From: kzim@watserv.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Monday Night Raw - 22/2/93
Keywords: The yellow and red..coming up!
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Date: 23 Feb 93 21:30:43 GMT
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WWF Monday Night Raw, shown "live" 22.2.93 on the USA Network.

Rob Bartlett seems to have lost some unsightly facial hair.  To compensate  
for this, he's wearing an advertisement for some car repair place in El Paso.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett and the Macho Man Randy Savage.   
The crowd seems to have taken advantage of Vince's "bring in yer Hogan  
memorabilia and save a buck off the ticket price" deal.  Yellow and red  
permeate throughout.  We are informed several times that the Hulkster will be  
live later.  Like he's dead now.

Bam Bam Bigelow v. Scott Taylor.  Good ol' Bartlett still hasn't gotten the  
hang of this WWF stuff yet.  "Geez, did they get some guy off the street to  
wrestle him?"  When Savage compliments Taylor's feeble attempts to hurt  
Bigelow (by punching him in the head, yet!), Bartlett retorts with "Yeah,  
he's falling real well."  Bigelow gets to show off some interesting  
manouevres but still wins anyway, with the head to the gut off the top rope.

Vince's taped interview with you know who, as if one interview wouldn't be  
enough, or in case you didn't believe it and were going to tune out early.   
It resembles the format of the Hulk tribute interview before WM8 (Sid Justice  
is not mentioned).  I guess it really is sweeps month.  His Hulkness is clad  
in a black ICOPRO T, black headband, no yellow and red.  Hogan does a blanket  
thankyou that resembles Bette Midler singing "Wind Beneath My Wings."  Hulk  
mentions "mistakes," but doesn't go into specifics.  Hulk also mentions  
tabloids, but thanks God that the Hulkamaniacs dwell on the positives, unlike  
those nasty tabloiders.  Hulk's new fifth demandment is "Believe in Hulk  
Hogan."  When he says things like "leader for the nineties," you can almost  
hear the stock markets around the world skyrocket.

Beverly Brothers and Shawn Michaels v. Nice Guys and Tatatatatanka.  Look,  
the Beverlies lost to the Miracle Jobber Combination on last Saturday's WWF  
Mania, and Tatanka is undefeated.  Why bother with the match?  As soon as  
Tatanka comes in, all three good guys start pounding before the bell, real  
scientific like.  The bad guys are soon out of the ring.  Sags and Blake  
start out, quick tag to Nobbs and the Nice Guys double pit-stop the  
Beverlies.  Nobbs hammers Blake until Blake ducks out of the corner so Nobbs  
can hit his head.  Tag to Michaels and we have the basic triple team going.   
Michaels gets Sags and Tatanka to come into the ring and distract the ref.   
Of course, there is a resurgence for Nobbs, and in comes Tatanka.  Even more  
quickly, Michaels tags out to Beau.  Oh my, what devastating chops!  What a  
devastating arm bar!  Tag to Sags, resume arm bar.  Beau's shoulder meets two  
corners and a knee.  Outside interference prevents a three count.  Tag to  
Tatanka.  Arm bar, third verse.  Although Tatanka is pushed into the heel  
corner, three men are no match for the great Tatanka.  When all is said and  
done (chop chop!), it's still Beau and Tatanka.  More chops, more arm bar.   
Tag to Nobbs and we mercifully take an ad break.  Savage, by the way, has  
mentioned that coming up is a live interview with Hulk Hogan.  For the FIFTY  
THOUSANDTH time.  When we come back, it's Blake and Nobbs.  Bartlett: "They  
weren't really wrestling during the break."  Blake ducks and Nobbs flies out  
of the ring.  Michaels shows Nobbs that the steps really are made of STEEL,  
and Sags finally shows up to help out his partner.  Nobbs is thrown into the  
ring, and Michaels tags in.  They trade blows, so Michaels does the dirty  
trick with the eyes to regain the advantage.  The faces protest, distracting  
the ref, and the Beverlies get to do that neat leapfrog thing which they  
hardly do anymore.  2 count.  Tag to Beau, more pounding, another 2 count.   
Tag to Blake, can anyone keep Nobbs down?  Bear hug.  Nobbs fights to make  
his way towards his corner, but gets slammed.  Tag to Michaels, into the  
corner, but Nobbs gets out of the way and Michaels rams the post with his  
head, sort of.  Before Nobbs can make it to his corner, Beau tags in.  Into  
the heel corner again, tag to Blake, and Nobbs knees him in the [lowered]  
head.  Michaels is tagged before Nobbs can make it again, and once again  
Nobbs amazingly takes Michaels down.  Now it's the old "who'll tag first?"  
game, and if Michaels is in, you know it's time for Tatanka to be tagged in.   
The house is on fire, ladies and gentlemen.  The Beverlies break the three  
count, but then this is Tatanka.  All three receive chops, and unbelievably  
Michaels kicks out on his own, at 2.  Fireman's carry--ah!  No wonder he  
kicked out, we needed to see the FIREMAN'S CARRY!  The Beverlies have made  
their way back into the ring and break the count at 2.  The Nice Guys rush  
the Bevs and take them out of the ring one more time.  Michaels, meanwhile,  
has set up the patented side suplex, but somehow Tatanka pulls a counter out  
of the air and pins him.  Eych.

