I Get Letters
Random highlights from the last two or three weeks of mailbag items - about a hundred or so - did you remember to make a drink first?
Subject: Rock 'n Sock 'n Al?
Rock 'n Sock 'n Al?
That never would have worked.
What needs to happen is, Mankind should go back to the boiler room and create an invincible army of androids to protect he and Rocky from Al and other enemies.
'Cuz, see, then we'd have Rock 'n Sock 'n Robots.
Please for the love of Satan don't let Big Show's father be Paul Bearer. (They're both named Paul. Coincidence? Meet your half-brother Kane! And the WWF officially becomes West Virginia.)
Subject: Just as...
Hardcore Holly has the BEST DROPKICK IN THE BUSINESS, Buff Bagwell has the WORST SWINGING NECKBREAKER IN THE BUSINESS. It is just awful. About two weeks ago, he used it and I thought, "Wow, was that not the worst swinging neckbreaker ever?" Then he did it again and yes, Virginia, it was indeed the worst ever. He broke it out again last night and it was JUST AS BAD!!! He lets go of the victim's head about 1/4 of the way into the turn and the person is forced to just flop.
Other Nitro thoughts... (although I only watched about 45 minutes all told)
Oh, god, not Orndorff. Especially not with a Duke Nukem haircut.
Russo & Ferrera are pals with Nash. When Nash had the book, conspiracy theorists thought he might be intentionally sabotaging WCW. R&F are consistently putting out crap now. Are there even any lines here to read between?
As Tank Abbott approaches the ring, I can't help but think: "Yeah, Baby!", Anvil-style.
If a tag team match is no-DQ, why do the partners stay in the corners? This applied to both feds last night, pretty much one right after the other.
Thats probably enough with the misc. thoughts. As always, I look forward to your suffering for us all in recapping the whole of Nitro and Raw.
Subject: Stephanie & HHH
Perhaps when they're together you can just call them StepHHHanie?
Subject: RAW report (12/13/99)
Hey Chris -
I've been looking forward to Monday night wrestling and your Tuesday reports for several days now... I had to have surgery to get my gall bladder removed this past Friday, and have been sitting around BORED OUT OF MY MIND recovering all weekend.
The little zingers and subtle humor you toss around here and there always gets chuckles out of me, but when you threw out that line about Billy Gunn's children at ringside ("Broke Ass" and "Tired Ass")... I involuntarily laughed out loud to the point where one of the stitches on my abdomen started bleeding slightly! Ouch!
After swallowing a pain pill or twelve and settling down a bit, the thought of a lawsuit obviously popped into my head (hell, if that bitch got three mil. for spilling McDonals's COFFEE in her lap...). Being the swell guy that I am... I figure I'll just sue WrestleLine, instead of you directly. Can you be a pal, and pass along the address for WrestleLine's legal representation? Thanks a ton!
Keep up the good work,
Subject: Ryder quote
"This isn't about WCW vs the WWF. It's not about NITRO vs RAW. This is about the outrageous actions of a man who doesn't care who he offends, or what he does as long as it attracts attention to his product. Vince [deleted] refuses to accept responsibility for any of the criticism that has been leveled against him, and seems only concerned about ratings."
Russo or McMahon? You decide!
Mark Q. Chumly
Subject: RAW's original lineup
MY question to YOU is - if Stephanie and Hunter hadn't cooked up all these matches at the last minute, what would we have had on the show tonight? Well, fear not - my sources have revealed the original lineup to me:
Yeah, and RAW still would have won in the ratings.
Subject: RSPW YEAR END AWARDS
You need to make the document shorter. It's just not worth downloading.
I'll take that under advisement.
Subject: What the ****?
het CRZ i guess the almighty Vinny Russo(aka Vince the Rusty one and Ed
kiss my Ferrera have once again have run out of ideas!!! What a creative
bunch of CRAP!!! The
NWO once again BOLONWO!!! BIG POOCHIEE, SCOTT I CAN"T TALK IN ENGLISH
HALL , JEFF DOUBLESLAPNUTZ, and BRET THE MINTMAN CLARKE what a joke!!!
Walter BOZ Boswell
Subject: Half-Speed Smackdown Comments
Hmmph. I wasn't going to comment on Smackdown, out of spite to UPN (which
is neither paramount nor united, and is stretching things by calling itself
(PS: Like UPN, these comments tend to suck.)
Now Evil Steph is wearing a skirt! Feel the evil sexuality!
Wow, Y2J HAS come to save the day!
the music fires up and out walk THAT SLUT CHYNA & ERNEST MILLER.
Stephanie decides to book Tori in a match with...Stephanie. Hunter
asks what the hell's up with THAT
Stephanie says it's time to introduce her REAL opponent... TORI v.
Snow making the "anti-Florida State" hand signal, I'm guessing - or
he's a Sharks fan.
Are the Stooges over, or do I just hate the Outlaws THAT MUCH?
EDGE (you think?) v. CHRISTIAN - setup for this match is the same
as the Hardy/Hardy bout.
so the Outlaws are left alone with all the grapes and cheese they
when he fails to comply, she SMACKS him one. Even his hat fell off!
Now the centipede!
Finally, MANKIND appears wheeling a shopping cart full of weapons.
Aaron "Andrew" Thomas
Subject: Something interesting.
I checked over at Wrestleline at about 3:10, and it credited Rick Scaia for your reports. And I don't think they can complain about you being "totally biased" when you didn't praise or rip into the NWO. Way to go on the awards.
Subject: your review
I just wanted to say that it is good to be able to read something on Wrestleline that is not completely biased. Thanks for giving just a review and not your opinions.
"Not completely biased?" This guy must have caught me on a bad week!
Subject: Is this a Raw Report Report?
Hopefully this will entertain you on some level. If not, I would more than
willing to converse with you about
the state of Hardy Boyz in a more standard format.
QUICK QUOTES: WWFE 14 3/16 (- 2 5/16) - trading at all-time lows, by the
way. Not that that MEANS anything, despite what other folks will try to have
you believe, wink wink
TONIGHT: We're not gonna tell you anything about it in the Walker hype spot
Hunter promises that tonight it'll be a very RAW Christmas
WILL be a very RAW Christmas
Ahh, so the reason the Helmsleys are hard on THESE guys is because they
were GROOMSMEN at the wedding! Of COURSE!
"Terri" chant by the wrestling-knowledgeable crowd.
Have I mentioned the pretty green patina given the chyron scaffolding
And as far as you, Stephanie, the gall you have to defame the good name of
Santa Claus with a hat like that,
Is she really holding you back? Is she holding you back?
"Triple H, please, please, I've been a good boy all year, PLEASE tell me
it's with you!"
How cool and leggy is Stephanie?
Because I follow MY simple set of rules that I call the three I's. Yes,
that's right - intensity, integrity and intelligence.
Viscera's de facto face, who'da thunk it?
top-rope missile dropkick takes him to the mat!
D-Von works the crowd and counts off the three commandments.
The Acolytes regard all this with a small measure of confusion.
MANKIND v. SANTA CLAUS in a Boiler Room Brawl - "Wait, did I just get my
ass kicked by the Mean Street Posse? That's embarrassing!" Spying Santa,
Mankind walks over and tells Santa he's gonna turn his back so he can leave
and win the match. "Don't worry, I'll put ya over!"
that was pretty funny, I'm ashamed to admit. (4:26)
I am SHOCKED that the ref isn't Tim White.
The winning guy gets an IC title shot Thursday. "May the breast women win!"
Stephanie seems annoyed with this, snapping at the Posse yet again.
What's the deal with this ad?
BB and TERRI are out for the next match
VAL VENIS v. HARDCORE HOLLY (with Crash and Scale Holly) in a Holiday
Topless Top-Rope match - "Hello, ladies! You know something ladies, you
women are a lot like Christmas trees, you know, you smell good, you're
pretty to look at, but you never really feel special until I plug it in and
light you up!" Wait, is he a face or a heel this week?
Ross makes fun of Lillian Garcia for saying "opponent and challenger"
BB, it seems that you only have one article of clothing in which to
And what's that old Christmas carol, 'Do You See What I See?' No you don't!
Because you're a bunch of idiots, and I'm the only one that gets the show!"
LARRY KING & MICHAEL HAYES (weird that we don't see them until the last
quarter hour, ain't it?
Grandmaster with a Dunno Suplex on Abs and Scotty 2 Hottie hits the
TREBLE H & STEPHANIE McMAHON-HELMSLEY both appear - looks like their
recliner has been set up.
Aaron "Andrew" Thomas
Come on Chris. Last night's show was a lot better than I've seen in a while. We ALL know that you are a WWF mark, so why don't you let someone else provide some commentary (at least something that is a little more objective). I think we're going to see a rejuvinated Sting return in a month to help Goldberg combat the NwO.
Seriously, you're looking forward to that?
Let's try a different angle on Nitro, Todd...
But let's pretend the NWO angle (which, for me, did nothing but kill some pretty good earlier promos cut by Nash and Piper) doesn't exist. How do you feel about what's left?
What do you think about Disco Inferno joining the Mafia?
How do you feel about Hugh Morrus' crazy old pop with his hospital gown?
David Flair's gothic girlfriend from Peoria?
The Artist formerly known as Prince Iaukea?
Are these things that make you want to tune in to Nitro week after week? Do they WORK for you?
I think last night I REALLY could have ripped into any or (almost) all of these, AND been able to reasonably justify it, AND have most of the readers agreeing with me. But, in the interests of trying to cut back on putting my personal opinion out there, I went pretty sedate last night, trying instead to mostly report what happened and let the reader arrive at their own conclusions.
In fact, I've gotten SEVERAL letters thanking me for my "impartial" (!) look at things last night. Don't worry, I'm as surprised as you are - maybe they're all first time readers. ;-)
And maybe THAT'S part of the problem - too often, people will PERCEIVE bias based on their reactions to previous reports - it's difficult to take a single show report in a vacuum, and I realise that - but you might want to think about it.
Or maybe not. It IS just a freakin' television show report, after all. ;-)
Hey, A few weeks ago on Nitro, Chris Benoit won a 3 way match over Sting adn jarrett that was supposed to give him a world title match against the champ the night after Starcade. What happened to that?? I thought Russo was brought in to give WCW storylines some continuity.
Of course, we saw it on the next THUNDER!, so oh well...
Subject: what did you actually think of nitro?
you didnt seem to bash it as bad as one of your other columns (i think the one with jim ross which probally was your best yet.) i cant say im biased against wcw since i liked it since 1996 but to me its just laughable crap and it just keeps getting worst. i mean from vince russo saying ASSHOLE to piper in front of PIPERS KID then nash saying 2 shits and a bull. then more swears, more gay angles, and to top the piece of stinking shit, we have the nWo. the nWo? what the fuck! these guys were cool back when they first started BUT THIS IS JUST PLAIN STUPID! LET THE DAMN ANGLE DIE ALREADY! AND WHY DOES RUSSO HAVE TO STEAL EVERYTHING FROM EVERYONE? i guess its all logic or whatever.
Subject: NWO and other NIck at Night reruns
Vince and Co. are sure pulling out all the old angles, aren't they? I thought he wanted to take over there so he could do things better, not run all the used up angles over again.
What I really want to bitch about, however, is Bret Hart. He didn't get over as a face, or a heel, or a face, or a heel, so he and WCW used his brother's death to get him over as a face. He had the whole deal about not being able to decide whether to wrestle anymore or not. He showed how serious he was about bringing dignity back to WCW, and even had a big tribute match with Chris Benoit in the very arena where Owen died. In short, he did everything he possibly could to get sympathy as the brother of the dead wrestler. Then, with as big of a pop as he has gotten since his WWF days, he won the World title. Immediately, he turns without any reason or sense, into a member of the new NWO. I used to really enjoy Hart, and was as upset as anybody about stagnating in WCW, but now I just hope he retires and goes home to Canada as soon as possible.
I know that it is not only silly but also a waste of time for me to get my knickers in a twist over anything Bob Ryder says. At this point, his shtick is both tired and predictable to me. Much like the Road Dogg's. Having said that, I was eager to see how he would respond to last night's Nitro, and its repeated four-letter bombs. After his red-faced tirade over Miss Kitty's display at Armageddon, I just knew that Ryder would have to tuck his tail between his legs on this one. Nitro went too far, right Bob? Alas, no. His explanation? It was the censors fault. The profanity was all scripted and the censors knew in plenty of time to bleep the words. Blame them, not the WCW, not Nash, not Russo.
Is he fucking kidding me? It was the censors problem? Because the swearing was scripted? Un-fucking-believable. I'm surprised he didn't just go ahead and blame the whole thing on Vince MacMahon. But taking him at face value, I'll just have to assume that loads of scripted profanity on a relatively well-watched basic cable program is perfectly acceptable, but a ONE-SECOND glimpse of female breasts on a $30 pay-per-view event is one of the signs of the apocalypse. MacMAHON IS THE DEVIL!!! RAW IS PORN!!!
Look...I know that I'm violating my own rule of not letting this shill bother me. The guy is not only a WCW apologist, but he is also an employee. Fine. I understand. But I found this particular bout of hypocrisy to be just more than I could stomach. I minded neither the nudity at Armageddon, nor the profanity on Nitro. I'm hardly a prude. But Ryder needs to call a spade a spade, and admit that Nitro crossed a well-established line, as Armageddon did. But Nitro didn't just cross a line. It did so with probably ten times the viewing audience. After all, no one had to pay to watch Nitro. Thus, by Ryder's own (whack) standards, it must have corrupted ten times the number of young minds. I figure it is a lot easier for a young boy to imitate Kevin Nash's vocabulary than it is for him to imitate Miss Kitty's physique.
If there is anything worse than self-riteous moralizing, it is SELECTIVE self-riteous moralizing.
Any thoughts on the matter? I'm curious to know your opinion on the matter, if you get the time.
P.S. After last night's Raw, and next week's Nitro, I was going to send you a comparison of the events each league hosted here in Houston.
So did you like the NWO angle this time or what. I thought it was played out quite well.
I'm "cautiously pessimistic."
Subject: The Canadian Blondes/The Hardys/Test. . .A theory
Okay, I've thought this over, and it makes perfect sense to me. See if you follow me.
5 guys always hanging out, best of friends, and working matches with each other almost exclusively.
Test = Diesel
Jeff Hardy = Shawn Michaels
Edge = Razor Ramon
Matt Hardy = HHH
Christian = 1-2-3 Kid
What I say therefore is we have ourselves here a new group of gentlemen who should heretofore be known as "The New Clique."
Email me back, tell me what ya think.
Thanks, Kelvin C.
I think we should let these guys shine on their own, rather than try to make them "the New __________."
Subject: WCW Nitro put yourself over report
Quit marking for yourself, nobody but prepubescent zitfaced imbeciles and you care about if you are over or not. Just give us the rundown, Poindexter. We're all well-acquainted with your aversion to WCW. If and when I want to hear you gushing a squirter in your britches about the WWF, I'll click on the RAW is Wack report. You are that company's wet dream.. lots of exposure, free of charge. I just want to know what the fuck happened while my girlfriend had on Ally McBeal. Save all the cutesy shit for the WWF side, and like many have said to you before, if you hate WCW so much, then don't fucking re-cap them.. I'm sure somebody else out there could give it to us straight.
"..One more "WCW Mayhem: the Music" promo - oh, give it up, guys - it ain't sellin'"
Most anybody that buys a wrestling cd of any promotion is a total douche bag and has got to be the industry's dream rube.
We all know you have at least two copies of the most recent WWF cd, and WOW, the WWF's cd is SELLING more than triple of WCW's! Stamford must reach more mainstream white trash dirtbags than Atlanta, go figure. Too bad they haven't figured out how to have their options traded successfully on a public exchange.
Happy New Year.
Scott La Rock
And here I thought Scott La Rock was dead!
Subject: Dear WWF mark, I like Wrestleline, but YOU SUCK!!!
Here is the problem with your criticism of WCW for redoing old material......WWF always has and always will do the same thing. Examples: How many times have we seen Undertaker and Paul Bearer go from enemies to allies and back to enemies? How about the reforming of DX? (oooohh, that was exciting). Hey, how about another Mankind-Rock feud, oh wait, they are the R&S connection again, no wait...., hey Mr McMahon is a nice guy....no, I guess he is a jerk....hold on....I see, Shane is the jerk....no wait Shane is the nice guy.....so Vince is a nice guy again now???!!!!....who cares? Does anyone reuse catchphrases like the Rock and Stone Cold? Nope. Is it old, and was Stone Cold getting boring right before he got hurt? Yes. His injury was the best thing that could happen to his career, can you guess why Chris? Come on little guy.....take a little-wittle guessy-wessy (pretend you are being talked to in a very condescending and sarcastic baby-voice for that last line). THAT'S RIGHT, IF STONE COLD IS ABLE TO RETURN TO WRESTLING, HIS COMEBACK WILL BE A RATINGS WINNER!!! It worked before and it will work again. Got it moron?
No, not every comback or revisit with the past will be entertaining, but often times they can be, especially if you bring back the product updated and revised, and if you improve upon its failings in the past (kind of like Japanese electronics makers improving on U.S. products that already exist).
Why am I so pissed in general at you, and why do I wish that you suffer a writer's block the likes of which renders you useless except to write about angles involving those refreshing young gals, Moolah and May Young? Simple, this past Nitro really was good, entertaining, and I flipped to WWF only during the commercials because WCW held my interest. Yet you still could not cut WCW any slack. That is why you are biased. Go Brisco and Patterson! How about the Sarge or HBK as commish, give me more of that Jim Cornette NWA crap from a couple years back, you are so right, the WWF is ALL about innovation!!!! I mean, look at the size of that screen!!! WCW does not have a screen that big.....hey, do you think Vince is having inadequacy probs? Hey, are those Hos coming to the ring! No way! When did that former Nation reject think of that? Think Val will open with "helloooo ladies"? Hey its the Bossman, no thats Ray Traylor, no its the Big Bossman, no thats....who gives a shit, he sucks whatever you call him. AND THATS THE BOTTOM LINE, CAUSE STONE COLD USED TO SAY SO!!!!
I honestly can't figure out why people get so unhappy sometimes...
Subject: nitro recap
II'll say this...your writing makes the ending of nitro sound dramatic...
probably the big letters:-)
i thought that was a great ending to nitro, it sure fooled us while we were watching, we did not see this coming. i think it was a good storyline. keep up the good recaps. just wanted to say thumbs up to the direction nitro is going, i dont turn to the wwf as much anymore. how many times can i watch the rock come out and say the same lines week after week. hey, i know wcw gets a lot of bad feedback from their shows, but how many other shows on tv are really that entertaining anyways.
give them time.
If the ratings continue to drop, there won't be much time left to give them...
Subject: Challenge to CRZ
I have a challenge for you guys. Come up with a picture of "The Gambler" From WCW. He was only on WCW Saturday night once or twice. You will gain my ever-lasting respect if you can. Thanks...
I'm here for you, yo.
Thanks to DDT Digest, check out this old Worldwide report:
Bow to the master :)
Hey. Good recaps the past three weeks. I just thought you might be interested in this:
Jeff Jarrett (and anyone else watching monitors backstage) wouldn't be able to see himself on the monitor for 7 seconds because of the delay. So from now on, as long as the shot of someone watching a monitor doesn't last for more than 7 seconds, you know that they actually wouldn't be seeing themselves, and that the shot is plausible.
I can dig it!
Subject: Nitro...and Raw
OK...the NWO fucking sucks...Kevin Nash is still a bitch. But....I gotta admit I was suprised when they reformed the NWO...I just didn't think they'd do something so damned stupid. Oh...and did anyone else notice that the Mean Street Posse's pants didn't match their tux jackets. Black jackets and blue pants don't go together guys.
I have a question for you. Between all 4 members of the new NWO.. (Not the old NWO, they are completely different, and you might be a WWF mark if you suggest otherwise.) How many intercontinental titles have they all held? It has to be close to 20. I would suggest the title of "Kliq of former IC champs", instead of NWO. It just has less baggage. Thanks for your always stellar recaps.
Subject: RAW recap & video games
quote you from MATT HARDY (with Terri) & EDGE v. JEFF HARDY (with Terri) & CHRISTIAN Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Christian while Edge hits an "I dunno" on Jeff.
"I dunno" is a Reverse Black Tiger Bomb or Iconoclasm. Funaki did one earlier this year on Sunday Night Heat.
I play video games.
Subject: WCW Champ
PIPER is the CHAMPION. Silverman gave the count with PIPER covering GOLDBERG.
Subject: Santa Claus? Xanta Klaus? Not another flashback.......
Instead of the Varsity Club, WCW should have made the Iron Shiek and Nikolai Volkoff the mystery partners of Hacksaw Duggan. It would fit in perfect these days. I think when I die, if there is a hell, then I will be watching Sid vs Kevin Nash matches for eternity. Clarence Mason? Bertha Faye? Paul Orndorff? What's next, Cpl. Kirschner and Outback Jack? I think I would rather watch recycled WCW than recycled WWF (and not even good WWF at that). Who knows, maybe Bastion Booger will join the NWO, and Lord Alfred Hays will be the new color guy on Nitro (considering Fat Tony's work, that might not be a bad idea). Your reports are still the greatest, and thank god Al Snow finally beats the Rock and his recycled schtick.
Subject: Making the nWo Interesting
I was bored, so I figured I'd pass this along:
There is one way that Russo's "new nWo" might be a little interesting: if they're not trying to take over WCW, but to ruin pro wrestling as a "sport," making it totally entertainment. THERE'S your work-shoot angle.
So instead of trying to take over the promotion like they did 2 1/2 years ago, they attempt to eliminate all the wrestling. They have the three major belts, and threw out the TV title, so after they capture the Crusierweight and Hardcore belts somehow, no WCW titles would exist. Oklahoma would be unmasked as Ferrara, and The Powers that Suck would try to turn Nitro into a sitcom.
The other wrestlers would immediately- and I mean IMMEDIATELY- not a year later- take offense to this and retaliate. It might be interesting for a bit, and one could certainly accuse TPTS and The Outsiders of wanting to do away with actual workrate in real life.
Of course Hogan will probably return next week and win the strap from Hart, and we can live through 1999 again. Excuse me, I'm going to go run a hose from my tailpipe through my driver side window.
ah, come on. you must have liked it, otherwise you wouldn't have bothered to type out the part where that weird voice says "n W o" so creatively.
Subject: a question.
What is the deal with wrestling recappers calling Rockbottom-type moves
I'll include a picture. This bothers me slightly every time I read it in a recap, and you happen to be the straw that breaks my non-complaining back. If you can explain why I'm wrong and everyone else is right, then please do so. But if life has taught me anything, it's that the majority is always wrong.
See, THAT'S a "judo uranage," while the Rock Bottom is a "sports entertainment uranage." I think we all stole the terminology from some Japanese guy and it's stuck - even if most everybody else insists on misspelling it so it looks like a pissin' move. ;-)
Subject: Stupid Wrestling Stuff
Two things I wanted to tell you: First, the first three times Nash said "Shit" on Nitro, it wasn't muted in Chicago for some reason. The second thing is kinda stupid, but if anyone would want to hear it, it would be you.
A few weeks back on Smackdown, during the whole contract signing for Armageddon, I was expecting Triple H to wipe his ass with the contract. That reminded me of the movie "Airheads," where Brendan Fraser's character Chaz (who looks a little like Triple H) wiped his ass with his record contract. After thinking about it, I noticed a few more similarities between DX and that movie. X-Pac looks a whole lot like Rex (Steve Buscemi). The only song that the Lone Rangers played in that movie was called "Degenerated." I couldn't think of any similarities between the New Age Outlaws and Pip (Adam Sandler) though. I know that that's just way too interestin' but I thought you might like a change of pace of people saying "you suck wwf sucks wcw rules" or some crap like that.
Come on Chris, you know that was the best Nitro in, what, 2 years, now? The Piper thing sucked and, though, I love Buff, this "angle" is weak. Norman is just funny- there's no two ways about it. but a new nWo with Bret Hart? Priceless!! I love Bret and have for years - He's pretty much like Sting - in my book, he can do no wrong. Still, overall, that was the best offering they have had in a VERY long time. Question is, can they keep it up?? I think not.
Tasha N. Williams
I didn't hear from Tasha this week...wonder if she's tired of it already. ;-)
Subject: east coast
I JUST WANTED TO WRITE YOU TO TELL YOU THAT I LIVE IN NC AND THE 8 O'CLOCK NITRO WAR VERRRRRRRY NOT EDITED FOR LANGUAGE AND ALL OF THE "SH**" BOMBS WERE DROPPED. THANKS
nWo 4 LiFe
I think I got the most mail on this - the deal was it wasn't censored in the live broadcast, but on the replay - and on all the West Coast showings - the mute was in full effect.
Subject: Hye CRZ
Just a couple things came to my mind as I read your RAW report and Nitro for Dec 20. First off, they are making Steph and HHH like TPB in WCW. U notice how they meet with wrestlers and order them around? Also the Posse is kinda like Hennig, Shane and Creative Control as they fetch the wrestlers needed. Just a point I wanted to pass along.
Also, why is everyone so mad about the ending at Starrcade? They said the nWo shouldve reformed then for their 30 bucks. But the WHOLE point of it was to make fun @ Survivor 97. And Bret Hart was playing the part of HBK, the "not knowing" person. Then remember the next night on RAW HBK ripped Hart totally and made it seem like he knew. So thats what WCW gave us, Hart acting like he didnt know, then turning the next night. I dunno it made sense to me.
Did YOU pay to see Starrcade?
Subject: Raw Report
I would have agreed with you, too! Big Show retaining was a (nice) surprise...
Subject: 12/20 Nitro
Nitro wasn't censored on the East Coast until about half way through, when they started to bleep "shit" and "jackass". It's pretty funny that they let Nash swear all he wants, but no one else can.
By the way, does ANYONE care that the nWo is "back together"? I sure as hell don't. Later.
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit!"
-<>- Ryan Eckenroth -<>-
Subject: Texas Rangers
I attended the WWF Raw is War show in Houston on Monday night. I was lucky enough to get seats pretty darn close to ring side and was mere feet away from Kelvin Cato (Houston Rockets center seeing a lot of playing time now that Olajuwon is down and out).
Throughout the night many children approached Kelvin for his autograph. At one point there were a few kids waiting for his autograph when that Walker Texas Ranger fellow cut his way through the line of kiddos. I took the time to yell out my feelings to the guy about how the autographs were for the children and during this holiday time he needs to think of the kids... stuff like that. Anyway: he still cut and even stood alongside Cato to get his picture taken. I continued on with my rant and after he left I was approached by a few people who did not have kind words to say to me. It seems the Texas Ranger was Steve Austin's brother.
I also attempted to shamelessly get my sign on camera, but I do not think it worked. The sign said: CRZ is biased.
So it goes.
Thanks for writing the updates and all... they are much appreciated.
Hi CRZ - great recaps this week, but in true "I don't believe in rhetorical questions" fashion - I proceed to answer this:
"How does Hennig do that gum swat? " Well - the trick is to spit up at the same time that you expel the gum, giving a slight upward trajectory to the gum. I recommend 5%, but that's using Aussie gum, your stuff may be lighter.......... like your beer (water) OR - if you prefer, just work on bringing the swatting hand around REAL quick!
Anyway - congrats for keeping the site rockin' - keep up the great work! Merry Christmas to you and yours - and a great New Year too!
For the record, I got Adrian's record before Rick said pretty much the same thing in OO.
Subject: Recap Reader
I guess I'm just a sarcastic dude...dude.
Subject: WCW and more idiocy
Hey Chris, it just dawned on me the upcoming angle for WCW. Piper will help the wrestlers form a union and then Disco Inferno because of Mr. Maranera, will help the mob take over the union. And in their usual idiotic fashion, the NWO will join forces with the mob to control WCW. Pretty far-fetched, huh? It is one of the stupidest things I could think of, so undoubtedly it is right around the corner. Watch for Hogan and Ultimate Warrior to come back and act as the Untouchables. Ugh. Here's hoping they actually start wrestling again in the New Year, a resolution for WCW, if you will.
Is robin a girl anme
Well, ask Robin Williams - no, wait...don't. Ask Robin Gibb..NO! I mean, ask Robin Leach - DAMMIT! Okay, it IS a girl's name. Fortunately, it's my MIDDLE name...
Subject: its time for a change!!!
i'm so orr but WWF has been so corny lately, i can't stomach it anymore. the McMahon/Hemsley era is the worst idea they ever came up with. who cares about Stephanie?! nobody wants to see them. WE WANT VINCE!!! WE WANT AUSTIN!!!! how all of a sudden, DX is unbeatable when before they were getting their asses kicked every damn week. the Outlaws totally suck, i'm sick and tired of Road Dogg'd same tired-ass dialogue every week. when was the last time they won a match fair and square? why the hell are the matches 5mins. and the promos are 20mins. they talk to damn much. X-pac is a joke, this whole thing with Kane is so boring. in reality, Kane can kick his ass under 2 mins. but the writers think for some laime-ass reason that's a legitament grudge. i think that's a bunch of B.S. i don't need to watch them anymre because i know what's gonna happen already. they used to be so much fun to watch, now the only thing cool about them is Rakishi!!!!! the ladies need to stop stripping and start fighting!!! nothing but sluts in their. at least in ECW, the women are slutty but they can whip some ass. in reality, Tori can defend herself against X-punk but they rather use that dansle in distress gimic which is so weak!!! i love ECW!!! they're is no better action out there. if they WWF personalities in their, they would be on top no question. now NWO is back, WWF better watch they're back because with their pathetic storylines, their mediocre matches and their boring ol' catch phrases, not even The Rock can save them by himself. he's all they have but they refuse to jerk him every week which is also pissing me off. maybe a loss of ratings will be good for them to realize there ridiculous antics presently going on is B.S.
The Christmas Eve ECW on TNN was AWESOME - no pun intended.
Subject: Youre dumb
I JUST READ YOUR SMACKDOWN RESULTS ON WWW.WRESTLELINE.COM AND THOUGHT THEY WERE BAD!!!!! HOW COME U KEEP CALLING CHYNA A, U KNOW WHAT....SHE COULD BEAT U ANYDAY....THE ONLY BELT U COULD WIN IS THE WOMENS CHAMPIONSHIP....BAD DAY....YOU...ARE....STUPID!!!!!!
I defer to your obvious superior skillset.
Subject: amazing turn of events
the thrill of the ever unwinding mind blowing turn of events taking place the end of this era and on to a new millennium is actually addicting to watch the tangled web unravel. i only wish i could afford see a couple of marches in person. What is sexual chocolate up to. i wonder if he or de lo brown would hook a old sista of 48 on her 49th birthday up to courtisy trip all expenses paid for january 29th while i can still see. I have macular degeneration in both eyes and diabetes
Subject: David, Daphne, and Crowbar....
Okay what we have here is:
a couple of kids and their wacky adventures which involve a car, a group of weird looking thugs, and a guy who used to be a vampire.
Of the kids, one is named Daphne, one looks like a stoner, and the other is one of the most annoying creatures on Earth with very little resemblance to his namesake.
I get the feeling this will all lead up Scrappy Flair and the Gang unmasking the Mysterious Blue Blazer to be The Ultimate Warrior who is really *GASP* Arn Anderson(!!!) in disguise! "I was trying to scare off all those blasted sports entertainers and I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"
The sad part is I don't even know if I'm being sarcastic anymore.... especially since Turner owns Hanna Barbara.
I wish they'd use Taka's theme music, instead of the Kaientai music. Taka's music rocks.
They're both pretty cool.
I saw the best of AWA III on directv and although it was a bit fun to see some of the old school wrestling and cheap, cheap promos being cut, it definitely was a bit depressing to see that THAT was what the people behind the special consider to be the "best". As your god and mine Netcop would say, it was mildly recommended.
Subject: An Idea.....
Anyway,back to my point,if it does still work,do you think it's possible that you could use that to get Russo or Ferrarra's office?Maybe tell them BRING BACK THE TV TITLE or BRING BACK THE CRUISERWEIGHT DIVISION or FIRE KONNAN..it might not be a coincidence that Bischoff was replaced soon after this was discovered....hmm....oh,and in case you print this letter,here's the Cat-Bo number for anyone too lazy to go look through your reports like I am right now......damn it's hard to find....okay,I can't find it,I failed,but YOU CAN SUCCEED!!!! http://www.crz.net/monday/ is YOUR URL TO INFAMY!!!
Keep slash banner free and keep your recaps somewhat entertaining,
That number was 1-800-443-7174, okay.
Subject: offended asian
for some reason...
Ummm....well, it's good to feel strongly about something, I guess...but really, they've done worse with Kaientai along the racial lines on Heat...where were you THEN?
Subject: Piper transcription/CRZ's namesake?
Piper on Nitro: "This is the last time - listen, hang on - this is the last time I'm gonna do anything for anyone - any - if you ever want a real deal fighter, man, you give me a call, but if you want somethin' um - to come down here and run around like an idiot, you - it ain't me - it ain't me, (?)"
He said "It ain't me, babe."
I only point out this most irrelevant detail because Roddy was quoting a Bob Dylan song ("It Ain't Me, Babe"). I only point *that* out because Dylan is sort of your namesake, isn't he? His real name is Robert Zimmerman, and you're Christopher Robin Zimmerman, so ... there's gotta be some sort of connection, right? Winnie the Pooh + Bob Dylan = Christopher Robin Zimmerman? ::shrugs::
Alright, forget I ever brought it up.
I'm really more of a Winnie the Pooh + Ethel Merman combo. We have the same singing voice already - give me a few more years and a hundred pounds and I'll be THERE, baby.
Subject: What the hell?
Who is this Buzzkill guy? Whoever he is, he doesn't deserve to be taking the "ultra-cool" catchphrases and music of Road Dogg. Note sarcasm.
Sarcasm? Could you DESCRIBE IT for me?
Subject: i wrestling
i like the rock and testand thirple h
Good for you! *I* like WebTV users who email me!
Subject: The "Shocking" Scott Steiner Turn!
First of all, let me introduce myself. I'm Adam. I've read each of your recaps and am a regular reader of the old <slash>. Congrats on a unique, funny, comfortable site.
Now, I wanted to discuss this Scott Steiner retirement/nWo turn. Anybody that was actually surprised by it, well, I won't call them a jackass, but they're not the sharpest arrow in the quiver if they indeed claim to be a "smart" wrestling fan. One, WCW pushed the turn so BLATANTLY on the air earlier tonight, I mean, come ON! They worked up that over-stroking video package to the point of me wanting to throw something at my TV. Have they ever done that for anyone, let alone someone that was not even dying or anything? Then, he gives the interview. Wow, he's a good actor, he even turned on the tears. Guess Shannon Tweed showed him how to do that when he was schmoozing with 'Wood in Hollywood. But then, they allow a WORKED interview to overlap onto this segment that they're trying to push as a doggone, heartbreaking, genuine SHOOT, brah. That was the real tipper. Finally, they do that incredibly lame "Scott [Hall, but not really] will come, I promise!" bit. Please. By the end of the show, well, the suspense was totally gone. Good television.
On the other side, you could've seen it coming a mile away if you pay any attention to the half-baked ramblings of online personality Mark Madden. Let's see, he's the ONLY one of the so-called "reporters" to "report" that Steiner would be coming on Monday to announce his retirement. Why didn't Scherer/Meltzer/Keller check with their sources on that shit? Then, on markmadden.com in a recent (12/22-3-4?) column about Ric Flair, he lets the cat FULLY out of the bag that the nWo would be increasing its ranks by one with a "classic heel" in the very near future. Hmmmm... two Madden exclusives... hmmmm... nWo... hmmmm... Scott Steiner... I can't believe the major news dudes didn't pick up on any of this "worked news" bullshit.
So, it was fairly obvious that Steiner was not anywhere near retirement before the night started, and then they had to go and make it suck. This isn't Wheel of Fortune booking, by any means. I'd call it Wheel of Fish booking, and there's nothing in that freakin' box (UHF reference, if you're cool enough :-). But anyway, just thought I'd drop my thoughts in on this, because, well, you have a responsibility, as a WWF Biased Reporter, to let people know that all of this was good T.V., but it also was blatantly not afraid insult intelligent wrestling fans.
Take care, and keep up the entertaining work!
Subject: Big Show over
Isn't funny that when they put the Big Show against an opponent that is a believable contender, he gets a big pop? The crowd was going nuts way before Mankind made his appearance to punk out Triple H. It's kind of sad that they'll be taking the belt off him in the near future. It seems they have finally got the crowd behind him.
Over on Nitro, wasn't the Scott Steiner angle the most transparent thing ever? You know as soon as a wheelchair comes in, it's all bullshit. Now we'll be treated to more of his wonderful promos and catch phrases. They're going to ruin the damn nWo angle before it even gets some steam.
Subject: wcw or wwf
Was it my imagination last night or was wcw playing the road dogg's music when his brother buzzkill walked out ? I wasn't looking at the tv at the time but i thought i was watching wwf and wanted to belt out O YOU DIDN'T KNOW? when Brad Armstrong walked out!!!
