teaser: Wow! I had pneumonia! And it was WALKING!
by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL: I had pneumonia, bronchitis, and probably two or
three brand new, other diseases nobody had ever heard of. So I spent
pretty much all the time going all the way back to just after the
SmackDown! taping in bed. I got some antibiotics a week ago, which work
wonderfully except for the fact that I appear to suffer from almost every
possible side effect of erythromycin - except jaundice. "At least I'm not
jaundiced," I would say, but it hardly made things seem better. Anyway,
the ery-tabs run out Friday morning, so I should be good to go JUST in time
to catch my Saturday flight to SoCal, and hit the WOW PPV Sunday. I have
second row seats, so it'll be sign time, daddy. Of course, it's also
possible that this is the LAST thing I should be doing on a weekend after
recovering from all this, but hey - how often do you get to see a
first-ever WOW PPV? That's right.
So anyway, it's catchup time. Let's handle the old business first:
2000 IN QUOTES: It was about half done before I got sacked out. At this
rate I'm inclined to scrap it, but if another crop of you want to volunteer
(and not flake - this is key - flaking is BAD) to help compile, I'll
certainly accept any help.
TERRI GOLD INTERVIEW: I never got my round tuit and blew three weeks not
getting it set up. So....maybe I can get something out of the PPV to make
up for it. If not, I'm sure she will still be around AFTER the PPV after
I'm well, and we can try again.
RADIO RADIO: Shockingly, I *did* appear on WRJN's "In That Very Ring" last
Friday and only coughed once. My voice was in *hideous* shape, but they
thought I did fine, so I'll take their word for it.
TAPES: I have tapes out to everybody who requested them except FK (done
but not mailed out) and JB (one done, one to go). Griff, I got your tape
but haven't started yet. Anybody else who hasn't received a tape from me
and should have, drop me a line and we can figure out where I screwed up.
(Oh, and Matthias, your tape may still be on the way to Germany.)
EMAIL: I profoundly and humbly apologise to anybody who wrote me hoping
I'd write back and then I didn't. At times, I was either online for only a
few minutes a day, or not at all. Since I still don't have my DSL line
fixed (and it's only been *five* months - up yours, Pac Bell) I'm just not
online like I've been in the past. Write me again and I'll try to make it
up to you. Those of you who were belligerent about it, on the other hand,
can SUCK IT, and don't be surprised if I write you back all pissed off. I
probably think I'm entitled or something.
SPECIAL REQUEST: If you have the most recent Worldwide on tape and can
make screen captures, I'd really appreciate a special picture from the
show. Let me know.
THANKS TO: Victor Alicea, once again - I can't remember if I've thanked him
or not, so why the hell not do it again just to be safe? Because I LOVE
this man. Really and truly.
BLATANT PLUG: I keep forgetting to tell you I have an EZboard over at http://pub30.ezboard.com/bcrz -
we've got over 200 registered members and another giant heap of lurkers AND
we generally get along...or, at least, we can intelligently discuss our
differences when we have them. Also, you can get the exciting, "insider"
news straight from me about my latest symptoms and excuses for bringing the
recaps up to seven days late! I like to think our WOW discussion is better
than the WOW message boards, too, but keep that under your hat.
I'd say more about some of the people who emerged from the woodwork after
hearing me dis WCW for bringing "more of the same" but I'm already running
late and you've probably heard it all before...we got another week and
another show! Go go go!
WCW logo - will Fusient change it? Will Bischoff nix a change?
TV-14-DL - Opening credits are slightly altered - figure out who was added
and who was deleted and you'd have a pretty good idea about the future of
this company. Hint: Where's Sting? Close captioned
PYRO AWAY - coming to you via tape delay from the Arena in Baltimore, MD
29.1.1 (and they're NOT live and they need to STOP saying they're live
because they're LYING) and airing on Turner Network Television, this is WCW
Monday Nitro! Believe it or not, wrestling isn't the biggest sport on
people's minds tonight, but we'll find a way - whoa, they're letting us
hear DAVID PENZER's ring introductions once again? It's about DAMN time...
"PRIME TIME" ELIX SKIPPER v. YANG (with Leia Meow) v. SHANNON MOORE v.
JAMIE KNOBLE in a four corners match - Penzer announces a ten minute time
limit as well, so WCW's gotten *two* points back from me right off the bat.
Maybe somebody's listening? The trick will be if they actually have a
fall in this match...or if they're just conveniently setting up a draw. I
think they've finally decided to stop spelling Knoble's name "Jaime," too -
boy this company has it *together*. Knoble and Yang start - WHEN FORMER
JUNG DRAGONS COLLIDE! Lockup, side headlock by Knoble, powered out,
shoulderblock by Knoble, off the ropes up and over, leapfrog by Yang,
Knoble blocks, right, into the roeps, Yang over the back, go behind by
Knoble, to the ropes, Yang holds on and Knoble rolls off - running at him,
dumped on the apron - shoulder to the gut, reverse neckbreaker across the
top rope puts Knoble out on the floor. Will he go for the dive? Well, the
camera isn't gonna show us... Nope, Moore is in, but Yang snaps off a
headscissors to take him outside. SuperBrawl Revenge is 20 days away -
Skipper in, spin kick - into the ropes, reversed, Skipper decides to
slinghost over the top rope into a corkscrew pescado - Moore in - body
scissors by Yang off the ropes, Moore reverses to a small package...for 2!
Yang pounds him - going for a powerbomb but Moore reverses to a Rocker
Dropper - Knoble makes the save at 2. Moore put in the corner, up and over
- no, piledriver reversal, Knoble up and over and hitting a German suplex -
1, 2, Skipper breaks up the bridge, right hand for Knoble, Knoble reverses,
Skipper ducks the right, Knoble slips out of the suplex attempt - on
Skipper's shoulders, hopping off but Skipper still has a hold on him - full
nelson - dragon suplex!! Yang breaks at 2. Big lariat for Skipper by
Yang. All four men still in the ring. Moore crotches Yang on the post,
Skipper mauls him from behind, into the corner, Knoble has Skipper and hits
a gourdbuster. All four men in line now - Moore runs at Skipper on all
fours...and fails to spring off of him, blowing the spot. Yang forearms
him down and tosses him. That'll show him! Let the trainwreck commence -
Yan with a tope from the third rope to the floor. Skipper gets upended by
Knoble over the top rope into the pile on the floor. The satellite blinks
out here but Hudson calls a senton by Knoble...the crowd's chant seems to
indicate otherwise. Yang hits a springboard Asai moonsault on Knoble.
Back in the ring, Moore slams Skipper and goes up top...Yang back in to pop
Moore one and prevent whatever it was. Yang steps in front of Moore,
crosses his arms and throws him off the top rope over his shoulders and
onto Skipper - covers BOTH of them - 1, 2, Knoble pulls out Yang (Tucker
should have stll counted 3 with Moore pinning Skipper's shoulders) Knoble
with a tombstone on Yang on the floor! Moore sat on the top rope...Skipper
ready to walk the top rope (why?)...but Knoble shoves him to the floor.
Moore hooks Knoble and signals for the tornado DDT, but Knoble completes
the spin, landing Moore on the top turnbuckle. Knoble climbs aside him -
Moore with shots to prevent him doing whatever he wants to do - is Moore
going to hit the Rocker Dropper from the very top? I think so. 1, 2, 3.
(4:58) Commentators can't decide between "Showstopper" or "Bottoms Up" so
I'll keep calling it the Rocker Dropper, I guess. At this point, I'm
supposed to say something about "psychology" or "transitions" but instead
I'll say "at least Scott Steiner didn't come out to ruin it - baby steps."
Those of you who would think of writing me to complain that I didn't give
this match a glowing description of unearthly goodness while simultaneously
going ga-ga for Rikishi and Haku teaming up are probably wasting your time.
Will you remember ANYTHING about this match in a year? In THREE months?
"Dark City" is NEXT!
THE CEO, clipboard in hand and ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL at his side, hits the
ring. "Woo! Y'all better stand to attention, 'cause if all I had to cheer
for was the Baltimore Ravens and Ray Lewis, I'd rather throw up! Woooo!
You gotta be the luckiest franchise in the history of the NFL. You know
the saying, you got the money honey, I got the time, well if I had the
time, I'd buy this one horse team just to throw 'em outta this league -
wooo! Now, let's talk about WCW - mah - mah - mah - wooo! - WCW - and you,
baby, you LIKE it, don't you honey. Let's talk about the Cat, number one.
Cat, I know you're watching this show, you have become a detriment - I
tried to help you Cat, I tried to show you the way of life a champion lives
- you went south. Therefore, Cat..." ["You suck!" Quick, turn that crowd
mic down!] "Therefore, Cat, there's gonna be a list of opponents a mile
long. I'm gonna guarantee YOU that that commissionership is gonna change
hands in a real short period of time. Wooo! Now, I got some bad news for
ya - you know last Monday night, Big Sexy got lucky - he beat Buff. Then,
then come to find out - Wednesday at Thunder, Diamond Dallas Page, Big
Sexy, they show up at the building half in the bag. That means they
were celebrating that big victory so hard that they came to - NOBODY works
for Ric Flair and takes a drink on the job! Once again, this is MY WCW.
And if you wanna work here, you gotta show and be ready to go, just like
your old lady's gonna have to do that, pal, all night long. So, I didn't
wanna believe it, but let's take a look at the tape that'll show you what
I'm talking about - Nash and Page laying down on the job. (Let Us Take You
Back to Thunder - Nash and Page are laid out, actually) There. What is
this? And they wanna work for me? For WCW? I gotta have boys - wooo! -
that can get up and go! Here's the way it goes...Scott Steiner is our
world champion and I'm gonna make sure he's got a worthy opponent, so
here's the deal - Nash, you got one more opportunity to qualify for the
main event at SuperBrawl - I got - wooo! - Big Poppa Pump. All you gotta
do is beat Totally Buff - that's Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell, tonight, in a
handicap match, in the main event. That's right, Big Sexy! All by
yourself, handicap, against Totally Buff - Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell.
That's all you gotta do. Any outside interference and the match is called
off. (Nash watches a monitor backstage) Now - big surprise - the Nature
Boy - wooo! - big surprise - here's the deal...here's the deal. I've got a
contract because (Nash breaks the monitor - did he miss his cue?) I have
brought to WCW another huge player. One of the big names, and I got him
here tonight, and all he has to do tonight, later on is sign this contract
- wooo! And he's part of MY WCW. Woooo! You, boy, your momma's gonna be
goin' 'Woooo! Stop Nature Boy stop!' Woo!"
SuperBrawl Revenge ad
This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by Burger King - got the
urge? (The urge to what?)
Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON - another look at Nash & Page
laid out in the locker room...but this time they show that it was Team
Flair beating them up before the shot Flair showed. Tonight, Nash takes on
Totally Buff for the right to compete in the main event.
Backstage, Jeff Jarrett tells Ric Flair that he forgot to announce his
match with Page tonight. Flair says he should wait until SuperBrawl.
Jarrett says he's doing it tonight whether he wants to or not. "Don't mess
up the game plan, Jeff!"
Meanwhile, a tech guy bumps into Midajah - giving Scott Steiner provocation
to break his leg. That guy should SUE him! "Say hello to Sid for me!"
Then Midajah spits on him. Well, at least he can swap spit with her...
CAT (with Mz. Jonez and Let Us Take You Back to Several Matches of the
Cat's Of Late) v. ? - Cat dances in the ring, then asks for the music to be
cut. Addressing the "old man," Cat tells Ric Flair that he can send all
his chumps, but there's nobody back there who can keep him down. He may
call his momma, too. Cat says anybody accompanying his opponent gets
suspended for thirty days, so out walks SHAWN STASIAK with MARK JINDRAK in
tow. Commentators are back to talking over Penzer...hey, that lasted long.
Stasiak has three things to say to Cat - He doesn't need help whipping him,
when he's done whipping him, his first act as commissioner is to book a tag
team title match at SuperBrawl with them against Palumbo & O'Haire, and
third...."never mind," and he shoves him one. "Whatcha gonna do now, man?"
Nothing - his woman is gonna kick him instead. Cat with a kick for
Jindrak, right, whipped into Stasiak and both men go over the top to the
floor. Jindrak argues with referee Scott "Born to Do It" James while we
look backstage, where Palumbo & O'Haire can't believe what he said. Back
to the ring, where Stasiak and Cat are in - kick by Stasiak, into the
ropes, kick by Cat, 2 count. Into the corner, dancing, running
clothesline. Boss Man straddle with rodeo imitation - but runs into a
jumping back elbow from Stasiak for 2. Stomp, stomp, head to the buckle,
right, right, right, into the opposite corner, sidewalk slam, 1, 2, Cat
kicks out. Through the ropes to the outside - Stasiak follows. Cat's head
hits the table - Cat steals a water and smites Stasiak with it. No effect
- Stasiak scoops him up and puts his back in the ringpost. Rolled back
in...Stasiak follows...scoop...and a slam. Stasiak on the second
rope....but he eats a foot on the way down. Schoolboy...2. Stasiak
clotheslines him down to turn it around again. Right, right, right, in the
corner, right, into the ropes, tilt-a-whirl countered with a head scissors
takeover (sorta) for 2! Stasiak with a right, right, into the ropes is
reversed, head down, sunset flip attempt - that NEVER works - jiggy jig jig
fist, breakin' elbowdrop, kick, Stasiak into the ropes, Cat trying the
Feliner coming out but Stasiak has it scouted and drops it - big forearm to
the mush by Stasisk. Cat with a karate thrust, Stasiak with a right, Cat
with a right, thrust, right, right, into the corner is reversed, Samoan
Drop by Stasiak (whoa!) and now he's going up top again - why not, didn't
work LAST time...senton finds an empty pool. Cat up - Feliner - 1, 2, 3.
(5:03) Wow, longer than the cruiserweight match, huh? Flair reacts
unhappily backstage as Animal looks on.
COMING UP: Totally Buff takes on Kevin Nash! Lookit these clips of these
Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, Geico, Geico, Hot Pockets
by Hot Pockets, and Randstad (that like Amistad?)
GO AWAY RUFUS
When we come back (also known as "after a very long nap"), we see Wall
sitting outside Chavo's dressing room. Hearing some sinster laughter, Wall
perks up... but misses the oncoming case shoved by Hugh Morrus. You should
have seen it coming - he should have known it was coming - hoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo hoo! Morrus has got his Frank Gorshin DOWN, man! Morrus throws
Wall THROUGH the door and takes off. Chavo checks on what just
happened...but Morrus has already disappeared.
Meanwhile, Mike Sanders catches up to Crowbar and delivers the bad news -
even with opportunity after opportunity, he's failed to impress the
higher-ups. Fortunately for him, he's still got some stroke, so he pulled
some strings and booked him in a match tonight. "So what's the big
surprise - who's it tonight, Mike Sanders?" Sanders produces a Canadian
flag. "Storm warning ahead for you, nutcase." Crowbar takes the flag,
breaks the stick, and hands it back to Sanders.
Earlier Tonight, DDP had a very special book signing. He got about as many
people as "Positively" Kanyon..well, maybe a few more. Anyway, as we
watched the line form, a fracas ensued when an overexuberant fan tried to
get ahead by cutting. Before it came to blows, Page got up from his seat
to find out what was up. One of the guys went DOWN at the slightest touch
from Page. "He hit me!" Page called over Doug Dillinja and they took the
two guys away. More mind tricks for Page?
Meanwhile, a black Hummer pulls up...aw geez...a *Hummer*?
Promotional consideration paid for by America (ha!) Online, "Dinosaur" on
video & DVD, Buckley's Cough Mixture, HangTuff locks, and Randstad (who?)
When we come back, Chavo has found Totally Buff and complains about Hugh
taking out the Wall. They tell him not to worry; they've found him another
tag team partner. "Trust us!"
Meanwhile, GENE O. works tonight! Jeff Jarrett says that despite Flair's
edict, he wants Page tonight - he'll be in the ring, and if Page is a man,
he'll meet him. So choke on that...
RAYMOND STEREO & KIDMAN (with Tygryss & Let Us Take You Back to Thunder &
Filthy Animals jerseys available on wcwgear.com) v. CHAVO GUERRERO JNR & ?
- Really, did you *want* the Wall in this match? Hell no! I predict Lash
LeRoux because it makes no sense. Oh, hell, what was *I* thinking...it's
ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL, who comes out to Vince Russo's music (just kidding -
it's different). Given the choice between Wall and Animal...hmm, that's a
toughie. I *guess* it's an improvement. Anyway, Chavo's happy about the
development. Hey, remember that cruiserweight opener?
Psssssssssssssssssssssss..... Chavo says he'll be happy to start with
Kidman. Chavo says he wants Mysterio...but what he *really* wants is for
Kidman to look his partner's way so he can punk him out. Gutshot, into the
ropes, Kidman slides under, ducks the clothesline, head scissors off the
rope - dropkick! Mysterio with a free shot while we look at Animal (great
camerawork, he said sarcastically) - Kidman knocks him down and makes the
tag. Into the ropes, double gutshot, double sitout uranage. Mysterio on
the apron - springboard guillotine (!) gets 2. Chavo comes back with a
right, sternum first into the corner, Euro uppercut, into the opposite
corner is reversed, Chavo up and over onto the shoulders...Mysterio pulls
him out and lets him drop facefirst. Tag to Kidman - whipped into a
baseball slide into the nuts. Mysterio with the broncobuster to add insult
to injury. Referee "Blind" Mark Johnson puts Mysterio out as Kidman pulls
Chavo out - into the corner again, but the boot is up. Gutshot, chop,
European uppercut, into the opposite corner is reversed by Kidman, off the
rope with the clothesline. Tag to Mysterio - over the ropes, doesn't land
clean on the second rope, but recovers quickly to his the moonsault (well,
hit the legs, anyway) for 2. Whip is reversed, Mysterio does the spin in
the ropes, ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning heel kick. Chavo crawls
to his corner quickly and tags. Mysterio runs at Animal...and falls as if
hitting a brick wall. Into the ropes, Mysterio ducks, springboard, caught,
thrown down. Clothesline for Kidman. Into the ropes, big boot for Kidman.
Guerilla press slam for Kidman. Mysterio up...gutshot for Kidman, Mysterio
slides down but Animal has him by the neck, pulling him back up between his
legs...scooped up - Kidman with a dropkick to the pile, taking him down!
Animal pops right back up. Double dropkick to the knees takes him down.
Double stompin' - double dropkick to the head. Kidman off the top...into a
powerslam. Mysterio tries a 'rana...and gets stuck. Animal has HIM
caught...and there's a sitout powerbomb. Tag to Chavo, who is
strutting...and maybe rightfully so. 1, 2, 3. (3:27)
Ric Flair is WALKING! And talking to the cameraman...
Meanwhile, the door of the Hummer is opening...
TONIGHT: Here's a clip from Earlier Tonight, setting up the Main Event!
When we come back, the music hits and THE CEO is out once again. A check
of the clock reveals it's 55:30 into the show, so this will be what they
try to hook us with. Flair still carries the clipboard with the contract
on it. Schaivone asks us to please stay tuned, 'cause in just a few
minutes, we'll find out who's in the Hummer. What, about four minutes?
Hmmm. Won't be much of a surprise unless it's *Savio Vega*. "As I told
you at the top of the show, this is MY WCW, and I'm gonna make it the #1
wrestling organisation in the world today (Tony: "Boy this is gonna be big"
- yeah, keep selling it, big man) - one of the ways you do that is to keep
bringing in big name talent - main - stream personalities, so as promised,
tonight, the newest player to join Ric Flair's WCW is none other than the
legendary DUSTIN RHODES." Well. There he is, at any rate. "How - good is
this? I promise you one of the best - one of the best is here to sign up.
Big Dust, I told you that if you would come to Baltimore tonight, I would
make you a rich man. This is the *new* WCW - this is Ric Flair's WCW - I
told you I had enough money in here to make you a rich man the rest of your
life - all you gotta do, buddy, is sign that contract and show the
wrestling world that you're on my team - that you're ready to be a main
line player." "Well let me look at it for a minute, 'cause that jet you
sent for me, that was real nice." "Hey! Hey! Hudson! Hudson! Gimme a
pen." "Now don't get me wrong - the jet, the limo, all that stuff, that
was nice, but this...can you turn around for me just one time - do you
mind? Just do one of those Slick Ric spins - please." He complies. "You
didn't think I'd forgotten how to do that, didya pal? You're part of the
team, brother! You're gonna be wearin' Armani, alligator shoes, drivin' a
Corvette, a Ferrari, whatever you want--" "What's wrong with these cowboy
boots?" "There's nothing wrong - I like cowboy boots." "You know why I
made you spin around like that? I'm just sizing you up, 'cause I'm
wondering if this is gonna fit where it belongs. Absolutely not. Not
today, and not ever...take that and shove it because you SUCK." "You don't
really think you grew up enough in the last couple years to tell Ric Flair
he sucks, do you pal?" "Like pops...before, he did it, I'll do it too.
You get too close to me and stick your big nose in my face I'll smack it
right off." "I'm gonna count to five and forget I invited you out here, or
brother, you put a hand on me and you'll be a dead man in Baltimore
tonight." "Is that so." Rhodes grabs the lapels. "Oh man, whoa no oh no,
I kn-- d- don't do this - don't - don't do this - don't do it - Dustin,
let's talk - let's talk man, calm down, calm down." "What's wrong? Spit
it out." "I can - I can make the bad -" "I'll take your head off right now
- get down on your knees right now" "no no no - no no no" "like you did for
my dad so many years ago!" "no - no no no" "Get down, come on! Huh!" "no
no no - no no no no...there's somebody backstage gonna come out here right
now and make you wish you'd never done that." The music hits and ROAD
WARRIOR ANIMAL comes out. "Now..." They get to scrappin' - Flair up from
behind, Rhodes gets in some short on HIS head, but Flair hits the uppernut
- this doesn't seem to affect Rhodes but Animal gets him down anyway. Now
in the corner - Animal kicking, Flair chopping - Rhodes fires back with
rights, double noggin knocker, right for Animal, kick, kick, Flair hooks
him from behind and holds him for a big kick. Flair makes sure Dustin sees
him kick him in the nuts this time (or he does it for real) - *this* time
Rhodes sells it. They stomp away on him for a while longer as the
commentators tell us there's nobody to save him...but the music hits - oh
lord, it's ECW's DUSTY RHODES come back to kill us all. Rhodes gets funkeh
like a monkeh on Flair (and the TV-14-DL ratings box), who dutifully sells
away on everything for him - Animal takes his turn as well. This must be
an ECW crowd, 'cause they're all chanting "Dusty" instead of counting along
with Dustin's Ten Punch Count Along - so Flair shoves him off at seven, and
staggers into...you guessed it...a bionic elbow. Dustin: "Come on, want
some more? Let's go." "What are you doing out here tonight, dammit?"
Flair tosses the microphone at Dusty - it messes. Flair messes up BILL
APTER taking pix at ringside (none of which will make it to WrestleLine -
thanks, Bill!) Oh boy, Dusty's gonna stand in council! "This
ain't...about me. (Sure.) For eight or nine months, you've been grabbin'
all your friends and your bosom buddies - you been holding back other
athletes. I been settin - whatchoo gonna do, fire me, hell I don't even
work here! Hey hey hey don't, don't go out, don't go out, don't go out.
Most of all, you been sidesteppin' Dustin Rhodes, MOST OF ALL you been
coming out here wishin' that you gonna be in charge - lemme tell you
something, this people's butts that you been kissin', there's new owners,
they ain't gonna be here no more, you know what I'm talkin' about? They
ain't gonna be here! And lemme tell you something else, Nature Boy, when
you talk about this building - when you talk about this ring, you're
talkin' 'bout hollowed (hallowed?) ground. You're talkin' 'bout ground
that I kicked your ass night after night after night after night. You
talkin' about a new era - you're talkin' about young studs! You talkin'
about dealing with the dealer, and lemme tell you why - lemme tell you and
you listen to this, and tell your family this - from now on, from now on,
hell's coming, and I'm coming with him, brother - you know what I'm talking
about? Hey hey, whoa, lemme tell you, last but not least, Animal....all
puffy...Animal's all puffed up. Animal's got all that ol' puffed up muscle
- well, you come back in here, you gonna find out that this ol' fat boy
from Austin, Texas will kick a little bit of YOUR booty, too - so you wanna
fight? Hey, you guys wanna fight - well, you got one comin' and it's
comin' tonight." They hit the ring...and promptly go down again. Quickly
we cut away to
TONIGHT: Clips of Totally Buff and Nash by way of reminding us of our main
Can Nikita Koloff be far behind? I mean, with no Goldberg, it seems like
it'd be the perfect time to bring him back...
The 1-800-COL-LECT replay is of Dustin no-selling about five
uppernuts...and Flair failing to no-sell a really old, fat elbow.
LANCE STORM (with Team Canada - except Oulette and Rougeau) v. CROWBAR (no
relation - with Daffney) - "If I can be serious for a minute...it's a new
day in WCW...thanks to the boss, Ric Flair. I am out here to tell Ric
Flair that he has the full support of Team Canada - and for the rest o' ya,
I'm gonna put on a Canadian wrestling clinic, like only I can. Because I'm
from Calgary....Alberta, Canada - I was born to wrestle, and bred to win.
All rise for the playing of the Canadian national anthem!" Anthem gets
(:15) before Crowbar comes in without music to punk out Storm from behind -
NO respect! Awesome and Skipper pounce on Crowbar...then hold him for a
Storm superkick. I guess this is the ONLY time I can be glad we're still
not calling him Devon Storm. Into the ropes, nice dropkick - 1, 2, no.
Looks like referee "Blind" Billy Silverman just sent Awesome & Skipper to
the back. 20 days until SuperBrawl, you know. Storm rubbing Crowbar's
face into the mat. Into the corner, out to the opposite corner, (silly
string away!) running clothesline, chop, chop, choke, chop. Crowbar
reverses it - chop, chop, chop, right, into the opposite corner, reversal,
boot up by Crowbar and it hits Storm in the face. Storm to the second rope
- overhead head scissors (wow!) - clothesline, clothesline, chops his down.
Crowbar in command...until the jawbreaker by Storm. Going for a powerbomb,
but Crowbar lands on his feet. Chop by Crowbar. Whip is reversed into a
knee, Storm snapmares him over, and drops the leg on the head.
Backbreaker across the knee - 1, 2, no. Storm to the headlock.
Let's watch Major Gunns - hmm, yes. Crowbar back to his feet - elbow,
elbow, kick by Storm, standing on the neck for 4. Daffney tries to lead a
chant - I don't hear anybody else, but who could with her voice? Head to
the buckle - down goes Crowbar again. Storm with a running leg lariat.
Cover - 2. Stomp on the head - another - Storm goes for the head one more
time. Crowbar tries a right, right, right, right, back on his feet - Storm
forearms him down - choke on the second rope for 4. Pulling him back up by
the hair - into the ropes, Crowbar flips out of a piledriver attempt into a
gutwrench, spinning Storm up - leaning backward, landing on HIS feet -
trying to muscle over Crowbar - he did, but *Crowbar* goes over and lands
on his feet - and drops him with a Slop Drop. Isn't that his move (the
Mindbender)? Both men slow to move - Crowbar tries a cover...and gets 2.
Both men back up - Crowbar with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," again,
chop, chop, into the ropes, jumping back elbow, 1, 2, no. Crowbar with a
headbutt! Into the ropes, reversed, Crowbar ducks and holds on - got him
up - and down with a death suplex. Crowbar outside - slingshot back in for
a crossbody. Quebrada - 1, 2, NO! Storm heads outside - Crowbar doesn't
let that stop him, dropkicking him through the ropes. On the apron - LEAP
OF FAITH! Rolled back in - that took a lot out of Crowbar as well. Storm
manages a right through the ropes, and another. Head to the buckle -
trying to bring him back in the hard way but Crowbar lands on his feet -
standing switch, Storm manages a German suplex - 1, 2, shoulder up -
holding on for a second one, rolling for a third, but Crowbar reverses to a
forward roll for a 2 of his own. Crowbar with a Nothern Lights suplex - 1,
2, NO! Storm sat on top - standing kick, kick, axe handle to the chest -
Crowbar up on top - going for a top-rope huracanrana...but Storm hooks the
right leg and rides it to the mat - that's the Canadian Maple Leaf!
Crowbar has to tap. GREAT match. (6:53) Why is Storm's right eye closed?
TONIGHT: More clips of the three men involved in our main event
See WCW live while you still can! Friday, tix on sale for Lake Charles!
Next Monday Tupelo hosts Nitro! And SuperBrawl Revenge tickets in
Nashville are "going fast!"
Close captioning where available manually typed in by George Foreman for
Flair and Totally Buff congratulate Lance Storm, and ask him to wrestle the
Cat at SuperBrawl. Storm takes the handshake. Jeff Jarrett walks by -
*daring* him to top him - he's taking out Page TONIGHT.
Courtesy: Spelling Television, Inc. Here's some clips of Bagwell & Steiner
on "Charmed." Q: Why no clips of Booker T? A: Racism
JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET is out. Let Us Take You Back to Last Week to
show you what Jarrett's been doing. "Listen up all you Baltimore slapnuts.
I'm out here for one reason and one reason only - and that's you, DDP,
'cause I want you in this ring right here, right now. I could care less
what Ric Flair - the big top boss has to say, 'cause I'm not waiting for
SuperBrawl - we're doing this right now. Page, if you're listening, come
out here. PROVE ME WRONG, slapnuts." Did he just say....oh my. The
crappy, crappy opening hits and out comes DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE, who comes
out through the crowd, 'cause he's a suckup. But he's met by a phalanx of
COPS & DOUG DILLINJA. "Do your job right now - arrest him for assault!
You know what you did - you know *exactly* what you did, DDP. Arrest him!
Assault and battery - arrest him! Tell him, tell him, tell these guys just
what you told me." Jarrett's made his way out to the front row to find the
kid from earlier in the show.
imhitmeagain." Wow, what a bad actor. (I think that's the idea.) You
think? "Now don't worry, I got your back. Arrest him, officers, get him
outta here. Get that trailer park trash outta here - get him outta here.
Hey DDP! I guess tonight we're gonna find out what kind of a - of a REAL
man you are - tell Bubba I said hello. Ring the bell, ref - count to ten,
award me the match. Referee "Blind" Scott James dutifully complies. Well,
looks like Jarrett just got a victory over DDP before the PPV. FINALLY a
match where he doesn't swing the guitar! (COR 0:17)
WCW Magazine ad - in case I didn't notice it last week, I'll note that the
picture of Goldberg wearing the WCW Magazine T-shirt has been replaced with
the old one of Miss Hancock - no, sorry, that's DDP
Moments Ago, During the Break, Ric Flair sucked up to the cops as
they led Page into the back of the car. Flair also proclaims Double J a
mastermind. Tony goes ahead and says "swerve" for our benefit.
FRANCHISE (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. RICK WOOF WOOF - "Cut
the music! Baltimore, Maryland - I've said it a million times, I'll say it
again tonight - as last night's Super Bowl proved, every so often the sun
shines on a dog's rear end, too. I ain't here to talk about that
second-rate lucky football team of yours, I'm here to talk to you, Cat.
Now it seems you don't have the spauldings to take care of me yourself...so
you've signed for the Dog Faced Gremlin, Rick Steiner, to do your dirty
work for you. Well I can pull some strings too, Cat. I went above your
head to the CEO, the Nature Boy Ric Flair. He's made this a nontitle match
- you see, he figured Ric Steiner hasn't done a stinkin' thing to deserve a
title shot for my prestigious US belt. Sorry, Dog Face - tonight ain't a
title match - just think of it as a clinic in how to get yourself
Franchised, hahaha." Notice that Franchise can't say "ass" but Dusty
Rhodes can? Wow, I thought Steiner wrestling was exclusive to Thunder,
just like the Harrisses and Smiley. Franchise rolls out just in time for
another Filthy Animals jersey wcwgear.com graphic. Back in the ring with
Franchise - kick, forearm, forearm, forearm, into the ropes, hiptoss
takeover...Steiner responds with a spear and blows to the head. One more
right ot the head. Rick manages to trip THREE times on his way back to his
feet - knees to the head, kick, Franchise rolls out, Steiner follows. Into
the safety rail. Boot to the face, right, back in as referee "Blind"
Mickie J. hits 5. Franchise begs off - Steiner grabs him and throws a
right. Scooped up on the shoulder - rammed jimmy first into the top
turnbuckle. Steiner up for the bulldog - Franchise shoves J. in front -
Steiner leaps over him, but gets caught by Franchise with an atomic drop.
Standing dropkick. Stomp, stomp, kick, running rolling neck snap. Set up
for the Indian deathlock and bridging back - not much effect, so he breaks
it. Into the ropes, Steiner ducks a clothesline, catches the leapfrog and
turns it into a powerslam. Steiner back in control - right, right,
belly-to-belly, hey no fair, that's Franchise's move! Into the ropes, hmm
no idea - we'll call it a miscommunication collision. Steiner hits another
belly-to-belly suplex (how insulting!) for 2. Franchise back up with a
kick, right, right, right, Steiner catches the kick, ducks the enzuigiri
and goes for...the knee in the ass? No, apparently this is some kind of
wacky submission move ONLY Rick Steiner can do - Douglas decides to spare
him trying to figure it out and grabs the rope. Hudson offers an STF -
maybe he meant "Steiner's Truly Fucked for attempting to put on this move."
