From: zimmerma@corsa.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman) Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling Subject: WWF Monday Night RAW - 15/8/94 Date: 17 Aug 1994 07:36:52 GMT Organization: UC Riverside, Dept. of Computer Science Lines: 169 Message-ID: <32semk$8nf@galaxy.ucr.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: corsa.ucr.edu One Year Ago on RAW: The Kid wins his second match against Ted DiBiase when Irwin R. Schyster interferes. Fortunately the Steiner Brothers save him. The Head Shrinkers win a squash, so do MOM. Bam Bam Bigelow also wins a squash. Bastion Booger eats some ice cream, but gets pinned by Marty Janetty (I think that's what my notes say, anyway) and in yet another of the award winning "Who Is Lex Luger?" vignettes, Luger puts down steroids but puts up ICOPRO. WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to you "live" 15.8.94 from the Lowell Memorial Auditorium in Lowell, Mass. Let us take you back last week. Tatanka and Lex Luger sure are having their problems. Tatanka thinks Lex has sold out, and Lex is doing the old "Here we go again" in response. Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Randy Savage. If you watched that "LIVE!" box carefully, you might have glimpsed a peek into the behind the scenes works as some computer animation code blocks out the expected graphics. The King of Harts v. The 123 Kid, part II - The WWF Intellibeams converge into a damn fine replica of a playing card for Owen (he's the King of Harts, you know). Before we can admire the Kid's new "123" spotlights, Owen jumps him. The Kid hits a big spinning kick as Owen rushes him, and down he goes. Pounding, whip, reversal, miss hard into the corner. The Kid winds it up and takes him down. Cool bridge for 2. And that's just the first thirty seconds! The Kid resumes his arm bar. Owen somersaults, kip up, reversal. Owen bend back the Kid's hand and steps on his elbow (I don't watch). Then he does it again (I watched by mistake). The Kid with a somersault and kip up of his own. Spinning kick for 2 by the Kid. Owen gets up and pulls the hair but he can't break the headlock. Owen tries a slam but the Kid rolls with it, following through and holding the hold (and doing the thing, yeah dig it). Owen reverses the headlock into a leg scissors. The Kid reverses THAT and gets a 2 count. Again Owen tries to slam the Kid out of the headlock, but the Kid follows through for 2. Owen once again reverses with a leg scissors, but the Kid rolls THAT one over into another cool bridge for 2. Owen reverses *that* with a bridge out into a backslide for 2. The Kid resumes his headlock and Owen finally takes over with a big suplex. Owen with a thumbs up for the Anvil (oh yeah, the Anvil accompanies the King to ringside) and a headbutt for the Kid. The Kid catches him, so Owen delivers a ghetto blaster for 2. Headlock by Owen (hey, he's really caught on). Vince muses that Owen could probably take that title at SummerSlam. The Kid gets up and elbows out. Owen with a shoulderblock. They're off...leapfrog, duck (or is it duck, leapfrog?) and the Kid blocks Hart's hip toss, does that semipointless somersault for leverage, and hip tosses Owen. Owen kicks the Kid down. Double kip up! (Well, Savage was excited) Owen's posing and the Kid dropkicks him out of the ring. Hey, remember that devastating sliding dropkick that Owen leveled the Kid with at King of the Ring? The Kid tries it, but he doesn't do it as well. Still, Owen goes down, taking the Anvil like a domino with him. For an encore, the Kid climbs the rope and delivers the textbook definition of...well, one of them lucha terms (senton?)...the one where you climb the ropes and plancha the guy on the floor. Neidhart climbs on the apron, so the Kid dropkicks him (he lands on his feet). Let's take an ad break. (Did you ever notice that someone's always out of the ring when they do these things?) USA airs another Sunday Night Slam ad. Hyped matches are Luger vs. Crush and Typhoon vs. Diesel (non-title). Close your eyes and you'll swear Typhoon sounds just like Hogan. No, REALLY. When we come back, the Kid is trying to suplex Hart into the ring. Hart reverses and the Kid lands *hard* on the mats. Owen slams the Kid's head into the apron. Hart goes back in and dives over the ropes, delivering another plancha (I'm a lucha terms maniac, I tell ya!) and then drives the Kid's back repeatedly into the ringpost. In case you are wondering where referee "Blind" Dave Hebner is this whole time, he's discussing the recent price hike in coffee with the Anvil. Owen gives the Kid one more post in the back and throws him back in. Continuing to work on the back, the Kid gets whipped into that turnbuckle really hard. Owen with a big backbreaker. Knee to the back. See a pattern? European uppercut. Another whip into the turnbuckle. Elbow off the second rope into the back. 1, 2, nah. Owen with a big back body drop. 1, 2, nah. The Kid's back may break, but he can still keep them shoulders up. Hey, a counter! The Kid hits a sunset flip for 2. Owen with a semiCamel clutch. Whip, reversal, reversal. Owen hits a Rude Awakening (no, they don't call it that) and climbs the ropes...and misses, of course, landing hard on his knees. So hard, in fact, that he