I GET LETTERS: Official [slash] translator and MiniDisc trader Hector Sanchez writes in: Friends, family, ex-girlfriends, etc...... sorry i haven't been around lately folks, i have been busy what with all the recent events going down. No word yet as to when I am on my way out or not, just kind of waiting around, keeping busy at work. the bags are packed though, so it should be any day now. All i ask for is that you keep me in your prayers and hope that the world can work all of this crap out. These have been an interesting few years, and i would have never thought i'd be on the brink of participating in a major world war. Being one of the few Arabic linguists that our country has, I am in a heck of a position to contribute, something I can be proud of. Although I have never been the most patriotic of people, I understand why we must do what we do. It all makes sense now, because it could have been any of you on those planes, and that is a fear i don't want to live with. I know I may have not been in contact with a great many of you these past few days, months, years, etc. but i am sending you this e-mail to let you know I am thinking of all of you when i put my uniform on. And, god forbid, if i don't come back, for whatever reason, know that i love and respect all of you.....May you all have only happy days and live under the grace of God peacefully. Ma Salaama,
Hector UPN! Thursday! TV-PG-DLV One World Leader Attitude - WWF! Close captioned logo - Opening Credits PUH-PYRO! From the Scaia Center in Dayton, OH and SAP transmitido en espanol a UPN and the Score 27.9.1 (taped 25.9), this is WWF SmackDown! TONIGHT: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho for the hardcore title, one more time! TONIGHT: There's a limousine in the parking area, one more time! WCW TAG TEAM TITLE: FUN BROTHERS v. TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST and NAPPY T (with Shane Can't Dance) - Your hosts are MICHAEL KING COLE & PAUL E. HEYMAN - since Tazz is at WWF New York for the Tough Enough finale (coming up NEXT!) Referee is "Blind" Nick Patrick - hmmm. Heyman is sure Austin's in the limo - somehow, I doubt it. Here we go: Test and Taker start. Lockup, side headlock by Taker, Test to the ribs, again, powering out - shoulderblock by Taker. Up and over, ducks a clothesline, gutshot, soupbone, soupbone, vertical suplex, cover...1. Tag to Kane - open kick to the ribs. Right hand from Kane, into the ropes, head down, Test kicks. Test ducks a clothesline and catches Kane in a sidewalk slam for 2. Right hand. Tag to the Book - right by Test, kick by T, kick, kick, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, Kane with a quick bodyslam, legdrop off the ropes, 2. Tag to Taker - open kick. Arm wringer...T to the eyes. To their corner, tag to Test - Test with a series of rights, T with a kick, into the ropes, double back elbow. Patrick, of course, is busy discussing the economy with Shane on the apron, and not noticing all this extracirricular action. Test with a right. Taker reverses a whip into the corner, but Test gets the elbow up. Test running at Taker...right into Code Red! Taker breaks the cross arm breaker quickly, going to the arm wringer, shoulder drive, pumphandles the arm, going to the corner - it's Old Skool time, and Taker connects. Taker steps over into the armbar...but lets go, seeing T come in . T in the choke - SHANE in a choke as HE gets on the apron - Test from behind with an uppernut to break it ALL up, then tosses him outside. Booker is waiting, and Shane joins him in working him over. Head into the steps. Taker thrown back in JUST as Patrick turns back around. Head to the buckle, right, back elbow, right, back elbow, into the opposite corner, clothesline follows. Gutshot by Test, WOW nice suplex - 1, 2, Taker gets the shoulder up. Tag to T. Right to the body. Arm wringer, back kick to the exposed chin. T is feeling it - and there's his Special Kneedrop. Tag to Test - open shot. Right by Test, soupbone fires back. Right by Test, soupbone. Soupbone, soupbone, momentum turning his way - into the ropes is reversed, Taker ducks the clothesline and hits a flying clothesline of his own! Taker crawls over - T stops it at 2. Test sent into the ropes, but he put his head down - Test with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Test to the rear headlock. Fans coming alive for the Dead Man - Taker to his knees - uppercut breaks it up - Test into the corner sternum first, then he backs into a death suplex! Test up - right, soupbone, right, soupbone, soupbone, Test with a knee. Taker sent into the ropes, ducks, both men hit a clothesline and stay down. Again the crowd and/or the heat machine get fired up as both men reach for their corners - no, they both turn back to each other - DOUBLE BIG BOOT! AGAIN both men are down - that gets a Subway Replay. HOT TAG TO KANE!! Kane decides to shove T off the apron first - now over to Test - right, right, right, into the corner, clothesline, clothesline for T, sidewalk slam for Test, big boot for T, ducks Test's boot - choke - CHOKESLAM! 