Yup. You know, I shouldn't have to spell out EVERY little thing EVERY week...or is that too whiny of me?
wcw shows anymore are at a all time low
Richard and Wanda
Subject: Russo/Ferraro Work
I have never written to a wrestling web sight, but I have been running this theory over for a few months, and I can't remember reading it anywhere else. I'll give the idea, and then the supporting argument. Are Vince Russo and Ed Ferraro plants by Vince McMahon in the WCW?
Bear with me on this one. First we have Vince Russo bursting on the internet scene to the masses that follow this site. I have followed wrestling since my grandfather took me to matches at the local high school to see Bruno Samartino, Jumping Johnny Defazio, George The Animal Steel and so on, and have followed the internet pages for the past three years. After Russo's internet breakout, a few weeks later he and Ferraro leave for the WCW. I know that I was stunned, first that they were leaving the WWF when they were at the top of the ratings, and because I couldn't believe that McMahon would leave his company that vulnerable. Also, we have the WWF wishing them well on the WWF web site. I won't go into all of the contradicting statements about why they left, but I really believe that they are a plant.
Consider this, WCW has always been known for the wrestling part of the show. The story lines for the past year have been horrible, but they always maintained good wrestling matches. Now enter Russo, they go to the crash TV, and de-emphasize the wrestling. They re-introduce the NWO story line, and we get run ins and beat downs that everyone has seen before. They force Brett Hart to re-visit the "Screw Job", make him turn heel, and follow the adult theme story lines that were one of the reasons that Hart denounced the WWF. They introduce the female-male wrestling matches, Medusa wins the cruiser weight title, the TV title is discarded, the Mexican and Japanese wrestlers are taken off of TV, and cat fights between the Nitro Girls. We see that the Turner production people are having problems running the show in the WWF manner. All of this could cause WCW do start to lose their devoted fans, the fans that want to see actual wrestling..
Now move forward to the future, say six months. Nitro is now a two hour show, WCW is still in second place, taking a beating each week. Russo and Ferraro have been fired, and make a triumphant return to WWF.
Lets review the damage:
1. Rating have not improved, and WCW has moved away from their strength
and have starting losing their core fans.
McMahon has hurt Ted Turner in the wallet, but also where it hurts the most. He has ruined WCW as a wrestling promotion.
In closing I found this quote attributed to Vince Russo on the internet from Rajah's WWF News:
"The only person who can turn WCW around is Vince McMahon"
I have a number of additional supporting arguments, but I know that you receive a lot of email, and I am interested in any thought that you might have.
Donald M. Kane Jr.
I get at least one of these a week. You almost have to think that even if it ISN'T the case, McMahon could easily - retroactively - make it happen. And I'm sure it'd sell, too. And I'd probably bitch about it. And people would probably misunderstand me completely and accuse me of bias. Yup.
Subject: Now I've seen everything.
outside, whereupon they resume THEIR brawl while they stand in the ring watching with amusement while referee "Blind" Brady Boone makes his way to ten.
Brady Boone? There's a DEAD GUY reffing? That crazy Russo... he'll do anything to pop a rating.
All right, smartass. Obviously it was Johnny Boone.
Subject: Has the WWF gone too far?
I read your reports all the time, and i'd like to bring up something, and maybe get some feedback from you. Just warning you, this letter might be long, i've got alot to say on this topic.
I'm a avid WWF fan, but what I saw on WWF raw on monday 12/27 was completely ignorant. I'm insulted, and was actually brought to tears by this episode and new plot line. I was not expecting anything like this to be brought into play. What i'm talking about is the new "violation" plot with Tori. As we are led to believe, she was possibly gang raped by DX-- then those feelings were brought up by Test touching her on her shoulder; thus transferring those feelings of violation onto Test. As much as X-Pac has always bugged me as the slimy, stereotypical rapist-type... and as much as the "suck it" slogan has always bothered me as it is suggestive.. I Do think that the WWF has gone to far in including a blatent rape, or even sexual abuse plot.
WWF is supposed to be entertainment. However, I was stuck with feelings of horror while watching this. I was in reality, raped when i was 14 years old. It's something i will never fully get over. I am also one of too many women this has happened to. 1 in 4 women are raped once in their life. That means out of your girlrfiend, your sister, your female cousin and your brother's girlfriend.. one of them will be raped. The statistics are staggering and I believe that it does not belong in the WWF.
There are many fans of DX, and I'm scared about how those fans are going to act. Many of them are Teen males, many of them may see what X-Pac supposedly did was cool. This doesn't seem right to me. It seems like we're promoting raping and abuse of women. No matter how much of a heel DX is, they still have fans, and what if those fans are loyal enough to not see that this is completly wrong.
And still, rape is a horrible, traumatic event. The emotions that one goes through afterwards cannot be acted out, cannot be dramatized and cannot be portrayed with justice. Not only do the actors on the WWF not have the skill in acting to portray someone who has been raped, i doubt that many of them can act from real life experience, or would choose to do so if they had been raped in reality. I am offended by the poor acting between Tori and Kane. I am offended as a rape survivor and as a psychologist of the portrayal of someone soon after being raped. I am offended by how rape has been presented. Women who have been raped do not parade around in a Bra and Lolipop pants soon after, even when they are in denial. Transferral of the images brought on by an attacker do not transfer like that. Women who are raped DO feel disgusting and dirty. Maybe if the WWF had done a bit of research and played with a bit of consideration, respect and sympathy, I would not be this angry. What i see is the attempt to make Tori look like a basket-case, or a lying bitch who made the whole story up. Are we supposed to feel sorry for her? Can we feel sorry for someone who will enter the ring in a trampy outfit like that. She needs to take a lesson from Ivory, who gave a speech about seeing less "thingy's" and having more respect for women.
I know the WWF isn't made to be taken seriously, but rape is not a joke, never has been, never will be. I used to think that the WWF made an attempt to appeal to every race and gender.. Now i see that has driven away quite a few of it's viewers, espeically the female ones, that think this has no place in an entertainment show. I probably and unfortuantely was not the only one who was bothered and brought to tears over the hideous portrayal of something so graphic and disgusting.
It's hard enough to make it in this world when you've been raped, with the images playing in your mind over and over. You don't need to see it on some show that you turn on to get away from the harshness of the world. The WWF is not a representation of the way the world is.. It's suggestive, degrating, and humerous. Don't get me wrong, i used to love watching Raw and Smackdown.. they were great escapes from the world. I watch them the wy many watch soap operas. What is in both of them isn't real, probably never could really happen.. but here's the deal, they've crossed the line. Rape is an all to real thing... and it doesn't belong in a completely ficticious show. There's nothing you can laugh at about rape.
Like I said, I'd like your feedback on this. I don't know if you've got alot to say. I don't know if you agree with me. I don't even know if you saw Raw on Monday night! Just let me know. Thanks
Well, I DID see RAW on Monday night - and it's probably the worst thing to do as a reaction, but I think I'm gonna say "I want to see how this plays out first." They've danced around sensitive issues before, and I have a feeling the ultimate resolution of this angle is that there's no rape here - more likely, Tori's using Kane as a pawn against the target du jour on DX' behalf.
And one other thing. Even if it turns out that this IS involving rape, this would hardly be the first television show to "go there." That doesn't make it right, of course, but how WOULD this be different from (say) "General Hospital?" I mean, I never watched the show, but even *I* know about Luke and Laura's history - and that was back in, what, 1980?
Thanks for the thought-provoking letter. I have a feeling most everyone reading it will take a moment to consider what you've said...and that includes any WWF people that might have wandered by, I'm sure.
