by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
Here's the short version: bad weather, long layover, hours of holding
pattern, and I slept in. Still, you got it on Friday, babe, so no
I GET LETTERS: Many people wrote me last week to say that Al Snow and The
Droz had a
hardcore evening gown match and shame on me for not mentioning it myself
(if only I had remembered)
Jeremy Poursine is my hookup: Don't worry...you can still get to the
old WWF site, with Blackman content
and entrance video still intact...just go to http://woof2.wwf.com.
Just in case you need the Blackman fix.
The Rock says layeth the smacketh down if ya smell what the Rock is cooking
UPN smell it!
TV-PG-DLV One World Leader Attitude - WWOR - SEACAUCUS!
Highlights from KOR - Shane chokeslammed from a very high point to a very
low one, Vince's elbow is countered with Rock Bottom for the pine, Triple H
said "curses!" and twirled his moustache. "The Next night:" Shawn Michaels
had a major announcement, and introduced Mick Foley as the new commissioner
of the WWF. There was a Triple Threat #1 Contender's match - won by the
Rock, thanks to liberal interference by Chris Jericho. At Fully Loaded,
the Rock will lay the smack down on HIMSELF!
Triple H and Stephanie are WALKING! Over to a cyclone fence with
"COMMISSIONER" on a piece of wood attached to it. This must be Foley's
office - a modified boiler room with a desk. Nice cactus on the desk. H
tells Foley he never lost the title, he was screwed, and he wants his shot.
Foley says he gave him a shot Monday. H says Jericho made sure he got
screwed again. Foley says he doesn't give in to threats or
intimidation...but he'll do the right thing.
Opening Credits - close captioned logo
Pyro alights and it's on one more time - we are on tape 29.6.2K (but taped
27.6) from the Hartford Civic Center and en espanol donde sea disponible!
UPN will tell you all night in case you forget - THIS...is WWF SmackDown!
Say...how about a match?
EDDIE GUERRERO (with That Slut Chyna) and RIKISHI v. VAL VENIS and CHRIS
BENOIT - Let Us Take You Back to Monday where Trish Stratus and Chyna had
what an old employer of mine liked to call..."issues." If you're gonna
call him Rikishi, why not take the "Phatu" out of his entrance video?
Commentators remark on the picture of Sinatra in Foley's office - I must
have missed it. I DID see the Lava Lamp, though...my God, this match is
RIFE with issues! Benoit and Rikishi erupt in punches while Guerrero and
Venis stay inside and THEY work on each other. Benoit out, Rikishi scoop
slam on Venis, tag out. Trademark senton. Off the ropes is reversed, back
elbow by Venis, elbowdrop, tag. Benoit charges in but falls into a
tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Into the ropes is reversed, Guerrero ducks th
eelbow, but Venis puts one in the back. Guerrero shoves HIM off the apron,
then hot shots Benoit. Backdrop suplex gets a near fall. Benoit arm
wringer, off the ropes, Guerrero ducks but Venis lower the bridge and Eddie
goes outside. Venis kicks a field goal and puts Guerrero back in. Benoit
with a backdrop suplex of his own - for 2. Head to the buckle, tag to
Venis, kick, kick, head to the adjacent turnbuckle, into the opposite
turnbuckle with a followup lariat, back to the opposite corner and another
clothesline, Blue Thunder powerbomb, 2. Tag to Benoit. Open kick. Hard
into the corner, gutshot, vertical suplex is attempted but Guerrero lands
on his feet, then rolls up Benoit for 2 - the kickout puts him near Venis,
who throws a KO punch. Tag to Venis. Guerrero put in the corner, but the
charge is met with an elbow. Venis presses Guerrero up from the charge,
but Eddie improvises a dropkick at the top. Hot shot by Venis. Into the
ropes, head down, kick by Guerrero, Venis' clothesline is ducked and
Guerrero opens up - two rights and repeated headbutts. Knuckle lock,
running to the corner and climbing the ropes...Benoit is in as well, so
Guerrero springs off with a 'rana for Benoit while simultaneously hitting
the armdarg on Venis! Forward roll to Rikishi for the HOT TAG! Right
here, right there, double clothesline, Samoan Drop for Benoit, superkick
for Venis, Venis into Benoit, fat ass splash on both men, clothesline for
Venis, but Benoit manages a clothesline on Rikishi. Guerrero in with a
clothesline on Benoit. Now T&A are out, but Albert has to turn back from
the ring when Chyna engages Test. Albert holding her back. TRISH STRATUS
(THE FITNESS MODEL) is out. Now TOO COOL is out and I'm starting to feel
like a sucker for providing play-by-play for this match as referee "Blind"
Teddy Long calls for the bell. (DQ 4:34) The highlight of the post-match
shmozz is Chyna giving Albert a nutshot. Rikishi's music plays as the five
stand in the ring. OH BOY! Chyna and Eddie are gonna dance with Too Cool
and Rikishi! WOW! Suddenly, WHO CARES that that pretty good match was
totally screwed over - LOOK IN THE RING! THEY'RE DANCING! Oy...it's gonna
be one of THOSE nights...
Earlier Tonight, Kurt Angle asks Kaientai that he'd like to be called King
Kurt from now on...he's the equivalent of an emperor...or a warlord...or
head ninja. "Ninja?" "Or whoever rules you guys, but the point is..."
Hardcore Holly appears and interjects. "What the hell are you talking
about? They're not stupid, they're Japanese!" "Excuse me, did I summon
you?" Holly says he'll leave him to his troubled communication
problems...and punts his crown off a chair on his way out. "You just
kicked my crown!" "You don't like me kickin' your crown? How about later
tonight I kick your beep? How ya like me now?" And off he goes. Angle
stands in stunned disbelief. "He kicked my crown!" I'm sensing a new
catchphrase for the Big Shot...I think I'll have to give him a new nickname.
Trash Talkin' Stage ad
Commentators hype "Freedom," a new series coming to UPN. "This looks like
the Matrix!" "Well, it's geared to your demographic - and it's ONLY on
UPN!" That's paraphrasing.
KING KURT ANGLE v. KOOL MOE DEE - "You know something, Hardcore - I don't
make fun of you because you dye your hair (or what's left of it, anyway).
I don't make fun of you because you couldn't afford an orthodontist when
you were growing up, and now you have these protruding bucklike teeth, oh
no. But yet you choose to mock me by kicking my royal crown and costing me
thousands of dollars in damages. To me, you're no different than anyone
else here tonight; in fact, you're just like them - jealous, foul smelling
peasants! I mean, do you realise how hard it is to find a crown repair
shop in this city? It's true - it's true. Or as you people in Hartford
would say - 'it's true - now call me a moving van so I can get the heck out
of this town before I kill myself.'" Holly hits the ring, ducks a
clothesline, and opens up. Right, right, right, into the ropes, knockdown,
clothesline, Angle tries to leav ethe ring, Angle pulls him back in, stomp,
tying him up in the ropes, badmouth, right, right, kick - referee "Blind"
Jack Doan pulls him off as Angle frees himself and steps outside. Holly
follows. Right, to the barricade, another run into the barricade. Right.
Whip into the post is reversed and there's Angle's first offense. Stomp by
Angle, back into the ring we go, field goal kick, right, right, right,
right, right, Doan warns him. Chop! Holly starts to think about the
no-sell. Another chop - Holly peps right back up and reverses positions.
Open-handed slap, another. Into the opposite corner is reversed, but Angle
puts up the foot - then runs smack into a belly-to-belly suplex.
Celebrate, stomp, cover, 2. Vertical suplex by Angle gets another 2 count.
Angle's mouth is bleeding - to the headlock we go. Commentators say that
Jericho's interference on Monday ALSO denied *Angle* his shot at the title.
Holly to his feet and punching out of the hold. Off the ropes, duck,
crossbody by Holly for 2. Holly off the ropes into a big knee from Angle.
Stomp, mount, punch. Doan and Angle have a brief discourse. Angle scoops
up Holly for a slam. Angle to the outside and climbing the ropes - but
Holly makes it over and tosses him. Backdrop suplex from Holly and both
men are down. Well, it's been four minutes, bring on the run-in! Both men
slowly up at 6. Holly with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, into
the ropes, Best Dropkick in the Business. Angle to the ropes - Holly pulls
him off his feet - then kicks in a sensitive area. Jackhammer (?!) for 2.
Into the ropes is reversed, Angle's clothesline is ducked, but he muscles
him to the mat. Stomp on the head. Picking Holly on his shoulders, Holly
punches but Angle manages the powerbomb...for only 2. Right by Angle, into
the ropes is reversed, pickup, Angle down, waistlock, Holly with back
elbows - three - reversing the waistlock...Angle's trick knee acts up.
Scoop...and a slam. Angle on the top ropes - moonsault! Looks like his
feet landed RIGHT on his ....err..."little Hardcore" as well.
Post-production commentary has Cole saying Holly's left arm might have been
broken as well. Holly knees out of the Olympic Slam attempt. They
exchange punches as we check out the Twix Double Feature. Now Angle is in
control...head to the turnbuckle. Into the opposite corner, off the ropes
to try the bulldog but Holly clotheslines him. 1, 2, NO! Angle to the
corner - Holly grabs the leg - but Doan pulls him off, saying there'll be
no "un foul" stuff happening in this match. Of course, irony strikes as
Angle puts an uppercut between his legs after Holly shoves off Doan -
Olympic Slam! 1, 2, 3. (7:23)
Stephanie tells H that Jericho will pay tonight. Mick's intimidated and
he'll give them what they want. Stephanie tells him to calm down, step
outside and get a breath of fresh air...but be careful!
Meanwhile, the Commissioner gives audience to Edge & Christian. They
proclaim themselves a little sore from their match with Kane & the
Undertaker, and don't think they want to defend the titles against the #1
Contenders tonight. Mick says he feels a little bad about what happened
Monday, so there WON'T be a title defense tonight. He says instead that
we'll have some "friendly singles action" and books Christian against Kane,
and Edge against the Undertaker. "You guys are SO gonna get the crap beat
outta ya!" As they walk off, Christian mutters "that's MY line..." Ahh,
THERE'S the picture of Sinatra - Mick sings to it in his style.
"Whooo-ooa...Hit me baby one more time!"
UPN WWF SmackDown bumper - same one - arrrgh
Get ready for Maximum Power - brought to you by RC Edge Maximum Power cola!
>From RAW, Vince received another "final indignity" prior to being written
out...once again. This time, the Rock provides it.
STEPHANIE ONO comes out to "My Time" alone, having sent her husband out for
some fresh air. "She's the only champion left in the family!" Oh man,
this should be painful. Let's pause for this chant of "slut." "I came
here tonight...to the city where I was born - Hartford, Connecticut - to
set the record straight! Triple H did not lose the WWF Championship at
King of the Ring. He didn't - my FATHER did. As a matter of fact, it's
only because of my father and mother's unhealthy relationship that six-man
match was made in the first place. But Hunter and I have an extremely
healthy...and virile...relationship. And I STAND by MY man! And my man
stands by me! That's why tonight, Hunter and I went to the new
commissioner and demanded a match with Chris Jericho - the man that cost
Triple H the #1 Contendership Monday night on RAW. But you know what,
Commissioner Mick? I'm a very impatient woman - and I'm tired of waiting.
So Mick, I DEMAND you come out here...and give me my answer! A woman of my
stature should never be kept waiting." Aw GEEZ. Here comes COMMISSIONER
FOLEY. Big chant of "Foley!" "I didn't know that about Hartford being
your birthplace - that's very touching. A little bit ironic too because I
guess you would probably know that Hartford means quite a bit to me, too.
Because it was in this very building, In This Very Ring, or maybe more
accurately, Through This Very Ring - that your virile husband forced me
into retirement. Steph, what I want you to remember, think back if you can
to the way I looked when I left that ring a beaten man, right? Blood
running down my arm, a little tear in the corner of my eye, streaming down
my cheek - well just four months later, the ironic thing is - look at me
now! I mean, in addition to having a new sleek, aerodynamic haircut, I've
got this huge smile on my face because you and I both know that I can screw
around with your husband's career...just like THAT! And the thing is,
Steph, I don't feel one bit responsible because Triple H brought it all
upon himself - you see, no no he did, because the way I see it is if he
hadn't beaten me In This Very Ring, I'd still be an active wrestler which
certainly means your mom (Linda McMahon) would not have made me the
commissioner of the WWF, which means I would not have been in a position to
make a match to cost your husband HIS #1 Contendership for the WWF title.
Steph, don't get me wrong, I'm not here to make the WWF my personal little
playground, because I think, above all else what I want to do is make sure
everybody - in Hartford, Connecticut (thumbs up) - and around the world
sees one hell of a show tonight!" "We've got the match?" "I guess what
I'm saying...that as the commish, I'm going to grant your wish and I'm
going to give you Triple H and Y2J In This Very Ring! Put 'er there -
yeah! ...as part of a six man tag team match! You see I've given the
matter some thought and I certainly think Y2J and Triple H deserve to be in
there together, and Triple H will have as his partners...X-Pac and the Road
Dogg." "That sounds fair." "It sounds good! And on the other side will
be Y2J and...the Posse, no...Patterson and Brisco, no...no, on the other
side it'll be Y2J and the Dudley Boyz!" Stephanie ponders this. "God I
love the commissionary position. Yeah!" Mankind slaps some hands on his
Chris Jericho is WALKING!
Oh MAN those White Castle burgers look good
wwf.com - new look, same attitude! Now Steve Blackman free.
DX says there should be no problems tonight - the Dudleyz have to still be
feeling the effects of the dumpster ride. Y2J better look out!
THA GODFATHA (with eight - no, four ladies) v. BULL BUCHANAN - "It's
time--" and the music fires up, cutting him off. That's a point for Bull
right there! Did I mention he's got new music? "No, I'm gonna get this
in. Now before I was so rudely interrupted, it's time once again--" but
the giant international "NO" symbol appears on the OvalTron and some beeps
and buzzers overpower the PA. And out comes STEVIE RICHARDS in cropped
hair, slacks and tie. "Steven! The name is Steven, Mr. Godfather! And
I'll tell you what I'm doing out here. I'm doing exactly what I did last
Monday night on RAW. I saved millions and millions of viewers out there in
TV Land from seeing the bare naked breasts of Terri Runnels! Steven
Richards did what the network would not do - he did what the producers of
the program could not do! I personally took the responsibility to censor
what I feel to be vile, profane and unacceptable marketing material! I did
what any respectable organisation would do if they had morals, which this
one does not. And Godfather, I'm giving you fair warning, right here on
SmackDown! to CLEAN UP YOUR ACT! Stop bringing the half-naked women to the
ring! STOP promotiong SEXUALITY! Or Steven Richards will be forced to
censor your activity!" Godfather ready to go out after him, but Buchanan
hits him from behind
and this match is on. Axehandle to the floor. Right, whip into the ring
is reversed, Buchanan skins the cat to avoid the followup, the slides
through with a dropkick. Back into the ring for the standard punchfest.
Buchanan's "will he won't he" leap to the top rope and clothesline off
actually lands perfectly this time. Big boot off the ropes. Right, into
the opposite corner, Godfather puts up a boot. Running clothesline. Off
the ropes, shoulder block. Into the ropes, back body drop. Hey, you think
they'll go off the ropes? Godfather with his "spin around for no reason"
legdrop. Into the opposite corner, Bull gets up to the second rope but
leaps into a fist. Put in the corner, and it's time once again. No,
Buchanan jumps OVER him as he comes in. Godfather dumps Buchanan onto the
apron, Godfather shovs him off. Did Buchanan just strike one of the women?
She comes up pulling her ankle. Godfather puts Bull back in the ring and
makes the mistake of looking ringside as one of the other women tries to
tell him about the pulled ankle of the FIRST woman. This allows Bull to
come in with his "quick camera cut assisted scissors kick" for the pin.
(2:19) That Richards thing could be interesting...if they'd done if the
FIRST time they threated to do it, six months ago.
Kane is WALKING!
Meanwhile, our tag team champions: "What am I gonna do? I'm facing Kane
next...this SO....totally sucks!" "I'll take 'Duh' for two hundred,
please." "I gotta think of somethin'..."
More ads - NEXT! UPN!
Earlier Tonight, we learn that Kurt Angle broke Hardcore Holly's arm with
the moonsault. Of course, that means that the WWF just banned the
moonsault. Grisly spot shadow of the injury in this replay
KANE (with TV-PG-DLV ratings box) v. CHRISTIAN (with Edge - and Edge's
music) - Twix presents Fully Loaded 23 July from the sold out Reunion Arena
in Dallas, Tejas! Twix - it's all in the mix! Edge tries to distract Kane
long enough for Christian to attack from behind...but it has no effect.
Only in 2000 can you use one half of the tag team champions as 80's style
squash fodder - witness Stasiak & Palumbo! Witness...oh wait, ECW doesn't
HAVE tag team champions. Edge attempts to provide some outside
interference, but it works about as well as you'd expect. Christian
FINALLY takes charge with a drop toehold into the STEEL steps. This lasts
until Kane throats Christian on the top rope. Kane up for his flying
clothesline - Christian meets him up on the ropes - Kane throws him down
and goes ahead with the clothesline, which ALMOST impacts before his feet
land, in a shocking change. Back for another heapin' helpin' of SQUASH.
This is what I like to call CANADIAN PRETZELS!! Kane puts Christian into
the corner - only problem was referee "Blind" Jim Korderas was already
there. Christian ducks the followup clothesline - but Korderas doesn't.
Big kick by Kane - Edge in for the spear - but eats a clothesline instead.
With his back to Christian, though, this is the best opportunity to try the
Tomokaze - but Kane breaks free and puts Christian on his shoulders -
Chrsitian punches out and breaks free - off the ropes, into the choke.
Edge in with a chair - Kane has HIM in a choke...damn, the ref must be out
for a reason. Ahhh, THERE'S our run-in...it's TAZZZZZZZZ. And HE'S got a
chair. WHACK for Kane! WHACK! He walks off as Cole asks "what the hell
did he do that for?" Edge & Christian sandwich Kane in a double chairshot.
Christian covers and Edge rousts Korderas. 1, 2, 3! Holy crap! (4:45) I
take back *everything* I said about squashes and jobbers and all
that...except that bit where I made fun of Keith.
Moments Ago, Tazz confused all of us.
LILIAN GARCIA stands with the tag team champions, and congratulates
Christian on his victory. "Yeah, congratulations to me! Man, I don't know
how I did it, but I did - it's like they say: good things SO do happen to
good people, and if I can get past Kane, Edge, I KNOW you can beat the
Undertaker!" "I wasn't 100% sure about it before, but I feel a lot better
about it now. I can SO totally do this!"
Here's a shot of WWF New York! And inside is Jim Ross - or so we're told.
Courtesy: MTV, here's some highlights from yesterday's TRL featuring Wyclef
Jean and the Rock.
And here's the video of Wyclef Jean's "It Doesn't Matter" - well, part of
it. I thought there was SkyDome stuff as well, right? We DO get slo-mo of
Rock kissing a right.
Coincidentally, WYCLEF JEAN is in the front row! Here's a look at his CD
The Dudley Boyz and Chris Jericho share a few uneventful words about their
Meanwhile, Undertaker is WALKING! And ... chewing!
WWF SmackDown! returns in a moment on...
UNDERTAKER (with Kid Rock's CD cover and A Beautiful Titan Bike) v. EDGE
(with Christian - and Edge's music) - Tonight, WWF SmackDown! is brought to
you by RC Edge Maximum Power Cola, Stacker 2, and Castrol Motor Oily!
Earlier Tonight, Tazz came out and attacked Kane for no apparent reason. I
have to admit that my bias comes through here. Since this is the WWF, I
have faith that this "meaningless" attack by Tazz will come together later
and be shown to actually have HAD meaning. If this were WCW, I'd just be
bitching creatively about how much that sucked. As for THIS match,
Christian does HIS bit to provide interference, including distracting
referee "Blind" Tim White long enough to allow Edge to swing a chair.
Punching in the corner...Edge sets up the chair for a boost, but 'Taker
catches him in a choke, anyway. Kick by Edge to break free - going for the
chair again - 'Take catches him in a choke again. Chokeslam! Good night!
(1:47) Christian is in with a chop block, and the tag team champions work
a doubleteam. KANE slowly walks out to help - when he finally hits the
ring, he surprises each man with an uppercut. Kane chokeslams Christian as
Undertaker debuts his "I can't tombstone anymore" powerbomb on Edge.
"American Badass" plays and Undertaker and Edge both give a "power to the
people" fist. Replay of the powerbomb as Cole sells us on how devastating
a powerbomb from the Undertaker could be and we really won't miss the
tombstone at all, will we. I'M NOT BUYING IT! LET THE MAN PERFORM HIS
Al Snow is WALKING! "I gotta be Blackman - no I gotta be me - no I gotta
be Blackman - no I gotta be me--" He walks by a nearby concession stand,
where the shutter opens to reveal Mick Foley. "Well, hello, MICK." Foley
says it's time to let bygones be bygones, and he's gonna give him a title
shot tonight. "Oh, really! Me and the Rock?" Foley does a classic spit
take (mit Pepsi!) and erupts into laughter. Foley says it's a Hardcore
title match..."and bring out that wacky Head thing you used to do...the
people love that!" Snow starts in with facial ticks and walks off: "you're
lucky you're commssioner..." Hey, Lawler spots the spit take!
Highlights of the WWF/Viacom deal, which was cleared Tuesday after the
WWF/USA trial ended. SmackDown! gets three more years on UPN. RAW, the
War Zone, LiveWire and Superstars will move to TNN. Heat moves to MTV.
And there will be more series to come!
Does anyone else think all these shows should change their names once they
move networks? Or would that do more harm than good with a bunch of
already confused wrestling fans unable to figure out how to change the
channel? I'm more in mind that it's the beginning of a new
era...therefore, time for a new show name.
Moments Ago, we're gonna give that powerbomb one more blowjob. PLEASE
accept it - the Tombstone is evil!
WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: AL SNOW (with Head) v. CRASH (with Scale) - Snow
comes out to his old "What does everybody want?" music...and hides under
the ring. Crash officialy has no last name now (effective last Sunday),
but ring announcer TONY CHIMEL mistakenly announces it in his introduction.
Crash goes under the ring to look for weapons - and gets surprised. We
start out on the floor. Snow with a bodyscissors and facebuster on the
STEEL ramp. Snow under the ring - oh no, I spy the bowling ball bag.
Holly (oops) dropkicks a chair into Snow, Van Dam style. Snow comes back -
cable choke. Crash delivers the garbage can lid to the head repeatedly.
Leprechaunrana! Snow comes back with the garbage can. Cover on the ramp -
referee "Blind" Mike Chioda in position - only 2. In the ring we go (?)
Snow with a handicapped parking sign. Holly (oops) over the barricade and
running off - Snow chases after him - and actually catches him! Snow
appropriates a bin of popcorn from a vendor - and takes the bin to Crash's
head - popcorn flying everywhere. Back into the ring. Snow with the
broomstick - breaking it in half and then beating him with half of it.
Snow puts him into the ropes, but Crash ducks the chair swing - gutshot,
DDT onto the chair! Cover - 1, 2, no! To the corner - Snow blocks and
puts Holly's head (oops) into the buckle. Trashcan lid - into the corner,
followup clothesline. And here comes the bowling ball - well first Snow
pulls out a bowling shirt and puts it in - the crowd applauds the
appearance of the bowling ball - and there's the twopin strike. How did
Snow know he was gonna get this match? Maybe *Foley* put the bowling ball
under there - who can say. Snow brings the STEEL steps into the ring, but
Crash manages a chair to the steps to Snow. Crash decides to walk off -
suddenly he remembers he's forgotten his belt and walks back to get it.
Hey, STEVE BLACKMAN lives! And he's walking down the ramp with referre
"Blind" Chad Patton swinging some 'chuks. Crash takes a VICIOUS gutshot
from the nunchuks, and one to the back. Leg is hooked - Patton counts - 1,
2, 3!! Holy crap! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a NEW WORLD Hardcore
champion and a man we can ALL be proud of! (5:41) NOW GET HIM SOME WWF.COM
Speaking of wwf.com, here's some hype for it
Moments Ago, Steve Blackman FINALLY got some well-deserved gold
Coming back to real time, we see the Mean Street Posse laying in wait with
referee "Blind" Mike Sparks and weapons. Blackman heads to his
car...swarm, swarm! But Blackman is ready - the ENTIRE Posse goes down -
as if they ever had a chance. "You want some of this too, boy?" Sparks:
"Uhh..no." That's right, baby, the Hardcore division just got a whole lot
Here's a Special Video Look at Vince McMahon's word picture of his wife -
and farewell speech from RAW.
Jericho asks the Dudley Boyz if they can imagine what it would be like to
powerbomb Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley through a table. Buh-Buh Ray makes a
Yeah, more ads - right after this short bumper
And now, the Right Guard Xtreme Rewind! From RAW, Triple H Pedigrees
Angle, but Jericho pulls him out of the pinfall, then hot shots H into Rock
Bottom - and a pinfall (and #1 Contendership) loss.
D-GENERATION X (with Stephanie Ono) v. THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ & CHRIS THURSDAY
JERICHO - geez, we got like FIFTEEN minutes left in this show. Let Us Take
You Back to King of the Ring, where Tori took a superbomb through a table
despite having already separated her shoulder. What a trooper! By the
way, the Dudleyz LOST that match. Triple H gives the "hold me back"
treatment to Road Dogg & X-Pac as Jericho enters. Looks like D-Von will
start for his team...Road Dogg tells Triple H to take it down a notch -
HE'LL start. He runs at Dudley, who ducks and throws a right, right,
right, right, into the ropes, reversed, hiptoss blocked, hiptoss by Dudley,
in the corner, to the opposite corner, wacky jumpin' elbow. Tag to Buh-Buh
Ray - into the ropes, double shoulderblock. Dudley covers - 2 from referee
"Blind" Dave Hebner. Crowd chanting "table" as Dudley suplexes Dogg -
elbowdrop gets 2. Dogg into the unfriendly corner, right, right, tag to
D-Von, right. Right hand. Into the ropes, reversed, foot in the back by
X-Pac as Hebner is distracted by Jericho - big boot by Dogg. Stomp. Kick,
right, right, Dogg pulls Hebner away as Triple H and X-Pac doubleteam him.
Tag to Triple H. Kick, kick, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp,
stomp, Hebner finally manages to pull him off. X-Pac gets in a few as
Hebner and H have a few words. X-Pac tagged in, kick, kick, Dudley tries
to fight back but X-Pac takes him off the ropes, reversing the whip -
spining heel kick. Tag to Dogg - into the ropes, double clothesline
ducked, and D-Von hits one of his own! Tag to Buh-Buh Ray - clothesline
for each man. Dogg ducks a clothesline but ends up feeling Uncle Slam.
X-Pac over - whip reversed - big sidewalk slam. And there's a shot for
Triple H on the outside as well. Scoop slam for Dogg, "headbutt to the
graun" spot. X-Pac slammed - HE gets a second-rope headbutt to the gruan
as well. Triple H FINALLY gets away from Hebner (who has managed to have
his back to all this trying to keep H out of the action), only to eat a
right hand from Jericho! Dudleyz in the ring, D-Von does his war dance and
administers last rites as Buh-Buh Rays says loud enough to get a pop "D-Von
- get the table!" Cole: "The table's getting a standing ovation!" While
D-Von is outside getting the table, X-Pac sneaks back in and ...eats a
punch from Buh-Buh Ray - oh well, it was a nice idea. It's all breaking
down now - Triple H over to punch D-Von, Jericho over to punch Triple H.
