Main
BLAH |
WOW AT THE FORUM
Your insipi... err, intrepid on-site arena guy is once again on the case!
Looks like I'll be having some competition from 1wrestling.com this time
around. Not that I mind, more exposure is more exposure. Besides which
they seem to have picked up on a couple things I missed hearing, like the
announcement of a second WOW PPV in April... whoopsie.
I had a bit of a quandary with whether to do this or not because of possible
PPV spoilers, but since they didn't do anything blatant (and since other
spoiler reports are already being posted anyhow), I'm forging ahead.
There's certainly hints for the observant of course, but I'm not going to
comment on them for the most part. Buy the dang PPV. Dangit.
I arrived at the Forum around 6:10 and instantly sense something's
different... namely, I can't score the usual posh parking spot due to there
being a lot more cars. I'm not going to go so far as to say the lot was
jammed, but compared to the other shows? Huge difference. The doors aren't
opened yet and a huge crowd is milling around both entryways, which is
another change. Usually the comp lines stay down in the lot until they
start letting people in-- there are a couple of comp lines in that spot, but
most everyone else is at the doors. This is a BIG turnout, especially for
so early... but how many of these folks are paid admissions? I'm betting
most aren't.
Tonight "WOWser" from the wowe.com webboard is flying out from New
Hampshire to attend again. If you'll remember my last report, someone sent
Jane Blond roses. That someone was WOWser (yes, he has a real name but I
never asked if it was okay to use it, so I'll err on the side of caution).
So after cunning e-mail arrangement betwixt all three parties, tonight the
sacred mission is to once again find Jane after the show with WOWser fully
in tow so Ms. Blond can meet her floral benefactor. I certainly wasn't
averse to meeting Jane for my own nefarious purposes as well, but when a guy
comes out from New Hampshire, twice, he deserves some quality time!
In the Will Call line I see some of those paper "VIP" admissions being
traded in, and peering at the name signed on them... well, shucks if it
ain't Randi Rah Rah! That pretty much confirms the news that she's back,
I'd think. These are buddies of hers, and seem pretty excited to be part of
things. Cool.
As I leave the Will Call line a guy trots over to say my sign (JANE
BLOND'S CIA LIAISON) looks familiar. WOWser? Yep! All right, phase one of
the plan is complete. Funny that after all the "this is what I'll wear",
etc. messages exchanged it's my cheesy sign that clinches recognition.
Oh, did I mention I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt and brought my Ray-Ban's?
One Felix Leiter impression coming up! Or is it Jack Wade...? *takes a
moment to peruse the wonders of the internet* Ah, 'tis Mr. Wade...
Of course, I just have a strange love for Hawaiian shirts in and of
themselves. F Madden, he stole *my* gimmick, I tell you!
We're inside and WOWser procedes to put a sizeable dent in the merchandise
stand inventory, God bless 'im. He's in section A and I'm in section D
though, so I bid him adieu until after the show.
As I enter the arena proper the lady there is telling everyone "Just sit
anywhere, it doesn't matter". Argh. I have a sinking feeling I'm going to
be fighting for my seat with Loge Louses again. Plus: the actual stairway
to the floor is being manned and only those with floor tickets are allowed
to pass. Minus: that stairway is *far* from the only route to the floor
seats, and the general admission crowd is flowing in like a tide with the
blessings of the door staff. Plus: A manager on the floor is going around
getting the GA's back up where they belong... these comped people are a
rowdy bunch, he's gonna be in for a long night. He already looks like he's
ready for an Ironman match with a whiskey bottle.
Although the GA's weren't happy with the seating crackdown, I was,
especially after that debacle last time. The staffers up top are at greatly
to blame for the confusion, I hope the party line gets all straightened out
for the PPV.
Even though I've been here before I'm really not sure where section D is,
and I keep getting all sorts of answers. I finally ask the harried manager
who directs me right to it. At least one guy's got his stuff together.
Maybe I'll buy him that whiskey...
TofuNinja (again from the wowe.com board) and his crew are supposed to be
sitting with me, but there's no sign of them yet. In the meantime we're
treated to a WOW broadcast on the big screens, which turns out to be the one
from this coming week (or this week, if you're in Canada).
A kid clambering out on orders from the seating manager hooks and
partially tears my sign. *grumble* The seats around me keep filling up and
getting vacated as GA's arrive and are informed to please sit up in the Loge
area.
Looking over at section A I see WOWser, and also catch sight of my
neighbors from the 11/17 taping, Bob and his boy Sean. Guess they liked
what they saw enough to make a return trip, plus go ringside this time.
The real ringsiders are starting to fill in now, and with the Loge folk
back up top... whoa... this is the fullest I have *ever* seen this arena for
a WOW show. The upper levels on the side in back of the main cameras are
empty (and won't be on TV, so big deal), but everywhere else it's packed
almost to the top. If even a quarter of these people become paying
attendees it'll be substantial. First time's free, kiddies...
7:10, video is still playing, still no sign of Tofu & co.
7:12 and McLane, Marshall and Griffon are out. McLane stops to hobnob
with some front row folks... I don't recognize them but I took a picture
that I'll post around, maybe someone else will. Yes, my brand spankin' new
digital camera is in tow and with a 32MB mem card, allowing for almost 400
pictures on standard resolution! Yes, Pinky, this will be a night of
gratuitous excess indeed...
The Tofu crew arrives right around this time as well and I wave them over.
They're big Slam Dunk fans... other than that, nice group of guys. ;-)
They've made up several signs.
- DROP TOE HOLD ! in four parts (I get the exclamation point, woo!).
- Slam Dunk's pic pasted onto a Wheaties box.
- Several "ZESTY!" signs (as a useless bit of trivia, I actually was a
Theater major in college with the red-haired gent in that commercial).
- Ah, and my special request I had them make up for me: "THE PAIN IN MY
BRAIN COMES MAINLY FROM MCLANE". How lovely that we're sitting second row
back, just to the side of the announce table. Muahaha and all. Oh who am I
kidding, it'll never get on the air...
Okay, the hipsters are IN DA HOUSE! They usually do camera focusing
during these segments as well, so I slip on my sunglasses and hold my sign
aloft... Lotus has said that she and others will often gather backstage at a
monitor to see what signs or other craziness are out front. Speaking of
signs, the plant handouts have finally commenced, much later than usual.
What's funny is these guys actually introduced each other this time, but I
only caught "Bill" as the name of the less spiky haired gent. Now they're
only 50% anonymous. They're throwing out the t-shirts, wanting us to bring
da noise... and...
Ice Cold & Poison out, shoving them aside and taking their mics?!? THAT's
new! They shill for the haircut match, running down Lana... culminating in
their display of a proposed "Bald Lana" portrait. Ha! The refs are out at
McLane's behest to remove them from the ring.
I have a feeling this spot isn't going to air, due to it interrupting a
pre-show warm up. However, I did get a great picture of the Sinead O' Star
poster for you viewers at home.
The red carpet is being rolled out as McLane tells us to get ready. Three
guesses who the first wrestler out for the actual show will be...
"Welllllllcome... to WOW!!" (*boom*)
Speaking of boom, a sign (planted?) wishes Boom Boom happy birthday. Odd,
on the website her birthday is listed as Oct. 6th, and the birthdays are
usually legit.
WOWser's not in his seat? Where'd he disappear to?
Ah well, here's Lana out, once again with her "favorite possession"...
that bag of Ice Cold's hair. She has some banter with McLane that brings up
her putting Randi Rah Rah out of action, and McLane says that he's got a
surprise for her. Randi is back!
And here she comes! With an EYEPATCH! Arr, mateys!
Jesus that's weird seeing a cheerleader with an eyepatch. Half of the
effect is totally silly and half of it's quite scary. Do the Raiderettes
ever wear eyepatches?
The bell rings and a ref is on scene... I guess we have a match! Randi
dominates the first part , including a 10-punch on the turnbuckle, legdrops
on the arm... no ring rust here! Lana does the heel bit of rolling outside
for breathers, eliciting HUGE heel heat from the crowd. Randi's out to
chase her and of course Lana runs around to slide back in and take the upper
hand as Randi follows. Facelift! And whoa... front dropkick off the
turnbuckles by Lana! Now Lana's got Randi and is pulling the eyepatch
off... GLASS EYE! HAHAHA!!!! (Yes, I can laugh, it's a work. Looked nice
and grotesque though, all milky blue in the pupil.) Now here comes Patti
Pizzazz with the makeup kit... this ought to be interesting. Lana wants a
mirror and Patti is fiddling with the kit, trying to get it open... Randi
with the roll-up from behind! 1...2...3!
Randi all but ignores Patti as she leaves, meanwhile PP and Lana are
having heated words in the ring. Was it an accident or did Patti
intentionally dawdle? Hmmm...
Randi still has the same entrance video/music by the way, in case you were
wondering.
Jungle Grrrl is out to fight... Jane Blond! Oh bloody 'ell, so much for
my favorite agent picking up a second 'W'. Hope she at least gives a good
show of things.
JG's obviously grown her hair out, and seems to have decorated it with
some leaves. Heh. I like.
As Jane enters I'm whooping, screaming, and holding up my big sign,
prompting seething hatred and "SIDDOWN!" cries from the people behind me.
After careful consideration I decide that they can just SUFFER. The match
hasn't started yet, after all. Wooo, Jane!!
I'm well aware that I'd be terribly annoyed if the roles were reversed.
Allow me my dash of hypocrisy, won't you?
You know, I was going to take my sunglasses off at some point but never
did. They actually cut down on the spotlight glare, which was nice.
JG interrupts Jane's posing with a dropkick off the top. Throw to the
ropes... side belly to belly suplex! Jane gets in her share of offense,
which I appreciate -- she seems to rapidly be assuming a "Jobber to the
Stars" role, but at least she gets to look good in the matches. Whoa, Jane
up with a flying headscissors on JG! Not to be outdone, JG debuts yet
another new (and, of course, perfectly executed) move, planting Jane with a
modified Michinoku Driver! Here's the superplex spot, and the swandive
splash (again, perfect) gets 3. Post-match JG gets the mic and asks McLane
how many more she has to demolish before she gets her rightful title shot.
My sign got filmed, yay!
Roxy Powers is out next to talk with McLane, and they replay her encounter
with Slam Dunk on WOWvision. Roxy talks some smack, which of course brings
out the Dunkster to take exception. A couple ladies behind me are Roxy's
buddies... good, maybe between them and me we can counter the Tofu crew's
Dunk worship. ;-) More trash talk is exchanged and then Dunk is in the
ring, and now THAT was a chokeslam! Dunk jumped, Roxy jumped, and the
result was tons, tons, tons better looking... probably at least in part
because Dunk got her legs behind it instead of just her arms. Another
chokeslam nails Josh Milton, just to prove it wasn't a fluke. Now she's
taking off Josh's belt...??!? Uhh... should we be watching this...? Oh!
Oh yes, there's to be a strap match tonight-- whew. Slam whipping away at
Roxy until the refs break it up. Roxy officially challenges Slam to the
aforementioned strap match. Which thankfully in WOW is not called a
"spanking" match (what the hell was that supposed to be, anyhow, besides an
excuse to pants Trish Stratus?).
Thug is out with Harley's Angels, and our section proves itself to be
ardently pro-Thug in response. Peggie Lee has one of the greatest s**t
eating grins on the planet... and like a good heel she answered our support
with her Pennsylvanian Good Luck Sign, a.k.a. the fongool.
She's up against Bronco Billie, who's all by her lonesome. Hrm... I think
the odds are a bit stacked against Double B tonight. The Angels start by
knocking Billie's hat off (How very 19th century of them, the bounders!),
then Thug takes over with her Tree of Woe spot. Billie tries to go for her
Crucifix and Thug Samoan Drops her, ha! There's that grin again. And now
Billie dropped across the knee in a rib-breaker! It's been a long time
since Thug got a squash opportunity and man is she making the most of it.
Whoops, Billie moving aside as Thug charges... full-speed shoulder into the
STEEL turnbuckle! Crikey, that almost knocked her mullet off! Billie
trying for the Bulldog... Thug backdrops her! Standing CHOKESLAM flattens
BB. And now Thug dragging her over... Thugbomb off the second rope! I
guess she's going to use that as her finisher -- and why not when it makes
the entire ring shudder and the whole crowd go "OOOH!"
Did I mention there was a 3 count after that? Stellar serving of squash.
Post-match Thug gets the mic and issues a challenge to Terri Gold... McLane
announces to us it'll be tonight's Main Event.
And now... it's RIOT!!! And she's PULLING THE FRONT OF HER PANTS DOWN AS
SHE STRUTS. Oh that is just not fair. Not fair at all. Has she no mercy?
Silly question, I guess.
Well, now it's "Sing Along With The Riot" time as she lets the audience
fill in her catchphrases. The Riot chant begins and she pauses in
mid-speech to listen, which of course the Rock has long since proven will
cause it to increase to ear-shattering levels. Of course I never joined in
on Rocky chants... I think I'm scaring the poor girls sitting next to me
with my enthusiasm...
Riot's opponent tonight... "Sunny!" It's Sandy coming down the ramp, but
hey, that's what Thomas Griffith said. I watched him as he left the ring
and he was chuckling and shaking his head, obviously knowing he'd flubbed.
Voice-over time! ;-)
Ooh, Riot drags Sandy out of the ring and proceeds to work her over. The
fans want "Table!" and she picks up Sandy and holds her over the announcers
for a good 5 seconds before slamming her... on the mat. That TEASE! Back
in the ring eventually... whoa, Sandy just threw a most non-WOW dropkick,
one boot connecting solidly with Riot's chin! Some more action and Riot
puts Sandy in the crossface...
(Now here's one thing to consider. Don't pound your hand on the mat while
in a submission hold... that screams "tapout" to a wrestling audience.
Maybe there's not supposed to be any tapouts in WOW, but if so then that'll
have to be explained. I've seen it twice now, once from Jane and now from
Sandy)
Anyhow, despite "tapping out" Sandy gets to the ropes eventually and the ref
makes Riot release. Aha, Sandy with our first DROP TOE HOLD ! of the night!
And now a great looking Sunset Flip takes Riot over... but it's not enough.
Powerbomb, 3 count, that's a wrap.
Next up on the program is The Disciplinarian, who promises to edjumucate
Beckie. This is apparently a result of a challenge Beckie made... or I
guess will make in post-production. THIS time I *will* get a shot of TD
removing her jacket. Here we go as Beckie knocks her to the outside, TD
stalking, and... CAMERAMAN RIGHT IN MY WAY AT THE CRUCIAL MOMENT! Arrgh!
Now the match is underway but another seat controversy is brewing as it
seems the girls next to me are GA's and the true seat owners just showed.
The staffer blocks my view of the ring, then it gets worse because the seats
are in the center so we all have to get up and move. I can sorta see the
Farmer's Roll going on in the background. Okay, now that's all over with...
hmm, Beckie cartwheels out of a snapmare attempt, neat spot. TD ouside
again and Hotshotting Beckie on the top rope as she reaches over. Now back
in, TD throws Beckie to the turnbuckle and Beckie executes a PERFECT,
full-speed hop to the top rope and turnaround into a Missile Dropkick!
Damn, that looked good! Now Beckie's going up top, struggling to get her
balance... and...
450 SPLASH!!! Right on the money! Holy crap! We're on our feet for the
3 count... incidentally I've looked at the pictures I took of this moment,
and the landing is just as good as it gets. I wonder if they'll call it the
"Barnburner" like I want them to. C'mon, doesn't it fit? The whole
airplane daredevil thing, and... ah, nevermind...
Disciplinarian gets to toss Beckie outside post-match, preserving a bit o'
heat. No ruler shot though.
McLane reminds us of the PPV splash match. I need no more reminders than
once again watching Beckie and JG in action tonight. It is going to blow
the roof off. Either that or I'll just overhype it beyond all feasible
limits of hyperbole. ;-)
A new show is begun. Poison out to start, and this time it's just plain
ol' "parts unknown" she hails from... I thought the "toxic unknown" was much
more colorful, personally.
Her opponent, Hammerin' Heather Steele! Steele got her first win at the
12/15 taping, although the match hasn't aired yet. Can she continue her
streak? Is winning one match even considered a streak?
"Tool Chest" chant-- I can neither confirm nor deny my involvement at this
time, Senator. HHS with a running Schoolboy, neat! Only 2, though. Now
the Poison section up in back of me is making themselves heard loudly as
they call their heroine's name. Closer to home this is countered by a big
chant of "Hammer Time!". Poison with a running kneedrop... notice how Ice
Cold is very elbow oriented and Poison is heavy on the knee moves? I have
no idea of the significance, just thought I'd say. Whoops, there's the
Paralyzer... ooh, and Poison folds HHS' hands atop her chest like The
Undertaker used to do. 1... 2... 3! Looks like Heather's back to being a
working girl.
Harley's Angels are out with Thug. They rip on Caged Heat, and also their
next opponents, the Asian Invasion. I feel like Charlie is channeling Hulk
Hogan with her "Whatchu gonna do, when Harley's Angels make roadkill out of
you!" line. Next she'll be calling people "brother", which will be strange
since most of her colleagues are more of a sisterly bent.
Some guys next to me start chanting "Ralphus!" at a big guy at ringside.
Since Bob Ryder made no mention of actually appearing at the taping himself,
I'm going to say this is Memorex.
The match is underway, and I have to say the dropkicks are really starting
to look good across the board tonight, not just from the usual suspects like
Beckie. EZ Rider got way up on the chest with hers-- it was surprising, and
impressive. Lotus got a bit of offense of her own in, including what Tofu
claims was a great looking handspring elbow (I unfortunately was jotting a
note and missed it). EZ slapped Jade off the apron. What would an AI match
be without wedgies galore? Now Charlie and EZ have Jade hooked on either
side... double-team DDT! 3 count from Josh and the Angels win. For good
measure they repeat the move on Lotus and Josh, and give Josh his mandatory
farewell over the ropes... on a Josh scale the fall was reasonably safe,
meaning he didn't impact the barricade this time.
