From: kzim@watserv.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Prime Time Wrestling - 5/10/92
Keywords: 2 hours in 4 pages, give or take
Message-ID: <22732@galaxy.ucr.edu>
Date: 6 Oct 92 19:07:13 GMT
Sender: news@galaxy.ucr.edu
Lines: 194
Nntp-Posting-Host: watnxt12.ucr.edu

For much of the past week, UCR has been cut off from the rest of the world  
due to networking problems.  Usenet News, although restored to our news  
server, is only working in trickles.  Hopefully it will not delay the  
release of this article.  If so, I apologize for any inconvenience.

WWF PrimeTime Wrestling, shown on the USA Network 5.10.92

The "Panel of Experts" includes Hillbilly Jim, Hacksaw Jim Duggan (wearing  
a "WWF 100% tested Grade A Prime Beef" muscle shirt), Vince McMahon, Bobby  
"the Brain" Heenan, and Mr. Perfect.

Says McMahon, "Rumour has it that Koko B. Ware wants to become a broadcast  
journalist after he hangs up the tights."  Says The Broadcast Journalist:  
"Yeah, but it'll take him six years to hang up THOSE pants!"

Koko B. Ware v. Shawn Michaels (Gorilla Monsoon, "Reverend" Slick  
commentators)  Who dreamed up this match?  Who let Slick pontificate?   
Already PrimeTime is full of surprises.  Ware comes out without Frankie,  
and with the "High Energy" theme.  Michaels is "the #1 contender for the IC  
belt."  The doctor of style dislikes Koko's pants.  As usual, there is a  
lot of offense by the face until Koko misses one of those high energy, high  
flying moves, landing on his face.  Shawn, who incidentally "is a proponent  
of ICOPRO," basically kills time.  Koko manages to try a small package, but  
gets 2.  Shawn levels Koko, then takes half an hour to climb to the top  
rope, but amazingly STILL lands the flying elbow.  After more Michaels  
offense, Koko finally jumps out of the corner as Michaels runs at him.  A  
brief comeback for Koko until HE runs into the cornerpost.  Shawn finally  
hits the "patented reverse thrust kick" and gets the fall.  Good thing too,  
I'd hate to see Ware/Smith for the IC title.

Let me say this about Slick commentating:  I know there are lots of y'all  
who can't stand Lord Alfred Hayes, but Slick sounds like Pauly Shore  
trapped in James Brown's body ("Fed-er-a....SHUN!") and he says "Excatly."  
about a MILLION times. 

Skinner v. Major Yates (Monsoon, Slick)  Even long after losing the swamp  
tar habit, Monsoon still calls him a "filthy pig".  Slick mentions he's  
"kinda itchin to manage again."  Skinner has lots of chances to hold Yates  
down for 3 but keeps pulling him up, in the process taunting referee  
"Blind" Danny Davis.  Finally Skinner gets the "alligator neck breaker" and  
holds him down.  Slick:  "The only thing I can say for Yates is he's got  
nice tights."

"Courtesy SUPERSTARS:  two weeks ago"  We see the hilarious Kamala running  
away from Paul Bearer's coffin after trouncing a HNE.

Flash to this week:  The Undertaker v. Von Krus (McMahon, Perfect)  I can  
remember years back when good ol' Von Krus was a real, live Nazi!  Or so  
the WWF would have me believe ("Heil Hitler!"...what a heel jobber).   
Although still announced as "from Germany" (no longer East), he's just a  
boring squash now.  Of course, Krus plays a whole family, Gino, Vito,  
Skull...but I digress.  Tombstone, body bag (Perfect:  "It's airtight!").   
There is a child in the crowd dressed like UT, who will probably be in  
therapy for years.  Vince cackles.  Paul Bearer pays homage to the Jeopardy  
screens.

Panel discusses Kamala's fear of UT while Jamison brings in a "stuffed  
turkey."  It is a raw turkey filled with a [wrapped] Twinkie, cupcake, his  
inhalor, and an egg.  Jamison:  "Guess that turkey was in a family way".   
ROTFL?  Bzzz! Thanks for playing.

