From: zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Monday Night RAW - 5/7/93
Message-ID: <33748@galaxy.ucr.edu>
Date: 7 Jul 93 19:33:06 GMT
Sender: news@galaxy.ucr.edu
Organization: University of California, Riverside
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Nntp-Posting-Host: ucrengr

Sorry I'm late, but I am on "vacation" in Modesto, and it turns out it's harder
to get time on CSUStanislaus machines than I had anticipated.  Now that you
know everything that happened, here it is in a more wordy fashion...

WWF Monday Night RAW, shown "live" 5.7.93 from the Manhattan Centre, and
broadcast on the USA Network.

Yesterday morning highlights.  As the Fanfare for the Common Man plays in
the background, man after man fails to slam Yokozuna, including Rick
Steiner.

Opening theme:  Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bobby the Brain Heenan, and
the Macho Patriot Randy Savage.  Apparently, they were giving out free flags
at the door, because most people in the crowd are waving them.

Let us take you back to the USS Intrepid.  A Chevy Silverado, the door
prize, is shown.  Lee Rouson, who tried to sing the national anthem, fails
to slam Yokozuna.  
Backlund?  Nope.
Taglianetti?  What, doesn't he play hockey?
Scott Burrell of the Hornets?  Nope.
Scott Steiner?  Nothing there.
'Zima takes a rice break.  His weight was announced at 568 pounds.
Tatanka, after plenty of meaningless chops, fails to slam.  'Zima gets mad
and drop his leg on him.  (Undefeated...yeah, right.)
Bill Fralic gets a leg up, but fails.
Crush would have done it, but didn't get enough crowd cheers.  Apparently,
it also wasn't in the script.
The last competitor was the Macho Man.  Nyah.
Well, I guess that's everybody...but wait!  There's a helicopter!  As Fuji
and 'Zima looked on...oh my God!  It's Lex Luger!!  Lex is a good ol'
redneck after all.  Luger takes out Fuji, poses: Staredown.  With the help
of the steel plate, he softened him up and... yes, he slammed him, sort of.

Vince tells us Luger has challenged 'Zima for the title but Fuji refused.

Blake Beverly (shaved off mustache) v. 1-2-3 Kid - Well, I guess the
lightning's been put out for good, the Kid has some new 1-2-3 tights and
some generic music.  Kid poses with fans as we take an ad break.  Crowd
chants "1-2-3", Blake slaps him.  Kid with all sorts of "unbelievable
maneuvers" until Beverly hits a powerslam, followed by a Rude Awakening(tm).
Blake hits a suplex, and the Kid flies out of the ring.  Blake goes out and
slaps him, then taunts the crowd -- "1-2-3?  This kid couldn't beat me on my
worst day!"  Back in, Blake drives his head into the canvas, headbutt.
Beverly throws him out over the top rope, and the Kid swandives to the mat.
Back in again, backbreaker into another backbreaker, into a powerslam.  1.
Beverly pulls up his head, and the "1-2-3" chant starts again.  Into the
corner, Kid dives but Beverly ducks and Kid plants his face on the canvas
yet again.  Beverly with short clothesline (!), flying headbutt, and once
again the Kid is outside - the Kid's done nothing for at least five minutes.
Finally, Beverly misses, jumping to the floor.  The Kid gets up and, from
the top, somersaults to the floor landing on Blake.  The Kid tries, but
Beverly catches and backdrops him. Fortunately, Beverly follows it up by
missing from the top.  The Kid climbs to the top, and sat on him (if he'd
have been bigger, it would've been a legdrop instead).  1, 2, 3.

Beau Beverly:  Not mentioned.
"One half of Beverly Brothers:"  Not uttered.
Hmmmm...I guess Beau is MIA and the Beverlys are history.  Blake's changed
appearance seems to confirm this.

M.O.M. rap - syndie sketch makes its RAW debut, and I couldn't be happier.

Promos:  ICOPRO (Luger), WWF Figures, Jurassic Park Action Figures

Luna tells us the Beast from the East is yet to come.  Some people might
think I just fed them the straight line of the year.

Bam Bam Bigelow v. Joey "WCW" Maggs - Bigelow wins so fast, the music guy
missed the cue.  I guess they're running late.

"All-American Wrestling" ad.  Hear more about...SummerSlam!  This sunday.

Samu v. The Undertaker - The lights go out for the Grim Reaper's entrance.
Whoopee.  Samu comes on to him...well maybe not.  Staredown.  Samu with two
rights, 'Taker with the chops.  They collide a couple times, neither man
goes anywhere.  'Taker tries a leapfrog and flubs it.  'Take with a drop
toehold (see, he *can* wrestle!), Samu goes out, 'Taker follows.  Samu goes
in and axehandles his pursuer, but 'Taker comes back with a dropkick (see,
he *can* wrestle!).  Afa has some very harsh words for his charge, and sends
him back for more.  'Taker does that neat ropewalking thing.  Samu ducks and
'Taker goes out.  For some reason, he turns to Afa, leading to the sneaky
attack from behind.  Both Samoans take turns chipping at the Pale Destroyer,
as we take an ad break.  When we come back, Samu has been introducing the
Undertaker to all things STEEL.  Samu with powerslam.  1, 2, situp.
Bodyslam by Samu.  Situp.  Clothesline over the top, but 'Taker lands on his
feet.  He gets back up and chokes the Samoan.  Whip to the corner, whip to
the opposite corner, elbow, but he misses the next one.  Samu with a
bodyslam and a headbutt.  'Taker tries to sit up, but only gets halfway.
Samu hits a headbutt from the top.  Instead of covering, he slaps him around
and goes back up to the top.  Sure enough, 'Taker sits up and the
Headshrinker misses.  'Taker with choke and tombstone piledriver for 3.
"With moves we haven't seen before," he wins.  I guess this is the dawning
of a whole new Undertaker.

WWF Mania ad.

Vince interviews Mr. Fuji who claims the slam never happened...Luger used a
hip toss.  "USA" chant is defeaning.  For some reason, Fuji makes that
"anywhere, any place, any time" claim, not remembering how well it worked
for Shawn Michaels.  Out comes Crush, who, after thanking Luger for being
such a great American, accepts the challenge.  Fuji waffles, so Vince goes
directly to Yokozuna.  He says "Hye!" which Vince knows to mean yes in
Japanese.  The title match will take place next week.

Mr. Perfect v. Brian Costello - Instead of swatting the gum, he sticks it to
the (fat) RAW girl's glasses.  The Dublin Destroyer lasts only slightly
longer than Maggs, but at least the music is ready this time.

Promos:  GI Joe, Jurassic Park Action Figures (again), WWF Royal Rumble SNES
Cart (It's Perfect!)

We close with footage of that great American hero, Lex Luger.

Next week:  Yokozuna vs. Crush for the WWF Title.  Gee, wonder if Doink'll
be there...

Christopher Robin Zimmerman, that RAW guy
  / zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu /