QUOTE OF THE WEEK: From the ezboard, Rockdotcom hits it: Someone is
asleep at the wheel up at WWF headquarters. Stephanie and Shane seem to be
the one that everyone want to blame for the decline on WWF TV, but im
sorry the blame has to come back to Vince Mcmahon. LOL, Im in the navy and
on a ship WHENEVER something goes wrong its the captains fault and Vinny
Mac is the captain of the USS Titan.
U! P! N! THURSDAY!
One World Leader Attitude - TV-PG-DLV - WWF!
LAST MONDAY: The night of a thousand FAXs
The Beautiful Opening Credits (ahhhhhhhh)
PYRO AWAY and so are we - coming to you from the Mobile Civic Center in
Mobile, AL 4.10.1 (taped 2.10) and SAP transmitido en espanol on UPN and
the Score.
TONIGHT: Dudley Boyz & Nick Patrick v. Rock & Chris Jericho & Mike
Chioda! OH BOY WRESTLING REFS!
TONIGHT: Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson in a bikini contest! OH BOY
WRESTLING BIKINI CONTEST!
But first....here come de money as SHANE CAN'T RAISE THE ROOF leads TEAM
W/ECW out to the ring for some WRESTLING TALK! "Last Monday night, Stone
Cold Steve Austin FAXed in his request for a rematch for the World
Wrestling Federation championship...and that request was denied
emphatically by WWF Commissioner William Regal, Regal flat out said 'no
rematch.' And that's why the Alliance is out here this evening. The
Alliance is all gathered here because we are gathered in protest to that
decision. Now you may not LIKE the Alliance...you may not respect the
Alliance, but what all of you have to do is, you have to respect what is
right, and what is right is giving Stone Cold Steve Austin a rematch for
the World Wrestling Federation Championship. I just so happen to have
information...you see, Stone Cold Steve Austin has a return clause in his
contract, and it states that if Stone Cold Steve Austin, if somehow Stone
Cold was to ever lose the WWF Championship, then Stone Cold Steve Austin
would automatically, AU-TO-MATICALLY be granted a rematch for the WWF
Championship. Now I know most all of you here never finished high
school...let alone law school. And we certainly all don't need a law
degree to figure this one out. But what I'm saying is, Commissioner
Regal, I'm asking you to come down here so we can straighten all this mess
out, because who wants to be in the courts going through all this
contractual mumbo jumbo when Regal, when you come out here, you can come
out here and do the right thing and grant Stone Cold Steve Austin his
rematch for the WWF Championship THIS Monday night on RAW! So
Commissioner, if you please, please come on out here. .... We're not
leaving, Commissioner, until you come out here, the Alliance will stay in
this ring in protest the entire evening if we have to!" After a
respectable pause, COMMISSIONER REGAL does come out, paper in hand.
"Shane McMahon...I have in my hand the contract from Stone Cold Steve
Austin...and although it grieves me to say this, everything that you said
this evening is quite correct. Stone Cold Steve Austin DOES have a
rematch clause in his contract, and so the only proper thing for me to do
would be to grant that rematch. But, there's one sssslight, just slight
little problem. On July the 22d, 2001, Stone Cold Steve Austin left the
WWF...and joined your miserable little band of misfits. Now, when he left
the WWF, his WWF contract, with all its stipulations, all its clauses,
became null (rips up contract) and void. Now listen to me you wretched
little toerag, because I will only say this once. You have NOTHING. No
rematch, no contract, no clauses, and as far as this little protest of
yours goes, if you don't remove yourselves right now I can either have the
authorities do it, or I can go to the WWF locker room and have the WWF
superstars do it for me." "Okay, okay, hold on a second, Regal. No
reason - no reason to be brash. Umm....I got an idea for ya. Got a
proposition for you, got a proposition for Kurt Angle. How 'bout tonight,
Commissioner, tonight In This Very Ring, Kurt Angle in a - in a nontitle
match, NOT for the World Wrestling Federation championship, face one
member of the Alliance, one member of our choosing. AND, and, if that
member of the Alliance defeats Kurt Angle, or should I say WHEN that
member of the Alliance defeats Kurt Angle...then you will grant Stone Cold
Steve Austin his rematch for the WWF Championship next Monday on RAW!"
"Are you quite mad, man? What kind of a proposition is that? I think
you've taken too many hits to the head, sunshine." "I wasn't finished.
Let me sweeten the pot just a little bit. If Kurt Angle was somehow to
defeat whichever member of the Alliance that it is, then this Monday night
on RAW, Kurt Angle...will face the WCW Champion the Rock! And again,
knowing the competitor that Kurt Angle is, Kurt Angle would then have the
opportunity to make history. Kurt Angle would then be able to be not only
the World Wrestling Federation champion, but also the WCW Champion - the
champion of champions! Now Commissioner Regal, all you have to do, all
Kurt Angle has to do is accept this stipulation, and let's get this done
right here tonight, and you will grant Austin his rematch on Monday!"
"To be quite honest with you, Shane, that sounds rather intriguing, but it
doesn't matter what I think, it's what Kurt Angle thinks is what matters.
So why don't you take your merry little men back to the locker room and I
will go and talk to Kurt right away." "But, but you see Kurt Angle has
nothing to lose, nothing at all. The WWF Championship is NOT on the line
tonight - nothing to lose and everything to gain. You go deliver THAT
message to Kurt Angle, Mr. Regal, thank you." But he won't have to - KURT
ANGLE is out. "Shane...buddy!" "USA!" "Shane...buddy! [Did he HAVE to
start over? It sounds so...*scripted* when he does that...] Gosh, I had
fun kickin' your butt last Monday night! By the way, how's the ankle?
Look, I want you to do me a favour - I want you to call your pal Stone
Cold Steve Austin, and tell him congratulations...he's STILL a horse's
(beep)! And as far as your proposition - a chance to become WWF and WCW
champion...I accept. Oh it's true...it's damn true! It's BLOODY damn
true!" Then, the ghost of Graham Chapman appeared and said "but it's not
a PROPER punchline!" but everybody ignored him.
WWF Home Video ad
Wehehell it's the WWF Smack of the Night, presented by Clearasil! It's
for zits! From RAW, Albert punks out Edge from behind, leading to a
guaranteed six man tag on SmackDown! - wait, that's tonight!
CHRISTIAN (with your hosts are LARRY KING & PAUL E. HEYMAN - Cole & Tazz
will be back next week) and X-PAC & YAAAAAAAAAALBERT v. A.P.A.
and KING EDGE (with Rob Zombie's CD cover - available 13 November) - X-Pac
starts with Faarooq - 'Pac with a martial arts demonstration; Faarooq opts
for a simple right hand. Simple...yet effective! Right, forearm in the
back, into the corner, backbreaker out, 1, 2, kickout. X-Pac into the
ropes gaain, ducks the clothesline and hits the spin kick. Pound, pound,
elbow, into the ropes is revrsed, Faarooq manages a powerslam for 2. Tag
to Bradshaw - into the ropes, double shoulderblock, off the ropes with a
elbowdrop is Bradshaw, 2. Forearm to the mush, neckbreaker, 1, 2, no.
Bradshaw off the ropes - Christian from behind, turning him around and
causing a long enough distraction for X-Pac to forearm the back - into the
ropes is reversed, NO DON'T TRY THE CROSSBODY - that only means a fallaway
slam is to come, but at least Bradshaw gets to give Christian a big boot
before executing...just to break it up a bit. Albert in and HE doesn't
feel like letting Bradshaw work on him - scissors kick finds the mark.
Albert drags Bradshaw back to his corner and stomps away...I didn't see a
tag but maybe I wasn't paying attention - I'm pretty sure referee "Blind"
Jimmy Korderas wasn't. Anyway, Christian and X-Pac are outside. Big
headbutt. Right, right, X-Pac getting some shots in as well. X-Pac:
"YEAAAAAAAH" Albert out to have a word with Korderas - Christian with a
blatant choke and X-Pac continues popping Bradshaw. Albert hoists him up
- WOW, big half hour suplex. 1, 2, no! Bradshaw sent into the ropes -
yaaaah clothesline. Free shots for Faarooq and Edge to shift the ref's
attention - but when he moves back, Bradshaw ducks the clothesline and
manages an ugly death suplex. Both men are down - Edge wants the tag - I
bet he gets it! HOT TAG! X-Pac in without a tag (or he remembered he was
legal all along, who can say) - Edge ducks, clothesline, clothesline,
right for Albert, right, ducks a spin kick from X-Pac and hits the
Edge-o-matic. Beating on X-Pac in the corner - Albert coming up from
behind but Edge heard the YAAAAAAAAH and stepped aside just in time for
X-Pac to take the big avalanche. Edge with an elbow, elbow, Faarooq in to
give X-Pac a spinebuster, *Christian* in and when Edge turns to meet him,
he decides he'd really rather be outside, pronto. Albert takes advantage,
pressing Edge...but Edge lands on his feet! Off the ropes, ducks a
clothesline and spearing Christian! Albert grabs Edge again...but
Bradshaw is back in - off the ropes, big boot to Albert, kicking Christian
out of the ring...meanwhile, Faarooq has X-Pac on the outside, and now
Bradshaw has Christian...back in the ring, gutshot by Edge on Albert,
Buzzkiller (Ross: "Edge's version of the DDT") - 1, 2, 3! (4:07)
In the Alliance locker room, Shane says looks for volunteers...and
everyone wants to take on Angle for Austin. Shane decides that this will
be handled democratically - and passes out secret ballots...