appears to be really hurt. Check that Savage limp. The Kid comes back in a big way, attacking the knee (guess he's not pulling a Kid, that King). Owen tries another ghetto blaster, but the Kid ducks this time and down he goes. The Kid locks in a half crab and the crowd is roaring. At this point, Joe turns to me and says "Yeah, right...how many WWF matches have been won with a half crab?" As if on cue, the Anvil (and I'll bet you were wondering what he was doing here and when he was going to interfere) clotheslines the Kid, and even Hebner doesn't miss it. DQ. Owen gets up and puts the Kid in the Sharpshooter (hmmm, guess his knee feels better) with a little general pounding from Neidhart. Then Neidhart tosses Hebner (OOOOOH! Fines and suspensions!). Owen takes the Kid over to the ropes and adds some leverage to his hold. Three more refs finally break it up...I guess Bret wasn't available. Todd Pettengill with *your* SSR, delivered to you by Domino's. Is it just me or is the Toddster wearing one of Cornette's ensembles? Yes, sir, yes, ma'am, that entire card has been announced, and no, I don't feel like running it down for you again. Well, all right, but this is the SECOND to last time: Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Hart vs. Hart in a cage for the WWF title. Ramon vs. Diesel for the intercontinental title (Walter Payton, his friends call him "Sweetness," will be a good friend of Razor's for the day). The Head Shrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow & Irwin R. Schyster for the Tag Titles. Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano for the Women's Title (do you like Ladies' Title better?) Mabel vs. Jeff Jarrett. Lex Luger vs. Tatanka. Is that it? Todd doesn't give me all the matches this week, but I think my memory has reconstructed it. Hey, look, Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz is on strike! Geez, I thought we'd never see HIM again. You know, he's a DEAD ringer for the MVP, now that I think about it. Let us take you back to before the show where he waxes poetic about how the baseball strike is not the fault of the owners or the players, but of the fans. Hell, maybe he's right. I was going to make a joke about Jewish baseball players, but I didn't want to offend anyone. Well, actually, I have come up with any good jokes yet. Give me a couple weeks. Duke Droese v. Nick Barberie - Promos: ICOPRO (Ramon), GI Joe, Super Street Fighter 2 The Dumpster wins with what Savage has previously called "the high spinning elbow." He didn't have a name for it this week. Leslie Nielsen's report is a lot funnier this week. At the end, a second Leslie Nielsen has the original arrested...I'm not too keen on symbolism, but, doggone it, there's an allegory in here somewhere! Ted DiBiase joins the commentators at ringside, and Vince McMahon announces that the WWF SummerSlam Hotline is up. The Opinion Poll question is "Do you think Lex Luger has sold out?" This single ad is the ONLY mention of the hotline...once again, Herb's WWF "bombardment" rings true, don't it? Kwang v. Tony Roy - DiBiase promises to be in his Lex Luger's corner this Sunday at the Sunday Night Slam when he takes on Crush. Kwang's match lasts about thirty seconds. The King's Court with Ted DiBiase & Paul Bearer - Paul promises that "his" Undertaker will DESTROY Ted's Undertaker. Ted says to tell him that himself, and out comes the 'Taker. He does that lights trick just to show that he really is the Undertaker. Bearer makes some menacing comments, and gets a nice choke for his troubles. Suddenly the lights "mysteriously" go out (no sound effects this time, thank God) and when the lights come back up, Paul is out of the Undertaker's clutches and orgasmic, telling us that HIS Undertaker is here. Ted and his Undertaker do a lot of looking around, but the USA viewers don't see him. I believe it was Matt who said he really was there in the building, but he didn't show up on the tube. I think Savage said it best: "I didn't see nothin'!" Mabel v. Raymond Roy (no relation) - Big elbow from the second rope...well, he lands on his feet first, but still... Jedoublef Jadoubleredoublet v. Scott Taylor - Dubba J takes the mic as we fade away... Promos: Spiderman Venom, Slim Jim (Savage), Mortal Kombat II Referee "Blind" Dave Hebner seems to have recovered from Neidhart's beating--or is that Earl taking his place? Taylor gets several near falls, but eventually Jarrett ducks a high cross body and follows it up with a figure four. Just as the celebration gets underway, Jarrett's music cuts out and Mabel's starts. Out come Oscar and Mabel...they (sort of) don't want to wait until SummerSlam! Although, I must say Jarrett is a LOT more convincing (lying down in the center of the ring) than Mabel (pretending that the WWF officials can hold him back). Sunday at 8pm is the Sunday Night Slam. Luger/Crush, Typhoon/Diesel (nontitle), Bret Hart interview, Bull Nakano vs. Heidi Lee Morgan (loser of the Women's final months ago), and thirty minutes of *LIVE* call-in (wonder how they're getting West Coast callers...) Yes, I'm doing a report, and I'll flame you if you post a request for results before I put it up. See you Sunday! -- / Christopher Robin Zimmerman / kzim@koko.csustan.edu / zimmerma@corsa.ucr.edu /