1, 2, Shane pulls Patrick outside! Oh, he needed to tell him he had something in his eye. I *hope* he's okay! Taker is over to put in HIS two cents - how do you like your SOUPBONE, Shane? Back inside the ring, T catches Kane with the Harlem sidekick. AXE KICK! Shane is eating soupbone after soupbone - T from behind to turn THAT around - Taker's head hits the commentary table - again - Taker thrown back in - Test and Kane are outside - Kane turning it around and now they're over the barricade and battling out through the crowd...wait, both of them are the legal men? T covering Taker - 1, 2, NO! Right, right, right, right, Patrick meekly complaining about the closed fist and T stopping to talk to him - mistake - Taker turns it around, soupbone soupbone soupbone soupbone. Into the corner is reversed, Taker reverses back and T runs SMACK into Patrick, then they both collide with Taker and all THREE men tumble. Shane puts a chair in the ring - T grabs it on his way back to his feet. Swing and a miss - Taker with a choke - CHOKESLAM! Taker strikes the pose - Shane comes in and WHACK in the back with the chair. Shane tries again - Taker ducks this one and grabs Shane. Last Ride wedgiebomb! But no sooner has he connected than T WHACKS him in the head with the chair and covers - Patrick wakes up - 1, 2, 3. Ladies and gentlemen, we have new WCW tag team champions. (10:44) Neither man was legal but that's probably the least of our concerns. Patrick, Shane and T all help each other (and the belts) up the aisle and outta here. WWF Home Video ad Hey, it's the WWF live! Catch the action Saturday in Jacksonville, Sunday in Biloxi, Monday in Baton Rouge for RAW, and Tuesday in Mobile! Moments Ago, three paragraphs ago - Patrick and T have dueling facial expressions During the Break, Test met up with his cohorts, who piled into the limousine (oh, I guess it's NOT Austin's) and drove away - they took Patrick with 'em. Commentators react LAST SUNDAY: the Angle family celebrated in the ring Let Us Also Take You Back to Last Sunday when Austin grabbed the ring apron before tapping out Let Us Take You Back to Monday, where Shane showed Earl Hebner he made the wrong call - but didn't change his decision Again, Heyman says Austin will show up tonight - and just like Monday, he promises that he'll be wearing a hell toupee. LILIAN GARCIA was dispatched to the commissioner's office - where Regal says that if Shane is going to interfere in WCW title matches, then *he'll* use *his* power as well - so there'll be a WWF tag team title match tonight, and the Dudley Boyz will take on...Kurt Angle and the Rock. And now, the Hardcore Smack of the Night, presented by Corn Nuts - corn gone wrong! From RAW, highlights of the Jeff Hardy/Rhyno match - culminating in Rhyno goring Hardy in midair to retain his title. Rhyno, van Dam and Kanyon talk about Steve Austin - or the lack thereof tonight. Kanyon says he heard Austin trashed his hotel room after Unforgiven, then tells Rhyno they're up for their match with the Hardyz, and Rhyno takes off. "Rob, before I go, man...I just wanted to thank you again for settin' me straight on Monday, I mean...you were there for me." "I'm pretty cool like that." "And Lita...she had her hands all over me!" "All right!" "As a matter of fact, your advice is the reason she likes me." "Oh, come on now - what's not to like?" "You're right. I mean, who better than Kanyon, right?" "Yeah, there you got!" We check the parking area - nope, no Austin yet HARDY BOYZ (with Lita - and SmackDown! is sponsored by Whacko Tobacco, "The Mummy Returns" [starring THE ROCK andbrendanfraser] and Subway: eat Jared) v. RHYNO and KANYON (with Let Us Take You Back to Monday) - both Hardyz lost on Monday, yep. Matt and Kanyon start - Matt from behind when Kanyon takes a lingering look at Lita. All over him - into the ropes, clothesline, fistdrop. Gutshot, into the ropes, but Kanyon hangs on and goes out - another look to Lita - Matt out after him, right, right, right, into the post, is reversed and MATT hits hard. Kanyon in, Kanyon out. Matt repeatedly shoved into the barricade - Rhyno gets in a stomp as well, much to referee "Blind" Mike Chioda's dismay. There are American flags on the back of the zebra shirts, by the way. 1, 2, no. Tag to Rhyno, who pounds away. Here comes Matt back - right, right, off the ropes, nope Rhyno with a spinebuster for 2. Tag to Kanyon - open kick. Right by Kanyon, right, shoulder to the abdomen, into the opposite corner, boot up by Matt when Kanyon runs in. Another boot up - but Matt runs into a Northern Lights suplex for 2. Kanyon out to the apron for a slingshot elbowdrop...but MISSES! Matt rolls towards his corner...slowly....tag to Rhyno...HOT TAG TO JEFF! Clothesline by Hardy, right for Kanyon, ducks Rhyno's clothesline, another clothesline off the ropes. Double leg takedown, Speaking in Tongues double legdrop. Kanyon gets a sitout jawbreaker. Rhyno put in the corner, Poetry in Motion. Matt knocks down Rhyno, knocks down Kanyon, Jeff with a swantonbomb on Rhyno as Chioda tries to get Matt back to his corner - Kanyon, behind the ref's back with a ... cross between a double leg slam and a Rydeen bomb - sitout double leg powerbomb? Whatever, it looked nasty. Kanyon pops Matt one to take HIM out of the ring. Chioda turns back and sees Rhyno covering Jeff - 1, 2, NO!! Well NOW what. Tag to Kanyon, who grabs Jeff's leg - too bad he didn't know that the reverse mule kick always come next - HOT TAG TO MATT! Second rope clothesline, scoop...and a slam, sitout clothesline, 1, 2, no. Into the ropes, hiptoss blocked, Kanyon with a swinging neckbreaker - nice - and both men are down again...but Rhyno is back up...and waiting - but Matt moves aside - and Rhyno goes into the post! Cole: "Oh, he missed the gore! The gore! The gore! Rhyno missed the gore!" Heyman: "I heard you the first time!" Jeff adds a tope con hilo for an exclamation point. Back in the ring - Matt with a gutshot, too much ahhhhhhhhhhhh as Kanyon shoves Hardy out of the Twist of Fate attempt - whip reversal into Lita on the apron (why's she on the apron?) - Kanyon pulls up short and back elbows Hardy. Kanyon goes for the liplock, but Lita counters with the hot shot - Kanyon staggers back into the Twist of Fate - 1, 2, 3. (5:01) This, when you combine it with Monday's results, might be what Jeremy Billones would call "lateral movement" while compiling the WWF Ladder. Regal sips some tea. X-Pac comes in and tells Regal he wasn't ready for him Monday and wants a rematch. "Are you bloody daft, man? Is one thrashing a week not good enough for you?" "No, it's no---I mean... GET YOUR GEAR ON MAN! I'll see you in the ring!" Regal says he's already booked him tonight, and his match is next - oh, and it's against the Big Show. "Are you crazy, man? He's five hundred pounds! I'm the cruiserweight and light heavyweight champion! He needs to lose three hundred pounds to fight me!" 'Pac clears off the Commissioner's desk and storms out. "Temper temper!" Tough Enough finale ad Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2 Wanna win WWF tix? Check out the 7UP display at Albertson's or head over to upn44.tv! A different limousine pulls up...but it's not Austin, it's Christian. "Ah, the joy of Christian. CHRISTIAN!" A young fan asks him for his autograph. "NO!" WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW v. X-PAC (with Yaaaaaaalbert) - this should be a barn burner. Cough. Albert on the apron so Show goes for HIM - 'Pac from behind, chop, chop, chop, no effect. Show slaps him to the mat. Slap in the corner. Big beal across the ring. Well it's a big knee, well it's another, well it's a third. Well it's a Subway replay. Show pulls him out, then whips him back into the corner, and follows it with a clothesline. Well it's a big press slam - onto Albert on the floor! Show Diesels out of the ring and scoops 'Pac again - press over the top rope into the ring - Albert from behind - Show into the post. Albert puts Show back in - 'Pac with a karate chop and cover - 1, 2, BIG kick out from the Show. 'Pac kicks, kick, kick, Show shoves him away as if 'Pac were a gnat. 'Pac runs at him - Show catches him. Show presses him up, but 'Pac manages to jump off his chest dropkick style. BIG dropkick to the jaw. He wants the broncobuster...but gets caught in the choke. Albert on the apron with a belt - Show turns to him and drops him with one blow. X-Pac trying for the Viscera - caught - ahhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM. Good night. 1, 2, 3. (2:17) Albert with a scissors kick post-match, yaaaaaavalanche. Kick, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, and so on - here comes SPIKE DAMN DUDLEY to make the save - wait, let me read that back....Spike saving the Show....huh. Dudley walks up Show's chest to deliver the Dudley 'dog to Albert (!), but 'Pac clocks him with a belt shot. X Factor leave Show and Dudley laying and take off. Play what's passing for their music these days! Stephanie catches up with Rob van Dam in the locker room. "Hey Steph....you might wanna try knocking next time." Steph doesn't believe that once is enough. "Yeah, I heard that about you!" She says she's gotten him another hardcore title match with Chris Jericho, and she'll be right by his side once again. "Look, thanks Steph, but after what happened on Monday, don't do me any favours." Off he goes. Steph says to nobody in particular that she happens to be very *good* at doing favours. Boy, I