by Christopher Robin Zimmerman WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs By now, you've probably heard the big news - Bischoff is coming back, with WCW's sale to Fusient (who?) New Media and Fish & Chips. Before we all get our hopes up once again, I thought I'd drag out this motley collection of quotes gathered together from the LAST few ownership changes...if for nothing else, then to hope that somebody can read this history, and then NOT repeat it. Please. "I like to write storylines that are based around reality and logic. I mean, that's just how I write." - Vince Russo "I don't think I do, but some people say that I have an ego." - Vince Russo "People don't want just wrestling. They want sports entertainment." - Vince Russo "...historically, if you expect WCW to do anything that's right, they will not do it. If it entails logic and common sense, that company is devoid of it." - Shane Douglas "I don't write wrestling, I write entertainment." - Vince Russo "...it's not so much talent, it's perspective, that's going to make this thing work." - Eric Bischoff "Listen, the wrestling audience isn't stupid. Anyone who thinks they are is shortchanging themselves and the audience." - Eric Bischoff "We came, we saw, it sucked." - jdw QUICK QUOTE: AOL 46.47 (+ 6.44 ... last year: 63 1/4) - The AOL/Time Warner deal went down, not coincidentally, just after the big WCW announcement went down. Thus, there's no more need to track *this* stock...even with AOL holding onto a minority stake in WCW, it's hardly enough to make it worth my while. At the same time, let's do one more for "I'm shocked they're still in business" Sportsline.com [SPLN 5 1/2 (+ 7/8 ... last year: 43 3/4)] - starting next week, I'll move it next to the WWF quote over in the RAW report. WCW logo - hey, did you notice that we this mosquito never made it to the logo OR the ring aprons for last night's pay-per-view? Is it on its way out? (We can only hope!) TV-14-DL - clips from Sin - Goldberg's out! Close captioning is IN! The mystery man was.....Road Warrior Animal! And he...turned on Sid to help Scott Steiner win! EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE post-PPV shows what you and I had to put together on our own because they ran out of PPV time: Ric Flair orchestrated everything behind the scenes. Fortunately, they did a pretty good job of spelling it out with the story elements all night - just too bad the *paying* customers didn't get a *payoff*. On the other hand, giving it away for free tonight just MIGHT be what they need... At any rate, Flair, Luger, Bagwell, Steiner, Midajah, Jarrett, and Animal had congratulations all around and big, big hugs... We're LIVE from Ft. Wayne, IN and the Unnamed Arena! Do you hear music? Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON - Ric Flair worked us all, Goldberg is out, Scott Steiner remains the WCW World Heavyweight Champion, and things have just taken a sinister turn... Let Us Take You Back to Last Night, and Replay of Sid Vicious ... AHHHHHHHHH. In one of the most sickening clips I've ever watched before having a chance to put my fingers in front of my eyes, Sid Vicious came off the top rope with a big right boot to Scott Steiner...and landed completely wrong on his left leg, snapping it in half. This is about three times as nauseating as Theismann. There can be no doubt the we won't be seeing Sid Vicious come back, and it's a shame that it had to be this way. I can't *believe* they showed this - they weren't lying when they asked us to look away if we were squeamish. Schiavone tells us Sid underwent two hours of surgery for compound fractures of the tibia and fibula, and a 43 cm rod was inserted. Because WCW is *nothing* without an inappropriate segue, a dirge begins playing as TOTALLY BUFF hit the ring in suits, leading a procession of ALSO suited WCW SECURITY carrying a coffin as a picture of Goldberg with the caption "September 22, 1997 - January 14, 2001" appears on the Nitrotron. Black wreaths line the ring, along with black ribbons on the top turnbuckles. Bagwell opens the coffin - inside the coffin are a copy of Goldberg's book...along with a spear and a jackhammer. Bagwell bursts into tears over the casket. Hey, remember "Here lies Lex Luger?" Hudson: "COME on!" Luger removes some notes and stands at a lectern. "I've tried to..jot down just a few, just a few thoughts here...we're...Buff and I are sad as some of you are, but we gather here tonight to mourn the loss of a great man, a kind-hearted man, a man with the heart of a lion...Bill Goldberg. We all lost a great hero last night. And I hope that the people responsible for the demise of Bill Goldberg have what suitably justifies the crime, and that will be done by the boss of WCW, the great...man, Ric Flair. I know all of us here and the millions at home have a lotta special thoughts and memories of Bill Goldberg, who is no longer with us ever again - his unbelievable winning streak that set the world of professional wrestling on fire, never be equalled again - a man who went on another winning streak of enormous proportions, under pressure, under the gun of never being seen again in WCW, and it finally happened - we all mourn last night - it's okay - share your feelings - that's what Bill would have wanted. Right? Bill would have wanted this outpouring of emotion you're showing for him right now, because he was a great friend to me, a great friend to Buff, and a great friend to everyone in the back, and a great friend to everyone in this building, and each and every one of those millions of viewers out there watching right now; as a matter of fact, suitably for this very sad but special night, Buff - in all these torn emotions he's going through has jotted down a few thoughts to share with you, please." "If I could just have your silence for a few seconds, please...come on, please. Exactly - exac - GOLDBERG - GOLDBERG - please, yes. He's a great man, Lex - we all know him as a great man. I, speaking for Totally Buff, and I'm sure I'm speaking for the fans out there, but...we know for sure that Goldberg will always be the man." Buff breaks down one more time. Lex asks him to be strong. "You know, there's a light out there - I can see his face...but it's kinda hard to see it when it's six feet under. God, I loved him. I loved him, man, I loved him.." Luger offers a shoulder - and a hanky. "It's okay to grieve - that's what we're here for, all of us together." "Everybody here should grieve, everyone." "At this point in time, I'd like to ask anyone out here in the audience or anyone in the back who has any extra special thoughts to add to our memories of the great Bill Goldberg to please, step forward now." "The Ch-ch-chosen One." JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET, in black suit and guitar, is out. He puts his guitar on top of the casket as if it were a flower...and takes the podium. We return to the funeral march. "You know I came out here tonight, 'cause I feel I have somethin'....very important to say. I just wanna share...one special memory I have of Bill Goldberg. You know, this memory...it stands above all the other memories I have of Bill. So Bill, wherever you are, I hope you're watchin' - I hope you're listenin'. You know, Bill...Lex, this is so hard - this is so hard. Bill, all the time we spent here in WCW together - Bill, you never, ever...BEAT ME. That's right - the Chosen One was never added to that long list of opponents! Bill, it's so unfortunate that you're not here anymore, because I've started - I was gonna start my own streak, and add *you* to the list, so choke on that, you second-streakin', spearin', jackhammerin', snortin', growlin', snottin', *retired* slapnuts - hahahahahaha!" "And now a man who really needs no introduction is gonna join us for this very special moment - none other than the hood emblem, the man who will lead WCW into the next millennium - the greatest WCW World Heavyweight Champion of all time, Big Poppa Pump SCOTT STEINER, along with his freak of the week, his favourite freak MIDAJAH." Midajah wears a veil and Steiner is in black shirt and pants...and title belt. "You know, before I talk about Bill Goldberg, I'd just like to say, after last night at Sin, the list continues to grow and grow, but not without fair warning - see Sid Vicious, I gave you fair warning to walk away, just like I warned Sting, just like I warned Booker T. and it is if you mess with the man with the largest arms in the world, you're gonna feel the pain, 'cause I'm the man with the power, so Sid Vicious, tonight as you lay in your hospital bed with a rod from your kneecap to your ankle, you found out WHY I'm goin' down in history as the greatest world champion of all time! Which brings me to you, Bill Goldberg - you see at Fall Brawl, I may not have hurt you, but I gave you the worst defeat of your career, and I'm sure you wanted a rematch. But you see, in this sport you may have skyrocketed to the top, but quite frankly you weren't man enough to stay on top, so there will be NO REMATCH. Bill Goldberg, good riddance." And he spits in the casket. So does Midajah. All of a sudden, the Goldberg music fires up...but behind the door marked Goldberg are Ric Flair...and Road Warrior Animal. As they start their long walk to the ring...let's take a break. Listen carefully for the magic word "Clear" ... and about another ten seconds of behind-the-scenes audio during Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim (Savage), Geico, Geico (again), "Coyote Ugly" on video & DVD, Lean Pockets from Hot Pockets, and America (ha!) Online! When we come back, the funeral continues - THE CEO & ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL have joined the proceedings in the ring. "Ladies - woooo! - welcome to the NEW W - C - W - and that includes you too, fat boy - siddown and listen up. Anybody out there watching this show right now, have a seat, put down that channel changer because your world changes tonight - woooo! Before you, the greatest collection of wrestlers ever assembled in one ring, in one night, in the history of this business! Woooo! You tell your wife I said that too, fat boy. Big Poppa Pump will tear her up after the show. Here's the new deal: whether you like it or you don't like it, in one night, because of a lot of thought, a lot of backstage thought, a lot of cameraderie with great minds and great athletes, in one night Page and Nash lost the world tag team titles. In one night, your hero, your HERO, our supposed franchise Bill Goldberg goes down and away! Gone! Whaddaya got to say about that now...fat boy? I'm talkin' to the world! Double J! Animal! The Package! Totally Buffed! And Big Poppa Pump RUN - (breath) - the sport of wrestling as of tonight! (breath) You out there can do nothin' about it except continue to know that now you have role models - men you can look up to, men you can idolise! Women, now you can get up in the morning...(breath) you can say goodbye to your fat husband, you can fantasize about a night with Double J - (breath) you can fantasize about a night with Big Poppa! (breath) Or you can get Totally - Buff in one night. It's a new world! We can wrestle - we can think - and we can party ALL - NIGHT - LONG. Last, but not least, forget about Goldberg - very serious. This may be the greatest world champion of our time. It's not the NFL, it's not the NBA, but last night, Sid Vicious, and if you like this, or don't like it, call the Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis, Indiana, he got his leg broke - in - two - by Big Poppa! You know why? Because he dared to try and be on the same plane - it does not happen! Now, over the course of the evening, I'm gonna be interviewing all you punks backstage. You got two choices - you can try and make this level - you can try and get on the boat as we take off...or you can be dealt with on the individual basis by Double J! By the AniMAL! (breath) By the Total Package! Totally Buffed! Or Big - Poppa - BY GOD - Pump!" The Wolfpack theme interrupts the soundtrack at this point and KEVIN NASH is out. Why are the commentators so sure he's not WITH them? Oh well. "What are you doin' out here when I'm talkin'?" "Let me make one thing clear, Ric Flair...I'm not on your team!" "That might work against you!" "I'm gonna cut to the chase. So you're gonna be the brains of this thing, Flair? I guess Steiner's the heart, so tonight - I left Big Sexy back in Indianapolis - tonight in Fort Wayne, the Killer's here!" "You're ta-- shut up! Shut up!" "You shut your mouth! Steiner, tonight, I drive a stake through your heart, take your belt, and then I kill you, Ric Flair." "You're talking awful big for a man standin' out here all alone, lookin' at this!" "Who said I was alone?" This brings out DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS CRAPPY MUSIC. "I got one more friend with me tonight - a guy from Detriot, Michigan that Steiner - I think you know this guy pretty well - he's been poundin' you since you were a kid!" Well, they *finally* worked RICK WOOF WOOF back into the mix. "I want a title shot against Steiner TONIGHT." "You - you don't make the matches - *I* make the matches! You can be eight feet tall - I'M the boss - you don't make the matches. I do--" But next entrance is by CAT & MZ. JONEZ. "Hey, wait a minute, Ric Flair, I'M the commissioner, so I got the power too. Hey wait a minute, Scott Steiner, I think your booty need to be kicked, and I'm gonna take it to the fans. Wait a minute - wait a minute - if Scott Steiner booty need to be kicked, say yeah! So I'll tell you wait, Scott Steiner, it's my duty to please your booty! I have spoken!" The Wolfpack theme plays again and it's ...well, presumably... it's on. SuperBrawl: Revenge PPV ad - you cannot imagine why they felt they had to change the name of one of their signature pay-per-views Backstage, Flair and Totally Buff talk to Crowbar & Daffney. Will he be a team player? "Ric, you're a legend, I have nothing but the utmost respect for you, but...I've always been sort of a loner...and I've never really sorta taken sides before!" Flair tells him anybody can throw trash cans around - start thinking. This is the NEW WCW. WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE: CHAVO GUERRERO JNR (with Sin clips "courtesy WCW.com") v. NITRO AIRS ON TUESDAY NEXT WEEK & CROWBAR (with Daffney Unger...and Sin clips) - Champ enters first because it's a NEW WCW! Crowbar is deep in thought, but we don't hear what he tells Daffney since we'd rather look at clips. Surprisingly, we get a better look at Crowbar's big balcony dive tonight for free than we did during the time we *paid* to see it, but them's the WCW production geniuses for ya. Missed the opening bell during the clips (see what I mean?) and it's Chavo into the ropes, slides under, kick by Crowbar, chop, chop, into the ropes, head down, kick by Guerrero. Up and over, Chavo off the ropes and snaps off a head scissors. Nice dropkick. Bit of a strut before returning to the kick, chop, chop, into the opposite corner, reversed, boot up by Chavo, going up top...another flying head scissors! Chavo up on the shoulders, punching away...Crowbar to the ropes and they BOTH tumble over - Chavo to the apron, Crowbar to the floor. Chavo going up top again - PLANCHA to the floor! Crowbar expresses frustration as a graphic reminds us Nitro will be on Tuesday next week. Chavo pulls him in by the hair, no Crowbar breaks it up and drops down with a hot shot. Slingshot crossbody to come in, quebrada off the ropes! But only 2. Right hand by Crowbar. Legdrop between the legs. Right hand. Chop. Kick, right, chop, chop, chop, it's all Crowbar. Chavo kicks back, switches positions in the corner, chop, chop, big European uppercut, into the ropes but Crowbar holds on - on the shoulders - SPICOLLI DRIVER! Cover...1, 2, no. Hudson corrects Schiavone by saying "Death Valley Driver" after Tony offered "fireman's carry takeover." Gotta love Hudson. Sat up on top - Crowbar goes up with the kick, kick, ANOTHER mighty chop, climbing to the second rope...to the TOP rope...but the Frankensteiner attempt come up empty as Guerrero holds onto the ropes! Guerrero going for the tornado DDT - but Crowbar has that scouted and turns it into a throw. Guerrero with a drop toehold - off the top rope but Crowbar catches him - Northern Lights suplex! 1, 2, NO!! Crowbar picks him up - but eats an elbow from Guerrero. Back body drop over the ropes - NO, more like ON the ropes and Chavo whips his legs backwards in spectacular fashion. Champ on the apron - Crowbar elbows him to the floor. On the apron...LEAP OF FAITH - the big plancha from the apron to the floor! Now in the mount and unleashing rights...rolling him back in...returning to the apron, and climbing...thinking...no, going outside for a chair! Ohhhh...he's *reverting,* we are told. Setting up the chair on the floor, unfortunately in JUST the right position for Chavo to come from the ring with a slingshot, ramming Crowbar's head into the chair on the way down!! Thrown back in the ring - brainbuster! That's all. 1, 2, 3. (6:17?) QUICK to the break When we come back, Totally Buff chat up Bam Bam Bigelow. "Do I get to kick some butt? I'm in." They'll have a big opportunity for him later tonight...and smiles and hugs for now Want to plunk down for Jeff Jarrett T-shirt? Hit wcwgear.com and be ready to PAY 3 COUNT (with Sin clips) v. RAYMOND STEREO & KIDMAN (with Tygress) - Rey slides under Helms and starts punching Shannon while Kidman gets to blows with Helms - Mysterio's back bumps Helms, so he turns around...only to eat an oncoming clothesline from Moore - Kidman slingshots in with a legdrop to Helms! Moore into the ropes, double gutshot, H bomb-alike! Kidman into the ropes, up and over Helms, gutshot, going for the powerbomb, but Helms manages a head scissors takeover out of the ring, landing on his feet. Back in the ring, Moore puts Rey into the spin, ducks a clotheline, but Moore throws him into a body scissors by Helms, onto Moore's shoulders - DOUBLE neckbreaker! Somehow it only gets 2 - maybe Kidman forgot to make the save, but he's in now with a 'rana for Helms. Dropkick. They're paired off in opposite corners - Moore over to punk out Kidman from behind - whipping him into a do si do from Mysterio, sliding under Moore...and hitting a baseball slide into Helms' sensitive area. Moore running at Mysterio, who drops down, dumping him on the top turnbuckle! Broncobuster time - and Helms gets it. We miss Kidman, but next shot shows him falling to the floor following a hot shot - spinning heel kick for Mysterio - Moore isn't done...tope con hilo to the floor onto Kidman, and landing on his feet! Mysterio says "hey, you can't outlucha me!" and springs off the second rope with a corkscrew moonsault onto the pile - one guy left - and Helms hits his tope from the top to the floor! Kidman rolled back in by Moore - ducking to boost Mysterio onto the apron - legsweep takes him down - Moore on the apron as well - running at Mysterio but he hits a back body drop across the corner and Moore hits the floor once again! Kidman crotches Helms on the top - up top for a Frankensteiner - 1, 2, NO!! Into the corner, Kidman off the ropes, but Helms ducks the clothesline, *Kidman* ducks the clothesline, but not the superkick! Helms calls for the Vertebraeker, but Mysterio connects with a right hand, the pile goes end-over-end, that's the Kid Krusher, and that's the 1, 2, 3! (3:17) *Cruiserweight wrestling is BACK!* Before you get too excited, here comes AWESOME MULLET to hit the ring post-match, but Kidman hits a baseball slide dropkick - and a pescado! Unleashing rights until LANCE STORM & ELIX SKIPPER join the melee. SECURITY (bereft of their suits) make the break. "Hey Kidman! Kidman, you wanna jump on Mike Awesome? How 'bout jumpin' on him in a match later tonight - hair vs. hair? Hair vs. hair, Kidman, you and Awesome." "Why don't we do it right now?" "We'll see you later tonight." What'll I call him if he loses his awesome mullet? When we come back, the Cat & Ms. Jones catch up to Kronik, who need a favour - to call it even, they'd like a tag team title shot against the Thrillers. Cat says they got it. Yuks all around. Meanwhile, Team Canada beats up Kidman - how'd he get separated? "You're gonna lose your hair, punk!" Meanwhile, Ric Flair tells Chavito he wants him on the team. Guerrero says what he's been doing has been working very well, and you know the saying, if it's not broken... Flair asks him to drink a few tequilas and chase the Nitro Girls - they can talk about it tomorrow. Mike Sanders comes in next and they take turns smoothing things over. Flair promises to make Sanders his protege, the next "dirtiest player in the game." Sanders asks Flair about the tag team match against Kronik - Flair says he's got everything under control, and not to worry. Meanwhile, Totally Buff hit up General Rection - what's up with this tinny sheen on top of the soundtrack, anyway? They tell him what a big fan of his Ric Flair is - Rection can only muster up a confused visage as they leave him. Next week, Nitro moves to Tuesday night! PLEASE watch! PLEASE! WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE: KRONI>| (with Sin clips) v. CHUCK PALUMBO & SEAN O'HAIRE (with TV-14-DL ratings box and "Nitro Tuesday" graphic) - in a shocking twist to keep you from watching RAW, the challengers enter first! Palumbo and Adams start. Lockup, Adams muscles him down. Lockup, to the corner, clean break? No, right from Palumbo, right, right, right, off the ropes with a shoulderblock and Adams actually goes down. Off the ropes, up and over, Adams tosses him over the top rope to the floor. Palumbo takes a stroll - HOLY COW - Clarke off the apron with a running front flip! Right hand for Palumbo, and rolled back in to Adams, who...dummy...lets him tag out to O'Haire. Lockup, no go. Gonna try again...lockup...no, O'Haire goes behind with a waistlock, Adams with the back elbow, headbutt, chop, right, into the opposite corner, but O'Haire stairsteps up the ropes with no hands, backflip landing on his feet, spinning heel kick finds the mark. Stomp, stomp. Picking him bakc up - right. Right hand. Into the opposite corner is reversed, Adams ducks a clothesline...full nelson...into the uranage. Adams hooks the leg - 1, 2, Palumbo saves. As referee "Born to Do It" Scott James and Palumbo have a chat, Kronik makes the illegal exchange. In the corner, kick, kick, chop, chop, into the opposite corner sternum first, death suplex puts O'Haire down - lightning elbowdrop, another, 1, 2, nope. Gutshot, into the ropes, head down, uppercut by O'Haire, dizzy tag to Palumbo, right, right, forearm, right, into the ropes is reversed, gutshot by Clarke, double underhook, into the butterfly suplex! Free shot for O'Haire on the outside - back to Palumbo - pumphandle - ducks a clothesline from O'Haire and puts HIM down with one - but Palumbo lands a Jungle Kick on Clarke! Stomping away - BOTH men stomping away - Adams comes in and they take a hike. Back to one on one - Palumbo with another kick, right, dragging him over to his corner, head to the buckle, tag to O'Haire. Pulled out, and rammed back into the corner - big smiles for Adams, double clothesline for Clark, O'Haire stomps away on Clarke as Adams ties up James' attention. O'Haire with a right, overhand right, spinning heel kick is ducked, Clarke with the gutshot...and the DDT! Both men down and James putting on the count...at 5, each man tags - Adams with the gutshot, right off the ropes, gutshot for O'Haire, off the ropes with a BIG mule dropkick, clothesline for Palumbo, clothesline for O'Haire, Clarke clotheslines Palumbo outside, setting up O'Haire for High Time - and hits it! 1, 2, Palumbo in JUST in time with a kick for Adams. Clarke back on him - into the ropes, double shoulderblock by Kronik. But now MARK JINDRAK & PERFECTSHAWN STASIAK are out...distracting Adams long enough to eat a Jungle Kick from Palumbo. Palumbo going up top...Adams kicks the top rope and Palumbo's crotch meets the top turnbuckle. Outisde the ring, Jindrak and Stasiak are doubleteaming Clark with stomps. Back to the ring - Adams trying for a superplex - and hitting it! But what he *doesn't* see (and neither does the camera - blaa) is O'Haire coming off an adjacent corner with the Seantonbomb. Palumbo covers - 1, 2, 3. KRONIK JOBS! ALERT THE MEDIA! (Boeing 7:27) Amazingly, we get a replay which shows us the Seantonbomb - heeeeey! Maybe I'm too hard on this crack production staff! ("Don't make me say CLEAR again") Backstage, the trainer's not clearing Kidman to wrestle - he might have a punctured lung. Cat comes in to ask what's up - Konnan offers to wrestle Awesome in Kidman's place in the hair vs. hair match. Cat asks Konnan "what hair?" Konnan says he'll fight for Kidman's hair. Cat offers Kidman a beret - "you might need this." "Hey, that's not funny!" Promotional consideration paid for by One Step nicotine addiction withdrawl system, Buckley's cough suppressant, Hot Pockets from Hot Pockets, 1-800-BAR-NONE, Disney's "The Kid" on video & DVD, and Frank's Red Hot sauce for creepy old men who like young girls - hey lookee new sponsors! Thunder ad still prominently features Goldberg When we come back, O'Haire & Palumbo take issue with Jindrak & Stasiak coming out in their match - they had things under control! Before they go to blows, Mike Sanders (and Reno) arrives and smooths things over - the Thrillers still have the belts, after all, but more importantly than that, they need to stick together and show Ric Flair that they're a team. "Guys, I've always said strength in numbers...and with that bein' said...strength in honour." O'Haire and Palumbo are left scratching their heads. Nitro will air on Tuesday next week! Tell your mom! KONNAN (with Tygryss) v. "CANADIAN KILLER" AWESOME MULLET (with Lance Storm T-shirt ad) in a hair vs. hair match - Before the match gets underway, Flair appears on the screen and tells Konnan he's got nothing to lose, so he's defending Kidman's hair tonight. I thought they made that clear a while back...oh well. If Konnan loses, Kidman gets shaved. Here we go - gutshot by Awesome, forearm, forearm, stomp, head to the buckle, kick, kick, right, into the ropes, lifted up but Konnan counters with a head scissors takeover. Konnan tumbles under a leapfrog, gutshot, into the ropes, rolling thunder lariat. Into the corner, but Awesome puts a boot up - going behind for a German suplex - 1, 2, Konnan kicks out. Arm wringer, pounding the elbow, again, Konnan with a gutshot, running to the top, arm drag - Awesome rolls out. Konnan out after him, but takes a gutshot - Awesome whips him into the safety rail, and back to the ring, back to the railing, foot to the face. Awesome grabs a chair - WHACK. Hey, that's not legal! Awesome grabs the STEEL steps and sets them up...running up the steps and flying...into a chairshot from Konnan! Rolled back in the ring, Konnan up to the top - off the ropes...into the raised boot. Awesome ducks a clothesline...and lands one of his own. "OVER!" Awesome grabs Konnan...setting up for the Awesomebomb...but Konnan breaks free, gutshot, face jam, rolling him over for the cover....but only gets 2! Konnan going for a powerbomb - but Awesome lifts him up and powerbombs HIM instead! Awesome going up top...FROG splash! 1, 2, NO! Awesome can't believe it and neither can I. Awesome decides to go up again - Konnan pops up, right, right, Konnan on top - Awesome punching away...forearm, both men on top...but Konnan ends up on top as they tumble to the mat - yikes - they call it a DDT - good enough for me. 1, 2, 3. (5:04) Konnan is given the scissors and he gets to cuttin'. NO! NOT THE MULLET! Yup. LANCE STORM & ELIX SKIPPER hit the ring, but it's too late. Hudson: "The mullet has been caught and scaled!" Chavo catches up to Rection backstage and says they don't have to be friends, but he doesn't want to be enemies anymore. Rection says he's got a lot of other stuff on his mind, and walks away... WCW Magazine ad sure has a lot of Goldberg in it...but at least they took Torrie Wilson out Close captioning brought to you thanks to America (ha) Online 6.0! Moments Ago, Konnan killed off a perfectly fine mullet Backstage, Awesome mourns the loss of his mullet - Storm vows that it isn't over, and Canada always gets the last laugh... CAT (with Mz. Jonez...and Sin clips) v. TRIPPA B - Cat tells us he's the new WCW commissioner, and with the people behind him, he can whup anybody. "We gonna take WCW straight to the top!" His opponent was hand-selected by Ric Flair, we are told, and this explains his big opportunity. Cat right, right, Bigelow right, right, into the ropes, shoulderblock, stomp, stomp, to the eyes, death suplex, 1, 2, Cat kicks out. Bigelow with a kick in the back, elbow to the back of the head, choke on the top rope, right hand, into the ropes, avalanche in the corner. Tonight, a return bout for the US title! Cat ducks out on a second splash attempt, dancin' kick, drops down for the uppercut, jiggy jig jig, karate chop, breakdancin' elbow, kick, into the corner, roundhouse kick, 1, 2, 3! (1:33) JB routine follows. See the stars of WCW in action! Tix on sale this Friday for SuperBrawl Revege in Nashville! Tix on sale Saturday for Baton Rouge, Sunday WCW hits Columbia, and Monday Nitro is in Winston-Salem! (to air Tuesday) Jeff Jarrett T-shirt shill probably shouldn't start with "Hey, you can become a slapnut!" WCW UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: THE FRANCHISE (with black and white Sin clips - what, are we blood free again?) v. GEN. RECTION - "Cut the music! Fort Wayne, Indiana! WCW - how do ya like the Franchise now? Hahahaha! I promised you imbeciles I would become US Heavyweight champion, and true to a Franchise's word, I wear the sixteen pounds of gold that come with it. Now Hugh Morrus, don't feel bad - you weren't the latest, you were just the last, hahaha. Now, I fear no man in WCW - I am fulfilling my destiny of greatness! Now if you want some more, Hugh Morrus, if you want this US title, then come on down and get your hehehehaaa Franchised!" Hey, guess what word Franchise can't say anymore. That's right, hehehehaaa. Rection storms the ring and goes right to him, to the mat, right, right, right, into the ropes, clothesline. Clothesline. Clothesline. Mounting him and punching away. Tuesday graphic. Franchise punches back - now Rection punches - back and forth, wow, punching, punching, always punching. Into the corner, Rection gets him with...a punch. Choke with the second rope. Kick, standing on the neck - with BOTH feet, even. Rection pulls him out...scoop...and a slam. He's going up top...elbowdrop MISSES. Franchise with a jawbreaker across the knee. Calling for the Pittsburgh Plunge - and hitting it! Franchise goes to his boot for the chain...and takes a bit too long, since Rection is up and behind him. Rection has him - press...and overhead slam. Rection grabs the chain...and throws it out. Mount, five or six rights, throttling him while referee "Blind" Scott James desperately tries to get him off of Franchise - CHAVO GUERRERO JNR is out - *he's* got a chain around his fist and it's loaded on the right hand...to Rection!! Franchise drapes an arm over Rection - 1, 2, 3. (3:02) Err....wha? SuperBrawl Revenge ad #2 When we come back, backstage, ASK MIKE TENAY.COM stands with Rection - "What the -- my head is killin' me, Mike. What does this have to do with the US title? Guerrero! Do you forget who I am? Do you forget where we come from? This isn't about five months - oh my head - this isn't about five months' fight for a US title anymore - this is man against man! My head - is killin' me. I'm sick of playin' games! I'm sick of doin' it the right way! I'm sick of being General Rection! I'm sick of being Hugh Morrus! I'm sick of having my head handed to me every time I get in that ring - Chavo Guerrero, you just opened the biggest can of worms of your life, and I'm gonna finish your career." Lance Storm T-shirt shill #2 MESH HEAD MUSH MOUTH (with Midajah & Sin clips) v. AD BREAK - backstage, Nash does the Wonder Twin Powers - activate salute with Cat, Rick Steiner and Page - and now he's WALKING! Buff Bagwell *still* carries the power of the WCW MasterCard WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: WHITE THUNDER (with Midajah) v. KEVIN NASH - Lockup, Nash takes him to the corner, reversed, knee by Steiner, kick, kick, right, right, right, chop, forearm, chop, Tuesday Nitro next week, into the opposite corner is reversed, reversed back into the corner, back elbow by Nash, right, right, right, into the corner, follow lariat. Brush hair back, short clothesline. Off the ropes, elbowdrop, 1, 2, Steiner kicks out. Running clothesline puts the champ on the outside. Nash follows outside - right hand. Right, right, right, right, right, right, Steiner to the crotch to stop the onslaught. Headbutt to the crotch! Steiner is INNOVATIVE! Stomp. Thrown back under the bottom rope, and Steine follows back in - belly-to-belly suplex - but only gets 2! Steiner has a look for referee "Blind" Mark Johnson, but goes back to Nash with a running foot. Stomp, stomp, into the ropes, Steinerline. Kiss the bicep, drop the elbow. Steiner goes to pushups, just to rile up the crowd. "Check out the guns" pose. In the corner, kick by Steiner, chop, forearm to the head, chop, forearm, scoop...backbreaker across the knee. Head between the shoulderblades - bow and arrow - now with the foot between the shoulderblades. Nash makes a face. Nash to his feet - ready to break the hold, so Steiner puts his head into the buckle. Well, he tries to, but Nash blocks it - going for it again, but Nash blocks it again. Instead, it's *Nash* with the head in the buckle, again, right, right, knee by Steiner, into the ropes, reversal, Steiner ducks a clothesline, but Nash hits the sidewalk slam - Johnson goes down to count, but there's no cover - both men are down. Steiner up at 6...Nash with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," again, again, scoop...Snake Eyes! Steiner begging off? Into the ropes, big boot by Nash. And down comes the straps - is that the cue for the run-in? Here come TOTALLY BUFF & ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL & JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (relaxed DQ 5:11) - Nash has his way with them for a bit, but he's one and they're five, so eventually Nash surrenders to the numbers. Here comes CAT & RICK WOOF WOOF & DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE to make the save - whoops, credits are up and we're out. Well...once again, a decent first hour gives way to an infuriating second hour. Still, if this is a glimpse into WCW's future, they should definitely be worth giving a shot once again. Only question is... is it too late? Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net