QUICK QUOTE: Hey, they changed the ticker - WWE 14 (+ .45, last year:
14.01, two years ago: 20 1/4)
TONIGHT: The Undisputed title will be decided in a ladder match! The
title already hangs high above the ring - who will climb the ladder and
take the title, The Undertaker or Jeff Hardy? Come back in fifteen and
find out!
T(O)N(I)G(HT): Whoa, "Encounter at Farpoint I?" Heeeeeeey I think I can
probably stop doing these! (RIP Trek Gimmick - 8 Oct 2001 - 2 Jul 2002)
TV-14-DLV - CC - Attitude - Entertainment - WW!
"Highlights" of last week. "Ruthless Aggression" count: 5
Opening Credits - yeah you refuse to see the change in me WHY WON'T YOU
WAKE UP
CREEPYRO - coming to you LIVE from the Verizon Wireless Arena in
Manchester, NH 1.7.2 and transmitido en espanol SAP ("Escuches? BIEN")
and Ross just can't WAIT to say "ruthless aggression" because he knows how
much I HATE IT
TONIGHT: An Undisputed Ladder match!
The title already hangs high above the ring, but first...
KING BROCK LESNAR & IT'S ALL ABOUT PAUL hit the ring as we take a look at
our hosts, LARRY & JERRY. Tonight, the NWO takes on Goldust & Booker T,
Chris Benoit returns to action on the wrong show, and Heyman talks! "Now
I told you people a few weeks ago...that this would be the summer of the
Next Big Thing, Brock Lesnar! Yet everywhere we go, Brock, all people say
is that this will be the summer of Points to Self. Rob van Dam doesn't
have the ruthless aggression (7) to make this his summer! But Brock
Lesnar will take control of this summer all the way through SummerSlam
when Brock Lesnar becomes the Undisputed WWE Champion. Besides having
ruthless aggression (8), Brock Lesnar also has intelligence. And Brock
Lesnar has the intelligence to be inspired by other men - other men like
Kurt Angle - another former NCAA Champion, who on SmackDown! issued a
challenge for any rookie to come down the aisle and have his first match
against Kurt Angle. But Brock Lesnar can not only beat any man, Brock
Lesnar can outdo any man. So Brock Lesnar has a challenge of a different
sort - a better challenge than Kurt Angle (who Brock Lesnar can beat) -
Brock Lesnar's challenge is to any veteran in the back that has the guts
to walk down the aisle, step into this ring tonight, and be able to tell
his grandchildren that that veteran was sent into early retirement by the
Next Big Thing, Brock Lesnar. WHO GOT THE GUTS?" Man, Lesnar can't seem
to stop doing his own personal happy dance, can he? "Are you telling me
that not one veteran has the ruthless aggression (9) - Brock issued this
challenge at one o'clock in the afternoon - signs were posted on the wall
- he--" The interruption is by...wait for it...
RIC FLAIR v. BROCK LESNAR - Woooo! In case you're wondering where Rob van
Dam is, Ross tells us that he had a promotional appearance in New York and
isn't here yet. Flair IS here, but I don't see a referee. Looks like
Heyman is holding back his man. Flair takes the mic. "First of all,
don't think for one second of your life that I have forgotten about the
interference between the match between me and McMahon that cost me RAW -
cost me ownership - I haven't forgotten. You standin' out here, callin'
for a veteran to retire - I'm a veteran, but bigger and badder than that,
I'm a legend. And tonight, big boy, you gonna find out why woooo! I'm the
dirtiest player in the game." Lesnar stands eye to eye...and pulls on the
mic, still in Flair's hand. "You're in the wrong place...the wrong
year...with the wrong guy." He fails to add "I will break you," so that's
a bit of a personal disappointment. EARL HEBNER hits the ring and we're
on! Lesnar's STILL doing his own personal happy dance! Flair tests the
ropes. They stand toe to toe - lots of words, not much movement - NOW
they lock up - side headlock by Flair - Lesnar lifts him up, shoves him
into the ropes, and connects with a shoulderblock, sending him to the mat.
Flair up - lockup - Lesnar shoves him away to boos. Lesnar grabs a
knucklelock, and Flair screams. Flair shoves him to the corner - chop!
Flair goes into a strut. Lesnar is a little less than pleased, feeling
his chest where Flair had chopped him. Woooo! Lockup, Lesnar barrels him
to the corner - Hebner wants a clean break - Lesnar swings and Flair ducks
- chop! Chop! Chop! Into the opposite corner, and another chop as
Lesnar comes out. Into the ropes is reversed - Lesnar with a HUGE
powerslam and Flair suddenly ain't so mobile. Lesnar tries the elbowdrop
but Flair rolls out of the ring. The chase is on - Flair back in - Lesnar
on the apron - Flair with a hot shot - ohhhh no sale - you can't hurt a
man with NO NECK with THAT! Lesnar parts the ropes and slowly advances.
So Flair goes to the eye! Snapmares him over - Flair off the ropes -
classic kneedrop from the veteran - 1, 2, kickout and Flair is pressed
OVER Hebner. Lesnar with a clothesline to take over. Stomp, stomp,
stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. "C'mon, Nature!" Into the corner - Lesnar
follows with a clothesline. FLAIR FLOP! Lesnar brings him up - into the
corner, scooped up out - raised high and dropped into the backbreaker -
HELD on for a double. Flair rolls outside and his back hurts. Lesnar
outside with a kick to the ribs, right, Hebner arguing with Lesnar
oblivious - Flair chop, Lesnar right, Flair chop, Flair whips Lesnar into
the post - Lesnar rolls back in and Flair folows - Lesnar goes downstairs
with a right to the abdomen. Flair sent into the corner - nobody home on
the charge and Lesnar shoudlers the post! Flair with another chop!
Chop! Subway Replay of the shoulder as Flair chops again! Flair tries a
shoulderblock but runs into the wall - tries again but ends up caught in
the big, big bearhug. Crowd tries to bring Flair out of it - Flair clasps
his hands and tries the back elbow to the head - again - a third - and now
the bell clap - another - one more bell clap breaks it - big chop! Right
hand, chop, into the ropes, Lesnar reverses - Flair ducks the swing -
big'n'tall spinebuster puts Flair down. Flair to his knees, begging off -
Lesnar moves in - two hands on the neck - Hebner leans in to break the
choke and Flair lands an uppernut! Heyman is livid, but only manages to
draw Hebner over for an argument, causing him to ALSO miss Flair's trick
knee acting up! Flair with a death suplex!! 1, 2, but AGAIN Lesnar kicks
out with authority and Flair gets air on the wrong side of the press.
Flair tries the chop block. Woooo! Got the leg - "Nowwww!" FIGURE
FOUR!! Heyman is up on the apron again and screaming with wild
gesticulation - but Lesnar has little problem grabbing the bottom rope.
Flair finds Heyman, giving him a free shot - ohhh that was just enough
time for Lesnar to scoop him up and give him the Move With A Stupid Name -
1, 2, 3. (7:00) Lesnar is still feeling the low blows but he'll let
Heyman raise his arm. Give the F5 a replay. Heyman and Lesnar gives
Flair a "woooo!"
And now, the WWE Rewind, presented by 1-800-CAL-LATT! From last week,
Trish gives Molly the Stratusfaction to take the duke in their tag match
JONATHAN COACHMAN catches up with Jackie Gayda as she gets made up - then
hits on her. HE'S GOT JUNGLE FEVER "Well, I was a little disappointed
that Torrie walked away with the Golden Thong award, but in reality, I
didn't lose the competition - I just didn't win." "Well, in reality, this
hasn't been one of your best weeks - I mean, with you and your partner's
loss to Trish Stratus and Linda Miles a week ago on RAW." "Well, in
reality, I was not the one to lose that match, it was my tag team partner,
Molly Holly, not me." Here's Molly. "In reality, if you spent less time
parading around in your... undergarments, and more time paying attention
to a role model - like me, you would be a better competitor." "Well, in
reality, unlike you, at least I look good in my underwear." So Molly
slaps her one, throws her into the makeup case...WOW Jackie is a terrible,
terrible actress...
...and now they're out alongside the stage - Molly with the axehandle and
forearms in the back. Molly removes a metal piece from the barricade and
swings - Jackie ducks - gutshot - and hard into the ramp! Jackie grabs
the pipe - and misses again - so klangy - Molly grabs the pipe and applies
the choke, walking her down to the ringside area as we take a Subway
replay of the whip into the stage. Molly with elbows to the back of the
head - snap suplex on the floor. Into the ring - Molly rakes the face,
backbreaker, now going up top - missile dropkick! And one more slap.
Molly leaves the ring and now TRISH STRATUS, THE FITNESS MODEL is out -
spinning her around, elbow, into the apron, in the ring - Molly swings and
misses, Trish depants her and reveals what Lawler calls "granny panties."
Play Trish's music! Here's a replay - well, shoot, I'm confused - those
look like ol' wrestling attire to me and her ass ain't even all that big!
TERRI stands backstage with Christopher Nowinski - tonight, he'll be
taking on Bradshaw in a "straight up wrestling match." Nobody mentions
that Nowinski pinned Bradshaw LAST week and thus should be the hardcore
champion anyway, of course. Terri asks why he doesn't go for the hardcore
championship tonight? "I think it's pretty obvious, but I'll explain it
so you and everyone else can understand. Why would I EVER want the
hardcore title? So I can be constantly looking over my shoulder
twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, worrying about trashcans and
street signs and 2x4's? No, thank you. I prefer to compete in a more
civilised manner. I prefer to compete in the way we were taught to at
Harvard - like a gentlemen. I prefer an environment where the most
dangeous weapon is not a table or a chair, but...intelligence."
It's the WWE live! Catch the SmackDown! crew tomorrow in Boston, Saturday
in Mobile, Sunday in Savannah, Monday in Salisbury and Tuesday in Atlantic
City!
CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI (Harvard - 260 pounds - with Let Us Take You back to
Last Week) v. BRADSHAW (hardcore champion - Sweetwater, Tejas - 292
pounds) in a nontitle matchup
referee: CHARLES ROBINSON
Lawler
displays Nowinski's class ring - say, do you believe he's a real live
Harvard graduate yet? You know, maybe instead of explaining *over and
over* how Nowinski is a Harvard graduate, perhaps they could explain to me
JUST ONE TIME how Nowinski can pin Bradshaw last week and NOT win the damn
hardcore title. Bradshaw carries the bullrope and hat - big boot from the
git-go. Overhand clubberin', again, again, into the ropes, shoulderblock.
Bradshaw outside and looking for illegal plundah - trashcan, stop sign,
chair, chair, bullrope - Robinson is unhappy, and *does* manage to pull
away the bullrope - Nowinski tries to sneak it in, but runs into yet
another big boot. Bradshaw grabs a chair and Robinson starts tugging with
him again - behind his back, Nowinski rings his bell with the cowbell -
cover, 1, 2, 3. (0:57) Wow, Bradshaw, REALLY wanted to kick out there -
he must be a big fan of this storyline.
Regal's pleased with what he's seen. "Wonderful. Bloody marvelous."
Rob van Dam enters, shouting for "Brock Lesnar! Hey - tell me where I can
find Brock and Paul Heyman. I know this is their dressing room." "Yes it
is, dear boy, but I'm afraid you won't find them here. Mr. Heyman is with
Mr. Lesnar, who is cooling down after his victory over Ric Flair earlier
this evening." "So he's already competed." "I'm afraid so, but if you
got here on time you might know these things." "Oh ho, dude, don't even
mess with me today." "No! Don't you mess with me, sunshine. I'm not the
one barging into other people's locker rooms, in a tizzy, looking for a
fight! THAT was rude! You apologise." "Hmmm...you know, you're right.
I *did* barge in here looking for a fight. Since I obviously can't get a
hold of Brock Lesnar tonight, I'm gonna have to find someone else to
fight. Hmm...someone like...maybe...you?" "Ah, a challenge. How
wonderful. Consider it accepted. I'll go and get changed straight away.
I look forward to it. One champion against another." "Cool. Oh, and
Regal - I won't be apologising for barging in here - just like I won't be
apologising after you're beat 1, 2, 3...courtesy of P - T - S." Regal
makes a face!
"WrestleMania X8" for the Nintendo GameCube ad
Hey it's the WWE Slam of the Week, brought to you by "Eight Legged Freaks"
- from RAW last Monday, Jeff Hardy lays out the challenge - and Undertaker
accepts! OOOH what a SLAM - in fact, Slam of the Week! (Huh?)
Terri stands backstage with Jeff Hardy. He's the heavy underdog...
"Whoa, whoa, underdog? That's a little steep. This isn't a normal match,
Terri - this isn't a regular match. Tonight, I don't have to pin Taker -
tonight I don't have to make the Undertaker submit. This is a ladder
match - A LADDER MATCH! It's about climbing! Taker can't climb!" and he
runs off and scales the nearby set - then leaps off. "I'll take down the
set, I'll take down the Undertaker. All I have to do - all that stands
between me and the WWE Undisputed match is this ladder, and I've been in
TONS of ladder matches, Taker's been in none. So therefore, I am the next
WWE Champion. There's a saying here in New Hampshire - Live Free or Die -
I'm livin' for the moment - I'm not dyin' tonight!"
Meanwhile, Booker T warms up. "Man, tell me you not dressed like that.
Man put that thing away before you put somebody eye out with it. Who you
supposed to be tonight?" Pan right to see Goldust - dressed as Darth
Vader - and breathing Vader style - with Goldust inhale. "Booker - the
force is strong with you - but you are not a Jedi yet." "Look man, I
don't know what the hell you talkin' about, but I ain't no Star Wars geek.
I ain't never watched the movie, and I never will." "Booker, it's not
about that. It's about last week, and our splendid plan. It's about me
concocting yet another marvelous plan tonight. If you will only go over
there, relax, get your mack on and get ready, I will be back." "Let me
see that." T plays with the light saber. "Zzzzt - zzt zzt - I'm about to
get medieval, man - Obi Book Kenobi, it don't matter whether you a
Stormtrooper or the NWO, your ass is about to get waxed by the five-time
Master Jedi champion - now can u dig that...suckaaaaaaaaaaa?" He
telescopes the saber and hands it back to Goldust. "Take care of yo'
business, man." Goldust looks at his hand.
Meanwhile (3), Eddie Guerrero jumps up and down in his handshake with
Vince McMahon. "Just before your match, now calm down already. I wanna
emphatically state that look, I've gotta keep these matches separate, and
you know that. I've made an exception for you. I want SmackDown! over
here I want RAW over here, I like competition - and I know you do as well.
As a matter of fact, you know what ruthless aggression (10) is all about,
Eddie Guerrero, so ah, tell me, in Spanish, do the translation for me,
ruthless aggression (11), what is that?" "Padrone - boss, you asking me
what the translation is? It's Eddie Guerrero, that's what that is." "Of
course it is, and it's Chris Benoit - yeah. That's who it is. You have
been out of the ring for over a year, Chris Benoit, I'm glad I'm not gonna
be one of your opponents tonight, but now that you're the property of RAW,
I gotta make it up to the SmackDown! guys somehow. But I wanna know...you
realise you owe me, right?" "And I will - WE will - pay you back tonight
tenfold, out there in the ring." "Well, let me see. Let me see some
ruthless aggression (12) out there!"
Neurotica ad - no mention of the WWE connection - we call this "creative
bookkeeping"
ROB VAN DAM (intercontinental champion - Battle Creek, Michigan - 235
pounds - with Boston hype - and RAW is brought to you by M&M's, Honda, and
Slim Jim!) v. WILLIAM REGAL (European champion - Blackpool, England - 240
pounds) in a nontitle match
referee: CHAD PATTON
Lockup, side
headlock by Regal, van Dam powers out, Regal with a shoulderblock,
elbowdrop, 1, no. European uppercut. Into the corner, van Dam up and
over, backflips back, catches the kick, tries the stepover heel kick but
Regal grabs a full nelson - almost a DRAGON SUPLEX! but muscling him over
with more of a uranage out of the hold - van Dam still folds himself up,
then rolls outside. Regal follows. Stomp. Into the ropes and bounced
off to the floor. Subway replay of the takeover. Into the steps. On the
apron - Regal slams him across the apron. Back inside and the "RVD" chant
is loud. Regal with a running knee to the head (which I am now supposed
to call a "shining wizard" for the sake of my nonexistent street cred) -
Regal to the cover - 1, 2, NO! Another cover - another 2. One more cover
- one more 2 for Regal. Regal with a left knee, a right knee, and both
knees. "RVD" chant continues and Regal disdains it. Into the opposite
corner - European uppercut by Regal. Snapmares him over, drops the knee
on the face, another forearm across the face as Patton counts 1, 2, no.
van Dam manages a small package for 2, but Regal hits a drop toehold,
floating into the STF! van Dam won't submit, though, so Regal lets him
go. van Dam with a gutshot - another - Regal with a knee, elbow, into the
corner is reversed but Regal stops himself - but then runs into a monkey
flip by van Dam! van Dam catches fire - elbow, elbow, elbow, kick, elbow,
into the corner, shoulder to the gut, shoulder, superfluous backflip,
Regal tries to swing out but van Dam ducks, springboard crossbody from the
second rope - 1, 2, no! Knee - jumping spin kick, off the ropes with
Rolling Thunder, 1, 2, no! van Dam with a kick - Regal reverse the whip
attempt into a double underhook, but van Dam hangs on and reverses into a
"modified backdrop!" van Dam to the top - Fivestar frog splash! Just
like that, 1, 2, 3. (3:49) Replay of the Fivestar. But we're not done
yet - van Dam has THE STICK: "Hey, Brock! Brock Lesnar! I see you've
got a victory tonight - well I had a victory too. Why don't we settle our
differences right here tonight?" Crowd chants "RVD" until KING BROCK
LESNAR & IT'S ALL ABOUT PAUL reappear. Heyman holds his man back once
again. "You know, that's what I've always liked about you, Robbie - you
got guts - more guts than brains, but ya got guts. That's the only reason
why, RVD, I'm gonna do you this one favour. I have advised my client (the
Next Big Thing, Brock Lesnar) NOT to come down to the ring and take you
out tonight. However, I propose that we do this on a ah, (makes "money"
finger rub) grander scale - I say RVD versus Brock Lesnar, three weeks
from now at Vengeance - if - IF you got the guts!" "So we'll do it at
Vengeance - that's cool with me. You know, a lot of competitors, they
don't think they can beat you, Brock, well I'm not one of those guys.
You may BE the Next Big Thing, but me - I'm POINTS TO SELF." Keep it
under your hats, guys, but I think they may have made Heyman an "agent"
just so Ross can make "shooty" comments about "agents." (I am pointing to
the side of my nose in knowing fashion here)
UP NEXT: BENOIT IS BACK
Check out the Verizon Wireless Arena - Can you hear me now? GOOOOD
TONIGHT: Goldust & Booker T vs. Big Show & X-Pac! But first...
BUBBA RAY & SPIKE DUDLEY (Dudleyville - 475 pounds - with Let Us Take You
Back to Last Week) v. EDDIE GUERRERO (El Paso, Texas - 228 pounds - with
RAW in Philadelphia hype) and CHRIS BENOIT (Edmonton, Alberta - 229 pounds
- with RAW credits & transmitido en espanol SAP & TV-14-DLV & CC
boxes)
referee: NICK PATRICK
Last week, Eddie took this trip
through the table courtesy Bubba Ray Dudley after winning their singles
match - then Benoit came out and put on a Crippler Crossface. That leads
to this...well...sure. Chris Benoit's last appearance was in the Triple
Threat match between himself, Chris Jericho and Steve Austin at least
year's King of the Ring (24.6.1) so *really* it's been a year and a week,
but let's not quibble - we got us a match here! Patrick manages to
convince half the competitors to go outside to the apron - we start with
Spike and Guerrero. Waistlock, gobehind by Guerrero, snapmares him over,
foot on the face and gives it a spin, kick, elbow, elbow, right, right,
right, death suplex. Into the ropes, reversed, Dudley with an atomic drop
- and a dropkick. Neckbreaker. "We want tables!" Spike covers - 1, 2,
no. Tag to Bubba Ray - right hand by Bubba Ray, left, right, right,
right, right, right, into the ropes, pressed but Guerrero dropkicks out -
Guerrero right, right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, Dudley
with an avalanche and Guerrero slumps down. One footed monkey flip by
Dudley - scoop...and a slam, elbowdrop, elbowdrop, double sledge to the
chest, hooks the leg, 1, 2, Guerrero kicks out! Right hand by Dudley,
right, into the ropes, Guerrero goes back to back over him and fails to
land on his feet, but does a Conquistador roll to his corner and makes the
tag. BENOIT IS IN AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD SMARK SMARK SMARK SMARK
SMARK SMARK SMARK SMARK okay I'm better now - let's see him go. Lockup,
Dudley takes him to the corner - and doesn't let go right away. BIG slap
to the chest by Dudley! He goes for a second, but Benoit slips out of the
corner - kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, chop, right,
stomp, stomp, stomp. Hard whip into the opposite corner. Snap elbowdrop.
