From: kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu (christopher zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Monday Night Raw - 22/3/93
Keywords: Am I on?  Am I on?
Message-ID: <27953@galaxy.ucr.edu>
Date: 23 Mar 93 23:11:11 GMT
Sender: news@galaxy.ucr.edu
Organization: University of California, Riverside
Lines: 91
Nntp-Posting-Host: ucrmath

                                                                            
WWF Monday Night Raw, shown "live" 22.3.93 from the Manhattan Centre, on the
USA Network.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, the Macho Man Randy Savage and Rob Bartlett,
"the WWF's answer to Abe Hirschfield."

We go immediately to a charity piece, narrated by Sean Mooney.  Last week
was the Michael Landon Memorial Awards.  The Hulkster gives a speech, first
in that Hulk voice, then as a normal human being, singing the praises of
Vince McMahon.  Those of you who missed LAST week's charity piece can take
heart because it was included in this week's charity piece.  Vince, you
know, loves the kids.  Vince accepts the award while the orchestra plays the
theme from "Rocky".  Vince gives a rather humble speech, accepting the award
"on behalf of all the athletes and superstars in the WWF," and appears to be
holding back tears.  I don't think he's faking it.

The Bushwhackers v. Damien Demento and Repo Man.  Repo has his new jacket
on.  The Bushwhacker muzak is playing, but no entrance.  The camera pans to
the balcony, where the 'whackers are licking and whacking.  We take an ad
break.  When we come back, they have just made their way to the ring.  They
take turns licking the (fat) raw girl.  Next Sunday, we are told, is the
"March to WrestleMania," shown on USA (TV Guide says two hours!) and the
'whackers will be involved in an exciting six man tag match.  Apparently,
midgets are going to be involved, too.  I'm stoked.  As for this match, my
landlord decided to harass me (I'm moving out soon, so we have the standard
acrimonious end game coming up), so I don't have the specifics.  Suffice to
say that Luke gets a shellackin' but manages to backstroke across the apron
and tag to his "house o fire" partner.  Butch covers Repo after the
battering ram.

Tatanka v. Reno Riggins.  Tatanka has some sort of new prop which he carries
to ringside.  I couldn't tell, but it looked like a stick with some feathers
on it.  (Huh?)  Amazingly, Riggins does not end Tatanka's undefeated streak.
Bartlett calls Tatanka's wardance the "hotfoot dance," and Vince calls the
finisher "the papoose to go," plagarizing from Heenan.

The first inductee into the brand new WWF Hall of Fame is Andre the Giant.
Clips of Andre, piano music, no narration.

Promos:  ICOPRO (Hart), WWF Figures (Bulldog?), "The Incredible Crash
Dummies" game carts

Money, Limited v. Scott Rich (?) and Jeff Armstrong.  "Irwin...Irwin..."
This match is so boring that even Bartlett is changing the channels of the
monitors at the announcers' table.

Mean Gene Okerlund with the WrestleMania IX report.  Exciting Double Main
Event!  Next weeked on the syndies, we get to see the contract signing.
Money/Maniacs.  Gonzales/Undertaker.  "Others."  No stars announced, but I'm
betting on another exciting appearance by Ray Combs.

Doink (The Clown) v. Kamala.  Doink has trimmed his wig a bit, and carries a
gift-wrapped present to the ring.  Doink offers the present to Kamala, who
doesn't bite.  Doink takes Kamala by surprise; Kamala is still staring at
the present.  Doink uses a plethora of holds.  Kamala chops out, but Doink
takes him down again and puts on some more holds.  Kamala tosses Doink a
half hour later, chops, kicks, charges, and Doink hits the canvas.  We take
an ad break.  When we come back, Doink is all over Kamala AGAIN.  Kamala
tosses him out of the ring, and the chase is on.  Doink stops, grabs the
present and wheels around.  This catches Kamala off guard, who takes the
present this time.  Doink climbs in the ring and wins by countout.  There is
nothing in the present, so Kamala gets angry and chases Doink some more.
Doink goes under the ring and Kamala decides to follow.  Doink exits the
opposite side of the ring, grabs the Fink's chair and is ready to hit the
post a few times.  Kamala eventually makes his way out from under,
unbeknownst to Doink, and hits him from behind.  The chase is on again, and
Doink almost gets his wig stolen from a fan as he leaves.

WWF Mania ad.  You know, the world premiere of Aretha Fraklin's "Respect"
set to Bret Hart clips is Saturday during Mania.  Whoop, whoop.

Rob Bartlett's fan club, which consists of the three (fat) raw girls, makes
an appearance.  Bartlett kisses 'em, right on the mouth!  This surprises
nearly everybody for some reason.  I guess you just can't mess with ol'
Bartlett.

Promos:  GI Joe, Slim Jim (Savage), "The Flintstones" Trading Cards

Sunday:  Macho Man vs. Yokokina, Undertaker vs. Bam Bam Bigelow,
Megaultimatemaniacs interview, and the aforementioned exciting six man tag.
I can't wait to see the midgets again.  Two hours.

Monday:  Another Raw?  A highlights hour?  Who knows?  I'll report on it,
whatever it is.

Christopher Robin Zimmerman, the RAW guy
  / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu / zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu /