Before I begin, I've been told by [slash's] Michaelangelo to tell all of you that HE was the first one to bring On-Site Reports to CRZ's humble abode. (Hmm, I think he's wrong on that one. I show Ronnie Cox with the first show report? - CRZ)

There you go. Wouldn't want to anger the boy.

This is MY On-Site Report of the Providence, RI show on Monday August the 13th. My companion was the said painter.

We got into the city of Providence at around 7:15pm, and through cunning wiles and fun knowledge of city streets (it's local for us) we avoided the hugely jammed up streets surrounding the Providence Civic Centre and got half-price parking for $10. Whoo!

Got into the arena, found out our seats were relatively cool. First balcony, right across from the camera, not far at all. I could see a little backstage and all the techies roaming around doing light tests.

While we're waiting for the show, they show video montages on the TitanTron: first of the HHH / Stephanie / Angle triangle, then a bunch of Tazz stuff. There was a neat one about how the WWF is being noticed by Hollywood, with a bunch of interviews with the Rock, Chyna, Jerry Lawler, etc.

There are three large women's asses directly in my view, standing against the balcony. If I ever get that, feel free to kill me.

DARK MATCHES

For a half-filled arena, when Howard Finkel comes down to the ring, he gets a surprisingly big response. Now, thanks to some local boys sitting and surrounding Michaelangelo and I, I had the chance to get the unknown wrestlers' names right.

1) Russ and Charlie, "The Haas Brothers" vs. "The Dupps"
After a five minute delay, the match got started.......... Haas Bros. gets a large amount of boos, surprising since they were apparently home-town boys............. neither team are very remarkable, unfortunately....... the Haas Bros. roll up a Dupp (some sort of leg crucifix) for a top-rope elbow directly to the groin..... OUCH..........the Dupps slam down a Haas with a double sidewalk slam for the clean pin. Winner by pin: The Dupps

2) Joey Abs (sans sweatervest) vs. Mideon (black eye tights)
Joey Abs looks much better, like a younger Dr. Death.........Michaelangelo says: how did they find enough highlight footage to make Mideon's entrance video? Where's Viscera?...... I was too busy laughing at him to pay much attention to the match, which was slow and short. Winner by pin: Mideon.

JAKKED / METAL MATCHES

Kevin Kelly and Dr. Tom Pritchard come down the ramp to the table to boo's! Ha! Again, thanks to the local boys for the names of these people:

1) Brutal Bob Evans (aka "Automobile Accident" Holly) vs. Gangrel (going sleeveless now)

Gangrel got a BIG pop from all of us......by the way, that name I put in brackets after Evans was one of many names everyone in our area were coming up for him......when the tech guys came to extinguish Gangrel's circle of fire, one's leg caught on fire for a few seconds......good moves from Gangrel, including his patented double underhook overhead suplex.........Evans misses with a top rope moonsault, which sets him up for Gangrel's Implant DDT. Winner by pin: Gangrel. The vamp-man follows up his win with an extra elbow to Bob's head.

2) The Big Bossman (with a mix of boos and cheers?) vs. Jay Jailette, Kidd USA (aka the 4-5-6 Kid)

Kidd USA is apparently from Rhode Island, which makes everyone go a little crazy......a dropkick garners a great big pop........regardless, Bossman manhandles the Kidd....... what does my companion think of the Bossman? "I was one of the Twin Towers, you can't hurt me. I've been sucking Vince's dick for years and years.".......one Bossman Slam gives the guy the win over the hometown crowd favourite, something that surprises me. Winner by pin: Big Bossman. He hits the Kidd a few times with the nightstick and nudges his face with his shoe........ Jailette gets a rousing reaction as he leaves, selling the hell out of his injuries on the way back.

I get the distinct impression that Kevin Kelly is an asshole.

3) Lo Down (with D-Lo and D-Chaz) vs. Rodney and Pete Gas

The two members of the long-missed Mean Street Posse are in just their sweaters, and looking surprisingly buff tonight.....Rodney with the swinging neckbreaker on D-Lo, Gas follows up with a top-rope legdrop.......some mild screw-ups..........Rodney with a double underhook suplex on D-Lo......... is D-Lo wearing a thong? ...........hot tag to Chaz, who's a whirlwind of fire with his clotheslines, back body drops, a Jackhammer and a counter DDT....... the Lo Down team finisher: Chaz gives Pete a superplex, D-Lo follows immediately with a frogsplash. Winner by pin: Lo Down. One of the local boys asks me if I work indy shows; I do not, although I was almost a Godfather ho once.

4) European Champion Perry Saturn (w/ Terri) vs. Lightweight Champion Dean Malenko (w/ two .....girls)

Terri is nattily attired in zebra pants and one hell of a "ton 'o' boob" shirt...... her cleavage is separating rapidly; you could fit two bricks between them........Dean-o has some new green tights and new music...... we see some holds botched..... we see A LOT of holds botched, this is an unnaturally sloppy, screwed-up spots match...... Dean goes for the Texas Cloverleaf.... Terri jumps up onto the apron and distracts, prompting.... Esse Rios to make the run-in? Huh?...... Rios hits Malenko with a top-rope dropkick, and Saturn finishes it with some sort of reverse fisherman's suplex. Winner by pin: Perry Saturn. I guess Rios wants to get his title back from Dean, hence the attack.

Jim Ross comes down the ramp to a band march and a big-ass reaction from the now-packed arena.

Jerry "the King" Lawler gets a standing ovation - no lie!

The Fink tells us to hype it up, and we're on!

Well, sorta.

Everyone is on their feet screaming, and the Fink starts selling merchandise to us. People aren't interested, ROCKY chants and YANKEES SUCK chants vibrate around the arena. Tony the announcer is brought down, The Fink sings the American national anthem all jazzy-like.

(Lillian was a no-show....kinda disapointing)

One minute away from live television, the lights dim, the crowd goes nuts, the pyros fly, the signs are raised all over the place.

Someone planted a kiss on Michaelangelo... can't say who.

RAW IS WAR

Those pyros are HOT and smoky. The smoke hovered in the arena all night. Kurt Angle comes out to a loud, mixed response. The people in my section were screaming F-YOU, YOU SUCK, etc. at him for those Rhode Island slams; I just laugh. He talks about HHH, how he's attacking Angle just like Tonya Harding attacked Nancy Kerrigan and gets some laughs, especially when he reminds us of the hogpen matches HHH was involved with in his early WWF career. (1996, I believe, at one of the first In Your Houses against Henry O. Godwinn.)

One of the great moments of the night: HHH streaks down the ramp after Angle to a HUGE POP! We went nuts! .... only for Shane to follow and separate Angle and HHH. Shazbot! Everyone is standing throughout the segment.

As you'll read in CRZ's RAW Recap, stuff happened with Mick Foley making the night's match: HHH/Angle/Shane MacMahon vs. The Dudleys/the Rock, and anyone who walks out of the match gets the boot and looses their number one contendership.

Backstage, Chris Benoit knocks on a door, and subsequently gets attacked by Chris Jericho. All people in the ring run up the ramp to the backstage area, except HHH, who saunters up slowly.

Commercials. I saw some funny signs that the camera missed, like "Lita Makes the Boys Hardy."

Watching the TitanTron, we see Benoit throw a hissy fit backstage.

Pansy.

Kaientai (!) walks into the Acolytes's office, and talks about money and lots of beer. The sound was fluxuating throughout, so I couldn't hear it all. But I know this: they are going to the Friendly Tap!

The bar owned by referee Tim White, and the one that Michaelangelo and I should have gone to Sunday night for the taping, since it's right near the city.

Match #1 Eddie Guerrero and Steve Blackman (w/ Chyna) vs. T & A (w/ Trish Stratus)

Chyna throws her roses into the crowd.......Trish gets a huge response ..... the local boys next to me almost have heart attacks from sudden erections......Test with a tilt-a-whirl slam on Eddie, followed by a big boot......Albert gorilla-presses Eddie and slams him down......one of Trish's men hits Blackman with the kendo stick.... and that's it? Win by pin: T & A. Hmm....that was way short.

Kurt Angle opens a limo door for Stephanie, and gets to plant a kiss on her cheek. The live crowd's hearts flutter and their mouths open. Big freak-out. It was kinda cool.

