by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
QUICK QUOTE: WWFE 21 (+ 3/4)
Hey, no pre-show hype for the first time in a LONG long time..
One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Opening Credits
Pyro! Folks! Action! We are LIVE 10.7.2K from the San Jose Arena in San
Jose, CA and even tho' it's right around 6 PM over here, the place is full.
So, let's start early with
CHRIS BENOIT and BIG SKIPPY hit the ring together, to Benoit's music.
Shane says that the reason the next leader of the WWF and the next WWF
Champion are together is simply becuase they are good friends...and lately,
he's really begun to admire certain qualities in Benoit. He's
goal-oriented, possess deadly focus, is cold hearted, ruthless, and just
happens to be an equal-opportunity offender. Let Us Take You Back One Week
as Benoit puts a hurtin' on both Eddie Guerrero and Chyna...then, made the
Rock CRY as he put him in the Crippler Crossface. Shane reminds us that
Rock has been ducking Benoit - Let Us Take You Back to Thursday as Rock
"used Shane's presence to run away" during their big matchup. Shane says
he's proud to call Benoit his friend - and they shake hands. "Thank you,
Shane - I'm equally proud to call you my friend. However, the Rock is
certainly no friend of mine. You see, I don't have friends who
are...cowards. I don't have friends who like to hide behind women's
skirts, and I do no have friends who cannot admit that I am THE world's
greatest technical wrestler in the history of the WWF. [Huh?] That's why
tonight, I'm asking the Rock to prove me wrong. Oh, don't worry, Rock, I'm
not gonna ask you to put up the title tonight, but if I beat
you...(chuckles) and I will, then I want you, one on one, in a title match
at Fully Loaded, and I WILL become WWF Champion, and that is the way it
is." One brief laugh later... "Oh, and by the way, Commissioner Foley
isn't here to make the match tonight. He's on a PR Tour of southeast Asia
- as far as I'm concerned, I hope the commissioner comes down with a case
of disentary - that way, he'll be able to talk out of both ends at the same
time....just like the Rock." Well, this finally bring out LA ROCA. "Chris
Benoit, you come out here and run your mouth, and you actually have the
nerve to ask the Rock 'prove you wrong.' Well, the Rock has no problem
proving you wrong. Because if you think, Benoit, that you're better than
you're wrong. And if you think that Shane McMahon is anything more than a
silver-spoon, puffy cheeked, punkass son of a (beep), you're wrong. And if
you think after hearing your challenge that later on tonight that the Rock
isn't gonna walk down this ramp, get in that ring and whip your candyass
all over San Jose...["Rock E!"]...then you're wrong, Benoit, 'cause the
Rock says this: to you and you...just bring it jabrones, just bring it."
Benoit and Shane are left to mug for the crowd while Rock's music
plays...until EDDIE GUERRERO & THAT SLUT CHYNA run out with chairs - Shane
takes one shot in the back before they both run off and Eddie's music
plays. Tonight! Jericho vs. Road Dogg! Venis vs. Kane AND Rikishi in a
Triple Threat IC title match! All this AND a women's Street Fight between
Lita and Stratus! Tag team titles on the line! And Rock and Benoit - that
enough for ya? Yow!
Here's a look via map at the WWF Southeast Asia tour - follow the bouncing
smiley face mit Mankind mask as it travels from New York to LA, then across
the ocean to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - Jakarta (No "D?"), Indonesia - No
City Listed, Singapore - back to Malaysia - and ending up in No City Listed
Hong Kong! But with the Commissioner ten thousance miles away...how will
that affect tonight's outcomes?
Two weeks away - TWIX presents WWF Fully Loaded - it's all in the mix!
