I Get Letters
Thanks to: Jim Gramze
Guess what topic won the "Millions of people send a 'correction' to CRZ?" lottery THIS week?
For the record, what I MEANT to say when I said Tom Berenger was waiting for "Substitute II" was that he'd fallen SO FAR FROM GRACE that he couldn't even afford cable, so he didn't KNOW they'd already made both "2" AND "3." Umm, yeah! That's what I meant!
I give you my word that every letter you see here is an honest-to-God, actual letter - and nothing is made up by me except the responses you see underneath.
Subject: RAW - point on X-Pac
I just had to point out how glad I was to see that X-Pac's turn towards selfishness and anti-corporate mentality did not affect his enjoyment or support of Hansen's energy drink. See, even though he stabs his friends in the back, he DOES still have some loyalties.
Well, now that he's splitting the DX Royalties again, he still needs that quick cash from the Hansen's concern.
Subject: Nitro & Raw 11/1/99
Hey CRZ --
I'd like to post the following classified ad that will be seen in the "Atlanta-Journal Constitution" in the very near future:
WANTED: Person/Persons responsible for directing, editing and writing vingeretts for local entertainment organization. Must be able to direct individuals with little or no acting expertiece. Experience with video/audio equipment helpful but definately not necessary - we will train! Please send info c/o Eric Bischoff -- damn, scratch that - Vince Russo, WCW, One CNN Center, Atlanta.
I swear, that whole skit with the Animals and Luger was funny as hell - for all the worng reasons. Watching Lugie's & Liz's mouths move without the words made me wonder when Godzilla would be making an appearance . . . .
ANYWAYS -- thank god Raw can on soon after that mess . . . .
What can I say except Raw (as usual) rocked. Espically the end match, man Shane can really put over big time! Russo who???
Gotta run, dude. -- Midterms this week so don't have a lot of time to write. . . talk to you soon . . .
To Whom it may concern: After seeing Mideon's new ring outfit it is blatantly obvious that he should get a world title push. His floppy man breasts are so sexy, he should walk out to HBK's "Sexy Boy" theme song. We are not gay but after seeing Mideon we are giving it some thoughts. Also, for his finishing manuever we'd like to make some suggestions: "The tit slap of death" "Satan's Boob Drop", "Man Breast's suplex", "the Floppy Flamigo", "Laxtating Nipple of Doom", "The Droopy Boob Driver", and finally the classic "Tit Fuck". In conclusion, if Mideon doesn't receive a title shot at SmackDown I will be so devastated that we will commit ritual suicide. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely, The Mideon Fan Club
President Thomas N. Friedman
Vice President Benjamin Lamberty
Social Chair Alexander South
Treasurer Joshua Oelker
Public Relations Reed Crow
P.S (Porn Star, much like what Mideon could be!)
Those interested in joining our club please contact me at ThomasF@u.arizona.edu, Blambert@u.arizona.edu, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com
You're all sick. SICK.
Subject: tonight's nitro
I watched a lot of Nitro tonight, figuring I would give it a chance because all of the internet smarts keep saying that the product has improved. Maybe I should be eating retarded sandwiches served by Corky Thatcher, but I saw basically a direct rip off of most of the WWF's storylines of the past year. Smiley in a chest protector? Uh, D-Lo's schtick 9 months ago. Nash as McMahon? Uh, any D-X skit from the past 18 months and their mocking of TNT. The Powers that Be? Uh, McMahon for the past 12-18 months. Now I know that Professional Wrestling really only has about 5 or 6, er 200, different types of stock angles, but don't you think that WCW and Russo and Ferrara could come up with something original?
Although it's still too early to tell, it seems that these two could be the Eric Bischoff's of 1999-2000, a high peak and a precipitous fall. Honestly, what was that crap all about? Now I hear that Brad Armstrong is going to basically copy his brother's schtick. What a joke. Anyway, I now know why I switched allegiances in the first place: The WWF comes up with new angles (or maybe just stock angles but done a bit differently) and WCW steals them. Nice. I plan on giving them a few more chances, but if this crap continues, I won't be flipping the remote ever again. By the way, Hall and Nash are so lame. Nice clothes corky squared. It saddens me to watch these two try so hard.
P.S., I have some FUBU gear that I'm selling cheap. Come get it whitey.
Watch this space for pictures of ME wearing FUBU! (Unless Matsfann was kidding!)
Subject: Nitro Heaven
Double J Justin and I were watching Nitro last night when the whole Nitro Girls cat fight went down. Needless to say, he was quite excited (since he [and I] like you are major Spice marks) when the potential Spice/AC Jazz cat fight happened.
Which led to his great line: "Somewhere on the other side of the country, someone we know is getting just as excited as we are." :>
As far the rest of the show, feh. (Except for Benoit's psychotic swandive headbutt.) I become more and more annoyed with the Russo-centric tone of Nitro. I've started calling Russo "Copernicus" since everything revolves around him.
Subject: Not going anywhere for awhile?
"I'll bet Tom Berenger STILL thinks they might make "The Substitute II" and sits by the phone."
they made two sequels, direct to HBO, and starring Treat Williams. Tom better grab a snickers while he can. ;)
This was the FIRST of MILLIONS of emails...as we shall see...
Subject: What Mark Henry thinks of Kurt Angle
I'd remind you that unless I'm mistaken, Mark Henry didn't win JACKSHIZZNIT in the Olympics, and Angle did, making Angle the more celebrated real athlete.
They did make The Substitute II, only with Trest Williams instead of Berenger. Man Berenger needs a good role soon, maybe Platoon II: Barnes' Revenge?
Subject: Tom Berenger
They did make the Substitute II.
Only they made it with Treat Williams.
Check your local video store... I believe it came out on video just about a year ago...
Poor, poor Tom.
Subject: Don't even bother watching Monday nights anymore
I have been a faithful reader since Wrestlemaniacs was just Micasa wrestling but I'm sick of seeing you rip both Monday night shows week in and week out. Your recaps are decent but your opinions and comedy are so negative towards both products. It seems that you only write about blunders and low points of both shows in addition to re-capping them.Iguess you're more of a WCW mark since you rip on Nitro less.I know that both shows have bad aspects about them, but don't make such a big joke out of it. I will still continue to be a faithful reader of your recaps, but next time please point out some of the better points of the shows.
P.S, I hope Nitro surges back with a better product than the WWF. I'm sick of seeing the same matches and controversial angles on Nitro. Smackdown is pretty decent, but I miss the days of Nitro in '96 where me and my friends would get a few cases of Yeungling and sit around and watch eagerly. Russo and Ferrara have a good start.
You've been reading since WrestleManiacs but you think I'm a *WCW* mark?!?
Subject: (no subject)
hey buddy, why don't you be a little more bitter? If you obviously hate wrestling so much why do you bother to write about it? Do you honestly have nothing better to do then sit and watch something you obviously don't like and write long ass articles about it? And don't give me that shit about how since i read your article you're obviously doing something right b/c this is the first time i read it. Have fun in your pathetic life though. peace.
Thanks for writing!
Chris, I've been reading your recaps for quite a while now and I have to say I'm a little disappointed you don't seem to really like the new Nitro. I had to suffer through Nitro for the last year or so like everybody else. But, when they hired Russo and Ferrerra(Spelling?) things changed almost overnight. Its exciting to watch again. Granted, it reminds me of Raw but hell. I like Raw! Plus, Raw is starting to get a bit stale lately anyways. Look at what Russo was able to do with the limited talent base he had in the WWF and imagine what could be done with the WCW roster.
P.S.- The Kevin Nash "Vince" skit was really funny. Kind of reminded me of when Russo wrote the storyline of DX invading Turnerland. Remember that?
So you LIKE it because they're only ripping off THEMSELVES?
Dude, they *did* make The Substitute II. Didn't star Tom Berenger, and didn't have a theatrical release, but it was a sequel. I think it was on Showtime or something.
And here's Substitute III. Really.
Also, the funniest part of Raw for me was when Mick put out the burning (metal) trash can witha fire extinguisher, and I was like, Mick, dude, metal gets hot when it's being burned, and he was all like, what? I can't hear you, you live in Massachusetts and I'm in DC, but I'll reach my hand into the trash any.. OW! Shit! Hot!
I don't like seeing Mankind hurt himself, but that was funny because I'm pretty sure it was real. And it didn't actually hurt him that much.
Subject: WCW NITRO
Are you saying that Nitro is a bad show? I think the show is FINALLY as good as WWF... You can't see a noticeable improvement????
Subject: Love 'em
I love your reports first off.
Second off, is there anyone else offended to the point of disgust of a bunch of 40 somethings like Hall and Nash acting like 20 year olds? What a fucking disgrace. I hope their ex-wives are raking in the alimony.
Subject: Re: Nitro
It's not that I like things that have already been done. Its that Nitro SUCKED SO MUCH that ANYTHING thats different and exciting is better. You internet writers drive me nuts sometimes! hehe.
Subject: Why Do You Do NITRO REPORT?
Hello, Mr. Zimmerman. I've just finished reading both of your reports about Raw and Nitro last night. And all I can say is that it's obvious you prefer the wwf over wcw so why do you bother reporting nitro? I mean, for the last few weeks, it's been apparent to many people that wcw is beginning to improve it's program. Yet instead of bringing up positive points about the show, all you do is pick up the bad points of the show. I'm not saying you have to like the show, but at least be fair about it. So, now I ask you, why not do just wwf reports, instead? Or how about ECW reports? Maybe that way it won't seem like you're so biased. To quote Dennis Miller: "But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong." Thanks for your time.
I don't CARE! I'm BIASED! DAMMIT! BIASED!!
Subject: Vinny McNash
i knew a mark like you would get offended at any kind of fun being made fun of the wwf. man your really losing it. why dont you put your old website up, so people can see your writings when you actually had somthing to say.
Which old website was that? WrestleManiacs?
Tell the truth...how long did it take to figure out that Nash was supposed to be Vinny Mac? That was terrible-I don't think anybody in the audience got it, well, maybe 2 people. He didn't look anything like Vince and his "mannerisms" were ridiculous. What was up with the Nitro Girls? Is that supposed to be better than RAW?? If so, then everybody is in for a rude awakening because this was definitely NOT better. It was stupid.
Tasha N. Williams
Is she ever coming back in wrestling again????????????????? I hope so she is the best thing that ever happened and the best looking of them all.
That settlement apparently precludes appearances...but there's always her (snicker) ACTING career.
Subject: walker, texas ranger recaps
i need someone to recap walker for my web site. the job's yours if you want it.
scott goddamn crawford
Subject: WCW recap
Uh..i was flippin around til RAW and one question..what is the deal with Schiavone wearin a suit? Is he now instead of tryin to be street tough now business savy? Its not the clothes that make the announcer! JR dresses like probably everyone in OK but damn hes a great announcer and thats all that matters.
Okay, maybe I spoke too soon about Nitro. I actually fell asleep watching Raw-Well, It was BORING!! Anyway, sound like both programs pretty much sucked. Here's hoping somebody can write something good soon.
Tasha N. Williams
Subject: MONDAY NITRO
I HAVE BEEN AWRESTLING FAN FOR 37 LONG YEARS. GET ME A JOB. LAST NIGHT ON NITRO I THINK YOU FAILED TO GET ACROSS HOW REALLY BAD BOTH THE VIDEO AND AUDIO WERE. THEY NOT ONLY NEEDED NEW WRITERS BUT ALSO NEW TECHNICIANS, THE CUT AT THE END OF THE BAGWELL MATCH LEFT ME CONFUSED ON THE OUTCOME. THE LIZ AND LUGAR LIP SYNC IN THE LOCKER ROOM WAS JR HIGH QUALITY. BILLIONARE TED STILL HAS A HUGE TURD TO FLUSH IN THIS COMPANY. BY THE WAY ....COULD YOU PLEASE CUT THE BERLYN "Y" VOWEL CRAP IN YOUR COLUMNS. VERY ANNOYING AND HARD TO READ AT WORK IN A SHORT TIME. THANKS FOR LISTENING.
BARRY "THE BLADE" RAEHSLER
Chris: Instead of F*ck, might I suggest you merely use "For unlawful carnal knowledge" -- it'll screw up the narrative flow but what the hell.
Subject: Tom Berenger
They did make the Substitue 2. Straight to Video (1998) Tom Berenger was replaced by Treat Williams. And yes I have no life.
Subject: NASH AS MCMAHON
While I agree Nash's impersonation could of been done better, I think the reason why it was done is to show you dont win wars by being good guys.
I have NO IDEA what that means...
Subject: Re: NASH AS MCMAHON
I dont see why but what I meant is that wrestling isnt a business built on weak people its a business built on the strong.When Nash did his impression I think it was a way for WCW to tell the WWF that they weren't going to take the war laying down anymore, and if the WWF will take cheap shots so will they.
Ah, gotcha.... That's a pretty good point, actually.
I was at Raw last night, so I thought it would interest you to know that your boy Blackman got a win over Stasiak in a taped match. Don't worry, I'm sure they'll turn down the "boring" chant for tv. And hey, it wasn't nearly as loud as the "boring" chant during the Dudleys-Headbangers match on Raw.
Also, since Al Snow is my boy, being that we're from the same town, I wanted to let you know that the item he used that you couldn't identify on tv was his cup, which he pulled out of his singlet, and then tossed to Mankind to use on Albert. And yes, he did do a sweet moonsault off the barricade, which missed its target, but was cool nonetheless, even if the cameraman missed it.
You know, I'm kinda glad I DIDN'T know what it was...
I was at the gym late this past week and didn't see the beginning of either program. When I first tuned in Nitro, I thought Kevin Nash was supposed to be Steve REgal. That being said, I thought it was one of his funnier bits. I don't think it was great comedy, but it was hysterical compared to the sewage truck, contortionist, etc.
I do have a serious question for you...why the hell does Lex Luger get any mic time at all? He is totally unbelievable. I mean, if I don't believe he has Sting's best interests at heart, why would his friend of 15 years? And why do they say they were lifelong buddies? Do you remember Luger hiring Cactus Jack and Abdullah the Butcher to put Sting out of wrestling? Sorry for rambling...anyway I think you do an awesome job of recapping the shows. You're way better than that Sean Shannon guy. He is what is referred to in the medical community as "terminally unfunny." Why is he always talking about his sexuality? He needs to focus on a) describing the match, and b) being humorous about it. I don't care if his readers think he's gay. I don't care if he IS gay. Wrestleline should really just get an official version of the tv show from ECW and run that. Shannon is a waste of time. Keep up the good work.
Subject: Nitro comment
I've noticed that lately Konan has been changing his outfit several times every Nitro. I normally don't notice these things, but since he wears a big straw hat in one segment and comes back with a bandana the next, it really jumps out at you.. In keeping with the spirit of appropriately nicknaming wrestlers, should Konan be referred to as another notorious outfit changer, Cher?
BTW, thanks for doing all the Nitro updates when it really sucked.. That's dedication..
If you WWF marks only knew how stupid you sound when you put down WCW! do us all a favor a get someone with an adult's mentality to do the NITRO report.
Did your MOMMY write that email for you?
Subject: Hall's clothing reference...
Scott said "Jacques Cee Penne" or something like that, reference to J.C. Penny's clothing stores.
Subject: wcw storylines
Is it just me, or are these storylines in WCW starting to get much too predictable? I mean, pre-Russo it was the "what the hell" approach, where we rarely knew what was going on, and now there's these:
I mean, it's not ever really that hard to figure out what's going on as far as storylines go, but come ON, we've seen the evil booker angle already, and there aren't too many different ways it can go. Then again, maybe its just me being pissed off because Russo has effectively removed wrestling from Monday Nights. Oh well.
Hey, I visit Wrestleline every day because its the coolest wrestling sites. Your reports are great because my style is to know every detail, keep up the good work, and put some more incredible bombshells photos up!
Yeah, I'll get right on that. I tell you, it really gives me a swell of pride to know that I'm working on "the coolest wrestling sites."
Subject: Nash isn't funny at all!
CRZ, I read your recaps every week, and love them. Keep up the great work! I appreciate the sacrifice that you make to watch both shows, especially because, lately, both shows are putting me to sleep!
I had to write this week and tell you I agree 100% and say that the man I used to think was Big and Sexy, is a complete dork. He wouldn't know "funny" if it bit him on his flat, leather-clad ass. Has his 7ft ego gotten the better of him, or is he deliberately trying to get fired for putting this crap on tv?
Subject: re: RAW report
There WAS a sequel to "The Substitute". Two, in fact. "Substitute 2: School's Out!" and "Substitute 3: Winner Takes All". Both were made-for-TV.
Treat Williams "substituted" for Tom Berenger in both, though.
Mark Q. Chumly
Chumly, you're truly a Renaissance Man.
A few questions you.
Didja notice that in that Cat / Lash match from last Nitro, Cat actually tapped the bottom rope? Now call me a wrestling purist, but if he tapped the damn rope, shouldn't the hold have been broken?
Why is it Buff comes out and lays down, showing all fans that wrestling is a work, but at the time, Curt Hennig is wrestling for his career? It's like the Powers that Suck can't quite figure out what kayfabe is.
All throughout Nitro, every segment of walking or talking was bookended by awkward moments, such as the Rev standing around waiting to walk. I won't even mention that whole Lex / Liz joke. Oops, too late. Maybe before they start incorperating that stuff into the show, they should get a little better at it.
On Raw, how the hell did Mike Cole and the cameraman escape the gas past Bossman and Albert, but Paul Friggin' Wight could not? Uh, o...k.....
I was just noticing that in the old days of Wrestlemaniacs, you boys all used to act as a unit; you, OO, MiCasa, and that Heat guy whatsisname. Now it's just everyone doing their own thing, and I kinda miss the old days.
We ALL miss the old days. Well, not really.
Subject: (no subject)
hey man don't hate the WCW for trying. Im pretty sure if you or me were runin Nitro and tryin to get ratings we'd take cheap shots at the comp.
Why do you say that? I hardly EVER take cheap shots at MY "competition!"
Subject: (no subject)
Do you get high? You said total package was backstage with Luger and screwed up and changed interviews a little which could confuse people who didn't watch the show.
Were YOU high when you wrote me this email? Are you a split personality? Please, forgive my typing error. I'm sure I meant "Liz" instead of "Luger."
Subject: Your Raw report
i hate to tell you this but being a big movie buff and former Blockbuster employee, there is a Substitute 2 out there I'm sorry to say that Mr. Berenger does not appear in it. it is treat williams yup mr. deep rising himself
Subject: hey CRZ
I was going to write a column on kayfabe, but two others beat me to it. I emailed them both to say they did a good job.
Love the site.
Keep up the great work. Remember, there's people like me who follow wrestling only through your reports (although I did get lucky and flip to TNT while the kid was in her room playing at exactly the right time to catch Spice in action. YOWZAH!!! I don't like what I'm hearing about the current direction of WCW right now, but give me Spice in a cat fight any day. Then my kid came back in the room and I quickly flipped back to the exciting gibbons and lemurs on the Animal Planet. I felt like I was 15 again and nearly caught by my Mom looking at my brother's Playboy.)
Hey Clyde, got the picture. She IS a cute kid. But...giving up watching wrestling just to have a family?
Subject: Please tell me you were kidding
PLEASE tell me you're not so dense as not realize who Nash was coming out as long before he ever came out.
Ummm.....okay, I wasn't! <--lying
Subject: Monday Night Wars
After having to tune away from the debacle known as "Monday Nitro" last night (11/1/99) I had a thought, and I would like your opinion.
The bizarre (which is the only word for it) sketches on "Nitro" referring to Vince McMahon and the WWF ad nauseam makes me wonder, is it possible that the "jumping ship" by Messrs. Russo & Ferrara from WWF to WCW, is it actually a plan by Mr. McMahon to further undermine or destroy the WCW?
Sure it seems like a wild stretch of the imagination. Picture McMahon, Russo and Ferrara holding a meeting some time ago and Vince says, "Here's an idea, you guys go to WCW, give them story lines that will draw attention to WWF, and make "Nitro" the worst possible product you can. Then once WCW is completely in the dumpster, you guys will have your jobs back here waiting for you."
Think about it, that plan is more credible than what we're currently seeing on both "Nitro" and "Raw".
What else could be the explanation of the worst program to ever come out of the WCW camp in years?
What do you think?
Matthew K. Graf
You know, the really SCARY thing is I can't totally discount this theory. You have to wonder if any of the WCW higher-ups are thinking the same thing...
fyi they did make a substitute 2 but berenger wasnt in it... just thought id point that out so u know someone read all your recap. peace
I'm so RELIEVED! Someone read all my recap!
Subject: Tom Berenger
What? You mean you HAVEN'T seen "The Substitute 2?" Or "The Substitute 3?" They both star Treat Williams in the title role of mercenary turned inner city schoolteacher.
P.S. They both sucked, although I still love the original. It takes balls to make a film with the title character inexplicably named "Shale."
That comment on the Pokemon movie in your Nitro report damn well better not be sarcastic. Bad things tend happen to Monday night reporters that rip on Pokemon. I think. JIGGLYPUFF!
On a totally unrelated note, think that at Mayhem, a November pay-per-view in a Canadian city, Kevin Nash as "The Promoter" will come to ringside during the Hall-Hart championship and yell "RING THE FUCKING BELL!!!" Yeah, it'd make no sense, but this IS Vince Russo.
Dude, I give a big thumbs up to Nitro this week, it was very entertaining! Thank goodness it is moving along nicely. Sting will always be a fan favorite, no matter how they try to make him bad, he STILL comes across as like you just want to chear for him.
Subject: whats the deal man?
Hey whats up man. I read your Raw/Nitro reports every week. You are the man....well, John Petrie has a good report too, but you still rock...just got a few questions/comments for ya:
1. What is the big deal with Scott Hall and Kevin Nash? Are they supposed to be funny? Is this Russo and Ferera's(SP?) idea of high quality talent and entertainment? Kevin Nash is a horrible actor/wrestler/human that should be shot and killed. Scott Hall is an ok wrestler but he just doesnt seem to be all there. Why do they get so much camera time?
2. What is the deal with people these days? The thing with the Al Snow figure is just damn stupid. How can a freakin' fake head be a depiction of the abuse of women? Throw me a freakin' bone here... Goes to show how stupid women are.
3. Sure there are some things getting better in WCW, but will it ever be better than WWF? The WCW should be ashamed of themselves for always putting down the WWF for SHOCK TV and shit like that. They are going to become "shock tv" just like WWF and not even second guess it. I am a big WWF mark and I dont think ill ever enjoy WCW again.
Thats all i gotta say bout that. Guess i've ranted enough. Keep up the good work and great columns...
lake charles, la
Subject: Slap nuts
What do monkeys do at the zoo? I mean, when they aren't humpin' or throwin' shyte around?
I don't think JJ (or Russo) would have used that term with just anyone.
I don't know for sure, but that was my second impression.
My first impression was "WTF? HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hell, I'm still giggling about it. I'm going to try it out on a few people and see what they think.
Right up there with this gem:
The San Francisco 49er defense: 11 monkeys f**king a football! Pretty sick.
When Scott Hall Was asking the "promoter" where he shopped you said you had no idea what he said. Well, what he said was do you get your clothes from Jacque Ces Penny or in layman's terms J.C. Penny's. And it was pretty damn funny in the course of things but it is not now. Just tought I'd let you know.
Subject: Substitute II
Not that this matters, but there is, in fact, a "Substitute II." However, Tom Berenger did not get the return call for the lead. This baby went straight to video and has Treat Williams, of Dead Heat, 1941 and Deep Rising fame, in Berenger's old role. Since it did go straight to video, I imagine Eric Roberts is in it, too.
CRZ, What's up? I read about Al Snow/Head being pulled off the shelf @ Wal-Mart. What the fuck? It's a goddamn mannequin head. No one ever bitches about the hideous monster action figures or the zombie action figures. (Sarcastically)My kid can play with action figures of dead people but goddammit I draw the line with mannequin heads! Why do people want to give wrestling a hard time for? If you don't want your kids to watch it or play with the toys then that's your decision, but this whining and crying about petty things (like head of all things!) has got to stop. I'd like to meet that bitch that wanted the toy pulled. I'd argue with her until she couldn't take it no more and if she pissed me off I'd probably slap the taste out of her mouth. Sorry for the long rant here but people like that get under my skin. Just thought I'd give you my opinion and see what you think about this dumb shit. By the way what's your real thoughts on Russomania.....err Nitro.....I personally think it sucks because if you think about it RAW had great shows but for every great angle Russo came up with there were 2 shitty ones to go along with it. And now Nitro "wrestling" is almost extinct. Is it me or is WWF showing MORE wrestling now? Russo sucks! he needs to write 90210 or Party of Five or something like that and let wrestlers wrestle.
Subject: Wal-Mart and the local news...
I heard about the Al Snow doll "controversy" yesterday morning, then saw the local news (WJW Fox 8 - Cleveland, OH) last night. What I saw repulsed me. They reported about the doll being pulled from Wal-Mart shelves, then talked with abuse counselors to get their reaction. One counselor made note of the "dismembered woman's head" with the words "Help Me" between two guys (Hardcore Holly and Al Snow, also with "Help Me" on *his* head, yet unnoticed by the "news" reporters or counselors), who look like they've done it [dismembered the body]. Basically, he equated the toy with glorifying domestic abuse, and said it made him sick to see this when it appeared the "woman" was crying for help, especially when there are so many abused women who need help.
I do not hold the counselors interviewed responsible for this, because they obviously do not watch wrestling (or at least the WWF), else they would have known about the character of Al Snow. What angers me incredibly is the blatant sensationalism and misrepresentation by the "news" reporters. More wrestling bashing by the media. But more than that, the "news" flexing its influence over the distribution of information. It would have been refreshing to see the "news" report include a profile of the character portrayed as Al Snow. That the head doesn't represent a dismembered woman, rather his source of sanity. He doesn't condone violence against women (my God, where's Jarrett?!?). Sure, that doesn't help clear up the "image" of wrestling, but at least IT'S THE TRUTH.