You MAY be interested to know that "Best of RAW Volume 1" is this month's
WWF Fanatic Series presentation!
Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2 - preferred by crime syndicate members
worldwide
You're watching SmackDown! on UPN!
It's time now for the Subway Slam of the Week and are we gonna come out of
EVERY ad break with another moment presented by another sponsor? From
last week's SmackDown!, Hurricane makes off with Molly
Earlier Tonight, Hurricane and Molly made their entrance on the
Hurricycle. "This blasted hurritraffic has left us little time to
strategize. Quick, we must--" Jonathan Coachman interrupts at this point
to attempt to ask Molly why she left her boyfriend Spike Dudley "to be
a...uh...what are you?" "Holy trick questions, Citizen Coachman! Molly
Holly didn't LEAVE Spike Dudley...I mean, Spike was a...nice little man,
but let's face it: life with him was going nowhere. I mean, he doesn't
have superpowers, he can't fly...he doesn't even have his own cape!"
"Wassupwitdat?" "The Hurricane has shown me my true calling - a higher
purpose in life - to help the Hurricane fight for truth and justice. As
of this day, Molly Holly no longer exists...for I am...Mighty Molly,
faithful sidekick of...the Hurricane!" And off she goes. "It took a
while to expurge Spike Dudley from her system...but now her Mollycules are
pure. Quick, to the Hurricave!" WHOOOOOSH
WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW & SPIKE DUDLEY v. HURACAN & AWESOME MIKE AWESOME
(with Mighty Molly) - Ross says that Spike decided to compete in this
match rather than go out for a night on the town with the Show - that
means that either the writers decided what they had in mind was gonna
REALLY suck, or that it was gonna cost too much for a coupla midcarders,
or actually they never had anything in mind and couldn't come up with some
skits on short notice, or (and this is the most likely possibility) some
other reason entirely. Lightweights start - Hurricane hits the pose,
Spike looks outside, sad to see Molly smile at the thumbs up from the
superhero - Hurricane with a hurrineckbreaker on the distracted Dudley.
Hurriright hand, pose, vertical hurrisuplex, pose, pose, off the
hurriropes, hurrilegdrop, hurriscoop...and a hurrislam...and yet another
pose. Off the ropes, Awesome tags himself in. At least HE'S tired of the
posing - Hurricane isn't exactly pleased about things - Awesome bowls him
over on his way to a shouldertackle to Dudley. Overhand forearm. Head to
the buckle. "I hate you, Spike! You hear that? I hate you!" Hmm, I
wonder what Awesome's motivation is. Into the corner, forearm to the
back. He hates him! Into the ropes, press...and drop. Stun gun. Ross
suggests Awesome is getting himself a chunk to make up for the upset loss
at the hands of Spike on Heat. Gasp! Hurricane tags himself back in -
Awesome tags HIMSELF back in - back to stomping. Elbowdrop. 1, 2, Spike
kicks out. Scoop...and a slam. More badmouth...and now he's going up.
Top rope splash - MISSES! (Well, his feet might have clipped Spike, but
pretend you didn't see it.) WELL IT'S A BIG HOT TAG! Well it's a big
clothesline, well it's a big clothesline, into the ropes, well it's a big
boot - Hurricane in to try his chokeslam - Show pounds him away, into the
corner, bealed out. Awesome shoved away. Molly off the top - Show
catches her and sets her onto the apron - then waggles his finger at her
(ha!) Hurricane gets another big boot - but Awesome hits a shouldertackle
off the top and Show falls into his corner...where Spike decides to tag
himself in, and run right into a powerslam from Awesome - 1, 2, no.
Hurricane wants Show again - Show reaches down from the apron and grabs
him in a choke, pulling him all the way back up - Awesome with a forearm
in the back, again, off the ropes - Awesome in the choke - Hurricane going
up top - Show shoves Awesome into the ropes, taking Hurricane off the top,
crotch flip (wow!) and out - Awesome back into the choke
ahhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM. Dudley on the top rope - Dudley on Show's
shoulders - ten story splash!! 1, 2, 3!! (4:10) Hurricane and Molly
make their escape, leaving Awesome laying. Give that a replay! Maybe NOW
they'll have that big night on the town....naaah
Has everybody voted? One more slip of paper from Tommy Dreamer (hey
Tommy, thanks for coming out tonight!) and the tally is collected. Now to
tally it! Booker: "I'm gonna do you proud, man. I'm gonna do you proud!"
It's the WWF Live! Tix go on sale Saturday for Cleveland, Portland (ME),
Boston for RAW, and Greensboro for Survivor Series!
If we're coming out of an ad break, it must be time for the Stacker 2 Burn
of the Week! From RAW, Tazz punks out Maven.
Here's an exterior shot of the Mobile Civic Center - and a fountain
Hey! "SNAKE" STABLER (legendary Oakland Raider) is in the front row!
Here's a Special Video Look at Maven - or, as I like to call him.....well,
Maven. Counting the number of times Snow says "charisma" in this piece
reminds me that K-Kwik has been released. Wow, I love these long
stretches where I don't have to actually relate any happenings 'cause
nothing's happening
Maven warms up backstage! He'll wrestle LATER!
Kurt Angle finds Rock and lets him know that he plans on winning tonight
and going for his title Monday...and is he cool with that? "Is the Rock
cool with that." "Yeah." Rock picks up his belt (hey, there's a "THE
ROCK" nameplate on it! Is that new or did I just not notice until now?)
and puts it on his shoulder. "Kurt Angle against the Rock for the WCW
title? Oh the Rock is cool with that. Hell of a match! Homerun!
But...it's not a grand slam. And every time the Rock steps up to the
plate...he's swingin' for a grand slam!" "What are you saying,
Rock?" "The Rock is saying this: instead of making this the biggest match
in the history of RAW, instead of making this the biggest match in the
history of the WWF, you and the Rock, we make this the biggest match
ever...ever. How so? For the first time...the WCW title on the
line...the WWF title on the line. HISTORY will be made - first
time...ever. Are you cool with that?" "You know what, Rock - I've been
known to hit a few grand slams. I say you and I...we make history." "So
there's only one thing left for tonight. The only thing you gotta do is
whoop some Alliance (beep)." They shake hands. "Oh, I plan on it,
Rock. I'll see you Monday."
Meanwhile, Shane announces that it was a landslide victory. Booker looks
at his hand....as Shane announces that it'll be Rob van Dam. Booker isn't
too happy - Bubba Ray Dudley (who honestly seemed to think it'd be him for
some reason) finally accepts the decision and shakes van Dam's hand.
Everybody chants "RVD" except Test (who is egging on Booker) and Booker
(who doesn't look to need too much more egging on).
Excess ad - Debra is Saturday's guest!
Wow! I'm watching UPN!
Commentators shill the UPN Tuesday night lineup: Buffy and Roswell
POINTS TO SELF v. KURT
ANGLE (with SAP transmitido en espanol) in the most important nontitle
match on the face of the earth, the most important match in the history of
mankind, and the most important match I have recapped in this paragraph -
Angle takes all four corners while van Dam gives a "can you believe the
size of this guy's EGO?" face. Earl Hebner is the third man in the ring.
Ross wonders aloud how Austin might feel about it being van Dam
determining the course of his future. HERE WE GO: Lockup, van Dam grabs
the waistlock, standing switch, takeover by van Dam, Angle to the
headscissors. van Dam headstand kickout, trying to grab a headlock but
Angle squirts free - van Dam flips away - but runs into an armdrag by
Angle - Angle ducks a heel kick, van Dam ducks a clothesline - impasse.
They let the crowd cheer a bit. We star again - collar and elbow,
fireman's carry takeover by Angle but van Dam lands on his feet - leg
sweep but Angle jumps over it - Angle grabs a single leg - van Dam tries
an enzuigiri; THAT is ducked - Angle to the waistlock, van Dam counters
with a body scissors rollup - 1, Angle flips back - 1, 2, van Dam rolls
out but Angle holds the waistlock...German suplex! 1, 2, van Dam kicks
out and rolls outside. "USA!" After shaking loose the cobwebs, van Dam's
back in. Just before going back to the lockup, it's van Dam with a kick -
right, right, kick, Ross explains the stipulations for the MILLIONTH TIME
SHUT UP, into the ropes, reversed, belly-to-belly overhead suplex by
Angle! Right, right, into the ropes, van Dam ducks, Angle hits a
clothesline, then tosses him out by the singlet. Angle follows him out -
head to the commentary table! ANGLE POINTS TO HIMSELF! Head to the table
again - and again. Angle in - Angle out. Right hand, whip into the STEEL
steps is reversed...and Angle hits hard. van Dam stomps, stomp, back
in...and back out. Angle fires back - right, right, kick,
suplex...blocked, and van Dam gives Angle a front suplex onto the
commentary table! Kick to the head by van Dam - he's heading onto the
apron - point to self - spinning guillotine! Hebner makes a strange
signal here, crossing his arms in an "X"...everybody back in - van Dam
covers - 1, 2, no. HOLY CRAP Angle's chin is bleeding like a stuck pig.
