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| WWF in Bossier City | 15.1.2 |
| Guest columnist: Mike Campbell | |
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Century Tel Center Bossier City, LA Dunno if you want these, or not, but I've seen you post em before, so what the hell? I figure if anything, they're a bit more complete than the usual spoilers one sees around. After taking notes all night, then just going off those small notes and memory, I have a hell of a lot more respect for your recaps than before, and I had a lot to begin with. Anyway... The WWF taped their Smackdown/Heat show at the Century Tel Center in Bossier City tonight (fitting of Shreveport/Bossier that the outside shot of the place was of the logo with a t missing - Cen ury Tel) Here's the results. Dark Matches: Randy Orton vs Brock Lesnar. Lesnar is a monster, while Orton is somewhat tall, but very thin. Lesnar got some nice offense, including a damn good Arn Anderson style spinebuster, before finishing with a DVD. Eddie Craven vs Jim Ford. Imagine the Big Show about a foot smaller, with a ponytail, but very thin hair, and that's Ford. He's about as slow too. Craven is a halfway decent green cruiserweight, but he didn't get to showcase much. Ford caught his cross body, and turned it into a (sloppy) Michinoku Driver II for the win. Rico Constantino vs Ron Waterman. Constantino is built roughly the same as Orton, with the same hairstyle, but no tattoos. Waterman looks like a miniature (but still big) Scott Steiner with Hulk Hogan's hairline. Waterman showed mostly power moves, and finished with a Tiger bomb. Michael Shane vs R.C. Haas. Charlie Haas has adopted the name "R.C." in memory of his brother Russ. He worked the leg of Shane the entire match, then finished with a leg grapevine that I have no idea what it's called. I'll take my best stab, and say it looked like an elevated Texas Cloverleaf. WWF Sunday Night Heat: Perry Saturn vs Shawn Stasiak. This match was a lot better than I thought it would be, given how much Stasiak sucks. Stasiak's inanimate object of choice tonight was to run shoulder first into the ring post, leaving him easy picking for a standing armbar by Saturn for the submission win. Albert vs Funaki. Typical comedy match, though Funaki did get to work the leg a bit, causing Albert to buckle and fall during a press slam. Baldo bomb, splat. The Hurricane vs Scotty 2 Hotty. Damn good match here. Scotty hit the worm to everyone's delight, but Helms rolled out of the ring. Hurricane hit the Buff Blockbuster for two, but Scotty countered a victory roll a la Owen Hart for the win. Afterwards, Hurricane and Scotty danced, and Molly did the worm. Smackdown. Lilian Garcia came out for the national anthem. Only two morons said "what", and only once apiece. This ain't New York, after all. Michael Cole came out to Saliva's "Click Click Boom", and Lawler came out, and we were ready to rock. Smackdown opened with the Rock entering the arena. Austin caught up with him inside, and said that since he was winning the Rumble, Rock should expect him at Wrestlemania. Rob Van Dam vs William Regal. Good match to open, though Bossier didn't appreciate Regal's ground based style much. RVD hit a lot of signature spots to their delight though. RVD whipped Regal into the corner, but stalled a bit too much, and was met with the brass knuckles when he charged in. Regal got the easy three count on the unconscious Rob Van Dam. Angle came into the Rock's locker room, saying that he was going to win the Rumble, and Rock should be ready for the dream match at Wrestlemania. Rock made Angle close his eyes and visualize the match. Rock told Angle to imagine the Angle lock, the Angle slam, Angle whipping the Rock's ass, all to Angle's delight, before telling Angle to "wake up". Rock then said the match would go Rock Bottom, Piebuster, People's Elbow, 1...2.......3. Billy vs Tajiri. Chuck interfered after the tarantula, and got the green mist. Billy used the distraction to hit the fameasser for the win. Afterwards, Billy held Tajiri for Chuck's superkick. Lilian Garcia attempted to interview Trish Stratus backstage, but Jazz jumped Trish, and threw her against a chest. As Trish tried to get up, Jazz slammed the chest shut, right on Trish's left hand. Jazz promised to see Trish on Sunday, as Lilian screamed for help. DDP vs the Boss Man. The stips were that if DDP won, he'd be reinstated, and entered in the Royal Rumble. Boss Man dominated, and hit two breathtaking bodyslams, before Page countered the third into an awkward Diamond Cutter for the three. Needless to say, the crowd didn't give a shit. Taker came to the Rock's dressing room, saying he was winning the Rumble, but the Rock cut him off and said he was heading to the ring. Rock gave an interview in the ring saying this Royal Rumble was going to be special, because everyone was going to win this year, including Austin, Angle, Taker, HHH, a woman in the front row, a six year old child, and a camera man, who Rock relieved of his camera, and