Heat

Val Venis vs Joey Abs (w/those other two Posse losers)- Euro. Title Match
Nothing of note here. Val's Perfectplex ---> Pin (about 5:00).

Godfather (w/five hos and LUNA?) vs Gangrel
Luna apparently turns ho ....NOT! Luna interference ---> the Implant DDT --->pin.

D'lo Brown (w/megapop) vs Prince Albert
Short match that ended on the outside -- Chimel's audio was really bad --it appeared to be a DQ win for D'lo.

Too Cool vs Headbangers (w/really weird outfits).
Too Cool AND the Bangers get good-sized face pops here: who's the heel? The Headbangers hit the Stage Dive, but GMaster Sexay (a la Val Venis at Armageddon) hits ANOTHER top rope move and puts Scottie 2 Hotty on top.

SMACKDOWN!

A clip airs of Mankind addressing pretty much the entire WWF Roster (minus DX, Steph, and a few assorted heels). Steph walks in on the mess -- and turns face? Another swerve show, (grr). The short of this is setting up matches for later - Rock/Al Snow in a cage, Big Show/Mankind --HHH hangs 15 ft above the ring in a shark cage AND the Hardys, Test, Edge and Christian are lumberjacks to insure against DX interfering, and Jeff Hardy/Christian vs ...the Posse? Gack.

Insert here, your opening clips, ear-numbing fireworks, and crowd footage to open up the show.

Y2J COUNTDOWN!

IC Title Match -Chris Jericho vs Hardcore Holly (with Crash and Scale Holly)
Talk about a great back and forth match -- Crash interrupts the Walls of Jericho to draw the (DQ about 3:30 or so) and here's CHYNA to make the save--Crash takes a trip over the top courtesy of said savior, and Hardcore courtesy of OUR Paragon of Virtue. Add in Jericho befuddled look as we fade!

Test vs SAME OLD Road Dogg
This was another of Steph's 'gifts'. Aside from one Shake N' Bake Punch Sequence, SQUASH SOUP! (Pumphandle Slam --->Flying Elbow --->pin (2:00 - maybe)).

Rock interview clip.

Edge vs Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Spangle
Kurt praises Texas's possession of Intensity and Integrity -- but demoans the lack of Intelligence. The Crowd was PISSED. Edge hits a few nice spots, Angle gets in a little trouble, and DAMMIT. [Blackman's Kendo Delight --->Right Angle --->pin.]

Rikishi Fatu vs Viscera
YEAH, SUUUUUUURE. Does the term BOWLING SHOE TENDENCIES mean anything to you? (Banzai Drop --> pin). We get the obligatory boogie with Too Cool postmatch. Oh, Tazz's symbol interrupts Rikishi's entrance.

Kane wants Xpac -- Steph gifts him with BA Billy Gunn for a match later -- how nice!

Ivory is out -- and we have a challenge to -
EL GATO vs Ivory -- WWF Women's Title
Kitty, as per Ivory's niceness, picks the stipulations of no-DQ and anything goes - and then steps outside, as Chyna beats up Ivory, hits her with the Pedigree, and lets Kitty pin her after doing all the dirty work.

1/2 of the Hardys (w/Terri) & Christian vs Taka and Papa Chulo
Taka & Co. are recruited by the MSP to take their place in this match. Taka & Co. are the heels, and we get a nice (if short) high flying match, including a good legdrop by Jeff Hardy, the Trainwreck Leaping Spot, a very cool spot where Taka gets clobbered by a barricade-running Christian, and at the end, (Impaler/Senton Bomb Combo ---> pin.)

Stephanie has Triple H taken away by cops!

The Rock vs Al Snow - Steel Cage match.
Biggest pop of the night for the man with the shades. Many Rocky Chants: A Steel Chair, introduced by the Rock at the beginning of the match, plays a small role, as Al gets the spinebuster on said chair -- Pavlov, your star shines bright (Peoples Elbow ---> pin (5:00+)).

MIZARK HENRY (w/Thursday Night Geritol) vs Bubba Ray Dudley(w/D-Von)
Mark has a poem for Mae (the first time in recent memory I actually DIDN'T MIND the bad audio.). Buh Buh goofs on them, then insults the crowd for laughs (Insulting the Cowboys drew a HUGE FACE POP--YOU figure that out.). Mark Henry picks up the win via circuitus interference.

KANE vs Mr. Ass
Kane is seriously pissed and it's all Kane. (Chokeslam Express ---> pin (under 2:00)) But Kane's not done yet, for after scaring off the referee, he chases BA and almost hits a tombstone on the outside - the two brawl into the crowd and into a back area, where BA is introduced to a brick wall. Dogg begs him off [HA!]

Mankind vs Big Show - WWF Title Match
HHH in cage above Ring; Hardy, Test, Edge and Christian Lumberjacking

Steph joins in on color commentary. Some decent offense -- fast forawrd to the end - chokeslam attempt blocked by a kick and countered into a Double DDT - SOCKO is out and applied - and both men tumble over the top. Time for the angle to kick in -- the cage starts lowering. The lumberjacks advance on the ring --and A WHOLE BUNCH O BUNCHA HEELS attack, and the fight spills into the back. Mick makes it back into the ring, and quite to our amusement, he has to play dumb for a while, as Steph takes OVER FOUR MINUTES to get the chain on the cage off (or maybe she's trying to stop HHH from getting out?). Mick attacks, and HHH grabs Steph as a human shield ---> IT'S A TRICK, of course, and we get a massive Mick beatdown by DX to end the broadcast, and the Outlaws run out to run interference on the Big Show somewhere in there. Triple H and DX has two words for us in the midst of this holiday era -- BUT I'M NOT GONNA SAY WHAT THEY WERE. HA!

Mick and Show recover to apply the beatdown and send the crowd home happy (including a Mick People's Elbow w/ the Outlaws stacked on top of each other).

Dark Stuff

Papa Chulo def. A Jobber

Mideon defeated A Wierd Jobber w/very ugly silver pants