Short clothesline. Benoit covers - 1, 2, no. Dudley manages a sidewalk
slam to turn it back his way - 1, 2, no. Subway replay of the short
clothesline. Right by Dudley, into the ropes, attempted reversal by
Benoit, Dudley tries a clothesline and THAT'S ducked, Benoit grabs the
waistlock and hits a German suplex!! Give THAT a Subway replay! Into the
ropes, head down, forearm in the back by Dudley, hangman's neckbreaker,
makes the tag. Spike hooks a leg for 2. Forearm in the back, forearm to
the face, whip is reversed into a gutshot by Benoit, into the corner and
Spike stops himself - then sneaks a rollup on Benoit for 2! Bulldog gets
2. Benoit breaks it up and goes back to work with a chop - another chop -
backbreaker across the knee - 1, 2, no. Subway replay gives another angle
(with slomo) of the German suplex on Bubba Ray. Benoit tries a suplex but
Spike goes down the back and rolls up Benoit for 2 - Benoit kicks him out
to his corner, where Guerrero ends up taking a free shot from Spike - but
on his way back, Benoit hooks the punch and clamps on the Crippler
crossface! Bubba Ray wastes no time breaking that up - then, while
Patrick tries to get him back to his conrer, Guerrero comes in without a
tag and starts stomping away - Benoit helps, on his way out. Guerrero
with a right hand. Right. Into the ropes, big back elbow. Kicks him in
the back, tag to Benoit. Right by Guerrero, right, right, right, Benoit
kick, right, right, Guerrero with one more kick before Patrick can get him
back to his corner. Benoit with a side suplex. Stomps the back of the
head. Spike rammed shoulder first into the ringpost. Tag to Guerrero -
right, right, right, and again the shoulder meets the ringpost. Right by
Guerrero - Guerrero spits at Bubba Ray, bringing him in and turning
Patrick's back. Benoit with an apron run, taking Spike's head to the
adjacent turnbuckle - now holding him for Guerrero's dropkick - but Spike
ducks out and *Benoit* takes the brunt! Benoit falls to the floor.
Spike with the Dudley 'dog! But now both men are down. Bubba Ray leads
the crowd in clapping and they're chomping at the bit for a tag to the big
man. HE MAKES THE TAG! Clothesline on Guerrero! Clothesline! Whip,
reversal attempted, gutshot by Dudley - "c'mere orale!" - POWERBOMB - but
Benoit is *finally* up and breaks it up at 2. Benoit tries a whip -
Dudley reverses - HE lands a death suplex and Benoit rolls outside. Back
to Guerrero - left, left, left, flip flop and orale elbow - Benoit's right
blocked, Dudley gives him a hot shot and AGAIN Benoit goes down after a
shot targeting the neck! Patrick works on getting Benoit back to his
corner - but behind his back, Dudley has Guerrero in position for "What
Are You Doing?" from Spike! Spike - get the table. Spike dutifully goes
outside and sets the table up on the floor. But Benoit meets him on the
outside with forearms in the back. Meanwhile, IN the ring, Guerrero has a
lucha knucklelock on Bubba Ray - kick, kick, kick, running to the corner
and springing off with a huracanrana!! Guerrero wants the frog splash -
but MISSES!! Benoit up - Dudley clotheslines him off the apron -
BUBBABOMB on Guerrero - 1, 2, 3!! DUDLEYS WIN! WELCOME BACK, BENOIT!
(9:26) But Benoit isn't done - ANOTHER German suplex on Bubba Ray!
Spike hits the ring - he wants the Dudley 'dog - but Benoit doesn't want
him to feel like he's wasted that table he's set up, so he throws him off
the top to the floor through the table. Crippler crossface for Bubba Ray
- Guerrero adds a frog splash to his butt. More REFS hit the ring but
can't manage to get Benoit's hands unclasped. In fact, all they manage to
do is slip his hands into a bona-fide choke around Dudley's neck. Play
Benoit's music 'cause he LOST! Here's a replay of Spike's trip through
the table - and Guerrero's frog splash. Wow, it was all Ross could do to
keep from saying "Five star" so I gotta give him props for catching
himself in time. "Ruthless aggression" count: 5
HE'S COMING - I missed this in last week's RAW report, so maybe I better
say it twice here to make up for it - HE'S COMING - okay
Darth Vader is WALKING! He catches up with Big Show. "Oh, there's the
freak. Let me ask you a question, freak. What was that crap last week
about me bein' a Showpopotamus? About me smelling like a kangaroo crotch
sack? What you tryin' to get at, you say I smell?" "Big Show, the NWO
never told you, did they, what happened to your father?" "My father?"
"That's right." "Man, don't you know my father's dead?" "Here, hold
this." He hands the Darth Vader helmet to Show. "Big Show - *I* am your
father." "What?" And he brains him with his (plastic) light saber.
Goldust turns back to find himself bumping chests with Kevin Nash.
"Yeah, I'm your DADDY" and he clocks him. Show rams him into - OH NO NOT
INTO THE KLANGY POLES Nash grabs one and jabs him - well, comes close to
jabbing him several times anyway. Nash turns to Show. "That's one down -
you got one left. Same as last week, go out there and get the job done,
or we're comin' out and kickin' your ass. Got it?" "X-Pac!!!"
Commentators ponder the ramifications. "Ruthless aggression" count: 1
TONIGHT: Undertaker - Jeff Hardy - ladder - title
We take another look at the title belt hanging high above the ring. Hey,
how come nobody has looked up at it tonight when they've been in the ring?
I mean, shouldn't we at least have gotten Paul & Brock glancing and
pointing to the title *once* or something? I mean, if the title's as big
as they want us to BELIEVE it is....eh, must be a lack of thoughtful
writing
Here's a Special Video Look at Jeff Hardy - including lots of clips
involving ladders
Backstage, Terri asks Undertaker for his thoughts. "Well, I tell you
what, I'll get to Jeff Hardy in just a minute. You see, right now I wanna
talk about Kurt Angle. See, Kurt Angle thinks he's somebody because he
made Hulk Hogan tap. Well I ain't Hulk Hogan and I don't tap. So, Kurt,
if that's what your plan is for Thursday night, you better come up with a
Plan B because that one ain't gonna work, boy - and when I finish off Kurt
Angle...well then I'm gonna move on to the Rock. You see, I'm gonna make
The Rock regret the day he EVER stuck his nose in my match at King of the
Ring." "But aren't you even concerned tonight with Jeff Hardy? You've
never even been in a ladder match before." "What's your point?" "Well,
I'm just saying that--" "Nonono - I think this interview's over." Ross
says "Undertaker's not that confident!" Funny - I was thinking the exact
opposite.
"WrestleMania X8" ad
Coming bakc, Show finds X-Pac on top of a broken table and underneath a
chair - well NOW he's pissed! In fact, he's SO pissed that he runs off
bleeped, instead of bothering to ask the cameraman if he'd seen who did
this!
BOOKER T. (Houston, Texas - 256 pounds - with Subway presents Vengeance!)
v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW (Tampa, Florida - 500 pounds)
referee:
Robinson
They've tried again to instill "Well, well it's the Big Show"
into the NWO them and again I'll defer to you on the relative success of
that move. T gets first shot while Show Diesels over the top rope -
right, right, right, but Show puts him in the corner and gives him a big
slap. Well it's the big beal all the way across the ring. T ducks the
clothesline, right, right, right, right, right, whip is reversed into a
short clothesline and T does the triple spin. Show is large and in charge
- well it's the big delayed suplex. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no. Into the
ropes - well it's the big bearhug. Robinson grabs the arm - arm falls
once - arm falls twice - arm is consulted. T shakes his head and starts
throwing punches - five gets him out. T ducks the clothesline - Harlem
sidekick!! T with a right hand, but Show reverses into a sidewalk slam.
1, 2, no! Show is bleeped again - what a filthy mouth! Show lunges at T,
but he drops down, lowering the bridge and taking Show to the floor! T
out after him - forearm in the back - whip is reversed and T hits the
barricade. Well it's the big forearm smash. Show grabs the top half of
the STEEL steps with ease and advances on T - T lands a superkick and Show
falls backwards with the steps across his head! T tries to bring Show
back into the ring, but he's dead weight. T gives us nuts to that and
heads back in the ring. Robinson dutifully makes one of the more rapid
ten counts in recent history and hot dog, we have a wiener. (COR 3:25)
T does the celebratory breakdance to the crowd's delight. He thinks about
going back up the ramp, thinks better, then goes out through the crowd.
Kevin Nash & Shawn Michaels are WALKING! "Because he did NOT live up to
his end of the bargain does not mean WE won't!" "I am KNOCKIN' him out!"
Looks like they'll be punishing Big Show when we'll be right back
Coming back live, BIG & TALL and MR. WHYSPYR have hit the ring, where Show
is back to his feet. Show and Nash stand nose to nose...Nash with a right
hand to the jaw - Show is unhappy about this, and pops HIM one. Before it
escalates, Michaels stands between them. "Whoa whoa whoa! Whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa - Kevin, Kev, take it easy. Big Show, back off.
Come on - enough of this tough love crap! It is not each other we wanna
destroy, it's Booker T, and believe me, he knows it! That's why he ran
outta here, hellbent. That's why he's headed south right now, back to
Boston. Booker T, we know it was you that took out X-Pac, and come next
week, the NWO is gonna take YOU out. Now, I need you two animals...calm
down. I gotta big, BIG announcement to make. The NWO is a family. Now,
believe me, I'll admit it, we are somewhat of a dysfunctional family, but
we are a family, nonetheless. Like all families, we're not the same when
one of our family members is missing, and right now, one of our family
members is injured. Now I know what you're thinking, but I can assure
you, it's not X-Pac. No, this family member is sitting comfortably at
home - recuperating. In fact, I can assure you, he's sittin' there
watching us right this minute. Now, those of you that saw King of the
Ring, you know who I'm talkin' about...you saw it, you felt it, you felt
that electricity - you felt that undeniable chemistry - when we all came
together. That's why...in the very, VERY near future - right here In This
Very Ring, you will see standing alongside X-Pac, Big Show, Kevin Nash,
and yours truly, HBK Shawn Michaels, none other than the newest member of
the New World Order....we're good, but we're gonna be better - HE's good,
but he's gonna be better - because it will be, no one other...than Triple
H! Now....now, you two...let's finish this. Kiss and make up." Nash
rubs his hands on his jeans and offers it - Show shakes it - then leans in
so Michaels can superkick him. Wow, that was bad. Michaels and Nash
share a secret handshake. We take a replay - commentators try to get
across that Nash pulled Show into the superkick. Good luck. Out on the
ramp, Nash and Michaels call to Show to walk back with them. "C'mon -
tough love, baby - tough love!" Michaels sneaks a few peaks at the camera
to make sure we all heard him.
WWE live events! The RAW crew picks up again Saturday in Frederick;
Sunday, it's Wildwood; Monday is RAW in Philly; next Friday, Lakeland;
Saturday, Daytona Beach; and Sunday, Bethlehem! Man talk about hitting
the lower-tier cities in tough times...
In the Room of Fun, As Taker shadow boxes, McMahon says "That's it, yeah.
I wanna let you know something before you get out there, I wanna let you
know just how damn proud I am of you. You've been steppin' up, okay?
For over ten years - for over ten years, you've shown me what ruthless
aggression (19) is all about, so tonight will not be an exception. And by
the way, just to show you where my heart is, I've given you what you want
at Vengeance. That's right - at Vengeance, you've got the Rock. So don't
worry about a thing tonight - whether you're the champion or not, you've
got what you want at Vengeance, you've got the Rock." Taker halts in his
tracks. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "It's not supposed to
mean anything." "No, whether I'm champion or not, what's that supposed to
mean?" "Well, I just meant...look, I got every confidence you'll be
successfull - all this week." "You're damn right you do. Let me tell you
what. You got any self-doubt about me, and beatin' that little punk Jeff
Hardy tonight... Not only am I gon' beat him - when I leave that ring
tonight, he won't be able to stand up!"
"Theme from Cage Lowering" plays as...wait
In the locker room, Matt Hardy wishes his brother luck: "Hey, Jeff. Hey
uh, look dude, I wanted to come in here, wish you good luck, tonight's the
biggest night of your career, and I actually have someone outside who'd
like to wish you good luck as well." Wow, Jeff's sure spitting a lot.
Behind the door is Lita! "Hey you know I couldn't miss this big night for
you - plus I get to ride back with the new WWE Champion." "Jeff, you go
out there and do what you do best. We know that you can do it, man." "I
guess there's only one way to find out. See ya afterwards." Jeff screams
and beats up the door on his way out.
THE AWESOME UNDERTAKER (champion - Houston, Texas - 328 pounds - on his
beautiful Bourget Python bike) v. AD BREAK
One more "WrestleMania X8" ad
WWE UNDISPUTED CHAMPIONSHIP: THE AWESOME UNDERTAKER v. JEFF HARDY
(challenger - Cameron, North Carolina - 218 pounds)
referee:
Hebner
Hardy decides he'll try out Taker's bike - Taker mouths some
very not nice words and heads out after him - while he goes out, Jeff
slides in - off the ropes, and dropkicks the ladder on the floor onto
Taker! Pescado! Ring the bell 'cause we're on! Hardy goes under the
ring and finds a chair. WHACK! Chair in the ring, Hardy folds up the
ladder and throws it at Taker - he catches it. Taker runs at Hardy, but
he steps aside and shoves Taker into the ring, where the ladder bounces
off the ropes and into Taker's head! Hardy..oops, walked right into a
clothesline. Well, it's all over now. Taker pulls Hardy up - and gives
him a soupbone. Still out on the floor - no disqualifications, no
countouts in a ladder match. Taker takes Hardy's head to the barricade.
Clothesline makes a sandwich with the barrier, no place to go. Crowd
claps for Hardy but it ain't happening - Taker with a headbutt. Taker has
some words for the crowd, scooping up Hardy on his shoulder...looks like
the javelin coming up - no, Hardy down the back and shoving Taker into the
ladder! Hardy grabs the ladder and slams it onto Taker. Hardy up the
steps - split-legged legdrop onto the ladder onto Taker! That'll hurt
both men. Hardy slides the ladder into the ring - but lets it stick out
about halfway. Hardy back in the ring - ooh, but in a bad spot as Taker
seesaws the ladder into Hardy's face. Ooh times two - Taker kicks the
ladder into Hardy's ribcage. And now Taker is back in the ring - picks up
the ladder - runs at Hardy, connecting on the shoulder and taking him off
the apron into the commentary table! Subway replay of the seesaw shot.
Taker has the ladder in position and starts the climb...but looks outside
at the lifeless body of Hardy and decides maybe he'll just go outside and
let this match continue past the top of the hour. Scoop...and dropped on
the table again! Ross is none too pleased about the sanctity of his table
being disturbed, but Taker seems not to care. Another drop on the table.
Taker directs the personnel out of the way - then tosses Hardy into the
timekeeper's table. Edge of the chair into the sternum! Taker sets the
chair aside and grabs Hardy again - there's a knee to the head. Hardy
slid into the ring - God knows why. Taker with a stomp. Taker re-places
the ladder - kick to Hardy. Taker folds up the ladder again, then takes
Hardy's head to it. Boot to the head. Taker opens up the ladder, shoves
Hardy off the top, then places the ladder with one leg over the bottom
rope. Hardy tries a gutshot, backhand, back elbow, back elbow, right,
left, right, back on his feet, right, right, right, right, right, right,
SOUPBONE stops it just like that. Taker checks his head and shakes it
off. Hardy is crawling - that's a bad decision, crawling onto the ladder.
Taker with a running start on the stomp. Taker outside - soupbone! Kick
to the head. Hardy is now between the legs of the ladder - Taker kicks
his head. Taker on the apron - running legdrop to the top leg of the
ladder, squashing Hardy and hurting himself! (The bottom rope didn't
absorb much.) Soupbone! Taker rolls Hardy out of the ladder and heads
back into the ring. Again, the crowd tries to come alive for Hardy as
Taker puts him in the corner. Running start - and the clothesline finds
the mark. Hardy collapses to the mat. Taker stands the ladder up in a
different corner - then sends Hardy back first into the ladder. Taker all
the way to the other side - running splash - Hardy drops out and Taker
hits the ladder! Taker right back to him with a gutshot - Hardy sent into
the corner, but he scales the turnbuckles and leaps off with a corkscrew!
Can Hardy build on it? He's got the ladder, folding it up...ooh, took too
long - Taker with a running kick to the head that takes him to the
outside. Subway replay of the corkscrew moonsault kick. "It's over!"
But Hardy rares back and kicks Taker right in the jimmy! Hardy back in
the ring - running the ropes - jumping onto the ladder which springs off
the bottom rope and landing the somersault plancha!! Hardy grabs the
ladder as we take the Subway replay - throws the ladder at Taker! Hardy
under the ring and finds an even taller ladder - into the ring and THIS
one practically touches the belt! Hardy climbs one rung - two rungs -
damn, boy, climb faster - too late - Taker with a foerarm to the back -
slips in and Hardy's in perfect position for the Last Ride powerbomb...but
he peppers Taker with right hands - drops down - and completes a
Frankensteiner!! God bless Taker, he TRIED to roll but that looked really
weak. Anyway, he's out of the ring and Hardy is climbing a LITTLE bit
faster - crowd is loud and strong - Hardy can touch it - but Taker has a
chair and WHACK! Hardy pulled off the ladder to the mat. Taker gives
Hardy the edge of the chair twice in the sternum. Last Ride attempted
again - Hardy again throws the right hand and leans back - Taker hangs on
this time, but as Hardy headstands on the apron, he reaches back for the
chair - and gets it! WHACK! Taker drops him and falls back. Hardy has
the chair - VICIOUS shot to the head! Ross: "CLIMB THE LADDER, KID!
MAKE YOURSELF FAMOUS!" Camera only shows the top of the ladder...so it's
a surprise when Taker is up from behind with the chair - WHACK - WHACK -
Taker climbs the opposite side of the ladder as Hardy tries to unscramble
his brains - Hardy touches the title again...but Taker his a choke - and
shoves him off one more time. Taker undoes the title - see, he CAN climb!
The champ retains. (14:05) Taker looks out of it, but has just enough
wherewithall to resnap the belt, put it around his neck, start the bike
and - wait, he's headed back to the ring after having caught sight of
Hardy pulling himself by the ropes back to his feet. LAST RIDE! Taker
back on his bike, having a bit more difficulty getting it started, but the
bike eventually roars to life - Taker drives up the ramp...but stops at
the top as a voice screeches "HEY! HEY! You haven't broke me, Taker -
you haven't broke me. I'm still standing! Help from the ropes, I'm
standing!" Taker can't believe it and AGAIN he heads to the ring.
TOMBSTONE HIM!! Taker shoves aside the ladder, lifts up Hardy, rares back
with the right hand...and stops himself. He pats the back of Hardy's head
- then raises his hand! Hardy's music is played. You can bet Kurt Angle
will have something to say about all this respect showing Thursday - RAW
Zone Credits are up - WW logo - g'bye!