Happy Birthday, James Kalyn!
TV-PG-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
The Beautiful Opening Credits - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
OH NO THE GIANT FIST IS EXPLODING! WE ARE LIVE ("Recorded Earlier" on my
screen - killjoys) from the Pepsi Center in Denver, CO 23.8.1 and SAP!
transmitido en espanol - everybody brings a sign to UPN's SMACKDOWN!
TONIGHT: A big six man - Rhyno, Test & Booker T vs. APA & Rock!
WOW! There are PEOPLE in WWF NEW YORK!
TONIGHT: Kanyon vs. Angle! But what about NOW?
WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: ROB VAN DAM v. JEFF H
ARDY in a return match - Yeeha! Hardy slides in the ring, van Dam
grabs an ankle, Hardy hits a mule kick. Waistlock, standing switch, Hardy
drops down with a rollup for 2. Crucifix by Hardy for 2. Small package
gets 2, van Dam reverses for 2. Both men up for the *dramatic pause* -
forearm by van Dam, Hardy fires back, van Dam, Hardy dropkicks the knee.
Hardy kicks the knee, into the corner is reversed and Hardy pulls up
clutching his back off the impact. van Dam goes right there, kicking the
back. Forearm, kick, into the ropes, reversal, van Dam ducks, Hardy grabs
the leg, ducks the enzuigiri, and hits a dragon screw legwhip (!) and now
it's *van Dam* limping as he rolls outside the ring. Hardy with a pescado!
Everybody's outside now, and referee "Blind" Jimmy Korderas follows. Hardy
going under the ring as we grab the Clearasil Replay (I guess "Double
Feature" is dead). Garbage can in the ring, broom in the ring, van Dam in
the ring after a punch from Hardy, Hardy in the ring. Hardy kicking the
back of the leg - going for a spinning toe hold but van Dam kicks him
away...Hardy right back over to kick the knee again. Kick to the back of
the knee, broom to the back of the knee, whack again...van Dam lifts his
leg to make the third swing miss - van Dam with a kick in the back. Broom
dropped, van Dam's got it - backbreaker using the broomstick in the back as
well. Each man has picked a body part - van Dam with a stomp. Head to the
buckle, three shoulder drives in the kidneys - superfluous backflip - and
one more shoulder in the back. van Dam outside - back in with a chair.
Kick, right, every shot to the back - into the corner, dropping the chair
before going into the front flip, and there's a monkey flip out and Hardy
lands on the chair. van Dam goes outside and introduces a table at
ringside. Hardy is having trouble getting up - van Dam back in - stomping
the kidney, another stomp in the back. Hardy sat on top - van Dam with an
overhead kick. van Dam to the apron, kidney punch, kidney punch, climbing
up - he's not gonna suplex him through that table - he's NOT gonna - no,
Hardy counters, kick in a sensitive area - WOW! A Frankensteiner from the
very top as van Dam ends up crotched! Hardy covers - 1, 2, NO! Clearasil
says thanks for the spot so we can replay it. Hardy with a clothesline
that takes both men outside. Hardy says "hmm, we need the twelve foot high
ladder in this match - I hope there's one under this ring" and WOW there it
is. van Dam trying to grab the ladder away - Hardy just sandwiches him
into the apron. Ladder 'cross the body. Hardy puts van Dam on the table -
right, right, right, right..well, here he goes, climbing to the top - I
don't think this move EVER works - Hardy standing on top - SOMERSAULT
SENTON...MISSES!! The table pretty much explodes on impact. Clearasil
with the replay. Korderas is calling for help while van Dam shows
"concertn." Here's Mike Sparks, Tony Garea, and Chris the Trainer Dude
Whose Last Name I Don't Know. And now a couple EMT's. Why won't van Dam
pin him? I guess he isn't much of a heel after all. Hardy doesn't want
the stretcher - they'll help him walk away. Holy cats, RAVEN inserting
himself with a garbage can lid across the back of Rob van Dam's head!
Looks like a 24/7 thing, as Jack Doan is with him - and now they're all in
the ring - van Dam into the corner, running knee, bulldogged out into the
chair (Cole: "DDT") and now Raven is just waiting for van Dam to get up.
Finally, Raven picks him up on his own - EVENFLOW - sorry, "Raven Effect" -
1, 2, NO! Raven mounts van Dam and punches away - now repeatedly ramming
his head into the mat. Head to the buckle, van Dam sat on top - Raven up
from behind - head to the top of the post - van Dam manages to lean over
and grab the garbage can lid and swing back to Raven - another shot and
Raven falls to the centre. van Dam with the Fivestar frog splash - man,
this dude NEVER jobs - no no, I was talking about Hardy this time - 1, 2,
3. (9:06) "Stop it! Stop the music!" Oh boy, it's STEPHANIE CAN'T ACT!
"What is - what is going on here? I'm in the back - I'm in the back
getting fitted for my brand new hat - and I see the members of my own team
fighting each other! Raven - Rob - what the heck are you guys thinking?
We're on the same team! We're one family! I did not spend MY hard-earned
money on the Alliance to see it fall apart! Now, you two get up - get up,
you're not hurting that bad, get up - get up and shake hands like
gentlemen! Come on, Raven. Come on. The two of you shake hands, we're
one team - ONE team - we're a family, shake hands!" But instead, Raven
shoves him. van Dam shoves back. "NO! NO no! Stop!" The sound of
breaking glass heralds the arrival of STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN & MRS. AUSTIN
- Austin is so unhappy, he shoves the ladder over on his way to the ring.
Raven gets a shove - van Dam gets a shove as well. Austin grabs
Stephanie's mic (GOD BLESS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN). "What the heck GET
OVER HERE....what the hell do you think you guys are doing? Look at me!
Huh? What do you think you're doin' RVD? What? He started it? What?
We're supposed to be a group! We're supposed to be together! Huh? Kurt
Angle - Kurt Angle ruined Austin Appreciation Night last Monday - well you
guys are making an embarrassment of the Alliance tonight. It makes me
sick! You're not SHUT UP what? I said shut up. You think I'm gonna come
out here and watch the Alliance crumble right in front of my eyes? Oh no
I'm not gonna do that. It will not crumble in front of my eyes - what?
That's right. Kurt Angle can pull all the little - GET OFF MY BELT - Kurt
Angle can do everything he wants, but he will not destroy the Alliance. Do
I make myself clear? Do I make myself clear? What?" "YES SIR." "And I
want both of you guys to get out of this ring - get out of my ring, and
take your little butts to the back, and act like respectable Alliance
members. What? I said get outta here. If I hear about you fightin' in
the back, I will come find you. What? Now get outta here." Before van
Dam leaves, though, he takes the time to tell Austin that he's Rob van Dam,
and points to himself. "GITOUTTAHERE! AHHHH EHHHHH EHHHHHHM - What?
Get. Kurt Angle can try to embarrass the Alliance as much as he wants, but
it don't mean a damn thing to Stone Cold Steve Austin. What? I said it
don't mean a damn thing to Stone Cold Steve Austin. You will not make an
example-- you will not embarrass Stone Cold Steve Austin. You will not
embarrass the Alliance. As far as I'm concerned, it should be Austin
Appreciation Day 365 days a year. What?" Stephanie takes the mic back.
"Steve, the Alliance does appreciate you. *I* appreciate you. And truth
be told, every single one of the fans in this arena appreciates YOU!" The
Y2J countdown appreciates him too - I guess. CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO is out
to extend this segment...and this paragraph! "Stephanie, I would
appreciate it if you would *please* SHUT THE HELL UP! You know, I know the
Alliance would be here tonight - I knew you'd be in full force - after all,
you do boast the deadliest weapon known to mankind within your arsenal -
I've got evidence of it right here, roll the footage!" (Let Us Take You
Back to Last Monday when the Alliance had a singalong) "Stab me in the
brain with an ice pick - I surrender, I surrender! If I wanted to endure
something that excruciatingly rotten, I would've eaten one of Debra's
cookies instead! But you know what, Steve? I, too, have a little tribute
song that I wrote myself. And I'd like to sing it for you right now. Did
you ever know that you're a jack(beep) / the biggest one I've ever
seeeeeeeeen... Man, my throat got a little bit parched, it's a little bit
dry - Austin, you got any beverages, you got anything to drink, whaddaya
say, Steve...GOT MILK?" (Let Us Take You Back to Monday Again) "What's up
with the long face, junior, don't you know you never cry over spilt milk.
But you know I had an ulterior motive for coming out here tonight, Austin.
Apparently, Kanyon has challenged Kurt Angle to a nontitle match, so that
means that you're free...tonight. So what do you say that, oh, I don't
know - you have a match with Y2J...for the World Wrestling Federation
championship right here tonight on SmackDown!?" "You know you come out
here with that stupid little haircut...you run down Stephanie, you talk
about my wife's cookin', you come out here and you sing the praises of Kurt
Angle for ruining Austin Appreciation Night?" "Y2J!" "What? What? What?
What? What? You think you're so special that you come out here and you
deserve a title shot with Stone Cold Steve Austin? What? Okay...you're
asking for a title shot...Stone Cold Steve Austin will put the title on the
line! Just not tonight. What?" HAHA AUSTIN RULES "Yeah, if you didn't
hear me - no title shot. You want a match? You little long haired piece
of trash, you got it, but you don't deserve a title match, and that's the
bottom line. What? .... What?" "Austin sux!" "So you're saying you WILL
have a match with Y2J tonight, but just not for the WWF Championship."
Austin vigorously shakes his head. "No." "All right. Well after tonight,
after I do beat your (beep) in that ring...that's gonna make me the #1
Contender for the WWF Championship. And remember this, Austin - when all
of these Jerichoholics....are cheering and screaming, remember, they're not
booing you - no, after they found out about your newfound love for milk,
they're gonna be chanting MOOOOOOO." That's the cut, hit his music! Wow,
we just burned a half hour outta this show.
Tazz smuggles Stacker 2 - but wait! I thought he was a member of the Alliance?
And now, the WWF Slam of the Week, brought to you by Adidas and Foot
Locker! From RAW, we take a quick look at the twelve man tag, which was
capped by Big Show's ... umm, that move he does. I forget
THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW & THA 1 BILLY GUNN - The
Dudleyz appear on ByTe ThiS! tomorrow, by the way. Gunn runs ahead so he
can quickly become WWF in peril - into the corner, double punch. D-Von
gets a swing on show as he climbs onto the apron. Gunn into the corner,
boot up, off the ropes, clothesline, off the ropes, up and over, Bubba Ray
with a shot in the back, D-Von with the clothesline. Stomp, stomp. Boot
to the lower abdomen. Going for the spinning toehold (what is it with that
move tonight?) but Gunn kicks him into his corner, so he tags. Bubba Ray
with a death suplex - and another shot for Show, making sure that he gets
angry enough to keep referee "Blind" Tim White distacted. Bubba Ray with
an open-handed slap. Right, chop, right, elbowdrop, elbowdrop, swearing
for Show, stomp. Tag to D-Von - snapmares him over - off the ropes with a
big legdrop. 1, kickout. Edge defends the intercontinental championship
tonight! Tag - into the ropes, two heads down - Gunn kicks Bubba Ray and
DDT's D-Von. Hangman's neckbreaker for Bubba Ray and all three men are
down. Can Show get that tag? Yes, he can. GUNN FLOP! but he gets the tag
on his way down - Show Diesels in - clothesline for Bubba Ray, clothesline
for D-Von, Bubba Ray, D-Von, avalanche for Bubba Ray, big boot for D-Von.
Show outside - Show CLIMBING TO THE TOP?? Going for a Savage elbow - but
MISSES! Bubba Ray tosses Gunn to the outside, then holds Show for the
headbutt to the graun. Gunn into the ropes (crowd chants "3D"), double
flapjack. Double gutshot for Show, into the ropes - Show says "you ain't
liftin' ME" and Bubba Ray gets nothin' but air. Forearm in the back for
D-Von. Gunn back up - Fame-Ass'er for Bubba Ray - Show with
ahhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM - I don't think he's getting up. 1, 2, 3. (3:33)
Wow these guys need some belts STAT.
TONIGHT: Ivory vs. Lita!
HEY! The Rock! He's walking! He asks a random guy for directions to the
APA, and before he continues... "You new? The Rock." And he offers a
handshake. "My name's--" "Ah ah ah..."
WWF stands for We Want Funds! Wanna drop a quick $39.95? They'll send you
three videos, three trading cards, and a T-shirt! "Break Down the Walls,"
"Kurt Angle It's True It's True" and "TLC Tables Ladders and Chairs" are
offered. Call now 'cause operators are standing by! (Well, probably
There's no experience like experiencing the WWF LIVE! Tix on sale Saturday
for Columbus for RAW, Dayton for SmackDown!, Baton Rouge for RAW, Mobile
for SmackDown!, Indianapolis for RAW, Moline for SmackDown!, and Ottawa for
Rock finds the APA offices, studies the door - and then walks right around
it (sacrilege!). "You hear somethin'?" "I didn't hear a thing." "You
know you coulda knocked on our door, you walked right through our wall!"
"What wall?" "That's the door right there, man, the door." "That wall,
that's our door - it's our office!" "How 'bout a knock?" "This is your
office." "Yeah, like that. You weren't raised in a barn!" "Watch the
Rock." Rock walks back over and knocks on the back of the door. "ROCK!"
"I'll be doggone. What's up, man?" "Great job at SummerSlam, the Rock is
back!" "I'm proud of you, brother, the WCW title is finally where it needs
to be." Amazingly, Faarooq fails to add "you know, I held that title eight
years ago." Rock is given a beer and dealt a hand. They're gonna lay some
smack down all over Denver tonight. Rock lays down his hand - four aces
and a deuce. Rock tells them to keep the money, he'll just take the beer.
"DAMN!" "How'd he do that?" "He cheated, man."
Meanwhile, Edge is on the phone with Grandma Edna - Christian wants to talk
to her, but she hangs up on him - that callous bitch. "Hello? Hello?
Stupid thin air." Christian says he was just in a meeting with
Commissioner Regal and he can ensure that Edge will leave Denver with his
intercontinental championship - namely, he had his match cancelled and
replaced with a tag team title shot - they can be the octopusses! Edge
interrupts Christian's "eight times" dance by asking "doesn't that mean we
have to face Undertaker & Kane?" "Dude, we've beaten them
before....haven't we? We must have. We've beaten everybody. Listen, it's
gonna be great (to the trophy) and I'll see you later."
Meanwhile (3), Palumbo, O'Haire, Credible and Guerrero have gathered around
Kanyon, proudly displaying his title belt, and even prouder that their
leader (Austin) has selected HIM to take out Angle. Palumbo says that
nobody cares about Olympic Gold - besides, only *amateurs* can win Olympic
Gold - and his match tonight is in the bag. "Who better than Angle?"
So you're telling me that "O" is a remake of "Othello?" OHHHHHHHH I GET IT
The WWF Rewind is brought to you by RC Cola! From RAW, everybody
sings...until Angle unleashes the awesome power of milkomania
T ANGLE (with Clearasil presents Unforgiven!) v. KANYON in a nontitle
match - you know, *TNN* doesn't have to put a "Recorded Earlier" up on the
screen - it's kinda like saying "wow, the west coast sure sucks." Well, it
DOESN'T - nyah nyah nyah! Lockup, Angle gets the waistlock and muscles him
down, floating over into a headlock. KAnyon back up - to the corner -
shoulder in the gut, again. Right hand, "Who better than Kanyon?" and
right. Into the opposite corner is reversed, Angle with a clothesline.
Austin looks on from his dressing room. Right, into the ropes is reversed,
Angle ducks, then hits a crossbody for 2. Head to the buckle, again,
again, right, into the ropes, going for the belly-to-belly but Kanyon rakes
the eyes. Kanyon off the ropes - Angle tries to stop him with a hiptoss
but Kanyon reverses to a neckbreaker. Leg is hooked - 1. Kanyon puts a
shin on Angle's windpipe and starts arguing with referee "Blind" Brian
Hebner. Austin is still watching. Kanyon puts Angle's arm between his
legs, then rolls back into a variation of a cruicifix (wow) for 2. Right
hand by Kanyon. "Kanyon sux!" Another right hand. Angle blocks the next
one, right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, but Angle hits the
flying jalapeno. German suplex - holding on for two - Kanyon back elbows
out, but ends up coming off the ropes and landing in an Angle
belly-to-belly. Angle wants the Olympic Slam, but Kanyon drops down to hit
a jawbreaker on the knee. Kanyon hits the Flatliner (which Tazz calls "the
mumbleslursomething") but only gets 2. Kanyon decides to use the
belt...but Angle hits a drop toehold before he can land it - ANGLE has the
belt...Hebner pulls it away from him - and while Angle is distracted,
Kanyon hits a Russian legsweep for 2. Angle fighting back - right, right,
right, into the ropes is reversed, gutshot by Kanyon, going for a second
Flatliner but Angle blocks it - back elbow, elbow, twisting the arm around
and hitting the Olympic Slam! (And almost killing Kanyon - oooh) DOWN
COME THE STRAPS! Anglelock applied - and Kanyon taps. (3:44) Angle holds
onto it a bit longer than necessary, so Hebner pulls him off - and Angle
chases him out of the ring and kicks the belt after him. Replay of Kanyon
giving it up.
NEXT: Six man action!
Tough Enough ad
YES! You're watching UPN!
WWF Excess debuts Saturday at 10! Special Guest Host: Triple H! Will I
recap it? Well.....ONCE
RHYNO THE MAN BEAST and TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST (with SAP) and NAPPY T
(with Let Us Take You Back to RAW) v. APA (
with Let Us Take You Back to SummerSlam) and THE
ROCK - Pier Six to start (TV-14-DLV) but Test and Booker get put
outside, so referee "Blind" Nick Patrick gets Bradshaw and Rock in their
corner - Rhyno right, right, into the ropes, reversed, powerslam by Faarooq
for 2. Rhyno revereses a whip attempt into a short clothesline. He wants
the gore but ends up eating a three point stance tackle from Faarooq
instead. Tag to Bradshaw - into the ropes, shoulderblock, right, right,
into the ropes, big boot, elbowdrop, elbowdrop, 1, 2, kickout. "Rock E!"
Forearm in the back by Bradshaw. Into the ropes, head down, kick by Rhyno,
swinging neckbreaker. Head to the buckle, tag to Test, open shot, right,
right. Right. Right, into the opposite corner, clothesline. Right hand.
Into the opposite corner, but Bradshaw gets the boot up. There's another
shouldertackle. Tag to Rock. Right, right, right, right, into the ropes,
reversed, flying clothesline. Cole says that Rock will bring credibility
back to the WCW title - just like a Ric Flair or a Ricky Steamboat. Gag
me. Rock with the ugliest Samoan Drop in the world (Test's fault,
probably) for 2. Test with a surprise right, right, right, right, tag to
Rhyno. Rhyno right, right, right, right, but Rock reverses positions,
right, right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, Rock reverses
back, gutshot, DDT, 1, 2, T breaks it up. Rhyno with a stomp, double
sledge, ohhh T wants in. T gets the tag - Rock pops up and makes the
international "just bring it" sign. T goes back through the ropes and
looks about - the crowd is loud. Rock decides to just bring him in the
hard way, then. But Rock ends up taking a Wotsitolla Boot from Test - this
brings in Bradshaw - well now all six men are in - meanwhile, there's a
tripleteam on Rock as Patrick tries to get the APA back to their corner.
Tag to Test when everybody's back in place - open right hand. "Rock E!"
Right by Test - Rock comes back, right, right, right, off the ropes...but
Test lands a sidewalk slam. Bradshaw saves, and does a bit of stomping
before going back out. Right by Test, right, right, block, Rock right,
right, right, into the ropes, reversed, Rock ducks, Rock with the
spinebuster and both men are down. Who will make the tag? Tag to Booker -
tag to Faarooq! Clothesline for Booker T, right for Rhyno, right for Test
on the apron, kick to Rhyno's head, but T gets a gutshot - into the ropes
is reversed, but Faarooq counters with a spinebuster (!) - but Test is off
the top with a Savage elbow to break it up - this brings in Bradshaw for a
Hades lariat - T with a Harlem sidekick on Bradshaw to take HIM out.
Everybody's down again...Faarooq back to his feet - but Rhyno is back in -
GORE! GORE! GORE! T is feeling it - kick to Faarooq's gut - dropping down
to one knee and starting to quiver - but Rock is back over! Right, right,
right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT and Booker is out of the ring. And Rock
is after him! Head to the STEEL steps! Back in under the bottom rope -
but T recovers quickly and hits the axe kick to Faarooq, still pretty much
out in the ring. Rock wants back in but Test pulls him back out and brawls
with him just long enough for Patrick to count a fall on Faarooq. Winners:
Alliance. (6:22) T makes it all the way back up the ramp...then clears
the area. Back down on one knee - shaking his head, screaming...and
breakdancing back up.
TONIGHT: Stone Cold vs. Chris Jericho!
Commentators shill "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
To WWF New York we look...
...and inside is X-Pac. "Yeah. So last Sunday at SummerSlam, I won back
MY WWF light heavyweight championship. And you know what that makes me?
The first person in history - HISTORY - to ever win titles at the same time
from both organisations. And I am the one that brought prestige back to a
division that was nonexistant until I let my presence be known. So I guess
that makes me one of the greatest superstars to ever set foot in a WWF
ring. If you don't believe me, ask anybody I've ever been in the ring
with. Still don't believe me? C'mon step up and come get you some, WWF,
WCW, short, tall, big, small, I don't care. Because greatness is standing
in front o' you people, and it's about time that you realised it." Hey,
what about Ultimo Dragon?
To the commissioner's office we go. "You know, I think this is going to
work. He won't know the difference, how will he know the difference? The
man's a bloody imbecile, he won't know the difference. Come in." "MOPPY!
MOPPY!" "Hallo Perry, how are you?" "Have you seen Moppy?" "I know
you've been going through a lot of heartache lately, a lot of distress, but
being the good commissioner that I am, guess who I found for you..."
"Moppy?" "Looking as radiant as ever...here she is." "Moppy! ...hey!
This isn't Moppy! This is an ordinary house mop and somebody painted a
face on it!" "It's had plastic surgery!" "What, do you think I'm stupid,
huh?" and he whacks Regal, then works over the suit of armour. "MOPPY!
MOPPY!" or is he saying "Stella" 'cause it's that kind of camera angle.
Regal surveys the carnage. "That wasn't one of your better ideas, was it?
Bloody idiot." Then he throws the mop head at Tajiri.
Meanwhile, in the Room of Fun, Debra fumes. "I am so hot - I can't believe
Christ Jericho went out there in front of millions of people and ran down
my cookies again - I am so mad - ooh! You know what, though? I want you
to have one of my cookies 'cause it will make me feel better." "What?"
"'Cause I don't DARE let Jericho run down my cookies. Here, go ahead and
have one." "Right now?" "Please, yeah. For me?" "You know if I eat one,
I'll have to eat the whole damn tray." "Oh you can have maybe four or
five." "I don't know. Right now?" "Yeah, go ahead. 'cause I am just SO
mad..." Debra turns her back and Austin dumps the tray on the floor.
"Ohhhh, geez. Look! I dropped 'em. They slid off the tray!" "That
Jericho - you know what, he's got you so mad, 'cause I know you wouldn't
intentionally do that to me." "Never." "Ohhhh - you know what, I want you
to go out there, I want you to focus on Jericho, and I want you to get him
for me." "Make an example out of him." "Yeah! Because he's got you so
upset - he's got ME upset!" "Make an example out of him for the Alliance,
for you!" "And for the cookies!" "He's gonna pay. Nobody does this to
you." "You're right. 'cause I'm Debra AND Stone Cold Steve Austin's wife!"
UP NEXT: The WWF tag team titles are on the line - Edge & Christian take on
Kane & Taker!
And now, Corn Nuts presents the hardcore smack of the night! From RAW,
Christian fails to win the European championship
WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: KING EDGE & CHRISTIAN v. KANE and TAKER (on his beautiful Rude
American bike - by his damn self) - During Taker's entrance, Edge shoots
Christian a deliberate "see what you've gotten us into" look. Christian
responds by going through the ropes and letting Edge start. Hands up, who
misses Sara? Thought so. Edge looks across the ring at Taker, slips the
lockup, right, right, right, right, right, Taker switches positions -
soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, into the opposite corner, Edge gets
an elbow up to stop the charge - but runs into a drop toehold (!) - it's in
Taker's contract that he does one of those a year - elbowdrop, elbowdrop,
cover, 1. Arm wringer, yankin' and crankin', another wrench of the arm,
and now it's time for Old School...and between the shoulderblades. Taker
pulls back - holy cow, it's the old jujigatame - Code Red! Code Red! Also
has the shoulders pinned, so referee "Blind" Mike Chioda starts the count -
and Christian comes in to break it up. Edge manages a Viscera, then tags
in Christian - Taker with a double choke, sits him on top, soupbone, tag to
Kane. Kane with an uppercut, then a super hiptoss back into the ring.
Sidewalk slam. 1, 2, Edge saves. Christian with a low blow as Chioda puts
Edge back in his corner. Christian pours it on - stomp, stomp, right,
right, right, right, right. Stomp. Right. Tag to Edge, right, right,
kick by Edge, right, right, into the ropes, Edge ducks the clothesline, but
eats the big boot. Tag to Taker. Tag to Christian - runs into a
clothesline. Soupbone. Into the corner, follow lariat, into the opposite
corner, scooped up onto the shoulder, snake eyes, off the ropes with the
big boot. Taker with the choke...but Edge comes in with a spear! This
brings in Kane - right, right, Edge out. Christian covers Taker - 1, 2,
NO! Going for the Unprettier, but Taker shoves him into the ropes,
gutshot, Last Ride, seeya. 1, 2, 3. (3:30) Man Taker is one awesome,
awesome dude. Everybody who wants him to retire SUCKS. Here's your replay
UP NEXT: Ivory vs. Lita!
Tazz shills Stacker 2 #2 - Say, does Tazz look particularly fat-burning to
you? Oh yeah, I think I'm supposed to recognise one of these other guys as
a "Sopranos" star - only, I don't have HBO so I have no idea.
WWF Shop Zone ad #2 - THIS offer is for Austin 3:16, The Rock's Know Your
Role, and The Three Faces of Foley - and the trading cards, and the T-shirt
Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight, where Jeff Hardy demolished a
table with his body
Your hosts are MICHAEL KING COLE & TAZZZZZZZZZZ. Jeff Hardy has been
diagnosed: it's ONLY bruised ribs. See, you can't *really* get hurt doing
Look! It's Lita! And she is LIMPING!
Last Week on Tough Enough - FUHFUHWID
LITA (with SmackDown! is brought to you by Foot Locker, Clearasil, and Corn
Nuts!) v. IVORY - I beg to differ - it was Jeff Gillooly who attacked Nancy
Kerrigan, and NOT Tonya Harding. Lockup, Lita shoves Ivory to the ropes,
standing switch, into the corner, Ivory breaks. Ivory with a kick to the
bad leg, stomp, stomp, grabs the ankle...but Lita hits the enzuigiri.
Shoulder to the gut. Vertical suplex. Lita stomps on Ivory's knee, stomp,
stomp, stomp, stomp. Clearasil Replay of the enzuigiri in the meantime -
looks like Lita is targeting the back of Ivory's knee as well. Ivory with
a leg sweep - elbow to the knee. Knee in the back - dropping to the mat.
1, 2, no. Ivory kicks the knee - and again. Lita fires back with a right
hand. Ivory kicks, then kicks the other leg when she realises she kicked
the wrong one. Kick. "Lita" chant. Lita comes back with a monkey flip.
Running clothesline, clothesline, into the ropes, reveresed, Ivory brings
her up, but Lita hits the 'rana on the way down. Side Russian legsweep by
Ivory as HURRICANE HELMS comes out. Lita stops her climb to the top to
clothesline Helms off the apron. Lita with a kick to Ivory, off the ropes
- but Helms lowers the bridge. Helms puts her back in the ring - Ivory
covers - 1, 2, 3. (2:38) MATT HARDY is out too late...Helms and Ivory are
outta there. Check the replay for Helms' interference.
Excess ad - live and interactive (on the east coast - sigh)
See the WWF LIVE! this week - tomorrow in Wichita, Saturday in Des Moines,
Sunday in Ft. Wayne, Monday in Grand Rapids for RAW, and Tuesday in Detroit!
WE ARE LIVE (Recorded Earlier) and check out the Mile High Skyline
Let Us Take You Back to SummerSlam for a series of stills and clips from
the WWF Championship match, complete with black and white stills any time
there's a lot of blood - which is weird, 'cause this is supposedly a TV-14
Commentators yak about Austin and Angle...and Austin and Jericho
NEXT: Stone Cold vs. Chris Jericho!
Backstage, Raven catches up to Rob van Dam. "We're not done with our
little dance. You keep acting all overjoyed at the fact that you're Rob
van Dam, but I'm Raven - the greatest hardcore warrior to ever walk the
WCW/ECW rings. And I took to heart what Stone Cold said, and when he's
done whipping Chris Jericho, I know he's gonna be in a damn good mood, and
I'm gonna ask him for a hardcore title match against you on Monday night."
"Hey, whatever Raven. I mean if you want a shot at my hardcore title, just
say so. Only, don't waste your time talkin' to me - Stone Cold's room is
just two doors down, and hey, when you talk to him, don't just tell him you
wanna be the next hardcore champion, tell him you want that hardcore
championship at the expense of everybody's favourite superstar - Rob van
Dam." "Oh I will." "Do that." "I will." "Yeah, good luck." "Yeah,
yeah." "See you soon." "On Monday!" "Be there." "Yeah." WOW SUCH
DIALOGUE - for those of you keeping score, *Raven* got the last word.
NEXT: Stone Cold vs. Chris Jericho! No no, this time we *mean* it!
Tough Enough ad
COLD STEVE AUSTIN v. CHRIS THU
RSDAY JERICHO in a nontitle match - before Jericho comes out,
COMMISSIONER REGAL appears. "Your name might be Stone Cold Steve Austin,
and you may be the WWF Champion, but you don't make the rules around here -
I do. And so tonight, your match against Y2J *will* be for the WWF
Championship." Austin responds by...grinning. Jericho rushes the ring and
here we go! Austin to the back, forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm, kick,
kick, head to the buckle, chop, chop, chop, elbow, elbow, into the opposite
corner, Jericho moves aside and Austin shoulders the post - arm wringer by
Jericho, pounding the shoulder, pulling the arm, overhand right to the
shoulder, again, again. Austin pulls the hair - into the ropes, head down
- Jericho with a small package for 2. Jericho with an armdrag - to an
armbar. Angle watches from a dressing room. Jericho still pounding the
shoulder - Austin powers out, but Jericho hits a crossbody for 2. Austin
with a droptoehold, floating over into a facelock, but Jericho counters
with a hammerlock - knee to the elbow, another knee to the elbow. Austin
back to his feet but Jericho still has the armbar - wrenching it over once
again - Austin powers out, but Jericho hits the shoulderblock. Up and over
- Austin wants the Austin Press, but Jericho stops, shoves him down and
keeps the legs - can he step over for the Walls? No, Austin has the bottom
rope before Jericho can even lock it in. Referee "Blind" Earl Hebner
forces the break. Jericho walking back to Austin - Austin pulls him
outside through the ropes...and follows. Head to the commentary table.
Back in a headlock - no, Jericho shoves Austin into the post, the shoulder
hitting once again! Jericho pulls the arm through the ring, and the
shoulder hits again - Jericho with two more pulls on the arm to bring the
shoulder to the post. Austin's dropped on the barricade. Jericho with a
knife-edge chop, chop, chop. Austin rolled back in - Jericho back in, but
Austin drops the hammer. Again we look at Angle. Jericho manages - well,
we don't know, we're watching Angle - but Austin holds his shoulder again.
Arm wringer by Jericho, steps over - and drops down to try to get HIS
armbar! Austin clasps his hands to try to prevent it - Jericho repeatedly
dropping his leg across Austin's chest - Austin lets go and Jericho pulls
back on the short arm scissors - Austin rolls...and grabs the bottom rope.
Jericho hangs onto the arm - arm wringer - chop, Austin puts Jericho in the
ropes - and hits the spinebuster - but again clutches his bad shoulder.
Austin calls over Hebner to talk about his shoulder...Jericho up from
behind - Austin's trick knee acts up. Knee between the shoulderblades by
Austin. Big forearm in the chest. Austin drapes Jericho over the top tope
- choking him on the top rope - now pulling back to snap Jericho back to
the centre. Austin tosses Jericho outside again - and again follows.
Austin rams Jericho's back into the post. Big knife-edge chop by Austin -
chop - and back into the post once again. Austin rolls back in...grabs
Jericho's hair and pulls him up to the apron - suplex back in - NO, Jericho
down the back, waistlock, rollup, 1, 2, NO! Austin SNAPS back with a
clothesline. Austin tells Hebner Jericho was pulling his trunks - man,
Austin knows ALL the little things...AND HE DOES 'EM. Stomp. Head to the
buckle - blocked - Jericho with a gutshot, head to the buckle, chop, chop,
into the opposite corner is reversed, Jericho up and over, double leg
takedown...going *again* for the Walls...but too close to the ropes and
Austin hooks the bottom rope. Hebner forces the break - Jericho argues -
Austin tries to take advantage of his back turned - but Jericho steps
aside, Austin into the buckle bad shoulder first, Jericho with the
bulldog...Jericho with the Lionsault - NO into the knees!! Both men are
down...Austin up first - daring Jericho to get up - KICK WHAM NOOO Jericho
hooks the arm, turns around and drops down with the Kunze armbar!! Austin
again crawls to the ropes...and grabs the bottom rope. Wow, Tazz said
"Fujiwara!" Jericho back on him - chop, chop, into the ropes, reversed,
Jericho ducks, ducks again, leaps into a rollup - 1, 2, Austin rolls it
around - grabs the leg with one arm, and the middle rope with the other -
1, 2, 3. Oohhhhhhhhh. Champ escapes by the skin of his teeth. (8:14)
Jericho is in shock. Here's the replay. Austin back up to the ramp...and
behind the curtain without incident. I think Jericho's VERY unhappy, but
too bad - credits are up and we're out.