One Year Ago This Week, on RAW:  The first episode of a brand new 
WWF Program, Monday Night RAW, was broadcast live from the 
Manhattan Center in New York City on 11.1.93.  The commentators 
were Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Rob Bartlett, a WFAN 
"personality" on Don Imus' morning show (I think).  Sean Mooney is 
outside, and his only duty is to deny Bobby Heenan entry, who 
disguises himself as, among other things, a woman (Bartlett's aunt), 
and a rabbi (Bartlett's uncle).  Yokozuna squashed Koko B. Ware.  
Bobby Heenan tries to sell us the mysterious "Narcissus," who will 
destory Mr. Perfect for turning on him as well as Ric Flair.  The 
Steiners squash the Executioners.  Razor Ramon hypes his upcoming 
title match with Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble.  Max Moon just loses 
the Intercontinental belt as rumors of his firing were being bandied 
about on r.s.p-w.  The Undertaker defeats Damien DeMento (I miss 
him).  And, while interviewing Doink, Vince has to deal with a 
surprise visit from Crush, who chases the evil clown around the ring.

The one year anniversary of WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to 
you "live" from the Richmond Colesium in Richmond, VA 10.1.94 and 
broadcast on the USA Network.

Let us take you back to two weeks ago, where Pierre helps Johnny 
Polo defeat Marty Jannetty.  Let us take you to one week later where 
Jannetty challenges Polo to a Quebecers/Jannetty & Kid matchup for 
the WWF Tag Team Titles.  Polo/Quebecers interview.  The "Quebecer 
Machine" will destroy "Confetti and the poster boy for Pampers."

Your hosts are Vince McMahon and, by special dispensation from 
WWF Prez Jack "Solomon" Tunney, the Macho Man Randy Savage 
(THIS is the big surprise?  Eych.)

Les Quebecois v. Martyr Jannetty & The "1-2-3" Kid for the tag team 
titles - The good guys enter to the Rockers theme.  Jannetty and 
Jacques start.  Jacques with general pounding, Jannetty counters with 
a head scissors into a bridge for 2.  Both men consult with their 
partners.  Jacques applauds Jannetty's move.  Back into the corner 
and it's Jacques with the knee in the gut.  Jacques whips Jannetty, 
who makes him miss in the corner for another 2 count.  For no good 
reason, both men tag.  Pierre knocks the Kid down.  The Kid leaps 
over Pierre several times and delivers a spinning kick.  2 count.  
Let's call him the "1-2" Kid.  Jacques is tagged in.  Pierre comes in 
during the headlock.  Jannetty comes in to save his partner and the 
four man brawl is on.  Somehow, the Quebecers collide in the ring, 
and both roll out.  The crowd goes wild.  After an extended huddle, 
Jacques comes back in, and then tags Pierre.  Jannetty is in for the 
good guys.  Pierre with arm bar and pounding on the arm.  Tag to the 
Kid.  Double back body drop.  Jannetty throws the Kid onto Pierre.  
Jacques comes in and gets dropkicked.  Again both Quebecers are 
outside the ring.  Polo calls for a timeout...wait, they're both leaving.  
Well, that's it, right?  No, they're walking back.  OK.  After jawing 
with the commentators, Jacques enters the ring.  Jannetty is in.  
Headlock by Jannetty.  Lots of leaping 'n' stuff, which ends with a 
punch in the head by Jannetty.  Jacques runs to his partner, putting 
his head underneath Pierre's legs (make your own joke here).  Let's 
take an ad break.

When we come back, Vince shares with us what happened over the 
break.  Jannetty appears to get a three count on Jacques, but there 
was a foot on the rope.  Luckily, a second official comes out to let 
referee "Blind" Danny Davis know what's going on.  Then he 
disappears.  Back to live action...if you call it that.  Nothing is 
happening.  OK, Headlock by Jannetty on Jacques.  Whip into the 
ropes, and Pierre pulls the top rope down so Marty can take a spill.  
Pierre throws him back in.  unfortunately, Jacques nails his partner 
instead of Jannetty.  The Kid is tagged in and does the house afire bit 
on Jacques, then climbs to the top and somersaults to the floor on 
Pierre.  The Kid clotheslines Jacques and climbs to the top for 
Jacques.  Meanwhile, Polo has taken Marty to the aisle and is 
working him over, distracting the ref so that Pierre can push the Kid 
from the top rope to the apron.  Jacques stomps on the Kid while 
Pierre gets back to his corner.  While Jacques distracts the ref, Pierre 
chokes the Kid on his tag rope.  Tag to Pierre.  Double lift, landing the 
Kid's neck on the ropes.  2 count.  Pierre with repeated punches to 
the back of the head as we take an ad break.  Apparently, Vince 
didn't notice and the director forgot to put up a "...will continue" 
notice.

When we come back, Pierre is destroying the Kid.  Tag to Jacques.  
Elbow for 2.  Vince can't believe the Kid is kicking out.  Bodyslam by 
Jacques.  Tag to Pierre.  Jacques throws Pierre onto the Kid.  2 count.  
Tag to Jacques.  Slap in the face.  Tag to Pierrre.  While Jacques trips 
the Kid, Pierre clotheslines him.  Pierre with headbutt.  2 count.  
Bodyslam by Pierre.  Tag to Jacques.  Dropped elbow.  Impressive 
looking piledriver.  Tag to Pierre who does his somersault off the 
ropes squashing the Kid.  Oh no!  They're going to do it again!  
Jannetty comes in and Pierre falls to the floor.  He hits Jacques, and 
tries to wake up his partner.  He's back in the corner.  somehow, the 
Kid makes the tag.  Jannetty does the house afire bit to both 
Quebecers.  Double noggin knocker.  Jannetty gives a shot to Polo.  
Jannetty with suplex to Pierre as the Kid comes off the ropes.  1, 2, 3.  
Ladies and gentlemen, we have new tag team Champions.  Savage 
leaves the table to present the belts to the new Champs, who talk out 
into the crowd to celebrate.

Memorable moment:  An unknown with "L. KID" on his trunks 
defeats Razor Ramon.

Jim Ross with YOUR Rumble Royale Report.  Hey, ANYTHING can 
happen on Monday Night RAW, you know.  The Rumble is less than 
two weeks away.  So, who's in that Rumble thing?  Here's the list of 
all thirty participants:  Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Doink, Bret Hart, 
Owen Hart, Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Billy Gunn, Bart Gunn, 
Rick Martel, Crush, Tatanka, Adam Bomb, Samu, Fatu, Randy Savage, 
Ludvig Borga, Jeff Jarrett, "1-2-3" Kid, Marty Jannetty, Greg 
Valentine, Scott Steiner, Rick Steiner, Kamala, Mo, Mabel, Bob 
Backlund, Lex Luger, Tenryu, and the Great Kabuki.  Apparently, the 
last two are Fuji's mercenaries.  I guess it's better than watching 
Tenryu stand around like he did last year.  He did get one ghetto 
blaster in on DiBiase, though.  So anyway, there's the main event for 
the WWF Championship:  in a Casket match, Yokozuna is taking on 
the Undertaker.  Razor Ramon is putting the Intercontinental Belt on 
the line against Irwin R. Schyster.  The Harts are taking on the 
Quebecers for no titles, now.  Tatanka and Ludvig B0rga are going at 
it, so they may get two shots at each other.  Whee!  I can't wait!  I 
can't....well...ok, I can wait two weeks.

Promos:  ICOPRO (Ramon), Slim Jim (Savage--new), Street Fighter 2:  
Special Championship Edition Sega carts

Ludvig B0rga v. Ad Break

Memorable moment:  Jerry Lawler destroys Tiny Tim's ukelele after 
Tim refers to the Burger King as "the Dairy Queen."

Oh yeah, B0rga's wrestling.  Brad Anderson (no relation, we presume) 
has a typical "I have no chance but I get in a few moves anyway" 
match with the Hellraiser from Helsinki while Lex Luger, via phone, 
tells us how happy he is to finally be in the Rumble Royale.  For an 
encore, he congratulates his good friends Kid & Jannetty.  Anderson 
goes down in the Human Torture Rack.

Let us take you back to WWF Superstars (McMahon, Lane) where 
Yokozuna wins his handicap match with the banzai drop.  Suddenly, 
the lights go out and...well, you know.  That video wall sure is 
spooky, isn't it?  I love the way, Yokozuna looks up when he's scared, 
like there's a casket flying over his head or something.

Memorable moment:  Doink douses Bobby "the Brain" Heenan with a 
bucket of water, ending his career as we know and love it (Doink, not 
Heenan).

The Undertaker v. Ray Hudson - Golly!  He controls the lights!  That, 
unfortunately, is almost as exciting as this match.  While I have you 
here, have you noticed how they never refer to the Undertaker as a 
former WWF Champion?  Oh, listen, Vince tells us that John Madden 
is in negotiations with Jack Tunney.  Riiiiiiiiiiiight.  If you can believe 
it, the Pale Destroyer wins with the tombstone piledriver.  So, does 
'Taker fit in the double-wide, double-deep casket?

Let us take you back to last week's MNR as Booger and Bigelow have 
a difference of opinion (McMahon, Polo).  Hey, I just noticed that 
Booger has bigger breasts than Luna Tunes!

Hype for next week's big match:  I.R.S. vs. the Macho Man.

Bastion Booger v. Bam Bam Bigelow - Booger is already in the ring so 
we don't get to hear his music.  Bigelow rushes Booger and pounds 
him repeatedly.  Booger is whipped into the riopes at 1 mph.  Booger 
drops Bigelow but misses the splash.  Bigelow goes back to work and 
chokes Booger on the ropes.  Slow whip.  Booger ducks out and 
Bigelow does a Flair flip out of the ring.  Luna Tunes blows kisses to 
Booger.  Booger gets out and walks towards her.  I don't believe it.  
Oh, good, it's just a ruse.  Bigelow axehandles Booger from behind.  
Booger meets the steel steps.  Back in the ring, Bigelow tries to slam 
Booger, but drops him on his back instead.  Then he DOES slam him.  
The crowd is impressed.  Headbutt from the top.  1, 2, 3.  Geez, how 
one-sided and short.  I guess this is a Good Thing.  Booger comes to 
and tries to hit on Tunes again.  She slaps him and Bigelow pounds on 
him some more.  Well, I don't THINK Booger is a face just yet...I guess 
we'll know more later.

Promos:  WWF Rage in the Cage Sega CD games, Bicycle Playing Cards, 
Addams Family Sega carts

Locker room interview with the Quebecers and Polo.  Polo is 
practically in tears.  Jacques reminds Polo that there's a rematch at 
Madison Square Garden next week.  

Memorable moment:  Kamala chases Kim Chee through the crowd.  
Look carefully for Rob Bartlett.

There's a cake on the table.  I personally can't believe Bastion Booger 
just ignored the fact that there was a big sheet cake on the 
commentators' table.  Anyway, Irwin R. Schyster comes out and jaws 
with Savage.  I guess this means no one gets a piece of cake, since 
Savage decks him with it.  Gee, I'm going to bust a gut laughing.

See you next week!

Christopher Robin Zimmerman, that RAW guy for a year now
kzim@ucr.edu