by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
QUICK QUOTES: AOL 47.09 (- 1.98), TWX 69.61 (- 4.07 ... last year: 62
1/4), SPLN 6 15/16 ( - 1 ... last year: 46 - blame WrestleLine)
CORRECTION: It was TONYA, not TANYA.
AWARDS: Already got sixty ballots! By next week, I'll have a webified
version, but you should go find it on Usenet NOW! Here's a link to the call for
votes if your browser has a news server specified, a link to the past winners and
category descriptions, a link to the list of
nominations, and finally a link to the official
ballot. Jump on board!
WOW! Wizard of Oz on Saturday! Get your copy of "Dark Side of the Moon"
WCW logo - TV-14-DL - oh, who can say anymore
Highlights of Thunder from Manchester's MEN Arena - and the men were in
full force, doing manly things and being men at their most man...ah, hell,
it's just an *acronym* for "Manchester Evening News" - why am I breaking
into THIS shtick? I can't be BORED ALREADY, can I? That would sure suck.
Oh, and there's the close captioned logo...
Last Thursday in Oberhausen, Deutschland, the Boogie Knights won the tag
team titles! Please ignore the fact that General Rection is in this clip -
just focus on the German lad there - there you go. Our story will be that
Disqo was severly injured during the match. Got that? Disqo injured
DURING THE MATCH. Okay.
Earlier Today, Lex Luger came to Mike Sanders with a big proposal to get
big ratings. Mike Sanders says he's already booked a return bout for
Jindrak & O'Haire which will set it off...and his deal will be the icing on
the cake...but before we find out what it is, Chuck Palumbo comes in and
says that Sean O'Haire has been punked out. We walk with the crowd into
Coming back...live, maybe, Mike Sanders delivers a statement - we WILL have
a world tag team championship match tonight. Since O'Haire is injured, and
since Disqo is injured, he's gonna make it the Perfect Event vs. Alex
Wright...and a partner of his choosing that we'll find out later.
Tonight's main event will be a world title match...Booker T. vs. Lex Luger.
"Enjoy the show!"
Tank Abbott, Vampiro, the Great Muta, Demon, Daffney...see if you can
figure out what all these performers have in common...besides appearing in
these Opening Credits
WE ARE BACK AND LIVE from the Richmond County Civic Center in Augusta, GA
(down there we have a good time, we don't talk, we all get together, any
kind of weather and we do the camel walk - HEY!) 20.11.2K and on the air on
TNT. THIS....is Monday Nitro!
(YUN) YANG (with Leia Meow) v. JAIME KNOBLE (already in the ring) -
interesting choice. Punchfest to start - Yang takes control - into the
ropes, shoulderblock, up and over, leapfrog by Knoble, caught the boot,
backflip, Knobole with a headscissors. Clotheslined out of the
ring...climbing the corner - somersault cannonball off the corner onto
Yang!! Here's a giant picture of the PlayStation box for "WCW Backstage
Assault" which blocks the action - DOWN IN FRONT!! Back in the ring, stomp
by Knoble, into the ropes, caught and powerbombed down by Yang. Both men
slow to get up...Jaime (pronounced "Jamie," but spelled "Hymie") tries a
punch, but it's caught and Yang works the body while keeping the arm hooked
- form of a uranage from there. Yang outside, and bringing a chair back
in. Referee "Blind" Mark Johnson takes the chair from him, though. Boot
to the head by Yang, tossing Knoble outside. Nice sideburns on Yang. Meow
up on the STEEL steps and posing...and there's a scaryrana! And a kick for
good measure. Yang goes outside and puts Knoble back inside, mounts and
punches. Johnson finally pulls him off and warns about the closed fist.
Knoble with a pull of the tights schoolboy for 2. Dueling backslides,
nope, clothesline from Knoble ducked, full nelson attempt from Yang, Knoble
drops down and rolls him up...for 2. Knife-edge chop by Yang, chop by
Knoble, Yang, discus chop by Knoble, chop by Yang, right by Knoble, into
the ropes, do si do, Knoble with a Russian legsweep. Going to the second
floor - guillotine gets 2. Knoble signalling...and climbing the corner
closest to Meow - dummy. Distracted just long enough for Yang to pop up
and grab him...got the legs over his shoulders and OHHHHH sitting back in a
piledriver! (Rev. Ray says it's a "Super Double Leg Back Piledriver" -
thanks, Mr. Gannosuke!) SURELY that'll do it...ohhhhhh, Knoble grabs the
bottom rope after 2! EVAN KARAGIAS is out to louse up this match, but
2...ERR, 3 COUNT *also* appear and bust him up. Back to the ring where
*somehow* Knoble is up - short-arm clothesline is ducked off the reversal,
but the next clothesline hits. Springboard plancha onto Helms & Moore?
His opponent's in the ring! Sure enough, Yang is ready to suplex him back
in after the elbow - but Knoble slips it. Back elbow off Yang breaks the
waistlock...next one is ducked, Yang grabs the leg, Knoble does a full
rotation while in the grasp, rollup - 1, 2, 3!! (4:46) Well, shut my
mouth, a (relatively) clean finish. Post-match, Moore & Helms hit the ring
and beat down Knoble - Yang joins them - but now Karagias is in and working
on Moore - gutshot, DDT. Yang decides to toss Helms. Now Karagias and
Knoble toss Yang...and there's an uneasy staredown...but quick, nobody
cares about this!
Backstage, we look at the EXCITING DOOR of Ric Flair's office - out comes
Luger, which an assurance from the CEO! Flair says he'll make sure he
"does the right thing," then disappears behind his door. Luger gives the
camera his "oops, I did it again" smile and disappears.
Let Us Take You Back to Thunder, where Scott Steiner trussed up Sting like
a turkey after losing to him - then made merry with the lead pipe. Hudson
lists off a litany of fake injuries.
Backstage, we see Alex Wight on the cel phone...talking to Disqo. Spying
Kronik, he walks over and tells them he has a job for them. Adams asks
"how much money you got? You know the gimmick." Wright asks if they'll
take personal cheques. Clark says "Do THE ACOLYTES take personal cheques?"
(He didn't really, sorry.) After they walk off, the Filthy Animals enter
the picture...then chase off Wright with....ice balls? WHATEVER
"Courtesy Battle Dome" .... no, I don't think so.
THE MAN heads out to the ring. "Wooo!" Mayhem is 6 days away - just ask
the graphic! "Woooo! Name another wrestling company in the world
that goes to England, Germany, tears it down - woooo! - that rocks Augusta,
Georgia all night long - wooo! Schiavone, wooo, you were magnificent in
London, brotha - all night long. Wooo. Seriously, the biggest, the best
wrestling company in the world, woooo, is in Georgia tonight! God only
knows the boys love wooo these Southern women. I have been told by a few
of 'em that y'all are all wooo night long. As CEO, I can't do that anymore
wooo but I sure do support it. Woooo! I tell you what I can do, though, I
can recognise Mike Sanders woo as the commissioner of this company, which
he is - don't like Mike - don't like Mike - Mike is the commissioner. And
tonight, on Nitro, for the main event, wooo, he has booked Lex by God
Luger, wooo, the Total Package against Booker T. for the world. That's
right! For the world heavyweight championship! Now I couldn't change that
if I wanted to 'cause it came from the commish, but I'll tell you what I
can do as the CEO, wooo I can spice this baby up, so here's the
deal...twenty years ago, baby, you'd have been mine all night long. Not
you, Mark Madden, I'm talking to her, baby. I'll tell you what I can do, I
can tell you this: that if Lex Luger, the Total Package woo beats Booker T
for the title tonight, I will make it a world title match - Luger vs.
Goldberg at Mayhem - wooo! I don't care *anything* about the streak that
Russo said Goldberg had to run - at Mayhem, if the Package wins, he'll
defend woooo the world woooo by God heavyweight title wooo against
Goldberg! Woooo!" I didn't make up all those woooos, by the way.
JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET is out to say "Jurassic slapass," and invite
Flair back to Charlotte...lest he feel a guitar shot. "In your absence,
Chosen One, I'm not talent, I'm not wrestlin', I'm givin' orders - you
can't touch me - woooo!" Jarrett says since he's gonna hide behind a
pencil, he has a major announcement, and it's not about his big match with
Buff this Sunday at the pay-per-view. "And I wanna be out here to see the
look on your face, Ric...because for months and months, EVERYBODY'S been
wonderin' who the father of Stacey Keibler's baby is. Well, tonight, the
Chosen One is gonna spill the beans. Ric, I know who knocked up your
future former daughter-in-law. I been saying since the day I walked in the
door that I got all the stroke around here, and I'm telling you tonight,
the Chosen One is the one who knocked up Stacey Keibler! That's
right...Miss Hancock got the guitar shot of...whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa, wait,
Dave, wait a minute, Dave, before we go any further, don't you want to know
the juicy details?" DAVID FLAIR: "I wanna know where and when this
happened." "All right, just hold on, I'll tell you the details. Ric, you
just hold your horses up there, too, buddy. Let's go back a few months,
Dave - the night after - the night of the Great American Bash, as I was
celebrating another world title victory - it was at the Marriott,
Baltimore. About 2 am - you must have went to bed REAL real early that
night. Hold on, hold on, I'll get to it - it was about 2 am, I heard a
knock on the door as the party was goin' - I went over to the door, looked
through the peephole, ho ho - there she was. Nothin' but a teddy on, you
know the one I'm talking about, and carrying a full shopping bag. I opened
the door, cleared the party out, and the little Keibler elf wanted to know
if I wanted some of her cookies, Dave. Just wait...so I invited her in,
she sat down on the bed, put her shopping bag there - Dave, I'll let you
know this, straight up: before it went any further I said 'Stacey, what
about David?' You know what she said? 'Who cares about David, you're the
Chosen One, and tonight I've chosen you!' So, Dave...I dimmed the lights,
put on some soft music, we had a couple drinks, and I joined her in bed,
and the rest, as they say, is history. So Dave, I don't know what else to
say. All I know is, I woke up the next morning, and the only thing left in
the room, she was gone, the only thing left was that full shopping bag."
"What was in that shopping bag, Jeff?" "I knew you'd get to that point,
I'll tell you what was in that shopping bag. That shopping bag was full of
crap...just like the rest of that damn story." WOW WHAT A SHOCKING SWERVE
- Flair runs at Jarrett, but he stops him with a boot - then Flair poises
himself for El Kabong. Ric is up too late to check on his son, as
Jarrett's music plays....but BUFF DADDY BAGWELL is out to beat up Jarrett.
They take turns hitting the stage setup until SIX REFS come out and provide
token resistance...Bagwell and the pile tumble, then Jarrett gets shoved
off the stage.
Backstage, Kevin Nash asks Fit Finlay if the Thrillers are around...then
asks him to relay a message - Big Sexy's here tonight, and he's not alone.
Promotional consideration paid for by Crown Books' "I'm Next," Slim Jim
(Savage), America (ha!) Online 6.0 and Mag-Lite!
PAMELA PAULSHOCK stands backstage with Team Canada - tonight, Skipper and
Duggan have a tag match against Kwee-wee and Themonstermeng and she's
looking for comment. Skipper says he's been chosen by Sanders as Wright's
tag team partner, but he's found a replacement for HIMSELF - and points to
Storm. Storm says it'll be a perfect night. Not only will Skipper defend
tag gold, but Duggan will take care of Meng and Storm will show the hicks
from Augusta how a REAL wrestler performs. For some reason, Duggan spends
the ENTIRE segment with both hands over his mouth and his eyes bugged out.
Gunns says "Don't blame Canada, blame yourself" and Paulshock, having
studied at the feet of Okerlund the Swearer says "what a bitch!"
Another shot of Wright getting the pinfall - and the titles. Did he have
different music in Germany?
WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: ALEX WRIGHT (with Deutschland flag) and "PRIMETIME"
ELIX SKIPPER v. PERFECT EVENT - Nash's ally will be revealed just
before RAW - stay tuned! When was the last time a pinch hit partner
successfully defended his title? NEVER. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have new
tag team champions. (3:22) Oh, you want details? Your funeral... "The
Wedding Singer" comes to TNT 1 December! At Mayhem, 3 Count vs. Jung
Dragons vs. Knoble & Karagias! Perfect Event DID bust out a double
slingshot suplex, at least. Finish saw Wright hit his missile dropkick,
but unfortunately referee "Blind" Jamie Tucker was distracted by RAYMOND
STEREO while BILLY KIDMAN popped in, hit the Kid Krusher (tomokaze) on
Wright, then allowed Stasiak to cover him for the fall. It's a bit like
taping three months of Worldwide at the Disney studios, the inflexibility
with which they've handled this set of title changes...don't you think?
WCW Mayhem ad - you cannot imagine something something something
"The following is a paid announcement by Mancow" - NEXT
Paulshock stands with Kwee-wee, Paisley and Themonstermeng. Kwee-wee says
"the Kwee-wee" a few times, then gets Angry. He says HE'S gotten someone
to take HIS place tonight - and brings out General Rection. His sights are
set on Storm. THEMONSTERMENG RIPS THE STICK!! "DUGGAN! When I was
starting out, Kiwi help me. But tonight, I'm gonna rip off that cross eyes
of yours and straighten out permanently! AHH!"
Sanders watches the doin's. Jindrak shows up and asks him what he'll do
about this, since he'd planned on having Kwee-wee worked over and all
before Sunday. Sanders says he can "take a hotshot kid like that on my
worst day." Jindrak and Sanders say "set it off" a few thousand times and
show us they have no business making any sort of delivery on a big ol'
national show like this. Anyway, "let's just say Kiwi's next." They do
the SOL spot - quak quak quak.
Reno and Perfect Event are WALKING! Reno breaks off....but gets punked out
by Big Vito. "Marie says hello!"
Your hosts include TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON & I MISS STEVIE RAY
ALREADY. Who is Kevin Nash's ally? WHO? We take a break to see THE
BATTLE DOME "WARRIORS" having a chat with uberlord of security DOUG
DILLINJA - let's take an ad break before this situation could POSSIBLY
become **any more EXPLOSIVE**
Paulshock stands with Alex Wright, who says he wuz robbed. CEO Flair would
have been looking into this if he'd been a member of any other team, but
they are SCARED of the Boogie Knights. Disqo was on the phone and
he's really mad! They'll get the belts back one day, oh yes they will -
and in the meantime, they'll take out their OWN revenge on the Filthy
Animals - they want a handicap match at Mayhem.
When we come back, the Battle Dome Warriors tell anyone who'll listen that
they're not leaving. RICK WOOF WOOF walks out at this point with the
Battle Dome belt - is he limping? For some reason, Steiner gets muted
every time he says "boys," presumably because they're brothas. Mayhem is 6
Days Away! Steiner drops "You want some? Come get some! You don't like
me? Bite me!" T-Money hits the ring....and goes down. Three other
warriors (two of 'em are white, even!) hit the ring and the numbers take
over. Security does NOTHING. Oh, wait, there they are, finally. I could
have been washing my hair, but NOOOOOO, I had to RECAP NITRO. Are the fans
chanting "You suck" or "this sucks?" Kevin Nash's ally MAY be revealed
when we come back! HEY! Ummm, you still there???
Promotional consideration paid for by Crown Books' "I'm Next" (again),
justformen.com (WHAA?), America (again!) Online and Mag-Lite (again)
See the stars of WCW live in action...while you still can! Good seats
still availble for Mayhem in Milwaukee, as well as Rockford for Nitro,
Kearney, and Lincoln for Nitro
Stasiak tries to order pizza, but Reno barges in and demands a match with
Big Vito. "You set it up and I'll set it off." This sets off another
thousand "set if offs," an SOL, and some bleating
Moments Ago, Rick Steiner fell to four Battle Dome Warriors - NEXT
Backstage, General Rection addresses the Misfits. They take no
prisoners...especially when they're Canadian! Loco says they got his back
- I think that means they'll turn on him either tonight, or at the PPV
KEVIN NASH is out at five minutes to the hour - he's got his hair pulled
back, which probably means this is a "talk only" moment for him. "Augusta,
GA! Big Sexy's in the! Y'know, I woke up this morning and came to the
realisation that I've got thirteen months and ten days left on my contract.
And I've decided that those thirteen months and ten days, Big Sexy's gonna
do nothing but have the time of his life. I drove today from Atlanta with
a real good friend of mine. Somebody I can count on to watch my back. Now
I just sat in the back and watched the Thrillers be given the tag team
titles, so Sanders, bring your jacked up greenhorns out here, because at
Mayhem, I got a partner, and I want a shot at your belts." Out come the
five remaining NATYRYL BORN THRYLLYRZ. Sanders: "You know, Kevin, you
want a shot at the world tag team belts? Hell, I don't know, friend, that
might be a breach. I mean, what you gonna want next - you wanna fly first
class, you self-centered son of a bitch, lemme tell you somethin'... You
wanna shot at the belts at Mayhem? I don't have a problem with that. But,
I've been doin' a little research in the back, and you're not a very
popular guy around here. Let me tell ya somethin'..." "Now before you go
any further, I'm gonna teach you guys something about this business. Chief
Jay Strongbow told me a long time ago you can make friends or you can make
money. I make money." "Yeah, that's - that's what the guys in the back
said, you know, they were - they were putting you together with the rest of
these Cheez Whiz suckin' trailer trash individuals." "Where'd you get
that, Cheap Heat 101?" "What did you say?" "I think you heard me, what's
that, Cheap Heat 101?" "Once again, you don't Get It. You're gonna get
your title shot at Mayhem; however, you've come down to the ring like
you've came down to the ring many times, alone. Which I guess that pretty
much makes you SOL..." "...and you know what that means." Bleat bleat
bleat. "Now, what makes you five greenhorns think you can take me out in
the ring when you can't even hang with me in the bar?" Sanders hits the
ring - right hand takes him out. Big boot for Stasiak, right for Jindrak,
right for Reno, but Palumbo gets in a right and the numbers swarm.
Save is made by...DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE. Makes sense, since Nash
pretty much stole Page's speech word for word a few minutes ago... The
ring clears of Thrillers except Jindrak. Whip into Nash's (almost) big
boot - and a Diamond Cutter. Page and Nash grab the tag team titles and
put on a show. Page: "Hey, jacked up Natural Born Monkeys! Check this out
- this is what it looks like when two older guys will be the tag team
champions of the WORLD!" Nash: "See you bitches at Mayhem!" If you're
like me, all you can wonder is...WHEN did Nash undo his bun?
When we come back, we're backstage as Paulshock stands with Luger, who is
SHOCKED that she'd accuse him of deceit and manipulation! He's doing this
for Goldberg! A Goldberg/Luger world title match is what he WANTS! Luger
asks him to think about it..."I KNOW you'll do the right thing!"
Let Us Take You Back to Last Week when Gunn (and the TV-14-DL ratings box)
turned...and Themonstermeng came to Kwee-wee's aid
LANCE STORM & HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN (with Major Gunns) v. THEMONSTERMENG and
GENERAL RECTION - "If I can be serious for a minute...I need your undivided
attention!" "USA!" "It's been two weeks now and I can't believe you
haven't finalised your presidential election. Now I realise that Americans
aren't that bright, but how hard is it to count? It's simple addition! I
can't believe you screwed up the single most fundamental part of your
Consitution! It's not too late - you can still save yourselves and join
Canada. All rise for the Canadian National Anthem!" First man to speak
over the anthem is Tony Schiavone - SHAME! Shockingly, the gong of
Themonstermeng's theme takes over the sound system instead of the MIA
music. Anthem lasted (:18). I *still* have a 1995 Nitro tape with Duggan
taking on Themonstermeng - these guys NEVER stop fighting each other!
Schiavone: "This is Meng - he will eat you now." Meanwhile,
Themonstermeng's found his COOL PANTS! Mayhem is 6 Days Away, according to
this graphic. Why do they zoom into Gunns so close that we can see the
little fake boobie implant creases? Here we go...I guess. Storm and
Themonstermeng. Big "USA" chant...again. It hurts Duggan's ears! Lockup,
right by Storm, right, right, Themonstermeng powers him to the corner,
chop, chop, right, right, into the ropes, big boot. Off the ropes...but
Duggan puts a 2x4 in the back. Tag to Duggan, held for the open rights.
Themonstermeng fires back, Duggan goes to the eyes - in the corner with
shoulderblocks, rights, arm wringer, punching the kidneys. "USA!"
THEMONSTERMENG IS FROM THE KINGDOM OF TONGA! Duggan tried to headbutt him
- and hurt himself. Themonstermeng drops a headbutt but misses - tag out
to Storm. Into the ropes, kick, karate thrust, again, TONGAN DEATH GRIP!!
But Duggan is in to break it up. Storm to a front face - beind referee
"Blind" Charles Robinson's back, Rection gets the tag, but he can't come in
because Robinson turns around to keep him out. Into the ropes, duck,
double clothesline. HOT TAG!! HOUSE ON FIRE! Right for you, right for
you, right for you, right for you, off the ropes but PRIMETIME ELIX SKIPPER
is just in time to swing the flag into Rection's back...and he falls into a
three-point stance clothesline by Duggan. Right hand. Right hand. LT.
LOCO & CPL. CAJUN & SGT. A-WALL come out and take care of Skipper.
Meantime, Duggan is set up for ANOTHER three-point stance
clothesline....but Meng pops him in the back and they brawl long enough for
Rection to surprise him with a rollup. 1, 2, 3. (3-Eleven)
A sneaky cameraman catches Franchise and Jeff Jarrett having a
discussion...at least, they do until somebody says "clear." Bush league
rank amateurs, this production staff.
MIKE SANDERS joins the commentary team. The tag team title match stands...
"but I'll come up with something before Sunday." He doesn't want to talk
about that, though. So why's he here? Probably to watch the next match...
KWEE-WEE (with Paisley) v. COLD BEER (entrance 1:05) - For some reason, the
commentators are actually SURPRISED that Goldberg is the opponent. Why are
they talking about golf clubs that don't admit brothas while Goldberg walks
out? The world may never know. (Jackhammer -> pin 0:29) Post-match,
Goldberg freezes Sanders' hysterics by invading his personal space. "Let me
tell you something, boy! ["Boy" isn't muted] Case you didn't know it, I'm
my own man. I don't find your battles, I don't fight anybody's
battles...(unintelligible)...far as I'm concerned...(unintelligible)...and
you never know...who's next!" Now here comes THE MAN with some words for
Commissioner Woooo. He's got some problems being both a wrestler AND the
Commissioner. Flair says "Kiwi," then says that Sanders is a wrestler now,
and he's next.
COLD BEER v. "ABOVE AVERAGE" MIKE SANDERS - well, at least he lasted longer
than Kwee-wee. (0:36) Goldberg will appear on "Live with Regis" on
Friday. Replays of a Kwee-wee springboard into a Goldberg spear,
Goldberg's spear on Sanders, Goldberg's jackhammer on Sanders, and the 1 2
3. Super special extra long extended post-match for Goldberg. "One by
one, boys - NO ONE'S safe!"
Close captioning for the hearing imparied (eh? What's that?) is made
possible by Wizards of the Coast - makers of the WCW Nitro trading card
Paulshock stands with Booker T, who tells Luger that it ain't gonna be that
easy tonight. This is Harlem! Bizness! Don't hate the playa, hate the
Let Us Take You Back to Halloween Havoc, where Franchise gave Cat the
chained fist to help Sanders win the commissionership. The next night, he
gave Mz. Jonez a backbreaker.
FRANCHISE (with Torrie Samuda) is out. "Cut the damn music! And
all you inbred morons have a seat while a REAL lady talks." "Franchise,
I've seen 'em on television before, but THIS is the first time I have been
in front of real life Georgian inbred rednecks. It's nass t' see y'all got
yer trucks off the cindar blawks in the yard to come out and see us
tonight! Oh look - all the sixteen-year-old girls brought their little
kids - that's sweet! Well, look - *I* am from LA! So, don't hate me
because I'm beautiful." "Oh, so well said. I tell you one thing, Torrie,
we're lucky tonight, because we're part of the largest family reunion in
Georgia history. Hahahahahaha! I tell ya, on a serious note, I heard the
Nature Boy out here talking about woooo all the pretty ladies. Well as I
take a look, I see a buncha fat, toothless, ugly ladies that you're sittin'
next to - you want to see beautiful, take a look at what I've got with me!
