One Year Ago on RAW: With Vince out receiving a charity award, the duties of commentating are left to Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, who get tired of Rob Bartlett very quickly. Bartlett does an imitation of Vince all night. Razor Ramon gets big cheers even though he's still a heel in a squash, Typhoon in a squash. The Giant Gonzales says a whopping eight words in his interview. Jesse Jackson and Randy Savage plug Headlock on Hunger. Bob Backlund defeats Papa Shango, and the Nasty Boys and the Head Shrinkers are all counted out when a "spontaneous" food fight erupts outside the ring. WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to you "live" (and close captioned) 21.3.94 from the Mid-Hudson Civic Centre in Poughkeepsie, New York and broadcast on the USA Network. Your hosts are Vince McMahon and the (banned) Macho Man Randy Savage. Les Quebecois v. The Bushwhackers - This is a non-title match, which is supposed to make you think you don't know who is going to win. Gee, remember when the Quebecers were just starting out and they DESTROYED the 'whackers on "All-American?" Somehow I think this match will be less one-sided. The 'whackers jumps the Champs immediately, who roll out leaving Polo. But Polo is pulled out before any damage is done. The Bushwhackers pose, so the Champs go in and jump THEM. The 'whackers come back, culminating in a double butt munch. One Quebecer splashes another, but then one 'whacker punches another. Finally, something resembling a match breaks out, with the Quebecers in control. After a brief give and take, Jacques rolls out for a consultation, leading to some more Bushwhacker marching. Butch and Jacques get back in, with Jacques getting pummeled. Tag to Luke, more pummeling. Tag to Butch, more punching. Vince asks us to imagine the Bushwhackers as champs. Jacques manages to elbow his way out of the hold. Tag to Pierre, tag to Butch. With more pounding, the Bushwhackers keep control. I'm bored. Pierre is whipped into the buckle. As Butch covers and Jacques runs out to save him, we take an ad break. When we come back, the match has settled into standard Bushwhacker match mode: Luke is being destroyed by the heels. Pierre is bodyslammed onto Luke for 2. Butch makes the save. Pierre slams Luke for 2. Choke on the ropes. Tag to Jacques. Pounding. Luke starts his backstroke across the ring, but Jacques slams him. Tag to Pierre. Jacques back body drops him onto Luke for 2. Tag to Jacques. Tag to Pierre before he even gets through the ropes. That cool move where Jacques trips him while Pierre clotheslines him. 1, 2, foot on the ropes. Tag to Pierre (ok, I missed a tag) who comes off the second rope but hits Luke's knees. Luke backstrokes across the ring and makes the tag. Butch is a house on fire! He's taking out both men! Yes, the battering ram. Fortunately, while the ref tries to put Luke away, and Butch is trying to pin Pierre, Polo comes in and gives Butch a shot to the head. Luke chases Polo around the ring. Polo climbs onto the apron and Butch grabs him. Pierre gives a knee to Butch's back, sending everybody flying (Polo ends up against the railing). Pierre pins Butch. The Champs walk over to Vince for an interview, but before anything can be said, Cap'n Lou Albano comes out to issue a challenge. Calling Albano a has-been, Polo accepts the challenge of Albano's unknown team, and puts the belts on the line. Maybe they'll tell us more later. Stan Lane shows us some photos from WrestleMania X, with the hopes that you'll be the encore presentation which will air next Monday after RAW. Oh yes, Vince mentioned during the previous match that that ten man tag match you all so wanted to see during WMX will be take place on the 4 April show. Say, isn't that.....SWEEPS MONTH? Lots of Irwin R. Schyster Tax Tip sketches, which I guess weren't good enough for WWF Superstars. Vince is losing his voice, but keeps plugging along. Tatanka v. Chris Hammrick - Hammrick does some nice bumps (they even do a replay during the match), but this match keeps going...and going...and going...somehow, it seems less impressive when Hammrick keeps getting up. Gee, I wonder if IRS and Tatanka are supposed to feud. Vince mentions that Bill Clinton couldn't have been in Miami on Sunday, it must have been an impersonator. See, he reads r.s.p-w! Todd Pettengill with your final WMXR. More photos. Rhonda Shear does an orgasmic interview (for her, not for me...she did try though). One more encore plug for good measure. Promos: ICOPRO (Tatanka), GI Joe Battle Corps action figures, Street Fighter 2: Special Championship Edition Sega carts Diesel v. ? Lucia - Sidewalk slam, drop onto the turnbuckle, boot to the head, Jackknife powerbomb. There may have been some other boring stuff too. Admit it, it's nice to see he doesn't have to use an illegal punch for a finisher. Hype for next week's big match: Lex Luger vs. Rick Martel. Savage thinks that when it comes to Luger, it's "no more Mr. Nice Guy." Vince interviews the NEW WWF Champion, the Hitman Bret Hart. Seeing those Intellibeams reminds me of the Orb concert I went to last year. Anyway, Vince attributes Yokozuna's fall to "fate." Bret promises that we're back to the fighting Champion deal. He doesn't care who it is, they'll all get their shot. A rematch for Yokozuna is promised. Savage is not mentioned, and neither is Luger. Hmmm... Vince calls Hart "the fightingest." After bringing up Owen's victory. Bret offers no excuses, then discounts the victory as "only one match...but you know, things are just a little bit different now. I'm the World Wrestling Federation Champion! Owen, I'm [going to quote the Rolling Stones]!" Savage fails to mention that he could beat the Hitman, instead congratulating him. So much for me liking Savage again. Interview with Burt Reynolds. I'm absolutely convinced he was on a lot of painkillers. Jedoublef Jadoubleredoublet v. Koko B. Ware - you read correctly, the Birdman is back. Oh look, Nikolai Volkoff. Yawn. Ware has gone back to his High Energy outfit. Promos: NBA Jam carts, Jurassic Park action figures, T2 carts Vince tells us "don't believe any of that crap that you read in the tabloids about Burt Reynolds." Dubba J is jawing about a title shot with the Hitman. Dubba Ko is getting tossed repeatedly. Geez, welcome back Koko. Arm wringer by Jarrett, shoulder block by Koko. Repeat twice. Koko pulls up his pants and Jarrett goes outside. Koko lunges for Jarrett and hits the turnbuckle. Jarrett with an elbow, followed by a dropkick. Choke on the ropes. Head to the turnbuckle. Koko blocks a second time, and slams Jarrett's head into the turnbuckle instead. Jarrett counters with a snap suplex. Elbow by Jarrett. Whip to the buckle, followed by a clothesline. Jarrett stops to showboat. Bodyslam. Koko must be wondering why he came back. Another bodyslam. The commentators are talking about how Mr. Perfect screwed Luger. Jarrett off the second rope...miss. Koko with shoulder block, another, dropkick. Vince: "It's bowling for dollars!" Koko with bodyslam, dropped elbow for 2. Koko misses a clothesline, and drops his head. Jarrett with a DDT for the pin. Strut. Now, Jarrett has some words for Savage and McMahon, especially Savage. Savage throws a drink at Jarrett, who does the righteous indignation thing and gets in the ring. Savage decides to take him up on the invitation. He's in, no he's not...yes he is! Wow! Savage motions to Koko, and whips him into a big Ware chop. Savage throws Jarrett out of the ring. Cut Jarrett's music, cue Koko's music. What just happened? Isn't this why Savage is supposed to be banned? Ad for WWF Greetings on Call. This will bomb. Next week: "1-2-3" Kid in action, Owen Hart in action, Luger/Martel Christopher Robin Zimmerman, that RAW guy / kzim@galaxy.ucr.edu