(Thanks, Google!) From: chris@aimnet.net (Christopher Robin Zimmerman) Subject: WWF Monday Night RAW - 25/3/96 Date: 1996/03/26 Message-ID: <4jaof6$t3i@aimnet.net> organization: Aimnet Corporation newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling Remember, the r.s.p-w.info version (have YOU voted yes yet?) is at the top. Close your eyes and whack the spacebar a couple times to get to the longer version... 1. Shawn Michaels (superkick > pin) Leif Cassidy 11'14" We're joined at ringside at various times by Jose Lothario, Bret Hart (who replaces Lawler at the commentator's table for this match) and Marty Jannetty (Cassidy's New Rockers partner). Jannetty interferes. Hart leaves the booth and stops Jannetty while Shawn gets the pin, then Hart and Michael have a staredown, which Lothario breaks up. 2. Hunter Hearst Helmsley (pedigree > pin) Aldo Montoya 4'42" 3. Ahmed Johnson (DQ) Owen Hart 5'32" The British Bulldog interfered, bringing out all 6 participants in the upcoming WM12 match. Next week: Debut of Mankind (fka Cactus Jack) live from the National Orange Show in San Bernardino, CA (this arena used to have the Sunday matinee show when the WWF played Sunday nights in LA...and may still...any UCR wrestling fans left out there?) WrestleMania XII will be held Sunday at the Arrowhead Pond at Anaheim, CA. Three years ago, on the March to WrestleMania IX: In a matchup of the last two men in the ring at the Royal Rumble, Yokozuna pins Randy Savage after an assist from Mr. Fuji and a Japanese flag. Mr. Perfect defeats Skinner and is ready for the Narcissist. Kamala, with the help of Rev. Slick and the crowd, defeats Kimchee and gets a pith helmet for his troubles. Money, Inc. defeat Reno Riggins and Jerry Sabin. Gene Okerlund conducts the Longest Interview Ever with the Megamaniacs. Tatanka beats George South while Michaels makes a cameo appearance. Of course, Tatanka can't wait until WrestleMania, but Michaels won't oblige. We also learn that Sensational Sherri will accompany Tatanka to ringside and that Shawn Michaels has plans to scalp Tatanka at WM9. Crush goes diving in Hawaii, and promises to crush Doink just like this octopus he's holding...er. In a match so damn good it was the featured match on my only compilation tape, the Bushwhackers & Tiger Jackson manage to get by the Beverly Brother & Little Louie when the good midget pins the evil midget. And finally, since both the Undertaker (Giant Gonzales) and Bam Bam Bigelow (Kamala) both have big WrestleMania matches, *their* match ends in a countout, thanks mostly to Gonzales interfering. WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to you 25.3.96 (but taped 11.3) from the Freeman Colesium in San Antonio, Texas, USA (which you just may have heard is the hometown of Shawn Michaels) and broadcast domestically on the USA Network. Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry "the King" Lawler, who provide (almost) all commentrary. Standard disclaimer (Wot! No Sunny Donna?) The WWF: 50 years.. Shawn Michaels vs. Leif (Garrett Shaun) Cassidy. Oh no, the KLIQ cam! God help us all! By the way, he spelled "clique" wrong. Let's roll the opening credits while we're at it. Shawn takes a mic and reminds us that we're in San Antonio, then introduces us to Super Sock Jose Lothario, who I guess is going to accompany Shawn, at least for the next week or so...Lothario comes out to Shawn's music. Meanwhile, Cassidy stands by looking dopey. After the requisitie embrace, Lothario takes the mic and promises that Shawn will take the title and become San Antonio's first Heavyweight Wrestling Champion of the World. Or something. Finally, Cassidy gives a hearty handshake (Vince calls Cassidy "dorky..." um, Vince, he's still a face!) Suddenly, out comes Bret Hart, and out runs the King, saying something about leaving the lights on in his car. Hart grabs a headset and joins Vince for commentary. Oh yeah, there's also a match gong on, and it isn't all that bad. Of course, it's too fast for me to bother describing any moves, but let's just say there's a lot of bouncing off the ropes, back and forth, and a pretty cool head scissors take down. Finally, things slow down back to transcription speeed with an arm bar by Michaels. In a split screen, we hear Bret say that the best way to counter Michaels is to "beat him into the ground for sixty minutes." Bret respects Lothario, but not "the Mexican style of wrestling." Cassidy hits a vicious powerbomb and then does a Jannetty impersonation (or is it a Warrior impersonation?) Now that Cassidy's got a little offense in, who should show up but Martyr Jannetty? While Cassidy has Michaels in some sort of submission hold, and while Jannetty cheers on his partner, we take an ad break. When we come back, Cassidy is still on top, and still dancing. Hart says when Michaels makes his mistakes, he'll be ready to capitalize. Oh no, Michaels has a cut on his forehead! So THAT'S why they gave us that disclaimer. Hart refers to the vicious beating Shawn got in Syracuse from "nine cheerleaders." Michaels punches out of the arm bar. Somehow, we get about five 2 counts. Cassidy begs off, Michaels follows him into the corner, and there's the Stooges eyepoke. Cassidy does something really cool where he drops him on the rops a la a slingshot, but Michaels kind of lands on him instead. Nonetheless, Cassidy stays in control. Top rope superplex! but only 2. Shawn comes back with a right. Another right. Cassidy puts Michaels back on the corner, but