Jeanie Buss is in attendance again and McLane takes a moment to point her
out to everyone.
The strap match is up next! I still don't see any sign of WOWser, what
happened to him? Thomas Griffith takes some time to inform the audience of
the strap match rules. Strap binds the wrestlers together and is legal to
use... touch all four turnbuckles in order to win. Good call by WOW to let
people know the details, especially this crowd where it may be the first
wrestling event for a lot of them.
Hmm, Milton is again the referee for this match... an omen of violence to
come?
The heat is really impressive again, and I'm not just saying that because
Tofu and I were each struggling to shut the other up while cheering our
picks. But I'll say it... Slam has improved. Yes, you heard that right.
I already talked about the chokeslam, now let me say she's getting huge
height on her legdrops, which I swear were coming down from at least 4 or 5
feet in the air tonight. Pretty stiff shots going on with that strap. Slam
misses an off the ropes move and I start up an "Aiiiiiiirball!" chant, much
to Tofu's dismay. Roxy with a Side Russian Legsweep. Double clothesline
spot has both women down... DAMN, it sounds like the whole Forum is chanting
for one or the other to get up! There's of course been the usual teases of
victory... now Dunk chokeslams Roxy and is cockily tapping the buckles and
counting, but Roxy is scooting along behind her also tapping and counting.
Now Roxy yanks Slam down and lunges for the 4th turnbuckle... Slam hanging
onto the strap, Roxy fighting... fighting....
SHE'S GOT IT!!! SLAM LOSES!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
To his credit, when we were talking earlier Tofu admitted that he had a
feeling Roxy would be the first person to score a victory over Slam. He
wanted that pointed out to the public, it makes him feel better or
something. ;-)
McLane is up to shill the PPV again and starts to segue into a little
surprise he has about the commentating... could it be... ohpleaseohplease...
YES!!!! HEENAN AT THE PPV!!!! THE EAGLE HAS LANDED!!! Well, the weasel at
least...
Marshall is funny as he kayfabes on the announcement. "Heenan? You must
really not like me, David." So it looks like Marshall and Heenan. Now I'm
going to have to buy the PPV and tape it in addition to being at the arena
so's I can hear the commentary. :-)
A new show again. Wendi Wheels is out first, and will be fighting...
Summer? Hmm. Well, either Wendi made a heel turn that hasn't played out
yet, or WOW has abandoned its moratorium on face vs. face matches.
We know Summer favors the DROP TOE HOLD ! so we have our signs ready.
Meanwhile here we go... Summer slaps on an early leg scissors that's nicely
sold. Wendi puts on a Sharpshooter, though doesn't lean back on it much.
Here's Summer's surfboard, which I'm expecting to be reversed as usual...
but they mix it up a bit as they struggle and Wendi turns it into a reverse
powerbomb! Nice spot! Summer with a running schoolboy that gets 2, then
out of nowhere we get the Blowout and it's a win for Ms. Wheels. Decidedly
mixed reaction from audience... Summer's pretty popular, this isn't the way
to go if you want them to cheer Wendi. Eh, just turn Wendi heel (or at
least Tweener) and be done with it, I say. Full on heel might be better so
that she doesn't get stuck in reaction limbo.
Some throwing has been going on, and Griffith climbs up to remind us all
that it's not allowed and will result in ejection from the building.
The lights go out and here come the Daughters of Darkness with Goon in
tow... I'm just pondering how much better it looks with the lights dimmed
when a folded up drinkholder smacks me upside the head from behind. Ooh,
good shot sah!
Not that I'm fond of being hit with thrown objects, or fond of the person
who threw it, but at least they were smart enough to do it while no one
could see. Smart little hooligan.
The lights are back on so that should be the end of that. Caged Heat is
unleashed! And they're still merrily ripping up the signs. Good deal...
they're being cheered for, but they've stopped well short of saying vitamins
and taking their prayers-- or was that the other way round?
At the 12/15 taping Tofu & crew were trying their best to offer the Goon a
cookie. Spur of the moment thing, but this time they were back PREPARED.
Sign, cookie box, the works. And they get filmed with it, no less! Poor
Goon, he's right near us again and will have no peace.
Woo! Triple clothesline as DLP and Loca link arms to knock down Misery,
Mystery and Goon all at once! Goon is thrown out and the match gets
underway. DLP getting a bit technical with a hiptoss and an armdrag... she
still looks plenty mean though. Loca tagged in and she's always a blast to
watch, little thing picking people up above her head and slamming them
around like it was nuttin'. WHOA, Irish Whip sends Loca full speed and
chest-first into the turnbuckle a la Bret Hart! Goon meanwhile is doing his
stoically masked best to ignore us... can't have that! "GOON WANTS COOKIES!
<clap clap clapclapclap> GOON WANTS COOKIES!" What suprised me is that it
wasn't just the Tofu crew that joined in.
Poor Goon. Even if he got a cookie, how would he get it through that mesh
over his mouth? Ah, the irony...
Goon gets taken down with a baseball slide before he can ponder this
cookie conundrum further. Incensed (or perhaps trying to escape us), he
grabs a chair and enters the ring... and get WHAZZUP'ed for his troubles!
Unfortunately he's a bit too far across the ring for it to hit right, but
that's what the magic of editing is for...
Josh Milton was ref and amazingly escaped without grevious bodily harm.
Ah yes, Caged Heat won, by the way.
Jungle Grrrl is back for more, her opponent... Hammerin' Heather Steele!
Is that the smell of squash in the air? Oh yes it is. There weren't any
new spots in this match that I remember, so I haven't covered it in detail.
Suffice to say it's good squash, but I'm still waiting to see JG take on
Beckie in what should be more or less even terms.
Did I mention what a work of art JG's splash is? The only top rope moves
I can think of that are around the same level of graceful execution would be
Jeff Hardy's Swanton Bomb or one of Kurt Angle's Moonsaults. Rob Van Dam
wishes his splash were this good...
Post-match, JG promos again about the title.
Next up, Paradise & Farah The Persian Princess take on the Asian Invasion!
All right, you wise guys... call the winner of *this* one! I certainly
can't. I'd love to see either team take home their first 'W', honestly.
My neighbors to my left sing along to Paradise's music with slightly
different (yet traditional) lyrics:
Do your ears hang low?
Do they waggle to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Etc. And damn if it doesn't fit in perfectly with the rhythm. I'll never
be able to hear her entrance again without thinking this. In fact, I ponder
if perhaps this is just the Polynesian version of the song...
Farah's relatives and/or friends have turned out at ringside, a gaggle of
several quite gorgeous young ladies.
Match is underway. Jade has her usual highspots, which thankfully are
looking much safer this time around as I don't notice any heads hitting
canvas. Neat spot where she jumps off the second turnbuckle while holding
onto a headlock and twists it around as they fall back... uhm... Tornado
Headlock Takeover? Now both Farah and Paradise in and Jade has her legs
around one head and her arms around the other... double Samurai Scissors!
If you count the arms portion as another Scissors, anyhow. How about if I
just call it "neato keen"? Lotus is in, off the ropes with a stiff low
dropkick. Now both AI's in and looking for a double suplex... no, Farah
with a double DDT! Paradise tagged in and hits a running fistdrop, then a
throw to the turnbuckles and repeated shoulders to the gut. HUGE Suplex on
Jade! Farah and Paradise both in and they deliver a doubleteam Side Russian
Legsweep to get the 3 count. Guy next to me christens it the "Persian
Paralyzer"... heh.
So, that makes Jade & Lotus the only tag team without a win, if I remember
correctly. Much improvement from the AI though, it's only a matter of time.
Meanwhile, I'm glad to see Farah & Paradise with a victory... I feel this
match proved to my satisfaction my last report's statement that they're
underrated. Paradise especially has a good arsenal going.
Jacklyn Hyde is out next w/ Dr. Sarah Bellum at her side and doll in tow.
JH's hair is longer than last time, which makes the frizzy dark side stand
out. She'll be fighting P-A-T-T-I P-A-T-T-I Patti Pizzazz!
Patti seems to be getting babyface reactions in this match-up... at one
point she scolds Jacklyn for pulling her hair, which was pretty funny.
Jacklyn up once again for the patented Splash-That-Never-Hits(tm). But she
gains control again and there's her Diamond Cutter (The "Splitter" according
to her post on her chatboard)... but Patti kicks out at 2! So we get a
second Splitter. And a third! And... hmm, here's Randi Rah Rah out to
break things up, rescuing Patti? They don't leave arm in arm or anything
though, so I'm still clueless as to the dillio with the former Team
Spirit...
Riot is out again! Oh God, my voice can't take this. My mind can't take
this. She's DANCING now as we chant, though fortunately for my sanity it's
more comical than slinky. Now she's got the microphone. "I... can't...
hear you...!" Ahhh!! We're SORRY!! Mercy, mistress! RIOT! RIOT!!!
Riot shall be fighting Tanja now, and I'm having trouble snapping photos
cuz girl is makin' me laugh imitating Tanja's sword motions with her bat.
Now she's poking at Tanja like a fencer would, heh! You have to wonder what
Riot was doing with herself before she found her calling in Professional
Wrestling. Uhm, on second thought perhaps I should rephrase that...
Tanja is about the same size Riot is, so that's an interesting change.
Enzichesti spot by Tanja. Riot posing shamelessly whenever she's in
control. Here's the Giant Swing from Tanja, impressive... actually I guess
doing that to Thug would be truly impressive. Now came an awesome spot--
Tanja DDT's Riot and rolls along with it, somehow ending up on top in a
pinning position! THAT was cool! Only a 2 count though. Riot puts a head
and arm stretch on Tanja that the latter sells extremely well, not to
mention it looked hella painful with Riot's long legs cinching it. Tanja
keeps countering out of the Powerbomb until Riot finally hits it. Do we
want another one? Does she even have to ASK? Powerbomb #2... and Powerbomb
#3! Jesse Hernandez is warning her all this while but doesn't call for the
DQ, and counts the win. And now Riot will slink and pose for us again in
psychosexy victory... ah, life is good.
Now this is interesting... Jeanie being invited up to the announcer's
table, I guess she's going to do some guest commentary. Yup, she's got a
headset on and is staying put for the next match, which is...
Wendi Wheels fighting Jane Blond! Urgh, smart money says Wheels will
prevail and make Jane 0 for 2 tonight. I'm not too sure about this match,
it seemed like there were some miscues. I'm also not sure how much more
I'll be able to watch the "bridge up into backslide" spot before it becomes
too contrived. Then again I guess it's a signature move for Jane by now, so
hrm. There is a variation here at least as it's Wendi who wins out in the
struggle and Jane kicking out at 2. Jane does a great toe-touching leapfrog
during ropes sequences, can't say Wendi's end was quite as good. Kick of
Death spot missed, or something... in my pictures it looks okay but my
neighbors say Wendi fell down without being hit. Oh well, another job for
the editors I suppose. Now Blond set up on the turnbuckle and Wendi
climbing up with her... is she going to...? Yep! Blowout from the second
rope! And that's a 3 count, damn and blast!
You know another reason to like Jane? She *sells* finishers. When she
gets hit with one she will lie there until she's helped out of the ring.
Might not help a toughgirl reputation, but hell, if you're gonna do the job
to make another lady look impressive, do it right!
Next up, Boom Boom & Caliente (who both get some good noise from the
crowd) are battling the Ladies of Lockdown, Caged Heat!
Boom Boom doesn't take off the skirt. I'm yelling for her to take it off
but she won't take it off! Looks like another night of "hay" in the ring is
coming up.
I hear 2Boom popped out of her top at two points during this match, but I
didn't notice either. The skirt, Boom Boom, not the rest of your outfit!
Anyhow. DLP and Loca promo to start, asking us what time it is, etc. The
match gets underway and is quite good. One neat spot has 2Boom put Caliente
in a Full Nelson and lift her up so she can put a boot to each Caged Heater.
Now tags are made and the Latinas go at it as the crowd roareth. Boom Boom
back in, Banzai Drop HITS!! But the count is broken up before 3. Caliente
against DLP now, Caliente tries her telegraphed crossbody off the turnbuckle
and DELTA SLAMS HER DOWN! YEAH! I don't have anything against Caliente you
understand... I just wanted to see that move countered for once. Setting
Cal up... Hard Times for 3! Capital Punishment for 2Boom! Josh is again
ref, will they get him this time? No, here's Harley's Angels out to BREAK
their pool cues over DLP and Loca's backs! Brawl to the outside, Josh
shoved into crowd (from the floor, not the ring... thank God). Refs out to
break it up as McLane reminds us of the tag team tournament final at the
PPV... and his voice cracks in the middle of his speech, to the crowd's
amusement.
Well, I'll say this for McLane. It's confirmed that he does almost all
the booking for WOW, and the booking of late has been excellent in my
opinion. If only the scripting could catch up...
The ring crew is out to clean up after 2Boom's shedding. Why, why, why
don't they get rid of the skirt? Or at least have her shed it for the match
like Caliente does? Is Boom Boom's butt that bad? I sincerely doubt it, I
(and a good many others) happen to think she's rather gorgeous...
One of the cleanup crew actually responds to our "SWEEP!" chant, raising
his broom in victory! Huzzah!