Now, Cat, you wanta come out here week after week while we're on vacation,
talking about this to the Franchise, and that to the Franchise - you're
gonna take me out? Hey Cat, one message for ya: a date with the Franchise
ends a hell of a lot harsher than a date with that skank you walk around
with. Now I know you're dumb enough, so I'll lay the challenge out -
Mayhem! Man to man! Me and you, Cat - maybe you oughta look up my record
- look at where I've come from, look at the people I've damaged, and think
twice. Now, you know who the most ticked off person in the building is
right now...is Buff Bagwell. You see, they've given Buff the unenviable
task of coming out and not only facing a Franchise, but facing a Franchise
that's got three weeks of rest under his belt - now Buff, come on out and
take that ass kicking like a man. Hahahahahaha."
FRANCHISE (with Torrie Samuda) v. BUFF DADDY BAGWELL (with "The Wedding
Singer" graphic) - three-way hardcore match at Mayhem: Reno, Crowbar and
Vito. Yikes. Bagwell riles up the crowd. Lockup, knee by Franchise,
forearm to the back, anothe forearm, kick, taunt, head to the buckle, kick,
kick, into the ropes, Bagwell slides under, clothesline ducked, *Franchise*
misses a clothesline, off the rope siwth a cross body for 0, arm drag
takeover by Bagwell, gutshot, swinging neckbreaker, pinwheel. Torrie grabs
Bagwell's ankle, allowing Franchise to hit a Samoan Drop. To the chinlock
with the knee between the shoulders. Choke on the second rope - holding
him for a slap from Torrie...then allowing Torrie to choke him on the
second rope while he occupies the attention of referee "Blind" Scott James
(not Armstrong anymore). PILEDRIVER!! Franchise springs off the bottom
rope with the stomp - another - standing on the neck. Franchise outside -
pulling on the neck. Hey, I think he's picked his body part! Back inside
- neck vice by Franchise. Bagwell tries to stand...but Franchise goes to
the eyes. Scoop...and a slam. Back to the neck vice. Bagwell slides
under - got him on his shoulders - and falls back with the electric chair.
James puts on the count...up to 5...6...both men up. Bagwell blocks,
right, right, left, right, into the ropes, back elbow, right, into the
ropes, head down, Pittsburgh Plunge...only gets 2?!? Head to the buckle,
right, right, right, right, right, right, right, pulling him up, blatant
choke, into the opposite corner, back elbow up by Bagwell, another back
elbow, Vaderbomb, ONLY 2! Right hand, into the ropes, clothesline,
dropkick, right, scooped up...slammed down. Over to point to
Torrie...pose...Franchise tries to clothesline him from behind, but
Bagwell's got eyes in the back of his head and ducks...and Franchise
collides with Torrie! Gutshot, double underhook DDT (Scott: "Kobashi DDT!"
Me: "HUH?") Sure enough, JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET is out to prevent the
Buff blockbuster...but here's a surprise - CAT is right behind him.
Wailing away on Jarrett on the outside. There's the Blockbuster on the
INside...1, 2, 3. (5:45) Cat and MZ. JONEZ come into the ring to help
Bagwell celebrate - Jones carries a briefcase...wonder what's in it. I
have a feeling we just MIGHT find out. Cat tells Franchise he'd like to
get it on right now. If he beats him, he'll "crawl across the ring, pucker
up, and kiss Mark Madden's fat nasty ass." Somebody call his momma! Jones
*did* bring out the red shoes - "now hit his music!" Jones dances, Cat
dances, Jones AND Cat dance, Bagwell laughs. I guess Franchise isn't gonna
accept the challenge. I dunno. Who cares.
WCW Magazine ad
Let's Take a Special Video Look at Scott Steiner - going back to
Halloween Havoc, last week's Thunder, and...
WHITE THUNDER is out by himself. Sting's so injured he won't be able to
take his title shot next Monday? Steiner has some Kleenex with him.
"Sting...Sting...I...(dabs his sunglasses)...Sting, I sincerely say (takes
out ten tissues)...stay with me, Sting....(drops it all)...Sting, I would
like to say I'm sorry, if I was, but I gave you fair warning that when you
faced me, I was gonna hurt you, see I seen you shaking in your shoes in the
shadows, and I gave you fair warning to walk away, 'cause you were no match
for the genetic freak. I seen you trembling in your boots and I gave you
fair warning to walk away, 'cause you were no match for the man with the
largest arms in the world. But what'd you do, Sting? You listened to the
cheers of the fans, and look where it got you. It got you hurt! So Sting,
when you're sittin' at home tryin' to recuperate, I want you to think about
this. When you come back, I guarantee I'M gonna hurt you again. Now Ric
Flair, the Nature Boy, the new CEO, but when I look at you I see an old son
of a bitch...still trying to screw me out of my world title, because n-
tonight, you changed the stipilation in the main event, but before you made
that stipilation you shoulda asked Goldberg first. 'cause, case you didn't
see it, I gave Goldberg his worst defeat of his career, and he don't want
no more o' me! I proved to him that he was just a mere mortal against the
genetic freak! Sit down, white trash! So Ric Flair, I'm gonna give YOU
fair warning...you keep crossing my path and I don't have a problem with
hurtin' you either. Booker T, at Mayhem, I'm gon' look at you, and I'm
gon' look at the whole world, and I'm gonna say Vinny, Viddy, Voochy. And
I know that's not in your Ebonics handbook, and I know none of these white
trash know what it means, but at Fall--- at-- at Mayhem, I'm gonna give you
the same thing I gave Sting...I'm gonna give you the worst defeat of your
career, and I'm gonna put you outta wrestling, too. Booker T, you think
about this: I am the man with the largest arms in the world, I am a genetic
freak, if you thought I punked your ass at Halloween Havoc, things are
gonna be worse, because it's in a cage, and there won't be anybody to save
you. At Mayhem, you're...your career's gonna be in jeopardy, and I'm gonna
end your reign as world champion. So all you white trash right now, sit
down, get on your knees, and pay homage to the next world champion!"
Steiner joins the announce team during the next entrance...
LEX LUGER (with giant WCW Backstage Assault N64 box graphic) v. AD BREAK
NEXT: Booker T is WALKING!
LOOK! It's an EXCITING DOOR!
Mayhem promo #2 (I think)
WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: LEX LUGER v. BOOKER T. - WCW Mayhem is 6 Days
Away! Lockup, side headlock by T, chain wrestling to a hammerlock, Luger
grabs a rope. Lockup, arm wringerby T, wrenching it in, Luger reverses
back, T reverses again, big heel kick. Right, into the ropes is reversed,
T slips the attempt and throws a back elbow. Luger puts T through the
ropes to the outside...and follows. T puts up a kick. Into the safety
rail is reversed and T hits hard. T put back in the ring - Luger in - big
double axehandle. Into the ropes, big elbow to the back. Again. Big
death suplex. Big cover - 1, no. Big whip into the corner, big whip back
to the first corner, big powerslam, 1, 2, no. Big sledge, big sledge, into
the corner, back elbow up from T, boot up from T, pump kick, into the
ropes, clothesline, into the ropes, reversed, holding up, knee in the gut,
off the ropes but Luger knows the axe kick is coming and tries a
clothesline - T ducks it, kick in the abdomen, off the ropes and the axe
kick DOES hit. T breakdances back up...and COLD BEER pops up at ringside.
Steiner removes his headset and we're treated to feedback for quite a
while. Steiner and Goldberg go at it on the outside, while inside...well,
we don't see it, but T is left laying in the centre when we look back. Big
Ace toolbox elbow to the back of the head, perhaps? SECURITY separates
them but apparently Steiner got a good rake of the eyes while they were
tied up. Luger's got a chair, meanwhile...referee "Blind" Billy Silverman
is outside with THAT melee, and not paying attention. Goldberg in the
ring, and motioning T aside - spear for Luger! T covers and hooks the leg
- 1, 2, 3. (3:46) T and Goldberg...have words? T must think Goldberg
wanted to spear HIM....well now Steiner's in the ring and on Booker T - all
the refs and security hit the ring, but they can't keep them apart. Ring
the bell a MILLION times and bring up those credits!
You're watching BULL!
Christopher Robin Zimmerman