In the ring, X-Pac turns it with a heel kick off the ropes. Dogg with a
surprise clothesline. Back to some semblance of a match. Shoulderblock by
Dogg, tag to Triple H, who walks over to Jericho, drawing him in and
bringing over Hebner so Dudley can be doubleteamed. Off the ropes, high
knee. Cover - 2. Right hand, Dudley tries to punch back - X-Pac tagged in
for the open show. Jericho in again - that doesn't help. X-Pac breaks
into a gallop - there's a broncobuster to Dudley. Tag to Road Dogg.
Snapmare takeover, Ultimo Dragon kick to the bac, rear chinlock. "X-Pac
sucks" chant. Dudley to his feet - elbow, elbowing out, elbow, into the
ropes, Dogg ducks the clothesline, left, left, left, juke, jive, right
actually HITS, wiggly wobbly woomly kneedrop - D-Von breaks up the count at
2. Buh-Buh Ray put in the unfriendly corner, Triple H tagged in. Dudley
comes back, right, right, left, right, left, right, into the ropes, H ducks
the clothesline and hits the neckbreaker. Jericho breaks it up at 2.
Buh-Buh Ray Dudley might want to give up on hitting that clothesline
tonight. H manages to catch up to Jericho and slap him...bringing him in
AGAIN and forcing Hebner to monopolize his time keep him out of the ring
while a doubleteam rages behind him. Triple H to the sleeper. Dudley
fading fast as the crowd comes alive at Jericho's behest. Arm falls once -
arm falls twice - arm does not fall thrice. Shove into the ropes, Dudley
with a sleeper of his own - Triple H quickly shoves out of it - clothesline
is ducked - Buh-Buh Cutter! Cole called it, I'm shocked! Who will tag
first? HOT TAG TO JERICHO! Road Dogg AND X-Pac come in - but *they're*
not on fire, you see. Punch for X-Pac, kick for Road Dogg, off the ropes,
gutshot, off the ropes with a bulldog. X-Pac gets a flying jalapeno after
the clothesline fails. Into the ropes, clothesline ducked, but X-Pac
accidentally hits Triple H following through! Jericho slaps on the Walls
of Jericho, but Triple H manages to come in to break it up. Jericho tossed
over the top rope - but the Dudleys are back in - double neckbreaker!
Commentators calling it 3D, but no dice. Now they ARE setting up Triple H
for 3D, but Buh-Buh Ray gets tripped up and pulled outside as Triple H
holds the ropes. D-Von advances, but takes a gutshot - and a Pedigree.
Triple H covers - Hebner says "wait a minute - Chris Jericho and Road Dogg
were the legal men!" and does nothing. No, check that - he counts the
pinfall. 1, 2, 3. (10:05) Buh-Buh Ray hits Triple H from behind in
mid-pose. Stephanie slaps Buh-Buh Ray - that's, like, a bad idea.
Stephanie assumes the position - but before Dudley can finish the job,
X-Pac is in with a low blow. Jericho in and tossing X-Pac. H up on the
apron to clothesline (a clothesline hits!) Dudley...Jericho to the corner,
springing off with a dropkick that takes Triple H down through the table on
the floor! This is the new intense ANGRY no goofy hairdo no fun mic time
Jericho - warm up to him like an Undertaker powerbomb, baby. Replay of
Jericho's springboard dropkick and H's careful landing. Jericho and the
Dudley Boyz pose in the ring and we're out.
Despite all this manipulation and selling of things I don't wanna buy by
the WWF, the fact that STEVE BLACKMAN won a title automatically makes this
the GREATEST SMACKDOWN! EVER!!
Back to a semi-normal schedule Tuesday - oh wait, Tuesday's a holiday,
isn't it? Well, who knows WHEN you'll see me next. I'll get back to you.
Christopher Robin Zimmerman