I GET LETTERS: Because I'm a sap for any reasonably hot chick who deigns
to even SPEAK to me, I present the following letter:
I'll make you a deal.
The next time WWF comes to Baltimore or Pittsburgh, I'll carry a big ass
"CRZ" sign with me under one condition....
You gotta mention me as a finalist at Scoop This' "I Can't Believe It's A
Contest" contest. I am the nominee with the shortest platform bullshit.
All you goota do is reprint this mail in your WWF Raw Report, and maybe
again n both reports next week.
Help girl out, would you babe? I really wanna get my mug on all the
wrestling websites I can before I die.
Thanks, you're swell!
So I went and checked the Contest over at scoopTHIS! and damned if she wasn't
right - not only does she have the shortest platform, but she isn't
unmercifully sucking up to either them or to Rick and Mike (why would
ANYBODY suck up to Rick and Mike?) in her spiel. That ALONE gets her my
vote. Plus, she chose to use ME! ME!! IT MUST BE CHRISTMAS COME EARLY!!
Actually, she wrote me four months ago
and actually got a mention in the Nitro report, and since I don't ever
forget my fans...
"Who cares?" You're right. On with the Big Show!
One World Leader Attitude TV-PG-V WWF!
"Moments Ago" footage shows Vince turning over control to Shane as he nips
out for a quick workout as he trains for the Royal Rumble. He promises to
return with a "big bonus" and to Patterson and Brisco, he says "as always,
I'm holding you *completely responsible* while I'm away." To Shane, "keep
your ego and your temper in check." The limo pulls away and Shane says to
Patterson and Brisco "I got a lot to do, let's go."
Closed captioned opening credits - well actually the closed captioning
(eh?) logo is displayed over the opening theme (which the CC guy
misidentifies as "D-Generation X Music Plays") - WWF RAW is WAR airs
21.12.98 (but taped 15.12) from Unnamed Arena in Spokane, WA on the USA
Network. Michael King Cole, hosting and providing commentary with Jerry
King Lawler, calls "RAW is WAR" "the most exciting action/adventure series
on television," which means he's never seen MacGYVER.
SKIPPY is quickly out, along with TEAM CORPORATE (have they got their own
music now?) "I've got a little news flash for ya, since my pops has
stepped out for a few minutes, I now have the keys to the kingdom, so
tonight we're gonna do things MY way - the Shane McMahon way!" The DX
theme interrupts him here, and there's D-GENERATION X on cue. Shawn,
who's wearing a Santa cap, isn't too pleased, and neither is Shane. "Well
Shane, you might have the keys to the kingdom, but DX - we've got the keys
to the boiler room!" and out walks - MANKIND? Shane orders that music
cut. "What, do we have a loser convention in town? You guys are like the
Bad News Bears of the World Wrestling Federation." "No Shane, the bad
news is you're an even bigger ass(beep) than your old man." "Thank you
very much, Triple H, I appreciate the compliment." And the "asshole"
chant fires up. "What's that? I can't hear you!" goads HHH. "Okay,
hotshot, let's get down to a little business now, and let me focus my
attention on the New Age Outlaws. Oh yes, Mr. Ass and Mr. Dog. Now
obviously you are not the WWF tag team championship material unlike the
Bossman and Shamrock, oh no, and there will absolutely be no rematch for
those titles, oh no." Shane says he and Shawn have been discussing
things, and maybe there IS a way for them to get their respective
sphincters kicked after all. Michaels announces that tonight Billy Gunn
will get a "bona-fide UFC ass-kickin'" in a match with Ken Shamrock
tonight, and Jesse James will get a "big fat rolled-up hydroponic rompin'
anda stompin'" match with Bossman tonight. Patterson & Brisco look less
than pleased that these matches have been made. Michaels goes on to
announce that Triple H "and his male companion X-Pac" will receive a tag
team match with the Rock & Test (aka Motley Crue's bodyguard). Finally,
Shane announces that as payback for putting his hands on Pops, Mankind
will get a match with - Shane McMahon? Well, he's lost it. "I'm gonna
finish what my father started, you got that Mankind? And tonight, I'm
gonna kick your ass." "Shane, in response to your little challenge, I
have this much I'd like to say-" and then he busts out laughing - Triple H
joins him. Mankind says he has no problem accepting the challenge,
calling Shane a "sniveling little silver-spoon sucking sissy," oh and have
a nice day. Everybody says "suck it" and there's your opening gambit.
Mankind works up a crotch chop - hey, now why are these guys together
again? I must have missed it. Lawler says Shane was a tough streetfighter
growing up on the mean streets of Greenwich.
One of People Weekly's 25 Most (something) people of the year includes
Stone Cold Steve Austin - RUN to the newsstand and BUY a copy right NOW!
Or don't. Depends how "intrigued" you are, I guess.
D'Lo Brown is asking Mark Henry what's up with the ladies in the back room
wanting to fool around when they got bidness to be takin' care of, and
Mark Henry says he can take care of bidness back there and then take care
of bidness in the ring too, and could he please stand guard. D'Lo is
GANGREL (with a burning ring o' far) v. Al Snow (with Head) - Snow with
kicks, punches, chops, Gangrel powers out and we're back and forth, over
and under, Snow locks him up and headbutts him repeatedly. Whip, reverse,
head down, kick, whip, leg lariat by Snow. Right, right, to the corner,
out of the corner, reverse, foot up bt Snow runs into a powerslam - double
underhook overhead suplex for 2. I'm making all these moves up, by the
way. Gangrel with rights. Vertical suplex, rollover into a cover for 2 by
Gangrel. Whip, Snow slides under, grabs the leg but Gangrel stomps on him.
Off the ropes, duck, punch by Snow, lariat takes the man down. Snow points
to Head for no reason. Head (Gangrel's) to the buckle. Placed on the top
rope - Gangrel pushes him away and hits a plancha from the top for 2. Two
rights, whip out of the corner, Snow up and over, pushed into the corner -
catches Gangrel coming out - counter, counter, counter, Snowplow - 1, 2,
3!! (3:01) Whoops, no sooner does Snow's music start but the Brood's music
starts up and when we see the ring next, CHRISTIAN & EDGE have appeared
from nowhere. Lots of pounding, lots of noise, and when we come back -
Snow is covered in red stuff. Errr. Oh, did I mention that was "Blind"
Teddy Long reffing? I guess I was just really wrapped up in this match.
And this terrific "bloodbath" angle. Har har. More likely it was because
ol' Peanuthead spent the entire match hiding in corners out of camera
range. Wonder what's up with THAT. Anyway...
TCI drop-in ad is a Starrcade PPV promo - about TIME WCW started placing
strategic competitor ads!
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - the rest of the J.O.B. Squad came out
to try to get Snow, who was going nuts and saying "Not again, not again - "
which probably translates to "I can't BELIEVE I jobbed to another crappy
gimmick. You know what I was thinking during this segment? What the HELL
is up with Bob Holly's hair?
KING KEN SHAMROCK v. BAD ASS BILLY GUNN for the Intercontinental title -
Amazingly enough, Gunn has two words for ya. Later tonight, we'll see the
real Santa Claus (of course, if you saw Heat last night, you can probably
figure out which promo they're talking about). Referee is Tim White, who
can't stop the "Shamrock sucks" chants no matter how nicely Ken asks. Ken
with the "up yours" arm motion. Takedown, mat thing, Gunn kicks, and
they're back up. "Suck it" chant, oh gag me with a spoon. Kick, quick
rights by Shamrock, whip, reverse, Gunn tries a hiptoss but Shamrock
counters with a takedown and a anklelock attempt - Gunn punches out and
they're separated and back up. Lockup, side headlock by Gunn - Shamrock
pushes him away, but Gunn hits the shoulderblock and Shamrock goes down.
Off the ropes, big boot ducked, flying jalapeno by Gunn, hiptoss for 1.
Gunn to the armbar, Shamrock is up. Gunn wrenches the arm and again, arm
wringer - Shamrock walks him back to the corner and White forces a break -
but it's not exactly clean as Shamrock punches away. To the opposite
corner, Gunn with a back elbow coming out for 2. Back to the armbar.
This isn't that bad a technical match, which must mean Jesse James really
drags those God-awful tag matches down since I can't stand them so much.
Gunn with repeated kicks to Shamrock's midsection in the corner. Crotch
chop pose coming up. Shamrock up, whip, no, Shamrock reverses into a
shortarm clothesline. Shamrock with another great hyperextension move and
now he's on the leg with a lot of kicking and stomping. Shamrock outside
and he's got the knee again - wrapped around the STEEL ringpost. Again
the knee is wrapped around the post. Shamrock has a chair and White is
quick to go outside and make sure it isn't used. Crowd is chanting with
gusto. Shamrock back in, Gunn is up and kicking with his good leg.
