FOLLOW-UP: VERY shortly after the RAW report came up, the domain name
"ecwdudleyboyz.com" WAS registered....by "WCW, Inc." I can only hope that
my cheque is in the mail.
Man, I'd LOVE to take "credit" for "breaking" this "story" - only 1Bob
reported it on *Thursday* as if nobody'd noticed it up until then, so I
guess I can't.
Meanwhile, in other domain news, Joey Styles finally decided to renew
"ecwwrestling.com," just in case it turned out somebody would be
interested in paying him big bucks for it. This happened - get this -
The final piece of the puzzle comes when you try to put
"www.ecwwrestling.com" into your web browser...and get directed to ANOTHER
site co-owned by Styles. I'll spare you finding out for yourself that
that site...is none other than... 1wrestling.com.
I'm Paul Harvey...
OTHER THREADS: For MY money, the best place to keep up on what exactly is
going on with ECW's bankruptcy, WWF's treatment - or ignorance - of it,
and why YOU should care about all this is the message boards of the
Other Arena. Block out about an hour, though - there's a LOT of
angles (and I don't mean "angles") to wade through, but after you're done
with all of it, you can definitely bet that you'll be a lot smarter (and I
don't mean "smarter" - or do I).
OTHER PLUGS: Somewhere on this very site is a "read about it before you
can see it" report of a very special episode of WCW Classics! Turner also
sent me some slides - HILARIOUS pictures of Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair -
but I couldn't figure out a way to get them scanned with the equipment I
had (meaning, "I have no slide attachment or whatever") - still, I
encourage all of you with Turner South to catch the show NEXT Sunday the
22nd....that is, if you're not paying to watch a little PPV show it
happens to be up against...
Notice anything different about this "UPN Thursday" bumper? Like, maybe
Eddie Guerrero and Chyna are REUNITED...on the cutting room floor,
replaced by Team Extreme and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley? This MEANS
something - or maybe not; they have ECW's Dudley Boyz still in there...
One World Leader Attitude - TV-PG-DLV - WWF!
INVASION: Did you know that this week I set a RECORD for most pageviews on
a RAW report? Well...on THIS site, at least. They never told me about my
numbers on the other places. Anyway, you probably know *all about* THESE
clips so you don't need me to tell you to go read the RAW report
Earlier Tonight, the Undertaker glowered...because he and Vince McMahon
were in the same room. Vince offers the Hand of Friendship - Taker don't
budge. "All right - but a deal is a deal. I gave you what you wanted
tonight, okay? I gave you exactly what you wanted. Even though you've
got Kurt Angle as your tag partner, maybe you didn't ask for that, but you
asked for Shane McMahon - you asked for DDP in the ring with you tonight,
and by God you've got them - so therefore, you're going to do ME the
honours of being on Team WWF at inVasion, right?" "Deal's a deal, right?"
"A deal is a deal, and by the way - how's Sara?" "How 'bout you not worry
about how Sara is." "I didn't - I just meant with what DDP--" "I know
what you meant. In fact I don't think I ever want to hear her name come
outta your lips again. A deal's a deal. Don't screw with me - because
tonight, somebody WILL take the Last Ride. You screw me over...WCW is
gonna be the least of your problems."
Opening Credits - one shot of Bubba Ray lingers on, but this is pretty
much a "WWF-only" package...well, if you allow that Stephanie is still a
part-owner of the WWF
PYRO AWAY - coming to you on tape from the BJCC in Birmingham, AL (taped
10.7) and airing 12.7.1, transmitido en espanol SAP on UPN and the Score,
and oh baby
TONIGHT: DDP & Shane McMahon take on Kurt Angle & Undertaker!
Your hosts are a pair of kings - MICHAEL STONE COLE & LARRY KING.
We begin with "Brand New Money" bringing SHANE O. MAC & THE WCW to the
ring - Page out front, Booker behind, and there's ... the rest. Hey, Hugh
Morrus! I remember THAT guy. Crowd boos. "Well, allow me to get right
into this because tonight, In This Very Ring, WCW will show its dominance,
because tonight...it's DDP...and me...taking on the WWF's Olympic Gold
Medalist Kurt Angle...and Sara's husband, the Undertaker. Now lemme get
back to last Monday night, because last Monday night WE SHOCKED THE WORLD!
