by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
RETRO CRZ: WrestleLine would like to rerun selected Nitro recaps until the
debut of the "new" WCW. Check out the old archive at <> and then tell firstname.lastname@example.org which
reports YOU would like to see featured again!
KINGS UPDATE: 50-24, still in first place - one game ahead of the Lakers -
hey, we made the playoffs for sure! AND we still have an outside shot at
beating out the Spurs for the best record in the West! Woo hoo!
TV-PG-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Opening (close captioned) Credits
PYRO A LA MODE and we're off once again - from the sold out Marriot
Convention Centre in Oklahoma City, OK 6.4.1 (taped 4.4) and still deep in
the shadow of the mind-bogglingest WrestleMania of all time, THIS...is WWF
SmackDown! In addition to being transmitido en espanol SAP on the United
TONIGHT: Jim Ross interviews Stone Cold Steve Austin!
TONIGHT: Triple H challenges Chris Jericho for the intercontinental
KANE and TAKER DOT COM (on His Beautiful Snazz.com Advertisement) v. WALL
BUCHANAN & GOODFATHER & STEVEN RICHARDS in a handicap match - "Cut our
music! FACT: It is a proven fact that the media desensitizes our youth to
violence! FACT: If we allow this to continue, our world will be a place of
moral decay and destruction. FACT: If you continue to make these villians
into heroes, then we will put an end to them." Remember when I used to say
"Right to Censor *always* win?" WrestleMania marked a paradigm shift -
yes, a *paradigm shift* - now, the rule is "Right to Censor *always* get
SQUASHED. Stereo chokeslams put out Buchanan & Goodfather. When Kane is
no-selling the Stevenkick, you *know* the salad days are over for the RtC.
Did they have to edit the Last Ride attempt? That crowd shot seemed out of
place. Nonetheless, we get our glorified plate of veggies and Undertaker
pins Richards in (4:18). By the way, it was revealed during the match that
Taker's latest staple count is *23* - nod knowingly with me.
Vince gives props to the Fun Brothers - Austin and Triple H seem less than
impressed. Triple H tells Vince that while Jericho has a lot of great
qualities, he'll kick his (beep) on principle...and walk out with his
title. Turning to Austin, Vince asks how Jim Ross' interview will go.
Austin says he hasn't had a heart-to-heart with good ol' JR in a while, so
he's really looking forward to it. Vince excuses himself to go address an
arena full of Oklahomans. How about a few words from our sponsors while
you go get a snack in preparation for another soliloquy from the Chairman?
Did I actually see an ad for RC? Wow, and for a minute there I was worried
that that "truth." ad had BLINDED me!
Commentators shill "Chains of Love" - I think I'll pass on that one
BILLIONAIRE VINCE saunters out to "No Chance in Hell" and a rousing chorus
of boos. I give 50/50 odds on Vince making a tasteless Timothy McVeigh
comment. (Maybe you meant 100/0 odds on YOU making a tasteless--)
Thaaat's enough. "Well, imagine this: me (Vince McMahon) standing in the
middle of the ring in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma! Well now I can say - now I
can say I've been in all fifty states...and yet another foreign country.
Because that's what it feels like being here in Oklahoma - it feels like
being in a foreign country - a foreign country kinda like...Zimbabwe [oh,
hey Vince], because when I look into the eyes of all these Oklahoma
natives...it's no different than looking into the eyes of Zimbabwe natives.
I've been to Zimbabwe - I know! I saw the same vacant stare on Zimbabwe
natives that I see in your eyes here tonight. You know, that stare
like...maybe you're not quite all there upstairs, you know what I'm sayin'?
But you know... get it out of your system, go ahead! ["Ass hole!"] But
notwithstanding that, I'm not here to insult your intelligence tonight -
that's not why I'm here. Because, quite frankly, I believe the founding
fathers of this state and this city have already done that. You see, they
knew way back then, they knew way back when that you were going to have
limited mental faculties...so therefore, they named the state and the city
the same name, just so you can remember where you come from. But enough of
the history lesson, let's talk current events. Now this may come as a
shock to some of you Oklahomans, as far as current events are concerned,
but Richard Nixon is no longer president of the United States. And by the
way, the Rock is no longer World Wrestling Federation champion! Oh yeah -
not since WrestleMania! Not since Stone Cold Steve Austin beat the Rock
unto oblivion...and took his WWF Championshi with him. Oh, I was there!
It was such a moment - the Rock laying flat on his back after being pinned
by Austin 1, 2, 3, and the Rock looks up, and what did the Rock see? The
Rock saw this - that's what the Rock saw - lookit that! Mr. McMahon and
Stone Cold Steve Austin shaking hands! Now I'll admit - I'll admit Austin
and I have not always seen eye to eye, so to speak. Nonetheless, I was
very proud and impressed with Stone Cold's actions and deeds at
WrestleMania...but the next night, last Monday night on RAW is WAR, I was
even more impressed with Austin, because Austin granted - he didn't have to
- Austin himself granted the Rock a rematch for the title in a steel cage!
Now then, as a result of that match - once again, the Rock on his
back...battered, beaten, and broken by Stone Cold Steve Austin! And the
Rock looked up - in his blurred vision, he couldn't believe his eyes when
he saw...this. Yeah, there it is! Now many of you may have wondered why -
WHY - why Austin, McMahon, and Triple H together? Well, perhaps - perhaps
those questions will be asked and answered here tonight because, you see,
Stone Cold has consented to a special interview with a native son of
Oklahoma, Good Ol' JR right here tonight. But for the benefit of those of
you who, here in Oklahoma, don't have television - let me take you back to
the closing moments of RAW is WAR and show you some footage of the steel
cage match. All right, here we are - Austin all over the Rock. Is there
any hope? (Superstars of Wrestling voiceover voice:) Can there be someone
to help the Rock? Yes - here he comes - the white knight in shining armour
- here comes my son-in-law Triple H! He enters the ring with a
sledgehammer - Triple H shoves his father-in-law out of the way and then he
stares Stone Cold Steve Austin down. Austin looks back in the eyes of
Triple H - what are they to do with all the history between the two of
them? There's gotta be something we can do - will we tear each other
apart? (black and white shot to obscure Austin's blood) We might - we've
done that, but - oh oh oh - NO! Look what happened! Triple H and Stone
Cold, collectively, do a number on the Rock - DOWN with the Pedigree!
That's not enough - DOWN with the Stone Cold Stunner! Oh yeah! And then
from there, yeah - the toast - McMahon - Austin - and Triple H! Now that
was beautiful. That was a good little piece of business. Oh yeah. ["Rock
E!"] Oh yeah? Oh really? You expect the Rock to come down here tonight?
You expect the Rock to come in here and beat Mr. McMahon up? You expect
the Rock to have a little retaliation on Stone Cold and...well on Triple H
as well, huh? Well I've got great news for ya. It gives me great pleasure
to announce to you tonight that...the Rock will not be here tonight. Now,
wait a minute...if you're a Rock fan, you'll know why in a moment, because
if the Rock were here tonight, the same thing would happen to the Rock that
happened last Monday night. Austin and Triple H would DESTROY the Rock,
they would beat him repeatedly - and the night after that, and the night
after that. So as an act of benevolence, I have indefinitely suspended the
Rock from WWF action. And I did it all...in the interest of fairness. I
thank you very much! Have a pleasant evening!"
Jim Ross watches a monitor....and shakes his head.
XFL on UPN ad
And now, the Smack of the Night! proudly presented by Foot Locker! From
WrestleMania, Chyna squashes Ivory and wins the Women's Championship
Your hosts are MICHAEL KING COLE & TAZZZZZZZZZZZ. We crowned five new
champions at WrestleMania, and as "My Way" plays for the first time
tonight, we take a look at Eddie Guerrero, Kane, and Edge & Christian.
JONATHAN COACHMAN stands backstage with THAT SLUT CHYNA, who looks...really
odd tonight. She's proud of the inspiring example she's set for women
*and* men around the world. If you change for others, you're only as good
as your critics are. She fought for what she believed in and she fought
for who she is - and what she is now is the Women's champion...and she's
pretty damn proud of that.
