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WWF House Show


by: Patrick Barker


Hey CRZ. Just got back from the WWF show at the First Union Center in Philadelphia, and here's what went down.

Even though the event wasn't until 7:30, I got there at 3:30. That's right! 4 hours early! To assure myself great Smackdown! tickets for November. So at 4:30, I realize I have to use the restroom. But the fine folks at the the First Union Center wouldn't let me in, so I had to hold it. Anyway, at 6:30, they let us in. I went right to the advance ticket booth, but it turns out they relocated it! I had to run to the other side of the arena, and by the time I got there, I got eighth row. Oh well. Next I checked out the merchandise stand for Jericho t-shirts, but there are none, yet. So I grabbed myself a Philly Cheesesteak, cheese fries, and a Pepsi. It came out to like 14 dollars, or something ridiculous. So I took my seat (Row 6) and waited. At 7:30, Tony Chimel came out and ran down the card. I was surrounded by females, which is usually a good thing. Unfortunately, just mutter 'Test' or 'Edge' or 'Val Venis', and they scream like they're having an orgasm.

The lights go out, and they play the National Anthem. Afterwards, the ring posts shoot out pyro, and it's my hero, Chris Jericho, in the ring! How cool! He was not even advertised! He goes to say something, but his mic is off. He yells at the fans until they get a properly working mic. "Welcome to Philadelphia is JERICHO!" He goes on his speil and I mark out like a five year old at Disney World. He never says "Ayatollah of Rock 'N Rolla", to my dismay. I try in vain to get a "Jericho" chant going, but the crowd hates him. Screw Austin, this is now worth the 30 dollars alone. This was the third time I've seen Jericho live. 11/3/97 Nitro, before he was cool, and 3/2/98 Nitro, with him and Eddy against Dean and Rey Jr. He is awesome.

Opening match is D-Lo vs. Jarrett. I mark for D-Lo too, as do many. Crowd chants "puppies", which seems to bug D-Lo. I don't blame him. Debra wasn't even there. I get a mini "D-Lo" chant going, but for all intents and purposes, the crowd just cheered at the "appropriate" times. D-Lo dominates, hitting the Sky High, Running Liger Bomb, and his own special leg drop. End comes when D-Lo superplexes Jarrett, but Jarrett rolls back into a small package. Interesting ending... I expected a guitar shot or something. A clean win. What a crazy concept. Good opener. ***

Gangrel vs. Chaz was... there. Everyone who's witnessed this match says that the crowd dies. Not quite, but it could be because Chaz is a hometown boy. Chaz quickly loses my interest, because of his ridiculous spitting. Gangrel punches him and he sends a major loogie into the third row. Every bump he takes causes spit to fly. Is Chaz a camel? Some decent spots. Gangrel nails the Implant DDT out of nowhere for the win. *1/2

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman (Knockout or Submission): Decent match. Nothing special. The ref gets bumped, and I expect the bell shot from Blackman like usual. Shamrock gets the Ankle Lock, and Jericho is back! He rushes in, nails Shamrock with the bell, and Blackman locks on an armbar, which was pointless since you can win by knockout anyway. **1/4 OH! I forgot! Blackman used a Sharpshooter! Okay, that's all.

Val Venis vs. Mideon: "Hello, ladies. You know somethin', the Big Valbowski is a lot like a Philly Cheesesteak. Heh heh heh. We both taste good. We're both stacked with lots of meat, and we both come 12 inches long!" I was eating my cheesesteak at the time. Now I feel so dirty. To the match: Boring. Val wins with the Money Shot. That's about it. This was not only a DUD, but a MIDEON DUD.

Three Team Elimination Match: The Acolytes vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian. Them ladies love Edge and Christian. Lots of high spots, the most memorable of which is Jeff Hardy's perfect senton bomb. Edge hits a top-rope spear on Jeff to eliminate the Hardy Boyz. Gangrel runs in and gives Edge the Implant DDT, leading to an Acolyte win. ***

Mankind vs. Mr. Ass: Mr. Ass enters first, with a local radio veejay named Melissa (she's there every time), and the winner of that radio station's "Best Ass" contest. Two hot females indeed. The best part: they sat right in front of me the whole show! Ain't I lucky? Foley enters to a big pop and wants a mic. He talks about ECW. He does the "Dozens... and dozens" bit, and talks about asses. Knowing full well that the intermission was next and it would be busy, I left now for a bathroom break and an Owen Hart magazine. I missed the match, but I know Foley won. I got back just in time to see Gunn's ass. Great.


Mixed Tag: Al Snow and Tori vs. Hardcore Holly and Ivory. Steady match if unspectacular. Snow's another hometown boy, so he got a good pop. Tori lets Hardcore grope her ass to allow an opening for Snow. Kendo Stick involved, and the faces win after Tori hits that odd Powerbomb-type manuever on Ivory. The crowd chants "take it off", but instead Snow and Tori put on Philadelphia Flyer jerseys, which also gets a good pop. **

Test vs. Bossman: Lots of stalling, and a boring match. Bossman hits Test with the nightstick to win. Serves the pussy-whipped pretty boy right. *

Tag Titles: Big Show and Undertaker vs. Kane and X-Pac. Man, I can FEEL Kane's pyro. Taker takes it easy, with the injury and all. X-Pac hits the Bronco Buster on TBS, nails Paul Bearer, and walks right into a Chokeslam. Serves the bitch right. That's all. *1/2

Main Event: World Title: Rock vs. HHH. Exactly what you'd expect in this match, which is all well and good. Ref bump, Rock Bottom, People's Elbow, and it's the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla AGAIN! I'm going nuts. Jericho drops the Rock, HHH covers: one, two, KICKOUT! Pedigree! One, two, three. HHH wins. ***1/2 Afterwards, Rock promises to inject something into Jericho's ass. This sport is so gay.

Well, I don't like Austin, so I don't care that he wasn't there. Three Jericho appearances when none were advertised? Awesome. As is customary, I'll talk about pops and heat, but I'll do it a bit differently.

D-Lo: 7 on the Pop-O-Meter. Opening match is always hot, and D-Lo worked it well.
Jarrett: 6 on the Heat-O-Meter. Crowd doesn't seem to care unless he uses cheap heat tactics.

Gangrel: 2 on the Heat-O-Meter, cause he got a face pop.
Chaz: 4 on the Pop-O-Meter. Nothing special.

Shamrock: 9 on the Pop-O-Meter. I can't believe how over he was.
Blackman: 4 on the Heat-O-Meter. See Jarrett.

Val Venis: 8 on the Pop-O-Meter. Especially since about 30% of the audience was female.
Mideon: 10 on the No Reaction-O-Meter.

Acolytes: 7 on the Heat-O-Meter.
Hardys: 8 on the Heat-O-Meter.
Edge and Christian: 9 on the Pop-O-Meter. The ladies love 'em, and against two good heel teams, you get a better pop, obviously.

Mr. Ass got a mixed reaction, so he gets a 0 on everything.
Mankind: 9 on the Pop-O-Meter. ECW mentions mainly.

Al Snow and Tori: 8 on the Pop-O-Meter.
Hardcore Holly and Ivory: 8 on the Heat-O-Meter. Reasons you'd expect for both teams.

Test: 9 on the Pop-O-Meter. These females need a new hobby. I guess we all do.
Boss Man: Nothing special. Call it a 5 on the Heat-O-Meter.

Kane and X-Pac: 8 on the Pop-O-Meter. No explanation needed.
Taker and TBS: 8 on the Heat-O-Meter. Same as above.

Rock: 10+ on the Pop-O-Meter. He is WAY over.
HHH: 9 on the Heat-O-Meter. Crowd was hot for the main event.

And Jericho gets a 10 in everything because he FUCKING rules.

Best house show I've ever been to? This was my ninth house show (14th wrestling show overall), and I'd say it's in the top three. Much better than in May. Of course it all looks a little subpar after you've been to WrestleMania, but I guess I'm just spoiled.

Patrick Barker

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