Hey I got an idea. Maybe next week on Nitro, they can have Sting come from the rafters and attack Hoga.......nevermind. That was already done!
Were you being sarcastic when you wrote the end of your RAW report? Honestly I think the Big Show DID get over in that match. It was a great match too by the way.
This time, I was NOT sarcastic. That was a big pop for the Big Show, and I felt good hearing it. That was a big difference between the shows Monday - at the end of RAW I felt great, and at the end of Nitro, seeing Scott Steiner come out for the "surprise" ending, I felt...not great.
Subject: Correction on your Raw Post
I think you forgot that raw isn't taped anymore, because you wrote that there is going to be a St. Valentines Raw "Taping" That sold out in less than 2 hours or something. You have WAAAAY too much free time on your hands dude. get a life!
Hey dude, they don't show it live in EVERY time zone. So guess what? It's TAPED for the West Coast! Nyah nyah nyah YOU get a life nyah nyah
Subject: (no subject)
You Suck!!!!! You also annoy the living piss out of me!!
Feedback like this makes it all worthwhile.
Do you know if Undertaker is still in the WWF? And when mankind left will he come bak as mick foley or cactus jack or will he be gone for good. thanks
Subject: just wondering
For the most part, I enjoy your reviews....there are times that I miss Nitro and i look to your reviews to catch up....but why do you constantly belittle an approving WCW product....do I sense jealousy....I'm not trying to pick an email fight....but I'd really like to know......
What have I to be jealous of? Well, everybody getting close to Spice but me, I suppose... Let's just say that "approving" is not a word I would choose at this time to describe WCW. Come to think of it, "improving" is another word I wouldn't choose. ;-)
you sir are a buffoon. If the nwo was wwf you would licking vinny's crack. But you are already his bitch. So you are probably doing a monica on him!!!! Happy new year!!!!!!!
That's a well thought out argument, MPredooo!
Subject: Matt Hardy/Tomikaze
The tomikaze didn't do that to Matt Hardy; it was Jeff's knee hitting him on the 450 splash.
Richard Keith Patrick
I was SURE his leg didn't land anywhere NEAR his face, but I don't have the tape to check...I'm ready to take your word for it, though...
An oversight my man? I was TOTALLY expecting you to go off about
Buzzkill's entrance and whatnot..i mean, the jackass DID ripoff his
brothers music to go with his brothers gimmick..and maybe you can
tell me..WHY OH WHY does he come out with the goofy ass
dreadlocks...IF THEY FALL OFF EVERY MATCH! at least his brother glues
Buzzkill just isn't worth mentioning beyond saying that he's THERE. I think I already covered his entrance and shtick in previous weeks, as well.
Subject: Re: hey
Is Rakishi from TOO COOL Yokazuna?
Rikishi Phatu is...ready?...Fatu! Yoko's cousin. Yokozuna is REALLY REALLY FAT these days. Also, he's not in Too Cool, officially...
Subject: "Now I'm Sterile"
Man, CRZ, I'll tell you what...when I read that line I laughed as hard as I have ever laughed at anything on-line, ever...perfect comment, buddy.
Subject: uh, what?..
man, let me tell you something...ok, i know you have the right of freedom of speech and all, but let me tell you man...keep your damn mouth shut...you have got to be the most biased piece of crap i have ever seen...actually, i haven't seen you, but you must be one hell of an ugly dood...yeah, man i can tell you're biased toward the wwf and all, but let's get one thing straigt, let's keep things fair and equal here...you go off and write yourself a little report on the wwf and you talk good about that crap and then you go off and write a report about wcw nitro and you make fun of possibly everything there is to be made fun of....YOU SUCK A ROMAN CATHOLIC MONKEY NUT!!!....it's that simple...and quite frankly, you're full of shit...so, go and write your little report week after week after week....and yeah, i'll keep reading it, too...but keep one thing in mind though....you are FAKE!!....always remember that about yourself...i'm sure you'll make the TENS and TENS of your fans happy.....good luck dillhole....
Did you just call me a "dillhole?" Man, that HURTS.
Subject: Any Given Sunday
I have a quick question. I saw Any Given Sunday today and I thought you or one of your readers could help me out. In the movie the fullback for the Sharks, #31, looks almost exactly like Bill Goldberg. I stayed for the credits and he wasn't mentioned but I might have missed it. If not, check it for yourself if you haven't seen it already. Take off the goatee and he's a dead ringer. The guy even has a tatoo that looks like Goldberg's. Maybe I watch too much wrestling and my imagination is too vivid, but I'm almost postitive on this one. Help me out please.
Jonathan P. Howe
Go Southern Miss...beat Colorado State!!!!
I haven't seen the flick - can anybody else help us out here? The IMDB entry doesn't list a credit for #31 - but no credit for Goldberg, either. If Goldberg WAS in the picture, wouldn't WCW have been hyping it up the ass? Then again... maybe not!
Subject: (no subject)
Hey man I got nothin against ya but why do you hate WCW so much. I mean WWF is a bunch of bullshit with no real power except big show. There wrestlers have the crappiest names i've ever heard. Rock, Big show, x-pac,mr.ass,road dogg. All you do is make fun of WCW as if WWF is doing better. Last month I loved WWF but monday i didn't watch a thing of it and instead was really interested in WCW.
YOU must have been that guy responsible for the 2.0 rating!
Subject: Nitro Retort
You are such a WWf mark. You are the anti-madden; WCW has cruched that lame-ass HHH-Steph garbage the last month, but you'd never know it from your reports. If you don't want to do your job give it to me. You are the worst!
"Anti-Madden." I think that's the greatest compliment I've ever been paid!
You totally suck, you aren't even close to being funny. If you don't like Nitro, don't watch it!
If I didn't watch it, I couldn't write the report! (Now THAT'S a straight line!)
Subject: Tank Abbott in WCW reports
From now on I think you should refer to Tank Abbott as Tank "The Anvil" Abbot in your WCW t.v. reports. Your reports are really entertaining, keep up the good work.
I may very well do this!
Unfortunately, the WCW does not do anything for me right now. Please tell me that those two guys are not fully in charge. Their big creative idea (LETS REFORM THE NWO!) I think most people are totally sick of the whole NWO idea. NExt thing you know Hogan will return and WCW will go even further down the drain.
Anyways good recaps though
Awww, add up the times yourself. (We'll see.)
Subject: The Big Slow...
Am I the only one who thought that maybe, just MAYBE the WWF was pumping in some fake crowd noise for The Big Show? If you have it on tape watch it again, and see the crowd as they pop for the no sell punches from Treble H and the headbutt on Treble H. The crowd is barely moving, but there's a huge pop. I faintly heard a "Big Show" chant in there as well. Just a little something I noticed.
Hmmm....I didn't sense that, but I can't say for sure...maybe somebody who was there will write in?
Subject: nitro recap
i fell for the scott steiner thing on nitro. i've been able to call "swerves" like this all year and i've actually been able to say what move a wrestler is about to do a good 5 seconds before it happens. but this was so obvious yet i missed it. oh well. by the way, you do great recaps. keep up the good work
Subject: (no subject)
i was reading your main event coverage of the Raw main event. Triple H says si deslam! The Big show does the side slam. I think HHH knows more about wrestling moves than you and you still reported it as a sidewalk slam. The sidewalk slam is done by Booker T and it's a standing spinebuster. You're starting to sound as bad as those dipshits Ross and Cole.
Funny, JIM ROSS called it a "sidewalk slam" that night. Let's pretend YOU'RE calling the spot. Are you gonna use the LONGEST NAME POSSIBLE?
