the most hated heel out there. I just think that deep down
nobody (myself included) really wants to see her win the IC title.
Also, it seems that whenever WCW makes a blatant oversight like this, which
is rather frequently, everyone jumps all over it screaming how stupid they
are and how much they suck, and yet the WWF is doing this, and nobody seems
to mind. I haven't seen a single word about it anywhere. I mean, I wouldn't
want to think all of these Internet smarts are getting partial or anything
(and I'm not even referring to Rick Scaia wetting his pants every time ECW
even comes close to putting on a decent match).
This may affect my SmackDown! report...I've actually been thinking about this a bit...stay tuned...
Dear CRZ, I know you don't work for W.O.W. Magazine (yet), but I really
need your help. Seeing as how Wrestleline is W.O.W.'s official internet
site (or something), please talk to someone about the pictures in the
magazine. What am I talking about, you ask? Well, the issue with part 2
of Rena Mero's interview. Page 161. Strawberry Fields. What's wrong with
this picture??? CAMEL TOES CHRIS, GODDAMMED CAMEL TOES. I don't mean
little baby camel toes, I mean Size 22 Air Camels! I mean *damn*. Do
something about this okay?
Hmmm....now that you mention it, WrestleLine DOES have some Fields photos on their Bombshells page, and she certainly seems very attractive - but what is a... "camel toe?"
As for employment, representatives WOW Magazine's publisher (who also does ECW Magazine, in case you cared) contacted me way back in November 1998 - we talked a bit about possible writing assignments and nothing came out of it. In retrospect, I think it was the right thing to do - ask the ScoopTHIS! guys about them sometime. Hey, is ScoopTHIS! still around? I sure miss those guys. Most of them hate me, you know. Sad, really...
Christopher Robin Zimmerman