I GET LETTERS: CRZ,
Love the recaps, color me a first time, long time (as they say in talk
radio).
I appreciate the transcriptions because between teaching on Monday nights
and a wife who doesn't like wrestling (but who does like football) I miss
RAW more than I can watch it. In spite of your pathetic pandering (a cry
for help?), I figured that the least I could do to show my appreciation for
your efforts was to send you a present. Even better, an EARLY present,
maybe even your FIRST Christmas present of the year.
Here it is: a brand new, only used once ņ of your very own.
I know you could use one because you always mention that the WWF is
'transmitido en espanol (donde sea disponible)' but really mean that the
WWF is transmitido en espaņol. I realize that's not a big deal (and only
an obsessive-compulsive Spanish-as-a-second-language speaker such as myself
would notice), but your ņ also may come in handy this holiday season.
Because, unless you're sending New Year greetings to Cher, you'll want to
wish any Spanish speaking friends (such as Tinieblas) 'un buen y feliz
nuevo aņo' and not 'un buen y feliz nuevo ano' (which means something
altogether different).
If I see the mystical ņ that makes ALL the ladies swoon in the next recap,
then I'll know that I chose the perfect gift; in short, an awesome gift
that is Undertaker AWESOME.
A fan,
Ed Skelton
P.S. Your undying gratitude is acknowledged.
Well, then there's nothing more for me to say!
From Mark Steven Holland: will history repeat itself?
Try this comparison of current WWF top guys with their lookalike and
actalike former top competitors. And we know what happened to the WCW of
old...
vince mcmahon / vince russo- ego toting, camera hogging, no idea what the
fans want anymore who's name is vince
stone cold/goldberg- big time bald champ, turning heel to shock,
developing massive screen and story time much the chagrin of fans
rock / booker t- fan favorite who's entertainment is well liked on screen
but can't seem to hold a title for longer than a week or two
kane / sid vicious- tall, muscle freak, who shows up every show or two
just to give some annoying heel a chokeslam or powerbomb with no real
purpose or direction
undertaker/kevin nash- tall, pleather wearing, no seller, backstage
political leader who we just want to retire
kurt angle / ric flair- heel, face, heel, face, heel , face, whooooooo.
ddp / wcw ddp- only guy i know who can go from main eventing champ one
week to being house show chump the next
christian / wcw lance storm- heel with cheap heat, let's try him with
every title and see what sticks with the fans
rob van dam / wcw billy kidman- he's got the moves, the look, and the
charisma... now let's give him the push for real, not shove it in the fans
faces (rvd- ppv main eventing to barely on tv / kidman- angle with hogan)
but then take it away two seconds later.
mick foley / terry funk- we love them and their history so why is it so
hard to find a good role for them other than foley- the book shiller and
funk the nasty old hardcore champion
chris jericho / sting- pissed off heel.. but where's it going?
big show / lex lugar- please go home. please.
albert / the wall- and the pink slip got lost where?
x-pac / buff bagwell- unmotivated and refuse to job
eddie guerrero / scott hall- um... got a light?
the hurricane / wcw "sugar" shane helms- so are we pushing him or not
stacy keibler / ms. hancock- why are you so hot?
So the only real main eventers / upper midcarders i didn't touch were
Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett. Listening ,Vince??
When looking at the entire WWF main event force and upper midcarders, i
wonder if history will repeat itself... And where is WCW today?
Just my two cents...
Wait....but I LIKE Big Show!
KINGS UPDATE: 6-2, 1.5 GB the Lakers, who I hate. I saw my first Kings
game as TBS showed the Raptors/Kings game - and as much as I used to be
annoyed by John Thompson, Kevin Harlan has taken the crown away with his
UNBELIEVABLE hardon for Vince Carter. "OHHHH MY WHAT AN INCREEEEDIBLE
PLAAAAAAY BY MY BOYFRIEND VIIIIINCE CARRRRRTER!" Kevin - DUDE, the
Raptors are still DOWN BY TWELVE POINTS despite that semi-incredible
individual effort - now how 'bout sperading some love Sacto's way? The
big showdown with the Lakers is MONDAY and MAYBE we can finally hand them
a loss (but without Webber, probably not - don't let people fool you, it's
not like the Kings will get WORSE when Webber's back...)
TV-PG-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Closed Captioned opening credits are Beautiful, People!
PYRO AWAY - Coming to you on tape from the Pepsi Arena in Albany, NY and
SAP transmitido en espanol 15.11.1 (taped 13.11) and only three days away
from the night that will change it all...or not... SMACKDOWN!
TONIGHT: Angle & Austin team to take on Rock & Jericho! But first...
POINTS TO SELF v. KANE in a nontitle match - I'm gonna go out on a limb and
say van Dam pins him. Call me crazy, I know. To his credit, van Dam DOES
cower away from the corner flames - as if he'd NEVER seen that before!
We're off: lockup, Kane shoves him down. Overhand right, stomp. Right.
Into the opposite corner, gutshot, scooped up...press - reps - but van Dam
lands on his feet - and hits a dropkick. van Dam right, right, right,
right, Kane switches positions in the corner - van Dam ducks - right, head
to the gut, superfluous backflip - and Kane decides to clothesline him for
wasting all that time. That gets a replay. Uppercut by Kane. Head to the
buckle. "RVD" chant. Into the opposite corner - Kane with a delayed
backbreaker. Kick to the small of the back - stomp - stomp - Kane puts a
boot on the back and all his weight on that boot - referee "Blind" Teddy
Long tries to get it out of the ropes but doesn't have much luck. Right to
the back - knee in the back - hey, I think he's working the back. Into the
ropes, head down, kick by van Dam - right, right, right, off the ropes -
caught in a bearhug - and back into the turnbuckle. van Dam DOES sneak in
a kick as Kane comes in - to the top rope - somersault cannonball gets 2.
Right, right, right, off the ropes, Viscera kick puts him down. Off the
ropes - Rolling Thunder gets 2. Kik, right, right, into the opposite
corner, somersault...caught...Kane with snake eyes. Kane with a big-time
lariat. Into the ropes, big boot. Kane outside...going up for the flying
clothesline - but van Dam sprints over and puts him down with an overhead
kick. van Dam up top...but Kane is up with a zombie situp - and an
uppercut crotches van Dam! Kane's going after him on that corner - could
it be? - yes! SUPERPLEX!! Tazz points out that this is how Taker handled
Booker T just before van Dam pinned him on Monday. Both men up together -
Kane with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," into the ropes, van Dam
ducks, van Dam's kick is caught - swung up on the shoulder but van Dam
lands on his feet - ANOTHER kick ducked - Kane with the choke...and here's
NAPPY T to save him - Kane lets go, walks over and chokes HIM but T hot
shots him - meanwhile, van Dam, having occupied Long's attention, climbs up
top and lands a kick - 1, 2, 3. Peh. (5:13) AWESOME UNDERTAKER WHO IS
AWESOME is out - but T's already hightailed it. Let's play "Rollin'"
anyway!
Commentators shill "Iron Chef USA: Showdown in Las Vegas" - I feel less
alive now
Test plays with his Xbox (CONTINUITY RULES!) - and ignores the knock at the
door. Finally, he says "come in." It's Stacy - is he ready for the
six-man match? He was born ready. Stacy says he always thought he was WAY
hotter than Edge. After she leaves, Edge admires his reflection and says
"Please. Like there was ever any dote." Hey, remember when he and Steph
were....wait, no.
Meanwhile, WOW! Rock is in the locker room! HEY! Now so is Jericho!
"Well, Rock. You know I just wanted to come in here and talk to you a
little bit before our match with Austin and Angle tonight. You know, I
heard something kinda funny - remember last Monday night on RAW when Angle
and Austin were beatin' ya up in the middle of the ring, and I came down to
save you, remember that? You know what's kinda funny is that people
actually thought that I was gonna come down to the ring and bash your
brains in with a steel chair again. They thought just because you called
me those names, what was it that you called me, a Canadian moose hunting,
Twisted Sister wannabe, punk(beep)....." "(beep)" "Yeah, that's the one.
They thought that just because you called me all those TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE
NAMES that I wasn't gonna come down to the ring and rescue you. And
believe me, Rock, I did come and rescue you. So I just wanted to assure
you, The Rock, and assure all of the millions - AND MILLIONZUH of the
Rock's fans! that Y2J is a team player. Y2J is the man who was watchin'
your back last Monday night on RAW. Y2J is the man who's gonna watch your
back tonight against Angle and Austin - the man who's gonna watch your back
this Sunday at Survivor Series, and most importantly of all, Y2J is the man
who's gonna lead the WWF to Survival on Sunday." "Ahem. Knock knock."
"Excuse me?" Rock knocks the air. "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The
Rock." "The Rock Who?" "The Rock, who's gonna lead the WWF into Survivor
Series this Sunday. The Rock, who's gonna make sure YOU have a job after
this Sunday. The Rock, who is gonna whup YOUR candy(beep). But until
then, you and the Rock...same page, same team. You cool with that?" "Am I
cool with that? Of course I'm cool with it. I'm cool enough to know that
after Survivor Series, I'm gonna beat the hell out of you, Rock, and I'm
gonna regain my championship. But I'm gonna wait until *after* Survivor
Series. Are you cool with THAT, The Rock?" "Cooler than the other side of
the pillow." They shake hands...but Jericho doesn't let go as Rock tries
to leave. Instead...he does the brother shake, the handshake, the thumb
wrestling, and a whole bunch of other hand moves. Rock pulls his hands
back. "What in the blue hell is wrong with you." "What are you talking
about, that's my cool handshake." "Cool handshake." "Yeah, I'm down."
"Chris Jericho's down!" "Down with the clown!" "You down with the Rock,
huh?" "Yes, I am cool! I am the BREEZE." "You gotta like that." "Oh, I
gotta like that. I'm like the Fonz." "The Rock feels ya. He feels ya.
Cool. All right." "Okay." Handshake - and Rock pulls HIM back - then
does the "shooting the duck" handshake - pausing for a drink of water
before holstering his gun. "That's cool." He leaves. "That's not cool!"
And now, the WWF Super Smash of the Week, brought to you by Crash
Bandicoot: the Wrath of Cortex! From RAW, Kurt Angle drops the US title
thanks to some SINISTER PYRO
KING EDGE (with Rob Zombie CD cover) and HARDY BOYZ (with Cheata - abd
SmackDown! is brought to you by Xbox, truth, and Crash Bandicoot: the Wrath
of Gore-tex) v. DUDLEY BOYZ (with Stacy Dudley) and TEST TEST THIS IS A
TEST - This just in: the winners of the undisputed titles will keep their
jobs no matter what happens in the Winner Take All - that could be
interesting, but probably won't. Bubba Ray starts with Edge - at least, I
think so...the FOG ROLLS IN. Lockup, jockeying, jostling, side headlock by
Dudley...I bet Edge powers out and there's a shoulderlock! Gasp! Off the
ropes, Dudley up and over, hiptoss blocked, other hiptoss blocked, flippy
flippy by Edge, half nelson legsweep. Tag to Matt - into the ropes, double
back body drop - D-Von comes in and gets two right hands. Edge with a free
shot for Test - Jeff in - there's the triple suplex on the Dudleyz - Matt
covers Bubba Ray and gets 2. Bubba Ray right back with a knee - forearm in
the back - tag to Test. Right by Test, right, into the ropes, Hardy ducks,
right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed and D-Von puts a forearm in
the back...and Test lands a clothesline. Right, right, right, right,
right. Head to the turnbuckle, right, back elbow, right, back elbow, kick,
kick, standing on the neck - referee "Blind" Mike Chioda pulls him off.
Tag to D-Von. Right hand from the open shot. Into the ropes, jumpin' back
elbow. Right, right is blocked, Hardy right, right, Dudley with a knee -
wants the powerbomb but Hardy escapes and hits a Russian legsweep. Matt
makes a leap of faith and makes it to his corner for a tag to Jeff -
clothesline, clothesline, off the ropes, ducks a clothesline from Test and
hits a flying jalapeno - double leg for D-Von, speaking in tongues double
legdrop. Off the ropes - oops, too close to Bubba Ray, and he grabs a
handful of blue hair, pulls him out, and runs him into the commentary
table. Rolled back in for D-Von - cover - 1, 2, no. "We want tables"
chant. Right by D-Von - right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right. Tag to Bubba Ray - open shot. Measured neckbreaker - 1, 2,
no. Hardy put into the ropes, BIG back body drop. Cheapshot on Edge
ensures Chioda will be distracted long enough to miss the "headbutt to the
graun" spot. D-Von stays in - but tags out to Test right away. Stomp.
Into the opposite corner, clothesline follows. Back to the first corner,
another clothesline. Tag to Bubba Ray as Hardy collapses. Bigelow-style
headbutt. Right hand. To the second rope - DON'T DO IT THE SENTON NEVER
WORKS ohhhh he tried it and it didn't work. Sigh. Lita leads the rhythmic
clapping - will Jeff make the tag? Tag to D-Von - HOT TAG to Edge!
Clothesline! Clothesline! Into the ropes, backdrop! Test in - Edge
ducks, right hand. Free shot for Bubba Ray on the apron - hot shot on
Test, clothesline for D-Von, Viscera on Test - ducks a swing from D-Von,
Edge-omatic gets 2 but Bubba Ray breaks it up - whip into the corner is
reversed, Edge down on all fours - Jeff with Poetry in Motion off HIS back
- Test in - Edge ducks and puts HIM in the corner - Matt down for Edge to
hit a springboard splash! Jeff clotheslines him out...but the pescado
MISSES! And now Stacy is up on the apron...Edge manages to step aside the
oncoming D-Von - he pulls up short of colliding with her...but that's
enough to get Edge set up for the spear - 1, 2, 3. Hey, I think both men
were legal! (7:15) Test is quick to deliver the Wotsitolla Boot to Edge.
Now *Lita* is in, shoving Stacy off the apron...and into Matt's arms! Matt
quickly realises what he's done and drops her, but it's too late to
alleviate suspicion - worse, Lita is left alone in the ring to take a
Dudley Death Drop while Stacy grabs Matt's ankle to make sure he can't save
her. "See you in the cage!" How will Stacy and Lita get in the cage,
anyway? Here's your replay - Stacy seemed to enjoy it until taking the
hard shot landing on her bottom. Matt covers Lita in the ring - guess Edge
and Jeff are taking care of each other, heh heh heh, if you catch my drift.
Survivor Series promo
Jakks Pacific RealSounds Arena ad - wow, get me an Earl Hebner figure! Woot!
MOMENTS AGO! Well, at least THIS time the replay actually shows a bit of
the MATCH! But not much
Backstage, a tender moment between a man...and his woman. "I'm sorry -
baby, I'm so sorry. Everything that's happened, everything that's been
going on recently, the last few weeks, everything's been my fault, I'm
sorry, I apologise so much. You know I would never do anything to hurt you
baby, here, come on, sit up, sit up. Look, I just wanna tell you...what
happened tonight with the Dudleyz...it will never happen again, it will
NEVER happen again. From now on, I'm gonna make sure the Dudleyz never
hurt you baby, all right?" Big ol' sloppy MOUTH KISS. They hug...and the
camera pans around to see Matt...rolling his eyes? GOLLY I HOPE LITA
DOESN'T WATCH THIS TAPE!! Also - pencil it in: Lita's falling off the cage
Sunday.
WELL IT'S THE BIG DDP v. DR. TEETH - that's Big Show coming out to Page's
music, wearing one of Kanyon's old wigs and a POSITIVELY PAGE plus size
jacket - and some fake choppers. "It's me - it's me - it's DDP." Cole
does a big fake laugh in case you weren't sure if this was funny or not.
"I like me. You like me. I'm gonna help you like you. You see, when the
Big Show DESTROYS the Alliance at Survivor Series, that's not gonna be a
BAD thing - me losing my job, it's a good thing! Because then, all of you
won't have to listen to my annoying voice, or have to look at my big,
bright, bogus, fake white teeth, or my plastic smile. And I won't be able
to tell you what to do." Bring on Page - keep smiling! Wow, it's like
LOOKIN' IN A MIRRAH - nah. Page pops him with a surprise left - right,
right, Show shoves him down. Clothesline misses, Diamond Cutter attempt
shoved off, well it's a big clothesline. Jacket off, teeth out,
ahhhhhhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM - 1, 2, 3. (No opening bell - we'll start
from the jab and call it 0:29) SHANO is in - there's the "I LEFT MY
FEET!!!!!!!" chairshot. Play "Brand New Money" as Shane hops the barricade
and runs off. Show holds his head and positively quivers with anger.
Back in Stephanie's office, Stephanie is watching old videos. In comes
Heyman. "You had to see it - did you see what your brother did to the Big
Show? It was phenomenal! ...didn't you watch it?" Steph reveals that
she's watching the night she was revealed as the ECW Owner...and check out
the look on Daddy's face as she saunters by. "Stop. Do you wanna see a
look on your father's face? Wait 'til you see the look on your father's
face when he realises that someone is out in 'his ring' calling him out."
"And who would that someone be?" "That someone would be....me! And the
time to do it is right about......now. I'll show you a look on your
father's face! 'Did you look at my Daddy's face?' I'll show you a look on
your father's face that you ain't never seen before! I'll tell him ALL
about the things I've always wanted to tell 'im - I'll show you a look on
your father's face that you'll never forget! Her father's face..." "GO
GET 'EM PAUL!" You know, I have a FUNNY FEELING that "now" actually means
"after another ad break"
Here's a Special Video Look at the Undertaker you may have seen on Monday
"Theme Extreme" leads out PAUL E. HEYMAN (with the SAP transmitido en
espanol & TV-PG-DLV boxes) to the ring. Well, let's see if it was worth
the hype. "In just a few moments, at my leisure, I'm gonna call Vince
McMahon out to his ring, in front of his public on a television show that's
owned by his grand company. At least, that is, until this Sunday at
Survivor Series." "You suck" chant competes with "asshole" chant. Tazz:
"Must be a lotta ex-ECW employees!" "I know how much you people appreciate
when Shane and Stephanie and I have done - how Shane and Stephanie and I
have stood up to the tyranny of Vince McMahon (edit) and the way it is,
ladies and gentlemen, is quite simple - the WWF will DIE this Sunday. But
don't blame ME for that - it's not MY fault. I'm not the one that RUINED
everything that was accomplished by Stone Cold Steve Austin. You see, at
Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities that are
involved. It's about ending with Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I
sat there at that desk on Monday, and I listened to Mick Foley. And I
agreed with everything that Mick Foley had to say - that the WWF truly does
SUCK! Don't boo me. Have you watched the television show lately? Vince
McMahon has lost his MIND. The man doesn't have it any more! He's a has
been, his ideas are antiquated, his concepts are draconian, and Mick Foley
was right, because the WWF is imploding from within! Like every great
empire, the WWF is imploding from within. Vince's loyal employees, like
Stone Cold, left him; like Mick Foley, want nothing to do with him.
Vince's own children want him to burn in hell, and I don't blame 'em.
Vince McMahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor Series. And he
has no hope to save his precious company! Vince McMahon has the same
chances of saving the WWF as he did of realising his dream of starting a
football league..." Well sure enough, invoking the spirit of the XFL will
*always* bring out BILLIONAIRE VINCE - Heyman falls to his knees and
salaams away. NOW will it get good? Vince encourages him to continue. "I
want you to know that I was down on my knees, 'cause I know that you're
used to men *puckers* kissin' your ass, Vinny. Every time you walk in the
back there, there's Patterson and Brisco, oh what a great idea you had,
Vince! (mwah mwah mwah mwah), (mwah mwah mwah mwah). You LIKE men kissing
your ass, don't you , Vince, huh? 'cause that's what you're all about - a
BILLIONAIRE - the BILLIONAIRE VINCE McMAHON, the creator of sports
entertainment! I've waited so long to see you face to face like this. And
I've waited so long to tell you to your face that I hate your stinkin'
guts. But it's not just me. It's your children that hate your stinkin'
guts, Vince. And at Survivor Series, your children are gonna do to you
what I have waited my whole life to see somebody do to you, Vince. You
are, so help me God, the most disgusting, vile son of a (beep) I've ever
seen in my life. You took Hulk Hogan's blood and you built Titan Towers.
You STOLE Bret Hart's dream, and with that money bought yourself an
airplane with WWF all over it. And you KNOW it, you son of a (beep). You
stole Shawn Michaels' smile, took your company public, and made yourself a
billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire, like you like to tell
everybody you are, oh no. See, you're a billionaire on other people's hard
work. Your father - your FATHER, Vince McMahon, your father went around
the country and shook the hand of every-- you know I'm tellin' the truth,
don't you. You know in your heart I'm telling the truth that your father
shook the hand of every promoter in this country and swore to them that
he'd never compete against them...that his son would never compete against
them. And when your father DIED...you competed. And with your ruthless,
merciless, take no prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business,
didn't you, Vince. You ran all the competition to the ground and you stole
all their ideas, and you made yourself a billionaire out of it. And you
know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince? You stole MONE. See I don't
give a damn about Don Owen and Sam Muchnick and Jim Crockett, I....I care
about what you did to me and my family. How you stole MY dreams, how you
stole MY legacy, how you stole everything that ECW represents.
Because...while Doink the Clown had a - a green hair and rubber nose, Stone
Cold Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While
Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around singing Tutti Frutti,
ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named "Attitude." Oh, we got
Attitude! You got nothing, man. What you got is my ideas, and you stole
MY LIFE - MY MONEY - MY LEGACY!" Paul removes his hat (!) and throws it at
Vince. "SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU and your family! I'll tell you something,
your own CHILDREN hate your guts, and on Sunday, your children are gonna
get even with you, for everything you stole from me, for everything you
stole from them. You flaunt your affairs in front of your WIFE - you
flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read! You (beep)!
Look at Tazz! Look at Tazz! This man was a KILLER - he was a machine! He
was a wrestler - a great wrestler, a real man...but wrestling's a dirty
word to you, isn't it Vince? Your father built a wrestling company, and
you - you hadda have 'sports entertainment.' 'We had to have sports
entertainment, ha ha ha.' He was a wrestler, he was a great wrestler, he
was a man, and now he's a fat, little, obnoxious colour commentator, and
not even a good one! He is a 'sports entertainer.' He is not a
*wrestler*, 'cause you made wrestling a dirty word. You made 'wrestling' a
dirty word, Vince. What kind of a man are you? What kind of a man takes -
takes wrestling and makes it sports entertainment? At Survivor Series,
you're goin' down, Vince. I promise you, you're goin' down, and I'm gonna
watch it, and your children are gonna lift their leg, standin' over your
grave, and we're gonna laugh, and you know what else I'm gonna do, Vince?
I'm gonna run your (beep) outta business. And there's not a damn thing you
can do about it. I'm feeling GOOD about myself! AGHHHHHHHHH" Oh, I
forgot to tell you that Tazz left the broadcast position, snuck up behind
Heyman and is now applying the Tazzmission - but you may have already left
us by now. Vince has the mic - now comes the punchline. (Unless you
consider Heyman tapping the punchline.) "Paul Heyman...you are the epitome
of the Alliance because, this Sunday at Survivor Series, the Alliance will
CHOKE." Oh man, why not a "YER FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRED?"
I gotta tellya, I was kinda hoping that "shoot" meant "acknowledges that
Shane and Stephanie don't really own WCW and ECW" but I guess that's what
hearing about it ahead of time'll getcha. It doesn't take much to excite
some people, I suppose. Me, I would have been happier with another Steve
Blackman/Crash hardcore match. That MAY be why I'm sitting behind a
computer writing ABOUT it.
The Xbox Slam of the Week is from RAW! Rob van Dam leaps off the
EntertainmentTron but it's not enough - it takes help from Booker T to keep
the Taker down for 3, which is not to say van Dam deserves to pin Taker
without help, 'cause he doesn't....I'll move on
This half of the show is brought to you exclusively by Xbox!
