MAD PROPS: In case you've missed it on the front page, the man holding
the "CRZ IS WALKING" sign is none other than The Evil Sam Graham! THANKS
*two* times to Sam - once now, once because he's actually sending me the
sign. (I'm not exactly sure what I'LL do with it, but...)
I GET LETTERS: Stephen Popick offers a correction: FYI,
toughenough.com has all the tracks on the cd so that you can listen to
them, and maven's theme isn't one of them as best I can tell... I received
a tip on your messageboard that it was big mother thruster's tattoo, but
the darn band is independent and cant find them anywhere... :) thanks
So, it isn't Saliva after all. Shame on me for spreading misinformation!
SHAME SHAME SHAME
HE'S COMING: And your Tuesday surfing will once again have meaning -
beginning NEXT WEEK!
AWARDS: Also coming soon are the 2001 r.s.p-w Year-End Achievement Awards
- the nomination process has just opened up and I've already received
forty lists of suggestions! If YOU want to get involved, get your butt
onto Usenet and check out rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info -
OR you MIGHT find more information about this somewhere else on the
[slash], but keep it on the down low.
QUICK QUOTE: WWF 11 (- .52, last year: 14 15/16) - next week marks the
two-year anniversary of the IPO, and it's sure to be....embarrassing
checking out THOSE stock prices. Wow, another reason to come back next
OBLIGATORY LOCAL SPORTS REFERENCE: Rooting for the Oakland Athletics is
now EXACTLY like rooting for the Sacramento Kings. Hmmm....when's
basketball season start again?
TONIGHT: It's WWF RAW LIVE from the capital of Canada! What a main event
we claim to have for you tonight! It's Steve Austin & Mr. Question Mark
against Kurt Angle & Mr. Question Mark! I wonder if they'll BOTH pick Rob
van Dam! What a hoot that will be in JUST TEN SHORT MINUTES
CAPSULE "TNG" REVIEW: "Where No One Has Gone Before" is some... blaaah
episode, boy howdy. ("You were gonna say 'gay,' weren't you.") NO NO NO
not me, although it IS cool to have a chief engineer named...heh...
"Argyle." "Argyle." HAHAHAHAHA wooooooo
TV-14-DLV One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where
lots of stuff happened - that night...and for No Mercy
PYRO, EH - coming to you LIVE from the Centre Corel in Ottawa, ON 15.10.1
and also there are people in WWF New York! BELIEVE IT - this show is
transmitido en espanol SAP (you French speaking Canadians are SCREWED) on
TNN & TSN and oh man listen up
TONIGHT: Kurt Angle & ???? v. Stone Cold & ???? - how can "????" be on
BOTH sides at the same time? HOW?
COMMISSIONER McFOLEY kicks off our show with book in hand. Whoops, it was
too much to suppose he could keep going without a book plug, I suppose -
too bad I forgot to notice it on Thursday. "Thank you! Thank you, that's
very kind. But I really just came out here tonight to set the record
straight; you see, ever since Linda McMahon named me as the new WWF
Commissioner... (pause for cheap pop) I know it's made a lot of the fans
happy, but a few of my friends in the WWF were saying 'Mick, what, are you
kidding me? Why subject yourself to the one place that's always fed you a
steady diet of pain and misery? I mean, Mick,' they said, 'don't you
remember the last time you were here as commissioner, how it all ended
right before Christmas' - Vince McMahon leaning over, eyes bulging out,
veins popping, toupee shifting wildly from side to side (pause for cheap
pop), leaning right into my face and saying 'YOU'RE FIRRRRRED.' The truth
is, I didn't come back here for Vince McMahon - I don't know where Vince
is, and to tell you the truth, I don't really care. No, I did not come
back for Vince McMahon, nor did I come back for the money - I certainly
did not come back here to plug any of the books that I've written
including this one, 'Halloween Hijinx,' a wonderful children's tale which
is available at bookstores everywhere right now thank you very much, NO,
the reason I came back as your commissioner is for you, the WWF fans.
Yes, I assumed the commissionary position so that I could be the voice of
reason listening to the fans; it's the reason why I made the Triple Threat
match for No Mercy between Stone Cold Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, and PTS.
It's the reason, to tell you the truth, that I put my mind into doing so
many different things that I hope the WWF fans'll be able to sink their
teeth into, and I figured hey, why should I be standing around in the
comfort of my own home scratching my butt, when I could be scratching my
butt right here in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada! (thumbs up for cheap pop)"
At this point, out walks....TRISH STRATUS (THE FITNESS MODEL)? "Whoa -
Canada's very own Trish Stratus - Trish, this is a very nice surprise,
what do I owe the pleasure of your...company to?" "Well, Mick, Mr.
Commissioner if you will - we all know why you really came back. The
Trish needed a little...Commish...and you needed a little Stratusfaction!
And, of course, there's fringe benefits, like the upcoming lingerie match
at No Mercy - and, Mick, I wanna say although Stacy and Torrie are gonna
be great at that lingerie match at No Mercy, you know who looks really
great in lingerie?" I bet Mick says his wife. "Pat Patterson?" Well,
got me again. "No, not quite. Uhh, can I have some Stratusfying music,
please?" Okay, now what exactly is the point of this again WHOA SHE'S
STRIPPED WHOA WHOA WHOA "Trish - I've gotta admit, that does look pretty
impressive, and if you don't mind, and I'm sure the fans right here in
Ottawa wouldn't mind, maybe we could just suspend a little cage over the
ring, and you could spend the rest of RAW kinda hovering over that cage,
so that...the fans can look at you any time, any time they want,
but...then again, the way you're dressed you might catch a little cold, so
maybe...just come back to my commissioner's office where I HAVE a little
cage, you can hang out back there, or maybe come back to the Foley house,
where I have a little cage and my kids can kinda poke little sticks at ya,
it'll be a lotta fun." "Mick...hold on, I - I think you're - I think
you're stalling just to have me stand out here in...well, my lingerie."
"Well....maybe, maybe, Trish, the one thing that's not a maybe, one thing
that is a definite is, under the commissionership of Mick Foley, I can
guarantee the WWF fans MORE great matches like the Triple Threat, MORE
lingerie matches....MORE - Stratusfaction - and more people having a nice
day, thank you very much!" Okay, so the POINT was...
Meanwhile, the Alliance has gathered in the back, and Austin is ready to
address them. "All right, guys, guys, guys, can I have your attention,
please. Guys, guys...KNOCK IT OFF! RVD, this includes you. Thank you.
All right, I know everybody's concerned about what's going on with my
career, I appreciate that, I've always appreciated your support - I know
how much you appreciate me and okay, everything's fine, but what I wanted
to get off my chest today is...to let everybody here know, especially you
RVD, that I'm completely cool with the pay-per-view Sunday. At No Mercy
it's a Triple Threat match - you weaseled your way in, you coulda said no
but you said yes - you're reaching for that star I keep talkin' about,
right? I'm cool with that. Okay? So, forget about Sunday - let's talk
about tonight. Everybody here knows Stone Cold Steve Austin has a tag
team match tonight...against Kurt Angle and a partner of his choosing, but
what we're here tonight to do is to choose who you guys think in the
Alliance deserves to be on the team of Stone Cold Steve Austin. Does
anybody here feel like they deserve that shot? Huh? Okay - easy, easy,
so what I want you guys to do - Debra, I want you to hand out to hand out
the papers and pencil, I want everybody to vote on who they think deserves
to be in the ring with Stone Cold Steve Austin - now, look at me. It
doesn't have to be the most popular person in here - I want it to be the
person that you guys think deserves it the most. All right, any
questions?" Booker T: "Yeah, STEVE. It's gonna be an honour to be on
your team for the five-time WCW champion. It's gonna be a honour."
"Okay, you guys think Booker T deserves a shot..." the noise level in the
room rises to drown out Austin as the papers are passed out...
Ha ha Mrs. Swan is funny
Oh boy! Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley on the cover of WWF Magazine! Buy it
and PISS ON THE COVER!
Backstage, the APA and Jacqueline are giving Nidia a backstage tour - and
extend an invitation for her to come out to ringside with them tonight for
their six person match later in the show. They reach the APA
offices...and find a rope exiting their door and leading to the
Hurricycle. "Vile villians! Charging people for protection?
WASSUPWITDAT? It's Hurritime we put the APA out of business!" Hurricane
revs up the cycle...and pulls the file cabinet and table through the
doorjam! Everyone reacts. Bradshaw: "Stand back, I think there's a
asskickin' comin' through!" Faarooq: "Damn!" Nidia: "..."
DUDLEY BOYZ (with Stacy Dudley - and Let Us Take You Back to Last Week -
both shows) v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW in a handicap match - doubleteam
away to start - into the ropes - double clothesline by Show ducked, but
the next one hits. D-Von clotheslined over the top and out - Bubba Ray
tossed - Show kicks the air in anger! The Dudleyz decide to take a hike -
Show out after them - double clothesline in the back. D-Von gets a right
hand - Bubba Ray gets a headbutt. Bubba Ray ROLLLLLLS all the way back
down - everybody back in. D-Von put in the corner - Bubba Ray's punch is
blocked - Ross tells us DirecTV subscribers are screwed if they want No
Mercy. Bubba Ray whipped into D-Von. Well it's a big splash - nobody
home. Double forearm in the back - double death suplex WOW. Bubba Ray
rolls Show over - D-Von up top for the "headbutt to the graun" while Stacy
occupies referee "Blind" Mike Chioda. Bubba Ray with a kick - D-Von with
a stomp. Crowd wants tables, amazingly. Setting up for another big
double suplex - blocked - SHOW WITH A DOUBLE SUPLEX! Right for D-Von,
right for Bubba Ray, clothesline for D-Von, clothesline for Bubba Ray -
man these guys *might* want to attack at the same time instead of
continually alternating. D-Von into the ropes - backdrop with
ease. Bubba Ray runs into a bodyslam. D-Von in the
choke...ahhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM! DOWN COME THE STRAPS!! What could he do
next? HE'S OUTSIDE FOR A TABLE!! Table in - Show in - Chioda vehemently
protesting but the crowd picks up the "table" chant and this doesn't look
good. Bubba Ray finally back up to the apron - Show shoves him
off. D-Von in the powerbomb position - Stacy up on the apron AGAIN (oh
oh) - Bubba Ray back in and CLOCKS Show with a tag team title belt. D-Von
happens to have an arm draped over him...1, 2, 3. Well I'll be
DAMNED. (3:35) Doubleteam continues...until TAJIRI runs
out! Unfortunately, he proves ineffective and the doubleteam takes HIM
over as well. Table in place - 3D coming up - but Tajiri hooks the ropes
and stops himself, then unleashes a kick on D-Von - GREEN MIST for Bubba
Ray! ahhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM through the table!! Play his music! Did
Tajiri just take Spike's spot?
Austin, Austin, McMahon, McMahon and Regal stand around the full ballot
box - Stone Cold says they're going to go out to the ring and count 'em
up. Debra asks not to forget her vote...they all walk out, but Austin
stays behind, opens up Debra's vote...then, frowning, crumples it up and
leaves it on the floor instead of putting in the box. HMMMMMM. I wonder
if anybody else is watching this on a monitor - D'OH what am I thinking
Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2
And now, the Stacker 2 Burn of the Week - from SmackDown!, Linda fires
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN leads out TEAM W/ECW to the ring for some more
talkin'. Lucky you! Stephanie is FIRST! "You know it never ceases to
amaze me how gullible you people really are. Last week on SmackDown!, my
mother came out into this arena, and you people cheered your heads off!
You people cheer like Linda McMahon is the nicest lady in the world.
Well that nice lady, last week on SmackDown!, ENDED someone's career.
Last week on SmackDown!, Linda McMahon ended someone's livelihood when she
fired THIS MAN! She fired William Regal and she took pleasure in it!
And while our parents may be all about public firing and humiliation, the
Alliance is all about warmth...and good feeling. Positve experiences!
Isn't that right - SHANE." "Tonight, we are gathered here, not to witness
a firing, but to witness yet a hiring. SHUT UP! So it is my honour and
privlige to announce to you the first ever Alliance commissioner, ladies
and gentlemen get on your feet for Commissioner William Regal!"
"Shane...Stephanie...Stone Cold, Debra...the entire Alliance...I am proud
and privliged..." "Ass hole!" "I am proud and privliged to be the new
Alliance commissioner, thank you all. I joined this organisation because
I realised that THIS was the rising force of sports entertainment...and
now I can constantly be in the midst of a man who I am proud to call
champion - Stone Cold Steve Austin." "Thank you Commissioner, and thank
you for your support, what? But we're all out here to find out is who
deserves to team up with Stone Cold Steve Austin tonight In This Very
Ring. So let's go ahead and count the votes." Crowd chants "RVD." Are
those Canadian fans PROUD of their veneral diseases? "Thank you for very
much for joining us out here, RVD. Remind me to buy you a watch for
Christmas, so you'll know what time it is." I guess he arrived late...but
maybe we weren't supposed to know that or the cameras would have shown
it...but then, the ac-TORS in the ring made a big deal of "reacting" to
it, so maybe we WERE supposed to know....or maybe it was just to make sure
the chant came up at the right time....but then, given what Austin
said....ohhhhhh my head hurts trying to figure it out, so I guess I won't.
"All right...okay, Tommy Dreamer, you voted for Booker T. Chris Kanyon,
you voted for...RVD. Chuck Palumbo, you voted for Booker T. Test, you
voted for...Booker T. Mike Awesome, you voted for Booker T. Raven, you
voted for Booker T. Billy Kidman, you voted for R...are you kiddin' me?
You voted for Booker T also. (Kidman looks confused.) It's a landslide -
RVD, you got one lousy vote. You got one vote. That's pathetic! So I
guess there's no sense in countin' the rest of these - hold onto these,
honey...Booker T, it's you that will stand tonight with Stone Cold Steve
Austin!" "You guys didn't do that. Tell me you guys did just do that.
Stone Cold, I wanna thank you AND I wanna thank the Alliance. FINALLY,
I'm gettin' some respesct around this mug. And Stone Cold, as the
five-time WCW Champion, I'm gonna be proud teamin' with you tonight. And
you know what? I can most DEFINITELY dig that." "Thank ya, Booker T.
(looks to van Dam) What? What? Why the long face? Huh look at me - did
you think you deserve to get in the ring with Stone Cold Steve Austin?
Is that what you think you deserve? YOU GOT ONE STUPID VOTE! Look - you
got one vote! That's all you got!" "RVD!" "What? What? What? No, let
me tell you - let me tell you what you deserve, RVD...I'll tell you what
you deserve...you deserve to be a champion! That's right, you're
responsible - shut up - you're responsible for a lotta my success lately -
you deserve to be a champion. You deserve, In This Very Ring, tonight, a
shot against the Rock. See, what're you guys thinking? What're you
thinking? You wanna make this guy earn his stripes? You wanna treat him
like a dog? All your big ideas? Work his way to the top? What're you
thinking? This man has helped Stone Cold Steve Austin - he deserves a
shot at the Rock! What? I said he deserves a shot at the Rock, that way
- that way, if you beat the Rock - that means at No Mercy, you go in as
the Champion. That means you're not a contender in the triple threat
match because you gotta defend your title against Chris Jericho. (Ross:
"Oh, I got it now.") So whaddaya think, Commissioner, will you make the
match tonight, sir?" "As my first official act as the Alliance
commissioner, tonight, the Rock will face RD - *R*VD for the WCW
Championship, right here tonight on RAW." "Congratulations, RVD - the
whole Alliance is behind PTS - PTS - PTS - PTS what? We're all behind
Kurt Angle talks about his drunk father to sell books! ("Hey, that's
outta line!") All right, YOU tell me what he's doing. ("Well....okay,
that's EXACTLY what he's doing, but couldn't you have said it NICER?")