Terrific Terry Taylor v. Jumpin' Jim Brunzell (Monsoon, Slick).  This is  
Taylor's "debut" on PrimeTime.  Remember though, Brunzell "possesses one of  
the most tremendous jumping dropkicks you've ever seen."  Gee, think we'll  
see one?  This match was really pretty good for WWF.  "Brunzie" gets the  
armbar, the arm drag, but the tide turns in Taylor's favor with the closed  
fists, the kicks, the hair pulls...I guess he's a heel.  Brunzell with the  
sunset flip for a 2 count, small package for 2, Brunzell with the figure  
four (!) but Taylor rolls to the ropes before Brunzell can slap it on.   
Hold is broken and Taylor kicks Brunzell out of the ring.  Taylor with neck  
breaker, tries the "early, sloppy" cover but only gets 2.  Brunzell comes  
back with lots of moves, and Taylor looks generally pissed.  Finally Jim  
does hit the dropkick and covers but Taylor gets his foot on the rope.   
Taylor manages to get Brunzell into a powerbomb, and of course no one gets  
up from that.  No music for Taylor.

This match was very un-whiff-like.  No gimmicks...let's hope it's not a  
trend...

Rerun of Backlund's "comeback" retrospect.  Hmm, maybe this *is* a trend...

Rerun of Survivor Series '91.  Six men in the ring, five DQ'd in fifteen  
seconds.  Flair wins.  The best fifteen second flashback I've ever seen.

***The Great Barry Horowitz*** and Bob Bradley v. Natural Disasters  
(McMahon, Perfect)  Let's face it, the only reason the Beverly Brothers  
aren't the tag champs is because there's no LOD for them to fued with.   
Inset interview with Money, Inc. who claim to be "#1 contenders."  I used  
to think NDs should get the Oscars for playing Tag Team champions, but now  
I think Horowitz should get the Oscar for selling a test of strength with  
Typhoon.  If only Vince had shut up I could've heart what the Great One was  
saying to Typhoon.  NDs win with the quake and splash over Bradley.

Gene Okerlund looks for Jimmy Hart.  Cameo of Tunney.  Hart is found in the  
men's room.  Hart waffles about Money, Inc. or Nasty Boys being #1.  He  
does get to call Typhoon "the big buffoon," and the Earthquake "the buffet  
buster," but waffles about the #1 controversy.  I imagine all four of them  
will be a Survivor Series team, but I'll have to wait for the Rest of the  
Story (tm).

Promos:  ICOPRO, WWF Figures, Electronic Talking Battleship

"Direct" from TSN in Canada is The Mountie.  The only reason he lost the IC  
title is that he worked out three months to face the Hitman only to have  
Piper in his place at the title match.  Right.  Also claims he called up  
Smith and told him how HE could beat the Hitman for the title.  What a guy.   
"Direct" from SKY in the UK is the Bulldog.  Smith gets the attendance  
figure for SummerSlam wrong and generally is very boring.  Mountie does get  
to sing, however.

Big Boss Man v. Papa Shango (Monsoon, Slick) is "joined in progress"  
although Shango's makeup is still on and Boss Man is on offense, so it must  
have just started.  Shango eventually slams Bossman's back into the corner,  
and sets up a boring hold.  Hart and Nailz are discussed.  Finally Bossman  
has passed out...arm falls once, arm falls twice...oh wait, he's coming  
back.  Then they head butt each other and are BOTH ko'd.  Shango gets up  
first, but Bossman gets the big offense.  Just when Bossman is ready to get  
the pin, Nailz lumbers in with a nightstick.  Boss Man turns around and  
Shango hits him from behind, Boss Man pastes Shango with the illegal  
reverse windmill uppercut and exits the ring with *his* nightstick for  
Nailz.  They lock up but before we get any free action, the fight is taken  
behind the curtain.  Shango (pronounced SHANG-go by Slick) gets the  
countout.  Lucky for him.

Virgil v. Louie Spiccoli (Monsoon, Slick)  This match was closer than you  
might expect, and better than you might expect, too.  Of course, Virgil  
wins (with a suplex) which I'm sure you expected.  Spiccoli does get *a  
lot* of 2 counts, though.  Best part:  Spiccoli, in chin lock, tries to  
pull Virgil's hair.

Panel discusses Ultimate Maniacs.  Perfect mentions that when they teamed  
up before, against the Nasty Boys, they really sucked.  Heenan suggests  
calling the team "the Ultimate Egos."  Of course now that they have the  
bond of friendship...

Gene Okerlund interviews Razor Ramon.  Something about Savage, I think.   
Mercifully, the interview is short.

Repo Man v. *EL* matador (Monsoon, Slick)  Slick:  "Repo stole everything  
he's got except his reputation."  Matador is wearing his pre-SummerSlam,  
green outfit.  Uninteresting matchup until Repo goes under the ring and  
produces a hubcap, which he smacks Santana with.  1...2...oh wait, foot on  
the rope.  Needless to say, Santana comes back with el punch de el head,  
but only gets the 2 count (!).  Repo rolls out of the ring, Santana also  
exits, finds the hubcap and chases Repo around until the double countout.

Crush v. Dwayn Gill (Monsoon, Slick)  Crush "looks like he uses ICOPRO."   
Inset interview with Crush spouting Hawaiian.  Crush with eye-popping head  
crush.  I just noticed Gill has Hogan's haircut...

Panel discusses Crush.  Heenan says he has "the IQ of a doorknob."

Event Center:  Sean Mooney introduces interview with Money, Inc.  DiBiase:  
"Nasty Boys, get out of the way."  Hart waffles.  Perfect calls Mooney  
"John Spooney."  Oh no, the fire alarm goes off in the studio.  While Titan  
burns, let's take an ad break and see a couple more matches.

Rick Martel (tennis outfit, no feathers) v. Ross Greenberg (McMahon,  
Perfect)  Martel is "a proponent of ICOPRO."  Lots of screams as Martel  
strips, one guy in the crowd has a sign: "3.2"  Perfect says to McMahon  
"You better keep *that* body covered."  Inset interview with Martel in  
natty looking outfit. "The Model is still in vogue."  McMahon "...and  
GQ..."  Martel wins with the Boston Crab.  Is this a slow turn for the  
Model?

Promos:  GI Joe, Electronic Hot Shot Basketball, Spiderman/X-Men Nintendo  
games.

Bret Hart v. Barry Hardy (Monsoon, Slick)  All the talk is about Shango.   
Inset interview with the Hitman:  "I'm not afraid of anything."  Slick once  
again mispronounces "Shango."  Hart with Sharpshooter.

Heenan has a fire extinguisher, "just in case."  Jamison comes out,  
blackened.  He produces the turkey, burned to a crisp.  He tries to yank a  
wing off the turkey, but it sticks, leading to the best Heenan ad lib of  
the night:  "You could go blind doing that..." and the entire panel has  
trouble keeping a straight face.  No funny fire extinguisher hijinks,  
though.  Well, I guess there's always next week.

In conclusion, this was one of the best PrimeTimes I've seen all year...I  
can remember a couple months back when the best match of the night was  
Virgil v. Lombardi.  I'm really pleased with it and look forward to next  
week. 

Speaking of Next Week:  Bret Hart v. Blake Beverly, the British Bulldog v.  
Kamala, the debut of Max Moon (gee, he looks just like the Comet Kid!),  
Earthquake v. Ted DiBiase, and the announcement of the Survivor Series'  
main event.

Christopher Zimmerman  | "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--oh, shoot....BOB!
kzim@watserv.ucr.edu   |  *BOB!*"  Barry Horowitz, attempting offense
kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu   |  against Typhoon and being caught in midair