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/5 February 2000

WWF Metal UK by Kirk Wagstaff

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This is WWF Metal! Your hosts - Kevin Kelly and Tom Prichard.

BIG BOSS MAN VS STEVIE RICHARDS. Hehe - Stevie come down in Bossman gear. Bossman does a little intimidating. Rights. Whip. Kick to the face! Whip to the turnbuckle. Splash. And to the opposite. Splash countered with a kick. Exchanging ventures to the outside now. Richards with a dropkick. It goes to the outside, where there's the usual brawling. Bossman with a back drop into the barricade. Back in the ring, there's a choke by Bossman. Pulling on the arms. Bossman pulls Richards jacket off and whacks him with it. Legdrop to the crotch. There's a Scott Hudson "OOH!" Whip to the buckle. Splash countered with a kick. Top rope. Clothesline blocked - SIDEWALK SLAM! 1, 2, 3 (3:39).

And the highlights from the past week. Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit are special guests on RAW. Road Dogg delivers his most technical move, a right hand to Malenko, which results in three quarters of the Revolution and one quarter of The Filthy Animals beating the hell out of him. Saturn with a T-Bone suplex in the ring. Guerrero frog splash! Malenko with a suplex. Benoit - SWANDIVE HEADBUTT!

The Rock pinned Kurt Angle on RAW. There's the "I'd rather be in Chyna" sign. That's the THIRD TIME I've seen that sign used in a WEEK. Hey, they should be advertising "http://go.to/wbw" instead!

Let's listen to Jim Ross moan about how violent and sadistic The Dudley Boyz are. JR - these guys are from ECW. Get used to it and stop whinging. Hey, watch EVERY table shot get EDITED OUT.

FUNAKI VS RATINGS MIDEON. Mideon starts off with rights. Rope choke. Whip. Funaki with a cross body! Dropkick. Baseball slide to the outside. Mideon comes back with rights, followed by a head butt. Throws Funaki back in the ring. Powerbomb... countered with a huracanrana. But Mideon comes back, with rights - again. Head to the buckle. More rights. Funaki "slugs away", but Mideon, as always, comes back with rights. Jeez - the ratings must be THROUGH THE ROOF. Right. Ooh, Mideon with a bodyslam. Driving elbow from the top misses. Funaki whipped to the buckle. Mideon hits a kick. Funaki with a tornado DDT? It went wrong. Mideon kicks out at two. Underarm reverse DDT (or if you're a fan of The Godwinns, Slop Drop). 1, 2, 3 (3:36).

Stone Cold interview with JR. Apparently he'll be back, kicking The Rocks ass, and pissing on his credibility, in three or four months time. Is it just me, or can the WWF survive without Stone Cold? The Rock has scooped all his heat since Survivor Series.

JOBBER GANGREL (w/Luna) VS PRINCE ALBERT. Grapple. Albert in control with rights. Shoulder barges in the corner. Whip to opposite buckle. Head to the buckle. Whip to opposite buckle. This guy LOVES turnbuckles! Ooh, misses a splash. Gangrel with a roll up. 1, 2... Albert with a choke. Luna distracts Albert, which enables her lover Gangrel to gain the advantage. Albert with a clothesline though. Stomps. Bodyslam. BIG elbowdrop misses. Gangrel delivers his own. But Albert is BACK in control. Chin crusher. Rope guillotine. 1, 2... Luna pulls Gangrels leg to the ropes. Bah. Kicks by Gangrel. Kicks to the leg. Figure four? Gangrel trying to get a FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK? Albert pushes his away. Oh well. Gangrel still in with kicks. Slam attempt by Albert, Gangrel falls on top of Albert for a 2. Albert back in control. Powerbomb! Rights by Gangrel. Irish whip - reversed. Albert with a splash to the turnbuckle. Slam attempt. Gangrel slips out. Back suplex. Pump kick! 1, 2, 3 (5:20)!

Here we see Triple H and Cactus Jack. Oh, and here's the boys from "down south".

THE GODFATHER & D'LO BROWN (w/ 7 Ho's & 14 Knockers) VS CHESTBANGERS

D'Lo and Thrasher in first. Grapple. Whip. D'Lo with a hiptoss. Arm drag. Arm bar. Eye poke by Thrasher. Tag to Mosh. D'Lo with a drop toe hold. Tag to Godfather. Punches. BIG bodyslam. Wonky legdrop! Tag to D'Lo. Modified samoan drop. DDT on D'Lo. Whip. Elbow. Tag to Mosh. Irish whip. FLAPJACK! 2 count. Mosh clocks Godfather. Double teaming on D'Lo. Mosh with a whip - D'Lo ducks a clothesline. Ooh - DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! Tag to Thrasher, just in time for the HOT TAG to Godfather, who just about annihilates everyone. HO TRAIN! Tag to D'Lo - FROGSPLASH! 1, 2, 3 (3:41).

Hey, that's all for this week. Don't forget to send me feedback (wagstaff@england.com), and also whilst I'm here, visit "http://go.to/wbw". It took me all week to get it right! See you next week!

Kirk Wagstaff
[slash] wrestling

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission