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/11 March 2000

WWF Metal UK by Kirk Wagstaff




Welcome to WWF Metal. Your hosts (again) are Kevin Kelly and Tom Prichard.

Lightweight Championship - D'LO BROWN VS ESSA RIOS (w/LITA). Kick. Headlock. Irish whip. D'Lo with a shoulder block. Essa blocks a hiptoss off the ropes, D'Lo counters a huracanrana with a toss into the ropes. Irish whip, Essa counters a backdrop with a spectacular head scissors takeover. Chopping in the corner. Whip to the buckle. Splash. D'Lo with two whoo chops and a right for good measure. Whip to the buckle, attempts a splash, runs straight into a boot for two. Whip by D'Lo - high leg clothesline! Elbowdrop. Bodyslam. D'Lo drop for two. SKY HIGH! The low down is set up, but Lita distracts the refere and D'Lo enabling Rios to execute a HIPTOSS FROM TOP ROPE! Wow. Tornado DDT from Rios, he distracts the referee himself, enabling Lita to execute a head scissors takeover from the top sending the crowd nuts. Moonsault from the top! 1, 2, 3 (5:33). That was the best match I think I've ever seen on Metal.

Too Cool faced Road Dogg and X-Pac on Raw. The match had potential - and then Kane came in to spoil it. Angle and Jericho fought to another no contest this week.

FUNAKI VS THRASHER. Thrasher executes several off the rope moves including a shoulder block. Funaki countered with a dropkick. There's the fame-asser Billy Gunn stole from Marty Janetty. Thrasher reversed an irish whip to the buckle. Funaki jumps to the top for a cross body block for a two count. Mosh interferes on the outside. And it only got a two count. Stomps. Rope choke. Mosh interferes AGAIN. Head to the buckle. Rights. Chin crusher. Whip, sunset flip for two. Funaki pushes Thrasher into Mosh, who is now on the apron - and rolls him up for the three (3:24). Here's the typical "you won the match but you didn't win the war" ending.

Bob Backlund is back! Let's have a look at him applying the crossface chickenwing on Jericho on Raw, and Tazz on Smackdown. Two horribly wasted talents.

Jericho calls himself the man of 1004 moves. In the WWF, he's still yet to show us the remaining thousand.

THE GODFATHER (w/4 Ho's and 8 Knockers) VS RATING MIDEON. Mideon assaults the ho's - and Godfather clocks him one. Whips Mideon into the steps. Oof. Back in the ring. Oh, wait - OPENING BELL. Mideon counters with rights as predicted, with a shortarm clothesline. Backbreaker for two. Off the ropes - DOUBLE CLOTHESLINEEEEEEEEE!!! Godfather comes back, bodyslam - WOBBLY LEGDROP! Mideon finds this untimely moment to rest in the corner - HO TRAIN!!!! Pimp drop. Hooks the leg - 1, 2, 3 (1:54).

Rock/Triple H nonsense from this week.

TAZ(Z) & TESSSSSSST VS BIG BOSSMAN & PRINCE ALBERT. Bossman and Albert dominate - they send me to sleep. Albert hits a choke powerbomb of some sort. Double teaming slingshot. Test with a pumphandle - countered with an elbow. Irish whip - DOUBLE CLOTHESLINEEEEEEEEEE!!! HOT TAG to Tazz. T-Bone suplex for Albert. Tazmission applied on Albert, but Bossman splits it up. Huh - WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING? Down the aisle? Bah - DOUBLE COUNTOUT (3:50).

See you all next week!

Kirk Wagstaff
[slash] wrestling

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission