I have some news for you this week, and it's not good. Turns out that the digital service which I watch WWF programming on may be cancelled within the next few weeks as it appears to be a complete waste of money. It doesn't work half of the time, the set top box enjoys freezing up at every moment you check your email, and the picture has the annoying tendency of showing jagged lines for no proper reason. And this is not just my experience. It's Cable & Wireless' poor service - and I hope they're reading this. What does this mean? In this unfortunate event I will no longer be able to report Metal. That said, I'd still like to write material for the site until I can find a reliable cable/digital service. And we have at least one good week left until I go, okay?

CHESTBANGER MOSH -vs- "THE RATINGS KILLER" MIDEON. Mideon starts off the fun with rights. Yes! Mosh throws him to the outside. Pascato to the outside by Mosh. Rights. Whip reversed twice to the buckle, Mideon hits the steps. Rights. Back in the ring. Arm twist by Mosh - Mideon counters with the clothesline. Backbreaker. 1, 2... "You shut the hell up" - what a WONDERFUL line! Mosh back with rights. Whip to the buckle, rush into a boot. Mideon out with a clothesline. Oh god this city just loves Mideon! 1, 2... Whip, clothesline misses, cross body block by Mosh - 1, 2... Irish whip, Back body drop attempt by Mideon - into a DDT! Mosh with a drop toe hold into the ropes - rope choke. Mosh to the top - vertical splash! 1, 2, 3 (4:04). That brought flashbacks of the first bout of Wrestlemania 13.

GANGREL -vs- TAKA MICHINOKU (w/ Funaki & Flags). Gangrel with kicks. Rights. Kick. Rights in the corner. Hiptoss all the way across the ring. Taka with a drop toe hold. Kick. Chops. Whip, Gangrel counters a back body drop attempt with a forearm. Choke with the boot. Whip to the buckle, up and over - waistlock, elbow to the face. Suplex into a pin! 1, 2... Whip reversed - hurracanrana attempt - into a powerslam! Flying elbow. Funaki catches him second time rounf. Spin kick by Taka. Slaps by Taka. Snapmere. Kick to the neck. Dropkick to the face! Which appears to have got the crowd going. 1, 2... "USA" chant - where's Hacksaw Jim Duggan then? Whip, dropkick. Gangrel to the outside - springboard cross body! Yes! Slaps. Off the ropes, spin kick into a belly to back suplex counter! Double underhook - belly to belly suplex. Whip to the buckle. Splash in corner. Taka to the top - dropkick from the top! Michinoku driver? Nah, Gangrel counters it with the Impaler DDT (4:43).

Al SNOW & STEVE BLACKMAN -vs- D'LO BROWN & PERRY SATURN. Al and D'Lo in the ring. Al with arm twists - D'Lo reverses it. Wristlocks. D'Lo with shoulder blocks. Runs into a hiptoss. Arm twists by D'Lo. Al is up, dropkick. Blocking rights. Kick. Al whips D'Lo - clothesline. Tags in Saturn, walks into a clothesline. Tag to Blackman. Rights. Whip reversed, kick. Blackman back up. Saturn with rights in the corner. Whip reversed to the buckle. Dropkick by Blackman. Whip reversed, Al grabs Saturn - face first into the steps. Double clothesline on the outside. This is getting pretty tricky. Teddy Long gets to 2 when Snow covers Saturn. Saturn with a suplex of some sort on Snow. D'Lo with dropkicks. Al back with rights. Whip to the buckle. D'Lo said "punk". Sidewalk slam. Rights. Whip, Snow catches the ropes, tag to Blackman nearly makes it - D'Lo grabbed the leg and pulls him to his corner. Tag to Saturn. Suplex. Tag to D'Lo again. D'Lo gets clocked. HOT TAG to Blackman - who eliminates everyone. Loads of kicks. Which heat things up. D'Lo catches D'Lo. Shit, this is getting heavy. Saturn gets clocked with a kick. D'Lo is on the outside. Stage dive? Snow gets crotched by D'Lo. Roll up by Saturn, and clocks D'Lo in the process - 1, 2... Spinebuster and a roll up - 1, 2.... This is getting real good. Blackman with a fishermans suplex - 1, 2... D'Lo pulls Teddy Long out. Eh? The bell's ringing (6:30)? A double DQ? Bah - well, it was a great match.

Well, that's it for this week. Well, as you'll have read, this could be one of the last Metal reports I do for a while until I get back on Cable & Wireless. But, hey, I think I did well. I've kept to a reasonable deadline, and I don't leave each episode four weeks late like the guy who does WCW Worldwide :)

Kirk Wagstaff
[slash] wrestling

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