Check out the parking lot of le COREL!
THE HURACAN & MIGHTY MOLLY & LANCE STORM (with Ivory - and Earlier
Tonight) v. APA & JACQUELINE (with Nidia) - Hurricane & Molly have new
music which sounds a bit like all those "America Strikes Back" bumpers
I've been constantly hearing - which probably is NOT what they were going
for, but that's what saturation can do to a man's ears sometimes. Pier
Six Brawl and slowly everbody leaves the ring until we're left with
Faarooq and Storm. Into the ropes with Storm, he ducks, and lands a
Viscera kick. Bradshaw in - forearms to the back - Faarooq back to the
beating - into the ropes, blind tag as Storm takes the spinebuster.
Faarooq tries a pin but referee "Blind" Jimmy Korderas won't count - Molly
in with a stomp...and a pose. Faarooq makes his "huh?" face and decides
to turn round and walk away - Molly puts an axehandle to his back - he
turns back. Pose! Faarooq grabs her hair and drags her to his corner for
a tag to Jacqueline - spear, mount, lefts and rights away. Back up,
right, right, right. Into the ropes, reversed, bodyscissors into a
bulldog by Jacqueline - 1, 2, *Ivory* breaks it up - somehow Korderas
fails to catch what happened. Jackie goes out and gives Ivory a right.
Hurricane in - got her by the leg - Jacqueline with an enzuigiri. Tags on
both sides - Bradshaw with a shoulderblock for Storm, big boot for
Hurricane - APA doubleteam Storm into the ropes - double spinebuster -
Hurricane has the cape - but Bradshaw catches him in midflight - fallaway
slam. Into the corner, Hurricane evades the followup, off the ropes,
clothesline...but Bradshaw is as brick wall and Hurricane ends up hurting
himself - there's Bradshaw's Hades lariat on top of it. 1, 2, 3. (2:14)
Ugly, ugly match. And *speaking* of Nidia (MEOW!), she....comes in the
ring post-match and does nothing. WOW! I think Taylor could have done
TONIGHT: ROCK - RVD - STRAP - TONIGHT!
Take me out to No Mercy ad
Lookit that CD cover! Did you know Saliva's "Click Click Boom" is the
official No Mercy theme? I hear the runner-up was DJ Jazzy Jeff & the
Fresh Prince's "Boom! Shake the Room" but ("Nobody is gonna get it, I
promise you.") ...I think I'll cut this joke short.
In the locker room, van Dam tapes up - Kidman comes in and tells him he
thinks Austin got him into the title match just to get him out of the
triple threat, but this might work out better for him anyway. As for what
happened in the ring, Kidman believes Austin made the whole thing up -
everybody voted for HIM, and nobody voted for Booker T as far as he
knows. At this point, Tazz comes in and tells Kidman he needs to learn a
little respect for Austin. "Well, you know..the leader of the Alliance,
the man who's paving the way for all of the Alliance members, Stone Cold
Steve Austin - I WONDER what would be goin' through his brain if he heard
what you just said." Kidman asks if he's planning on telling him - "are
you gonna be a little...Tazzletale?" Tazz fails to say "no, Austin is
watching this right now on a monitor - see that camera?" and instead says
"Funny. You know what? I think you need to go put your gear on, Billy,
because tonight - guess what - you become just another victim." "What is
his deal?" "Oh, don't worry about him - he's ALWAYS like that. Always
has been." I should probably mention that this whole time, Kanyon has
been sitting on a bench against the far back wall, reading....or
Meanwhile, JONATHAN COACHMAN stands with Kurt Angle. Has he found a
partner yet? "Well that's a tough decision, Coach. I mean, who in their
right mind wouldn't dream of teaming up with an Olympic gold medalist?
But, you know, I'm weighing my options right now, I'm not sure what my
decision'll--" Undertaker enters the frame and pins Coachman to a wall,
causing him to stick his mic underneath his mug. "The sucka is Austin's
partner - so it looks like your partner's already BEEN chosen, golden boy.
Let's get it on, man." "You know, I was just thinking - the Undertaker
would make a GREAT partner. I'm gonna go talk strategy."
Meanwhile, MICHAEL KING COLE stands with Chris Jericho - who would he
rather face at No Mercy - the Rock or Rob van Dam? "You know, Mitchell
Cole, the general consensus is that Y2J can't win the big match - he can't
win the big one. But the way I see it, in order to win the big one, I
have to defeat the Great One. So I hope the Rock wins his match tonight
and goes on to face Y2J at No Mercy for the WCW Championship. Now,
granted, I can't do everything that the Rock can do - I can't do a funny
trick with my one eyebrow (raises and lowers eyebrows). And I haven't
thought of a HILARIOUS pastry nickname for my genitalia - but I know, when
I stand toe to toe with the Rock, that I can beat the Rock. ...can I help
you with something?" Why, yes, the Rock has walked into the picture here.
"Can you help the Rock? Nononono, you can't help the Rock, you can NEVER
help the Rock. Oh the Rock heard, is the Rock interrupting something?
You actually think it's important, Chris Jericho? The Rock heard you come
out here runnin' your mouth - you THINK you can beat the Rock - you may
THINK you can beat the Rock, but the Rock KNOWS he can beat YOU. But you
see, Chris Jericho, the Rock said it before and he'll say it again - this
Sunday - you and the Rock - WCW title - electrifying, no question. But
you have NO IDEA. And until then, Jericho...you stay out of the Rock's
way. ...stay OUT of the Rock's way." And Rock is sure to bump his
shoulder on his way out. Jericho smiles. "This...is getting good." And
HE walks off.
UP NEXT: Rock - van Dam - WCW Championship - NEXT!
You're watching....Booker T? "The NEW! TNN"
And now, the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by Lugz! From
SmackDown!, Jericho wins his title shot at No Mercy thanks to an errant
chairshot from Austin to Rob van Dam. Word Up!
CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO joins the commentary team of LARRY KING & PAUL E.
HEYMAN to scout his future No Mercy opponent (and maybe act as a little
insurance?) ...the winner of the next match...
WCW CHAMPIONSHIP: POINTS TO SELF (with RAW Credits & transmitido en
espanol SAP & TV-14-DLV & CC) v. THE
ROCK - Feeling out process - finally, they lock up. Back and forth we
go - Rock with a side headlock. Chain wrestling to ... a side headlock.
van Dam powers out, Rock off the ropes with a shoulderblock. Off the
ropes, van Dam leapfrog - Rock with a belly-to-belly throw. Head to the
buckle. Into the corner is reversed, van Dam with a superfluous
somersault and ... Rock blocks the monkey flip and reverses, putting van
Dam on the top turnbuckle - right hand, Rock kicks him away and hits a
second-rope kick. Clothesline puts Rock outside - van Dam follows -
stomp. Head to the apron. Kick, draped over the barricade very gently
and gingerly, right hand (oh THAT'LL hold him), on the apron, points to
self - sure enough, Rock isn't there when he comes back down - van Dam
lands on his feet but Rock puts him down with a right hand. Rock back
over the barrier - walking to the commentary table - van Dam's head
bounces off it. Rock looking for a suplex - van Dam lands on his feet
AGAIN, and muscles Rock onto an announce table drop. Rolled back in - van
Dam vaults to the top - thrust kick off the top lands - 1, 2, no. OH NO
ROCK IS BLEEDING ha ha just kidding! van Dam stomp, kick, right, kick,
stomp, stomp, stomp. Knee to the throat as Rock leans against the bottom
rope. But Rock pops back up - right, right, right, whip is reversed,
roundhouse heel kick by van Dam, spinning legdrop - 1, 2, no! van Dam
with a right, stomp, picks up Rock - on second thought, he kicks him
again. Stomp. Elbow, kick, shoulder in the gut, kick in the gut, right,
right, right, right. Referee "Blind" Brian Hebner finally pulls van Dam
out of the corner - van Dam turns around and points to himself, which is
usually the signal to cue the comeback - sure enough, Rock puts van Dam in
the corner, right, right, right, right, whip is reversed - van Dam with a
shoulder in the gut, another shoulder, superfluous backflip...Rock steps
aside the third shoulder and dumps van Dam into snake eyes on the top
turnbuckle! Right, whip is reversed and van Dam pulls Rock into a
short-arm dropkick. Off the ropes with another dropkick - cover and point
to self - 2. van Dam peppers him with rights. Kick. Rock brought up -
into the corner is revrsed - elbow up by van Dam. Scooped up into a
backbreaker. Split-legged moonsault - MISSES! Both men are down and the
count is on... 4... 5... 6... Rock is up. van Dam is up - Rock with
"Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, right, right, into the ropes,
reversed, Rock flies off with the clothesline. Rock is poised - ducks a
heel kick - gutshot - DDT! 1, 2, van Dam kicks out! Again, Rock is
poised - he's got him in Rock Bottom NO, van Dam puts the knee in the gut
and Rock lets go. van Dam off the ropes - but falls into a spinebuster!
Rock crawls over...am on him - 1, 2, NO! Rock is ready to pull van Dam up
- van Dam with a legsweep! van Dam wants rolling thunder but Rock is up -
and tosses him over the top to the floor! Rock goes out after him - again
they head to the commentary table - van Dam takes the table THREE times.
NOW KISS THAT RIGHT!! Still, van Dam manages a palm strike in the gut
when Rock picks him up again. Knee, *Rock's* head into the table. Rock
rolled back in - van Dam grabs a chair to bring in with him...Hebner tries
to keep him from getting back in the ring - meanwhile, RHYNO THE MAN BEAST
is in the ring - GORE! GORE! GORE! - and now he's out. van Dam drops the
chair and agrees to go back in without it...climbing to the top for the
Fivestar to finish Rock off - but Jericho leaves and shoves van Dam off -
throating him on the top rope on the way down! Amazingly, the ref SAW
that one. (DQ 8:31) Rhyno hits the ring and starts stomping a mudhole in
the Rock - van Dam joins him. Jericho is content to watch this from the
third chair. "I'm respecting the Rock's wishes for me to stay out of his
way." van Dam hits the Rolling Thunder before the REFS manage to get
Rhyno & van Dam out of the Rock's face. Play van Dam's music 'cause he
TONIGHT: Kurt Angle & Undertaker vs. Stone Cold & Booker T!
Moments Ago - chair, gore, shove
Stephanie emotes while Rhyno watches. Trust me, I'm doing you a *favour*
by blowing this off. Oh, Rhyno has a match with Jericho tonight. Rhyno
promises that after their match, Jericho WON'T make it to No Mercy.
TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (with RAW is brought to you by whacko tobacco,
1-800-CAL-LATT, and Skittles) v. BILLY KIDMAN in a nontitle match -
Help! Help! There's a FOG in the arena and I can't SEE this match! Well
let's see what I can make out - Tazz fires up first with a forearm as
Kidman parts the ropes, forearm, into the ropes, Kidman slides under,
dropkick! Scoop...and a slam. Kidman going up top - nobody home on the
plancha - Tazz with a clothesline. T-bone Tazzplex. Head and arm
Tazzplex. Head to the buckle. Slap, slap, slap, whip out, Kidman
reverses, Tazz reverses, Kidman reverses, apparently they crack heads
(their heads didn't come within a MILE of each other) and both men are
down. Kidman up first - Kidman up top - Kidman with a Savage elbow -
Kidman gets 2. Right, right, right, Tazz pokes the eyes to turn it around
- headbutt! Kidman ducks the swing - Slop Drop - no, turned into an X
Factor. Kidman hooks the leg and laces the fingers - 1, 2, 3. And that's
all I have to say about that. (1:38)
Chris Jericho is WALKING! Thankfully, he doesn't come across Stephanie on
No Mercy ad - main event hyped
The attitude - the excitment - the souvenirs! Nothing beats the WWF live!
Tomorrow, Montreal - Saturday, Columbia - Sunday is No Mercy in St. Louis,
RAW hits Kansas City, and Tuesday in Omaha is SOLD OUT!
RHYNO THE MAN BEAST (with No Mercy @ WWF New York ad) v. CHRIS
MONDAY JERICHO in a nontitle match - Lockup, side headlock by Rhyno,
to the ropes, powered out, shoulderblock by Rhyno. Up and over, Jericho
leapfrog, but Rhyno hits the clothesline. Right, right, right, right,
kick, kick, kick, kick. Into the opposite corner, but Jericho gets the
elbow up on the charge. Second rope dropkick from Jericho. The Stroke!
1, 2, no. Another "No DirecTV" announcement. Jericho with a chop.
Chop. Kick, kick, kick, into the ropes is reversed, head down, Jericho
kicks...then falls into a spinebuster off the ropes. 1, 2, Jericho kicks
out. Give it a Subway Replay! Rhyno pulls him up - right, into the
corner, running shoulder to the gut. Snapmares him over - cover - 1, 2,
kickout! Right hand. Snapmare. Rhyno to the headlock. Crowd comes
alive for Jericho - Jericho fighting out. Elbow - elbow to the mush as
the hold is broken, chop, whip is reversed and Rhyno pulls Jericho into a
helicopter slam (!) for 2. Stomp by Rhyno. Rhyno to the second rope -
but the big splash MISSES! Referee "Blind" Nick Patrick puts on the
count. Nobody moving at 5. Jericho starting to stir at 7. Jericho
pulling himself up by the ropes before 9. Rhyno up - Jericho ducks a
swing, chop, chop, off the ropes, flying jalapeno - shoulderblock off the
ropes. Rhyno ducks the next one but Jericho catches him off the ropes
with a hiplock takeover. Lionsault - MISSES! Jericho lands on his feet -
but ends up on the wrong end of a Rhyno belly-to-belly suplex. 1, 2, NO!
Rhyno with a right, Jerich put in the ropes - but he drops down and takes
a leg with him - rollup - going for the Walls of Jericho - GOT IT!!
Before Rhyno taps, RAVEN & AWESOME MIKE AWESOME are out to doubleteam
Jericho (DQ 4:26) STEPHANIE is also out, directing traffic. Hmmm, THE
ROCK is out to make the save - THAT'S interesting. Spinebuster for Rhyno
- five rights (and a spit right) for Raven - Jericho tosses Awesome - ROCK
BOTTOM FOR JERICHO!!!! Canadian fans boo Rock, naturally, but PLAY HIS
MUSIC! Hey, that was pretty awesome, considering he's the Rock and all.
What's that, Booker? "THE *NEW*!!!!!! tnn"
Trish Stratus shills some more Stacker 2
Moments Ago, it all broke loose
Our hosts react - everybody's interested in the Rock/Jericho match NOW
Look! WWF New York!
Look! Inside is DDP! "It's ME! D D P! And tonight, D D P is in N Y C!
And that's not B A double D bad, that's G double O D good. Y? Because
the alternative would mean being stuck in Ottawa, Canada. Now normally, I
would take that negative and turn that into a positive. But I can't find
anything positive about the Canadian audience! What a TERRIBLE audience!
Because they're just like the audience here at the WWF New York...what a
TERRIBLE audience! But that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing.
Why? Because I'M not gonna let YOUR negative energy - and I'm not gonna
let YOUR negative energy - affect my positivity. Why? Because I'm D D P.
And I like me. And you're gonna like me, too. And that's not a bad thing
- that's a good thing."
He's not gonna help you like you anymore? I guess that was sending the
wrong message? (HA HA HA I just got that) Thanks, winky.
KING EDGE (with Excess ad - Edge guests!) v. X-PAC in a nontitle match -
Lockup, side headlock by X-Pac, chain wrestling to a hammerlock, double
leg takedown, floatover, slapping his head and letting him back up with a
gloaty dance. Let's go again! Lockup, Edge takes the side headlock. To
the ropes, powering out - shoulderblock by Edge. Up and over, hiptoss
blocked by Edge, X-Pac with a gutshot, leg over the neck, going for flippy
flippy but Edge upends him - X-Pac still lands on his feet, though. Edge
pulls him into a version of the armbar takedown for 2. Elbow by Edge -
elbow - arm wringer to a hammerlock...X-Pac elbow out - off the ropes,
Edge leapfrog, Edge with a Viscera to take him down. Edge off the ropes -
X-Pac steps aside and helps him over the top to the outside. X-Pac runs
the ropes - dropkick through the ropes!! Chop, chop, rolled back in -
climbing up top as we take a Subway Replay - plancha lands but Edge rolls
it over for 2! X-Pac up - heel kick quick for 2. X-Pac takes the
headlock. "YEAH!" Referee "Blind" Teddy Long leans in - Edge won't give
up - crowd bringing Edge to his feet - elbow to the gut, again, again and
it breaks - off the ropes - another spinning heel kick by X-Pac - 1, 2,
no! 'Pac unhappy with the count. Head to the buckle, kick, kick, kick,
standing on the neck...I have a feeling a broncobuster may be coming up -
NO Edge is up early and hits the SPEAR!! Both men are down. Both men up
at 3 as we take the Subway Replay - Edge ducks the clothesline, hits the
right, clothesline, into the ropes is reversed, Edge up and over,
Edge-O-Matic gets 2. Edge right hand, into the corner, X-Pac steps aside
and Edge shoulders the post. X-Pac grabs the tights and STILL only gets
2. Gutshot - off the ropes, Edge ducks, Edge flapjack as X-Pac comes off
the ropes - "come on you son of a bitch" - X-Pac with a spin kick to the
gut - wants the X Factor but Edge shoves him off - Edge with a gutshot as
he comes off the ropes - Buzzkiller (Ross: "Impaler!") hits - 1, 2, 3!
(4:25) Without a word, Ross leaves the booth and whispers something to
Edge - Edge registers shock...and runs backstage. Whaa?
No Mercy ad - Rock/Jericho hyped
The Dudley Boyz eat Chef Boyardee Big Beefaroni
When we come back, Edge is racing out. "Christian!" Christian drops
everything and braces himself. "No - listen to me. The police called -
Mom's been in an accident, we gotta go." "Why didn't they call me first?"
"Listen, this isn't aboat you! Mom's been in an accident, let's go!" "I
can't believe this." "Yeah, me neither. We can be there - we can be
there in four hours...if we hustle. Come on." Hugh Morrus, Kanyon and
Chuck Palumbo stop them in their tracks. "Hey, what's up boys? You going
somewhere?" Edge shoves them away...and while they're tied up, we watch
Christian take his briefcase to Edge's back! Christian punching away -
Edge rammed into a cement wall. Kanyon and Palumbo hold him for some more
punching. "You know something? You make me SICK! There was an accident,
Edge...twenty-seven years ago, when Mom gave birth to YOU!"
Commentators react. Heyman is so excited, he decides to stand on the
table and grab a mic. "Excuse me! Ladies and gentlemen, despite the fact
that the man is...merely a Canadian...I wanna be the first man to inform
the world that there is a NEW member of the Alliance - and ladies and
gentlemen, it is my privlige to inform you that the newest member of the
Alliance, his name is Christian!" I wonder what Lance Storm thinks about
Backstage, Undertaker adjusts his gloves, then knocks on Angle's door.
"Angle, come on, man, let's go!" Angle is out...in 'do-rag and shades.
YIKES. "What? You're an American Badass...I'm an Olympic Gold
Medal--ass. Stone Cold and Booker T together make a horse's ass - I mean,
what's the problem?" Taker clears his throat. "No problem, Kurt, I tell
you what. Let's just go to the ring...and let's KICK some ass!" "All
right." "You are gonna take that off, right?" "Well, I wasn't going to,
but I'm flexible."
UP NEXT: Angle & Taker vs. Austin & T!
NAPPY T and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN (with Subway presents No Mercy Sunday!
Subway: Eat Jared) v. TAKER
and KURT ANGLE - Austin tries to take a hike, but finds himself with Angle
in front of him...and Taker behind him - soupbone, soupbone, soupbone,
soupbone! Angle runs T into the barricade and stomps away. T in the ring
- but he DOES manage to put a double axehandle in the small of Angle's
back as HE tries to get in the ring. Let's ring the bell. Pound, pound,
pound, pound, stomp, everybody up, elbow, into the ropes, Angle ducks a
clothesline, Angle with the flying jalapeno to turn it around. Right by
Angle, right, chop, chop, chop, into the opposite corner...but T gets the
boot up. But T runs into a belly-to-belly overhead suplex! Tag to Taker
- held open for the soupbone shot to the body. Head to the buckle. Back
elbow, soupbone, kick, into the opposite corner, but T gets the elbow up.
T with a clothesline - and a tag to Austin. Right hand by Austin, right,
right, Taker soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, into the ropes is
reversed - Austin press! From the mount, Austin delivers eight rapid
rights - off the ropes for the up yours elbow - NO he keeps going off the
opposite ropes, a THIRD time off the ropes - Taker catches him in a choke
instead!! But before he can deliver, they're in the unfriendly corner and
T grabs Taker by the hair. Tag to T. Austin kicks away as T comes in -
HE get to kicking as Angle sneaks in a clothesline on Austin before he
rolls out and referee "Blind" Tim White is left to put Angle back in his
corner. Taker into the ropes, reversal, head down, kick by T, gutshot,
off the ropes, AXE KICK!! T down to one knee - he's feeling it - HE
BREAKDANCES BACK UP! But it took too long - REAPER LARIAT!! 1, 2, T
kicks out! Taker laces the knuckles - one-armed press above his head (MAN
Taker is awesome) - T back to his feet, though, so Taker unleashes a
vertical suplex again. 1, 2, T kicks out. Tag to Angle - held open for a
kick to the gut. Angle right, right, into the ropes, back elbow.
Angle's bleeding AGAIN - a trickle underneath his right eye as he gives
Austin a look. Snap suplex for T - 1, 2, no. Right hand. Into the ropes
is reversed...and T helps Angle sail over the top rope to the floor.
Austin quickly makes his way down to Angle and rams his head into the
STEEL steps - twice. Taker runs around the ring but White blocks his way
- Austin still hotfoots it INTO the ring, just in case, though. Austin
back out - boot to the head - rolled back in for the Book. Book with an
arm wringer, back heel kick - 1, 2, no. Tag to Austin. Open kick to the
gut. Head to the buckle. Chop by Austin - chop, chop, chop, into the
ropes is reversed, Angle with the sleeper!! Austin manages a jawbreaker
to stop THAT. Tag to T. Right hand. T winds up the chop - and unloads.
Another big chop. A THIRD chop from the Bookerman. Right - Angle comes
back! Right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversal, Angle ducks
the clothesline, but T lands a flying forearm smash! Cover, leg hooked,
2! Tag to Austin. Stomp by Austin, stomp, Austin stands on the neck for
4. Into the ropes, Austin with a back elbow. 1, 2, Angle kicks out!
Austin goes to the headlock. Taker is pacing like a caged animal and the
crowd is going nuts. Angle to his feet - elbow, elbow, hold is broken,
right, Austin right, Angle, Austin, Angle, Angle, Angle, off the ropes,
Austin's swing ducked, Angle ducks again, Angle crossbody block - 2!
Austin KICK WHAM is caught! But before Angle can transition to the
Anglelock, T is in and putting Angle down with a big kick. Austin's up
first - KICK WHAM NOOO Angle shoves Austin to the friendly corner and
Taker pops him with a soupbone! Right by Angle! Austin pinballing into
another soupbone - Angle right, right, right, into the ropes, ohhhh double
clothesline. Maybe Angle should have tagged out. White starts the count
and the crowd is chomping at the bit for a tag to the Dead Man.
Everybody up by 8...Angle reaching but Austin has his ankle - Angle lunges
- MAKES THE TAG!! Undertaker *vaults over the top rope* - soupbone!
Soupbone! Soupbone for T! Soupbone for T, running across the ring to
clothesline Austin, back to the opposite corner to clothesline T,
clothesline for Austin, soupbone for T, pulling him out - T tries the
reversal, but Taker reverses back....ohhhhh T runs right into Tim White.
Taker with a clothesline to the back of T and he runs into White AGAIN on
the way down. White falls out of the ring as Austin shoves Angle off the
apron. Taker puts T in the corner - got him in the choke, but Austin lays
into him from behind and breaks it up - right, into the ropes, Taker
ducks, flying clothesline by Taker! Clothesline puts Austin out. Taker
ducks an oncoming Harlem sidekick - gutshot - Last Ride coming up - NOOOOO
- TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST is in with a chop block, DAMMIT. Test gets ten
punches in before Angle comes in to make the save - T from behind - Angle
is punching HIM down - Angle turns back...right into the path of the
Wotsitolla Boot. Test puts Taker through the ropes to the outside...and
follows. Forearm in the back, stomp, stomp, T joining him in the
beatdown...the crowd gets loud, which probably means KANE is out - and
there he is - Test meets him on the outside - Kane with
"Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, right, right and Test goes over
the barricade - Kane follows. In a different section, T and Taker are
over the barricade and out - leaving Austin in the ring to use his
championship belt to WHACK Angle one. Austin outside to try to wake up
White...he's still out cold. CHARLES ROBINSON is out - Austin hooks a leg
- 1, 2, NO!!! Austin is incensed - and he DECKS Robinson one! Angle
tries to grab a waistlock on Austin - but Austin's trick knee acts up!
Austin moving to pick up Angle - HE gives AUSTIN an uppernut! ROB VAN DAM
is out...who is he aiming for? Fivestar frogsplash - hits Angle! NICK
PATRICK is down to ringside just in time - Austin covers - 1, 2, 3.
(11:02) Austin gives van Dam a wide-eyed stare...looks back at
Angle...looks at van Dam...he's got saucer eyes. RAW Zone credits are up,
WWF log is up, and our time is up. We'll see you Thursday.