before he can try another superplex, Michaels regains control and throws him out. Clothesline off the top for Michaels. After they both get up, Michaels hits a couple of atomic drops. Cassidy to the corner, and Michaels peppering away with punches. Cassidy is whipped into the ropes, but oh no! Jannetty grabs Michaels' leg as he comes off the ropes. Jannetty helps Shawn moon the crowd. That's enough for Hart, who leaves the booth and takes care of Jannetty while Shawn lands the superkick on Cassidy for the three count. Somehow, Bret and Shawn end up in the staredown, and Lothario smooths things over. Lothario and Shawn leave while Bret gets in a couple more licks on the mic with Vince. Almost completely forgotten in this match is the fact that Jannetty still seems to be carrying that grudge against Michaels. Aldo Montoya v. Hunter Hearst "Sherman" Helmsley - Let us take you back to WrestleMania VIII, where the Warrior runs in and saves Hogan from Sid Justice and Papa Shango. 'course, they don't really show too much of the three guys who aren't the Warrior. This match is best summed up by saying the only offensive move Hunter lands is the Pedigree, and I guess that's all he needs. 1, 2, 3. HHH has a babe with him, of course. Goldust gives an "Edited for Television" interview from the Backlot. With him is a Mannequin dressed liked Piper. Of course, since it's edited for television, we don't get to see under the kilt (like you've ever seen an anatomically correct mannequin anyway). No Marlena. Goldust's movie of the week is "Pinocchio." Fortunately, things turn around when Goldust destroys the mannequin. As the Undertaker approaches the ring for his interview, Dok Hendrix invites us into the store. Wow, a leather jacket! Yeah! I WM12 logo! Where's my piggy bank? Mankind debuts next week on RAW. Prepare yourself. Vince: "Is this the Undertaker's gravest challenge?" Boy, I never get tired of hearing THAT one. Let us take you back to the start of this whole thing with Diesel - Diesel ruins the Undertaker's title shot at the Rumble, 'taker returns the favor at next month's In Your House, Diesel destroys the casket, lays out Paul Bearer, and then sees himself in the new casket. Paul moans and groans, then the Undertaker drops some Satan references. He seems to think he's going to win. You know, if you really REALLY read between the lines, you can hear them setting up Diesel's trip to WCW. "The once shining star that was your future is now a dismal light...your soul, and your fate lies in [the Reaper's] hands..." Tyco R/C (Maximum Heat!) present the Slammys. Cast your ballot! Best Music Video (Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Double J, the Warrior, and Sunny) and Best Embarrassing Moment (Godwinn slops DiBiase, the Kid Dons a Diaper, King Kisses his own Foot, Skip loses to Horowitz, and Hunter Goes into the Hog Pen) are this week's featured categories. Remember, the Slammys will be broadcast at 11PM (10 Central) Saturday on the USA Network (hmmm, right in the middle of the WWF Year in Review). Jim Ross shows us Shawn and Jose and Bret and Stu training, saying their prayers, taking their vitamins, and believing in themselves. Well, it's been about 20 minutes since we've seen some wrestling. Hey, Monday Night RAW is brought to you by Burger King and Starburst! Ahmed Johnson v. the King of Harts - They seem to have spilled something on Johnson's head. Vince almost guarantees that we won't get ripped off when we order WrestleMania. Johnson manhandles Owen while Vince tells us that RAW will be live at the National Orange Show in San Bernardino (a cozy arena at that!) and Tuesday (Superstars taping?) in San Diego. Meanwhile, they've finally locked up again, and almost instantly (again) Hart's been thrown around. Since the show's almost over, let's cue the Bulldog. After a bearhug and a toss, Johnson notices that Bulldog is behind him. Naturally, he turns around long enough for Hart to deliver a martial arts kick, taking him outside. While Hart takes it to Johnson, let's take an ad break. When we come back, Hart's just about ready to reverse things. Spine buster for Johnson. Just as he sets up Hart for the Pearl River Plunge, Bulldog comes in and triggers the DQ. Johnson, of course, double clotheslines both of them. Sensing that his partners need help, the Man They Call Vader (well, at least they're not calling him a mastadon) comes out and turns the tide...until who should come out but Yokozuna and Jake Roberts. Somehow, you get the feeling this one isn't over. While the pandemonium continues, Vince and Jerry outline the WM12 matchup: o The aforementioned 6 man matchup (Yokozuna gets 5 minutes alone with Cornette if his team wins) o Goldust vs. Roddy Piper (Hollywood backlot brawl) o Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. the Ultimate Warrior o Diesel vs. the Undertaker o Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title There's no time for Billionaire Ted, I guess...we've got to show that Bret Hart music video! Hooray! Oh, and on a completely unrelated note: Looks like 13 April is the air date for Request's presentation of the King of Pancrase...only $9.95! Even *I* can afford that! See you at WrestleMania! -- chris@aimnet.net is Christopher Robin Zimmerman | KZiM Archives Count: 1817 Now in Aimnet's Top 10 Empolyee Longevity List! | http://users.aimnet.com/~kzim "Learn...and you will know." - Master Shiang-Lin Wu Vote YES on rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info!