van Dam kick, kick, kick - looking for the cut every time. Angle manages
to switch positions, however - right, right, right, right, into the
opposite corner, but van dam gets the elbow up - second rope and ANOTHER
kick to the jaw. Off the ropes, rolling thunder MISSES - Angle grabs the
ankle! But van Dam kicks him away before he can grab the anklelock. van
Dam with a big clothesline. Stomp. Knee in the back, choke on the bottom
rope. Hebner to 4, van Dam relents. Yikes, lookit all the BLUD. Stomp
by van Dam, stomp, standing on the neck. "USA" chant. Right, Angle chops
back, chop, chop, chop, right, right, right, into the opposite corner,
reversal, shoulder in the gut but by van Dam, shoulder, backflip,
shoulder. Spinning guillotine to the back of the head - leg is hooked -
1, 2, NO! van Dam stomps the head. Right hand. Snapmares him over - to
the headlock. Angle tries to reach back and doesn't find anything to
grab. Crowd comes alive - Angle comes back to his feet - elbow, elbow,
right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, Angle ducks the
clothesline - Angle with a belly-to-back overhead throw! van Dam tries to
reverse a whip - but Angle pulls him back into a belly-to-belly!
Gutshot, DDT!! DOWN COME THE STRAPS! Angle is ready - waiting for van
Dam to get up - OLYMPIC SLAM NOOO VAN DAM LANDS ON HIS FEET - and ANOTHER
heel kick connects with Angle's chin. van Dam sess him opportunity -
vaults to the top - Fivestar frog splash - MISSES!! Angle up and under
him - OLYMPIC SLAM!! Cover, leg is hooked - 1 - 2 - NICK PATRICK pulls
Hebner out of the ring. Well, SHEEEEIT. Right handputs Hebner down.
And now MIKE CHIODA is out and the chase is on - man, this feud is WHITE
HOT, folks. Out through the crowd to the back - meanwhile, Angle watches
all this until van Dam is ready to get back up - another heel kick - but
Angle catches it, and puts van Dam in the ANGLELOCK! VAN DAM TAPS!!!
Oh, but there's still no referees, this means that SHANO can come out and
leave his feet on the chairshot - because Shane CAN'T do a move without
leaving his feet, you see - SHEEEEIT 2. van Dam finds Angle laid out, and
dutifully hooks a leg - Hebner is back in - 1, 2, 3. Angle kicks
out...but the bell has already sounded. (8:59) Here's a replay of van
Dam tapping with much vigor...and Shane with his "I must leave my feet"
flying chairshot. Jesus Christ. Wow, Angle is bleeding something fierce
here. Angle leaves the ring to go after Shane - too late again. TEAM
W/ECW empties their lockerroom to hoist van Dam on their shoulders. van
Dam DOES manage to point to himself. Hmm, I wonder if Austin will
actually show up on Monday....
Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2 - again
Torrie Wilson gets RAW! (Buy RAW Magazine)
Moments Ago, Shane sucks. Then - YES! - van Dam pointed to himself!
TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (with SmackDown! is brought to you by Whacko
Tobacco, "The Mummy Returns" - check out the wwf.com sweepstakes, and
Clearasil for zits!) v. WELL, MAVEN - Maven, who comes out to Saliva (get
it on the Tough Enough soundtrack) is decked out in sweat pants and
regular shoes - he hasn't had time to buy tights and boots yet, see.
Here we go - lockup, to the corner, Tazz with a forearm in the mush.
"Maven" chant. Tazz wants him to bring it - lockup, to the opposite
corner - Maven ducks the next forearm shot and lands one of his own.
Maven back to the centre asking him to come on. Lockup, side headlock by
Tazz, takeover, 1, Maven headscissors, everybody back up - Tazz with a
drop toehold, then stands over his back slapping the back of his head.
"Get up!" Maven gets up - Tazz slaps the taste out of his mouth. To the
corner, kick, kick, open-handed slap, slap, slap. Booker T takes on Kane
next! Tazz putting on the badmouth - Maven slaps HIM back! WOW WHAT A
DROPKICK! Second one wasn't as good, but still okay. Maven with a
sleeper...Tazz snapmares him over. T-bone Tazzplex. Got his neck on the
bottom rope - standing over him and unleashing the forearms across his
face. Into the ropes, reversal by Maven, Tazz ducks the clothesline -
TAZZMISSION. Good night. Total "Wrestling Challenge" squash - and
probably the right way to go. (2:00) We'll see what they decide to do
with Nidia. Tazz helps Maven up - will they shake hands? Tazz raises his
arm! Then he CLOTHESLINES the hell out of him! Tazz cracking up - me
too. Tazz tosses him through the ropes - play his music again!
Did you hear the break in his music? This is probably post-production
since they now need a bloody Kurt Angle to react to Jonathan Coachman.