The "news" disgusts me.
Thanks again for your excellent site.
Paul Gilbert, Jr.
Subject: hey im stupid but
ok your the man, thats why i'm asking you. I suppose i've missed it but how come madusa is in the tournament twice?? yes she good looking, she's a woman and all that and we are still dealing with wcw but do you know why? i didn't remember seeing this a s a double elimination. Thanks in advance if you do take the time to answer my question.
I know there's some storyline behind it, but they really haven't gone too far to SHARE it with us now, have they?
Subject: ECW Television
I use Time Warner Cable in NYC... What Day, Time, and Channel is ECW on TV...
I MUST know what makes you even THINK I would KNOW this.
Let me start by saying I am by no means a Vince McMahan fan. Present success and wrestling deity status aside, I'll always remember him as the guy who used an ongoing war to sell wrestling tickets. That said, the segment on Nitro featuring Nash as Vinny was just sad. Not cuz it poked fun at Vince, but cuz it wasnt even funny. And was it just me, or did that make up job make Nash look like he had undercooked lasagna noodles stuck to his face?
I think Nitro needs a new slogan. Just when you think it can't get any worse...IT DOES...
I got an chain email from some yodel telling me to watch for some dramatic event that will take place on the last Nitro of the century. Something that will "shake up the industry for years to come" When I asked if the sender was a shill for Time Warner s/he just responded "I am affiliated with the company" Have you heard anything about this from anyone else?
Ah well, any show that gives me even a glimpse of Chae isn't a total loss...
DX's re-reformation was to protect HHH from a spiteful promoter, I guess. No real lead in for that but maybe that's what is implied. Funny how when Austin had to battle these kinda odds it made him a face and McMahon a heel but when it happens to Hunter...mebbe that's just a testament to HHH's being over as a heel. I STILL don't buy him as champ tho!
Finally they've finally given Chyna her own music...How much longer will she be coming out with Miss Kitty as a "Jim Henson's Chyna Baby" anyway? It was funny the first time, now it's just kinda goofy.
I was gonna have a PPV party for SS, but the idea of yet another main event with the same three guys a kickin' and a punchin' away jes ain't enuff for me to give up my hard earned shekels. I just hope that the heel turn from Austin turns out to be a swerve. Unless he joins DX, I don't see how it'll work. If Steve was gonna turn heel he shoulda done it at Summer Slam. He coulda gotten po'd at Jesse for countin him out and given him a stunner. That would have gotten him some heel heat fer sure. Ah, well...if I knew anything about wrestling I'd be workin in the biz, not a tappin on this keyboard. Enough rambling. Thanks for the always funny recaps!
Subject: Nitro Report
Hey CRZ. Just wanted to say that I enjoyed your Nitro report this week. Funny stuff all over the place! (specifically, the "THEN HART GETS MEAN!" and the Silent but Violent and not SBD). Have Torrie's breasts replaced Sable's as the leading boobs in your reports( you know, you used to say Mark Mero comes to the ring with Sable's breasts)? It looks that way. But I feel like I have to tell you, the Nitro girls debate won't be settled at your apartment. Why? Because Spice will be busy over at my place! Chew on that one! And when I wake up, I'll have a new car in my driveway!
A guy can dream, can't he?
Keep up the good work!
Tom's Workrate Reports
Subject: Hey Chris
Not sure if this can be considered news or not, I guess as much as anything related to internet writers of wrestling-related subject material goes, but I am no longer writing for Scoops, or recaps, for that matter and instead have a new column at 1wrestling.com, the name of which, by the way, is Supertouch, which I would be ever so delighted if you would be so kind as to push and earn my eternal gratitude in the process, if you care to, or else I shall be forced to keep this interminably long run-on sentence going on and on and on.....
To be continued?
If ANYONE cares about this, please write me NOW and let me know. RIGHT NOW.
Subject: the 9000th email about where Vince shops
Hey yo, Hall said Vince shopped at JC Penny, only he said it with a faux French accent to make it sound you know, fancy.
Like Tar-Jay for Target!
Hey Greg, have you ever seen "Substitute 3?"
Subject: Ernest Miller
Is it just me or did it look like Mr. Miller may have really gotten hurt on Monday versus Lash LeRoux(or however you spell it)? The ridiculous finish and the very quick cut to Bret Hart in the back....seemed fishy to me. Any word on this anywhere?
I haven't seen anything - but who knows?
Subject: Vinnie Mac pay u much?
Why is it that no matter how piss poor(read=lack of wrestling talent)the wwf has,is,& will be....u put them over each & every week. REALITY CHECK(WCW has been in the shitter for the last 8mos(due to bitchoff going pretty much power mad)but the wrestling never really suffered(other than putting up w/hogan)its just they didnt have the story lines & the flash(things they had going for them when the nwo originally hit town. Now over in the wwf u have about 4 real talents(main-eventers) & a few good tag teams(the hardys being the best) other than that its been the same feuds over & over again & lots of t&a pushing the mediocre talent & the ratings up(& believe me & like the t&a). Now that vince & ferrara are in the wcw & quickly changing things around w/10x the talent(old & new) u still sit there & job the wcw week in & week out! When the wcw toys around w.the idea of reforming the outsiders/nwo its old tired & cliche....but when the wwf trots out d/x out of nowhere to compete w/nash & hall its sheer brillance on vinnie macs part(what gives?) As far as big kevs spoof on vinnie mac & stone cold....it was funny(u must be the only person,other than the real promoter who didnt think so) but im sure if that was hhh or hbk doing the same spoof on bitchoff or turner....oh my how hilarious how original! wwf vs wcw has always had one being on top for 6mos or so then the other taking over(pretty much like wrestling match) so now that the playing field is being evened out again why not enjoy both organizations(as i & most real fans do)& hope & pray for a real ppv matching wwf vs wcw against eachothers talents....
BTW,im sure u wont reply to this message but i hope u take it to heart & call it right down the middle every now & then.....
Please tell me WHERE EXACTLY I am "putting over" the WWF in this week's columns. Then I'll try to explain what I wrote to you.
Subject: Deja vu all over again...
Hey, Chris...really enjoy your recaps.
Something about the Filthy Animals and the Revolution angles just seem eerily familiar to me. Two heel stables...at each other's throats...and yet both with similar goals...
Remember when the "Corporate Ministry" was formed?
Are we going to see a "Filthy Revolution?" Or how about the "Revolutionary Animals?"
Subject: Re: Vinnie Mac pay u much?
Your raw piece had nary a discouraging remark or poke about the show(although as usual some amusing jibes for sure)but nothing making the show sound like it sucked in anyway. Yet on the nitro side it was one derogatory barb after another making the casual fan read into it that nothing of importance is going on in this promotion. As a wrestling fan(read=not pro wwf,wcw,ecw )just enjoying the show its annoying to have someone in your capacity not give credit where its due. For ever & a day you & others(myself included)have slammed the wcw for misusing talent(ie:jericho,benoit,malenko,guerro etc)yet now for as many weeks as the P.T.B. have been running the show we have the filthy animal clique & revelution giving us cage matches,last man standing matches,great beat downs etc making guys like benoit/malenko stand out head & shoulders above guys like hogan & savage...i expect more of the same from kanyon,bbb,vampiro & other major talents who havent been given the proper spotlight(& i see major stars erupting much like the rock & others in the wwf. Look at what these guys are doing for stiffs like vicious & luger(this new total package stuff w/liz jarrett etc is very entertaining def his best character) & sid=good lord maybe now he will live up to the promise he was saddled w/lo many years gone by breaking 15yr old chris von erichs neck(remember that one). My god even davey flair is being given something to do(since he isnt quite the wrestler yet)his pyscho w/a crowbar is great! What im saying is even the worst of the new wcw is light years better than it was just 6weeks ago & the good is even better!
Look, I didn't think RAW was any great shakes either, but I think you're reading too much into what I wrote (or didn't write) to throw down the "putting over" card. Yeah, I have bias - that's not exactly a secret (I HOPE!) - but getting on my case because I haven't suddenly experienced an epiphany and now realise that NITRO IS THE BEST EVER is probably an unrealistic expectation of me.
Look at it this way - should we be happy about eating one pound of crap because it's not ten pounds of crap? Bring on some ice cream, dammit! I LIKE ice cream!
Subject: MARRIAGE TO STEPHANIE
PLEASE TELL ME I AM WRONG , I THINK STEPHANIE IS ALREADY MARRIED TO THE UNDERTAKER,IS THIS NOT CORRECT.
Can I get back to you on that?
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
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