/wrestling
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WWF Metal |
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Guest columnist: Kirk Wagstaff |
MainBLAH |
Hello and welcome to WWF Metal. Your hosts are Kevin Kelly and Tom Prichard.
KAIENTAI VS TOO COOL Scotty 2 Hotty with a headlock. Off the ropes, shoulderblock. Kick. Fallaway slam! And there's a little dance. Tag to Granmaster Sexaaaaaaaaaaaay. Double team elbows. Sexay lets Funaki tag Taka. Exchanging blows. Off the ropes, Sexay with a shoulderblock. Russian leg sweep. Tag to Scotty 2 Hotty. Double team back body, but Taka lands on his feet, and does a little dance. Funaki soon realises what he's missing, and joins in - FUNKY FUNAKI! There's two kicks for Kaientai. Double Powerbomb! Sexay with a sunset flip on the ring apron on Funaki, whilst Taka hits a spinning heel kick on Scotty. Head to the buckle. Tags in Funaki. Double whip, Taka with a drop toe hold, enabling Funaki to get the camel clutch. Irish whip, reversed, Funaki hits the buckle. Scotty tries a turnbuckle splash, only to hit a boot. Funaki with kicks, MODIFIED DDT FROM THE TOP. 1, 2... Nope. Tag to Taka, scoop and a slam (with a wham). Going to the top - Moonsault.... no one in the pool! Scotty crawls to his corner. There's a tag to Funaki, but there's the HOT TAG to Grandmaster Sexaaaay. There's the WORM from Scotty. Taka gets thrown out, whilst Funaki feels the Tennessee Jam! 1, 2, 3 (5:21). Johnathan Coachman tells us all the stuff that's happened this week. Cactus Jack is back! How many times have we heard THAT? He's on the MIC! Stephanie is on the commentary, do we really care what her whinging mouth has to say? Here she shows he talent for Acolytes/Triple H & X Pac match. Bradshaw hits a fallaway slam: "Oh that wasn't fair." Here come the rest of DX: "Yeah". Can DX actually get through a match without cheating? Answers on a postcard. BRITISH BULLDOG VS KEVIN LA(U)NDRY What the hell has been happening to the Bulldog lately? When he returned earlier this year, he said he was going to get that WWF Championship Belt. Here he is losing to the likes of Steve Blackman and hanging round with the Mean Street Posse. Anyway, Bulldog in with a few kicks. Whip. Landry with a shoulderblock. Dropkick. Bodyslam. Hiptoss! Bulldog comes back with a vertical suplex. Landry gets thrown to the outside. Head to the buckle. Head butt. Landry with kicks. Irish whip to the opposite buckle, Bulldog counters a splash with a kick. Landry on the shoulder.... RUNNING POWERSLAM! 1, 2, 3 (2:07). Let's have the roundup of the Rock/Big Show Confrontation. JR said a few weeks back in the Ross Report: "No plans to have Big Show to go for a full heel status." Well at the moment he's hated pretty badly. There's Rock with a steel chair shot - but that gets edited. Soon enough the Outlaws pin the guy who is "living large and in charge". VIS VS GANGREL Vis pushes Gangrel away following a grapple. Clothesline misses, Vis with a belly to belly suplex! Pummeling away from both parties. Gangrel with an irish whip - reversed. Gangrel hits the buckle. And the other one. Vis misses a turnbuckle splash, Gangrel is quick with a roll up. 1, 2... Rights. Gangrel on the shoulders, SAMOAN DROP! Pick up. Head to the buckle. Short clothesline sends Gangrel down. Oooooooohhhh BIG LEG DROP! 1, 2... Luna pulls Gangrels legs to the ropes. You betcha, Vis is distracted by Luna, so he goes to the outside. Luna has Vis... something was edited there. Gangrel gets his head throws into the steel steps. Whip into the barricade. Vis missed a splash. There's the ref calling for the bell. Double countout (2:42). This is the WWF, I didn't think they had countouts any more! Vis and Gangrel proceed to brawl all the way backstage. Let's have some more Rumble hype! Hmm, didn't we see all this earlier in the show? Here we see Cactus Jack and Triple H fighting it out. So I guess we'll have to watch all that microphone talk from the last two weeks ALL OVER AGAIN. Whilst we're here, the SIGN OF THE WEEK if from this Smackdown portion: "HHH sucks Jacks Cactus". Ha ha, those crazy WWF fans! THE HOLLYS VS MEAN STREET POSSE Grappling. Crash straight in with a waistlock. Irish whip reversed, Crash escapes a slam of some sort, and pulls the legs, sending Rodney down. Crash with a clothesline. Things take off on the outside. HURRICANRANA from the steps! Is it me, or is Crash severely underated? Back in the ring, and Crash makes the tag. Hardcore (or Bob, if you prefer) with kicks and a few punches. Pete Gas is in, who walks straight into a hiptoss. Whip. Hardcore attempts a back body drop, but instead he gets a kick. Inverted atomic drop by Hardcore. Off the ropes, clothesline! Tag to Crash. On top turnbuckle, punch. Whip by Crash - reversed, Abs grabs the legs of Crash, which then enables Gas to get a cheap shot in. Suplex! Gas proceeds to intimidate Hardcore. This distracts the ref, and you betcha, the Mean Street Posse are stomping away on Crash. Rodney in now. Snapmere. Rear chinlock. Looking at Crash, does he remind you of that little guy from Shastna McNasty? Crash comes back with elbows (that ALWAYS happens with a rear chinlock). Rodney turns what looks like a samoan drop, into a back suplex. Stomps. 2 count.Throws Crash to the outside. Double teaming! Eventually things get back into the ring, suplex on Crash. Another 2 count. Rodney attempts to finish it all off with a crucifix powerbomb, but Crash slips out. NECKBREAKER! Both are out on the canvas. Rodney tags in Gas, just in time for the tag to Hardcore. Hardcore clocks just about everybody. Gas manages a clothesline though, and yep, referee Teddy Long has been distracted again. Mean Street Posse with the "Blockbuster misses and hits our own guy". Hardcore with the Hollycaust. That's it (4:55). Next up - The Royal Rumble! See you all next week!
Kirk Wagstaff |
BLAH |
Main |