Ok, lemme get this straight. you got beanie baby-like dolls for christmas, and you kinda like the 3 count song, but d flairs new music is annoying? flair's new music is Nine Inch Nail's Burn, or a damn close ripp of it, from the Natural Born Killers Soundtrack. (they're s'pposed to be mickey and malorie, get it?) While I agree that the entire segment in which the music played SUCKED AND WAS POSSIBLY THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL MOST WORTHLESS PIECE OF "SPORTS ENTERTANIMENT" BULL$H*T I'VE SEEN SINCE RICK FLAIR WAS SENT TO A MENTAL INSTITUTE, Burn is an incredible song and the only bearable part of the segment. I can overlook the fact that you are an open WWF mark recapping a WCW program, but your taste in music is simply unacceptable.
I guess my ears have hurt too much from Flair's giggle scream and Daffney's scream scream to be able to appreciate the rip-off-ed-ness of the subsequent music. I promise to listen harder next time - "Burn" is a cool song. The downside is I might have a problem with it if it IS just another WCW ripoff...
I live in the Uk, and have recently got very interested in WCW wrestling (to my surprise), because of the involvement of women wrestlers like Midnight and Asya in 'men's' matches. I am very much in favour of these matches, though I know I'm in a minority on this!
I have been searching the Web for accounts of these bouts, which I may never see on tape (though I will try!), but I find the same basic two reports being circulated all across the Internet. How refreshing to come across your site (which I had never heard of before - I just followed a link), and read different reports (at last) which are furthermore personal, detailed, vivid, often humorous, and interesting. Also, the vast archive (lacking on most sites - if you're too late, that's just tough) were very helpful. I will keep visiting! Thank you.
I tried the link on a story 'Gotta love Momma's wrestling' but it seemed to have expired. Was it about women's wrestling, do you remember?
I search the Web for pictures of these WCW bouts, but only find the 'Lords of Pain' and 'WrestlingArena' displays, which are good - but are there other places I should be looking?
I will not bombard you with any more questions, but just repeat how glad I am to have found your site.
Funny...you attack Benoit/Jarrett's upcoming matches at the PPV by writing that it's all been done before.
Kane/X-Pac? Hardyz/Suicide Blondes? Austin/Undertaker? Everything has been done over and over, not just WCW matches.
And attacking Jarrett because his tears for Owen were allegedly fake? Please. Take a look at the footage and you'll see an Academy Award nomination for Vince McMahon...except as hard as he tried, the tears just wouldn't come. Scott Steiner's cryfest was more believable.
Why doesn't Wrestleline get somebody with an unbiased opinion to recap Nitro? It's obvious you have a love for WWF, which is fine, but do you have to trash everything about WCW? I swear, I am totally convinced that you are actually Jim Ross and Rick Scaia is Vince McMahon.
Take the blinders off now.
Why DOESN'T WrestleLine get somebody with an unbiased opinion to recap Nitro?
Subject: good report
I like your reports. All I can say about Nitro is "Haven't we seen ALL of this stuff before?" Didn't all of this happen two years ago? And hasn't Austin done all of the monster truck stuff before? I'm telling you Russo is tapped of ideas and can only rehash old ones. I'm sorry but WCW will now always be second fiddle to the WWF because the WWF always will bring on seemingly fresh ideas.
I would like to start by commend you for week after week putting out recaps of the shows...I know it's not easy to write so much every week.
Do I have a problem with how you write? Yes. But before you just delete this message, let me point out why, in the shortest way possible.
You complain that you've seen Benoit vs JJ, what...FOUR times on Nitro already, and now your supposed to want to see them on a PPV?
Take a look at the WWF before you even START talking about redundant matches in WCW.
Oh, and if your going to talk about 'swerves'...the WWF hasn't done anything in the past 2 years that I haven't seen coming from miles away, WITHOUT the net dirtsheet writers having to tell me it's going down.
Opinions are fine...but at least be fair.
Why can people only attack my opinion of WCW items by comparing them to WWF items? "Oh, well, in the WWF it's blah blah blah." Well, bully for them - *I* was talking about the WCW, noodle brain!
Subject: lenny & lodi & legs
If I'm not mistaken those legs w/Standards and Practices belonged to Nitro Grrrl Skye... and anything that gets her on my TV more is a GOOD GOOD THING...
Subject: End of the Year
Re: Your report on RAW, which was very enjoyable, as always...
I would say the reason Good 'Ole JR said this was the last RAW of the year and left it at that is because that's it. As everyone knows, but refuses to admit, the first day of the new century/millenium is 1/1/2001. However, he could have said that it was the last RAW of the 90's. That would have made it seem more final.
Your insider references make your column too hard to read, and they're the furthest thing from funny.
Fortunately, if you read it long enough, you BECOME an insider..then they're a LITTLE bit closer to "funny."
Subject: WWF Trivia Game
You're not the only one who got the WWF Trivia Game (2nd Edition) - I kinda like it. My cousins even tossed in a Vince McMahon action figure just for fun. Have you seen that thing? It's the one where Vince has the removable business suit - and to allow room for the removable suit, they've made Vince look about 200 times bigger than he really is. Gotta love it.
You wrote that Jarrett's reaction to Steiner and Owen Hart being the same, they weren't even close. Take a look at that RAW if you have it on tape. Let's not just try and roll his name in the mud because he ain't in the WWF no more. Bret Hart gets enough of that. I went to your web page, my god. You are an ugly guy. Try a hair cut. The chicks must really go for you.
Ooh, resorting to comments about my PERSONAL APPEARANCE!!
For those of you who didn't understand what I was saying, let me say it again. Seeing Jarrett work the fake tears Monday for Scott Steiner - for the storyline - diminished the impact of his REAL tears shed for Owen in May. Get it? I'm NOT saying Jarrett was faking it in May - I'm saying that when he DID fake it Monday, it made me feel embarrassed for him because it COULD have made others think that May was also an act - and that's DAMN depressing.
It's just like the WWF dishonouring the ten bell salute by tolling it for the purposes of getting over the FAKE death of Big Show's storyline father. Oops, just used a WWF item to compare to a WCW item. Well, I'm a Giant hypocrite then.
Subject: wwf news
dear chrissy.i lovethe wwf and i am a huge stone cold fan.i also like th e rock,mankind,kane, vince mc.and ken shamrock.i watch raw every week please would you contact me about the latest news,
Subject: "I hate CRZ" and the WL Forum
Chris, I am a member of the Wrestleline forum and let me just say whoever posted that topic does not speek for all of us there. I happen to find your reports funny as hell no matter what anybody says. Keep up the good work and I'll try to get Brandonm (the forum moderator) to post a "I love CRZ and his reports" topic. BTW, I'm not gay. I don't love you in THAT way.
Well, I'm relieved, but you can love me that way if you want - as long as it's from afar! As for the forum, I NEVER read it - you can tell, since the topic apparently started about two or three weeks ago and I never noticed until somebody brought it to my attention today. I thought it was pretty funny, so I put the link on the front page. Really, there are so many people who say so many things about me, and they don't KNOW me, and they don't CARE to know me - it's so much easier to speculate about what I might have said or meant, rather than to send me an email and ask me, and get the real answer from the source. I won't post on the forum because I haven't registered, and probably won't. Also, let's face it - the forum pretty much sucks. Most do. ;-) Anyway, I hope everyone out there knows that I'm really pretty easygoing in email and will take just about anything you throw at me. So LET 'ER RIP! And if you don't want your letter here, all you have to do is let me know...or make it so personal that I wouldn't DARE print it without permission. :)
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
Letters from Four Weeks Ago