WE SHOCKED THE WORLD! Nobody saw it coming, nobody and all! Why, and
what happened - the merger of the most powerful entity ever created to
take on the World Wrestling Federation - its fiercest competitor was
formed when WCW joined ECW! Yes, and that combination, at inVasion, will
kick the WWF's (beep) as I said before. But you know what, I can't take
all the credit as much as I would like to, because I also had a little bit
o' help, so without further ado please allow me to introduce to you, being
led to the ring by PAUL HEYMAN, give it up, one time, give it up everybody
on your feet for my sister STEPHANIE McMAHON-HELMSLEY, the new owner of
ECW!" And as "This is Extreme" plays, here they are - God, if we ever
find out he's bonking her it'll be official - Russo *is* back. And, in
single file here come Dreamer, Rhyno, Raven, Storm, the Dudleyz, Awesome,
Credible, van Dam and Tazz. Shane's trying to DANCE to this song - it
ain't workin'. Paul: "I think by now it's common knowledge that the WWF
and Vince McMahon TOOK all of ECW's concepts! I think by now it's common
knowledge that the WWF and Vince McMahon TOOK ECW's Attitude! I think by
now it's common knowledge that Vince McMahon and the WWF TOOK ECW's talent
roster! And I think by now it's common knowledge that Vince McMahon and
the WWF took ECW's cable National Network, which ultimately ran us out of
business! So if Vince McMahon is gonna take everything from MY life, I'm
gonna take everything from HIS. I took Vince McMahon's...children! You
see, I'm the one that's in Shane and Stephanie's ear, and Vince, this is
something you should pay very close attention to...because while you
me up on the phone and said 'Pal, HAHAHAHAHA, I ran your company out of
business but...I'll put you next to JR - I'll let you sit in Jerry
Lawler's chair as the colour commentator, next to that PIG, and while I
was sitting next to JR, *I* was the stooge - *I* was the mole, that fed
Shane McMahon all the information that he needed, so that Shane could
perfect his brilliant plan to steal WCW out underneath the nose of his
father, but that wasn't enough, no! I wanted to take the one constant in
Vince's life. I wanted to take away the rock of Gibraltar of Vince
McMahon's existence. How do you take Daddy's Little Girl away? With
money? No. With charm and good looks? No. With POWER! The power to
own her own company - the power to make her own decisions - and the power,
Vince, to offer to you the same ultimatum you gave YOUR father - get out
of the way, or get squashed. Because Vince, when it comes to power, and
when it comes to Stephanie, Shane and I - when it comes to WCW, ECW and
the WWF - power? You can give it to us, Vince...or at inVasion, we can
take it away from you. Isn't that right, Billion Dollar
Princess?" "Paul, from now on you can just call me Boss." "Yes
ma'am!" "Okay. Paul, you have a point. It is all about
power." "Slut!" "And I do own ECW! And together, Shane and I have the
power to run the WWF out of business. See Daddy, Shane was smart enough
to buy WCW. And I had the money to buy ECW. But Dad, I mean, can you
really blame us for wanting to own our own companies and, and go up
against you? I mean, Daddy, we come from your loins! We're your
children! But Dad, we're BETTER than you are. It's simple
evolution. Children are stronger, they're smarter, they're faster, and
children generally outlive their parents. But Daddy, quite frankly, Shane
and I just couldn't wait for you to DIE. See, Shane and I, if we have one
fault, which we got from you, it would be that - well, we're a little
impatient. See, we couldn't wait for you to...die and get out of the way,
so Shane and I decided to join forces, and together WCW and ECW will run
you and the WWF out of business FOREVER." "My Time" plays as Paul kisses
Stephanie's hand - and shakes Shane's.
To the Commissioner's office, where Regal expresses disbelief. "If it
wasn't for Vince McMahon, there wouldn't be a sports entertainment
industry - there wouldn't be WCW, there wouldn't be an ECW, and these
three miserable toerags - ungrateful...they should be bloody ashamed of
themselves, but you - your decision to stay with the WWF ... that was the
right decision. You will go a long way. Is there anything that I can
do? Anything?" Tajiri says something along the lines of "sumakdonu
komentaru" - Regal compliments his speaking voice and, deciding he's a lot
easier to understand than Tazz was, grants him his wish of taking the
third headset. Tajiri's face lights up - and Regal can't help but
smile as well as Tajiri leaves...
WWF Live! Tix on sale Saturday for Bakersfield, Rockford, Salt Lake, Las
Vegas, Ottawa, Montreal, and Halifax - wow lookit all the ECW stars in
Vince is forlorn as we hear the knock at his door - it's Mr. & Mrs.
Austin. "That's not the hug I'm used to gettin'!" "...I can't help it -
I'm just kinda down in the dumps, this damn inVasion thing - and then, on
top of it...I mean, my kids turnin' against me." "You've still got me.
You've still got Stone Cold, I'm right here with ya." "And I appreciate
that." "That's not helpin' ya, is it." "No no, I, I don't mean to take
that for granted, I appreciate that." "I'm, listen I know this inVasion
thing's got you - your hair's fallin' out - I know your kid - not too bad
- I know your kids leavin' you is kinda like gettin 'stabbed in the
back...but I got something that's gonna help us, gonna help you...it's
gonna take away this whole inVasion thing, it's gonna bring back your
kids, it's gonna erase ALL your problems. Should I tell him?" "...like I
know what it is? I don't--" "Never mind. I got something that's gonna
solve all your problems." "You do?" "It's gonna solve all these inVasion
things - WWF #1, Shane and Steph...back, everybody at your sides." "All
right - I'm up for that." "I'll be right back...with the answer to all
your problems." "All right...I'm looking forward to this."
TAJIRI joins the commentary team, and grabs third headset. "You speak
Enligsh there, son?" "So so. Business is about to pick up!"
TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ v. KOOL MOE DEE
logo) - Cole confuses me by saying "...my nephew, who calls Tazz 'Uncle
Tazz,' asking me why did Tazz do what he did, why won't he return Daddy's
phone calls?" So is he a child or a nephew? Oh well. Holly from behind
as Tazz spends a bit too much time staring at the commentary table.
After the forearm, it's a kick, kick, kick, kick, right, right, right,
right, right, right, overhand right. "Srabnaka! Srabnaka!" "What?"
"Slobberknocker." Chop, chop. Into the opposite corner, Tazz runs out
and eats a clothesline. Holly with a vertical suplex - then mounts him
for eleven (count 'em) right hands. "OH MY GOD! Rocket busta! Rocket
busta!" Holly drapes him over the top rope - then manages to land the
Best Crotch Kick in the Business as referee "Blind" Jack Doan tries to
free him. "Babakuu sos!" "Barbecue sauce?" Stomp. Tazz through the
ropes to the outside - Holly follows. Tazz manages a gutshot. Right,
right by Tazz. Holly back with a right. Chop. Chop. Chop. Right cross
by Tazz, right by Holly, into the canvas, back into the ring. "Business
is about to pick up!" Scoop...and a slam by Holly. Drops the leg. Leg is
hooked - 1, 2, kickout. Tazz with a gutshot - overhand by Holly - gutshot
by Holy. "(A lot of Japanese) Go go! Srabnaka!" Stomp by Holly - then
stands on the face for 4. Tazz back with a right. Right by Holly, right
by Taz, into the corner, kick, kick, into the opposite corner, but Tazz
gets the boot up - and that turns Holly's back to him - the kati hajime
takes over and Holly goes down in short order. (2:34) Holly would go on
to say after the match that he had planned on beating Tazz senseless, if
not for the fact that "matches are won and lost for reasons. This is not
NASCAR. We're wrestling out there." Tajiri offers, "(A lot of Japenese)"
Ross congratulates him on a job well done. "Sankyu! Sankyu!" Tazz
leaves the ring and approaches the commentators. Tajiri slowly rises to
his feet...and Tazz hauls off and SLAPS him. Right, right, right, right,
Tazzmission! Tajiri is out like Freddie Mercury. "Dammit, Tazz, what the
HELL has gotten into you?" Tazz chooses to ignore Cole's question,
scaling the corner and letting his music play again. Ross offers, "this
is not the same man that was your friend."
"Tazz choking people out, this damn inVasion is full-scale...what the hell
is Stone Cold gonna do about it? He's gonna do something to change the
face of inVasion? Give it up." "Vince, do you think *I* know anything?
He tells me nothing." "I just hope he brings me Paul Heyman's head on a
stick, that's what I'd like." Austin is back...and he's brought a
gee-tar. "Hey, pal. Yeah." "What are you gonna--" "The answer."
"You're gonna hit somebody over the head with this damn guitar?" Austin
puts a hand on Vince's shoulder. "That's not what we need now, Vince.
We don't need violence - it's NOT the answer to our problems, man! Look
at me. Trust me. Let me explain - Debra, scoot over please. Thanks,
honey - I appreciate the sport. Sit down, Vince, let me explain something
to ya. Ever since I was a little kid, if I ever had a problem, my dad
would break out the ol' geetar and sing me a few songs, and I'd forget
about the bully next door pickin' on me, or whatever the problem was - it
could be the homework, right. I'd forget about it! All through words and
music...provided by my father. That's what I'm offering here - words and
music - inspiration for you!" "I don't understand." "Vince. You know,
you got this inVasion thing, WWF is about to go down the drain, you're
losin' your hair - Steph, Shane, stab ya in the back, they twist the
knife, walk out of your life, they betrayed you! Look at me! Stone Cold
is here to sing to you and solve your problems - this is inspiration, man
- can't you FEEL it. This is like...like chicken soup for the soul.
Right. Here's a little number my dad used to sing to me, and it always
worked every time - and I was just a little kid, sittin' on his knee, and
he'd start strummin' the gee-tar...well, here it is. This is from me to
you. Debra, you can sing along if you know the words. It's a little out
of tune. Better?" Austin plays a random tablature and sings out of key:
"Kumbayah, my lord - Kumbayah / Kumbayah, my lord - Kumbayah / Kum -
Kumba... all right, let me change the song. All right, this is a little
Queen - you remember that rock band Queen? You'll really like this one,
it's a little more current. I rewrote some of the words. I AM THE
CHAMPION, MY FRIEND / AND I'LL GO ON FIGHTING TO THE END / 'CAUSE I AM THE
CHAMPION / *I* AM THE CHAMPION / NO TIME FOR LOSERS / 'CAUSE I AM THE
CHAMPION / OF THE WORLD..." Vince continues his uncontrollable fidgeting
while Debra settles for plugging her ears. Meanwhile, Austin sings with a
passion that belies his complete lack of perfect pitch.
Tough Enough ad
Edge & Christian shill Stacker 2
The Hardcore Smack of the Night is presented by CORN NUTS! From RAW,
Tommy Dreamer and Rob van Dam make a shocking appearance - followed by a
shocking turn by six WWF guys and two WCW guys - and so on
LANCE STORM v. CHRIS
THURSDAY JERICHO - Storm SPEAKS! "If I can be serious for a
minute...you WWF fans may be used to your cartoon characters - the pomp
and circumstance, the pyro, the bells and whistles that go along with
it...but let me assure you, I am no cartoon character, I need no bells and
whistles...and tonight I PROVE it, when I destroy and dismantle your very
own, your beloved--" the countdown cuts him off. Jericho SPEAKS! "You
know, you're not a cartoon character. No, you're more like a movie
character. Your name really isn't Lance Storm, is it. No, I think your
name is really Forrest Gump! And Forrest, mah mama always sed...would you
PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP. And after that little beatdown that you and your
little buddies gave me last Monday night on RAW, well tonight, I'm not
gonna get mad, I'm gonna get - get - GET - GET - EVEN." Jericho drops the
mic and rushes the ring, and it's on. Ducks a clothesline, flying
jalapeno! Armdrag, right, right, right, right, shoulder to the post.
Forearm, into the corner (really s-l-o-w-l-y), Storm up and over, forearm
meets Jericho, springboard clothesline. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp,
rubbing his face in the mat. Into the ropes, head down, kick by Jericho -
kick caught, enzuigiri ducked, Storm holding the leg and letting Jericho
roll - there's the half crab! But Jericho quickly grabs the middle rope
(yikes, kill the finisher already) and Storm lets go. Stomp, stomp,
vertical suplex. Storm to the top...but before he can take flight,
Jericho runs to the corner, climbs to the second rope, and performs a
super armdrag! Unfortunately, he slips off the rope in the process and
crashes to the mat - yowch. Referee "Blind" Nick Patrick puts on the
count - crowd chants "Y2J" - Jericho up at 6 - but it's Storm with the
first right - Jericho fires back. Storm right, Jericho right, Jericho,
Jericho, into the ropes, back elbow. Off the ropes, Storm ducks (trips) -
Jericho with a chop, chop, chop, Storm into the ropes, BIG back body drop.