Franchise rolls out, Steiner follows, but takes an eyepoke. Into the
safety rail. Steiner rolled back in. Don't forget Nash takes on Totally
Buff! Feet on the ropes - Steiner kicks out at 2 anyway. Calling for the
Pittsburgh Plunge - more of a fishermanplex than a fishermanbuster, though,
so it shouldn't be THAT surprising when Steiner kicks out at 2. Steiner
put in the corner - big boot as he comes out. Franchise has the
chain...but there's a Steinerline before he can use it. Top rope bulldog
and it's over. 1, 2, NO!!!!!!! Whoa, sorry Franchise - never meant to
doubt you. Steiner got him on his shoulders - Spicolli Driver! 1, 2, 3!
(5:39) Schiavone suggests renaming the Death Valley Driver the "Steiner
Driver." Why, did a Steiner die? Tony: "A new move by Rick Steiner, he
wins!" I'm sure Tony must have meant "a new move FOR Rick Steiner" because
that other thing sounds INCREDIBLY patronising to wrestling fans who have
definitely seen the move before. "Flair...one down. Two things - you want
some, come get some! You don't like me -" and he lets the crowd finish it.
I'd say "way to make the US Champion look strong" but they *at least* let
him kick out of the top-rope bulldog...so we'll call it a wash instead.
TOTALLY BUFF (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. AD BREAK -
Coming out to Luger's music and dressed as Tony Banks (aka Trent Dilfer,
according to Hudson) & Ray Lewis and carrying Ravens pennants, one gets the
impression they're not terribly sincere about all the rah-rah. Bagwell:
"Let's hear it for the world champ Baltimore Ravens! Yes! Yes! Baltimore
Ravens, let's hear it one more time, yeah!" Who does WCW get to represent
the team at the event? BENNIE THOMPSON, special teams coach. WOW! "You
goin' to the parade tomorrow?" "Big parade, I can't wait - who's going to
the parade?" "Well Buff, I hate to rain on your parade, but...you wanted
to do this, I know you got real excited about the Ravens' big win and
everything yesterday, but...really they're not Baltimore's team, they're
actually Cleveland's team." "What are you saying?" "Baltimore is a city
of total, absolute losers - their team left - they're in Indianapolis now -
they haven't won a Super Bowl in thirty years." "THIRTY YEARS?" "They
stole the team from Cleveland in the middle of the night - I hate to break
that to ya." "What got 'em here? What got 'em here? What got 'em here -
tell 'em!" "If it wasn't for Ray Lewis, the man who wears this jesery, who
one year ago was dressed in an orange jumpsuit...they have the worst
offense in the league, they stole it from Cleveland, so basically, they
absolutely suck so let's get rid of these. They get to ripping while
Thompson...stands. "Now down to business - what the hell are you looking
at? Get in here, big boy - I'll knock your teeth down your damn throat.
Come on in here, big man!" Thompson hops the rail...and lets the security
guy hold him back. "He doesn't want any of you, Buff. Let's get down to
business! Now when Big Sexy took on the challenge tonight, do you realise
that Totally Buffed eliminated the biggest monster professional wrestling
has ever seen in Bill Goldberg? He's gone! Bill Goldberg - he's fired!"
"FIRED!" "Fired!" "FIRED!" "He's gone!" "FIRED!" (Settle down, Beavis.)
"So, Nash, what makes you think you have a chance against the Package and
Buff? The bottom line is...oh we miss Goldberg too - Gold-berg."
"GOLD-Stupid-Goldberg!" "So Nash, bring your big, tall, skinny butt down
here, because I'm the Total Package..." "...and I'm Buff." "And that's why
we're called Totally..." "...Buffed." And they share a laugh. What a
waste of a segment.
HOOOOO! Kevin Nash is WALKING!
SuperBrawl Revenge ad
Let Us Take You Back to Last Week and show you how Kevin Nash won his way
to the SuperBrawl main event...LAST week.
TOTALLY BUFFED v. KEVIN NASH in Nash's Qualifier for the SuperBrawl main
event (again) - Nash pulls Bagwell outside and puts him in the post. Luger
is trying to pose but Nash is in - "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine,"
right, right, right, knee, Bagwell from beind with a shot - doubleteam in
the corner. 20 Days Away, it is. They pose...then turn back around to
take a double clothesline. Right hand for Bagwell, right for Luger, Luger
tossed, right for Bagwell - choke...Luger back in with a big uppernut.
Bagwell with a swinging neckbreaker. Luger drops a big elbow, Bagwell
chokes - referee "Blind" Charles Robinson gets a shove after getting vocal
about enforcing the count. Luger with a big death suplex. Motioning for
the Rack while Bagwell throttles him. Bagwell ready to help him onto
Luger's shoulders...but Nash elbows Bagwell, right for Luger, right for
Bagwell, right for Luger, sidewalk slam for Bagwell, sidewalk slam for
Luger, clotheslined Bagwell out, scoops up Luger for Snake Eyes. Knee to
the face, in position for the truckstop powerbomb but as he hits it,
Bagwell hits a simultaneous double underhook DDT on Robinson, taking HIM
out. Leg is hooked...nobody counting. Hey! ACHTUNG ACHTUNG HIER IST ALEX
WRIGHT has the stripes (of course, the ribs are wrapped *over* the shirt
for the benefit of our storyline undertanding) - 1, 2, ahhhh no. Nash
looks up and gets up. Wright backs off. Bagwell with a double sledge, and
now he *and* Wright work over Nash - who comes back and cleans house.
