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WWF in Worcester |
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Guest columnist: Erik Mansur |
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Whats up guys? I am an avid reader of both OO, and the recaps, so I decided
to bring a small voice recorder to SmackDown at the Worcester Centrum, so I
could better remember what had happened. That way, I can send you guys the
phat-ass spoilers. I hope you guys put me in the columns...but anyways: I
guess you could call me a "smart," I have been one for years, so much of my
opinion shows up in here. I'll stop talking, lets get to the recaps:
We sit down at like 7:51, they are waaaay late in letting us in. All the Heat stuff is set up and ready. We get a dark match: the Dupps, v. some other jobbers (couldnt get the names). Crowd is asleep. Dupps get the victory. Some kind of brother team, and they are in need of some development in their developmental contract. Next up is the Rock and WyClef performance. They do the first verse, and the Rock couldnt get the whole crowd into it. WE kind of just stood there, watching what was going on. Apparantly, Worcester fans are not WyClef fans, no matter how you slice it. The entrance by Clef and the Rock ruled: Rock's music, rising from the stage a la Gangrel. Pretty phat. Will look good for the Source Awards. Joey Abs, sans Mean Street Gap Wear, v. Bob Evans in the next dark match. Sub par match, Abs goes over after some kind of Razor's Edge powerbomb. Call it the "Joey-Bomb." Crowd not into this one either, cheers just as it ends, asking for forgiveness, apparantly. Kurt Angle comes out to a huge pop for his Heat match. Following after him is Matt Hardy, and Lita, who also gets a huge pop. Match goes back and forth, no totally awesome spots, but good enough for Heat. Lita comes into the ring to deliver the 'Rana to Angle, from the top, always a great spot with her. Yet Angle still holds out. Real long match for Heat. Steph comes out to help out Angle! She punks out Lita, and tosses the Women's belt to Angle, who *clobbers* Hardy. Olympic Slam. Pins for the three. Steph walks back with Angle, happy that they won. Y2J cuts a looong promo. He has the crowd in his hands. He rants about Benoit, how he will come at him on his deathbed, yada yada yada. Finally finishes, after saying much, but not really *saying* anything, if you catch my drift. Pops the crowd. T & A comes out to a big pop, probably just for Trish, who looks hot. She always looks hot. RTC walks out, and takes their time, to let that damn music ring in my ears for sooo much longer than it needs to. These guys are sooo over as heels, the crown hates them. But they are supposed to, I guess. Stevie takes Trish to the back, b/c she is "scantily clad." Crowd gets even more pissed at him. Decent match, typical Heat match. Albert had Goodfather in Military Press, Richards comes in and delivers a Stevie-Kick to Albert, RTC pins and wins. That damn "music" again. Oh god it hurts. Lo Down. Yes! Chaz and D'Lo! Woo-Hoo. I am definitly watching Heat. They face the Joe & Snow Connection (my name, it has a familiar ring to it). Just Joe has the corniest music ever, and both he and Al Snow walk out to it. D'Lo: accidently paralyzes a co-worker, instantly pushed into terrible tag team, and relegated to Heat and Jakked. Droz: smiling, hurt, but smiling. Neither team does anything to write home about, Snow goes for a high risk maneuver, and gets a wheel pulled from underneath him by Perry Saturn, who runs in. Lo-Down does the Power & Glory finisher, gets the pin, yet Joes does not run in to stop it. This pisses off Snow, who runs Joe into the back. Beginning of Heat is mad loud in a small venue, and now Malenko has his own damn music, that sound terrible, and just doesn't fit. Then, all of the sudden, the familiar latin sounds of Papi Rios...Essa Chulo...uhhh, whatever, echo throught the arena. WE havent seen this one before. Malenko beats Rios in a short Heat opener, that has no familiar Essa or Dean spots. But! Dean is still the best damn wrestler in the business, and it shows by being able to carry matches like these. Jerry Lawler gets great pop and "Jerry" chant as he comes to the ring for commentary duties. SmackDown starts as HHH, SMH, King Kurt, and Simba come out. They give a looong promo about family unity. Angle apologizes to HHH for calling him names. HHH apologizes to Kurt for calling him a woman for crying on the medal podium "like a broad." Crowd laughs it up. They shake hands, unified. Foley comes out to a huge pop, does his schtick in rebuttal to the heel bullshit. He says that one of the 4 of them has to face Rocky tonight, in a non-title match. Foley shows footage of the Angle-Steph kiss, riles up HHH. He says that they have to decide amongst themselves who gets the Rock tonight. Foley mocks "Survivor" in his promo, to big pop, play his music, go to commercial. Promo from backstage: HHH and Angle fight over who should get the shot. Steph and Shane will discuss this by themselves. HHH and Angle, alone, keep bantering. Air Raid!!! Perry and Terri come out for mixed tag match, v. Kat and Rikishi. Just a flat-out silly match. Nothing special, except for extra loong spot: who should Rikishi do the stinkface to? Kat sets up Terri. She gets it. And Phatu dances with Lawler's chick in his arms. Boy, that makes the King mad. Another Promo from the back: Decision still trying to be made - Shane decides that he will face the Rock. Angle