sure wish I could grasp the subtleties and nuances of Stephanie's lines. UP NEXT: The hardcore championship is on the line! Rob van Dam vs. Chris Jericho! "Don't try this at home" PSA In the Rock's locker room, Kurt Angle meets up with him! Excitement! "Hey, Rock!" "What's up, my man?" "Nothing much. Hey, I heard you and I are gonna be teammates tonight." "That's right." "Who would ever have thought that the WWF Champion and the WCW Champion would be teaming up on the same night at the same time against the WWF tag team champions, no less?" "Honestly say...never ever thought I'd see it - never ever thought..." "Unbelievable!" "...hey, by the way...congratulations. I told you once already, but again, congrats." Man, what's with the Rock saying "I" all the time now? "Thanks, Rock. That means a lot." "It's a great thing." "Hey, you know - after tonight, after we kick the Dudleyz' butts, I was thinking, you know, maybe you and I could celebrate, you know, hang out. And I know the perfect place to go. It has exactly what you need - exactly what you want - exactly what the Rock loves." "Tell the Rock!" "Strudel." The Rock's smile disappears. "Whoa whoa whoa - whoa - whoa - whoa - Kurt - let the Rock - Kurt - let the Rock clarify something extremely important right now." "You talk about it all the time." "The Rock talks about it all the time, let the Rock clarify something to you right now - listen. The Rock loves...pie." "Yeah, I heard you talk about that too." "Pie. The Rock loves pie. All different types of flavours of pie. Big pie, little pie, chocolate pie, vanilla pie. Peanut butter pie." "Oh, that's good." "You try peanut butter pie?" "Yeah, I like it, yeah." "Peanut butter pie. Common theme - the bottom line is...pie. The Rock loves pie." "I got you." "The Rock HAS the People's Strudel, but the Rock loves...pie." "You know what - pie, strudel, it's all pastry, right? And you know what goes great with pastry?" "What's that?" "MILK. And I'm not talking about the little cartons, you know? I'm talkin' 'bout the great big JUGS of milk - the giant ones, humongous!" (Angle is holding his hands in the "titties" position in case you don't get it) "Humongous!" "So wholesome and fresh." "Tell the Rock!" "Makes you feel like a million bucks!" "Million bucks!" "Yeah! Yeah! You know, I don't know about you...but I'm pretty thirsty!" "Oh, the Rock is thirsty." "You know I'm gonna go to the cafeteria, and I'm gonna grab the first two...jugs I see, I'll be right back." "In the cafeteria?" "Yeah! You bet!" "Go GIT them jugs, Kurt!" The Stacker 2 Burn of the Week is the end of Monday's main event - Stephanie spoiling Rob van Dam's chance at the WCW Championship Here comes STEPHANIE PUTS HER HAND UPON HER HIP, WHEN I DIP YOU DIP WE DIP (with TV-PG-DLV ratings box) to join the commentary team. WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: ROB VAN DAM (with SAP transmitido en espanol) v. CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO - Champion enters first so we can get our reaction shot - van Dam is taken aback that Stephanie is sitting ringside after their conversation earlier - a bit of a surprise, given that he seems so laid back about practically everything else. Here we go! Lockup, side headlock by Jericho, van Dam powers out, Jerich shoulderblock. van Dam leapfrog, off the ropes, back to back over Jericho, waistlock, to the ropes and Jericho shakes him, armdrag by van dam, armdrag by Jericho, Jericho ducks a spin kick, van Dam ducks a clothesline, stalemate. van Dam spends too much time acknowledging the crowd and Jericho catches him with a clothesline. Stomp. Jericho picks him up, chop, knee in the gut, into the ropes, "Y2J" chant?, van Dam tries a reversal, ducks a clothesline, Jericho with a waistlock, pounding the back, belly-to-back throw...and 2 count for Jericho. Jericho shoves his face with his boot. Into the ropes, kick by Jericho, but van Dam puts up HIS foot to stop Jericho. Stomp by van Dam, stomp, kick, right, into the opposite corner, reversed, boot up by van Dam to stop the charge. van Dam vaults to the top - Jericho shoves him off to the floor!! Jericho out after him....or, rather, to find some weaponry underneath the ring - and comes up with a ladder. Jericho running at him - ladder to the head! Jericho shoves away timekeeper MARK YEATON and puts his chair in the ring. Back to van Dam for a kick in the gut - and rolled back into the ring. Knee to the head. Jericho positions the ladder - snap suplex onto the ladder! 1, 2, van Dam kicks out. Another big stomp. Jericho puts the ladder into position in the corner as we take a Subway replay. Chop by Jericho, whip into the ladder is reversed, and it's *Jericho* going face first into the ladder. van Dam slams the ladder onto Jericho, then runs the ropes and hits the superfluous somersault and senton onto the ladder! Cover, leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO! Subway brings you THIS replay. van Dam out, brings the chair back in - Jericho put into the oppostie corner, somersault, monkey flip onto the chair. Spinning legdrop. van Dam going up to finish him...but, instead Jericho pops up and crotches him! Jericho climbing up...on the second rope, right, right, going for it - van Dam fires back withe rights to the midsection, right to the face puts Jericho back on the mat. van Dam flies...but Jericho catches him and puts on the Walls of Jericho! This brings Stephanie in the ring, grabbing the chair - Jericho lets go and puts HER in the Walls og Jericho! She taps (as if that'll help) but the only thing that stops it is a superkick from van Dam. 1, 2, KICKOUT! van Dam has the chair - placed on the mat - looks like he's setting up for an Arabian move - Jericho DUCKS and van Dam sails into referee "Blind" Tim White, who runs into Stephanie, who shouldn't have been hurt at all hitting the corner. Jericho with a bulldog onto the chair! Lionsault HITS! But everybody's down - Jericho covers and there's no referee. Jericho lets up to bring White to his feet. Here comes van Dam - Jericho lets go of White and gives van Dam a drop toehold into Stephanie! Jericho with a kick, chop, whip is reversed, van Dam ducks the flying jalapeno and Stephanie takes THAT as well. That'll put her out of the ring (and hopefully out of the match). van Dam tosses Jericho the chair - oops, he catches it - VAN DAMINATOR. van Dam hooks the leg - 1, 2, 3. Champ retains. (7:34) Heyman leave the both to join CHUCK PALUMBO, THANKS FOR SHOWING UP TONIGHT TOMMY DREAMER, AWESOME MIKE AWESOME & HUGH MORRUS in making sure Stephanie is all right....and carry her to the back. WWF Home Video ad #2 Moments Ago, two paragraphs ago - Stephanie takes some moves, and Jericho takes a van Daminator After kicking out Chris the Trainer, Stephanie sends out the four men checking on her for a glass of water, some aspirin, and a specialist. "I KNOW what you've been thinking! You've been wondering how can DDP help me like me? Well I'm gonna show you. You see, I'm gonna get in YOUR head, and you are gonna get in mine. You're gonna see why DDP has NEVER had a bad day in his life. A few sore ones, but that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing! Why? Because that means I did the very best job I could in the ring that not. And you're gonna see, just like me, DDP, that I like me, you like me, and I'm gonna help you like you!" Christian tells his private security guy that he can't have children touching him....then notices he's watching one of those MAGIC monitors. He turns to see... Meanwhile, Edge arrives at the arena. Steve Lombardi meets him. "Edge! What's up?" "Hey, Brawler." "You wrestling tonight?" "No, no, I'm not here to wrestle tonight." "See the trainer?" "No, I'm not here to see the trainer." "Well - what are you doing here?" "Well, you know my - my little brother Christian? You know the guy who wears those stupid looking sunglasses and that obnoxious furry hat?" "Yeah, I know him." "Well, I'm not gonna leave this arena until I find him, and make every inch of his body look...like this." Edge removes his shades to reveal the gash underneath his left eye. "Now it may take a little while...but I think I'm up for it." Christian reacts to what he's just seen. "I gotta go - I gotta go." TONIGHT: The WWF tag team titles are on the line as the Dudley Boyz take on Kurt Angle & the Rock! Time now for the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by Lugz! From Monday, the exciting saga of Tajiri, Tazz, Stacy and Torrie is summed up in a series of clips from Tajiri and Tazz' match. The graphic don't lie: signed for Heat is a mixed tag between Tazz & Stacy Keibler and Tajiri & Torrie Wilson! In the APA office, Bradshaw is playing solitaire. Christian knocks at the door. "I need protection, where's your partner?" "That's none of your damn business now, is it?" Christian shoves a wad of cash under Bradshaw's nose. "I said I need protection." "Protection? You expect me to protect you after what you did to your brother?" "My money's just as good as anybody else's!" Bradshaw shoves him away. "The HELL it is! You're gonna need protection - you're gonna need protection from your brother...and from me. I could whip your little narrow ass right here in my office, but all of a sudden I feel like fighting. I think I'm gonna go visit Commissioner Regal and get me a intercontinental championship title match tonight. 