TOO COOL v. T&A (with Trish Stratus - the fitness model) v. HARDY
BOYZ (with Lita) in a Triple Threat Elimination match - Let Us Take You
Back to last night as Trish took out Lita with a variety of cheap heel
tactics. Lita, of course, immediately looks for some retribution tonight,
and we ignore the Pier Six brawl in the middle of the ring to watch the
goings on outside as the chase is on. Tonight, the Acolytes FINALLY get
the title shot that they've earned! Hooray! Referee "Blind" Mike Chioda
finally separates the women as the ring empties of all but TOo Cool and
Albert - double DDT for 2. Hotty right, right, right, into the ropes,
reversed, duck, Hotty into a press, but gets out - but eats a clothesline
to the back of the head. Albert off the ropes, splash misses, Hotty
breakdances back up a la Booker T, elbowdrop, tag to Sexay, off the rope
swith a clothesline, another is absorbed, Albert puts up the boot on the
third attempt. Test tagged in - right, right, clubbing forearm. Into the
corner, boot up for a superkick, back elbow stops a second charge, tornado
DDT. Test stumbles into the Hardyz corner where Matt hits him - Test is a
pinball between Grand Master Sexay and Matt Hardy - but Chioda is saying
that counts as a tag! So Sexay calmly sneaks up behind Hardy and hits a
backdrop suplex. Hardy avoids a dance and charge in the corner to follow
it up - second rope legdrop gets 2. Head to the buckle, tag to Jeff, into
the opposite corner, all fours assisted side kick, 1, 2, nope. Gutshot,
gutshot, Sexay kicks back, side headlock, powered out, off the ropes,
shoulderblock by Sexay. Off the ropes, up and over, leapfrog, flippy
flippy, they collide head to head and both men are down. Sexay up first
and tossing Hardy out onto the apron - Test reaches over and tags himself
in, then drops to the floor and drops Hardy on the barricade. Hardy put
back in, tag to Albert. Into the corner, do si do whip - Albert avalanche,
into Test's big boot - but only 2 off the cover? Tag to Test - open shot.
Right hand. Head to the buckle. Right, right, right, right, right, stomp,
stomp, shove for Chioda as well. Test brings Hardy out - scoop...and a
slam. Test perched on the second rope - but both feet go up. Hardy ducks
a clothesline and sails to his corner to tag in Matt! Block, right, right,
discus right, into the ropes is reversed into the corner, back elbow up,
flying clothesline by Hardy...for 2! Test with a gutshot, pump handle -
but Hardy shrugs off the Meltdown and shoves him into Too Cool's corner,
where he collides with Scotty 2 Hotty! Apparently, *this* one DOESN'T
count as a tag, because after Hardy hits the Twist of Fate, he's able to
tag in Jeff for the swanton bomb as BOTH members of Too Cool come in to
argue that THEY shouldn't be getting a piece of this. Unfortunately, this
means that Chioda totally misses Albert come in with a double choke bomb on
Jeff - and drag Test on top of him. 1, 2, 3 (6:00). Lita finds a
celebrating Stratus and muscles he down to the mat...but Albert is quickly
over to give his manager an advantage, holding her for a big clothesline.
Matt Hardy off the apron...and into a big bearhug - Hardy vaults himself
onto this pile. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Test dumps out Sexay, but
falls to a Hotty bulldog. The Worm is cut short by TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, who
chokes out Hotty long enough to take Test's top-rope Canadian elbow and lay
out for the pinfal. (7:13) Oh yeah, Trish is Canadian too. That's a
coincidence, I'm sure.
Triple H complains about the absent commissioner ruining their lives even
in his absence. We also learn that Foley has promised to null and void the
Triple H/Jericho match at Fully Loaded if any of them punk out Jericho
pre-match. H tells Road Dogg to take care of Jericho...or don't bother
coming back to see him. "Hey - what's that about?" X-Pac: "Hey, just chill
out..."
wwf.com spot
Moments Ago - Tazz comes out between the "O" and the "R." What's
motivating these "random" attacks?
Backstage, KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY tries to catch up to Tazz and get some
rationale. "So *now* you want to talk to me....(hissing) I don't think
so!" and off he goes, having sufficiently frightened him.
ROAD DOGG v. CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO - Dogg eschews the mic, proferred
by ring announcer LILIAN GARCIA - and for an encore, runs up the ramp to
punk out Jericho pre-pose! Guess he's a heel tonight, eh? Dogg actually
strikes the Jericho pose and tells us to suck it - ha! Jericho punches
back - down the ramp we go as Twix provides a Double Feature of Dogg
getting the early upper hand - he's long since lost it now. Finally in the
ring, and referee "Blind" Jim Korderas calls for the opening bell - we
don't hear it, but let's pretend, shall we? Jericho with a chop - Dogg
trying to go outside, but Jericho catching him. Chop, into the ropes is
reversed, clothesline ducked, clothesline hits. Triple H, X-Pac and
Stephanie watch on a monitor in the back. Springboard dropkick takes Dogg
off the apron - Jericho out to pick him up - right hand, big "Y2J" chant,
into the steps is reversed, Dogg flapjacks him onto the steps (yow!), and
clotheslines him out on the floor. Back in the ring. "You suck - how
'bout that?" In the corner, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, standing on the
neck for 4. Right cross. There's a suspicious swell of booing from
somewhere. Jericho punching back - into the ropes is reversed, Dogg buries
a knee in the gut - cover - 2. Dogg to a headlock as crowd fires up
another chant for Jericho. Jericho to his feet - elbowing out, elbow,
right, right, right, off the ropes, clothesline ducked into a rollup for 2!
Dogg with a big-time lariat as he pops up. Dogg poses - and gets boos.
Second rope choke for 4. Scoop...and a slam. Flourish elbowdrop - another
dancin' elbow. "How ya like me now?" Must be a Hardcore Holly tribute.
Right, right, right, right, Road Dogg in command. Into the ropes, but
Jericho springs off with a flying jalapeno! Gutshot, off the ropes with a
bulldog. Cover...2! Jericho with a right, into the ropes, Dogg holds on,
Jericho ducks the clothesline - double leg takedown! Can he put on the
Walls of Jericho? Dogg manages to kick him away - but he eats a boot
trying to charge in! Dogg ducks the follow up - left, left, left, right
puts him on the mat - Dogg to the top rope? MOONSAULT misses - holy crap,
who knew he could still bust that one out? Jericho quickly off the ropes
with the Lionsault - booting him right on the chin in the process - 1, 2,
3!! (5:15) Triple H attempts to throw a lamp at the monitor -
fortunately, he misses.
Backstage, Undertaker drives his motorcycle through a crowd...parting them.
Undertaker is too hep to be WALKING!
Moments Ago...damn, that looked like it hurt. Triple H threw a lamp, too
Road Dogg tries to explain to X-Pac how he normally doesn't moonsault (got
that right, eh?) - Triple H enters the picture and shoves Road Dogg back.
X-Pac attempts to make the peace: "we're all on the same side!" Triple H:
"I used to think that..." and he takes off.
THE UNDERTAKER rides his Beautiful Titan Bike around the ring. Once again,
the ring steps have mysteriously placed themselves on end so he can make
the full lap. He's not scheduled to compete tonight, we are told - hey, I
bet he'll have a few words for us. "Now I ain't about a lotta talk these
days with too much people doin' too much talkin'...but when someone pisses
me off, there's gonna be hell to pay! And there ain't nothin' I can't
stand more than some punkass that's afraid of a fight! Kurt Angle.
American hero? If that ain't a big load o' crap, I don't know what is!
Kurt, first you stop my brother Kane and I from winning the tag titles with
your bogus-ass interference. And if that ain't enough, then you pour milk
and food on my brand new Titan motorcycle? And you don't even have the
common courtesy to clean it off! Listen, if you got a beef with me, I
ain't a hard guy to find. I stand six foot ten, I weigh 330 pounds, and
I'm usually kicking the hell out of somebody! So I guess, Kurt, I will be
all damned to hell if I let you hide behind some bogus apology that I do
not accept. So let me lay it out like this - I think it's time Kurt Angle
find out WHY I AM the American Badass - and it's time for him to feel an
ass-kickin' - OLD SKOOL STYLE. So I guess what I'm gettin' at - is Kurt
Angle, it's time for you and me to fight - tonight - here - now -
let's git it on!" KING KURT ANGLE appears at the top of the ramp, sans
crown and sceptre. "First of all, Undertaker, I would like to apologise
for ruining your tag team title match, and for soiling your motor-bike with
milk. As they would say on the streets...my bad. Now I realise you wanna
have a match tonight, and I don't have a problem with that, but a match of
this magnitude - a match of this status - a main event match like you and I
CERTAINLY can't be wasted in San Jose - it's true...it's true. I mean,
ever if we were to have a match - if a match like this were even to occur
(which it doesn't have to occur, but if it were to occur) - it would have
to be at Fully Loaded. And you know what, to be honest with you, Mr.
Undertaker, I'm not so sure anyone wants to see you and I go at it. See
what I mean? These people are booing with anger over the thought of you
and I going at it - it's true. So...think about this - an American hero
held in the highest regard - an Olympic champion - American hero! Taking
on an American Badass...I mean, if you really are that bad...(not to say
you're not a badass, what I'm trying to say) - the point is it's
un-American! I mean, I'm not so sure the people want to see an American
Badass period! What I'm trying to say is...'Taker...maybe you need to
clean up your image a little bit. And, you know, I have the perfect idea -
tonight I have the perfect idea that just might do that. Now, I realise
you won't accept my apology, but I do believe I have something that you
will accept. Now - now don't go away, it's right back here, I'll be right
back." Undertaker is left to pace in the ring as Angle disappears...and
emerges on a motor scooter, wearing a white helmet (with stars and stripes)
and goggles. "Now Undertaker, just think about this for a second. I want
you to forget about that big ol' road hog, gas guzzling, rocket monster -
that - ah - Titan formulated for ya - and I want you to look at your brand
new Slick Scooter - now listen to this..." and he revs it up. "You gotta
watch how this baby ride - you're gonna love this!" Kirt putts down the
ramp and around the ring. It even has "Undertaker" stenciled on it! "So
Undertaker, I want you to accept my gift, and I want you to ride what a
real American rides." "I tell you what, boy. That's it. I tell you what
I'm gonna do to you and your ride. I'm gonna come down there and I'm gonna
kick your teeth so far down your throat - I'm gonna kick your teeth so far
down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me
off." Angle attempts to poot up the ramp...unfortunately, it appears to
stall out at the top of the ramp. Here comes Undertaker....Angle decides
to run off. Undertaker stops at the top of the ramp...and runs the scooter
off the edge of the stage to the floor. It fails to explode, or shatter,
or do much of anything. Well, here's some replays from various angles
anyway. Coming up next, three men vie for IC gold!
And now, the WWF Slam of the Week - brought to you by Twix! From
SmackDown! last Thursday, Tazz takes a camera to Rikishi, helping Val Venis
defend the intercontinental title
Moments Ago - thank God Kurt Angle wasn't on that poot scooter!
WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: RIKASHMONEY v. KANE v. BALD VENIS (by
his damn self) - champion enters last, just to confuse me. Venis seems to
be newly-shorn - maybe he's giving up on that combover, wot? Rikishi and
Venis are going at it on the outside after we Take You Back to Last
Thursday as Venis saved Stratus from a Kane chokeslam. RAW Credits help
Rikishi put Venis in the ring for Kane - off the ropes, big boot,
clothesline in the corner, TV-14-DLV ratings box, fat ass splash by Rikishi
on Venis - Kane tries to punch Rikishi, blocked, right, superkick. Both
men down - Venis slumps in the corner - crowd swells because there's
nothing they love more than the stinkface - but Kane is over with an
uppercut, halting him. They trade blows in the middle of the ring, Kane
taking over, knee, clubbing forearm, uppercut, off the ropes, caught in a
Samoan Drop. Rikishi off the rope with a drumstick drop. Kane put in the
ropes, head down, Kane takes it to the mat. Clothesline flips Rikishi.
Venis kicks Kane in the back of the legs, then goes outside to put Rikishi
in the STEEL steps. Back in, where Kane clothesline him down. Venis with
a gutshot, head to the buckle, repeated rights, into the opposite corner is
reversed and Venis hits hard. On Kane's shoulder - Venis breaks
free, off the ropes, clothesline absorbed, Venis ducks a big boot and
dropkicks the knee. Venis repeatedly kicking behind the knee - but still
caught and pressed by the Red Man - snake eyes! Kane up to the top -
flying clothesline hits but Rikishi is back in - drumstick drop to the back
of the head at 2. Elbow to Venis, elbow, off the ropes but Venis manages a
DDT - you can't hurt a Samoan's head! Superkick for Venis - and one for
Kane as well. Venis sidesteps a charge and Rikishi posts himself in the
corner. Side Russian legsweep for Rikishi - going up top but Kane is over -
crotching him. Right hand puts him on the floor - Rikishi with a fat ass
splash to Kane - right hand puts him on the mat - climbing up for the
Banzai Drop but it looks like Venis is back over - punching him out of the
corner - calling Kane over, right hand is blocked, Kane throws one and
Venis hits the floor. Gutshot for Rikishi, right, whip into the ropes is
reversed, Kane ducks, choke - Rikishi headbutts out. Clothesline puts Kane
on the floor - but he lands on his feet. Pulling him up by the hair - Kane
reverses into a hot shot - Venis over with a DDT on the floor. Got the
title belt - Rikishi ducks it, right hand puts him down. HE wants to use
the belt, but referee "Blind" Teddy Long manages to pull it away before he
has to DQ him. Belly-to-belly suplex hits. Venis rolls over to the corner
- Rikishi warms up his rump and splashes Venis, who slumps down again. NOW
we'll get that stinkyface. Venis again finds his belt...and this time he
gets to use it. Long has no choice but to call for the bell. (DQ 5:31)
Kane manages a revanche chokeslam but it's a bittersweet moment...
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley catches up to her husband and asks him to please
try and calm down. They'll make things right tonight. Triple H comes up
smiling. "Have I got an idea for you...this is foolproof!"
Earlier Today, a limousine pulled up to WWF New York - and the Kat emerged.
I DID hit the place over the weekend. I vowed not to leave until I saw
Steve Blackman's entire entrance video...and now, my life is complete.
STEPHANIE ONO comes out to hit her one pose and if we're lucky, maybe
she'll tilt her head to one side, too. "Chris Jericho. Y2J. I have a
proposition for you. Why don't you, um, come down to this ring and, well,
let's make up. I promise you I'll make it worth your while. Now...I know
that Chris has said some - some not very nice things about me - but I know
that he didn't mean them! And I've also said and, well, done some things
that I'm not very proud of. But I have a secret. Now, Hunter might get a
little bit jealous about this but, ah, at King of the Ring, when you laid
that big ol' kiss on me...I kinda liked it. And I think you liked it too!
So before this whole thing blows up with Triple H and you, Chris, and me,
let's - let's put the past behind us. Let's...be friends. So, pucker up,
Chris, and let's make up." We see Jericho on the EntertainmentTron.
"Stephanie, I'm absolutely ecstatic that you feel that way - I've been
thinking about nothing but that wonderful, wonderful kiss for the last two
weeks, it's thrown my life absolutely upside down, to be honest, I've been
waiting - I've been pining for the day when I get to taste the wine of your
ruby-coloured, rose-coloured lips once agayne - I mean, I want to take your
shapely, curvaceous, pulchritudanouse female form and hold it next to mine
and squeeze for everything I've got and now my dreams are coming true
agayne! My heart is racing, my blood is pumping, and I'm coming out
there...provided I don't embarrass myself I'm gonna give you the biggest
smooch you have ever, EEEEVER had in your entire life! I'm coming right
out, sugar muffin, you wait right there for me!" Jericho takes off as
Stephanie puckers up...the Y2J countdown hits again...we look at the ramp
to see D & X where Jericho normally would be - but no Jericho. Stephanie:
"Hello!" THE NEW MAN joins them at the top of the ramp as we look back on
the screen to see Jericho. "Seriously, that was the most pathetic attempt
at an ambush I've ever seen in my entire life, orchestrated by Triple H,
the biggest jackass I've ever seen in my entire life! I mean that plan was
as painfully obvious as the fact that Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is nothing
more than a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding
trashbag ho...AND a rancid, reeking, foul-smelling, stinking piece of
roadkill...Triple H, I know why you're so miserable, because you have to
live with the fact that Y2J got more action from a ten second kiss with
your wife than you've gotten from her in the entire ten months that you've
been together! Well at Fully Loaded, Trip, if you want action, Y2J is
gonna give you all the action you can handle, jerky, because now...you're
still the Game...but *I* have become...the hunter." "Jericho...tonight
might not be the night, but Jericho, mark my words. At Fully Loaded YOUR
ASS IS MINE!"
Kevin Kelly stands with the tag team champions. Edge proclaims this
decision as "totally reeking of heinosity." Christian says he's
suffering from the sniffles, and rather than deprive the fans of anything
less than 100%, what with his sniffly situation and all, it's probably in
their best interest that Edge take on one Acolyte in a singles match.
Where the titles are on the line, see, due to the...singularity of things,
and all. Edge proclaims that "singles matches rule!" and Christian almost
forgets that he's sick as he concurs.
Tomorrow, SmackDown! in Oakland is sold out - but check the box office for
tickets released the day of the show! And look for MEEEEEEE, too!
Here's your exterior of the beautiful Shark Tank - it's really bright out
because it's the 7 hour.
Exclusive footage of Mick Foley's Southeast Asia tour will be available for
viewing Saturday on LiveWire!
X-Pac tells Triple H it was a stupid idea - Triple H makes some arguments
and shoves him back. "How about you and I go at it?" "I ain't the
Brooklyn Brawler!" Looks like these two might hook it up tonight...Road
Dogg fails to make peace, so he's outta here.
EDGE (with Christian) v. ACOLYTE BRADSHAW (with Acolyte Faarooq) - I guess
they'll shove this title shot all the way back to the PPV, huh? Coming up,
a women's streetfight. Finish sees referee "Blind" Jack Doan too
preoccupied with the shenanigans of the seconds to miss Edge brain Bradshaw
with the ring bell to score the fall (3:01).
Backstage, the Hardy Boyz give Lita a final pep talk. I think. Did Jeff
just dis her after she went behind the curtain?
Meanwhile, we look from Test...to Val...to Albert. "Man, why's it always
me?" Albert brings her out and puts on her coat. After revealing that
they're not allowed at ringside, Trish freaks out. A quick pep rally by
HER stable and she's pumped up (of puffed up - like her cleavage!) enough
to take off. Lawler completely blows the punchline (Test and Val saying
"not a chance in hell") by hooting over it.
And now, the WWF Burn of the Week - brought to you by Stacker 2! From Heat
last night, Trish Stratus gets the sweater choke on Lita.
Road Dogg tries to talk X-Pac out of his match tonight - he's gonna regret
it. X-Pac don't want none of that "big family" talk. Dogg says he's outta
here - wait, didn't he say that already?
TRISH STRATUS - THE FITNESS MODEL v. LITA in a streetfight - referee
"Blind" Chad Patton is the LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD. Lita makes with the
hairpull takeovers while Stratus makes with the "lookit my ass" and awkward
landings. Immediately we move to the moonsault. Lita asks the crowd if
she wants her to pull off Stratus' top - crowd says "nah, we know what
silicon looks like" - no, of COURSE they egg her on. Lawler: "Bra! Bra!"
Before she can go for the rest of it, STEVEN RICHARDS is out with the usual
fanfare...and a white robe with the international "no" symbol on it for
Stratus. Patton counts out Stratus (COR 1:31) and it looks like Richards
has some words. "I realise that you people think you know what you want to
see, but as I've stated before...as I've stated before, you do not know
what's good for you. And I do! So I personally took the
responsibility..["ass hole"] [anti-PTC sign - oops] ...I took the
responsibility to censore this totally unacceptable display! And I
officially - I officially declare this contest OVER! Up go the alarms
again...cue the "this is American" jingoism from the commentators - woof
woof.
Road Dogg attempts to talk sense into Triple H and fails. Once again he
promises to take off and not be a part of this - they'll regret it later,
by golly!
www.auctions.wwf.com spot
Earlier Today, the XFL announced that there'd be a franchise in San Jose -
Jerry Mimnaugh, executive director of Spartan Stadium, says that
Candlestick Park SUCKS and they'll be so much happier playing in the rain
in San Jose instead of in San Francisco
During the Break, Road Dogg FINALLY made good on his threat to leave already
Tonight, RAW is WAR is brought to you by Chef Boyardee Overstuffed Ravioli,
Bally Fitness, and Lorillard's Whacko Tobacco!
THE NEW MAN (with Stephanie Ono) v. X-PAC - staredown - words exchanged -
shove from H - right from X-Pac, ring the bell. Here we go. Right, right,
right, right, into the ropes is reversed, clothesline ducked, somersault
clothesline. X-Pac making much noise. H pops up and knocks him down with
a right...and stomps away. Tossed through the ropes - H follows. X-Pac
pops up with a right, right, right, head to the commentary table. X-Pac
puts him back in. Right, kick, H knees back, knee, gutshot by X-Pac, whip
is reversed, H with a facebuster. Crowd content to ignore the match in
favour of a "Stephanie swallows" chant. Is it that time of the year to
proclaim DX dead once again? How the time passes. H puts his head in the
turnbuckle, punches, kicks, now X-Pac punches back. Into the ropes is
reversed, duck, high knee by Triple H. I bet they find a way to have
NEITHER man do the job. H with a right, into the ropes is reversed, H
ducks the clothesline, but not the spinning heel kick. X-Pac hits his kick
trifecta in the corner - will he hit the broncobuster? Why, no, he won't.
H up - but X-Pac sidesteps him and puts H through the ropes. CHRIS MONDAY
JERICHO is out to stomp on Triple H...X-Pac looks to Jericho and
laughs...then points to the top of the entryway where ROAD DOGG emerges,
all smiles, with a sledgehammer. Tripleteam beatdown of Jericho ensues.
Well, I'll be jiggered. X Factor for Jericho in the ring. Pedigree coming
up...and there you go. H takes the sledgehammer - D & X holding him
up - open shot by Triple H. Stephanie gets her slap as well. Jericho
comes up with "internal bleeding" for added effect. They're gonna hold him
up for another sledgehammer shot. The REFS & OFFICIALS *finally* come out
to try to pull Triple H off of jericho - but Dogg & X-Pac keep them at bay.
Crowd starts chanting for Rocky...no no, it's no that kind of party. DX
poses over Jericho's carcass - hit their music. Let's call it (no contest
6:30) and may I remind you...X-Pac NEVER jobs in singles matches. Even to
The Game. EMT's are out after these replays. Time now for a short
commercial interlude!
Moments Ago, Jericho spit on Helmsley - well no WONDER he got the
sledgehammer treatment.
As a bloodied Jericho is loaded into the ambulance, DX looks on and gloats.
X-Pac says the beating he took was worth it.
At WWF New York, the Kat is dancing on the bar.
Shane McMahon keeps saying "deadly focus" as he and Chris Benoit are WALKING!
Meanwhile, Rock is WALKING!
What, they're gonna sneak in ANOTHER ad break? Blaah!
Commentators plug USA's "Tuesday First" airing of "Sliver."
CHRIS BENOIT (with Big Skippy) v. LA ROCA in a nontitle match - if Benoit
wins tonight, we'll do it again at Fully Loaded for the strap. There's not
much show left here, and Rock's entrance goes ON and ON and ON - I mean,
"wow, they're really establishing a story by repeatedly showing Rock and
Benoit staring at each other!" Didn't Benoit already beat this guy?
What's he got left to prove? Okay, here we go. Shane attempting to
distract Rock to give Benoit an opening - nope. Block, right, right,
right, into the ropes, back elbow, Benoit elbows, kick, kick, into the
ropes, reversed, Rock with a powerslam for 2. Right, into the opposite
corner, Benoit puts up an elbow, ducks a clothesline, backdrop suplex. Put
in the corner, Benoit with ten kicks. Northern Lights suplex for 2.
Rock put in the corner, Benoit with a knife-edge chop, kick, chop,
right, right, right, snap suplex. 1, 2, kickout. Benoit still on him,
kick, kick, chop, right, chop, chop, chop, Rock switches it, right, right,
right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT! Gutshot, into the opposite corner is
reversed, back to the original corner - Benoit with a German suplex,
holding on for two, Rock fighting the third one, back elbow, elbow, elbow,
Benoit forearm, Rock blocks, turns it into a belly-to-belly suplex and both
men are down. Lawler: "A bit of technical wrestling from the Rock?"
Referee "Blind" Earl Hebner's count is up to 7 - Rock puts on arm on
Benoit...but he kicks out at 2. Update on Jericho's status Thursday! Rock
with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," again, right, right, right, into
the rope is reversed, Rock ducks the clothesline, gutshot, DDT, 2. Benoit
with a gutshot, chop, right, off the ropes, but into a spinebuster. Shane
decides to grab Hebner for no apparent reason, dragging him out of the ring
and putting him down. Shane removes his shirt to reveal the zebra stripes.
Well, he stopped Rock from delivering the elbow. Rock decides to go after
Shane and the chase is on outside the ring. Back in the ring...whoops, he
forgot Benoit was there - big clothesline puts him down and Benoit
IMMEDIATELY goes to the Crippler crossface. Rock really should tap here.
Shane's gonna wait for Rock to give it up - but Rock is inching closer and
closer to the rope...reaching for the bottom rope - but he brushes the
canvas as he swings for it - Shane calls for the bell (4:56) and takes the
mic. "And your winner...and soon to be World Wrestling Federation champion
- as a result of a tapout - my friend, Chris Benoit! Hit the music!"
Benoit keeps the hold on for a while longer - "oh yeah? Not gonna tap to
my hold? Take this, Mr. Eyebrow!" Well, he probably THOUGHT that, anyway.
Replay shows the "tap." Benoit and McMahon make it all the way to the top
of the ramp when ring announcer LILIAN GARCIA says that Hebner actually
gave the decision to the Rock via disqualification for outside interference
(DQ 3:55). Back in the ring, they advance on Hebner. Benoit with a kick
to the gut while Rock punks out Shane - the rest of the REFS are out - Mike
Chioda eats Rock Bottom - geez, what a poor sport...and he WON the match!
Looks like Chioda elbowed Rock pretty good while he was landing as well.
Rock fails to get back to his feet before the credits are up and that final
WWF logo hits the screen. Hmmm...
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net