and HH arent happy. But i guess it's set. The Hispanics come out to big pop. Eddy v. Val ('Rave Party') for the IC title. Not a bad match, per se. Trish slams Chyna in her head with a vase, Eddy out to look at her, he gets rolled up. Another successful title defense for Val Venis: the man without a gimmick. A filler match, furthering the feud. Yet Another Promo from the back: Steph wants the Rock, in a Champion v. Champion match. (note to WWF writers: load Steph up with titles, Hardcore, European, IC, etc. Make her Lance Storm, except a woman. Mock those southern bastards!) Shane tells her she is a nutcase. Go to Commercial! Shill for WWF Souvenir Stand. Buy tickets, buy stuff. Make us richer. From the Commisioner's office: Chyna is pissed. She wants Trish. (Not in that way.) He says, wait for SummerSlam where you and Eddy face Val and Trish in a mixed doubles match. Oh Boy. Am I psyched or what? APA and Crash come out to huge pop, and "last week on Raw, from the local tavern." They face Kaientai and Big Boss Man. Match is total bullshit. BBM leaves ringside after being punked out by APA. Kaientai is no match for BradshawBomb and Dominator. Crash (the legal man, silly), gets the pin. Note: APA leaves ring like the Rockers used to do - one hand ring dismount: look for it! Yet Another God Damn Promo from the back: Steph has a plan - HHH will face Rocky, its his turn (his "Time?"). Angle feels that he isnt part of the family. He storms off, pissed. HHH is smug, like he ate the canary. He is awesome, and there are some serious Hunter shills in the crowd. Jericho comes out to his usual huge pop. He is just the guest commentator for this match. Its actually Blackman (the hardcore God) v. Benoit (Canadian Bad-Ass) for the hahdcowah (say it like you're from Mass!) title. Blackman is the innovator of violence. He dominates the hardcore parts. Benoit does the technical shit. Mocks Kidman v. Franchise by bringing a strap into the match. Crowd is dead, and they shouldn't be. In the words of Bobby the Brain: "damn humanoids." Cool leather spots. Shane involved, Benoit eventually gets the Cross-legged Crossface on Blackman, and Jericho wont stand for it. He introduces Mr. Chair to the contest. Blackman pins the knocked-out Benoit. Jericho runs after Shane. Benoit gets the actual Crossface onto Blackman, as *millions* of Refs come out to stop it. One More Promo from the back: Angle is leaving. He knows where he is not wanted. He is off like a prom dress. But wait! Steph wants him to come back, he is part of the family. Angle says he has been "voted off the island." He stalks off. Steph shows genuine concern. Say what you will, Steph is a great part of this promotion. The Suicide Blondes come out. I think I know them. They will face the team of D-Von Dudley and Jeff Hardy. Buh-Buh shows a bad shiner at the hands of E and C. D-Von kneels for Jeff's flying corner thing. Jeff does D-Von's wasssup spot. Cool spots. At the end, Jeff tries to break up Edge's pin of D-Von with the Swanton, but Edge moves. Edge re-covers, and gets the win. Dudleys pissed off, Hardys also pissed off. Make the TLC thing worthwhile, right? RTC out again. Damn annoying music. All they do is cut a promo. But its sooo good. Bull sounds like Jimmy Swaggert, and Goodfather like a baptist preacher. This is almost religious in nature. They are both very good on the Mic in this fashion. I am impressed. Huge "Asshole" chant. And, they are the most over heels in the fed. Hands down. Tazz sneaks from behind and puts the TAzzmission on Jerry. He is an asshole, I guess, and Lawler goes to the back. DX comes out *2 face* 2Cool. Road Dogg and x-Pac have problems. Kane comes out and chokeslams them both. He tells us why he did the same to the UT: "I am a monster." Great. UT is walking, out to the ring. Big pop for Kid Rock. He gets in the ring. He and Kane have heated words. Kane punks him out, maybe does a blade job on the outside. I guess this is a heel-turn for Kane. UT is still waaay over as a face. Lawler comes back to massive "Jerry" pop. HHH is ready for the Rock, with Shane and Steph in tow. Foley comes out and makes it a McMahon free match, drags the sibs back with him. HHH v. Rock, alone. At Raw: Steph defends the title v. Lita, and Shane v. Blackman for Hardcore. He makes the deals as he takes the Macs back w/ him. As always, huge pop for Rocky. I'm not going to spoil the actual match, b/c like almost all HHH v. Rock contests, it wasnt that bad. So, I'll just say that HHH goes over after Angle run-in. The *steel* chair is involved. Lots of HHH fans in this crowd. More smarts in MA than I thought. Like I say, HHH and Angle walk back together, unified. Rock in middle of the ring, roll credits. After the cameras stopped: Rock wants to send the fans home happy. He calls them back out. He takes them both out with Rock-Bottoms. He gives HHH the People's Elbow. He walks off with the belt, to a huge pop. HHH and Angle get up, HHH grabs the stick: "I just want to let you fans in Providence know...oh yeah, its another Crap-hole, Worcester...that Kurt Angle and I are okay." They go home, and send the fans home smiling. Not a bad HHH v. Rock match. Shaping up to be a good SummerSlam. I am tired, and I am done. Rick, CRZ, put me in the columns...please? It would be very much appreciated. Anyways, thanks for being part of the best wrestling website ever. Im a die-hard Wrestleline fan. Anyways, peace out.
"The IceMan" Erik Mansur
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