Jericho off the ropes with the bulldog. Lionsault - but Storm gets up the
knees! There's a SUPERKICK by Storm - hooks the leg, 1, 2, NO! Storm
going for the death suplex but Jericho backflips to his feet - forearm,
into the ropes is reversed, Storm drops down and rolls Jericho into the
half crab...but Jericho rolls under Storm's legs, double leg
takedown...WALLS OF JERICHO! Storm taps! (2:50) Yikes - would YOU book
the first match between the Thrillseekers to go three minutes? That's why
YOU'RE *watching* instead of *booking*, I suppose
Austin is STILL singing, now mangling "Camptown Ladies" - in comes Kurt
Angle - Austin pauses....but continues his song. "What are you doin'?
Steve?" "I'm trying to cheer up Mr. McMahon, what are you doing? You got
no business being in here." "You're cheerin' him up, singing a song?"
"It's chicken soup for the soul! I'm inspiration. Look at him, he's
relieved - his hair is growing back." Angle scoffs. "Look - look at
you." "Look at ME?" "It's written all over you." "What?" "Look at
him." "What?" "You're jealous." "Of THAT?" "You're jealous of my
relationship with Vince McMahon. You're jealous of the fact that I can
sing." "Hey, you can sing - I was in the glee club in high school - two
years." "Really?" "Yeah." "Well can you play the axe?" "What's the
axe?" "It's the guitar." "The guitar? Uh...well, I played the ukelele -
and it's got two less strings, but I think I could probably carry a tune,
yeah." "You cain't play the guitar." "Yes, I can." "You cain't play the
guitar." "Yes, I can." "You can't!" "Yes I can!" "You can't!" "Yes I
can!" "You can't!" "I can!" "You can't!" "Can!" "Here - you talked me
into it. Scoot over, Debra. I'll help you out." "Okay, this is to cheer
Vince up, right?" "That's what I'm trying to do! I'll help ya out."
Vince: "Do you really think this is a good idea?" "Well it was 'til he
come in." Angle: "Umm, can you move over? You make me nervous."
Austin: "Yeah." "No, the OTHER way!" "Sorry." Debra: "I don't have a
lot of room here." "It's okay." "I think you'll like this, Vince."
Angle clears his throat - Austin clears HIS throat about a hundred times
louder. "Here we go. Jimmy crack corn and I don't care / Jimmy crack
corn and I don't care / JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON'T CAAAARE..." Vince
runs off - Angle can't play any better than Austin. "...I got Olympic
Gold. I got Olympic Gold / I got Olympic Gold / Jimmy crack corn and I
don't care / Jimmy crack corn and I don't care..." "Kurt....Kurt.....
KURRRRRRRRRRRRRT!" Austin swipes the guitar. "What?" "What you doin'?"
"I'm trying to cheer up Vince?" "Cheer up who?" "Vince?" "Where is he?"
Angle looks. "Where'd he go?" "You ran him out of the room, you stink!
You're horrible, you're pathetic!" "Well I wasn't any worse than you
were, I listened to you when I walked in." "I spent a lotta money on
guitar lessons - I'm great! TELL him I'm great! THAT'S right!" "Well,
they didn't work." "Did too." "Did not." "Did too." "Did not." "Did
too." "Did not." "He was a happy man 'til you come in here!" "Is he
serious?" "You make me sick."
Subway presents the WWF Slam of the Week! From last week's RAW, Big Show
wipes out Jeff Hardy - but it's okay, since he gets a kiss from Trish
In a dressing room, Trish tries to explain that really she was just caught
up in the moment and all, you see, and.... "Trish, it's okay, I'm not mad
at you for kissing me." "No?" Here come Lita and Matt. "Trish, look - I
understand we have to team together at inVasion for the Bra and Panties
tag team match. I'm okay with that - it's business. I don't know what's
going on with THIS, but we do have some major personal issues - I'd like
to settle 'em tonight in the ring." "Lita, I have no problem with that.
See ya at the ring. See ya later, Jeff." "Bye, Trish." Matt: "I mean,
what exactly is going on here, Jeff? What are you looking at?" Jeff
still stares out in the direction of Stratus' ass. "Nothing - nothing at
Meanwhile, Cole overdubs "it's ECW's Mike Awesome!" in case we forgot - in
case the WWF Hardcore championship doesn't give it away. Looks like he's
found the seamstress. "You make pants around here? Well good - because I
am the WWF Hardcore champion, and I think I need some new pants made.
Now I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen to me very, very
carefully. On this side over here, I want it to say AWESOME. Now on this
side over here, I ALSO want it to say AWESOME. And do you know why I want
it to say awesome? Well, no matter which way you look at me from, you see
the Awesome One. Now I know you can't get this done before tonight's over
Meanwhile (3), we cut to Edge & Christian, watching this on a monitor.
"Did I just hear that right?" "Did my royal ears deceive me?" "Yeah - I
think mine are too!" Edge gives him a doubletake. "He's not awesome -
we're the only two around here who reek of awesomeness!" "I know - if
this gearbox wants an accurate description of what his pants should
say...I mean, this leg should say 'chumpstain,' and this leg should say
'Dorkzilla!'" "Yeah - he is SO not awesome. Brutal!" Oh, they're eating
candy out of the King of the Ring Cup, too...
Meanwhile (4), Vince has gathered Team WWF for a pep talk. "All
right...we're here to discuss Team WWF..." Taker glares at Austin...who
hands his guitar to Angle. "...and I'd like to have your undivided
attention. So..." Angle almost plucks a string before Austin swipes the
guitar back away from him and throws it on the sofa. Austin: "What were
you saying?" "THIS is the most serious threat the World Wrestling
Federation has ever known. And you Chris Jericho, Kane..." Austin:
"Kane." "Undertaker..." "Undertaker." "..we do have a deal." "We got a
deal." Taker: "YOU shut up." "Stone Cold, and you Kurt, all together.
Whether we like it or not, whether we like each other or not..." "Like it
or not!" "...it doesn't matter." "It don't matter." "...because we're
going into inVasion." "inVasion!" "We're going into this with both WCW
and ECW breathing down our necks!" "BREATHING down our necks! They're
breathin'--" Austin slaps Taker in the shoulder...and realises that
wasn't the wisest of moves. "You do that again, you're gonna pull back a
nub." Austin looks down - then gives Angle a shove to get it back. "Now
DAMMIT, let's get together! We've gotta have leadership here - we have to
unify. We have to function as one unit. Otherwise, we'll break apart -
they'll pick us apart out there!" "PICK US APART (something else under
his breath)" "I want a commitment from each and every one of you that
we're going to have unity, we're gonna support each other..." "Support
each other." "And more than anything else in the world, at inVasion, we
will kick WCW and ECW's collective (beep). Do I have your word on that?"
Jericho: "Damn right you got my word on that." Kane nods. Taker: "Why
don't you just let Kane and I handle it?" "Because two men can't DO this.
It's five on five." Austin: "FIVE ON FIVE!" "What are you gonna do with
THIS?" "And the risk are just too damn great." Austin: "I'M IN! COUNT
ME IN!" Angle: "I'm in." "COUNT HIM IN TOO!" "All right - together, as
the old expression goes...united we stand...." Austin: "Divided we fall."
"Let's stand tall - let's stand tall just for once for the WWF."
And now, because we've apparently had JUST TOO DAMN MUCH WRESTLING THIS
SHOW, the second hour finally kicks off with...."No Chance in Hell"
leading out MR. McMAHON (with the TV-PG-DLV ratings box, transmitido en
espanol SAP) to the ring. Damn, but Jim Ross can't stop KISSING McMAHON'S
ASS all of a sudden. "Allow me to introduce to you the greatest WWF
Champion of all time. Allow me to introduce to you the man who will lead
Team WWF into inVasion. Allow me to introduce you to the man who will
lead the Undertaker, Kane, Jericho and Angle into inVasion - ladies and
gentlemen, I give you STONE
COLD STEVE AUSTIN!" Austin hits all four corners before Vince
continues. "You know, Stone Cold, they say that since WrestleMania,
you've changed...and maybe you have. They say that since WrestleMania,
you've become more selfish than ever before, you've become uncaring.
Matter of fact, many individuals feel as though you've changed SO much
since WrestleMania, quite frankly, you've become a very proficient brown
noser." Austin goes for the highspot - err, hug - but Vince backs up.
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Now that's what some people say, they
think you've changed, and I think you have changed! As far as the WWF
Champion is concerned, I think you've changed for the better. But quite
frankly(2)...when we approach the single greatest threat to the World
Wrestling Federation ever at inVasion, you know, I'm not so sure that -
that we don't need another change, Stone Cold. I mean, quite frankly(3),
the man that I need to lead Team WWF, even though I appreciate it, is not
a Stone Cold that gives me hugs - I don't need the leader of Team WWF, the
Stone Cold Steve Austin that - that gives me gifts, cowboy hats and -
Steve, you had your wife make me cookies. Steve, I don't need the kinda
Stone Cold Steve Austin that strums a guitar and sings to me to lead me
and lead Team WWF into inVasion - that's not what I need, Steve! Damn it,
you know what I need, you know who I need? I NEED THE OLD STONE
COLD!" Ross: "Oh hell yeah!" Me: "Ross?" "I NEED THE STONE COLD STEVE
AUSTIN WHO'S A BEER SWILLING, FOUL-MOUTHED SOB!" Ross: "You're damn right
we need him!" "I NEED THE KINDA STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN WHO DON'T TAKE NO
(BEEP) FROM ANYBODY!" "You tell him, Vince!" "I NEED THE KIND OF
HELL-RAISING, *HELL-RAISING* STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! WHAT I NEED, THE
KIND OF STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN, NOT THAT LONG AGO, THAT WOULD LOOK AT
MR. McMAHON, AND IF I PARTED MY HAIR THE WRONG WAY, YOU WOULD KNOCK ME ON
MY (BEEP). THAT'S THE KINDA LEADERSHIP I NEED FROM YOU, STONE COLD - I
NEED YOU TO LEAD TEAM WWF INTO INVASION - I NEED THE *OLD* STONE
COLD! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, DAMMIT? DO YOU WANNA KNOCK ME ON MY
(BEEP) NOW? HUH? COME ON! I CAN FEEL IT! I KNOW, I CAN FEEL IT! I CAN
FEEL IT IN MY GUTS! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! NAIL ME! KNOCK ME
DOWN! KNOCK ME DOWN! IF YOU WANT STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN TO BEAT THE
LIVING HELL OUTTA VINCE McMAHON, GIMME A HELL YEAH!" But Austin shakes
his head "no," lowers his head...and walks out of the ring. "Steve,
wait...Steve...wait...Steve, don't leave this ring. Steve? Stone
Cold... Stone Cold! I need you - I need you, Austin, to lead Team WWF! I
NEED YOU AT INVASION, AUSTIN - DAMMIT STONE COLD, TURN AROUND - COME BACK
- GIVE ME A STUNNER, DAMMIT!" Austin stops at the top of the ramp...then
keeps walking. "COME BACK! AUSTIN! AUSTIN! GIVE ME A STUNNER! STONE
COLD!!" Vince drops the mic to the floor in shock - Austin is long gone.
Ummm....that was a little....yeah
During the Break, Debra pulled the luggage...and Steve let his title belt
drag along the road...as they left
Angle catches up to Vince, who appears to be leaving. "Where am I going?"
"Yeah." "Where the hell do you think I'm going? I'm going to find Stone
Cold Steve Austin and talk some SENSE into him!" "Well aren't you gonna
stay for my match?" "Stay for your match?" "Yeah!" "I'm sure you'll do
just fine on your own. I've gotta go find Stone Cold because he's got to
lead Team WWF to victory at inVasion." "I'll be the leader! I can lead a
team." "I'm gonna go find Austin." "Well...what if he doesn't come
back?" "Oh...like I said. I'm gonna go find Stone Cold Steve Austin, and
I'm gonna talk some sense into him and when I do...THE OLD STONE COLD WILL
BE LEADING TEAM WWF!" HIS limo drives off...
KANE v. RHYNO - Kane blocks, right, right,
right, elbow, right, right, knee, clubbin' forearm, off the ropes with a
clothesline. Kick, into the opposite corner, follow lariat, uppercut puts
Rhyno down. Spike and Molly host Heat Sunday - we'll find out for sure
that Spike's stuck with the WWF (or not). Kick in the gut. Another kick
in the gut. Into the opposite corner - but Rhyno puts an elbow up. Then
runs into a powerslam. Man, Rhyno's done NOTHIN' since joining ECW!
Kane up top...but Rhyno meets him and crotches him on the top rope!
Rhyno outside to meet Kane - back of the head to the barricade. Rolled
back in - forearm in the back - kick, kick, right, right, right, right,
right. Off the ropes with a running knee (shin) to the head. Cover - 2.
Hmm, no ECW refs yet, huh? "Rhyno sux!" Right hand, right, right, Kane
starting to hulk up - right by Rhyno - right by Kane, right by Rhyno,
right by Kane, right, right, into the ropes, back elbow, clothesline, put
into the corner, kick, kick, kick, kick, right, left right. Into the
opposite corner - sidewalk slam out. Ross is making me SICK with his "we
NEED Stone Cold Steve Austin back" spiel. Kane up top - THIS time he hits
the flying clothesline. Whip is reversed - but Kane reverses back,
throwing Rhyno into the corner - and unfortunately sandwiching referee
"Blind" Mike Chioda in the corner. Kane with the avalanche - Rhyno drops
out of the way and *Chioda* takes the collision. Rhyno with an inside
cradle, grabbing the tights...and NICK PATRICK runs out to quick count a
1, 2, 3 for Rhyno. (3:33) Replay of the finish - I think I'm starting to
get it...if you're "ECW by way of the WWF" you get the fall, if you're
"ECW by way of the WCW" you submit to the Walls of Jericho. Whaddaya
NEXT: Trish vs. Lita - because ECW is...hmmm....hell, I dunno
Monochrome PSA - "Some call these men the greatest entertainers on earth -
flying without wings - defying physcial limitations. But the risks
these men take are great - bodies have been battered - necks broken -
careers ended in an instant - yes, this is entertainment, but the hazards
are real - no matter who you are, whatever you do, please - don't try this
at home." Yikes, pulling out DROZ footage here? That's
Hey hey, catch the WWF live Saturday in Albany, Sunday in New Haven, RAW
in Providence and Tuesday in Boston!
To the commissioner's office we go. "I mean, you were doing a wonderful
job as well until Tazz - I mean, he's damaged your commentary voice! But
you've got what you want - at inVasion, it's you against Tazz - you can
get your revenge there. Yes." Tajiri kinda rubs up against Regal's
shoulder - Regal pets him. Earl Hebner interrupts this tender moment.
"Am I interrupting something?" "No - no." "Did you want to see me?"
"Yes I wanted to see you! Are you the senior official here in the World
Wrestling Federation?" "Yes I am." "So - how can you let Nick Patrick -
I mean, he's just cost Kane a match against Rhyno - how can you allow this
to happen?" "What can I do?" "What can you do, I'll TELL you what you
can do, you can stand up for yourself man! You can run over to Nick
Patrick's dressing room now, you can kick the door in, and you can
challenge Nick Patrick to a match at inVasion!" "You're damn right I
will." "I know I'm right! Don't forget to take some of your referee
friends with you. Go on!"
(with SmackDown! is brought to you by Corn Nuts, MX2002, and Subway!) v.
STRATUS - THE FITNESS MODEL (with inVasion graphic: Stacy Keibler &
Torrie Wilson vs. Lita & Trish Stratus in the 1st Ever Bra and Panties Tag
Team Matchup!) - Words are exchanged - Lita shoves, Trish slaps. Lita
with a right that puts her down. Into the ropes, big clothesline by
Lita. The Hardyz watch a monitor from their dressing room. When we look
back, Trish is in a corner. Lita hairmares her out. Trish rolls
outside. Lita wants her back in - Stratus manages a hot shot on her way
back in. Stratus with a suplex (!) for 2. Stomp, stomp, field goal
kick. Yep, the Hardyz are still watching - must be covering another
edit? Stratus shoves Lita into the corner - stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp
stomp. Crowd chants "Lita." Stratus sits on the top turnbuckle and gives
Lita the gallows choke. Top rope bulldog! 1, 2, KICKOUT! Lita manages a
right - right, Stratus rakes the eyes. Lita put in the ropes, Lita ducks
the clothesline, fires off one of her own, right, right, right, right,
into the corner, gutshot, Twist of Fate, climbing up for a moonsault -
ayup - 1, 2, 3. (2:18)
We look back to the Hardyz - Matt is clapping like a trained seal
(whipped...whipped). "That's my girl, boy! Right there. Won another
one. Trish is all right - but she's no Lita. At all." In walk Stacy
Keibler and Torrie Wilson. "Hi, guys! We just wanted to introduce
ourselves. I'm Torrie Wilson." "Jeff Hardy." "And I'm Stacy Kiebler. I
just wanted to tell you that I..." and they fade into whispers - Stacy
kisses Matt and Torrie kisses Jeff. "Nice meeting you!" They clasp
hands and walk off. "What was that about?" "Matt - girls dig us." We
look back to the ring - neither Lita nor Stratus seem particularly happy.
And now, the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by Lugz! From RAW,
Spike breaks a crutch over Bubba Ray's back, distracting D-Von long enough
to eat a Clothesline from Hell...and lose the tag team titles to the APA.
Here's a look at the Exterior of the BJCC!
Let Us Take You Back to RAW where Shane turned on Undertaker and joined
Diamond Dallas Page to take out Taker...bringing Sara into the ring - and
I think we can all agree she did okay until that Diamond Cutter
In a dressing room, Shane, Stephanie and Page react to watching this
footage on the monitor. Shane says they need to be careful in the big
match tonight - he's in his head. "That's where I wanna be!"
Meanwhile, the three WCW officials are chatting - Hebner barges in,
flanked by Korderas and Doan. Patrick: "What do you guys want?" "What do
we want? When you cost Kane the match against Rhyno, it was the last
straw." "Yeah, well what are YOU gonna do about it?" "What am I gonna do
about it? You think you're a big tough guy - how 'bout a match, you and I
at inVasion?" "Oh I'd LOVE to have a match with you at inVasion - and I'd
like to give you a preview right now!" OH MAN these punches are SO bad
they actually pull the "broken camera" trick just to fade out of this
WHAT??? MORE ADS?!?
I think we've GOTTA have a SPECIAL referee for a Hebner/Patrick match,
right? Let's see...how about.... Kirby Puckett
Gotta have our nightly look at WWF New York! Wow, looking at that big ol'
marquee reminds me that this would be a perfect segue to...
Last Week on Tough Enough, Triple H talked - and Jason left
JESUS CHRIST, MORE ADS? - oh, wait, it's just UPN sneaking in a ten second
"Buffy" plug - well that was weird
WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: JEFF HARDY (with PlayStation presents inVasion
in ten days!) v. AWESOME MIKE AWESOME - Awesome
unleashes a furious pummelin' 'pon him - Hardy put in the opposite corner
- Awesome Splash! Overhand right to the back. Into the ropes, head down,
kick by Hardy, clothesline by Awesome. Awesome going outside and
underneath the ring for weaponry - but before he can put the trash can in
the ring, Hardy hits a baseball slide dropkick to the can, to Awesome's
chest! You can see the WWF Security guy walk away - you know it's coming
- and so did Awesome, who stops the barricade run with a trash can lid to
the flying Hardy. Leg is hooked out on the floor - 1, 2, no. Ross: "I
just never pictured Jeff Hardy as the hardcore title." I dunno, they
KINDA look alike... PlayStation Double Feature of Awesome's mighty swing.
Awesome with the lid to the back of Hardy's head. Hardy thrown into the
STEEL steps. Rolled back in - Awesome follows. Scoop...and a
slam. Awesome going to the top floor - but Hardy meets him there with a
right - right, right - climbing up - Frankensteiner! Hardy with a double
leg takedown, and the "Hardy in the house" double legdrop to the
crotchular area. Hardy's outside....and he's got a
ladder. Yikes. Ladder to Awesome's face. Awesome has a broom, but Hardy
rams the ladder into him again. Hardy takes the broom and goes up top -
looks like a WITCHDROP FROM THA TOP! Hardy stands up the ladder as we
take a PlayStation Double Feature of the broomstick-assisted
buttdrop. Hardy climbing the People's Ladder rung by damn rung - pausing
to pose at the top - mistake - Awesome with two rights to stagger him,
then upending the ladder, causing Hardy to hit the top rope on the way
down with a MASSIVE WHIPLASH - 1, 2, kickout!! Awesome pulls him to the
centre. "That's it!" Awesome up top one more time - going for the
plancha but Hardy rolls away! Awesome ducks the swing, however, and hits
a HUGE German suplex! "That's it!" I think he MEANS it this time,
folks. Awesome sets up the ladder in the corner - Hardy set up for the
running Awesome Bomb...but KING EDGE & CHRISTIAN are out - Edge jabs him
with a chair to trip him up and cause him to drop Hardy - and there's a
CONCHAIRTO! Hardy quickly climbs to the top - swantonbomb! 1, 2,
3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new hardcore champion. (5:08) Edge &
Christian are proud to have proven awesomeness - and Jeff has Yet Another
To the back, where Taker discusses strategy. "We're gonna go out there,
and I'm gonna beat the living hell outta
DDP. You think you can keep your head out of your ass long enough for us
to get that done?" Angle: (taken aback) "Yeah!" "All right, shut
up. Listen. You know they're gonna come, all right? Just keep an eye on
the backstage." Angle: "Whoa whoa - hold on a second. Hold on a
second. Vince and Stone Cold are gone. And when they're gone, I'M the
leader of this team. *I* should be the captain!" Jericho: "Captain
Assclown." Kane and Taker start a double stare Angle's way. "Now
listen. Kane, Jericho, keep an eye out for any signs of WCW or EC - E -
... all right, you can be the leader. For tonight. See ya out
there." Jericho: "Nice chinstrap!" "You guys keep an eye on our back,
all right?" "You got it, Taker." "All right."
NEXT: DDP & Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle & Undertaker
Brand-spankin' new inVasion promo...but where can you put Heyman's face on
that Shane/Vince poster, hmmm? Looks like they finally settled on WWFWCWInvasion.com
for the website - oops, they didn't plan for some ECW in there, eh? Oh
WWF SmackDown! returns in a moment on UPN! (Just ignore the Dudleyz and
Tazz in this bumper, thanks)
Tough Enough is NEXT!
AND UPN sneaks in a three second "Enterprise" spot - man, UPN is WEIRD
with their sneaky sneaks tonight.
ANGLE and TAKER
v. SHANE O. MAC and DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE - Page pulls Shane close to
whisper a plan - looks like they're going to rush the ring....oops, except
Page pulls up and lets Shane go in by himself. Saaaaaaay - that's pretty
clever of Page! Shane looks back, gives an "oh, you dirty" look, then
tries to run at Taker anyway - no, no. Soupbone! Clothesline by Angle!
Clothesline by Taker! Kick by Taker, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, left,
soupbone, left, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, a few nasty words...and a
back elbow. Angle asks for the feed - Taker tosses Shane into Angle's
belly-to-belly overhead suplex! Angle hooks the leg - 1, 2, Taker pulls
him off. Taker says he ain't done - steps outside, and asks for a tag.
He gets it. Taker drags Shane over to his own corner and waits for Page
to get HIS tag. Page backs off. Taker pulls up Shane - big soupbone.
Taker looks at Page - soupbone for Shane. Soupbone. Pulling him back up
- never taking his eyes off Page - soupbone. Whip into the oppoiste
corner - follow lariat. Tag to Angle - right hand, right, right.
Referee "Blind" Earl Hebner warns against the closed fists...but not all
that hard. Shane put into the ropes - back elbow by Angle knocks him
down. Shane sent into a corner - drop toehold, quickly into the Anglelock
but NOW Page interjects himself, pulling Angle off of Shane and outside
the ring - big right hand - and thrown into the STEEL steps - and Page
keeps going, over the barricade and into the crowd...as Taker enters the
frame after him. Taker picks up Angle by the neck. "You all right? Get
in there!" Angle duly rolled back in. Page tells Shane that's his shot -
with a staggered Angle, it's easy pickin's for the SUPER SHANE SPEAR!
Page BEGS for the tag...and gets it. Stomp on Angle, stomp, stomp.
Winding it up - and clotheslining him down. Stomp. Whip into the ropes
is reversed, but the head is down - Page with a Pearl River Plunge...but
Angle is out at 2! Page goes to the camel clutch - big buttdrop on the
back - and tag to Shane. Shane in like a butterfly - kick to the ribs,
right, right, right, into the ropes, jumpin' back elbow - 1, 2, Angle
kicks out. 1, 2, another kickout. Shane holds Angle back and makes the
tag. Page up top - big flying clothesline finds the mark - 1, 2, NO!
Angle catches the kick and spins him around - ducks the discus lariat,
ducks another clothesline, ducks ANOTHER swing, rolls forward and MAKES
THE HOT TAG!! Soupbone! Soupbone! Soupbone! Head to the buckle! Back
elbow! Into the opposite corner, follow lariat! Sidewalk slam! Shane in
- Shane eats a clothesline! Taker off the ropes with a DDT! He's making
the international sign of the chokeslam - and Page GETS the chokeslam!
1, 2, Shane breaks it up?!? Oh, Shane, Shane, Shane. That ain't too
bright, son. Shane with a right to the body, right, right, right, right,
right, right, right - none of them have ANY effect. Taker flattens him
with a soupbone. AND NOW THE BANDANA'S OFF! Taker puts Shane in
position...LAST RIDE WEDGIEBOMB!! Meanwhile, Angle is back in - and
clamping on the Anglelock on Page! But Taker shoves him off - he's STILL
not done with Page. Soupbon, soupbone, soupbone...oh no - here come LOTS
OF W/ECW STARS out through the crowd and over the barricade, and into the
ring (Where Have We Seen This Before DQ 6:15)- Angle and Taker have a bit
of luck as their opponents attack Black Ninja style - and actually manage
to clear the ring! Angle outside to meet SOME MORE W/ECW GUYS - Hugh
Morrus to Taker's back - into the ropes, Taker ducks the clothesline, and
uncorks a clothesline of his own on Morrus! Another clothesline puts him
over the top to the floor. Angle is lost in a sea of humanity out on the
floor - Taker returns to Page - gives him a hard look...then comes off the
ropes with a NO-HANDS TOPE onto the pile! Taker throwing soupbones at
everybody - Angle picking off people when he can - but finally, the
numbers take over and the ten get the better of the two....but now KANE &
CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO are out! Again the WWF folks manage to take
advantage of some dubious attack formations on the part of their
adversaries....but STILL MORE W/ECW GUYS are out and the numbers take
command once again. Ross: "It must be fifteen on five here!" Well, I
count four on the WWF side, but it's the thought that counts. PAUL HEYMAN
hits the stage and laughs for the benefit of the camera. The ring is
loaded with WWF folks - Angle gets 3D (Dudley Death Drop). Ross can't
HELP but think that things might be different if the old Stone Cold was
here. Jericho gets a superkick from Storm. Rhyno gores Kane. And
finally, Undertaker gets helped to his feet - OUT on his feet - Page gives
him some love taps and dares him to respond - Taker with a choke (!) but
the backup makes sure he doesn't get far. And there's the Diamond
Cutter! "This is Extreme" plays again as STEPHANIE CAN'T ACT, REALLY
REALLY SHE CAN'T walks out. Ross lays it on thick - we NEED the Old
Rattlesnake! We NEED the old Stone Cold! Pardon ME, Ross, but honestly -
would the Old Stone Cold GIVE a flying FUCK about ANY of these people?