Wright into the ropes, big boot. Bagwell with a gutshot, setting up for
the DDT but Nash backdrops him. Into Luger, who hits the floor. Knee for
Bagwell, down come the straps, truckstop drop for a second time - leg is
hooked....CAT comes out in the zebra stripes - 1, 2, Wright pulls him out.
Cat blocks a right, kick, into the safety rail, back in, 1, 2, 3. (3:50)
"Hey yo. Looks to me like I'm on a little roll tonight. Might as well
finish this right. Steiner...I know you're in the back. Let's do
this...now." Umm, there's no time left in this show. The music hits
anyway...here comes WHITE THUNDER...and the credits. See ya.
AFTER THE FACT: Yeah, you've already read Rick's spoiler report - now read
mine! Courtesy Bob D. & Shannon C.: Hello CRZ,
We were at Nitro and Thunder tapings in Baltimore last night, and we just
wanted to drop you a line. Before we get started, we enjoy your recaps and
keep up the excellent work - your recaps are required reading Tuesday
afternoon at the office.
Anyway, attendance for Nitro was about 6,000-7,000. Between the segments,
DJ Ran and the Nitro Girls actually kept the crowd much more alive than
during the wrestling segments. Biggest pops of the night went to Dusty
Rhodes and "Big Lazy err... Sexy" Kevin Nash. Most heat went to Jeff
Jarrett and anyone who badmouthed the Baltimore Ravens. After Nitro, the
crowd seemed very happy. Oh but this is WCW. Onto the Thunder spoilers:
Opening match: Shane Helms vs. Billy Kidman (w/
Tygress is wearing a tight pink pants and a matching jacket much to our
discontent, as her outfit on Nitro was quite tasty. The match dragged on
quite a bit, and the crowd was getting restless. Good work by both men, but
the crowd didn't seem to care. Shane pinned Kidman after finishing with the
Sugar Smack or whatever they call it.
Interview: Scott Steiner w/ Midajah
I went to the bathroom here, and when I came back, Kronik came out to
challenge Steiner. Luger and Bagwell attack them from behind as they're
making their way down to the ring. Rick Steiner appears on the stage and
before he can help out Kronik, Jeff Jarrett hits him from behind with a
Backstage: Steiner, Luger, Buff, Jarrett and Flair are all celebrating
beating up Kronik and somehow Jarrett makes a reference that he'll be
wrestling Rick Steiner later.
Ron Harris (w/ brother Don) vs. Lash Leroux
Referee takes a marker and writes an X on Ron's hand to distinguish them. Of
course, the match ends when the other Harris writes an X on his own hand,
and they they switch places. The other Harris brother hits Leroux with a
spinebuster for the pin. Very little fan interest also, and this match was a
few minutes too long also.
Interview: Palumbo and O'haire. Blah blah blah, my interest was waning
severly at this point.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Norman Smiley
Smiley spends most of the match looking around for Glacier. The match ends
with BBB hitting the Greetings from Asbury Park. Glacier comes down after
Norman is pinned and greets the fans and poses in the ring a while.
Thankfully, no one is taking Glacier seriously so this was actually a funny
Jeff Jarrett vs. Rick Steiner
Match ends when the ref goes down and Shane Douglas comes out with a chain
on his fist. He misses hitting Rick Steiner and hits Jarrett instead.
Steiner hits Douglas and gets the pin on Jarrett.
Kwee Wee vs. some jobber
Penzer never even announces the jobber, so the crowd chants at him "Y2J". I
think he looks like Test, but anyways, Kwee Wee does his whole spiel on how
we wants respect and wants to be on Flair's team. Kwee Wee hits a pile
driver and gets the pin. The matches are getting shorter now, as more fans
are leaving and no one cares anymore.
Mamalukes vs. Palumbo and O'haire
At this point, the fans in front of us sarcastically mark out for Palumbo
and we join in. The arena is silent at this point, so our chants for Palumbo
should be quite audible. Look for a large 3-board Palumbo sign about five
rows up directly behind the far left ring post. Match ends with Palumbo
hitting a superkick folllowed by a Sean-ton bomb on Big Vito I think. After
the match, Stasiak and Jindrak come out and threaten Chuck and Sean, and
there's a mess in the ring afterwards. Chuck tried to get the stick from
O'haire to acknowledge his only six fans in the country, but I guess it
wasn't part of the script. Who would ever believe Chuck has fans to begin
Konnan vs. Reno
Konnan gets the crowd somewhat alive with his catchphrases in the beginning,
but the fans go back to sleep after. Konnan gets Reno with the Tequila
Sunrise for the win.
Finally, Luger and Bagwell vs. Kronik
Bagwell takes the mike and says "If I hear one boring chant, we're leaving".
We'll be sure to stay out of your way are we're leaving too, Buff. A
reasonably good match with all four men working solidly. Road Warrior Animal
comes out through the crowd and hits Clark with a nasty chairshot. Bagwell
pins Adams for the win, but I was paying attention to Clark as he was down
for quite a while. Trainers come out and help Clark out as he's bleeding
from the back of his head.
Well, Thunder was the worst piece of garbage I've ever actually paid to see.
If I left after Nitro, I'd give it a slight thumbs up, but WTF is Bischoff
thinking for Thunder. WCW needs a face back soon like Booker T, Sting, or
Goldberg. Dusty Rhodes was good for night, but he won't receive huge pops
anywhere else after the novelty dies down. Where's the Shockmaster right
now? But that's just my opinion. Hope these spoilers help.
From two faithful NWA/WCW fans--
Bob D. and Shannon C.
To sit through some of that, you'd HAVE to be faithful. Thanks for
writing, even if I *am* 24 hours late!
Christopher Robin Zimmerman