Commericials. I see a sign "I Paid $40 To See Paul Bearer."

The Right To Censor group comes out to a ton of boos and jeers, although they get brownie points with the crowd for showing Lita's freeze-framed "undergarments" on the TitanTron.

MATCH #2 Right To Censor vs. The Hardy Boyz & Lita

As expected, solid effort by the Hardys and not much from the other guys.......Bull drops Jeff Hardy over the top rope.....LITA chant...... I really don't like Bull Buchannan, especially right in front of me...........hot tag to Matt Hardy, who hits Bull with a flying clothesline......Jeff Hardy flies from the top turnbuckle to hit Steven Richards against the barricade with a flying plancha, but Steven pushes Bull into the offense instead........double DDT by Matt...... Lita comes in with a botched moonsault on the Goodfather that looked to whack him right in the face with her foot...... Lita with a flying crossbody to the outside.... she gets nailed with a Stevie-kick .....she's rolled back in, the Goodfather does something to her and scores the pin. Winner by pinfall: RTC. Out of nowhere, Edge and Christian fly down to the ring with chairs and try to whack Lita simultaneously; Matt Hardy shoves her away. Christian plants Matt with his finisher on a chair for his troubles.

We see a vignette with the Acolytes and Kaientai doing something at the Friendly Tap, most likely drinking. During this, Matt Hardy lies in the ring while refs scurry down the ring, Lita helps him up, and the refs support him to the back. He's fine, just in time for commercials. Edge and Christian come down to the ring for a sit-in protest against the "bucketful of heinosity" that they've had to endure. Once again, the tactful people of my section are screaming a bunch of F-YOU's at them for some more Rhode Island slams; I just laughed. At this point, not many people are standing for entrances 'cause they're tired, myself included.

Mick Foley out again, accusing them of lacking testicular fortitude, and gives them a match at SummerSlam against the Dudleys and the Hardy Boyz. Kudos to Michaelangelo for knowing that Mick was going to announce the stipulation of a "TLC" match before Mick said a word about it; I was impressed. "Tables and Ladders and Chairs." Edge and Christian leave, all disgruntled-like.

Commericals. They announce that the Undertaker is next, and while we're waiting for the cameras to turn back on, we hear the revving of the motorcycle engine. People go nuts.

And now.

The burning CRZ question that he's been asking for weeks.

What do they do with the steps for the Undertaker's motor-circle around the ring?

Answer: they lean them vertically against the barricades.

That's all. Sorry it's not more exciting, CRZ.

Bob Backland suddenly shows up on the other side of the arena! I saw him and shrieked it out like a true mark. I am, I am.

A HUGE HUGE pop for the Undertaker. The whole crowd sings along,and pumps their fists during the "Hey, Hey" part, more than you might guess. A selected few mark out for Chris Benoit, while everyone else booed like crazy.

MATCH #3 Chris Benoit vs. The Undertaker

I didn't see the match.

This is what I heard; this steady stream in my right ear:

"Undertaker with his two moves.... come on, Undertaker punch and kick! Do your thing! Yeah, kick his ass Benoit, Undertaker, more like "Under-Acher" all he does is ache 'Ow my knee my back my side!'"

I never said I loved a cool cat, my friends. <grin>

But I did see what happened after the wrestling.

Shane MacMahon comes flying in with a chair to the Undertaker; Chris Benoit slaps on the Crippler Crossface; I think Michaelangelo had an orgasm.

Suddenly Kane's fire SOARS into the air and scares the living SHIT out of me. It is loud. And HOT. The arena simultaneously leaned back from the heat rushing forth. Kane rushes the ring and clears it, helps the Undertaker to his feet.....

And chokeslams the Undertaker!!!! Twice!! Holy crap, this is great!

The arena is going nuts, and everyone gets even louder when Kane chokeslams the Undertaker straight through the mat! To add to that badness, Kane rides off with the motorcycle as well, and raises a hand to the crowd on his way back.

(What the hell.... why is he turning heel?)

They bring out the stretcher, the refs, Sgt. Slaughter makes an appearance. Of course, since he's a bad ass, he doesn't need help, he gets the big cheers as he sells his arm injury. Or is it rib?