WM9 ad.  Charge your tickets by phone!

Sean Mooney interviews the crowd.  Evidently, they all think Hulk is real  
swell.  You know, later in the show...

The fat ring girl is back.

Crush v. Terrific Terry Taylor.  Before the match, let's run the promos  
(Who's directing this thing anyway?)  ICOPRO (Hart), WWF Figures (How long  
will we see the Bulldog?), Sega Sports cartridges.  We come back to the  
match, and Taylor and Crush are trading shoves.  Of course, Taylor falls down  
from Crush's shove.  Crush with headlock.  Taylor with slaps.  Crush with  
dropkick, and press.  Taylor has his way, once he climbs back into the ring.   
Can you hear that crowd crowing?  Chin lock, just in time for a hilarious  
(ha) Bartlett routine.  Bartlett as Schwarzenegger, unhappy about rumours  
that President Clinton wants to name the Hulkster as the nation's fitness  
czar or whatever it's called.  Anyway, Taylor with neckbreaker and 2 count.   
Crush kicks out by propelling Taylor up and over.  Taylor then makes the  
mistake of punching Crush.  Crush gets mad and makes Taylor somersault  
involuntarily onto his knee.  The Dumbest Finisher of The Nineties (the head  
crush) is applied, and Taylor submits.  How the mighty have fallen.

Let us take you back to last week.  Beefcake still gets hit with the STEEL  
suitcase.

Vince interviews You Know Who.  Come on, he doesn't look all THAT bad.  The  
yellow and red has been replaced with a tasteful melange of red and yellow.   
Hogan keeps calling DiBiase the Multi-million dollar man, something I may  
have to start doing.  Hulk thanks God and Jimmy Hart (in that order) for  
protecting Brut-eye.  Finally we get "what we all wanted to hear..."  "I'm  
back in the WWF!"  He's on a mission, you know.  Out comes Brutus, "the  
bionic Barber," with some nose tape and some bruise makeup.  Brutus also  
thanks God (cheers for God), and Jimmy Hart (not quite as many cheers as for  
God, but close).  Brutus and Hulk seem to talk to themselves about Money,  
Limited.  Hulk proclaims that they're "gonna seize their assets," the first  
of which is their new manager, Jimmy Hart.  Hart:  "This is the greatest day  
of my life!"  We are not reminded of Hart and Hogan's previous relationship.   
Hart has a suitably ugly suit for Beefcake and Hogan.  Hulk has a new name  
for the trio:  the Megamaniacs (which killed every Ultimate Maniacs joke I  
was preparing for this report).  Hulk finally rips off his shirt, but keeps  
his back to the cameras...time will tell how much his chest has shrunk.

WM9 ad...maybe now that Hulk's back, you'll want to buy a ticket.

Six minutes left, and they want to show a Undertaker/Skinner match.  Right.   
As soon as the wrestlers are introduced, we take an ad break.  Then the  
promos:  GI Joe, Slim Jim (Savage), "Spiderman" Nintendo carts.  Skinner is  
using the claw to choke the Undertaker when we get back, and Vince tells us  
that we'll see this match next week.  Also, Bret Hart defends the WWF Title  
against A Headshrinker.

WWF....eh...it could be worse.

Christopher Zimmerman / Five months of WWF on USA Reports in the Archives
  / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu / zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu /