From: zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman) Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling Subject: WWF Survivor Series Showdown - 21/11/93 Date: 22 Nov 1993 23:30:57 GMT Organization: University of California, Riverside (College of Engineering/Computer Science) Lines: 178 Message-ID: <2cri3h$7b@galaxy.ucr.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: ucrengr The WWF Survivor Series Showdown, broadcast 21.11.93 (but taped earlier) on the USA Network. Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan (from the latest Superstars taping--Burligton, Vermont?) and Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon (from Bushkill, PA 8.11). The show is SO big, it emanates from two locations! Whatever. Bastion Booger v. Doink (Ross, Monsoon commentary) - Booger brings a pizza box to ringside. Doink rides in on a scooter, I guess the unicycle is out. At the Clown's request, Booger tries out the scooter, and of course is too inept to keep his balance, falling on his back. Yet, he WRESTLES, ladies and gentlemen. For an encore, Doink squirts Booger with his flower. Booger gets angry and pulls on his arm. It comes out of his jacket, along with five or six handkercheifs tied together. All right, I admit it: this is funny stuff. Finally, they lock up and start the match. Doink takes Booger into the corner, and kicks him in the butt. Then he does the schoolboy trip. Booger goes outside to take a breather. The Clown follows him, bad move. Booger sets up and executes his ringpost sandwich (tm) with Doink. For the next ten minutes (it seems) Booger destroys Doink. Booger: "Now, who's laughing?" Finally, after an eternity, Doink manages a couple punches. Booger clotheslines him and goes for the pin. 1, 2...Doink pats Booger on the back, doing his best referee impersonation. Booger gets up and celebrates. Doink rolls up Booger with a schoolboy for 3. Despite the offensive output consisting of 97% Booger, 3% Doink, Doink wins, which is offensive in a different way. While Booger argues with the ref, Doink sneaks over to the pizza and liberally sprinkles it with Tabasco. I leave the rest to your imagination. Let us take you back three weeks and watch Tatanka lose on "Superstars." Vince plugs the SS Hotline. Vote for the WWF Superstar of the Year! Ray Rougeau (is he still with the company?) interviews the All-Americans. Everyone gets their turn to hype their half of the double main event. Todd Pettengill, with "another episode of 'How to Order Pay-per-view.'" I'm glad I missed all those other episodes... Let us take you back to that Crush/Savage summit, five weeks ago on RAW. Yokozuna flattens Savage. Three weeks later, Savage dumps McMahon and goes after Crush. Tunney suspends him soon after. Crush v. Virgil (McMahon, Heenan) - I sure miss Virgil's music. Crowd chants "USA," presumably to piss off Fuji and not Crush. Virgil, amazingly, gets in some good offensive flurries, unlike all his PPV matches, including probably the last Million Dollar Dream attempt you'll see. The crowd's support of Virgil is almost the loudest of the night. Just kidding, but it *is* pretty loud. Crush eventually applies the 'head vice' (as Cornette calls it). Virgil tries to grab Crush's hair, he tries to stand up, but Crush keeps slamming him to the canvas while continuing the hold. Finally, Virgil passes out. Crush refuses to release the hold after the bell. Then he does release it. Then he puts it on again. Virgilmania is once again dead. Let us take you back to last week's "Challenge," where Rick Martel got his IC title rematch with Razor Ramon. Harvey Wippleman 'costs Martel the belt,' leading to a mild disagreement between Martel, Wippleman, and Adam Bomb, eventually. Thanks to Diesel and IRS providing arbitration, all involved parties kiss and make up and promise to kick some serious booty at Survivor Series. Promos: ICOPRO(Ramon), "New" WWF Figures, Electronic Hot Shot Battleship Ray Combs hypes the Survivor Series. Reo Speedwagon and Shawn Michaels go to the Hart home. Well, actually, those aren't the Harts, but amazing not-even-lifelike reproductions, two guys with masks. There's a big poster of Bret in the house, next to an almost microscopic photo of Owen. Name that angle... Irwin R. Schyster v. Ad Break, Martyr Jannetty (Ross, Monsoon) - IRS slams Jannetty, then straightens his tie. Hip toss by Schyster followed by more posing. Jannetty with punches, two hip tosses, drop kick, crazy man dance. IRS bails out, wisely. Jannetty with wristlock when he gets back in. IRS with shoulderblock. Jannetty reverses, drop toe hold into armbar. To the ropes and IRS *again* goes outside to think. Jannetty with headlock. IRS counters with a head scissors. Break. Jannetty with wristlock, to the ropes. Hey, this technical stuff is boring! Jannetty resumes the headlock, but Schyster powers out and throws Jannetty through the ropes. Irwin follows and slams Marty's head, first into the canvas, then the STEEL steps. Everyone back in again, Jannetty reverses a suplex attempt for a 2 count. IRS delivers another shoulderblock. 