Commercials. Everyone leaps in and starts to fix the ring. A couple of refs brought in thin planks of wood, which they slid underneath. The cloth canvas is straightened and re-tied, the springs underneath are checked and they're done after Mike Chioda jumps and tests out the new ring section.

Backstage, we see Shane MacMahon lecture Kurt Angle on not wrecking HHH and Stephanie's marriage. Kurt is aghast.

Kaientai is still with the Acolytes.

Commericals. During this, Jerry Lawler leaves the broadcast table to great cheers; he slaps a few high-fives on the way.

As expected, Tazz is out. I readily admit that I think his live entrance is one of the coolest out there. I really, really like it. Anyways, he tries to punk out Jim Ross, but Crash Holly comes out for a match.

MATCH # 4 Tazz (who looks like an M&M) vs. Crash Holly

Big chant of ELROY......within seconds, Taz locks on the Tazmission and gets the win. We're talking a minute match here, and that sucks. Win by submission: Tazz. Immediately, Tazz goes to shove JR to the ground. A big JERRY chant, and he obligies. Jerry Lawler flies to the ring followed by a stream of referees, and attacks Tazz. They're pulled apart.

Kurt Angle meets up with "Just Joe" to hear that someone will be waiting for him in the parking lot in a half hour.

Commericials. Lawler re-joins JR and gets re-dressed; another big YANKEES SUCK chant occupies the time, as well as a little beach ball that got bounced all the way from the balconies to the front row.

MATCH #5 D-Generation X vs. Rikishi Phatu (handicap match)

Some guy behind me was singing every word to the RUN DMC / DX song very loudly and proudly.......a good reaction for Road Dogg's spheel, I was surprised.......Rikishi doesn't look like he's 400lbs in real life......Rikishi whips around the two of them for a while.....XPAC SUCKS chant scattered throughout.....the ring shakes loudly when Rikishi falls.....Road Dogg and X-Pac slap on a trapezoid claw submission hold on Rikishi.... has anyone ever won with that move? ........big cheers for the Stinkface on Road Dogg,which was used for a very long time.....out of nowhere, X-Pac hits the &^%$#@ X-Factor; Dogg and himself pile ontop for a three count pin. Winner by pinfall: D-Generation X. The beatdown begins, but Too Cool makes the save.

They dance; it was amusing, I've never seen it in person before. I have to say that Rikishi has the best rhythm of the three of them. They all walk out single-file, Too Cool slaps a few hands but Rikishi doesn't even look back.

Commercials.

Triple H is set up by "Just Joe" to go and meet someone in the parking lot. Wonder who.

Commercials. Tony the announcer tries to get us to rush to the merchandise stands for $3.99 yellow sunglasses. Some drunk guy keeps standing up with a sign of the Rising Sun and grinning at the arena. I don't know either.

Some TV Guide shilling.

Kurt Angle is pacing in the backstage parking lot.

CHRIS JERICHO!!! Loud pyros, loud boyfriend. Mike hurt my ears by yelling into them to watch Val Venis's entrance video to prove that this new gimmick is supposed to be raver-esque. Huge pop for Jericho; very cool.

MATCH #6 Chris Jericho vs. Val Venis (w/Trish Stratus)
Intercontinental Championship on the line.....Venis has some sporty new tights to go with his sporty/party/strip club video; now he looks like every other average solid tech-wrestling guy......whee.......Val Venis slaps a Camel Clutch on Jericho.... inseguri by Jericho gets a big pop, as well as a flying back elbow.....bulldog by Jericho sets Venis up for the Lionsault, which he hits perfectly....... Jericho goes for the pin.... Trish jumps up to distract the ref and Chris Benoit storms down to the ring, attacking Jericho with a vengeance.....Jericho tries to put him in the Lion Tamer, Val Venis attacks...... Benoit is all over Jericho, shoving referees to big boos.....puts Jericho in some form of half-leg choke submission (no, not the crossface) as everyone tries to separate them.....Benoit leaves Jericho in a heap with a big smile on his face.