proceeded to shoot section 108 - MORE Rumble winners, as well as the rest of the crowd. Rock said the only guarantee is that he would leave the Royal Rumble WWF champion. Cue Y2J intro, Cue loud ass Pyro. Jericho came out and whined that no one took him seriously, and everyone thought he was a joke. Rock came down, and said he took him very seriously, and was going to beat him this Sunday. If you smell, etc. The next match was called a "handicap over the top rope challenge", which basically meant teams came in together for a king of the hill style battle royal. Rikishi, Christian, and Lance Storm started. Lance Storm got the stinkface, and was superkicked out in short order, and Christian soon followed, getting backdropped onto Storm. Big Show came out, and Rikishi stupidly tried to bodyslam him. Big Show picked Rikishi up, held him, walked ever so slowly to the ropes, and pitched him out like nothing. The APA came out, and fought with the Big Show, ending with Bradshaw clotheslining Show out. Faarooq and Bradshaw looked at each other uneasily, then shook hands, before Faarooq threw Bradshaw over the top. Bradshaw held onto the ropes, and slid back in, giving a disbelieving look to Faarooq. Before they could go at it, Kane's pyro hit, and he came down to the ring. Kane overcame the doubleteam and eliminated Bradshaw, then grabbed Faarooq in a choke and threw him out to win the challenge. Spike and Tazz arrived in a limo, and were decimated by the Dudleys. Tazz got locked in the trunk, then the Dudleys gave a vicious looking 3d to Spike, in the parking lot. Debra gloated how she'd get to get her hands on Stephanie during the main event, but Austin calmly informed her that she'd be staying in the locker room. HHH made his way to Rock's dressing room, and reminded Rock they had unfinished business in the past, and that it would be settled... in the future. Edge vs Test - non title. Yes, Edge is scary over. Test has new music, a slower guitar beat, with no lyrics. Personally, I like it better than his old music. Regal came out and interfered, and Test grabbed a chair. Edge speared Test, nailed Regal with the chair, then nailed Test, drawing a DQ from Nick Patrick. Edge then hit Patrick drawing a nice pop. Stephanie and HHH were shown backstage, and like Austin, HHH told his wife she would be staying backstage for the main event. Steve Austin and HHH vs Booker T and Kurt Angle. Our entire section was singing "you suck" along to Angle's theme, and Booker stared directly at the "Hey Book, READ One!" sign my friend had (idea obtained from someone on this board I do believe). Lots of "What" chants of course, and the crowd didn't settle down at all during this. Booker hit the scissor kick on Austin, spinaroone, and Harlem Side Kick, but HHH broke up the pin. In the end, Austin hit the stunner on Booker, which staggered him directly into HHH's Pedigree for the win, much to everyone's delight. To end the show, Austin and HHH were left alone in the ring, but before any real staredown could commence, Taker's music hit, and he stood at the top of the ramp. HHH and Austin stood in the ring glaring at the Undertaker, before Austin moved directly behind HHH, and looked about ready to strike. (This should be where the broadcast ends). After Taker left, HHH turned around and saw Austin coiled for the attack. Austin didn't stun him however, and once HHH recovered from the shock, pantomimed with him, snapping his fingers to demonstrate how quick he could have been out. Austin grabbed a mic, and said the good news was that HHH got the pin. "The bad news..." "what?" "The bad news..." "What?" "I said the bad news..." "What?" "HHH: He said, the bad news..." "What?", and so on, was that HHH was staring at the Undertaker, while Austin was right behind him, and HHH didn't even think about that. He said he could have given the stunner, and it'd have been lights out, see you later, good bye, that's it, etc. He instead offered HHH some beer, giving him a four day pass until Sunday. HHH said if they did drink together, they would for one night only be friends... "What?" "Amigos" "What?", and so on. HHH eventually was having problems finding more synonyms for "friends", so I yelled out "Buddies!" HHH: "Buddies, yes!" "what?" "Compadres" "What?". But most of all, they'd be... "drunks" "What?" HHH and Austin drank beer, with HHH spitting most of it from the turnbuckles in the alcoholic version of his water spit, sending the crowd home happy. Real good show in my opinion, it well did its job of entertaining the crowd, and promoting the PPV. Vince McMahon and Ric Flair were completely absent from the show though, so unless they record some footage elsewhere, you kids should enjoy a near McMahon free show. For their first televised effort in Bossier City, it was a damn good one, and the crowd was good enough that I think and hope they'll be back a little more often. Mike Campbell Email the Author Comment about this article in Wienerville |
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