Josh is still selling that tumble into the crowd. I firmly believe Josh
could survive ground zero of a nuclear bomb blast, so I have trouble
believing this. Unless he finally broke something in what could be the
least of his recent bumps. Irony again...
Alrighty, finally it's main event time! Thug is out, all by herself!
She's going to beat Terri Gold all by her lonesome, it seems. Or Harley's
Angels are indisposed (still brawling with the Heat?).
Anyhow... here's Terri! If you ever come to a live show, be sure to cover
your ears for that "WAKE UP!" pyro of hers, it's a killer. Thug attacking
before the bell but Terri ducks, back and forth, Thug claiming Terri yanked
her hair! That's just so O.G. Terri with a second rope dropkick, and a
crossbody off the top which for a moment looks like it'll cream Josh again
like on 12/15, but this time Josh moves and Thug gets hit! No way does that
put Thug down for three though... she takes control and hangs Terri over her
shoulder in a backbreaker hold! Terri counters to a Sunset Flip--
beautifully done! Thug in control again and everything she does just looks
like destruction incarnate on the Champion Chipmunk. But we know she's a
Hardcore Chipmunk as well and she's not staying down, dagnabbit! Terri
chants are ringing out... Thug chants are ringing out... it's pointed out
that Josh is counting at different speeds, fast when Terri has Thug pinned
and slow when vice-versa. I watch and it seems to be true, don't know if
that's a mistake on Josh's part or part of an insidious story. Thug brings
Terri to the corner-- THUGBOMB!! 1... 2... Foot on the ropes! Thug with a
*massive* Side Russian Legsweep, dragging Terri to the opposite corner...
another Thugbom-- NO! Terri gets the knees up! Terri up for the Perfect
10... NO! Thug moves! They're struggling... DEAFENING "Terri!" chant!
Terri up on Thug's back with a Sleeperhold! Crowd is LOUD! Thug fading...
fading... NO! She rams Terri against the buckle (and Josh as well). Ref is
out, Terri up, Sleeper again applied! Thug is staggering but not down
yet... here comes Selina Majors with a trash can lid! She lifts it up and--
HITS TERRI?!? Selina looks momentarily shocked, an accident? Now she hits
Thug. Now she hits JOSH!! That wasn't an accident! Throwing Thug to the
outside and beating the hell out of her. McLane: "Selina Majors has gone
crazy!" Uh, yeah, I sorta figured that. Thug thrown right into a seated
McLane, who goes down pinned underneath her! OW! Crowd surges around the
action as Selina lays in punches atop the announce table... this *is* crazy!
Gang of refs is finally out to break things up... McLane up to interview
Selina in the ring and she's still got that lid-- I swear I thought she was
going to use it on him, but maybe the camera's have stopped recording.
McLane interviews Selina, mentioning that Thug apparently is refusing the
cage match. Selina allows as how that's too damn bad and she's going to
enjoy rubbing Thug's face against that barbed wire(!). They skip over this
and don't mention barbed wire again in the promo... did Selina just
misspeak, or...? Anyhow, Selina finishes this promo to about the biggest
face heat I've ever heard for her. The crowd also sounds excited about the
PPV. This really charged up the end of the evening.
Yes, you may notice a wrestler was missing from the card tonight. Make of
that what you will.
WOWser turned up, he'd somehow been moved up to the front row which was
why I'd lost track of him. We exited the arena just in time to see Beckie
and Roxy on their way to the autograph table and trailing a swarm of
clamoring kids behind them. And yes, these were "shoot" kids... pretty
cool! The autograph table was a zoo, I couldn't even see to get a camera
shot. Over on the far end Poison and Slam Dunk had a line-up as well,
though not quite as crazy. WOWser wanted Poison's autograph so I told him
I'd go look for Jane in the meantime.
To make a long story short there, mission very much accomplished... not
only a meeting with Jane but several others like Randi, HHS, Tanja, Lotus,
Jungle Grrrl, Disciplinarian, etc., etc. All very cool people. The
Spider-Man movie folks had just recently returned from 3 days of shooting,
and they are indeed part of the entourage for Randy Savage's character.
To add to WOWser's dedication/insanity rating... I found out he had no car
rental plus a bum foot that he hobbled on all the way from his motel on the
other side of the (vast) Hollywood Park racetrack. All he needed was snow
and an uphill slope both ways.
I drove him back.
Cheers! And buy the PPV!
Oh yeah, shout out to Chris Jones, who demanded one for no other reason than
to see his name in print yet again. Happy now, finkus? ;-)
Clint
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