1 count. IRS with headlock. The arm drops twice, and Marty manages to take Irwin's head into the turnbuckle. IRS with grapevine, which Monsoon says isn't applied properly, thanks Monsoon. Schyster grabs the ropes to make up for the poor execution. Referee "Blind" Danny Davis misses the rope hold repeatedly as the "Irwin" chant starts up. Jannetty finally counters with a hiplock. Jannetty makes IRS miss in the corner. Comeback by Jannetty, several 2 counts. Suplex by Schyster for 2. Jannetty with shoulderblock counter for 2. Scyster with HUGE clothesline for 3. Hey, no screwjob! This match was GREAT! Wow! Plus, Ross and Monsoon made the call. I wish all WWF matches were like this. Ross plugs the SS Hotline. The WWF: Unbelievable! "Don't fall for cheap imitations." Vince: "No cheap imitations here! (with the possible exception of Reo Rodgers...)" Ray Rougeau interviews the Foreign Fanatics, who display a classic absence of ego by entering together. I love it when Cornette says "Tatonto, the vanishing American," by the way. Polo says he and Jacques are going to dedicate the match to Pierre. Crush secedes from America formally. Promos: GI Joe, Electronic Talking Battleship ("Yeah!"), WWF Royal Rumble game carts (It's Perfect!) Todd Pettengill with *your* SSR. Todd says "Jerry Lawler," fine him!!! All-Americans vs. Foreign Fanatics. "Family Feud." Team Ramon vs. Team IRS. Team Bigelow vs. Team Doink. Let us take you back to "Superstars" where four Doinks take over the video wall after Bigelow's latest victory. Bigelow fails to destroy the video wall. SMW Tag Team Title Match. Pettengill thinks there may even be more changes before Wednesday and encourages us to watch RAW (the one hour highlight show of the SSS) for the latest news. Yokozuna v. Bret Hart for the WWF Championship (McMahon, Heenan) - The Champion is introduced first, followed by a swift ad break. Hmmm, half hour left. Look at my big smile. Hart quickly starts with a serious of right hands. Hart attempts a flying something, but 'Zima catches him and drops him. 'Zima tries to drop an elbow and hits only canvas. Hart kicks 'Zima out of the ring, but the Champ lands on his feet. Dazed, he runs into the post with no help from the Hitman, who's busy leading a "USA" chant. (?) 'Zima clears the cobwebs and slowly makes his way back to the ring, stopping along the way to consult with Mr. Fuji. Hart uses a rope to make 'Zima sing zoprano. Hart resumes with the (illegal) rights. Sleeper hold, good luck. Yokozuna counters by tossing him like a rag doll. Hart with rights, 'Zima with clothesline. 'Zima DOES land an elbow this time and Hart goes out. Back in, 'Zima with knife edge. Head into the buckle. 'Zima with a head vice (must be learning from Crush). Headbutt. Yosh! Another elbow by the Champ. Hart is again kicked out of the ring, and while Yokozuna jaws with referee "Blind" Dave Hebner, Fuji gives Hart a lovetap with the Japanese flag. We take an ad break as the Champ lets his hair down. When we come back, Hart is in a resurgence, somehow, but the Champ quickly gets the upper hand with a smidgen of help. Nerve pinch by 'Zima with all his weight on the Hitman. Amazingly, Hart powers out, but attempts a shoulderblock. This doesn't work. Hart is hurled to the outside and the Polynesian follows. Hart blocks an attempt to slam him into the STEEL steps, and shows the Champion those steps instead. 'Zima comes back with some chops, then a chair to the back, THEN a chair to the head. Before Hebner counts out Hart, let's take another ad break. When we come back, Hart is back in, somehow, and getting punished. Hart with rights. They trade blows. Hart punches more and more than Yokozuna, who doesn't go down. Clothesline by Yokozuna. Then, he drops the leg. Instead of pinning Hart, he poses. Hart's head is introduced to the turnbuckle. Pounding, then choking, by the Champ. Whip into the corner...oh no...Yoko charges and misses. Hart goes back to punching. Clothesline by Hart. Clothesline by Hart. Clothesline by Hart. Yokozuna is down! Yokozuna is down! 1, 2, no. Fuji is up on the apron, and Hart clocks him. Hart on the second rope...no, 'Zima catches him. Hart counters by munching on the skull. 'Zima drops him. Hart with kick to the head. Bulldog from the second rope by Hart! 1, 2, almost! That's it, he's losing. Hart with (tm) elbow off second rope. 1, 2, no. Apparently, Hart's knee is hurting now. Who will get up first? It's Hart. But the Champion counters with a belly-to-belly suplex. 'Zima fails to cover (again). The Champ misses a splash when Hart ducks out. Hart goes for the Sharpshooter and puts it on! Out comes Owen Hart to celebrate the apparent victory...can you see what's coming? Hebner goes out to tell Hart not to interfere, while Fuji comes to and decks Bret with the salt bucket. With righteous indignation, the Rocket attacks Fuji, then Yokozuna, first with fists, then with the salt pail. Why, yes, the unconscious Bret *is* disqualified for outside interference. Quickly, we look away to prevent us from getting the rest of the story. SS ad. Final comments from all four hosts. Oh, good, a M.O.M. rap to close things out. Y'know, for not being in the Survivor Series, they're pretty excited. The Survivor Series is Wednesday! Get excited! Christopher Robin Zimmerman, your man on USA / kzim@galaxy.ucr.edu