From: kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu (christopher zimmerman) Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling Subject: WWF Monday Night Raw - 93/02/15 Keywords: My turf! Mine! Message-ID: <26207@galaxy.ucr.edu> Date: 16 Feb 93 22:01:28 GMT Sender: news@galaxy.ucr.edu Organization: University of California, Riverside Lines: 134 Nntp-Posting-Host: ucrmath WWF Monday Night Raw, shown 15.2.93 (but taped 1.2) on the USA Network. For some reason, someone felt compelled to put up a "This episode of Monday Night Raw is pre-recorded" announcement. We then have opening interviews from Brutus Beefcake and Ted DiBiase, and Jimmy Hart is already waffling. Opening credits. Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, and Randy Savage. Generally, any two of them at any given time will provide commentary. Savage has a nice new MNR T shirt which is supposed to make you think it's live, or at least different from two weeks ago. The Steiner Brothers v. Glen Ruth and Bobby Who. Thank God we got a thousand Abbott and Costello references during this yawner. And thank God we spend the entire commentary commenting on how Savage's mic doesn't work. Scott does use a very painful looking suplex, however. They finish with the Rick-bulldogs-from-the-top-rope-while-the-opponent-sits-on-Scott's-shoulders- with-his-back-to-the-corner move, which I'm now going to refer to as "that Steiner finisher." Wrestlemania IX report, brought to you by ICOPRO. Hey, ya gotta want it. WM9, in case you were unaware, is "a mega-event." I know because Mean Gene Okerlund told me so, so there. Tickets still available ($25 for nosebleed to $150 for ringside, in case you were curious). Hart/Yokozuna ("Coincidentally, managed by Mr. Fuji." - Okerlund). Undertaker/Giant Gonzales. Crush/Doink (The Clown). Gene personally thinks this could be "the greatest WrestleMania of all time." Yokozuna v. Ross Greenberg. Greenberg loses. 'Zima babbles incoherently in Zamoan. Savage's mic still doesn't work, so he takes Bartlett's. Mercifully, we don't hear Bartlett for the rest of the hour. Special report with Lord Alfred Hayes, sponsored by Posters V. Hmmm, Papa Shango on the monitors behind Hayes, but I digress. Duggan, you may have recalled, was the first wrestler to knock Yokozuna off his feet IN SINGLES COMPETITION, and for his efforts he was killed. For the first time, we get a replay of a 'Zima butt drop whilst Duggan was covered with the American flag. Interview of Fuji and 'Zima. Highlight: Fuji: "...squash, and squash, and squash!" 'Zima: "Yosh! Yosh! Yosh!" Well, maybe not a highlight, but still... Vince says the the Giant Gonzales wanted to be in the sixteen man over the top rope battle royale, but the other 15 said they would quit if he did. That's not very sporting of them. Let us take you back to WWF Superstars. Gonzales works Spiccoli over and his teammates fail to help him out by fleeing the ring. Enough already, let's see a real match. Promos: ICOPRO (Hart), WWF Figures, Slim Jim (Savage) And they're off! Standing outside the ring and entering simultaneously to get the battle royale going. I only counted 15, despite McMahon and Savage going ape saying 16 all the time...Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon lag, with Ramon being the very last to enter. Remember this, because the last guy in invariably wins (see: Berzerker at last year's 40 man battle royale, Jimmy Hart, etc). In a huge shock, heavily favored Iron Mike Sharpe is the first to leave, tossed out by Bob Backlund (another favorite, I'm sure). Shawn Michaels tosses Koko B. Ware. Skinner pounds on Typhoon and then turns to the crowd and does his alligator dance, so Typhoon clotheslines him out. Kamala clotheslines Damien DeMento (and his friend with the voice), and the Berzerker tosses the Rocket. Kamala reverse crescent kicks the Berzerker, who keeps going until he's over the top rope. Kim Chee helps Typhoon push Kamala over the top, and for an encore does a lot of mouthing off to Kamala. Even Slick, who is pacing around outside the ring, can't control Kamala, who gets back in and tosses Kim Chee out. Then a hilarious chase ensues, through the crowd, out to concessions, back through the crowd. We take an ad break. When we come back, there are still seven men in the ring. Cut to the balcony where Kim Chee and Kamala (and Slick) are running around. Ha ha ha. When we come back to the ring, Terrific Terry Taylor and Bob Backlund have been eliminated, presumably by Tatanka and Ramon respectively. Shawn Michaels gets under Typhoon and helps him out (which impresses the commentators). This leaves four men. Shawn Michaels huddles up with Razor Ramon while Tatanka and El Matador form an alliance. This is poor strategy for Michaels, who being the sole white guy left in the bunch should hang back and let the three "race" gimmicks destroy each other. Oh well. In a not surprising move, Tatanka and Michaels lock up as they have repeatedly done over the course of the match, leaving Santana and Ramon to do the same. While Michaels works Tatanka over, Ramon gets hurt by Santana, culminating in a flying forearm. Rather than toss Ramon like a smart guy would, Santana turns to Michaels. Tatanka wakes up and comes to his new friend's aid. They take Michaels from cornerpost to cornerpost and finally throw him out. Ramon tries to attack from behind, but only gets Tatanka. Santana and Ramon go at it and Santana again gets the upper hand. Again Tatanka wakes up and helps. Suddenly, Harvey Wippleman comes out with Giant Gonzales. He immediately heads for the three men and knocks Tatanka and Tito's head together. Ramon looks up and slides out of the ring while Gonzales throws out first Santana, then Tatanka. Wippleman and Gonzales turn to leave. After he's sure they're gone for good, Ramon comes back in and gives the "Come on" hand sign to their backs. They don't notice. Ramon has won the battle royale, by some twisted WWF logic. The Million Dollar Man v. The Barber Hart comes out with DiBiase. Beefcake comes out, and thankfully he isn't wearing those goofy pants he was wearing in the barbershop (he's wearing whole pants now). Ted rushes Brutus who escaped by strutting, much to the crowd's delight. Again Ted rushes, and again Brutus struts to elude him. Lockup, and DiBiase is powered into the corner. DiBiase now goes all over Beefcake with punches, Brutus ducks and uses his own library of illegal closed fists. We hear Hart warning DiBiase about how good Brutus is. RIGHT. Beefcake with headlock, then another battery of illegal closed fists, DiBiase leaves the ring involuntarily and Brutus gives the international "kiss my ass" sign to Ted. DiBiase with kick and slaps. Brutus introduces DiBiase to the cornerpost. Yet another headlock, and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, out comes Irwin. Crowd: "Irwin...Irwin..." DiBiase powers out of the headlock and while Brutus thinks he's going to just bounce off the ropes, a suitcase to the back changes his mind right away. Immediately the bell rings. DiBiase and Schyster take turns kicking Brut-eye in the back. Hart does the "Fun's over, boys" motion, but DiBiase picks him up and holds back his arms. Irwin is ready to strike with the case, but Hart (and the official, yeah) plead for him to stop. Schyster tosses Hart out of the ring (!) and clocks Beefcake in the face with the case. Overcome, Hart gets up and checks on Brutus. Schyster hands the case to Ted, "your turn!" Hart puts himself between Brutus and DiBiase and they finally back off. DiBiase and Schyster share a hearty laugh (DiBiase: "Welcome back, Brutus! Ha ha ha ha ha!") while Hart yells for help long after his team has left. Vince says Brutus is "holding his face together," but we see no blood. Check that, there's blood on the canvas, but we don't know whose. Slo-mo replay of the case shot, and then real time with sound replay. Promos: GI Joe (new promo!), Bicycle Playing Cards, "T2" Nintendo carts. No Piscopo, thank God. Oh, Brutus is OK after all. In fact, when Money, Limited takes to the ring next week on Raw, Vince wouldn't be surprise to see Brutus make a run-in. Also, "an exciting six man tag match" between Shawn Michaels and the Beverly Brothers against Tatanka and the Nasty Boys. Vince also wouldn't be surprised if Hulk Hogan showed up next week (!). Well, gee, if Vince won't be surprised, then neither will I. Christopher Zimmerman / Five months of WWF on USA in the Archives / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu / zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu /