by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
QUICK QUOTE: WWFE 22 13/16 (- 1/4)
TONIGHT: The Rock and a partner of his choice take on Big Bossman and
Prince Albert! The Big Show lays down an open challenge - who wants to
have a title shot? And what will Vince McMahon do in retaliation against
Triple H? AND...isn't it weird to not ONCE hear the name "Austin?"
One World Leader Attitude - TV-14-DLV - WWF!
Let's Take A Look Back at Events from SmackDown! - take a drink every time
you hear the word "personal" and you'll be good and loaded in time for the
opening - ahh, McMahon dusted off that old gem "Not tonight, not any night"
- ewww, I didn't notice that gash on Steph's forehead on Thursday...
Shane's afraid his father's gonna do something stupid. (Now THERE'S a
straight line.) He divides up the officials and Test and off they search
Closed captioned symbol and Opening Credits
WE ARE FIREWORKS from the Marine Midland Arena in Buffalo, NY 22.11.99 on
the USA Network! And maybe also TSN, who can say - RAW IS WAR!! Let's
start with a....match?
MANKIND & AL SNOW (with Head) v. HARDCORE & CRASH HOLLY (with Scale Holly &
a Bob Holly/Al Snow SummerSlam action figure set) - Mankind wearing a blue
shirt and a nice tie that must have been given him on his recent Canadian
swing, Holly brandishing the controversial item in question. "As much as
you people like to listen to me talk, I don't have time for any one of you
right now. Now Al Snow, YOU are a complete idiot. YOU are the reason why
Wal-Mart have pulled MY dolls off their shelf. So now, all my Hardcore
Holly fans out there are gonna have the worst Christmas of their lives!
And what's Christmas without a Hardcore Holly doll? There ain't no
Christmas, ain't that right Crash?" "This is making me sick!" "It'll be
okay...So Al, you can go around mutilating people, cuttin' people's heads
off - hey that's fine and dandy - that's YOUR business. Hey, I can forgive
you for something like that. But when you affect the sales of my
merchandise - I CAN'T forgive you." Snow rushes up the ramp and they
trade blows. Crash and Mankind brawl as well. Snow and Hardcore in the
ring and the opening bell rings. Off the ropes with a clothesline. On the
STEEL entryway, Mankind and Crash - not doin' much. Snow tossing Hardcore
out of the ring and following. They're over the barricade! Now they're
back over with a Snow clothesline. Snow in the ring with Crash - suplex.
Crash firing back - Mankind tapping him on the shoulder, Crash doing the
classic "not right now, I'm busy" hand motion - then turning around and
eating a punch - now pinballing between the two. Off the ropes, double
back elbow into pattycake sequence and double elbowdrop. Mankind outside
and back to Hardcore. Powerbomb from Snow on Crash in the ring. Mankind's
head driven into a STEEL chair on the outside - Hardcore climbs the ropes
as Snow sets up Crash for the Snowplow. Hardcore hits a missile dropkick,
and Crash falls on Snow. 1, 2, 3. (2:07) Oops, Mankind was chairing
Hardcore and missed the chance to make the save. Snow is unhappy again -
and I don't think another Vegas trip is in the offing...
You found him? No, I haven't found him. Vince? Vince? Vince? Mister
Mac Man?
Meanwhile, from a limo, DX chats. Triple H answers his cel phone and
learns that Vince has blown a gasket. The four speculate on what exactly
would have sent Vince to the nuthouse. Was it when they beat up the
Stooges on SmackDown!? Was it Test's nose being broken? The fire? The
tumble down the stairs? What *I* want to know is - who's calling Triple H?
Hey, maybe it's Chyna! Yeah! That and what's a camera doing in the DX
limo? Oh and why are they running so late? Okay, I'm sure at least one of
these questions will be answered soon. Well...maybe
WWF 3-D Attitude - get it with "In Your Face" - the WWF's Best of '99 Magazine!
When we come back, Shane and Test are searching the parking lot - they find
Vince sitting in the driver's seat of a car...and brandishing a baseball
bat. He wants some fresh air and to gaze at the full moon - and he's
pretty demanding about it, too! We learn that Shane and Test are taking on
the Outlaws for the titles tonight. Oy.
THQ's WrestleMania 2000, Wavesmusic.com, and the WWF Slam Cam bring you
tonight's program!
CELEBRATED OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST AND REAL ATHLETE KURT ANGLE v.
SEXUAL CHOCKLIT MIZARK HENRY - Ross notes that both men are Olympic
athletes, blowing my mind. "Hold on, hold up Mark. In the Olympic creed,
it state - people, please, listen up. In the Olympic creed it states that
it doesn't whether you win or you lose, but that you *participate* in the
Olympic games. Now, I have a problem with that certain quote. You see I
specifically qualified for the Olympics to win nothing but gold, for myself
and for this great county...thank you. Now, there were SOME of us that did
not quite pull through for the good ol' US of A. I won't mention any
names...so tonight, I am asking you, the fans of Buffalo to cheer for the
man who brought home the Olympic gold medal...and not the man who stayed
out all night at a topless bar the night before he competed! ...he stayed
out all night at a topless bar the night before he competed,
AND..nononononononono...and finished...EIGHTEENTH PLACE!" He's falling to
his knees with righteous indignation. "Now Mark, if you'd followed my
simple set of rules - I like to call 'em the three I's - now we all know
this - intensity, integrity, and intelligence - you would have placed
first, and not - dead - last." Henry decides to strike while his back is
turned. Up elevator - drop. Henry with his patented "slide down his back
through the ropes - I guess it hurts" move. Angle goes outside - the chase
is on and Angle takes control as Henry comes back in. Off the ropes is
reversed, cross body by Angle for 2. Single leg takedown, hooked for 2.
Angle knocks him down, then applies the cross armbreaker. Henry picks up
Angle by his one arm, and drops him in a powerbombalike. Here's a look at
a guy with a sign - he looks different from the guy we saw last week.
There's a Northern Lights suplex with a bridge - 1, 2, 3. That was quick.
(1:44)
Here's a look at the arriving DX limo - here's a look at Vince in his car -
oh good God - he's RAMMING them! There's another smash-'em-up from
Vince. Now he's outside with the bat and smashing up the windows - hey,
that driver is innocent! EASY VINCE!! DX walks out the door while Vince
does this. Vince blows out the rest of the windows, then stalks off with
his bat...what's next?
WrestleMania 2000 - the video game ad.
Local spot for SmackDown!
Other local spot for Friday's show at the Shark Tank. I can't make it -
I'll tell you why Thursday if you're REALLY interested
When we come back, we examine the limousine - apparently, the driver made
it out okay.
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago. I HOPE that poor cameraman made it
out alive! Vince says "Wanna play the game" and "let's play the game"
about a MILLION times - but that wasn't as funny as when he said
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Back "live" and Vince is knocking on the door of the DX locker room - with
the baseball bat. Shane and the Musketeers try to stop him - but Vince has
apparently snapped, so to speak.
GODFATHER (with a dozen - no, half a dozen ho's) v. CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO -
Godfather's just a fun loving guy who loves to have fun. AND SMOKE WEED.
There's another "WWF = PORN" sign in the audience, and that guy also looks
different. Let's look at him again! The explosion is a bit off with
Jericho's music. Wow, that vest of Godfather's sure glows in the black
light! Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where Jericho smashed up Chyna's
hand. We learn that Chyna is not going to press charges, and had
"reconstructive thumb surgery" over the past week. "Welcome to RAW is
Jericho! And as a role model and hero for millions of Jerichoholics across
the world, as well as having all of the qualifications to be a true
intercontinenatl champion, my image is tarnished by just stepping into the
ring with a piece of crap like you, surrounded by your brutally ugly pigs
that you call ho's - get these tramps out of my arena right now - get the
hell--" and Godfather attacks from behind. Off the ropes, duck,
shoulderblock. Off the ropes, up and over, Jericho comes back with the
dropkick Jericho with many knees. Off the ropes, Godfather with a
big boot. Arm wringer, back kick... commentators are more interested in
the sign in the audience than this match. Now we learn that some cops are
on the way. Into the corner - but Jericho puts the boots up. Snake Eyes
completely misses but Jericho sells the fall to the mat instead. Godfather
winds up and it's time once again for the Ho Train. Jericho falls to the
floor where we get another look at that one ho. Godfather outside -
Jericho threatens a ho - then shoves her at Godfather - then hits a nice
flying clothesline using the steps as a springboard. The ho pulls on
Jericho's hair from behind, then all the ho's are on him. Back in the
ring, Jericho with the bulldog. LIONSAULT! Jericho covers - 1, 2, 3!
(2:01) Jericho asks referee "Blind" Tim White to raise his hand again, and
White's just unhappy that he's not gonna get to roll with the ho's.
Backstage, Vince is still knocking - some cops arrive and arrest
Vince...presumably for beating up on the door with the bat. While he's in
the cuffs, DX emerge from the dressing room and distract everybody enough
for Triple H to get in some good licks on Vince. Now everyone's separated
and we follow the cops as they take Vince out of the building. Vince does
a pretty good Goldberg-esque "Rarrrrrrr" while Shane shouts randomly and
incoherently.
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago where Triple H "got him some"
During the Break, Triple H got a chance to give Vince a few words. Vince
retorted with "I'm gonna play your game!" a few thousand times. All of DX
gets a chance to point and laugh.
EDGE (I think I know him!) & CHRISTIAN v. DUDLEY BOYZ - Dudleyz rush the
ring and it's on. D-Von taken to the outside, Edge hits a spinning heel
kick on B.B. Ray as he tries to charge. Samoan Drop turns the tide.
There's an elbowdrop. Blatant chokehold - Referee "Blind" Earl Hebner
physically pulls him off. Shot for Christian, distracting he and Hebner
enough to allow for the "D-Von headbutts his crotch" move. Cover - only 2.
Stomp - off the ropes, back elbow. D-Von standing on the neck. Tag.
Right hand to the open ribs. Slap. Edge fires back, B.B. Ray hits an
elbow. Biiiig back body drop. Clothesline, headbutt, cover, 2. Off the
ropes, head down, Sunset flip attempt - got him - 1, 2, no. Coming up with
the knockdown. Now to the rear chinlock. Ewww, too close with the closeup
on Edge - sorry. Head to the buckle, tag, off the ropes, double
shoulderblock. D-Von takes him off the ropes, duck, Blackman-esque
shoulderblock for 2. Blatant chokehold. Jawbreaker. Right hand for
Christian to again distract the ref when he comes in. Edge manages a
dropkick to the back and D-Von tastes the turnbuckle. Apron run
clothesline from B.B. Ray accidentally hits D-Von. Edge with the HOT TAG!
Top rope plancha - another miscue as Buh Buh hits a splash on his
half-brother when Christian moves. Christian punching away on Buh Buh but
D-Von hits from behind. Off the ropes, Christian reverses and kicks -
D-Von ducks a clothesline and backflips Christian to Buh Huh and together
they hit 3-D - but Christian rolls to the outside. Spear - D-Von leapfrog,
but Edge hits Buh Buh. D-Von grabs him from behind with a Slop
Drop-alike. D-Von to the top rope - Christian crotches him. Edge under
Christian - there's the superplex off the shoulders - somebody will get
KILLED with that move someday. Christian covers - 1, 2, 3. (5:29)
MICHAEL KING COLE attempts to interview the Rock. Rock ain't letting on
who his mystery partner is - I suppose it doesn't matter who his mystery
partner is. Anyway, Mankind and Al Snow walk by and LET THE HIJINKS BEGIN!
The only thing we get out of this segment is that Rock claims he never
threw his copy of "Have a Nice Day" in the trash. Umm, well, who did?
Our intrepid cameraman waits at the precinct - which appears to be more
like a trailer. I don't know what city that is, but it's got a hell of a
lot more letters than Buffalo. "Lackawanna" it is. Vince appears to have
calmed down a bit - but the cops still ain't takin' off them cuffs.
Here's a shot of Stephanie shopping for dresses with her party - that
wedding's next week, you know!
When we come back, it's a scene from the bridal shower - Mae Young and
Moolah sent Stephanie handcuffs, a leather mini and bikini top, and a whip
(which Linda confiscates...got ideas?). After every item, everyone "oohs"
appropriately, which is funny. Mae Young whispers some suggestions for the
wedding night, and probably swears like a sailor in the process. You know,
for a seventy-or-eighty-something-year-old woman, she sure can't act!
JEFF HARDY (with Matt Hardy and Terri Breasts) v. X-PAC (with a refreshing
can of Hansen's Energy Drink) - Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where
X-Pac's interference kept the Hardys from winning the titles from the
Outlaws - Ross is saying "Vince is in jail" with all the gusto of Don and
David Was - remember that? "Hello, dad..." - X-Pac all over Hardy with
kicks and right hands. Into the opposite corner, X-Pac straddles the
second turnbuckle when the charge misses. Off the ropes, flying head
scissors from Hardy. Scoop slam - onto the apron, back in, springing off
the top rope with a split-legged moonsault for 2. Still kicking away, off
the ropes, X-Pac ducks and counters a 'rana with a powerbomb. X-Pac
stomping away and keeping him on the mat. Hairpull takeover, off the ropes
with a Lightning Legdrop. Wrenching in the headlock. Hardy fights out and
hits a standing dropkick. Into the corner, reversed, up on the ropes,
springing off, but Hardy runs into a spinning heel kick. Standing on the
neck. To the corner, patented three kicks - motioning for the
broncobuster, but Terri is up on the apron - referee "Blind" Jim Korderas
is distracted - Matt Hardy is up on the apron, no he's not. There's the
broncobuster. Now Matt IS in and there's a neckbreaker. Jeff off the top
rope with the sentonbomb - but as he covers, ROAD DOGG is out to pull him
off. KING ASS is also out - as Dogg and Matt brawl on the outside and
occupy Korderas, Ass attacks from behind and helps set up the X-Factor.
Cover, 3. (3:31) Ass hits the Jackhammer on Jeff, then has some
unkind motions for Terri. Meanwhile, X-Pac hits another Lightning legdrop.
Vince is fingerprinted.
There's the Big Show - and he's - he's - PACING!
WrestleMania 2000 ad #2
Another look at the Bridal Shower - looks like Mae Young is quite drunk -
we can only hope we get a brawl between her and Moolah later in the show!
Linda announces that she's chartered a plan to Las Vegas for a bachelorette
party - Moolah stands up to offer a toast to Las Vegas and Moolah kicks her
into a nearby cake. And then it REALLY goes downhill. The last the we see
is Stephanie wearing some cake. Whee...
Vince's mug shot is taken at the Lackawanna police station. "I am gonna get
my phone call, right?"
WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW (with credits & TV-14-DLV ratings box) v. ? - after a
dramatic pause, we see THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE, who
leaves TORI at the top of the ramp like he was Diamond Dallas Page or
somethin'. Show is unimpressed that Kane can light off flashpots in the
corner. Kane strikes first with kicks and uppercuts, but Show knocks him
down. Kane again with the fists. Big show with a heatbutt, a kick, some
fists, knees, what have you. Into the corner - Kane sidesteps a charge but
Show stops himself - then turns into a big boot from Kane. Right. Choke.
Why, Tori's done something with her hair! It's covering her face in all
the right places! Powerslam for 2. Headbutt again. Off the ropes, Show
caught his foot, but there's an enzuigiri from Kane! Charging, Show takes
him over the top rope - landing on his feet. Caught him as he comes back
up - Kane drops into a hot shot. To the top rope, flying clothesline -
cover, hook, 1, 2, no! This crowd could either use some better mics or
they need to start making some real noise. Kane up for the Ten Punch Count
Along, but Show stops that at three and drops him with a powebomb. There's
VISCERA out and putting an arm around Tori. Tori gets free and walks down
to the ringside. Dueling chokeslam attempts - Kane breaks free, having
seen what's going on, and goes outside to attack Viscera. Referee "Blind"
Mike Chioda puts on the fastest ten count in the world and the Big Show is
your winner. (COR 2:54) Show at least gets an impressive bodyslam of
Viscera (!) post-match. The story here, at least says Lawler, is that Tori
is more important to Kane than the WWF title. I'M a little more interested
in the fact that Big Show still wants a piece of Viscera. Maybe we'll get
that match for SmackDown!? Did I mention Show's wearing a new shirt? Did
I mention that impressive "THE BIG SHOW IS IN MY PANTS" sign? Did I..let's
move on...
Back in the back, Shane is on the cel phone - apparently, he is Vince's one
phone call. After assuring him that McDevitt and the other lawyers are
already en route (how far IS it to Buffalo from Stamford, anyway?), Vince
apparently asks Shane to deliver a message for him. Shane smiles and says
he'd be happy too...goodbye - and he and Test start to walk offscreen...
There's the full moon - and the usual exterior shot of the Marine
Midland Arena.
And inside the arena is DOMINIK HASEK! He's layething the smacketh down!
Here's a look at H-Blockx and Steve Austin filming the "Oh Hell Yeah"
video. They sidestep the fact that it took place last week after that
DEVASTATING car accident, but let's let that go. A week from tomorrow,
there will apparently be a special presentation - "WWF'S Greatest Hits" -
where we can get a sneak preview of the vid. I *believe* when Ross says
"check your local listings," that's secret code for "it'll be on UPN," but
don't hold me to that.
TREBLE H is out to say a few words to the people. But first, an "asshole"
chant. "Like I've said before, you've no idea how big an asshole I can
(beeeeeeeeeeep). Now after seeing this footage, it seems evident to me who
was responsible for this whole Austin car crash scenario. I'd like to show
you a little evidence that was collected earlier today, so run that footage
from earlier" Showing another replaly of McMahon "attempting vehicular
homicide" from earlier tonight, Helmsley suggests that this is the second
time in two weeks Vince has done that very thing. Helmsley also points to
the "aggravated assault" with the baseball bat. H reveals that HE is the
one pressing charges. "D-Generation X and Triple H stand for law and order
in the World Wrestling Federation. I mean, it was my CIVIC duty as a
responsible citizen to put that man away! And it's - it's really ironic
that Vince was out here just a short time ago, talking about DX being in
jail, and how we would fear. Well, Vince, I - I would have to imagine that
tonight you'll get a lesson as to what DOGG-E-STYLE is all about. And you
know, Vince, something to think about - I never received my answer to the
challenge for Armageddon. You and me, Vince, one on one, no repercussions,
we finish this once and for all...so maybe tonight, while you're ass up,
face down in your cell, and your cellmate is leaning over ya, and he's
whisperin' sweet nothings in your ear...maybe that can be running through
your mind, to take off the violation..." "No Chance in Hell" plays - but
it's SKIPPY. "Hey, Triple H. One thing that you don't do - is everybody
knows - is you don't cross the boss. I don't envy your position. Vince
had one phone call - he had the right to make one phone call. And who did
he call? He called me to send you a very special message, Triple H, and
that message is that he can not wait to get his hands on you and rip you
limb from limb at Armageddon, so Triple H - you're on! Vince - Triple H -
Armageddon! Oh and there's just one last thing, Triple H, Vince also told
me to inform you that he's ordering you tonight, *in that very ring*, to
take on - in handicap action - not one, but BOTH members of the Acolytes.
Have a wonderful time, Triple H!" "Shane, you know, you talk real tough,
but typical McMahon style, you talk tough from far away - so why don't you
front my ass and get in this ring, and let's see if you can walk the
walk...or if you're just some bitch running his mouth - come on, tough
guy!" Did Shane just mouth along with Triple H? But as Shane walks to the
ring - behind him appear the other three members of DX. Shane rushes
Triple H to at least get a few shots before the four-on-one. But now
here's TEST, PATTERSON & BRISCO - now here's the HARDYS, who have a score
to settle with the Outlaws - and NOW the ACOLYTES are out - well, that's
eight on four and DX knows that when the numbers are against you, you take
off. Gunn is noticably limping here...hmmm...
"Tobacco is whacko?" Puh-leeze.
Backstage, during the break, the omnipresent EMT's check out Gunn's knee.
Why yes, it IS an angle!
WrestleMania 2000 for the N64 ad #2
BALD VENIS & BRITISH BULLDOG v. - "Hellllllo, skanks!" Venis is annoyed
that Bulldog's music starts up before he can say more. Ross lays into the
"right-wing" PTC (specifically, L. Brent Bozell III) taking on WWF
advertisers by reading a prepared statement. I could transcribe it for
you, but you can go read the same thing on wwf.com if you're that bored.
Suffice it to say that Ross sees a blatant assault on our liberties,
whereas I see a harmless expression of free speech that we should tolerate,
but take care to see that it doesn't server to limit our OWN free speech
later. So there. Hey, don't blame me, I waste my vote every year. Ross
asks us to write the US Army - I'll take a pass. Venis and Hotty
start - Venis with the kick, punch, punch, off the ropes, dueling hiptoss
attempts, gutshot from Taylor- flip up and over, Venis ducks, Taylor
strikes with punches, off the ropes is reversed, spinebuster from Venis -
Sexay makes the save. Tag to Bulldog - double whip, double gutshot,
double facebuster. Into the corner, Taylor up and over - Bulldog catches
him on his shoulder, swings him over, unfortunately taking out Venis in the
process, and hitting the running powerslam. 1, 2, Venis pulls out referee
"Blind" Teddy Long. Sexay comes in and the doubleteam is on. The Posse
looks on from the back - when we come back, we see Venis walking away.
Well now the MEAN STREET POSSE is out to attack... ( DQ 1:19) and NOW, for
no particular reason, RIKISHI FATU - who is apparently now pronounced and
possibly spelled RAKISHI (sounds like something Fatu's been eating a lot of
lately) - comes out and lays out the Posse. Big Ass Splash on Joey Abs!
For an encore, there's a Big Butt Drop on Pete "Gas!" And HERE is the
sitout piledriver on Rodney - very nice. Too Cool come back in and bust
the proverbial move, and invite the sumo warrior to join them. After
consulting with the crowd, he does indeed block out the light fantastic.
Reminds me of Jorge Porcel. I couldn't *wait* to say he was MAKING A
DIFFERENCE! I *will* say it's nice that he didn't just go ahead and lay
THEM out, too - that wouldn't have been as FUNNY, SEE!
Shane tells Test not to worry... "I got it under control..."
Meanwhile, Vince is put in a cell, after his coat and belt are confiscated.
Here's another local drop-in for SmackDown! on UPN 44 in my neck of the woods
And now, the WWF Rewind, presented by MechWarrior 3! From SmackDown! 11
days ago, Ah-nold has some fun with Triple H. Also, our only appearance of
Austin tonight.
Ross announces the attendance at over fifteen thousand, then leads us into
a Special Video Look at the Premiere of "End of Days" - Marissa Mazzola
gets all the cushy assignments, but in return, she's gotta sleep with
Shane, so... Is it just me or does Maria Shriver look REALLY REALLY bored?
We get a nice look at Mick & Al in their formal attire. Tom Arnold says
Arnold is tougher than any wrestler. Schwarzenegger says "girly man" for
our benefit.
ROAD DOGG v. TEST - With Ass out of the picture, I guess this isn't a tag
team title match anymore - or is it? "No Chance in Hell," predictably,
plays...oh, no, it's just SKIPPY come out in the zebra shirt and relieving
Jim Korderas. Test quickly on him to start - whip is reversed, duck, full
nelson (Uncle) slam from Test. Dogg ducks the big boot and Test crotches
himself on the top rope - there's a dropkick to take Test outside. Dogg
follows. They're not out, long, though. Back in - off the ropes, head
down, gut wrench, powerbomb, both men slow to get up. Test with
"Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine." Off the ropes is reversed, swinging
neckbreaker by Test to counter. Clothesline, but the next one is ducked.
Dogg with his patented left, left, left, juke, jive, Shane tries to block
the right, Dogg takes HIM out. Test with a gut shot - pump handle - some
of that gay stuff - slam - Shane with a normal count, 1, 2, 3. (1:30)
Another look at Vince in his cell. At this point in the show, I'd usually
make an unnecessary remark about interpid cameramen, but who knows - maybe
he brought the cops a big box of donuts to get that kind of access...
Wow! THE TERMINATOR! TOMORROW ON USA!
And now, the WWF Slam of the Week - brought to you by THQ's WrestleMania
2000! The Bossman's sidewalk slam and pin of the Rock to become #1
Contender from last week on RAW - followed by the Rock's ballisticness on
him and Albert.
BIG BOSSMAN & PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN v. LA ROCA y ? - "I am the World
Wrestling Federation Hardcore champion - and now that I have kicked Rock's
ass to hell and back, I am the #1 Contender..." Rock's music cuts him off.
Apparently, Rock is going to go it alone in a Handicap match - or ring
announcer Lilian Garcia is pretty dim. "Finally, the Rock has come back to
Buffalo! Now the entire world wants to know who the Rock's partner is.
Well the Rock says this - there ain't but one partner, now and forever, who
the Rock will ever trust, and his partner tonight...is ...the People. And
because they are the People and the Rock is the People's Champ, the Rock
says they WILL see the Rock Bottom, and they WILL see the most electrifying
move in Sports Entertainment, the People's Elbow, if ya
smelllllllllllllalaloooow...what the Rock...is cookin'." Rock starts out a
house afire on Bossman, but there's an eyepoke. Prince Albert tagged in -
into a Samoan drop from the Rock. 1, 2, nope. Punch, off the ropes,
spinebuster, floatover into a cover for 2. Bossman in, Bossman down,
blatant hit to the jimmy. Albert whipped, reersed, big boot ducked, but
Albert manages to take him over the top rope to the floor. Backstage, we
see Snow & Mankind watching on a monitor. Back to the action, Albert
working over Rock in the corner, tag to Bossman, off the ropes, Big Bossman
big boot - near fall. Textbook piledriver - but Rock kicks out! MANKIND,
sans tie and mask, walks to the ring and climbs up into the corner. Rock
is working over Albert - off the ropes, DDT and both men are down. Mankind
reaching - compare this to the last time we saw these two in action. Rock
is up - there's a tag! Rights to Albert, rights to Bossman, double noggin
knocker, Albert whipped into Bossman. Gutshot, double arm DDT. Going for
the Sock - there it is on Albert - now on Bossman. Rock is in to take care
of Albert. There's the Rock Bottom. People's Elbow. Mankind covers...1,
2, 3. (3:53) Garcia announces the winners as "the Rock & Sock
Connection." Yep, looks like we're coming back HERE again.
Patterson and Brisco knock on Triple H's door - time for his ass-whuppin'!
They're in quite the jovial mood, ain't they? Acolytes vs. Triple H - NEXT!
Vince paces in his cell. Here's the cops - his bail has been posted and
he's being released. The cops tell McMahon not to go back to the
arena...I'm guessing that McMahon won't be following that bit of advice.
WrestleMania 2000 ad #4
Keshia KNOWS what's goin' on!
MechWarrior 3 presents WWF Armageddon 12 December!
TREBLE H v. ACOLYTES in a Handicap match - it's been announced for about a
half hour, though I haven't bothered to get to it until now, that if any of
DX interferes in this matchup, they'll be suspended for thirty days.
Triple H has a new entrance video which features the word "GAME" - yep. Oh
and Chyna isn't in it. Acolytes have still more new music which is a bit
better than the last version. Maybe they shouldn't have bequeathed their
original tune to Mideon and Viscera, but what's done is done. This is also
apparently a "No DQ" match as well. H tries to leave the ring, Acolytes
follow him out. H back in as they go out, now striking Bradshaw before he
can get in, but Faarooq is the man, so hit your knees and start praying.
Bradshaw in, doubleteam is on - off the ropes, double shoulderblock
and Triple H rolls to the outside. The Acolytes follow - Triple H put over
the table - now to the barricade - and over. Taking turns with rights.
Now coming back - back over the barricade. H whipped into the STEEL steps.
Bradshaw hurls half of the steps into the ring. Faarooq rolls H into the
ring. Clothesline from Faarooq and H is over the top rope again. Whip
into the other set of STEEL steps but it's reversed. H up the ramp, but
Bradshaw up from behind to catch up. Right hand. Scoop - and a slam on
the STEEL stage. Right hand, another right hits the scaffolding when H
ducks. H down the ramp - but Faarooq is down there - H tries to sidestep,
getting to the tech table, but the Acolytes have caught up to him. To a
railing...now through the crowd again. Over the barricade and back to the
ringside area. Head to the STEEL steps. Faarooq has a top half of the
steps - Bradshaw whips H into them. Rolled back in the ring - remember,
there's still a set of steps in there. Triple H takes a swipe at referee
"Blind" Teddy Long. Jim Korderas comes out and Faarooq knocks him out.
Now Earl Hebner is out and keeping his distance. Faarooq holding the steps
- Bradshaw runs H into THEM. Now it's time for the double powerbomb. But
they're not going to cover. Faarooq has him up - holding him for the
lariat - can you see what's coming next? Yup, Bradshaw hits his partner.
H manages a chair to Bradshaw, then hightails it up the ramp - of course,
waiting for him at the entryway is BILLIONAIRE VINCE with a chair. WHACK!
And then Vince THROWS HIM OFF THE STAGE! That's a WISE camera angle there
- we don't see Helmsley hit the table, but then we don't see that it wasn't
that far a fall, either. Here's a cut to H laid out. Vince tosses the
chair in his direction, making sure to hit something that'll make a lot of
noise. I think it's over. (5+ minutes or so) There's the credits, and
we'll see you ... Friday?
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net