Shamrock whips Gunn, who falls to the apron selling his bad knee. Shamrock
with the leg, wrenched again. Shamrock with a Perfectesque tibulabreaker.
Shamrock helps Gunn up - then kicks the back of his leg to take him down
again. High knee by Shamrock. The technical assassin is up - Gunn
punches but Shamrock STILL manages the 'rana for 2. Vertical suplex - no,
Gunn rolls him up for 2. Shamrock with midsection kicks - fishermanplex
for 2. Into the corner, Shamrock punching away at will. Now a lot of
kicks to Gunn's left knee. Another right, whip out, Gunn limping,
reverses, Shamrock hits the corner hard, comes out into an inside cradle -
1, 2, no! Shamrock on the knee again and he's goin' nuts "Aaaaaah!!
GETUP!" Shamrock tries a victory roll - Gunn stops it and presses his
shoulders and neck to the mat - 1, 2, 3!!! (8:23) Ladies and gentlemen, we
have a new Intercontinental Champion! Or do we? COMMISSIONER MICHAELS is
out - whoops, it turns out that while Michaels said that Gunn could FIGHT
Shamrock, but he did NOT say the title was on the line - the ring
announcer was wrong. So Shamrock still has the title even though Gunn won
the [nontitle] match. Cole calls Michaels "a damn Grinch!" Gunn takes
this as another opportunity to show his ass (in a thong) to Michaels,
hooray! Michaels waves his hand in front of his nose, which is as
approriate a response as any, I guess. Then Shamrock flattens Gunn, which
is a hell of a lot cooler.
Backstage, we see Hawk walking around in his big cast.
And now Playstation presents the Slam of the Week! From last night's
Heat, Hawk clobbers Droz with his cast, and Snow hits the Snowplow on Droz
to win his match. Hawk promises that it's "the beginning of the end for
HAWK is out to fulfill his promise of airing some dirty laundry tonight.
"Wellll, it's time to let the cat out of the bag; the dark, deep little
secret of Droz and mine. You see, Droz, he's the pusherman. He's the
enabler. I don't have to cover for you anymore, Droz, because I'm clean -
I've been that way for some time, and I like it. It was a good little
plan - make me undependable in Animal's eyes - sneak up and take my job -
YOU are the dope pusher and I was the dope! And nobody regrets it more
than me. And when I heal up, oh, when I heal, LOD stands for Legion of
Doom and Lords of Discipline, and boy, I'm gonna discipline the hell out
of you! Hey, let me tell you something, the best way to fuel a fire
that's gone wild is with HA-TRED and I have plenty of that for you."
DROZ, who made his way to the ring during this speech, starts stompin'
away - ANIMAL runs out and pulls Droz off of him. Droz has a surprised
look on his face and walks off - crowd chants "LOD" as Animal leaves the
ring - and looks Hawk's way... Lawler: "There are no drugs in the WWF!"
Backstage, D'Lo still can't believe Henry wants to go through with it -
Henry knocks on the door, and the heads of Terri & Jacqueline pop out.
"Oh Sexual Chocklit, we're ready for you" - Henry goes in and Brown stands
outside, less than thrilled.
Let Us Take You Back to Last Year, when Stone Cold Steve Austin gave the
Stone Cold Stunner to Santa Claus, and the fans cheered. It was a Stone
Cold Christmas indeed.
STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh) v. BLUE BLAZER (with Owen Hart) -
Let Us Take You Back to Last Week, where Blackman unmasked the Blazer as
Owen Hart. Man, Blazer's music is the coolest ever. This week, just to
confuse us, Owen Hart is out to prove that he ISN'T the Blue Blazer. He
reminds all of us, even Steve Blackman, that there is a little bit of the
Blue Blazer in all of us. Owen takes a headset for this match. Pretty
nice enziguiri there. Hart says last week's footage was tampered and he
wasn't the Blazer. Blackman tries to unmask Blazer but ends up being
pulled to the ropes and then hot-shotted. Cole: "Last week was a LIVE
show, how do you explain that? How could we doctor THAT?" Hart: "If
Clinton can get off without a resonable doubt, if O.J. Simpson can be
found not guilty..." After Cole pesters him some more, Hart says that's
it - and he leaves. Hart pulls Blackman's feet out from under him, then
comes in and beats him up (DQ 2:02) - Blazer locks in the Dragon Sleeper -
now GOLDUST is out to even things up a bit. Blazer almost manages to run
away while Goldust works over Hart, but Goldust manages to catch him and
bring him back - Blackman hits his missile shoulderblock of death on Hart
and then joins Goldust out on the ramp where the Blazer is AGAIN unmasked
- and this week, he's JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET! Hart helps him cover
up with his cape, then deadpans "Who is that masked man?" several times,
which is damn funny.
Backstage, Terri runs down the menu for Mark Henry - a seven course meal
from soup to nuts. (heh heh - nuts) But first a shower. Jacqueline: "Me
and Terri are gonna take a shower - you're gonna watch." D'Lo, behind the
door, looks bored. Maybe he'll get a tape of the show later.
Henry is watching 'em shower - the lucky bastard. Why are shower curtains
so damn translucent?
Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight where we replay Mr. McMahon
leaving Shane in charge, and holding Patterson & Brisco responsible.
BIG BOSSMAN v. ROAD DOG JESSE JAMES for the Hardcore Title - James comes
out as we turn the hour and hit the War Zone. James introduces both
himself and Gunn because that's the only way the tagline goes. James
goads Bossman by saying that he sodomized his cousin in a prison once, and
it's too bad he's too chicken(beep) to put his belt on the line tonight.
Bossman, who is stupid, says he'll be happy to put the belt on the line
and show him hard time. James gets the quick upperhand but Bossman hits a
spinebuster, then an uppercut. Remember, in Hardcore title matches, thar
be no rules. Big facerake in the corner. Whip into the opposite corner.
Bossman throws him through the ropes. Going outside, hemeets a big ol'
cookie sheet (ooh!) and there's a pinfall attempt on the floor - only 2
from ref "Blind" Jack Doane. Bossman mises a STEEL steps shot, but James
hits a buckethead shot. 10-10-220 brings you a Double Feature. Bossman
manages a head to the steps shot. Bossman with the sheet - over the back
of his head. James taken to the barricade and over - everybody follows.
Into the crowd. Road Dog put through the technician's table. He's got a
broom! Broom now broken. Choke with the broomstick and we're going back
to the ring. Bossman does a nightstick twirl with the broomstick -
impressive! Back in the ring and the belt is off. Whip! Whip! Whip! I
bet they don't REALLY treat Cobb Country Prisoners like this. Belt to the
throat. And now Bossman has some powder - but James kicks it into his
face! James has the belt and is whuppin' away but Bossman makes it to the
outside and gets James out with him. Another 10-10-220 Double Feature.
James over the barricade again. Bossman has a fan! No, an electric fan.
Fan shot! Bossman with a noose! He's got EVERYTHING! Noose is on! He's
HANGING him! Bossman covers after he falls to the floor - only 2!!
Bossman threatens Doane, then turns into a Golotta from James. Trashcan
over the head! James climbs the barricade and jumps off, hitting the can
on the way down. James tries a choke with the rope, but Bossman turns it
around and whips the noose into the side of the stands - MANKIND is out
with a net and now Bossman is wearing it! Then he takes out a -
telescoping SOMETHING - and waffles the Bossman with it! Road Dog covers
- 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Hardcore Champion! (6:55)
10-10-220 brings you the WWF Royal Rumble!
Terri & Jacki take Henry out of his shirt, then his belt, then his pants -
he's wearing red silk boxers and I NEVER needed to know that. Now they're
putting a dog collar on him. Henry's led over to a big table (no visible
stiffy, thank God - but then, I didn't check TOO hard - I was checkin' out
the lingerie on the women) for a massage - he's lotioned up (edit in
there?), then he's rolled over and they put a ball in his mouth - that's a
B&D thing, isn't it? He's the gimp from Pulp Fiction, right? Meanwhile,
D'Lo, still outside, has no idea what's going on, of course. Henry is
whipped creamed up, and Terri brandishes a - what, vibrator? Do I WANT to
know? D'Lo is still outside doin' nothin', ok, well let's take an ad
break before Lawler has an orgasm.
Jeff Jarrett tells us what (beep)(beep)s him off - ugly women in politics.
Well, maybe he has a point...
Brisco & Patterson try to convince Shane not to fight Mankind tonight and
Terri and Jacqui blindfold and then bind Henry to the table. Have you
figured out where this is going yet?
ACOLYTES v. J.O.B. SQUAD - I'm not supposed to mention that Faarooq looks
great anymore, so I won't. Actually, the first thing I am drawn to here
is: What the HELL happened to Bob Holly's hair? Commentators remind us of
Snow's bloodbath earlier tonight. Hey, didn't Faarooq and Scorpio team up
really recently? Oh well. Fair to Midland match is highlighted with a
nice Acolytes double powerbomb and only a Holly run-in can keep the count
from getting past 2. Scorpio manages a brief comeback but only gets a 1
count. Finally, they pair up - white guys inside, black guys outside.
Faarooq's head meets the STEEL steps. Holly eats a lariat on the inside.
Jackknife-style powerbomb by Bradshaw. Now referee "Blind" Jim Korderas
decides to ring the bell for no reason and a DQ win for the JOB Squad is
announced (3:22) apparently because Faarooq wouldn't stop beating up
Scorpio outside the ring. The Acolytes continue to beat up the Squad and
THEIR music plays. Who knows where this is going? Where's Jackyl
WWF War Zone for the Nintendo ad.
Glover gives you the WWF Rewind - Shane's challenge to Mankind and
Mankind's peals of laughter in response.
RAW is WAR is brought to you by Castrol GTX, WWF: The Music, Volume 2, and
SKIPPY (with Two Musketeers) v. MANKIND - The BRAWLforALL theme
accompanies Shane to the ring. Again, Patterson & Brisco try to convince
Shane this is a Bad Idea and again it's nothing doing. Brisco is up on
the apron and distracting Mankind - Shane hits a left. Here's another
left. One more left, another and a right. Right by Shane, he comes off
the ropes but it's Mankind with a big clothesline. TEAM CORPORATE has
assembled at the entrance. Double underhook DDT! Michaels holds back the
Rock as Mankind gets a chair and the mic. "Get up, Shane, I've got a
Christmas surprise for you!" Shane drops to the canvas but Mankind
doesn't waffle him - instead he hands him the chair and dares Shane to hit
him. Shane hits him once but it doesn't faze him - Mankind attacks. He
takes it to him until Patterson comes in - but Mankind steps aside and
Patterson knees SHANE. Mankind clotheslines both of them in the corner.
Now Brisco is in and gets punched out, then whipped into the other two.
*Testicular claw* by Mankind on Patterson! Absolutely not. Cole dubs the
move "Mr. Jocko." Mankind with another knee to Shane's face and finally,
Mr. Socko is out - Shane tastes the cotton. Now the Rock decides it's
time to come to the rescue and he hits Mankind out of the ring, then
follows. Referee "Blind" Mike Chioda decides "well, a chairshot is ok,
ONE or TWO running in is ok, but I draw the line at three" and rings the
bell (DQ 3:05ish). Now D-GENERATION X runs in to even things up as Shane
is dragged away with stars in his eyes.
WWF Attitude - the REAL Santa Claus is (go figure) Classy Freddie Blassie.
I liked it better last night when it was Mankind.
Replay of Moments Ago - looks like X-Pac got in a broncobuster on Shane,
Brisco and Patterson, outside, worry about what Mr. McMahon will say when
he comes back.
Backstage, D'Lo tries to get Henry out from the back as he hears the music
to start their match. "I'm coming, I'm coming" is shouted from behind the
door and I don't wanna know.
OH YOU BETTA RECOGNISE D'LO BROWN & SEXUAL CHOCOLATE MIZARK HENRY v. HEAD
BANGERS - D'Lo's music plays a second time and finally Brown is out but
Henry is not. As the 'Bangers walk out, we cut backstage to see Mark
Henry's nuts in a vice (oh sorry, a *C-clamp* - does the "C" stand for
"crotch?") and Jacqueline and Terri are whipping him. Brown attacks
before the bell and once the doubleteam is broke up, Mosh has his way
until Brown comes back with a - now if I call it the Sky-Hi you will write
me and correct me, but screw it - Sky Hi for 2 - Thrasher breaks it up.
Brown then does pretty nicely against Thrasher until Mosh breaks up the
count. Finally the Bangers take charge with the 2-on-1 while the King
shouts out crap like "hot wax," "vibrator," "how many gerbils," and
Brown is coming back against Mosh, you betta recognise. Dropkick into a
clothesline as the doubleteam is on. Doublefacebuster for 3. (2:45)
Head Bangers retain the toy tag team belts. Apparently Henry escaped just
as the match was over and he appears on the top of the ramp, still with
cuffs on each hand and leftover whipped cream remnants on him. Brown
yells at Henry and walks off. Oh my.
Again, Patterson and Brisco bemoan what Mr. McMahon will say when he comes
back. Patterson: "You just shut up and let me talk to him!" Brisco:
"What's gonna happen with the bonus?" No sooner does the limo pull up
than Brisco falls over himself to open the door and pipe up with "It
wasn't my fault Mr. Mac Man!" and Patterson is unhappy. McMahon
powerwalks to where his son is as we hang back with Brisco & Patterson.
Brisco: "You think we'll still get the bonus?" Pretty funny stuff.
The Undertaker is on the cover of the February 1999 issue of "Tattoo"
magazine. Yeehaw! Anybody notice he and the Undertaker are both absent
AGAIN this week? Not that I'm complaining - I mean, no Val Venis &
Godfather either, so hey, good show, WWF!
TRIPLE H & X-Pac (with Chyna and the Outlaws) v. ROCK & TEST (with
Commissioner Michaels, Big Bossman and Ken Shamrock) - I hate Triple H's
Buffer impersonation as much as I hate Buffer's introductions - is that
the point of the satire? Before the match, Michaels announces some rule
changes - the Corporation can stay and watch the match, but DX has to go
to the back. Then, VINCENT K. is out "It hasn't been a very good night
thus far, so I'll tell you what, let's let DX stay at ringside - it's the
Christmas season, let's let DX stay at ringside, let's have a fair fight,
and let's ALL watch what happens." And Vince walks to the ring as well.
Huh? The bell rings as the "Rocky sucks" chant fires up. X-Pac starts
for his team. Rock with a kick to start, right, right, right, right,
right, boy Rock knows them moves, doesn't he? Whip, reverse,
shoulderblock, back and forth, up and down, hiptoss by X-Pac, repeat,
armwringer, tag to Triple H. Rock tags to Test. Lots of sizing up here.
Oh yeah, referee is Earl Hebner, ok. A couple elbows from Test, another
elbow, another. Knees to the gut in the corner, a couple words for the
ref, more elbows, but he put his head down and now it's H with the
punches, here's a lariat off the ropes. Head to the buckle. Triple H
kicking and punching away. Whip, reverse, Rock hits from behind and
Triple H gives HIM a shot, but when he turns around Test kicks him in the
face. Some pounding, and a tag to the Rock. Right hand. Right hand.
Off the ropes, lariat. 1, 2, kickout. Kick, kick, to the corner and to
Test's boot. Tag to Test. Cole: "A tremendous tag team match underway!"
Choke on the second rope, leg across the bag. Choke continues. Right,
right, right, sidewalk slam for 2. Test is in love with the European
forearm. Triple H ducks and Test hits the corner hard, hot tag to X-Pac.
Spinning heel kick, X-Pac ducks a clothesline and hits lotsa kicks, and
now the bronco buster. Shot for the Rock for good measure. Test reverses
a whip and X-Pac goes up and over the top, where Rock is waiting. X-Pac
hits the barricade hard - then Rock crotches him on the post from the
outside (yo). Hebner was with Test and trying to keep H in his corner.
10-10-220 brings us the Double Feature of the crotch shot. Hebner is
AGAIN distracted by Triple H so Rock and Test doubleteam X-Pac with kicks.
Side Russian legsweep by the Rock for 2. Whip, duck, X-Pac with chops
(woooo!), Rock reverses a whip and here's a back elbow. Scoop and a slam
- can you smell it? Three crotch chop Corporate elbow! Triple H breaks
the count and gives a clothesline to Rock. Now Test is in as Hebner tries
once again to get Triple H back to his corner. Blatant Golotta by Rock.
Test continues pounding in the corner. X-Pac puts a boot up but Test
comes back with a clothesline. Off the rope, duck, spinning heel kick
from X-Pac and both men are down. Tag to the Rock, hot tag to Triple H.
Right, right, right, off the rope, back elbow, woo boy he's a house on
fire. Test in, Test out. High knee to Rock, jawbreaker to Test, X-Pac is
in and Rock takes him out. Doubleteam on Triple H - no he reverses on
Test into the Pedigree - 1, 2, Rock finally figures out what's going on
and breaks the count. Now the lights are out (huh?) and - not THAT music
- well, through hellfire and brimstone KANE has apparently escaped the
asylum because he's walking to the ring (I'm quickly guessing he's on the
Corporate team now). Kane's in the ring - yup, chokeslam on Triple H.
Chokeslam on the Bad Ass. Chokeslam on the Road Dog. Kane has the Rock -
no wait, Michaels gets him to put him down. Chokeslam for X-Pac. Who's
left? Chyna gets an axehandle to the jaw, but it doesn't faze him. Kane
grabs Chyna (nice facial expression there) - but we fade out before the
chokeslam. Damn. (No contest? just under 10:00)