'cause your ass SURE don't deserve to be champion. A nothin'! I'll see your ass out there." Bradshaw takes off. "What is goin' ON?" MOLLY HOLLY (with Earlier Tonight) v. IVORY - No Spike with Molly tonight, due to this clip you read earlier. Ivory slaps her own ass - I have no idea why, but I wouldn't mind her doing it again until I could figure it out. Lockup, side headlock by Molly...Ivory tries to fight it off and fails...now managing to turn it to a keylock...Molly kips up - arm wringer, armdrag. Chop, chop, into the opposite corner, no, pulled back to the first corner - elbow up by Ivory to turn it around, clothesline, elbowdrop, off the ropes with the legdrop - 1, 2, kickout. Ivory with a big kick in the gut. Stomp, arm wringer, wrapped around the top rope, and pounding on the back of the elbow. Big mare, leg is hooked - 2. Into the corner, Molly stops herself, climbs up, leaps over an oncoming Ivory, drops down and catches Ivory in a headscissors, nice dropkick, clothesline, into the ropes, back body drop. Into the corner is reversed, Molly catches herself again and leaps back - and they collide heads. Referee "Blind" Brian Hebner puts on the count - Ivory up first - cover - 1, 2, 3. (2:32) Looks like Molly is still out cold. Here comes THE HURACAN, pulling Molly outside and away from CHRIS THE TRAINER, and carrying her off in his arms. Here's a replay of the double noodle conk. Backstage, Hurrican carries Molly to Christian's limo...no, past it there's a curtain covering what sounds like a running motorcycle. "Behold - the Hurricycle!" Yikes. Hurricane deposits Molly in a sidecar and revs it up...and they take off. And I think the WORST part is...NONE of those people gathered nearby and watching lifted a FINGER to stop it! Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2 - again Ervin J. Nutter has his name on this building! Don't you wish YOU had a name like Ervin J. Nutter? (What, like Christopher R. Zimmerman?) Hmmm...No Mercy is coming! And it's brought to you by SUBWAY! EAT FRESH Back to the Rock and Angle show. "Hey, Rock. I couldn't find the jugs of milk. But you know what? I have something better." "Better than the jugs." "My book! For you." "You got a book?" "Yeah, yeah!" "Congratulations!" "It's True, It's True. Hey, you know what? You should write a book. You have a lot to talk about, Rock!" "Oh, really." "Oh, yeah! A lot!" "All right. Well...just let the Rock tell ya, the Rock already wrote a book. It's called The Rock Says... Number one best seller list." "Number one..." "New York Times. Hey, one day, the Rock smells it - could be you." "Oh, I hope so. Hey, hey, Rock, you should read chapter 14 - it's the best chapter in the book!" "Why's that?" "That was the best match of my life - I'm talking the WWF title match, against you at No Mercy, when I pinned you - oh, I mean, you should see what I have in there. I mean, wow." Again, the Rock's smile disappears. "Yeah, wow wow. Let the Rock ask you something. Where in this book is the chapter - probably two chapters, maybe even three, is when the Rock beat you for the WWF title? Is that in here?" "You know, it wasn't that exciting. A little paragraph..." "A little paragraph?" "I didn't think people would wanna, you know, read about that." "Of course they'd like to read about that! Don't you remember that night, Kurt Angle? No Way Out? Las VEGAS! Big city, bright lights. Remember the Rock was singing all night long - you remember the song! Well since Rock's baby left him / he found a new place to dwell / Well it's down at the end of Jabrone Drive at / SmackDown! hotel / Mmmm Rock feels so lonely baby... You remember that?" "Yeah." "Yeah! It's coming back to you now? You remember that night?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "All right. Hey...go ahead and sing. Sing for the Rock." "Rock...I can't sing, you have the voice for it, I can't do that stuff." "No, you can sing." "It doesn't come out right." "Well...excuse the Rock one second. (OH MY GOD - ROCK TURNS TO THE CAMERA) Would you like to hear Kurt Angle sing a song?" "Who are you talkin' to?" (OH MY GOD - KURT ANGLE CAN'T SEE THE CAMERA) "Rock's just talkin' to the millions. That's all. So...anyway...since we're here, it's just you and the Rock, sing a little bit for the Rock!" "Oh..." "C'mon! You got a brand new book..." "We gotta match!" "The Rock knows we got a match! Very important match. Come on." "Okay, let's see.... Well since Kurt lost his medals" "Yeah!" "Thrown into a river with large bass." "Large bass!" "He picked himself up and dusted himself off / and kicked Steve Austin's ass" "Yeah!" "I feel so golden baby / I feel so golden" "Yeah!" "I feel so golden I could die!" "Hahaha - good job - you can sing! You can sing that song, boy, that's good. All right, well I'll tell you what Kurt..." Rock grabs his belt and puts it on his shoulder. "It's time to lay the smack down." "Let's do it." It takes Cole less than five seconds to use the word "chemistry" in an attempt to drive the point home with the viewer. WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: ACOLYTE B RADSHAW v. CHRISTIAN - Bradshaw decides to head up the ramp and start things off his way. Kneelift, right, right, elbow, headbutt, and into the ring where the bell rings. Christian's belt shot blocked, Bradshaw shoves him down, again, head to the mat, elbowdrop, hooks the leg, kickout at 2. Into the corner, clothesline by Bradshaw, knee, overhand forearm. Headbutt. Into the ropes, big boot is evaded when Christian hooks the ropes and lets himself out - he's had enough. Bradshaw out after him - right hand - Christian manages a drop toehold into the STEEL steps. Christian tries to capitalise - stomp, stomp, rolled back in, but Bradshaw is back up - right, chop, Christian ducks and dropkicks the knees. Swinging neckbreaker, right, right, right, cover, 2, kickout with authority. Into the corner is reversed but Christian gets the elbow up. Runs at Bradshaw but meets the big boot. Into the ropes, Christian ducks, Christian caught - wow, I *worried* that Bradshaw might not get the fallaway slam in! Neckbreaker gets 2. Bradshaw wants the lariat but Christian rolls out again, grabs his belt, and says buh-bye - Bradshaw out again - clothesline drops him. Into the barricade. Big forearm in the back. Christian into the barrier. Christian gets the boot up on the followup and goes over the barricade - and now they're out in the crowd. Bradshaw whips him into another barrier. Right, chop, chop, head to a speaker. Whoops, cameraman tripped. Amazingly, referee "Blind" Teddy Long is just following them, asking politely for them to take it back to the ring, failing to count to ten. Christian taken into a concrete pillar. Christian ducks a punch and Bradshaw hits the concrete. Christian with a trashcan to the head. Fire extinguisher to the gut. Christian climbs into his limousine...it drives away...but stops. There's some shaking going on - Christian wants out...but he's pulled back in! Christian manages an escape, a "seen a ghost" face, and runs away...we look back to see Edge getting out of the limousine and showing all his teeth. (No contest? 4:something) WWF Home Video ad #3 Kurt Angle: It's True! It's True! ad Here's a look at WWF New York, the home of tonight's episode of Tough Enough ad - they ask the superstars who's gonna win - go figure, they only find one guy willing to give it to Chris. Hey, it may mean nothing, but here's the order they mention them: Josh, Taylor, Chris, Nidia, Maven Tough Enough, lest you forget, is NEXT! KUR T ANGLE and THE ROCK v. AD BREAK - Wow, it's pretty early to start the main event...maybe Austin WILL show up? Oh...maybe Angle will FINALLY get some time on the stick! "You know something...I'm glad I won the WWF title and all, ....but the more I think about it, the more that something doesn't seem right. You see, one of my three I's is integrity. And Stone Cold, I've realised, when you were tappin' out at Unforgiven, that your hand, your other hand was underneath the rope, so Stone Cold, wherever you are...if you want this title back....if you think that I should give this title back to you....well.....you can kiss my red, white and blue ass. Woooooow!" Man, that sounded - edited. Oh well, here comes the Rock - will HE get some mic time as well? Oh...I guess not. We're taking an ad break instead. 7UP/Albertson's/UPN 44 contest spot #2 Hey, what's one more Tough Enough spot? Ponder the question as you sit through another one One more check....nope, no Austin yet- wait, another black limousine IS pulling up - or is it the same one we saw at the beginning of the show? WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: KURT ANGLE & THE ROCK v. THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ - it's Bubba Ray locking up with Rock...eventually. Bubba Ray strikes first as Rock is momentarily distracted by D-Von - forearm, right, right, right, right, right. Into the ropes, reversed, Rock with a clothesline. Rock ducks, back suplex - 1, 2, nope. Tag to Angle - open kick. Right, right, right, Bubba Ray tries to fire back, but Angle stays on him - right, right, into the ropes, belly-to-belly for 1. Tag to Rock, open shot. Right, right, into the ropes but Bubba Ray holds on and pulls Rock into a short clothesline. Tag to D-Von. Right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, belly-to-belly throw. Tag to Angle. Open kick. Right, right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, but Angle pops out with a clothesline. Right, into the ropes, reversed, duck, Angle with a crossbody for 2. Tag to Rock - held open for a shot to the ribs. Rock right, blind tag, whip is reversed, Rock up and over...and into a clothesline from Bubba Ray. "Headbutt to the graun" spot when Angle tries to come in, occupying the attention of referee "Blind" Earl Hebner. Bubba Ray with a stomp on the head. Right hand. Right, right, Rock right, right, Bubba Ray knee, right, head to the buckle, Rock right, right, right, right, right, into the opposite corner, reversed, Bubba Ray with a big sidewalk slam for just 2. Tag to D-Von, Bubba Ray with a big slap, D-Von with a right, right, right, right, right, snapmare, drops the fist. Into the ropes, Rock ducks, gutshot, DDT! Both men down. Hebner at 5 when D-Von stirs. But the tag goes to Angle! Angle in with a clothesline for D-Von, right puts him down, another righ tputs him down - D-Von tries to reverse the whip but Angle pulls him into a belly-to-belly! Bubba Ray in, Angle ducks the swing and gives HIM a German suplex! D-Von running at Angle, who ducks - and Bubba Ray takes the shot! Angle slam for D-Von!! 1, 2, Bubba Ray pulls him outside!! Right hand puts Angle down - Rock runs over with a clothesline, then puts Angle back in! Bubba Ray bowls over Rock on the outside, while inside Angle hits "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, right, into the ropes is reversed, D-Von pulls Angle into a Slop Drop attempt, but Angle backflips OVER D-Von, and drops down to apply the ANGLELOCK!! Bubba Ray wastes no time breaking it up with a boot to the head. Double neckbreaker by the Dudleyz. "D-Von...his neck...his neck." Bubba Ray hits Angle in the back of the head, stomps the back of his head - say, I think they've picked a body part. Bubba Ray elaborately works into a neckbreaker. Forearm in the back. Another protracted neckbreaker by Bubba Ray. Forearm in the back. Into the corner, tag. D-Von in with a right hand. Snapmares him over - and into the headlock. "USA" chant - Angle fights to his feet...elbow in the gut, elbow, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, D-Von lands the jumpin' back elbow and asks who da man is. Forearm in the back, stomp, kick, and shoves Angle out, arguing with Hebner while Bubba Ray rams Angle's head into the announce table. Forearm on the chest, open-hand slap. Hebner finally catches what's happening and works on breaking it up as D-Von comes out to take over. Here comes *Rock*, taking Bubba Ray and slamming HIM into the commentary table. D-Von has a blatant choke inside the ring but the ref is slow to get there and notice. Elbowdrop in the "lower abdomen" between the legs. D-Von applies the neck vice (!), then puts another axehandle on the shoulderblade. Tag to Bubba Ray. Into the ropes, double shoulderblock. Bubba Ray drives an elbowdrop between the shoulderblades. Free shot for the Rock to bring HIM in. Dudleyz exchange without a tag. Right by D-Von - right by Angle, right, right, D-Von rakes the face to stop the comeback. Scoop...and a slam. D-Von is going up - DON'T DO IT! IT *NEVER* WORKS! - and misses a second rope senton. Both men are down. D-Von grabs an ankle and prevents him from reaching the Rock - leans back - and tags Bubba Ray in, who drops a fist on the ribs. Another shot to the neck. Angle manages to grab an ankle, but Bubba Ray kicks him in the face with his free leg before he can turn it into the anklelock. Bubba Ray with a choke using the bottom rope and pulling upwards. Another slow...no, NOT a neckbreaker - Bubba Ray has him back to back, yanking on his chin and lifting him off his feet! YOW. Angle put into the ropes, ducks the clothesline, DOUBLE clothesline and both men are down! Rock is chomping at the bit for a tag - tag to D-Von - HOT TAG TO THE ROCK! Rock right, right, right, right, right, right, right right right, into the ropes, reversed, Rock flies off with his flying clothesline! Bubba Ray in - "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT and Bubba Ray flies out of the ring. Rock is waiting for D-Von - spinebuster! Rock removes his elbowpad...off the ropes, off the other ropes - stops - and drops the People's Elbow. 1, 2, Bubba Ray flies in and breaks it up. Angle in - ANGLELOCK!! D-Von going for the save - Rock heads HIM off with another spinebuster - and into the Sharpshooter!! All that's left is a tapout...but no - SHANO MAC, NAPPY T & TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST run out - Angle lets go of Bubba Ray to try to head them off, but he's one and they're three. Meanwhile, a suddenly unoccupied Bubba Ray is free to tag the Rock to break up HIS submission hold. Shane runs over and takes out Hebner with one punch. The Dudleyz put a table in the ring. Rock is over to save Angle from Test and T - T gets a spinebuster on the ramp while Angle turns it around against Test...until Shane flies in with one of his flying moves that he likes to do. Rock eats Wotsitolla Boot out on the ramp. Angle tossed into the ring where the table is set - 3D THROUGH THE TABLE. A second table is put in place as Test and T put Rock in the ring. Rock fights back, but Bubba Ray prevents a Rock Bottom for D-Von - whip into the ropes - 3D THROUGH THE TABLE for Rock. Play their music! SmackDown! is OVER, go watch Tough Enough LIVE on MTV! Oh yeah.... (No contest, just over 14:00)