From: kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu (christopher zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Mania - 9/1/93
Message-ID: <24827@galaxy.ucr.edu>
Date: 9 Jan 93 22:30:01 GMT
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It's WWF Mania!  It's WWF Mania!  What cool credits!  It's WWF Mania!

WWF Mania, shown on the USA Network 9.1.93

Your host is Todd Pettengill.  I've never heard of him.  Todd Pettengill:
a) used to be a disc jockey
b) thinks hosting is like being a disc jockey
c) always wanted to be a disc jockey
d) isn't sure about this wrestling business
e) was hired for his stunning good looks
f) any or all of the above

Clearly we're working the Saturday morning crowd.  On Saturday morning, the last
thing I want is some chipper MTV VJ introducing last week's syndicated matches.
Pettengill says watching "WWF Mania" is better than old "Taxi" reruns.  Really
Todd.

Let us take you back to the increasingly dangerous antics of the Clown.  The
Clown hits Tatanka, douses Jannetty, causes Backlund to slip on some banana
peels, and trips up Big Boss Man.

Pettengill introduces the Clown's latest run-in:  Crush v. Dave Sigfrids
(Commentary by Vince McMahon, King Jerry Lawler, Macho Man Randy Savage).  The
Clown is squirting children with his flower.  Later he finds older women in the
audience and spits on them (Now that's funny!).  After Sigfrids (formerly
Sigfritts) is run through the compactor, Crush has some choice words for the
Clown, who is throwing a rubber ball attached to a string at the crowd.  Crush,
caretaker of the fans.  Hmmm..

Raymond Rougeau interviews Crush.  The Clown is just going too far when he's
"pickin on da kids bra" or whatever the hell he said.  I smell a feud.

Here's a WWF Mania "Exclusive:" Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Repo Man (Sean Mooney,
Lord Alfred Hayes)  Chant, claps, wow, some exclusive.  Repo with punches that
do nothing, Duggan with three clotheslines (who said he doesn't know wrestling
moves?) and Repo's out of the ring.  Repo attempts sunset flip but get punched
in the mush.  Duggan with atomic drop (see, another move!) but Repo gets the
advantage with help of the ropes.  Duggan's head meets the corner several times.
Chinlock, but thanks to the fans' chanting, Duggan comes back.  Only five
punches instead of ten (stamina, you know), bodyslam and bull run.  1, 2, 3.
Although Mooney calls Duggan's victory "surprising," I'm not surprised.  The way
Mooney's talking, you'd think Duggan hadn't been let go...hm.

Promos: ICOPRO (Hart), Slim Jim (Savage), WWF game cartridges

Yokozuna v. George Anderson (McMahon, Lawler, Savage) No offense, but Fuji's got
to get some better looking girls to greet 'zuna.  Earthquake isn't happy about
someone being bigger than him, and in the Rumble yet.  Lawler asks if the ring
will be reinforced, and Vince says yup, so now we know.

Undertaker interview, no wait, it's Paul Bearer and Undertaker talking about
Somalia.  How weird.  Is the Undertaker the wrestler you'd want saying "No one
should starve to death"?

"Headlock on Hunger" is the WWF's Somalia relief fund.  Address to send
donations if you can't attend their benefit at MSG.

Shawn Michaels v. Jumpin' Jim Brunzell (Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby "the Brain"
Heenan) Seeing this match once again makes me realize that people like Brunzell,
HOROWITZ, (yes, even Powers) are really wasted in the WWF.  Eh, whatcha gonna
do.  For some reason, the crowd keeps calling Brunzie "Marty."  Michaels shows
the world that there really is a counter for the sleeper if you have half a
brain.  Brunzell's dropkick is better than Michaels' but then when you can get a
cheap win you don't need to work on a dropkick, do you?  But I bet if HOROWITZ
got an intercontinental shot...WELL.

Pettengill says that the Grapevine has mentioned a Michaels/Jannetty matchup at
RR, but "with a twist."  We are encouraged to watch other WWF shows for this
news.  I think about changing the channel, but sit on.  After all, there's one
more...

"WWF Mania Exclusive"  Raymond Rougeau interviews "the Rocket" Owen Hart.  After
the interview preliminaries, in comes Razor Ramon with a clothesline, a kick in
the gut, and a garbage can full of love.   "Hey Rosket," says Ramon, "Did you
daddy teach you that?"  Rougeau is nowhere to be seen, some wrestler he must
have been.

In his own interview, Ramon says to Bret Hart, "you're next."  Hart promises to
"pound the daylights" out of Ramon.

Mean Gene Okerlund with the Rumble Royale Report, sponsored by ICOPRO.  Only
twelve Rumble names mentioned, with interviews by Savage and Perfect.  Nothing
new.

Promos:  Cybergenics Phase One (Joe Piscopo!), Bicycle Playing Cards, "Super
High Impact Football" cartridges.

One of the matches on Monday Night Raw will be Undertaker vs. Damien DeMento.

Mr. Perfect v. The Berzerker (McMahon, Lawler, Savage).  I finally figured out
how we could get a Berserker face turn.  At the rumble, the last two men in the
ring are 'zuna and 'zerker.  Out comes Fuji, who orders 'zerker to sit down for
the Sumo wrestler.  Nord expresses displeasure at this revelation of loyalty,
and by some screw job Yokozuna wins.  Berserker tries to beat up Fuji, but
Yokozuna and Fuji end up taking it to the Viking.  Just to add some spice, we'll
have Hulk Hogan make the save.  Oh yeah, this match, well you saw it last week.
Catch that utterly pointless Flair run in.  Catch that "Huh?" Perfectplex win.
Wonder when this show'll be over.

Okerlund with Update, sponsored by ICOPRO.  Heenan's "Narcissus" interview for
the thousandth time.

Next Week: More Clown fun, Kamala.  If there's a pattern here, it'll be today's
"Superstars" footage.

I'm not impressed with this new show.  Clearly, they're gunning for a Saturday
morning audience (especially with Pettengill).  I don't know if it's him, or
whoever's writing his lines, but...PLEASE.  We're going to need more than one
"exclusive" per show to keep me watching for an entire hour.  I mean, everything
else was a week old, fer cryin' out loud!  Hopefully, this is just because the
show is new, and as the week's go on we'll get more original stuff, or else I'll
be mad at Vince for taking an hour away from my Monday wrestling, and giving me
this in its place.

Tomorrow:  The re-tooled "All-American Wrestling," from New York City!  If we're
lucky, it won't be last week's "Wrestling Challenge."

Christopher Zimmerman           =I have my Royal Rumble ticket=