From: zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman) Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling Subject: WWF Monday Night RAW - 13/12/93 Date: 14 Dec 1993 06:38:17 GMT Organization: University of California, Riverside (College of Engineering/Computer Science) Lines: 116 Message-ID: <2ejn0p$86j@galaxy.ucr.edu> Reply-To: kzim@galaxy.ucr.edu NNTP-Posting-Host: ucrengr Summary: C. R. Zimmerman graduates, citizens run amok WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to you "live" from the Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York 13.12.93 and broadcast on the USA Network. Your host is Vince McMahon. Let us take you back to last week and Gorilla Monsoon throwing out Bobby Heenan...for good? Vince introduces his new co-host, James E. Cornette. The Macho Man v. Head Shrinker Fatu - Savage is introduced first, Fatu brings Afa with him. Fatu starts out with the upper hand. Savage fails to trade blows with the Samoan. Savage manages some feeble shots but quickly goes down again. Savage slams Fatu's head to the canvas, forgetting how hard Samoan heads really air. Fatu gives the Macho Man a superkick, and out goes Savage. Then, my neighbor asks if he can borrow a cup of milk and I miss nothing, I'm sure. When I come back, Savage is outside the ring again and Afa is hitting him. Referee "Blind" Dave Hebner is jawing with Fatu about something. Fatu with 2 count. Afa distracts Hebner and throws his horsehair thing to Fatu, who hits Savage with it. Another 2 count. Fatu climbs the ropes, but Savage comes to and crotches him on the ropes. Fatu falls to the floor. Savage delivers a double axehandle from the top to the floor to everyone's amazement. Clothesline by Savage, shot to Afa by Savage, flying elbow (tm) by Savage, 3 count by Savage. Hmmm, he must think he's the new Hogan. Todd Pettengill took some money out of his own pocket and bought some ad time on Monday Night Raw to plead his case. He wants the Macho Man back on WWF Mania as a commentator. Of course, we're not supposed to remember a couple months back when Pettengill was ANNOYED at sharing the stage. OK. It seems that there's a voteline set up. For 99c, you can call and vote yea or nay, should Savage return to WWF Mania? Hell, if I thought my vote would be counted, I'd spend the buck and vote nix. Lex Luger tells us drugs are bad. Make your own joke here. The Smoking Scotsmen v. Steve Smyth & Jim Messenger - Cornette says the Luger can't be in the Rumble Royale, because the winner gets a title shot, and since Yokozuna will be the Champion come WrestleMania, and since Luger has that no-return clause, there's no point. As if the commentators could pay any less attention to this match, for absolutely no reason at all Cap'n Lou Albano comes out and watches the match. Let us take you back to last week's Kid/Michaels matchup, Ramon's blatant interference, Michaels' slap, Ramon's chase, Diesel's stunning right, and Michaels' successive botched Razor's Edge attempts. IRS v. Todd Mata - Thanks to an enterprising WWF cameraman, we get a shot into Schyster's briefcase, where for a fleeting moment we think we see some of Razor's gold necklaces. Gee, aren't there *enough* people involved in this angle? Irwin pushes the cameraman to the ground..hope he got hazard pay! Yuk yuk yuk! Anyway, just to underscore it, Schyster's briefcase "accidentally" swings open again after the pinfall. The WWF: Unbelievable! One of Yokozuna's nightmares is dressing up like Santa Claus, handing out Luger T-shirts, hearing Fuji say "Merry Christmas Undertaker and Paul Bearer" and speaking fluent English while small children give him kisses. I think that's one of Michael Jackson's, too... Great shot of the HELLO R.S.P-W. Well, that's it. *Someone* up there likes us. The Undertaker v. J.S. Storm - Doesn't Cornette seem a little TOO surprised that the lights go out when the Undertaker is introduced? Promos: ICOPRO (Luger), GI Joe, Electronic Hot Shot Basketball The whole match is Vince claiming that the WWF Champeen's management "sold him down the river..." and Cornette flustering. Could there be a face turn in the long range future? After all, those little kids were giving him kisses... anyway, Storm has slightly less than a snowball's chance in hell of beating the Pale Destroyer. Tombstone piledriver. Bodybag. All of a sudden, Mr. Hughes comes out and...whoops, just kidding. Dubba J montage. Doesn't this just prove that all his interviews are the same? Oh well, I kind of LIKE this montage. Sorry. Hype for next week's big deal match: Tatanka/B0rga II. The Native American is out for some politically correct revenge. The Model v. Tim McNeany - McNeany gets three 2 counts, while Martel gets none. He does however, get a Boston Crab on McNeany. No mention of any impending face turn. Let us take you back to last weekend's Superstars, where Vince talks with the Rocket about the shadow thing. Owen challenges the Hitman to a singles matchup. Bret Hart v. The MVP...er... Promos: "New" WWF Figures, Electronic Talking Battleship ("Yeah!"), T2 game carts Vince tells us that next week's cohost will be Shawn Michaels. Hart makes making short work of the Brawler last forever. Sharpshooter. For some reason, we don't get an interview, so what's the point? Maybe someone took too long... Another voteline plug. Here's your chance to see Savage OUT of the broadcast booth permanently! And if you believe that... Next week: M.O.M. in action, The Rocket in action, Dubba J debut, and Tatanka/B0rga, the sequel. And now, a personal note. If you believe the rumours, I've graduated with a B.S. in Computational Mathematics. I don't know what it is either. I think it means I'm going to get a great job as a temp. (smiley...I think) So, if you're looking for someone to fill a copy editing job... (definite smiley) Anyway, I'm moving home this weekend, so I'm afraid I have to stop spoiling you. My connection up there isn't as reliable, so, while I will continue to do my reports, you may not see them until up to 24 hours later. Hopefully, if I tell you this now, you won't bombard r.s.p-w with "CAN SOME0NE PLEEZ POST RAW REZULTZ" posts every Tuesday. And, you won't feel like relying on Motherway for the RAW news... Look this week for my "RAW year in review" post, too. It'll be long and self-indulgent, but also pretty damn funny. Christopher Robin Zimmerman, the original RAW guy / kzim@galaxy.ucr.edu / Will work for food and consistent Internet access