Earlier Today, 2Xtreme visited the commissioner - Regal congratulated them
for their performance at TLC II, but warned them not to associate with the
owner of a rival organisation (that means Shane, if you missed it). Then
he tells Jeff he's booked in singles action against the Big Show.
LILIAN GARCIA asks Jim Ross what he's going to ask Austin later tonight.
Ross says the fans deserve some answers...so he'll be asking some tough
Hey, new Kane Stacker 2 ad! Kane rides a scooter! You know, I bet he
actually goes out and DOES that in real life
Oh, but Kane's STILL in the express line with too many items...
And now, the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by LUGZ! From RAW, Rhyno
gores Crash, Molly somersault Thesz presses Rhyno, and Rhyno gores Molly.
In the locker room, William Regal (now dressed for action) catches up to
Kurt Angle and makes sure he realises the effort he's gone to to book them
against Chris Benoit in a handicap match. Angle sucks up to him, but
requests that *he* finish the match tonight...with an anklelock. Regal
suggests his Regal Stretch would do a fine job of finishing as well. Angle
laughs...then realises he was serious. "Okay, Regal Stretch. Yeah,
that'll be fine." He taps him in his hamburger chest and walks off.
K-KWIK (with WWF: The Music [Volume 5] CD cover) v. RHYNO - Kick by Rhyno,
overhand forearm, right, right, right, right, right, into the opposite
corner, spear in the corner. Running boot to the head. Right. Right.
Into the ropes, Kwik ducks and hits a side kick. Right by Kwik, right,
right, into the ropes, reversed, flying headscissors by Kiwk, nips up,
superfluous splits, right, right, right, into the corner is reversed, Kwik
up and over, backflips, superfluous backflip, botches the landing...the
runs into the Gore. 1, 2, 3. (1:26) Tazz says you can't pull that crap
against Rhyno. Post-match, CRASH punks out Rhyno from behind...but the
whip into the ropes is reversed and *again* the light heavy champ gets
gored. I can see they received my petition!
Kurt Angle and William Regal are WALKING! Will they get along?
Meanwhile, Chris Benoit is WALKING! Their match is NEXT!
"Mick Foley: Hard Knocks & Cheap Pops" video ad
"WWF: The Music (Volume 5)" ad - get it at Target!
Moments Ago, Crash let loose with punches in bunches...and had absolutely
During the Break, Edge & Christian congratulated Rhyno on his destructo job
- Christian suggested he grab a shower and they can get something to eat.
Rhyno: "No, I'm ready to go now - I'LL DRIVE!" Edge is glad he's on THEIR
WILLIAM REGAL (with Heat hype - Regal hosts!) and KING KURT ANGLE (with Let
Us Take You Back to RAW) v. CHRIS BENOIT (with "WWF: The Music [Volume 5]"
CD cover) in a handicap match, all three men in the ring simultaneously -
it may be just me, but I've got an inkling that Jericho just *might* figure
into this match down the line. Benoit goes for Angle, so Regal hits him
from behind - into the ropes, back elbow by Regal - Angle with a waistlock,
Benoit's trick knee acts up. Going for a crossface (!) on Regal but Angle
recovers in time and boots him in the head. Right, right, into the ropes,
Benoit holds on, ducks the swing and hits a German suplex. Regal gets a
German suplex. Angle gets a German suplex. Regal gets a German suplex.
Angle gets a German suplex. Regal gets a German suplex. Tazz wonders why
that isn't him in there - well, he SHOULD. Anyway, the crowd pops as
Benoit looks around - "eh? What's that, a pop?" Benoit dares Angle to get
up - Regal with a forearm to the back, Benoit punches him out. Gutshot for
Angle, rammed shoulder-first into the post...and he rolls outside. Benoit
with a chop on Regal's already red chest - into the ropes, no, Regal holds
on, full nelson, standing switch, dragon suplex (!) with release,
crossface...and Regal...waits for Angle to break it up - Benoit puts the
crossface on *Angle* - Regal kicks Benoit in the face to break it up. Kick
by Regal, kick, stomp by Angle, Euro uppercut by Regal, NICE German suplex
by Angle. Both men lay in the boots. "Angle sux!" chant. truth. presents
the Double Feature of the double crossface by Benoit as Regal hits a nice
butterfly suplex. Angle with a death suplex. Bit boog by Regal, stomp,
stomp, stomp, Angle joins in the stomping as Regal stands on Benoit's neck.
Into the ropes, double clothesline ducked - German suplex by Benoit on
Regal, but Angle hits a belly-to-belly on Benoit! Angle celebrates...and
Regal walks over to put on the Regal Stretch. Angle doesn't mind - he
grabs the free leg and applies the Anglelock! Benoit has no choice but th
tap. (2:59) Regal lets up but Angle won't relent on his hold. Regal asks
him to let go...then shrugs when Angle refuses. Referee "Blind" Jack Doan
asks Regal to help him out - Regal shrugs again. Four more REFS come out -
but again Angle sits firm. I wonder what'll happen next - why, yes, CHRIS
THURSDAY JERICHO will come out and chase away...well, practicaly everybody.
I wonder if these four men have a tag team match in their future? Jericho
and Benoit will probably have to stop giving each other nasty looks before
that happens, though...
In his office, Vince tells Jim Ross he'd better calm down and relax during
his interview - then he DARES him to ask "the tough questions. Good luck,
Ahhh! Bill Kazmeier for Met-Rx! SCARY!
And now, the Blast of the Night - sponsored by JVC's Somethingorother Tube
- from WrestleMania, Edge & Jeff Hardy reprise the ladder spear spot - and
Ross reprises his "my God in heaven, he's broken in half" spot
KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY stands with MRS. AUSTIN (and the TV-PG-DLV ratings box)
- as the Rock's former manager, does she feel any sympathy for the Rock
after what happened on Monday? "Well, I thought what happened was totally
unfair and uncalled for." Kelly asks if that means she disapproves of her
husband's actions. Debra declines to answer, saying she doesn't want to
talk about her personal life. Kelly asks how she views his actions on a
professional level, then. Debra again declines to answer, and walks off
WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW (with SmackDown! is brought to you by Foot Locker,
Whacko Tobacco, and "WWF: The Music" [Volume 5 - get it at Target!]) v.
JEFF HARDY (with Matt Hardy & Lita - and Let Us Take You Back to Last
Thursday) - Jeff slides under...but well it's a big press...and drop. In
the corner, into the opposite corner hard, and Jeff flops around like a
fish in a desert. Well it's a big headbutt. Well it's a big back elbow -
and another. Well it's a big double choke...and drop. Show dares him to
get up - well it's a big headbutt. Into the ropes, Hardy ducks, dropkick
lands. Off the ropes - but it's a big belly-to-belly suplex. Matt on the
apron - well it's a big right. Show goes outside and drops him on the
barricade. Show turns to Lita - does she want some? Nope, off she goes -
into the ring - out of the ring - referee "Blind" Jim Korderas warns him to
stick with his match, and Show shoves him aside. Lita is up top in the
meantime - off the top - but Show has her in the choke!! Jeff manages a
double sledge in the back to prevent the chokeslam on Lita, but at what
price? Well it's a big scoop slam. Did he just signal that he's going up?
Show between the ropes - Show up to the top rope - going for a ... senton?
Whatever it was, it missed. Lita up top - moonsault hits - hey, is that
legal? Matt with a legdrop from the top - Jeff with a swantonbomb - all
three pile on for a cover - Korderas quick counts a three and gives it to
Hardy (3:08) - then all four of them quickly head up the ramp with Show in
hot pursuit. Yow!
IT'S TOUGH TO BE THE ROCK - at least, on "WWF: The Music (Volume 5)" it is
Kane skooter Stacker 2
Kane items or less Stacker 2
I know you were dying for a glance at WWF New York, so here it is
Moments Ago, Big Show ticked everybody off - and paid the price
Show stalks backstage looking for the Hardy Boyz...unfortunately, he first
finds the Fun Brothers, who do a pretty good job of working him over.
Taker: "Next time, KNOCK!"
X FACTOR (with Let Us Take You Back to Monday) v. TOO LETHAL (with "WWF:
The Music [Volume 5]" CD cover) and THA 1 BILLY GUNN - Katie, bart the
door, it's a Pier Six brawl - out go X-Pac and Credible - Gunn and Blackman
with a double suplex on Albert, delayed by a top-rope plancha by Sexay. HE
goes out, clearing the ring of heels. After a strategy session, Sexay
brings 'Pac in the hard way and we're ready for one-on-one. Into the
ropes, reveresed, Sexay ducks, slides under, kick caught, enzuigiri by
Sexay. Fistdrop misses, and 'Pac tags Credible. Sexay ducks, gutshot,
neckbreaker, tag to Blackman - into the ropes, Blackman lifts him up, then
helps him down with a karate chop to the back of the neck. Into the ropes,
missile shoulderblock! Did he just do a one-armed pushup? Is he trying
out for Miss Fitness? Free shot for Pac, but Albert catches the free kick
- and 'Pac gets in a spinning heel kick. Credible goes out so we'll
pretend it's a tag. 'Pac crotch chops Gunn to bring him in and distract
referee "Blind" Tim White - but this leaves Sexay to ram 'Pac into Albert -
then dive off the apron- but Albert catches him and yaaaaaah runs him into
the STEEL post! Back in the ring, 'Pac is karate chopping Blackman,
lightning leg drop, head to the buckle, tag to Credible, kicks aplenty from
Credible, right, right, tag to Albert, into the ropes, yaah hiplock but
Blackman lands on his feet and stops it - back kick, right, off the ropes
but Albert clotheslines him down. Yaaaaah into the corner,
yaaaaaavalanche, Blackman goes down hard. Catapult into the second rope.
Tag to 'Pac - holding him for the kick, right, tag to Credible, into the
ropes, double cloteshline is ducked, split legged dropkick by Blackman
takes out both men! Will he get the tag? Yes! Here comes Gunn (Sexay
STILL out on the floor) - clothesline for Credible, clothesline for 'Pac,
right for Credible, right for Albert on the apron, 'Pac into the ropes,
tilt-a-whirl slam...but Credible gets him from behind - whip into the ropes
is reversed, Gunn hits the cobra clutch slam...Albert is in before he can
cover, but Gunn hits a right and clotheslines him out - 'Pac clothesline
HIM out, Blackman pulls 'Pac out and gives him a right, and another right.
Sexay is back up and up top - hip hop drop on Credible! But he hurt
himself as well. Gunn (who may be the legal man) is back in to hook the
leg - 1, 2, Albert saves. Blackman back in and on Albert - right, right,
X-Pac with an X Factor on Gunn and puts Credible's arm over him - White
turns back - 1, 2, 3. Wow, X-Pac did NOT take the fall. I'm amazed!
Jericho warms up backstage - Stephanie pays him a visit and wishes him
luck. She's not petty - she doesn't want revenge for what he did to her
match with Trish on Monday - no, no - instead, her husband will take him
apart...and take his belt. Jericho says if she even thinks of interfering
tonight, he'll make her scream louder than her ass clown of a husband ever,
EVER, has. "See ya out there, sweet cheeks!"
When we come back, McMahon is telling Austin that JR is shaking in his
boots - he's either excited, or intimidated. He asks Austin to make his
homecoming special. "He's a real special person in my life - I'll give him
some special answers." Austin walks off as Stephanie enters with a tape of
Linda - she isn't sure he should watch it, but Vince urges her to play it...
"Well, hello, Vince. As you can tell at WrestleMania, and as you can
plainly see now, I am no longer medicated. I have regained my full mental
faculties, and I am operating strongly as the CEO of the World Wrestling
Federation. Now I'm still using the name McMahon - but I have to tell you,
Vince, after all you've done...and all that's happened...I really am
debating whether or not I should make a change. But there is one McMahon
who stands very tall - my son (Shane). And as difficult as I know it was
for Shane, he was able to stand up for what HE believes in, and I am so
proud that he was able to face you - his own father - at WrestleMania. Oh,
and...speaking of WrestleMania, Vince, I can't tell you how good it felt to
kick you in um, well how was it you so delicately put it - your gonads? I
could kick you in a lotta places, but I really know where it hurts the
most, and I have to tell you that this coming Monday night, I'm going to
tell you just where that is. I'm going to stand In That Very Ring, and I'm
going to let you know where it'll hurt you the most. Oh, and...one more
thing." "Hi Linda, it's nice to see you again." "Well hello Mick!" "Hi
Vince!" "What do we got here, a couple of grapefruits?" "Grapefruits,
yeah - we're sending out a symbolic gesture." "You know, Vince, you've
always said actions speak louder than words?" "They really do." And she
slices each grapefruit in half. "Oh my goodness! Unbelievable!" "See ya
Vince comically looks at his groin. Ho ho ho.
Jim Ross is WALKING!
WWF: The Music (Volume 5) ad again
Here's a look at the rustic exterior of the Marriot Convention Center.
Here comes LARRY KING, who has been suffering from depression all week over
this Austin situation. "It's always great to be around WWF fans wherever
we are around the world, but...by God I gotta tell ya it's great to be back
home!" I thought he lived in Connecticut. "Folks, tonight I have the
opportunity to talk to the new WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin. I
think that there's a lot of questions that need to be answered by Stone
Cold, I think you deserve an answer, our fans at home deserve an answer,
so...without further ado here tonight, I'd like to introduce to you the new
World Wrestling Federation champion...STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN." Austin
tosses the belt into the ring, shoots Ross a look and hits the first of the
four corners for a pose. Each time Austin looks directly at Ross before
hitting a corner. Finally he stops in front of Ross - Austin has his own
mic, now. "Rock E!" Austin doesn't appreciate the chant - but his look
only seems to encourage booing from the fans. Before Ross can speak,
Austin raises a hand to keep him silent. Again, Austin reacts visually to
the crowd's noise. Now. "There's a lotta things I'd like to talk to you
about in private...that hadn't been made possible. But this is not about
me and you. I just think there's a lot of questions, Steve, that - that
you should answer for the fans around the world, and...I, the first
question, I think is the most obvious one: is that why in God's name have
you aligned yourself with Mr. McMahon, a human being that I know, in your
heart, you have despised more than anybody walkin' the face of the earth?"
"Well that's a pretty simple answer: it's an insurance policy, Jim. How
stupid are ya? I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin. (boos) I said, I'm Stone
Cold Steve Austin-- (boos) I said, I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin, and that
just-- (boos)" Austin makes another mean face. "I just made the single
biggest comeback in the history of our business. A successful comeback, I
might add. Did you think I was so stupid to roll into WrestleMania without
an insurance policy? I'm right there in my backyard - Houston, Texas -
WrestleMania, the biggest pay-per-view in the industry, and I'm just - look
at me when I'm talking to you - and I'm not gonna roll in there without an
insurance policy? Like I'm gonna take a chance on bein' a loser? No sir!
Vince McMahon is an insurance to Stone Cold Steve Austin then, and he will
continue to be so in the future." "All right...but, Steve, don't ya think
- don't ya feel any - any remorse for turning your back on the millions of
fans around the world that have supported you?" "Rock E!" "I really don't
appreciate the response I'm gettin' right now. Why in the hell would I
feel remorse for anything I've done, Jim? When did Stone Cold ever say
'hey, I love to be a hero - I wanna be a hero, I wanna be these people's
hero.' When did you ever hear Stone Cold Steve Austin say that? When have
you ever heard me say 'yeah, I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin and I care about -
and I love the WWF fans?' When have you heard me say that? You've *never*
heard me say that, have you? And you sit there behind your stupid little
desk every week and you go, 'the Rattlesnake, the Rattlesnake, the
Rattlesnake' - hello, Jim! I come out here and I say DTA - Don't Trust
Anybody - and especially don't trust Stone Cold Steve Austin. I don't feel
sorry for one single soul out here in this Godforsaken town or in America
or anywhere in the damn world." "All right. Well you don't care about the
fans anywhere. I guess that's your prerogative." "Are you sassin' me?"
"No." "Don't you dare sass me. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes. Next
question: Monday night on RAW, you stood in the ring, right next to a man,
Triple H, that orchestrated the most elaborate conspiracy to run you down
like roadkill with the express thought in mind to put you out of the WWF
forever. How can you become, all of a sudden, an ally to Triple H?" "Are
you gonna talk about Triple H behind his back? Because Triple H ain't out
here to defend himself, you're gonna talk trash about Triple H, is that
it?" "I'm just ask--" "Shut up. I'm talkin'. When I talk, you listen.
Shut the hole in your face. If that man was sick enough to run over Stone
Cold Steve Austin with a car - if he was sick enough to try to put me out
of this business, and he was not successful, but if he was sick enough to
do that, wouldn't you want him on your side too? And I'll tell you right
now, if you want any more of an answer of Stone Cold Steve Austin about
that question, you'll have to beat it out of me. Do you understand what I
just told you?" "I heard you, Steve." "Look at you. Your little cowboy
hat, your little glasses, your stupid little belt buckle...look at me! You
look like you just lost your best friend." "Well you know...maybe I have.
You know, I - I can remember when you came out of surgery, there was one
person in the WWF that was there - it was me. And on Super Bowl Sunday,
three weeks after your spinal surgery, there was one person you talked to
on national television - and that was me. And the one person that called
you time and time again when you were healin', that said 'Stone Cold, don't
you give up - you'll be back in the WWF, and you'll be the WWF Champion' -
that was me, Steve. And the only people from the WWF that you and Debbie
invited to your wedding was me and my wife, so yeah, Steve, I do feel like
I'm losin' my best friend...and it don't feel good." "Lemme see if I can
sort through all this sentimental crap and get down to the bottom line -
you're telling me right now Stone Cold Steve Austin turns up the voltage
and you don't wanna be my friend no more?" "I never said that - I never
said that." "It sounds to me like you said you don't wanna be Stone Cold
Steve Austin's friend." Austin knocks off the hat - and removes Ross'
glasses. "Does that make you mad? I knocked your little cowboy hat off, I
pull your glasses off, huh? Does that make you mad?" Austin pulls open
Ross' shirt, breaking off a button. "You wanna punch me, hillbilly boy,
right here in your hometown?" "No, Steve. No--" "Go ahead, you little
mealy-mouthed (beep) - take your best swing at Stone Cold - *your old best
friend!*" "I think...this interview was a mistake. Interview over.
Sorry." Ross turns his back - and Austin puts a forearm there to take him
down. Austin gets to stomping, then drops down and starts unleashing
punches. BILLIONAIRE VINCE is out. "Wait a minute - stop it stop it stop
it - dammit, stop it right now! What do you think you're doin'? What do
you think you're doing, Austin? That's your best friend out there, and
you're takin' it easy on your very best friend. Dammit, Steve, come on -
OPEN HIM UP! OPEN HIM UP! GET HIM! GET HIM! COME ON! GET HIM! BEAT
HIM, STEVE! BEAT HIM! STOMP A MUDHOLE IN HIM!" Ross's forehead *is*
opened up. "Teach that son of a (mute) a lesson!" Austin drops the elbow
and stomps away. Austin removes his belt and reattaches it to Austin's
neck. The REFS are out but they're afraid to get in the ring. Crowd
chants for Rock...but he's not coming tonight. Austin pulls Ross to the
centre - opens up the legs - and stomps in a most painful place. Austin
looks to McMahon - who smiles - Austin looks back to Ross...grabs his title
belt, and mounts him. Now he's rubbing the title belt into Ross' face!
McMahon is grinning ear to ear as Austin's music hits again.
Back in the dressing room, Triple H has a laugh at what's on the monitor as
As Austin makes his way back up the ramp...HE is smiling as well.
XFL on NBC ad
Moments Ago, from a different angle. For those of you keeping track (Tom),
I believe the bleeped word was "bastard."
The EMT's work on Jim Ross backstage - I give him .2 Muta, Dean.
WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: THE NEW MAN (with Stephanie Can't Act - and
the WWF: The Music [Volume 5] CD cover) v. CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO - Referee
"Blind" Mike Chioda attempts to hold back Triple H while Jericho makes his
way to the ring, but fails - H knocks him off the apron and into the
barricade. H out - Jericho into the STEEL steps. H drops him on the
barricade once again. Rolled in the ring, and here's our opening bell.
Head to the buckle, kick, kick, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp,
stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, give or take one stomp I
think. Big right by H as the crowd starts up a "slut" chant. Stephanie
instinctively puts her hand on her hip and leaves it there for the rest of
the night. Into the opposite corner, but Jericho springs out with a
clothesline. Running clothesline. Mount, nine rights. Chop by Jericho,
another big chop, into the ropes, head down, kick by H, off the ropes but
Jericho backdrops him to the floor! Jericho with a springboard dropkick as
H gets on the apron - H's head hits the apron on his way down! Jericho
going up - PLANCHA to the floor!! truth Double Feature - yup. And now *H*
hits the STEEL steps. Jericho takes H onto the announce table - right,
right, right, right, right, Chioda tries to get them off but nothing doing
- Jericho stands on the table and hits a right. H shoves him to the floor,
but Jericho lands on his feet - another right for H! H rolled in - Jericho
on top - but H sidesteps the missile dropkick! Did Jericho land on his
knee? He's really holding it for our benefit now. H pounces - big-time
choke on the second rope. Chioda pulls him off and gives him a warning -
allowing Stephanie to sneak in a slap behind his back. Jericho with
"Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, H with a gutshot...and DDT! For
2. In the corner, H climbs to the second rope and hits fifteen rights -
crowd fails to count along - I think that makes him a heel. Jericho put in
the ropes...H with a sleeper! Crowd chants "Y2J" but it doesn't appear to
be helping...Cole: "Jericho, with the heart of a lion" - hmm. Now Jericho
has managed to turn into the hold - elbow, elbow, right breaks it, right,
right, H with a knee in the gut. Jericho put in the ropes, Jericho ducks
the clothesline and hits a flying jalapeno! Right hand by Jericho, right,
chop, H put in the ropes, Jericho's head down, facebuster by Triple H. H
stands poised - gutshot, setting up for the Pedigree but Jericho breaks the
hold and drops him down with a double leg takedown! Trying for the Walls
but Triple H won't let him turn him! Jericho decides to hit a WOW Catapult
instead - Triple H hits the buckle with his head - Jericho with the bulldog
- Jericho with the Lionsault!! But Stephanie is up on the apron and Chioda
misses the chance to count to a hundred. Jericho over - he's got Stephanie
by the hair - will he kiss her again? Will he punch her? Will he wait for
Triple H to pull him off? Yes. Jericho ducks the clothesline, double leg,
WALLS OF JERICHO!! Triple H is *TAPPING* but again Chioda is trying to get
Stephanie off the apron - she's actually pulling him away from seeing
what's going on behind him. COMMISSIONER REGAL is out with a chair -
Jericho relinquishes the hold on Triple H, gutshot for Regal, grabs the
chair - WHACK!! Stephanie is IN the ring now - Jericho blocks the slap,
pulls back on her hair - no way, he's got HER in the Walls of Jericho!
Stephanie taps (like that'll help) - Triple H has the chair - WHACK.
Chioda was trying to get Regal out of the ring, but turns around - 1, 2,
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Triple H actually seems amused that Jericho managed to
kick out...but his smirk quickly turns to a sneer as the "Y2J" chant fires
up. Gutshot, PEDIGREE, oh no. 1, 2, 3. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a
new intercontinental champion. (7:30)
Austin enjoys a beer while watching on the monitor - he's rather pleased as
well. Must be a good beer.
Here's a replay of the chairshot, the kickout, the Pedigree, and they don't
show the 3 this time. Oh, we're outta time, that's why. One last shot of
the Helmsleys with arms raised, credits, and I got a plane to San Diego
(but no surfing, Fonte). Toodles!
Christopher Robin Zimmerman