He's a little (beeped) off at Shane McMahon right now, but he's looking
forward to Monday now. "I won an Olympic Gold Medal with a broken
freakin' neck! You think I'm worried about Austin? I *want* Austin!
And I want him Monday night! Because the way I'm feel right now, I want
to take Shane McMahon's precious leader, and beat him so badly that the
next time Austin takes a little 'vacation...' I'm gonna make sure that he
NEVER comes back again."
Yes! You ARE watching SmackDown! on UPN
"Please. Don't try this at home." PSA
TONIGHT: Stacy Wilson and Torrie Wilson in a bikini contest!
Can you imagine the skill and drama it takes for Torrie Wilson to deliver
these line? "Okay, Tajiri - is THIS bikini okay? Tajiri, I am SO looking
forward to this tonight! You do not even know." No.....you don't
KANE v. NAPPY T - Both men have something to prove. For Booker T, it's
that he didn't deserve the snub in the vote to determine Angle's opponent.
For Kane, it's that he can actually come out and wrestle a singles match
despite having fallen off the Atkins diet wagon. Lockup, to the corner,
Booker ducks the swing, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
referee "Blind" Teddy Long pulls him off. Into the opposite corner, Kane
grabs him coming out and switches it around - T in the corner, Kane right,
left, right, left, right. Into the opposite corner, clothesline as he
comes out. Scoop...and a slam. Kane runs the ropes, elbowdrop, off the
ropes, elbowdrop. Off the ropes, legdrop. 1, 2, T kicks out. Still to
come: RASSLIN' REFS!! Vertical suplex from Kane. Right hand. T tries to
pull Kane into a sidekick but Kane ducks - there's a clothesline. Kane
picks him back up - right hand. Kick in the gut, uppercut, into the
ropes, T ducks the big boot and hits a flying jalapeno off the ropes. T
with an elbow, elbow, elbow, right, right, right, into the opposite corner
is reversed, Kane picks him up ...sidewalk slam down. Kane going
up...flying clothesline - NO, T with the Harlem sidekick! 1, 2, Kane
lifts the shoulder. T on the attack: stomp, stomp, stomp. Subway Replay
of the kick. 1, 2, no. T asks Long to tell him he just didn't stop at
2. Still on the attack - right, right, gutshot, kick to the head, forearm
in the back. Regal will have a statement coming up. Blatant
choke. Trying to whip Kane but he hangs onto the rope - right hand, Kane
fires back with a punch of his own. T right, Kane right. Kane right,
right, into the ropes, head down, kick by T....Kane with a
clothesline. T's head hits the buckle. Right. Into the opposite corner,
follow clothesline. Into the ropes, big boot by Kane. Into the
corner...but T gets the shoulder up. But T walks into a powerslam. Kane
goes up top again...THIS time, the flying clothesline finds the
mark. Clothesline puts T outside - and Kane follows. This is breaking
down here - T's head hits the post. RUNIN RUNIN THIS IS A RUNIN -
Wotsitolla Boot connects out on the floor. Test rolls Kane back in - T
off the ropes, axe kick lands - 1, 2, 3. (5:51) Ross: "Well I'll be
damned." Test hits the ring and it's a doubleteam on Kane...until TAKER
comes out to save the day. Rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'... replay of
Test emerging from the crowd to uncork his boot.
Regal thoughtfully taps pen to paper. He'll be speaking...pretty soon!
Where is the WWF going to be, you ask? Why, on Saturday they'll be in
Bethlehem, Sunday it's St. Paul, Monday is RAW in Indy, and Moline hosts
live action Tuesday!
Want the first season of Tough Enough on video or DVD? Why didn't you
tape it for free when it was airing, you knucklehead? NOW you gotta pony
up the dough and call this number!
Yikes - Page is breathing so we all can hear him again! "Have you done
your YOGA today? I'll be you're feeing pretty damn good about yourself.
I know I'M feeling pretty damn good about myself. Because helping you is
a positive thing. Take my friend Tony, for example. The other day his
cat got ran over by a car - but wait - that's not a bad thing; that's a
good thing. You see, his wife was allergic to the cat, and that cat's
death actually saved their marriage. When I explained to my friend Tony
the positive side of the sitution, he immediately understood that that cat
being dead was a good thing. So look at the positive side of every
situation, and you'll see, just like me, that DDP, I like me, you like me,
and I'm going to help you like you." Ross: "The hell you say." Me: "Is
'Tony' Schiavone?"
LILIAN GARCIA stands with the Dudley Boyz and Nick Patrick - Monday, Rock
defeated both of them, so what hope do they have when they team
with...Nick Patrick? Patrick takes umbrage. "What, do you got a problem
with that?" Bubba Ray calls Lilian a waste of oxygen, then says that
superbombing Angle through a table was the greatest thing ever...except
for maybe rambling into a long advertisement for RAW and Steve Austin's
return. D-Von attempts to bring it back to them by promising that Rock
and Jericho will find themselves on the wrong end of a Dudleyville ass
kicking. Patrick promises that Chioda will find out he made the biggest
mistake of his life when he put his hands on the head WCW official, and
that "putting him down is gonna be as easy as counting...1, 2, 3." "Oh my
brother, testify."
Now we cut to Regal. "It is my duty as the WWF Commissioner to indeed
sanction a match this Monday night on RAW that will pit Stone Cold Steve
Austin against Kurt Angle for the WWF Championship. It is also my duty to
inform ANY member of the Alliance, any owner of the Alliance, or anybody
remotely associated with the Alliance, that they will not be allowed at
ringside; in fact, they are all barred from ringside. We will find out
Monday night on RAW who the better man is - in fact, we will find out
exactly who the WWF Champion will be." So Paul Heyman is barred from
ringside?
Stacy Keibler wears a robe - and she is WALKING!
Hey look, they've already prepared a RAW ad hyping Austin and
Angle. HMMMMMMM
JONATHAN COACHMAN is in the ring to MC the bikini contest. Here's TORRIE
SAMUDA. Here's STACY KEIBLER. Coachman reminds them that since they
requested this matchup, they should keep it peaceful and professional.
They play Sunny's music as they strip - is it just me, or did they
deliberately find a nonflattering bikini for Stacy in order to make sure
Torrie'd win? Not that there was gonna be a problem - the girl with the
bigger tits ALWAYS wins, right? Anyway, the crowd is louder for Torrie -
go figure - and Coachman declares her the winner - so Stacy forearms her
in the back, then chokes her out with the robe - ROBEMARE! A second
snapmare with the robe. "Ladies, ladies, ladies!" Stacy slaps Coach
silly - probably ruining his equilibrium for six weeks (or until it stops
being funny to write into the plotlines). TAJIRI is out to save Torrie -
but Stacy's already gone. Play her music!
UP NEXT: That big six man match! Or, more accurately...that big four man
and two ref match
"Kurt Angle: It's True! It's True!" ad
Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2 again - again - what an awful ad this
is. I'm so tired of seeing it. YOU'RE tired of READING about
it. Right? We agree!
You're watching WWF SmackDown! on UPN! Man, they need to take out the
shots where Edge & Christian are buddies....don't they?
The graphic don't lie (or does it?) - Stone Cold takes on Kurt Angle for
the WWF Championship this Monday on RAW! Heyman: "This ain't no hype -
it's the biggest RAW in history!" Hmmm.
DUDLEY BOYZ & NICK PATRICK (with Subway presents No Mercy on the 21st!) v.
MIKE CHIODA (no music) and CHRIS
THURSDAY JERICHO and THE
ROCK - hey, did you know Nick Patrick is the son of the Masked
Assassin? (Yeah, I told you that actually.) I'm sure I could explain how
exactly this match came about, but......let's face it, when I'm this late
I only get about 20% of my normal hits anyway, so why overexert my brain?
Still, I WILL evoke some nostalgia by reminding long-time WWF viewers that
back about ten years ago, Chioda was pro wrestling's KING FROSTED MULLET
and man *those* were they days, weren't they? Hey, go back and check the
tapes if you don't believe me. Jericho and D-Von tie it up - Dudley with
a side headlock. Jericho to the ropes, powering out, shoulderblock by
Dudley. Up and over, Jericho leapfrog, Jericho flying jalapeno! Knee,
knee, knee, forearm, chop, chop, chop, into the ropes is reversed and
D-Von puts Jericho over the ropes - but he lands on the apron, so he
climbs to the top and comes down with a super elbow that staggers Dudley -
over to the Rock for a right, Jericho right, *Chioda* right (!), Jericho
with an enzuigiri, cover - 1, 2, no. Tag to Rock for the open shot,
right, right, into the ropes, belly-to-belly throw, leg is hooked, 2.
D-Von to the eyes to turn it around - tag to Bubba Ray for the open shot.
Right, open-handed slap, Rock blocks and switches positions - right,
right, right, whip is reversed, but Rock pops out with a clothesline.
Free shot for D-Von. Bubba Ray's head to the buckle, tag to Jericho.
Forearm, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp.
Chop. Chop. Into the opposite corner is reversed, Jericho hits sternum
first - Dudley with a forearm in the back. Looking for the suplex but
Jericho lands on his feet - Jericho with a death suplex - leg is hooked -
1, 2, Patrick breaks it up...which brings in Chioda...the chase is on!
