by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
I GET LETTERS:
Sam Aguayo writes: It is sad to see what WCW has done to you. It is clearly obvious that
WCW has wounded your spirit for wrestling. I've read your Nitro report from
about the point when Nitro was starting to suck until now. You don't even
care anymore. I can't blame you. If WCW has something good worth developing
they always screw it up. I was really excited about the whole New
Blood/Millionaires Club story,Sting vs. Vampiro and most recently Lance
Storm and the cruiserweights. WCW ended up screwing it all up. So I know you
get alot of hate letters because of you open criticism of WCW. And the last
few weeks it looked like wcw was really trying hard to put on good shows. I
was able to tolerate Buff and Luger's weak attempt to reek of awesomeness
and Rick Stiener's recent push. I was willing to wait for Booker T, Goldberg
and Sting to return and continue to hope for something interesting to be
done with Storm, Awesome, Kanyon and other talented wrestlers. But after the
3!3!times of a bogus mystery wrestler blowoffs that sucked I give up. Rather
than hope for good things to happen I am resolved to accept that the worst
will happen in the near future with WCW. Firstoff all the WCW fans are
saying just wait till the big guns come back. Another big Sting return that
goes nowwhere. The worst thing that could happen, which doesn't seem to
crazy is a Hogan return.
I will keep watching becuase of those guys besides Animal, DogFace Stiener,
Totally Buff, The Cat and Kevin Nash. I tried to be interested in them but
they tried even harder to bore me with their horrible matches and awful
interviews. They could at least spread out the crappy wrestlers throughout
the card rather then put them all together in the most important spot. Large
heel factions don't work. (Ie. NWO and New Blood)They take away the focus
from Stiener and Jarrett. They don't need sidekicks that suck. If there are
WCW fans who do like the current WCW then they deserve eachother. my rant
was long enough and at times incoherent but it was also
theraputic.Later.
On a completely unrelated note, Mike I. writes: Being a fan of your
work as well as Scott's, I feel so torn. Like Drew Barrymore in
"Irreconciable Differences'. Only taller and with more facial hair.
I'll let you decide which one is Shelly Long.
We start with NO logo, YES TV-14-DL ratings box, YES close captioned
logo, and....what's this, a match?
RICK WOOF WOOF (already in the ring) v. DUSTIN RHODES (already in the ring)
- Rhodes right, right, and Steiner on the mat. Flip flop and bionic elbow!
Right! Right! Head to the buckle, gutshot, Steiner back with a knee,
right, right, into the ropes is reversed, Rhodes with a lariat. Steiner
rolls out. But now THE CEO & ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL & MIKE SANDERS are out.
(No contest? About 1:00) Flair wants to know what he's doing - he's out of
here. "What about it don't you get? I am Ric Flair! This is MY WCW! You
don't work here! You're done! You're done! You're outta here!" Flair
directs SECURITY to pick him up - Rhodes is ready to meet them, but
forgetting Steiner is behind him - Rick with a forearm to the back of the
head to take him out of the ring and into the circle of security. Flair
says he'll sue him for everything he's got if he touches any of the
Security guys. Back to Texas with him, and that fat boy over there can
keep his mouth shut. "You'll never work here! You'll never work here!"
With Rhodes escorted out, Flair turns to Steiner. "Hey Champ! How are ya
Champ?" The entourage joins Steiner in the ring. "It's power! You've
seen it! It's power! I just saved his life, didn't I? What about this
don't you understand? I am the most powerful man in the world!" Crowd
boos. "WE - ME - the Magnificent seven - we run the world! And I'm dead
serious." Cue the CAT's music as he and MZ. JONEZ walk out. Cat asks
Flair if he's lost his damn mind. "I'm gon' tell you something - I
reinstated Dustin because I'm the commissioner and I can do that." Also,
he's gonna reinstate his foot in Flair's (mute). Flair halts his approach
by telling him he's booked tonight, and his opponent is on the big screen
behind him - we look back to see Lance Storm WALKING! Flair goes on to say
there's a special referee in this match for his commissionership - and
Sanders removes his shirt and tie to reveal the zebra stripes. Flair
promises Cat will be just another Joe Blow when it's all said and
done...the match will start in three minutes.
Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON - both men in all black -
probably more a coincidence than a message to the viewer. Tonight: Cat vs.
Storm for the Commissionership! (Hey, wasn't this a SuperBrawl match?)
Cat says something we can't hear on the house mic - the crowd seems to dig
it - Cat enters the ring....and we take our first ad break.
This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by Burger King!
Two weeks from tonight, WCW Pardi Gras hits Nawlins! Sponsored by
1-800-COL-LECT and America (ha!) Online, it'll be the biggest bash in town!
Backstage, Chavo asks Flair what was up with El Nino last week - they made
him look bad. Flair says Mysterio got to the REAL El Nino and pulled his
own deal last week, but he'll make sure Chavo gets him back before
SuperBrawl.
CAT (already in the ring - with Mz. Jonez) v. LANCE STORM (without Major
Gunns - she was fired) for the commissionership of WCW - no opening bell as
Sanders is too busy eating a right from the Cat - Cat all over Storm, ino
the ropes, flourished double thrust. Back kick and dancin' uppercut for
Sanders. Back and forth with Lance - jiggy jig jig yaa - breakdancin'
elbowdrop is stopped when Sanders starts waylaying on him. Double into the
ropes, Cat manages a double DDT. Double breakdancin' elbowdrop. Covering
Storm - grabbing Sanders' arm to make the count - 1, 2, Storm kicks out
(ha). Storm with a jawbreaker. Sanders holding him just long enoughu to
make sure he ducks so Storm's kick takes HIM down. Feliner for Storm - leg
is hooked - but Sanders is out. Cat counts his own three then returns to
Sanders. Looks like he's trying to remove the striped shirt...Storm with a
superkick and the half crab - Sanders immediately calls for the bell. WHAT
A MATCH!! (1:40) Cat tries to get him some post-match but he's one and
they're two, and they're *finally* on the same page. THE CEO & THE OTHER
SIX are out. "All right! All right! Hail the new commissioner! Hail the
new commissioner! Only one thing wrong, guys. Hey! Everybody look at
this - this is WCW! And guys, I would never ask you to do me a favour, I'm
so tired, worn out by the Cat, let's just go down there and make mincemeat
out of him right now." Looks like it's everybody but Scott Steiner.
Sorry. Flair instructs Rick to crossface him and put some sugar on it.
Jones, outside the ring, can't pull him to safety. "Hey guys." KEVIN NASH
is on the Nitrotron. "Hey guys! I wouldn't do that if I was you.
I wouldn't do that if I was you! Back it up." "Nash - what do you want?
You want to come out here and be a dead man too? Come on! Come on, jump
on somebody, come on!" "I don't think you're running the show here, Ric -
I don't think you got all your bases covered." Ric counts off all his men.
"Aren't you missing something?" The camera pulls back to see.....Nash has
DAVID SAMMARTINO - ERR, FLAIR. Nash says *he's* running the show tonight.
Here are his demands: first, Lance Storm takes on the Cat at SuperBrawl for
the commissionership - hmm, wasn't that already - whatever. "Nash, I'll do
whatever you want. But don't hit him again. I'm not playing this game
again - you leave my kid out of this. You've already done enough, you
touch - this is getting serious - you got the match, you got the match, you
got the match!" Nash's second demand is a match between Rick Steiner and
Dustin Rhodes - if Rhodes wins, not only is he reinstated "on the i- on the
- uh - ROSTER of WCW," but if Rhodes wins, then he (Nash) gets a shot at
Scott Steiner and *his* belt. "Steiner will kill me - leave my kid alone,
dammit!" Flair acquiesces, telling Rick he'll talk to Scott. "Nash, leave
him alone, please. Leave him alone. I'm sayin' please." "Don't even come
lookin' for me, 'cause you won't find me. I've HAD it with you guys.
You're running things on MY terms now. You wanna be bullies - you wanna
think you're running the show - I'M running the show! I'M the man! Nobody
else! If I have to take him out to prove it, then that's just what I'll
do. If I've gotta hurt him to hurt you, I'll do it. I'm gonna get my wish
tonight, and I'm gonna get Steiner. And I'm gonna get that belt - I'm
gonna make things right around here. I guarantee that." The theme from
Wolfpac plays and it's ad break time. Flair buries his head in his arms.
SuperBrawl Revenge ad
During the Break, Flair tells Sanders he's gotta go find him. Sanders
wonders aloud if he's even in the building. "My kid's neck's on the line!
Steiner's out of his mind! You've gotta find him!"
Totally Buffed catch up to Palumbo & O'Haire and butter them up. Flair has
been watching them for a very long time, and he wants them to be part of
Flair's WCW, so they can have all the gold.
Meanwhile, Sanders is calling out for Dustin Rhodes - oh, I thought he was
sent to look for *Nash* - oh well. Anyway, Sanders *does* catch up to
Rhodes and delivers the good news - no, not that the PPV is six days away
(that's the graphic's job) - he's been booked in a match with Rick Steiner,
and he's reinstated if he wins. Rhodes says the only reason Flair wants
him out there is to save his son, but he's got other plans tonight.
Deliver the message. "It'll be a cold day in hell before I get my butt out
there in that ring tonight." Rhodes threatens to clock him with his boot.
Sanders takes off. Rhodes whispers to himself (and the camera) "Oh, this
is gonna be fun - it's GOOOOD to have Kevin Nash as a buddy." I refrain
from checking my ironyometer.
TONIGHT? Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner
Promotional consideration paid for by Geico, Geico, America (ha!) Online,
Hot Pockets from Hot Pockets, Randstad (who?) and Sun Tzu's "The Art of
War" on pay-per-view
What better way to kick off WCW's Road to Spring Break-Out 2001 (and last
Nitro ever?) than with Pardi Gras at Mardi Gras! Brought to you by
1-800-COL-LECT
LASH LeROUX v. JUNG DRAGON (YUN) YANG (without Leia Meow - she's
been fired) in a Cruiserweight Qualifier - in case you haven't been
watching Thunder (and let's face it - NOBODY'S been watching Thunder - go
read E.C's report instead), it was decided that there'd be a six-man four
corners cruiserweight match at SuperBrawl, and the participants would be
decided in a series of qualifiers. So far, Shannon Moore and Kaz Hayashi
have qualified. Hudson sneaks in that we're at the Mississippi Coast
Colesium in Biloxi, MS - only took me a half hour to get that in, har har.
This show is on tape delay 12.2.1 on TNT - NOW you're up to speed, so let's
watch this match! "Look at my sideburns!" Yang tries a kick, LeRoux hangs
back. Yang tries three or four more kicks - more of a demonstration
really. Yang with...the crane? Yang throws a kick for LeRoux to catch,
then hits the enzuigiri! Running crossbody takes BOTH men out to the
floor. LeRoux tries to get in - Yang pulls him out and gets back in
himself. Is he gonna fly? Not yet. Knee meets LeRoux between the ropes,
chop, slap, chop, into the ropes, reversal, Yang grabs the ropes and pops
up - I think his legs were supposed to land on his shoulders but they blew
it. LeRoux hits a death suplex instead. Stomp. Forearm in the back.
Right, into the ropes, reversed, kick by LeRoux, right, right, right,
Bourbon Street Blues...but Yang pokes the eyes before he can land the KO
right. Yang going for his "walk up the man" backflip but ends up putting a
foot right on LeRoux's chin...and landing on his back. Yang tosses LeRoux
over the top rope to the floor. NOW he's gonna fly - running to the ropes
- stopping himself - adjusting - THERE'S the pescado and it lands! Only
two blown spots so far. Yang back up, on the apron - ASAI moonsault finds
the shoulder! Referee "Blind" Jamie Tucker decides to go outside to tell
them to get back in, instead of just counting them out. Amazingly, it's
LeRoux, the man NOT hitting the big high-risk moves, up first - right hand,
rolled under the bottom rope, back in, kick, into the corner, Yang up and
over...on the shoulder - running powerslam by LeRoux! 1, 2, no. LeRoux
almost trips getting to the outside...climbing to the top - frog splash
MISSES. Yang with a flying headscissors takeover - but both men are down.
Tucker is up to 5 - both men up - Yan with a right, LeRoux matches it,
Yang, LeRoux, LeRoux puts him in the ropes, this time Yang manages to hit
the feet on the shoulders spot and uses a flying headscissors to put LeRoux
on the outside. After a break, LeRoux is back up - shoulder into the gut -
springing over the top rope with the lariat - 1, 2, nope. Knee by LeRoux,
knee, scoops him up - Yang over the back - back elbow by LeRoux, standing
switch, gutshot by LeRoux, Northern Lights/powerslam (sorta) gets 2.
LeRoux with the stomp. Winding up the kneelift. One man's had all the
near falls so far - right cross from the Cajun. Irish whip into the corner
- Yang tried to reverse it but LeRoux didn't go with him - foot up by Yang,
LeRoux swats it away, right, right, right, right, right, knee. Is somebody
not cooperating here? LeRoux with a snap suplex. 1, 2, kickout. STILL no
near falls for Yang. If I had to guess who's calling this match, yuk yuk,
see how smarky I can be. Yang put in the corner, but he springs off the
second rope and comes down with a swinging DDT! Tucker puts on the count
once again. Both men up after 4 - LeRoux lands a dropkick. Pulling up
Yang by the hair - pumphandle - into a Rydeen bomb. LeRoux takes too long
to play to the fans - no pin attempt. Here's the Whiplash! That should be
it - 1, 2, JOHNNY ACE! LeRoux acts like a man who just had somebody kick
out of his finisher. Right, right, right, right, Yang tries an inside
cradle and gets his first near fall of this match eight minutes in. LeRoux
with a back elbow to cut that out. Knee to the face, knee, knee. What's
LeRoux got left? ("The Steiner Driver!") Ahh, shut up. Going for a
suplex, but Yang goes behind - LeRoux with a back elbow and a classic
jawbreaker to put Yang down. Wonder if the time limit will kick in -
LeRoux with a chop, chop, into the opposite corner - Yang springs from the
second rope to the top rope, off with a moonsault, and BOTH boots smack
LeRoux in the face on the way down - 1, 2, NO! LeRoux put in the corner-
boot up to meet Yang. Running at him, but Yang catches him in a fireman's
carry - wow, Fit Finlay's forward roll slam! Yang to the top...CORKSCREW
MOONSAULT! And *again* it looked like he managed to get his knee right in
his face. 1, 2, 3!! Yang wins. (9:24) I think LeRoux got *three*
concussions during this match. Replay shows it isn't as bad as I just said
it was. Well, all right.
Flair's on the phone with...somebody. Sanders appears - Flair asks him to
tell him some good news. Sanders is reluctant to say anything. Flair
tells him to make any deal (within reason) to get Rhodes under
contract...or else *he'll* be the one talking to Scott Steiner in fifteen
minutes.
Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim (Savage), Buckley's cough
mixture, 1-800-BAR-NONE, Hot Pockets from Hot Pockets (again), and Randstad
(who?)
Don't forget - tomorrow on TBS is the Kings vs. the Jazz!
When we come back, Sanders is on his knees *pleading* Rhodes to take
the match. Rhodes says he'll take the match with Rick Steiner tonight IFF
he gets a United States title shot at SuperBrawl if he wins tonight.
Sanders agrees.
GENE O. works tonight! He stands with Mark Jindrak & Shawn Stasiak -
tonight, Stasiak takes on Palumbo. Stasiak is probably the *worst*
interview in WCW right now - he's not even good enough for me to transcribe
for posterity. Gist is: he carried Palumbo, and he'll prove it tonight.
Meanwhile, Diamond Dallas Page catches up to a pouting Cat and gets all
PHILOSOPHICAL with him. "Do you forget what Ali said, man? 'You're only a
loser when you quit the fight.' Dig?" Page promises that Jarrett has
earned a one-way trip to Bangtown. As for Kanyon...
Meanwhile, Animal has Sanders lifted off the ground. "Tell me it's done!"
Sanders says it's done - Flair apologises and there's hugs all around.
After Sanders is sent off, Flair asks Animal to be his insurance policy
tonight. It's about his kid! Animal takes the loyalty oath.
Let's Take a Special Video Look at the Steiner Brothers. Narrated by ASK
MIKE TENAY DOT COM, this is a weak attempt to explain away Rick's
gazillionth turn with a "blood is thicker than water" vibe.
COMING UP... Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner!
RICK WOOF WOOF (with the TV-14-DL ratings box & Let Us Take You Back to
Last Week) v. DUSTIN RHODES - it's seven to the hour...looks like they'll
once again manage to time it perfectly and have this match end just in time
for RAW to start. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself...let's find out
together. Did I mention that NBA basketball airs on TNT Wednesdays and
Thursdays? I think I missed a few of these earlier, but damned if I'm
gonna go back and FIND them. Holy crap, Dustin, get a cup or something!
Steiner swings the belt and misses - Rhodes in - punchfest erupts. Steiner
sent into the ropes, reversed, Rhodes ducks, lariat. Right, right, right,
flip, flop, grab the penis, double axe handle. Rhodes needs to PUT that
thing away. Sheesh. Referee "Blind" Billy Silverman wants some room so
Steiner can get back in - Steiner begging off once he IS in. Ref shoved
into Rhodes - and Steiner sneaks in a giant kick to the jimmy (hmm, HE
noticed, too) as Silverman's back is turned. Right hand from Steiner. Into
the ropes, Steinerline. Woof woof woof! 1, 2, no. Steiner argues the
cadence and gets muted in the process. Choke on the second rope. Another
mute. Rhodes takes a wild swing...and falls. Straight right by Steiner.