In the parking lot, HHH meets up with Angle. They get in each other's faces and start yelling.... until a black limosuine almost hits and separates them. The door is about to open.....

Commercials. The audience groans. At this point, Jericho hauls himself up and sells that injury all the way up the ramp. The crowd loves him, and he waves to everyone before heading backstage. The tech guys near the stage are setting up something. Bob Backland appears again! Some fan gets in Backland's face and drives him out.

Shot of what just happened with HHH, Angle and the limo.

Back to the Friendly Tap, where Taka is a little loopy. Funaki is passed out on a table. I guess Taka says something to tick off Bradshaw and Faarooq, because Taka shortly hereafter gets dropped through the hanging pool table lights, while Funaki is slammed into the jukebox and then the pinball machine.

Al Snow is at WWF New York.

Who was in the limo?

VINCE MACMAHON!!!! The place goes nuts! He stares down HHH and Angle, and tells them that if either of them ever tramatize his daughter again, neither man will be employed by the WWF.

Commercials. Everyone is frenzied from the Vince appearance. Example: Tim White comes out to rousing cheers.

Time for the main event. Kurt Angle's pyros scare the living crap out of me; I completely forgot that he had them. HHH has a big face reaction, smattered with boos. Shane is Shane. The Dudleys are way loved, and the girls SCREAMED for the Rock. I mean screamed. I hate girls who do that, and especially boys who do that too.

MAIN EVENT HHH & Kurt Angle & Shane MacMahon vs. The Dudley Boyz & the Rock

Buh Buh Ray takes it to HHH....the Rock is tagged in and does the "just bring it" to an arguing HHH and Angle....Rock gets Angle..... side Russian legsweep on Angle.....WE WANT TABLES chant.....Shane shucks and jives and gets laid out.....ref takes a bump when the Dudleys do that groin headbutt on HHH.....D-Von yells for the table and Buh Buh sets it up outside. The Rock takes Shane and throws him over the top rope into the Dudley's eager hands..... before they can powerbomb Shane through the table, Edge and Christian make the save and brawl with the Dudleys....HHH and Angle double team the Rock and kick his ass..... Olympic Slam by Angle, followed by a Pedigree..... Rock is left lying in the ring, while tons of shit is thrown into the ring and HHH's music plays as he kicks the referee. The boy low-blow the Rock and Shane delivers an elbow, then they stand in corners towards the crowd and celebrate.

AFTER THE SHOW ENDED

Shane and HHH kick out the bottles littering the ring. Angle and HHH pick up the Rock to throw him into the ropes, Rock makes a stunning comeback and double clotheslines the two of them. Rock Bottom on Shane, then HHH. Buh Buh Ray sets the table up in the ring, takes Angle and powerbombs him through the table to a crowd roar (nice bump) They play the Dudley's music and give the 3D to HHH. People's Elbow on HHH. The Rock makes the 3D sign at the Dudleys and they leave.
This is the interesting part.
HHH helps up Kurt Angle as they play HHH's music. Everyone was holding their breath, waiting for HHH to attack him, but he didn't. Instead they went up the ramp together, and just before they entered the curtain, HHH dropped down, rolled Angle up in a little schoolboy, then jumped up with his hands in the air and darted backstage. I found it funny, like a little "gotcha" moment.

AND JUST IN CASE YOU WERE CURIOUS............

Steven Richards was a little shaken up after his out-of-ring bump during the Goodfather & Bull Buchanan vs. Hardy Boyz match. If you missed the spot, Jeff Hardy dove through the 2nd rope and clocked Richards in the noggin with a stiff kick that kept him down for a good 30 seconds after the move has occurred. Richards was OK after the match, and just needed some ice.

The reason why Rikishi kept the stink-face on Road Dogg so long tonight on RAW during the X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi match is because Rikishi and Road Dogg are traveling buddies (and good friends) and Rikishi did it as a rib. Road Dogg was close to bursting out laughing while in the move, but held his composure.

Kane turning heel was not planned and was a last minute adjustment made. The reason for this is due to the Big Show suffering from back spasms and not being able to work the show.

So that's it. I'm exhausted. Hope it was worth the read.

This is CyanIndigo.

CyanIndigo
[slash] wrestling