Patrick in - Chioda doesn't catch him, but Patrick ends up at the feet of
Jericho, so HE grabs him - Walls of Jericho! but Bubba Ray clocks him i
nthe back of the head to break it up. Scoop...and a slam. D-Von adds a
headbutt to the graun. "Who's the man?" Testify dance. Cover - 1, 2,
no. You know, I don't think D-Von ever tagged in...oh well. Right.
Right, right, right, right, right, right. (I think I got 'em all.)
Crowd chanting "Rock E" - or maybe "Chioda," it's hard to tell. Jericho
taken to the corner - tag to Bubba Ray and Patrick instinctively claps his
hands to acknowledge it. Bubba Ray twists Jericho into a neckbreaker.
"C'mon, Jericho! Get up!" Another big neckbreaker by Bubba Ray Dudley -
leg is hooked - 1, 2, Jericho gets the shoulder up. Overhand right, "you
wanna piece of him, Nick?" Right hand again. Tag to Patrick! This
lifelong blood feud CONTINUES!! Patrick stomp, stomp, kick, kick, Jericho
turns Patrick's way so he runs back to his corner and tags out. Hey, you
know what this match REALLY needs? RIGHT! Teddy Long coming out and
tying one of Jericho's hands behind his back! AND Scott Dickenson holding
a dress! D-Von back in with a right hand, snapmare, headlock. Jericho
tries to fight back to his feet - "Y2J" chant helps - elbow, elbow, chop,
chop, into the ropes, reversal, but Jericho hits a rollup for 2. Jericho
walks into a wicked powerslam by D-Von - HE gets 2. Patrick: "That was
3." Tag to Bubba Ray. Into the ropes, ten story double flapjack. Bubba
Ray going to the second rope - NOOOOO THAT NEVER WORKS DON'T DO IT - sure
enough, Jericho pops up and punches him in mid-pose - Frankensteiner!
(Oh so THAT'S why he climbed up there - very nice.) While both men are
down, Patrick decides to circle the ring and yank Chioda off the apron,
popping him with a right hand. Rock halfheartedly makes a move towards
Patrick - but it's not like he's gonna SAVE A REF or nothin'. Patrick
runs back to his corner just in case. D-Von pulls Jericho away from Rock
- he's getting too close to that tag. Bubba Ray shoves Rock off the apron
to boot. Bubba Ray with a snapmare for Jericho...wow, it's a reverse
headlock but also a seated abdominal stretch! Go ON, big Bubba! Jericho
staves that off, so Dudley drops an elbow on him. Another quick
elbowdrop. Double sledge to the heart - 1, 2, NO! Right hand. Bubba Ray
goes to the second rope again NOOOOOOO THAT SENTON NEVER LANDS DON'T ohh
he tried it. And he missed. Again. Both men are down - referee "Blind"
Tim White puts on the count...at five, D-Von gets the tag. HOT TAG TO THE
ROCK!! Rock right, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed,
Rock with a flying clothesline. Bubba Ray comes back in - HE gets a
block, right, right, whip is reversed, gutshot, DDT, nips up, spinebuster
for D-Von, block Bubba Ray, right, right, right, right, NOW KISS THAT
RIGHT and Bubba Ray sails outside. Jericho with a springboard forearm
that takes D-Von off the apron to the floor. Rock looks to the
corner...and sees one man left. Patrick makes a great face. Rock brings
him in the hard way...Patrick rolls outside and decides to take a hike.
But as soon as he hits the ramp, EARL HEBNER runs out and delivers him
back to the Rock. Patrick tries in vain to point to the patch on his
shirt - no dice. Chioda is itchin' for a tag - AND GETS IT! (Umm,
Patrick never tagged in - is this LUCHA rules or WHAT?) Chioda with a
SPEAR! Right, right, right, right, right, right, rips off the shirt
(NO!!), kick, kick, stomp, stomp, tosses the shirt on him....you know, I
don't think White is working too hard to keep Chioda from all this
cheating! Bubba Ray in with a big-time clothesline on Bubba Ray - Jericho
in with a bulldog on HIM - Rock adds a spinebuster - Rock laying in wait -
Patrick up - ROCK BOTTOM!! Jericho with a Lionsault! They call over
Chioda, who crawls with all his might...but before he covers, Rock catches
his arm and helps him up. Rock giving directions....oh no. Ladies and
gentlemen, as Chioda kicks Patrick's arms to his sides, runs the ropes,
runs the ropes, and - yes - delivers the second-most electrifying move in
sports entertainment today - the Zebra's Elbow. Psst, Nick Patrick isn't
the legal man - 1, 2, 3. Oh well. (10:36) Hey, you know what this was?
This was like a house show dark match main event....except this time, it
happened to be the SmackDown! main event. W-E-I-R-D.
One more look at the RAW graphic. You think they're pinning a lot of
hopes and dreams on this main event? Heck, I STILL don't think Austin's
gonna show!