Rhodes punches back - Steiner with a knee. Through the ropes to the floor,
and Steiner follows. Heading to the commentary table...no, it's a whip
into the safety rail, reversed and *Steiner* hits! Steiner into the
ringpost (sorta). Rhodes with a right - Steiner with a right, right,
everbody back in the ring, Steiner kicks a field goal and goes to the rear
chinlock. Forearm across the face. Belly-to-belly suplex. Steiner tells
Silverman to count - 1, 2, kickout. Steiner gets up and asks for an
apology - and gets it! Straight right to Rhodes. Rhodes with a kick,
kick, kick, Steiner pops back with six or seven rights - maybe eight. Back
to the chokes on the second rope, tearing at the face at the same time.
Tony says Rhodes' nose is bleeding. Steiner takes too long to
pose...Rhodes coming back with a gutshot, right, into the ropes, sleeper!
Steiner manages the jawbreaker to stop it. Rhodes is bleeding something
fierce from his nose. Steiner stands on the neck for 4. Snapmares him
over, to the headlock. Steiner goes ahead and puts his feet on the bottom
rope as well. OLD SCHOOL, BABY! Silverman *just* misses the feet on the
rope. Back to the rope - Silverman probably caught it that time, but old
school dictates Steiner can't get caught until the third time. Arm
falls once, arm falls twice...arm does not fall thrice. Rhodes up - right,
right, right right right, off the ropes, floatover (to be charitable),
backslide, 1, 2, NO! Steinerline stops that rally. Cover - 2! Steiner
grabs Silverman and tosses him out through the ropes - fortunately, he
lands on his feet, so he can count Rhodes' schoolboy - 1, 2, NO! Rhodes
with a right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, up and over by
Rhodes, Steiner with a wicked back elbow. Rhodes ducks the Steinerline,
off the ropes, flying lariat is ducked by Steiner...but not by Silverman.
Steiner with a kick to the head. Into the corner, boot up by Rhodes -
there's the bulldog! Leg is hooked - Dustin counts his own three...then
relents to try to raise Silverman. ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL is out now - Rhodes
spots him...right hand puts him back on the floor. Steiner with a
belly-to-belly after the distraction, though. Now FRANCHISE (of all
people) is up on the apron...cast to Steiner's head - Rhodes with a DDT -
Silverman up - 1, 2, 3! (8:01) Good match, cluster notwithstanding. These
guys have been at it a long time - they *should* know how to put on a goot
match. Replay shows that Franchise used the cast on Animal before getting
up on the apron - the replay is also *hiding* that Animal is back up and
helping Steiner to put a big hurtin' on Franchise. Rhodes catches sight of
this on the Nitrotron following the replay...and heads back to help.
Steiner is ready to Pillmanize his OTHER wrist - Rhodes in with a chair of
his own, but Steiner punks him out and put him outside - Steiner off the
top RIGHT on to the chair. Franchise gets muted, as you can imagine.
Rhodes is a little late.
Scott Steiner and Midajah are in Flair's office - Steiner isn't too happy
about having to defend his belt tonight. Nash suddenly appears on Flair's
(MAGIC) monitor...I couldn't hear him, but it sounds like he said he'd pop
David one if Flair tried to pull a fast one and do anything but one on one
tonight. Steiner says nuts to this, he's gonna do it his own way...
Thunder ad
The Castrol Motor Oily replay is Franchise taking out Animal, Steiner,
Rhodes with the DDT...and pin. But at what cost - Franchise's left arm?
PRIMETIME UP ELIX SKIPPER v. KIDMAN (without Tygress - she's been fired) in
a Cruiserweight Qualifier - "All you dumb Americans listen up - in case you
didn't hear the lyric...in case you didn't hear the lyric, this is MY
house! And I built this house! So I want all you dumb Americans to sit
back and relax, 'cause I'm gonna show you somethin' you ain't NEEEEEEEVAH
seen before. In fact, I'ma give you a taste...of Prime Time." Kdiman
comes to the ring alone and without a first name, to the Filthy Animals
theme. I hear that SuperBrawl Revenge is six days away - pass it on.
Skipper punks out Kidman in mid-pose to get it on, Kidman ends up on the
apron. Block, right, shoulder, back in over the back, ducks a clothesline,
jumping back elbow, nips up, dropkick! Kidman with the Four Punch Count
Along...Skipper trying to pull him out, but Kidman snaps off a 'rana to
take Skipper out to the floor. Is Kidman gonna fly? No, he's gonna slide
out under the ropes, grabbing his head for a faceplant on the way down.
Into the safety rail! Slide back in the ring, Kidman over the top rope
from the apron with the guillotine - 1, 2, Skipper kicks out. Into the
ropes, Skipper goes behind and hits a BIG German release suplex. Skipper
wants him to know who's house it is. Off the ropes with a straight right.
Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Choke on the bottom rope by Skipper.
"USA!" Going for the choke again - referee "Blind" Mark Johnson pulls him
off. Kidman tries a gutshot, left, right, but Skipper has more behind
*his* right. Kneelift, forearm in the back to put him down. Kidman fires
back, right, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed by
Skipper, Kidman ducks the clothesline, Skipper bridges under the crossbody
and Kidman follows through all the way to the outside. Skipper's not done
- CORKSCREW PESCADO!! Kidman run into the safety rail. And one more
meeting of Kidman and the safety rail. Overhand forearm by Skipper.
Kidman wants back in but Skipper pulls him out again- into the apron hard,
kick, rolled under the rope and back in - Skipper covers - 1, 2, no.
Skipper with a Euro forearm, kick, whip into the opposite corner is
reversed, but nobody home on the splash - Skipper with a kick, climbing up
after sitting him on top - Kidman punching out - SECOND ROPE SITOUT
POWERBOMB!! Kidman covers - only 2! Kidman going for the death suplex -
Skipper backflips out and lands on his feet - full nelson - DRAGON SUPLEX!!
How can Kidman kick out at 2? Well, he did - hooks the arm off the
unsuccessful clothesline - reverse suplex by Kidman - and *he* gets 2!
Skipper into the ropes, reversed, Kidman holds on, Skipper under the
clothesline, hooks the arm, chinlock, up and over the back (wow!) - cover,
2. Going for a powerbomb - tsk, tsk, YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN.
Scoop...and a falcon arrow gets Kidman 2. Kidman lining him up for another
one - reversal by Skipper, butterfly suplex. Arm wringer, going for the
Overdriver, but Kidman escapes the leg on the neck - ducks a roundhouse
kick, hooks the arm, head between the shoulderblades, Kid Krusher! 1, 2,
3! (6:29) The last two men for the four corners match will be decided in
a cruiserweight tag on Thunder. Replay of the final sequence.
COMING UP... Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner
See the stars of WCW live - while you still can! Friday tix go on sale for
McMinnville (WHERE?) - tix also on sale for Nitro in Gainesville -
Saturday, tix on sale for Nitro in Greenville - tickets are STILL on sale
for Sunday's big PPV in Nashville, by the way - this could be the
penultimate WCW pay-per-view, so you better....well, only if you *want* to.
Close captioning where available typed in by George Foreman for MEINEKE!
Gene O. stands with Hugh Morrus. Sunday at SuperBrawl, he gets the Wall.
Morrus promises to have Wall's blood on his hands Sunday. Then he
challenges Chavo Guerrero Jr. and the Wall to a tag match against him and
Rey Mysterio Jr. for Thunder.
Meanwhile, Scott Steiner and Midajah are prowling around, on the hunt for
Kevin Nash. Scott beats up a random crew member.
Meanwhile, Flair is still on the phone (to who?) ohhh, it's *Beth* on the
other end of the line. Gotcha
Here's a Special Video Look at the Long History Between Diamond Dallas Page
and Kanyon - wow, there's a lot more old Russo crap in this package than I
would have like to have been reminded of...
New WCW Magazine ad - they had to come up with something since they
couldn't include "the Women of WCW" anymore. "This month, Eric Bischoff
shoots straight from the hip!" Eric Bischoff? What's HE got to do with
WCW?
Don't forget - Pardi Gras is two weeks away! Don't forget - it's sponsored
by 1-800-COL-LECT and America (whee) Online
SHAWN STASIAK (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. CHUCK PALUMBO
(with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week & NBA Wednesdays and Thursdays),
when the Perfect Event collide - Stasiak comes to the ring to Mr. Perfect's
music, while Palumbo sticks with the tried and true Natural Born Thrillers
theme. Jawjacking in the ring to start - slap by Stasiak, right by
Palumbo. Stasiak with a kick, right, right, into the opposite corner is
reversed, shoulder up by Stasiak - Palumbo ducks the clothesline, and lands
the right hand. Into the ropes, big back body drop. Clothesline out of
the ring. Referee "Seen My Brother Around?" Scott James puts on the count
- Stasiak hits the hot shot on his way back in. Stomp, stomp,
right, into the ropes, reversed, Stasiak ducks, crossbody caught by Palumbo
- fallaway slam! "That's it!" Cover, leg is hooked - 1, 2, no. Palumbo
with a right hand, into the ropes, Stasiak whips his head down to the mat.
Stomp, stomp, right hand, into the ropes, reversed, Stasiak holds on,
gutshot, gutwrench into a slam. Leg hooked - 1, 2, no. Head to the
buckle. Right, right, right, right, kick, kick, stomp, right, standing on
the neck with BOTH legs - James pulls him off. Scoop...but Palumbo goes
behind, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, jumping back elbow
by Stasiak. Cover, leg is hooked, 2. Stasiak into the mount - seven quick
rights. Choke on the top rope - then pulling back to whip him back into
the ring. Palumbo manages a small package for 2. Palumbo blocks, right,
right, right, into the corner, reversed, Stasiak with a clothesline,
running bulldog/facebuster combo coming out! Posing to the crowd. Stasiak
with a vertical suplex, holding onto him into a neckbreaker - 1, 2, Palumbo
kicks out! Stasiak argues the count - Palumbo gets a schoolboy for 2.
Clothesline by Stasiak. Stasiak working the crowd yet again. Now to the
illegal choke. Right hand. Right. Into the opposite corner, taking too
long before charging in - Palumbo gets the boot up. Palumbo runs into a
Stasiak powerslam for 2. Right by Palumbo, right, right, off the ropes
into Stasiak's back elbow. Swinging neckbreaker attempted, Palumbo follows
through and keeps rolling, Northern Lights suplex hits - leg is hooked - 1,
2, no! Head to the buckle by Palumbo - into the opposite corner, Stasiak
up - legs on the shoulders - Palumbo does a 180 and hits a big ol'
spinebuster. 1, 2, NO!! Tony dutifully says "sidewalk slam." Palumbo
ducks the first clothesline, then catches the second for an armbar
takedown. "That's it!" Palumbo going outside...and up top. Top rope
shoulderblock finds the mark! Looks like he's warming up the band for the
Sweet Chin Music - I mean Jungle Kick - But Stasiak *catches* it, spins him
around, Palumbo ducks the lariat - Stasiak goes behind, up and over in the
corner, Palumbo tries a rollup, Stasiak keeps rolling, they're in the ropes
- James stops counting at 2 and they break it up. I think BOTH men were
pulling the tights. How confusing! Right by Stasiak. Right by Palumbo,
right, right, scoop...Stasiak goes behind, schoolboy, BIG handful of tights
- 1, 2, 3. (8:01) Stasiak wants the belt - nah. No, he wants a mic.
"Palumbo - Palumbo! I told you I was the man - I carried you from the very
beginning. I proved that tonight, just like I'm gonna prove it at
SuperBrawl." HEY! Chuck Palumbo and Roxy Powers have the same hairdo!
COMING UP... Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner!
"The Lost World" is NEXT!
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS CRAPPY MUSIC comes out through the crowd to the
ring 'cause he's a SUCKUP. Also he upends some guys drink in the front row
trying to jump over the railing - ha! "Yo! This Sunday at SuperBrawl -
the Chosen One Jeff Jarrett and DDP will tear - it - down. And you, Chosen
Monkey, that leaves you with a choice of choosing the big bang theory,
which means at Slapnuts SuperBrawl, you will feel the BANG! Now, I'd be a
little remiss if I didn't mention the fact that Kanyon's back. And since
Kanyon's back, I gotta ask a question: who's a bigger scumbag than Kanyon?
Exactly, nobody. Nobody but a scumbag like Kanyon tries to get over by
impersonatin' ya, by tryin' to steal your look, by tryin' to steal your
music, steal your signature sign, and even stealin' your finishin'
manoeuvre (the Diamond Cutter) and changin' the name to the Kanyon Cutter?
I don't think so! Kanyon, you're gonna learn firsthand that NOBODY, and I
mean NOBODY, steals nothin' from Diamond Dallas Page. You're back? Well,
monkey, I'm JACKED, and I'm right here - anywhere, anytime. I'm gonna
getcha, monkey." For some reason, JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET is out.
"Listen up, you bangin' slapnut! Stop worrying about Kanyon, because your
butt is gonna be Positively mine this Sunday at SuperBrawl. Come Sunday,
you're gonna feel the bang all right, but it's gonna be because
you're gonna be wearin' this guitar around that fat melon you call a head.
Now choke on that, DDP!" "Well, j-brone, I don't see nothing but air in
between me and you....as far as I'm concerned, we can do it right here
tonight in Biloxi, Mississippi!" "Wait wait wait wait wait just a minute
DDP. I'm a man of my word, and I said I'm gonna do it this Sunday ... not
tonight." Behind Page's back, KANYON hits the ring - back elbow from Page,
right, left, right, discus lariat, into the corner, Diamond Cutter out.
Jarrett is just in time with El Kabong. AND the Stroke! Play Jarrett's
music! Jarrett does the diamond sign, just because he knows that'll
legitimately piss off Page - that was pretty cool.
Backstage, Steiner is following cable to the room where Nash started out
the show - on a monitor, he spies Nash and David Flair - and they're
WALKING! So he's out after them...
UP NEXT... Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner! Funny, but most of these clips
are of David Flair...
Pardi Gras is brought to you by 1-800-COL-LECT and America Online! Got it
in your head yet?
KEVIN NASH (with David Flair) v. WHITE THUNDER (with Meshy Midajah) for the
World Heavyweight Championship - Right hand puts Flair down in the ring.
Flair staggers back up as RIC FLAIR & TWO SECURITY DRONES come out. "Nash,
Nash, Nash, I have done everything you asked me to do - please - I've done
everything - brother this is not an easy job tonight, pal, I've done
everything! Now let me have my son back, please. Please. Come on -
enough. Please. I've done everything. Please. I've done everything."
Nash picks up Flair and leads him to the ropes...then pulls him back and
delivers the Truckstop Drop, to Ric's dismay. Ric directs his two Security
guards to collect David's corpse as Steiner's music starts. Nash pops
Steiner as he hits the apron, head to the buckle, again, and a right puts
him on the floor. Nash goes out to meet him - right. Slid into the ring -
Nash in over the top rope, grabbing him as he tries to escape - into the
ropes, reversal, so Nash knees him - whip, pulled back into a short
clotheslilne - 1, 2, no. Right by Nash. Steiner is in the corner- knee by
Nash, knee, knee. Right hand misses by a mile, but Steiner sells it, God
bless him. Elbow, right, six days to SuperBrawl Revenge, clothesline takes
Steiner over the top to the floor. Nash Diesels over the top rope and goes
outside. Into the safety rail. Outside, Ric loads David into a limo -
then tells his assembled team members to "kill Nash." Nash going
for...Snake Eyes on something outside? Steiner lands back on his feet,
however, and puts Nash into the post. Nash put back in the ring, Steiner
in, knee in the back, running stomp, belly-to-belly suplex gets 2. Steiner
argues the count with referee "Blind" Mickie J., then runs up into another
stomp on Nash. In the corner, kick, kick, forearm, forearm, chop,
clothesline, chop, forearm to the back. Steiner mouths off to the crowd,
then eggs on a different section. Into the ropes, Steinerline. Kiss the
bicep, drop the elbow, 1, 2, no no it's pushup time for Steiner. Headlock.
Here come TOTALLY BUFFED & JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET & RICK WOOF WOOF but
they're cut off by CAT & DUSTIN RHODES & KRONI>|. Nash has powered out of
the submission hold in the meantime, and hits a death suplex. Both men up
slowly. Nash with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," again, right, into
the ropes, Steiner ducks the clothesline but Nash hits the sidewalk
slam...for 2. Into the ropes, big boot. Down come the straps - you know,
that never works for Nash, though - he shouldn't do that. Sure enough,
here comes THE CEO - into the ring as Steiner assumes the position - right
hand has no effect except to cause J. to throw out the match. (relaxed DQ
5:16) Flair sneaks in a chop before Nash goes to work - right, knee, into
the ropes, big boot. Flair assumes the position - truckstop drop!
Meanwhile, Midajah has passed Scott Steiner the lead pipe for a little
Gillooly action. WHACK! WHACK! I think Nash just said "Why me, why
anybody?" But I can't tell for sure - credits are up and we are OUT.
Oops, just enough time leftover for one more SuperBrawl Revenge ad.
Hey, the *wrestling* was better, at least. Still, as it stands we're
looking at six more episodes of Nitro before it's all over, so it's kinda
difficult to get *too* excited.
We'll see.
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net