From: zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman) Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling Subject: WWF Monday Night RAW - 19/7/93 Message-ID: <34343@galaxy.ucr.edu> Date: 20 Jul 93 05:38:31 GMT Sender: news@galaxy.ucr.edu Organization: University of California, Riverside Lines: 130 Nntp-Posting-Host: ucrengr WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to you "live" from the Manhattan Centre 19.7.93 and broadcast on the USA Network. We start off with secenes from the kickoff of the "Lex Express," yet another in a long line of dopey WWF buses. Your hosts are Vince McMahon, the Macho Man Randy Savage, and Bobby the Brain Heenan, who provide all commentary. Martyr Jannetty v. Shawn Michaels for the intercontinental title - The champ comes out first. "Courtesy RAW - 9 weeks ago" Shawn loses the belt, in case you've forgotten. Shawn starts out jumps Jannetty from behind, and follows it up with a series of elbows. Jannetty flips out of several moves. Two 2 counts by Marty. Like most IC matches, it's too fast for me to transcribe. Michaels flies out of the ring when missing a move. Oh yeah, Diesel's present. Back in, lockup. Commentators wonder if Mr. Perfect is present. Lots of missed moves, and Shawn gets frustrated. Lockup, back to the corner, no clean break as Michaels wallops Jannetty over the head of referee "Blind" Dave Hebner, who is trying to separate the contenders and isn't watching. Whip, but Jannetty ducks out. Michaels hits the empty corner, and Jannetty follows it up for 2. McMahon: "...when they were a tag teams *years ago*..." Jannetty arm bar. Michaels gets out of it and elbows Marty. Again, a whip into the corner, and again Jannetty jumps out and Michaels hurts himself. Jannetty goes to the top and finds the mark. Again Jannetty climbs a corner, but Shawn comes to. Jannetty jumps, but lands on his feet and gives Michaels a DDT (!). 1, 2, foot on the rope, 3. Jannetty's music plays, and while Diesel has a word with Hebner, we'll take an ad break. When we come back, the match is still going on. Seems Hebner had a look at the replay during the ad break, and in that current match-decision-reversal craze that seems to be sweeping the WWF, he rules that the match must continue (or as Joseph Mendes might say "must continue, until Michaels wins.") Jannetty, however, is wiping the floor with Michaels. Repeated 2 counts, which get to Marty, frustrating him. Shawn gets caught in a sleeper. Before we get that old hand falls twice spiel, Michaels gets up on his own, amazing the commentators. With a desperation suplex, Marty is forced to let go of the sleeper. Michaels knees Jannetty out of the ring, near his bodyguard. Nothing happens, Jannetty goes back in, and there's a nice double collision in the middle of the ring. Shawn gets up for a moment so he can do an ultracool flop through the ropes and out of the ring. Diesel immediately rushes over to help him, inviting Hebner out of the ring, and beckoning an ad break. We come back again, and Shawn hits a double axehandle off the top for 2. Chinlock. Marty gets up punching, but Michaels knees him in the gut. Facelock. Various sundry chants from the crowd. Shawn starts using the ropes for leverage. I'm looking for the classic "Hebner-kicks-foot-off-ropes-with-righteous-indignation" move, but I don't get it. Instead, we get the arm falls twice spiel. Up goes Jannetty, who manages to lift up Shawn enough to place him on the rope, hard. Shawn does the Vienna Boys' Choir bit and the "Whoomp! There it is!" chant begins to dominate the "Mar-tee" chant. Jannetty with elbow for 2. Dueling holds leads to a 2 count for Marty. Another duel of holds, and Marty rolls into a 2 count. Michaels, desperate, ties himself in the ropes to force a timeout, but Hebner lets Marty punch him several times anyway. But, in a rare show of brains for the champion, he falls to the floor when Marty attempts to dive on him. He sails through the ropes to the floor. Diesel graciously puts him back in the ring, and Shawn crawls over to put an arm on him. 1, 2, 3. Hebner misses this replay. Promos: ICOPRO (Luger), GI Joe, Slim Jim (Savage) Savage and Heenan argue over whose show is better: Savage's "WWF Mania," or Heenan's "All-American Wrestling." They decide to watch both. Vince interviews Money, Limited. The boos are incredible, and the "Irwin" chant isn't too bad either. The "Superstars" title bout with the Steiner Brothers is hyped. Then, for the real meat of the interview, DiBiase goes back to his "put rRazor rRamon down" mode. This time, the Cuban comes out to face the Multimillion Dollar Man. DiBiase offers him a custodial job. "Richmang...taxmang...no way..." DiBiase: "You don't have a price?" He waves the stack of hundreds he's been playing with this entire time, and after some words, slaps Ramon with it. Ramon slaps DiBiase and cleans house. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a face turn. DiBiase challenges the 1-2-3 Kid to a match, saying that beating him in 30 seconds is the worst insult to Ramon he can dish out. Men on a Mission (from God) v. Rich Myers and Some Other Guy - Not as impressive as their syndie matches, but the crowd seems to dig it. Mean Gene Okerlund with *your* SummerSlam Report, brought to you by Chevy Trucks. Royalty is on the line when Bret Hart takes on Jerry Lawler. The Undertaker takes on Giant Gonzales in a Rest In Peace match, where the rules are only known by the Undertaker. Geez, really smart. This weekend, exciting news about whether WWF Prez Jack "Solomon" Tunney will force the Luger/'Zima Title matchup. Gene does a Tiny Tim impersonation as a harbinger of things to come. Get the barf bags ready... Vince goes over the Lex Express itinerary, and in case we didn't believe it, shows us clips. I'm sure you'll see it this weekend, so I won't ruin it for you. Apparently, Luger will be "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee" on Tuesday. I'm not taping it. Tiny Tim, backstage, sings "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as we take an ad break. Bastion Booger v. Scott Despres - Hmmm, Booger's gaining weight. Next Week's Feature Matchup: A rematch of Hart/Bigelow. Gee, I wonder if Tatanka and Lawler will show. Speaking of Lawler, the King's Court is in session, and after a healthy "Burger King" chant, out comes Tiny Tim. His theme song, amazingly, is "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Tiny Tim. Lawler asks him to sing, and Tim gets out "Ooooh" before Lawler stops him. Tim plugs something, and I'm dying of boredom. Lawler asks him if he's the Burger King, and Tim says "No, you're the Dairy Queen." Lawler takes his vengenace on Tim's uke, prompting what may have been the worst melodramatic portrayal of sadness I've ever seen. God, where's the Gobbledygooker when you need him? "1-2-3" Kid v. Chris Duffy - Promos: WWF Figures, Jurassic Park Action Figures, WWF Royal Rumble SNES cart ("It's perfect!") Out comes Money, Limited to watch the matchup. Vince tells us that the match between the Kid and DiBiase has been signed, for "a later date" (which I guess will be the SummerSlam Spectacular?). Suddenly, Ramon appears out of the crowd to also watch the match, and DiBiase. Kid wins with flippity floppity move. Kid starts to leave, and sees Schyster and DiBiase. He turns around, and sees Ramon. So, he goes out a third way, through the crowd, leaving Razor, Ted, and Irwin. Ramon does the "1-2-3" hand motion to DiBiase, and as the clothes fly for an impending brawl, we take the final ad break. Apparently, nothing happens. Vince tells us that Bret Hart is having his parents flown in for next week's match. We sign off with more shots of the damn bus. Christopher Robin Zimmerman, that RAW guy / a plethora of addresses /