From: zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman) Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling Subject: WWF Monday Night RAW - 26/7/93 Message-ID: <34662@galaxy.ucr.edu> Date: 27 Jul 93 06:11:17 GMT Sender: news@galaxy.ucr.edu Organization: University of California, Riverside Lines: 125 Nntp-Posting-Host: ucrengr WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to you from the Manhattan Centre 26.7.93 (but taped 19.7) and broadcast on the USA Network. Doink threatens the Macho Man, for seemingly no reason. Oh, no, wait, he's tired of all of his interference (clips of Savage dragging out the extra Doink from a previous RAW match) in his matches. Doink promises the "Macho Boy" a big surprise later. Opening credits. Your hosts are Vince McMahon, the Macho Man Randy Savage, and Bobby the Brain Heenan, who provide all commentary. We get a shot of Stu and Helen Hart in the balcony, who are here to provide heat for the upcoming Hitman/Bammer match. Bam Bam Bigelow v. Bret Hart - Luna Tunes comes out wearing a lovely black cast, which goes unmentioned by the commentators, while Hart is introduced as the King of the Ring, for those of us who forgot. Heenan says Lawler is in town, which shouldn't come as a shock to anyone because this is last week's taping. Heenan goes on to call Tiny Tim a "dried up old prune," and, in reference to the Hart parents: "Which one's Stu again?" After a Bam Bam flurry, and subsequent Hitman flurry, Bigelow ends up on the outside of the ring. Hart takes turns between hurting Bigelow on the outside and turning to face Luna for no reason. They both go back in, and Hart climbs to the top and does the flying sitdown on Bigelow. Apparently, this hurts his knee, because the commentators spend the rest of the match talking about it. We take an ad break, and when we come back, Hart is on the outside holding his knee while Bigelow and Luna make out. Hart coms back in. Bigelow with half hour suplex for 2. Devastating whip into the buckly. Hart tries to come back with a cross body, but Bam Bam catches him and slams him. 2. Headbutt. (Savage: "This guy's great!") Second headbutt. Third -- no, Hart rolls away. Bigelow should know better, the third one NEVER works. Hart with punches and impressive back suplex. Hart with punch, dropkick. 2 count for Hart. They trade blows, and Bigelow gets the better of the matchup. Bigelow with dropkick that completely misses, but Hart sells. Chokehold, and another ad break. We come back to the same hold. "Let's go Bret! Let's go Bret!" Bigelow misses a dropkick, and Hart comes roaring back. Punches, baaaaack body drop. Bigelow with headbutt, Hart answers with elbow. 2 for Hart. Hart drags Bammer's hairless head across the rope. Hart with headbutts to the extreme lower back (figure out Heenan's comment). 2 for Hart. Hart with clothesline from the ropes. 2 again. Hart with punches and sleeper. Bigelow takes Hart to the corner to break the hold, but Hart comes back with a reverse DDT. Yes, the Sharpshooter is imminent, so let's cue Jerry Lawler, who is in the balcony next to the Harts, with a working microphone. Of course, Hart breaks the hold and starts for the balcony. He gets as far as the second row before Bigelow wakes up, goes out, headbutts him, and brings him back. Lawler tries to carry the Harts in an "interview," but the Harts rank very low on the clever rejoinder scale, so Lawler flies solo, and is merciless with his comments. Hart gets pummelled. Bigelow for 2. I wonder why, if he's so offensive to the commentators, one doesn't find a why to turn off his mic. Bigelow misses the butt drop from the top, Hart punches away. Hart with two clotheslines (notice Hart isn't dumb enough to try three of anything) and a 2 count. Hart with ANOTHER DDT variant, and off he goes to find Lawler. Yeah, why bother to pin him. Referee "Blind" Dave Hebner gets to 10 faster than Nobbs and Sags were fired, and that's that. By the time Hart gets to the balcony, Lawler is long gone. Watch those security guards push kids out of the way so the wrestlers can get through. Ha ha ha... Anyway, Hart ends up consoling his "obviously" distraught parents. Promos: ICOPRO (Luger), WWF Figures, Jurassic Part Action Figures. Mean Gene Okerlund, with YOUR SummerSlam Report, sponsored by Chevy Trucks, one of which is Lex's. It's official: The Narcissist (oops) takes on Yokozima in a WWF Title Match. Solomon Tunney has ruled that Luger has to wear a forearm pad on his elbow, or something like that. Hart/Lawler (Okerlund thinks Lawler's a jerk. Call your mom and let her know!) RIP Match...hmm, wonder if that'll include an Electric Chair. Doesn't the WWF have one lying around somewhere? Mr. Hughes v. Ross Greenberg - Vince: "I've never seen anyone dis, as they say, the Undertaker in quite that fashion." Vince McMahon: on the cutting edge. Sure enough, a black wreath is delivered to ringside, and sure enough, after the requisite sidewalk slam, Hughes demolishes it. "Undertaker" chant from ringside. Scenes from the great big RCA shindig celebrating the 7-month-late release of "WrestleMania: The Album" nee Slam Jam. True to form, the cover of said album features eight wrestlers, three of which are no longer with the federation. Vince says there's going to be stampedes at K Marts all across the country tomorrow when the album is put on the shelves. Make your own jokes here, kids. It's easy and fun. By the way, we get a shot of Savage presenting Tiny Tim with a new uke. Awwww... Smoking Scotsmen v. Dwayne Gill & Glen Ruth - Heenan says Glen's mother, who Lord Alfred Hayes dated for awhile, is Dr. Ruth. Heenan saves this overlong match. Clips of Ludwig Borge. Apparently, that song which reminds me so much of "Home on the Range" is really the Finnish national anthem. Go figure. Borge doesn't sing. Also, we get some clips of him riling up the crowd before his match, and he pronounces his name "Borg" with no e. Someone better tell him that's not how Vince proncounces it. Vince, in an interview taped "before the show" (read: before the taping, 'cause the audience wasn't clued to the title match yet) talks with Lex Luger. Lex doesn't mind about the forearm pad, he just wanted that title shot. Lex wants the tough questions from the fans. We don't get any, but have a promise that we may get some later. Clips of Lex's call to action. Yawn. Doink (The Clown) v. Phil Apollo - Vince amazes me with his move calling. Vince mentions that Luger will talk about getting expelled from college, as well as steroids in wrestling, in later interviews. Hmmmmmm. Doink wins with the buttdrop off the top (I guess the Kunze Stump Puller is gone), then give Savage a look. Taking the mic, *we* get an ad break instead. When we come back, Doink invites "Macho Boy" to the ring for a face to face chat. Vince restrains him. Doink goes out of the ring to face Savage. Doink #2 soon appears in the ring, while Doink #3 appears in the balcony. A challenge is issued... Promos: GI Joe, Jurassic Park Action Figures (again), WWF Royal Rumble SNES cart ("It's Perfect!") MIA: Slim Jim. Savage accepts the match, promising some mind games of his own. I wonder if that means we'll see the Genius as Macho #2. We fade out with a bit of the reedited "WrestleMania" video, removing unpersons and replacing with new superstars. Christopher Robin Zimmerman, that one and only RAW guy / zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu/