by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
I am EXTREMELY disappointed that Mary Joe Fernandez went and got engaged
without talking to me about it first. That is all.
One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Opening Credits - and TV-14-DLV ratings box
If there are fireworks WE MUST BE LIVE on Labor Day, 6.9.99 - well, with a
slight tape delay - from the Hartford Civic Center in Hartford, CT - and
we're gonna start off with a MATCH, by golly...
LA ROCA y MANKIND v. THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE & HIS
LITTLE BUDDY X-PAC for the WWF tag team championship - interesting that we
can have this match as the hunt is STILL on for #1 contenders - tonight,
the Acolytes will take on Christian & Edge with the winner...well, they
tried it twice already, but maybe tonight something'll happen. Rock takes
the mic and says the same crap he says every week, only making sure to
remix it enough to piss off all the "special" folks out there. This
week's rectal insertion object of choice is Kane's voicebox (less
batteries). "Sumbitch" is almost excised by the kindly USA censor. It
only takes five minutes of Rock speaking before Mankind comes out (and
maybe my ears deceive me, but I'm PRETTY sure I heard ring announcer
Lilian Garcia refer to Makind as his "opponent" instead of his "partner.")
Mankind says he's a little bit prouder and prouder that he's the Rock's
partner, and after sending a shout out to Brian (Hildebrand - get well
soon!), he says that "finally Mankind has come back to Harvard!" which
would be cool if they weren't in HARTFORD. Yuk, yuk, yuk. Kane comes out
alone...which causes our commentary team to speculate that X-Pac meant
what he said last Thursday on SmackDown about Kane not coming out - or
else. Kane asks for the bell to ring, so it looks like a Handicap
match...but before the first lockup, everyone's favourite crappy music
fires up and out walks TRIPLE H. Welcome, friends, to the World Entrance
Federation! Apparently, H is offering to be Kane's tag partner. ...the
hell? As Rock and Kane end up starting things up, THAT SLUT CHYNA also
walks out - with a sledgehammer. In the ring, it's back and forth until
Rock counters an attempt with a side Russian legsweep for 2. Tag to
Mankind - elbows and punches to Kane. Referee "Blind" Earl Hebner forces a
break and Kane stands up, having absorbed everything, and takes over on
Foley. Short arm clothesline for Kane. Helmsley holds out his hand but
Kane won't tag him. Gutshot from Mankind - PILEDRIVER! Tag to the Rock,
but Kane pops up and hits a big boot. Off the ropes, head down, Rock
takes Kane's head to the mat. Rock gives Triple H a shot for good
measure, but eats a Kane clothesline when he turns around. H tags HIMSELF
in but Kane takes him out over the top rope. Off the ropes, duck, Kane
has Rock in the choke...but Triple H takes the sledgehammer to Kane's
back! Rock Bottom...People's Elbow...1, 2, 3. (4:28) Triple H and Chyna
make fun glares. Let's check the replay - the gist is that Rock didn't
see what happened. Coming out of replay, H is back in the ring, standing
over Kane - who isn't moving. Triple H's lips curl into a sneer - and as
he stands over him...Kane's arm reaches up around H's throat! But
Helmsley whacks with the sledgehammer and that's it for that. And there's
another WHACK! Now UNDERTAKER & WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW walk out...whaaa?
Triple H decides discretion is the better part and takes off to his music.
Kane comes to, gives a stare, and hobbles off.
Your hosts are JIM ROSS, JERRY LAWLER and A CAN OF HANSEN'S
ENERGY DRINK. Tonight, a #1 Contenders tag match, a women's title match
(with hardcore rules!) and 6-man action as the Stooges and Test take on
the Posse. Get ready - Jeff Jarrett takes on Jacqueline!
There's Jeff Jarrett and Miss Kitty - and...my God...they're...WALKING!
In an AWFULLY strange coincidence, both KTEH and the A&E Network screened
Roger Corman's "The Terror" overnight last night. I only mention this
because people Older Than Myself love to talk about Roger Corman to me in
email because I use this gag every week, and only now do I FINALLY have an
inkling of that to which they refer. In other words, I fell asleep trying
to watch it - even if that WAS Jack Nicholson. What was my point again?
SmackDown! is Thursday! And your SmackDown report is Friday!
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago and show you all three sledgehammer
shots
MICHAEL KING COLE interviews JACQUELINE - she promises to "smack three
dumb blondes in one night."
JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Miss Kitty) v. JACQUELINE in a nontitle
match - Debra is apparently slumming with Austin, but leave it to Jarrett
to turn a negative into an opportunity for heat. "No puppies tonight!"
"Booooooo!" Jarrett says tonight's match should serve as notice to Chyna
- "see what happens when a women steps into Jeff Jarrett's world!"
Jacqueline comes out to PMS' music but not video. Jacqueline climbs on
Jarrett's back and fires away but Jarrett dumps her and stomps with
authority. There's a big choke. "You go back and tell Chyna!" Stomp,
stomp. Hard into the corner, kneelift, kneelift, Jackie finally steps
aside and gets some shots in but Jarrett hits a big-time clothesline.
Now working the knee - there's the figure four. Jackie screams - and
taps. (1:13) Jarrett won't remove the hold - oh, he does. Standing over
Jackie - who slaps him - then we go to the replays before we can see what
comes after...coming OUT of the replays, there's a gee-tar shot right
across Jackie's noodle. Let's get a replay of THAT.
TERRY TAYLOR is in the locker room with BALD VENIS - Let Us Take You Back
to SmackDown! where Steve Blackman attacked from behind. Venis says
Blackman better hope to find Venis before HE finds HIM...
Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! A seven team tag turmoil matchup to
determine the #1 Contender was cut short with the final two teams attacked
by (formerly of ECW's) Dudley Boyz. Tonight, those final two teams
collide!
EDGE (you think you know him - you only know what he allows you to know) &
CHRISTIAN (has no cool lyrics) v. ACOLYTES to determine the #1 Contender -
Double baseball slide dropkick prevents the Acolytes from entering. Off
the ropes, shoulderblock from Edge - Faarooq in to join him - double
shoulderblock off the ropes to take him down. Faarooq with Edge, off the
ropes, duck, spinning heel kick from Edge, tag. Faarooq quickly takes
command. Into the corner - sidestep the charge, armdrag from
Christian, dropkick, off the ropes, backbreaker from Faarooq, headbutt
misses, tag to Bradshaw, tag to Edge. This match is FAST. Bradshaw with
a fallaway slam. Now in the corner, and Bradshaw's on him. Into the
opposite corner, Edge puts the boot up - and again. Bradshaw tries a
sleeper, but Edge hits a belly-to-back suplex and crawls to the tag.
Duck, dropkick. Faarooq in, clothesline down. DDT from Edge, double
dropkick on Faarooq to take him outside. Double Slop Drop on Bradshaw!
1, 2, kickout. Edge goes outside to take on Faarooq, who does pretty well
until getting a dropkick to the back of the head from Christian - who
unfortunately turns around to get into a Bradshaw VICIOUS powerbomb.
Referee "Blind" Tim White is busy with Faarooq and Edge on the outside -
Bradshaw going for another powerbomb - but Edge manages to get to the top
rope and hit a dropkick - Christian rolls through and bridges - 1, 2, 3!
(3:15) Too short but still a pretty good match.
Backstage, Michael King Cole interviews the brothers - but before they can
see anything, we pan over to see the Acolytes making their way to Edge &
Christian - but before they reach them, they're attacked from behind by
the DUDLEY BOYZ, each man with a garbage can. Acolytes are LAID OUT. I
think we can pencil in the first feud for Buh Buh Ray and D-Von...that is,
if we hadn't already done so from last night's Heat.
GTV presents two guys pissin' - one says to the other, "Hahahahahaha...
and they call you the Big Show? Hahahahahahaha" and then the other guy
runs him into a stall wall - then washes his hands and calmly walks away.
Michael King Cole is backstage with Meat - who no longer wants to be known
as Meat, but as SHAWN STASIAK (or is it Sean? I forget) - that name may
not mean anything now, but 25 years ago his father, Stan (the Man) won the
WWF Championship. Before he can finish explaining how he is here to carry
on the legacy of his father, the Mean Street Posse walks up to him, says
"your father sucked," and lays a major-league beatdown on him.
BALD VENIS strides to the ring and demands a piece of the Big Show for
what he done to him in the washroom. Backstage and watching on a monitor,
Undertaker asks Show if he's gonna pick up that punk card Venis just threw
down. "Aw come on, man!"
WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW v. BALD VENIS - Val crotches him with the top rope
and wails away - but Show pushes him off. Venis back on him, Show shoving
him off again. Show with ... well it's a big clothesline. Well it's a
clubbin' forearm. "Nobody calls me out!" Well it's a big elbow to the
back. Well it's a big open-handed slap. Venis trying to attack the leg
to keep him on the mat. To the top rope - Show catches him with ease.
ahhhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAM to seal the deal. 1, 2, 3. No opening bell, but
let's call it (1:40) or so. Ever the opportunist, and just after Big Show
and referee "Blind" Teddy Long walk off, STEVE BLACKMAN gets in the ring
to take the kendo stick to the unconscious Venis. "Now THAT'S the Lethal
Weapon!"
Terry Taylor is backstage with the Dudley Boyz - Buh Buh stutters out that
they're eight time world tag team champions - the USA censor overreacts to
a "sh-sh-sh-" stutter before D-Von cuts him off with a "Pulp Fiction"
riff. Just before finishing his list of 3 Things We Need to Understand,
the Acolytes let loose with a surprise attack of their own. We go out
while they're still fighting.
And now, the Rescue of the Week! The United States Coast Guard
presents a replay from last week's SmackDown! - Shamrock attacking Jericho
- oh, but it's Finkel. THERE'S Jericho, getting the shot in on Shamrock.
Before LILIAN GARCIA can introduce the next match, HOWARD FINKEL is out.
"Just a moment, just a moment, hold on, just a moment. Lilian, Lilian,
Lilian, just a moment. We seem to have a problem here Lilian, and I
intend to solve it right now. What you don't realise, Lilian, is I am the
very best at what I do, and that is ring announcing, and Lilian, I
strongly suggest at this time you take a seat, and you watch what the best
does. I've done every WrestleMania, I've done pay-per-views, and you're
far from my league. I'll take these cards, have a seat, enjoy the rest of
the show." Lilian asks Howard to please talk to the hands, and takes off.
"Now that we got that out of the way...Ladies and gentlemen, the following
contest is scheduled for ONE fall! ... Uh oh." KEN SHAMROCK's music fires
up and Shamrock storms Finkel - the chase is on - and Shamrock catches
him. "You little pissant!" But the Y2J countdown interrupts THESE
proceedings. On the EntertainmentTron appears CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO.
"Welcome to RAW is Jericho! And Shamrock, you have finally done it - you
have made me absolutely furious! And now you're gonna have to pay the
Jericho price. This is not a fabricated, pretend sport like the Ultimate
Fighting Championships...no, this is sports entertainment. This is real.
And in this realm, MY realm, *I* am the World's Most Dangerous Man. So on
Thursday, on SmackDown!, I'm gonna give you what you've been begging for,
a face to face confrontation with Y2J. But let me warn you - while I have
your lunk head and I'm rubbing it into my sweaty, smelly armpit, and
you're screaming like an unwashed baby, you will wish that you'd never,
EVER incited the fury of Y2J, junior!" Shamrock runs off - but I have a
feeling he won't find him until Thursday...
The commentators hype up SmackDown! - Ross says he's got a very, very
reliable source that says Steve Austin will be out Thursday. And that
source is obviously Debra!! Oh, sorry.
As TRIPLE H (and That Slut Chyna) come out to the ring, Lawler tells Ross
that, just as Finkel is a mark for Jericho, he (Ross) is a mark for
Austin. Ross reiterates that his source is very, VERY reliable. We are
privliged to hear the Champ SPEAK! "You know, uh, people seem to have
forgotten...I am gonna remind you that, like it or not, I AM THE GAME. I
AM THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION." Gee, I'd forgotten. "And my
resume speaks volumes - now let's take a look at it. After crippling the
Big Red Retard tonight, over a short period of time, I have run the gamut
of the who's who in the World Wrestling Federation. Crippling Stone Cold
Steve Austin. Destroying the unstoppable Mankind, putting him out for
three months, and beating him for the WWF Championship. And then,
defending it only a week later, and dominating - and oh yeah, taking to
school that little punk, your Champion the Rock. The resume speaks
volumes." Crowd chants "Rocky." "So Linda McMahon, I am gonna tell you
this, and I'm gonna say it nicely, one time. Because I am the game and
this is not a game, you had better keep your ass out of my business."
Did somebody say "ass?" KING ASS arrives 'neath the EntertainmentTron.
"Did somebody call my name? Triple H - I've read your resume, and it is
pretty impressive. But you remember one thing - I know you better than
anybody. When we were in DX, you recruited me because you needed me.
You wanted me because you wanted to avoid Mr. Ass kickin' your ass. Now
Triple H, if anybody knows about ass, it's Mr. Ass, and not only ARE you
an ass, you're an (beep)!" His music fires up - then stops. Crowd chants
"asshole" and doesn't get bleeped. Triple H says he's gonna give him a
favour - a shot at the WWF title. "I'll bring the belt - you bring the
balls - if you got any." Gunn says we got two words for ya, and the crowd
says those two words. So it's on ... for tonight? I give this a 50/50
chance that this is a swerve, and a 100% chance that I'll bitch about it
if it is.
Patterson & Brisco prepare for their big match - coming up NEXT!
wwf.com gets 20 million hits a week -
how's YOUR website doing?
I kinda like these Magic ads - even though I'll NEVER EVER play
Magic, no matter how much Paul and Joe like it.
MEAN STREET POSSE (with Terri) v. PAT PATTERSON & GERRY BRISCO & TEST
(with RAW credits) - Terri joins the commentators and asks what's so wrong
to want to hang with three well-heeled rich dudes. Sadly, we DO see
Patterson's puppies during the "Real American" entrance as Pat gives
himself not one but TWO titty twisters - the Posse (mercifully?) brings
the 3-on-2 noise before the match begins. It takes a good twenty seconds
before the sound guys start up Test's music so he can run out, climb over
the top rope (just like Diesel would!) and do some housecleaning.
Everybody's out of the ring save Rodney - who tries to walk up the ramp to
escape Test, but here's SHAWN STASIAK attacking from behind, then throwing
him back in to Test for a Meltdown. And now here's a 3/4-length of the
ring top rope elbow - 1, 2, 3. (2:04) Here's a replay of that elbow.
Hardcore & Crash Holly are - WALKING! Crash carries a scale, and Hardcore
says anybody who wants to fight them tonight's gonna get weighed
first...
Here's another SmackDown! ad
Split screen of Ass and H - they collide TONIGHT! It'll apparently be
worth staying up late...harrumph.
THE HOLLYS (with scale) v. NEW BROOD (with Gangrel and a burning ring o'
far) - I'm not supposed to call them the Hardy Boyz anymore - it might
confuse you with the Dudley Boyz. They still come out to their own theme.
Hardcore takes the mic and says if they want to wrestle them, they'll have
to make the weight requirement of the Super Heavyweights. He doesn't
think they'll make it, but here's the scale, just to be sure. He asks
"Anorexic Andy" to get on the scale - and he complies! Nope. Then he
asks "Karen Carpenter." "You guys got some gold or chains you can put on
to weigh more?" "How about you, Dracula, you fat bastard?" Gangrel
stands on the scale. Hardcore suggests they go have some donuts and try
again later 'cause his ain't happening. OF course, Jeff's already on the
top rope for a missile dropkick to FORCE a start. This match is
all Hardyz - nice top rope guillotine legdrop from Matt for 2 - Hardcore
makes the save. Choke on the second rope. Gangrel gets a shot in behind
the back of referee "Blind" Tim White. Ross says he'll bet his black hat
that Austin will be at SmackDown! Is one show being positioned above the
other here? Sunset flip by Crash but only 2. Back into the Hardy corner
for a doubleteam - Hardcore tries to come in but White pushes him back.
Nice doubleteam move - legdrop to the groin by one while the other drops
on his head. Now to a rear chinlock. Oh my, this crowd is quiet.
Lawler asks Ross if Crash played football anywhere. Ross makes a Memphis
State joke. Crash manages a 'rana-alike into the second turnbuckle -
there's a dropkick - hot tag to Hardcore! He's a house on fire!
"Restaurant quality powerslam!" But two Hardyz get the better of one
Holly. Vertical suplex by Matt into a sentonbomb by Jeff. Off the ropes,
Hardcore with a kick, Crash in to take out Matt, Hardcore pulls his
powerplex out of his ass and scores a surprise pin! (4:50) Post-match,
Gangrel gets in HIS licks to regain control of the situation - but now the
lights go out and the music plays - and when they lights come back up,
Crash has received a bloodbath. Hardcore laughs at him. "Do you know how
funny you look right now?" "Why are you laughing?" And he smacks him.
And now they're doing the family brawl that we've all come to love over
these many weeks.
Michael King Cole stands with the Undertaker and Big Show - a failed segue
causes Undertaker ask Cole to please shoo fly. Undertaker says that have
a right to a return match, and they're exercising it. Not only do they
want that match, Thursday on SmackDown!, but Undertaker says it should be
a Buried Alive match.
A mysterious figure, back to us, is seen - WALKING! Looks like Al Snow as
Avatar to me, but they don't say...Lawler: "I know who that is! It's--"
ad break
Michael King Cole stands amongst the ruins of the War Zone set - he'll
talk to Mankind and Rock soon.
AVATAR does indeed come out. Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! as Al
Snow eats his dog. The less said about it, the better... "Shazam!" And
he puts the mask on. "Do not fear, citizens - Avatar is here! I am here
to protect the World Wrestling Federation from evil - from bad doers and
giant nuclear monsters spawned in Japan. So rest your weary heads,
citizens, because Avatar is here!" Then he takes the mask off. "What the
hell am I doing? Where the hell am I at? Oh my God, no! Oh no! What am
I wearing the genie pants for? Oh, Jesus, no, please help me! Oh my God,
the last time they made me wear this outfit, you could have stuffed a
magnet up my ass and drug me through Fort Knox, I STILL wouldn't have
drawn money...oh God please no, not again, this has got to be a bad dream
, tell me this is not happening - I am not Avatar again - I am not Avatar
- eheheheh - Oh, God, this is really...I am really losing it now - ha ha
ha ha....uff! wuff! wuff!" Then he runs over to the commentary table,
appropriates a pen and pad, writes something down, barking the whole time,
and runs off. MY GOD! HE THINKS HE'S RICK STEINER!!
Michael King Cole is backstage with Rock and Mankind. Cole is trying
REALLY hard to make segues between what happened just then and this here
interview now. Rock does his Big Show impersonation, and adds a fair
Undertaker impersonation (rolling his eyes back in his head). A
gold-plated shovel provides rectal fun for Rock. The fans chant
the Rock's name. Mankind says that after the Buried Alive match, the
Undertaker won't be able to rest....in peace.
GTV again - a crying Marianna is on the phone asking somebody to please
talk to somebody else...
RAW is WAR is brought to you by Castrol Motor Oily (with six foot WWF
poster!) and the JVCKaboom!box, and SquareSoft's Final Fantasy VIII.
D'LO BROWN v. STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh) - Lilian pegs
Blackman's hailing from as "Anvil, Tennessee," which is wrong, and
pronounces his name "Black man." Oh well. Before the match begins, SEXUAL
CHOCKLIT MIZARK HENRY and FOUR - NO, TWO LADIES come out and Henry takes a
headset. Blackman starts off, but D'Lo reverses, duck, dropkick is
swatted away. Brown with the standing flourished legdrop for 2. Right
hand. Brown looks at Henry, so Blackman hits a nice kick. Now Blackman
on him with kicks. Brown choked on the rope. Snap suplex. Elbowdrop
coming off the ropes. Cover - nope. Rear chinlock by Blackman. Henry
saying unkind things about Brown - no way he'll win the Euro title at the
big PPV. Blackman working over Brown to a "Blackman sucks" chant. Brown
comes back with a Sky-hi, then talks trash to Henry while Blackman
recovers and goes into his bag of fun. But before he can use the chuk's
on Brown, BALD VENIS attacks from behind with a kendo stick of his own.
Whack! Whack! Brown hits the 'Lo-down when everybody turns back around
and Venis has left. 1, 2, 3. (3:15) Henry decides to walk in and lay
out Brown - there's a Euro belt shot, and there's a full flip into a slam.
Henry's music plays and he walks off triumphant.
Terry Taylor interviews Ivory - is she worried about this upcoming
hardcore match? Ivory says she's looking forward to rearranging "that
skank's face" on a concrete wall. Before she can brandish some more
weapons, Tori punks her out wearing only a shirt and thong. That's
hardcore! A pullapart is attempted - hey hey, let's save that for the
ring! Even if you're gonna leave it within fifteen seconds, as per
hardcore rules...
When we come back, they're STILL fighting! And they're in a
stall. Apparently, Ivory just got a swirly. Head to the paper towel
dispenser! Tori throws cakes of soap at Ivory - then tampons (Ross: "Hey,
what're those?") They're in the shower - causing Jacqueline, who was
TRYING to shower, to grab a towel and take off. Shampoo to the eyes! Soap
in the mouth! Man, I'm SO hot right now. Weapons tossed, Ivory's head to
a trashcan. Into a door. Hey, it's the men's locker room apparently -
Droz, Prince Albert and (I think) Mark Henry watch with amusement. Well,
now theyr'e out in a hall. Tori in control. Into the side of a semi.
Ummm....I'm pretty distracted right now, I must tell you. Just pretend I
wrote something here instead of staring at whichever practically bare ass
is foisted 'pon my TV screen at the particular moment. Ivory smashes a
mirror on Tori's head to secure the pinfall. Let's call it ... ummm,
maybe (7:00) counting the ad break. We see about 4, I think. Anyway, for
an encore Ivory grabs an iron and chokes her out with the extension cord.
THEN, with appropriately placed sizzlin' sound effect, uses the iron to
burn Tori's back.
Elsewhere backstage, Earl Hebner tries to tell Chyna she's barred from
ringside - they've had enough problems with women tonight. Chyna says
she's gonna pretend she didn't hear him say that - and walks on...
Oh my God! Kane is still here! And he's SITTING IN A CORNER! Ummm, so
what? Why is this so shocking? Where else would he be?
Allen Funt is gone! Rest in peace, Candid camera man.
The FRAM Sure Grip of the week is the grip that ... well, it's Triple H
hitting a pedigree on Mr. Ass behind the ref's back to protect Chyna's
intercontinental title shot.
Magic: The Gathering presents WWF Unforgiven Sunday 26 Septmber!
This is the 23d time I've heard the Triple H theme tonight...
TRIPLE H (with That Slut Chyna) v. KING ASS for the WWF Championship -
referee "Blind" Earl Hebner again tells Chyna to get out of Dodge, and she
actually COMPLIES. Of course, not before having a staredown with Ass
dudring HIS entrance. This is enough to distract Ass and allow Helmsley
first attack running up the ramp. Gunn manages to reverse it and we're
still brawling on the outside. Head to the STEEL steps. Gunn throws him
in and the opening bell sounds. Repeated punches and kicks by Gunn - ko
punch. Off the ropes, head down, facecrusher on the knee. Clothesline
ducked, Gunn manages a powerslam for 2. Right, off the ropes, reversal,
duck, high knee by Triple H. Ass rolls outside, H follows. Hebner also
out to make sure we don't wonder why he isn't counting 'em out. Blows
traded - Gunn tastes the STEEL ringpost - and again. To the commentary
table we go - Gunn's head hits it. H rolls him back in and follows.
Helmsley yanks on the arm - again. Knee to the back of the arm. Gunn
punching back - H with an armbar takedown for 2. Crowd is dropping pins
and I can hear 'em. Lawler and Ross hype SmackDown! as Helmsley applies
an armbar. Head to the buckle. Ass punching back. Now trading
blows - now Ass getting the upper hand. Off the ropes, knocking him down,
H up, clotheslined down, H up, "jackhammer move," for 2. Well now SKIPPY
is out to confuse us. Gunn throws Helmsley outside as Hebner goes outside
to remove Shane from the ringside area. Meanwhile, Helmsley has the belt
- but Gunn ducks the beltshot and hits one of his own! But there's no
ref! Hebner runs back - 1, 2, no! Gunn argues with the ref, and Helmsley
runs at the corner, taking out the ref in the process. Fame'Asser! But
Hebner's out. That's twice. Helmsley tries the Pedigree but Gunn
counters with a Golota. All three men out in the ring. Ross cheering for
Mr. Ass. Gunn slowly moves over and covers - Hebner with his trademark
slow count. 1....2....shoulder up. "I despise him!" says Ross. Gunn
punching away. Triple H pushes him off. Helmsley to the top rope - no!
He eats a boot. Into the corner - Nobody there for the Ass avalanche.
Pedigree. 1, 2, 3. (7:19) Shane and Chyna are back out to celebrate.
But...THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE - there's a big boot for
Triple H - Shane shoved into the corner - Chyna chokeslammed! Triple H
back with punches - no effect. Kane has him in the choke - CHOKESLAM ON
THE CHAMPION! And now it's time for Shane to use all his powers of
melodrama to slowly look up at Kane - chokeslam for him! Good night!
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net