Your hosts are NOW a pair of kings - LARRY KING replaces Tazz alongside
MICHAEL KING COLE. Prepare to experience fifty minutes of shillin',
chillin'
NAPPY T v. AWESOME UNDERTAKER WHO IS AWESOME - Taker goes THROUGH THE
FLAMES to put a forearm in the back - soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, block,
soupbone - T finally fights back - knee, elbow, elbow, into the barricade -
Taker with a back elbow, head to the STEEL steps - has Ross told us yet
what "Bubba Red" means? Over the barricade into the crowd - Taker with a
soupbone, left, soupbone, left soupboe, left, soupbone, left..."it's my
damn yard" - soupbone puts him back over the barricade. Head to the
commentary table. "You comin' to take somebody's job?" Soupbone. "You
in the wrong damn place!" Uppercut. Head to the STEEL steps again.
FINALLY we're in the ring and there's the opening bell - and T manages a
forearm in the back to turn it back his way. Right, elbow, left, right,
left, right, elbow, into the opposite corner...but Taker gets up the bit
boot. Soupbone puts him down. Head to the buckle - left soupbone left
soupbone left soupbone left, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone,
soupbone, soupbone...chasing off referee "Blind" Tim White and going
outside. "We're sending a message tonight!" Chair in the ring - White
grabs it and Taker ain't happy 'bout that. Taker finally piefaces White
and grabs the chair - and White calls for the bell. BOOKER T BEATS THE
UNDERTAKER!! (DQ 1:07) T has the chair as Taker delivers a soupbone to
White - AGAIN Taker uses the big boot to stop T. "Get up!" Choke -
chokeslam!! Play his music! Taker goes outside, grabs the top of the
commentary table and points to the WWF logo. "WWF forever, FOREVER,
FOREVER!"
Courtesy: Weakest Link Productions, Inc. and BBC - here's the entire hour
distilled down to just over two minutes - I like to save the Triple H jokes
for more desperate recappers
Ivory's pretty excited! "Shut up you silly cow!" Regal promises a new
women's champion at Survivor Series - three WWF and three Alliance in a
six-pack challenge - Lita, Trish and Jackie - and Ivory, Mighty Molly...and
a surprise guest. Regal shoos Ivory away to get ready for their mixed tag
with Tajiri & Torrie. "Bloody crackers. (knock) What d'ya want now, you
silly tart?" But it ain't Ivory. "Gregory Helms - mild-mannered reporter
for the Daily Globe." Regal remarks on his suit and suggests a tailor.
Helms has one quick question - can he confirm the existence of an immunity
battle royal at Survivor Series? Regal confirms it - he and Foley cooked
up a 20-man over the top rope battle royal, the winner of which receives a
year free of being fired. "Hmm....to win that you'd almost have to be a,
uh, superhero." Regal excuses himself to prepare for his match. "You look
like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards, scruffy swine." "A
superhero...and I know just the man (removes glasses) for the job
(whooooosh)."
WWF Shop Zone Dot Com Ad - powered by ESCALATE
Catch the WWF LIVE! Saturday in Bristol, Sunday the Survivor Series is in
Greensboro, Monday is RAW in Charlotte, and Tuesday is Fayetteville!
The Arena of a new Generation! But why focus on a KeyBank logo instead?
Time now for a moment with Austin and Angle. "And I'm still a little
(beep) about last Monday night." "You should be." "Nobody gives me the
Rock Bottom in the middle of my ring. Do you understand me, Kurt? Kurt?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I understand you." "Look at me! Thank you. What, you can't
look at me? You're too good for me?" "No, no I can look at you." You got
a gold medal, now you don't wanna look at me? Now you're with me tonight
or you're against me. It's a tag match - Kurt Angle, Stone Cold Steve
Austin against Y2J and the Rock. I need you to look in my eyes and say
'Steve, I am with you, I'm not gonna stab you in the back.'" "I AM with
you - I've BEEN with you ever since I joined the Alliance. I'm not goin'
anywhere! I'm ready for tonight, and I'm ready for this Sunday at Survivor
Series." "Well, I don't know if I trust you. You say you're with me, you
used to hug me all the time, you used to just jump...if the wind changes
direction, you change!" "Hold on - talkin' about changin', hold on a
second! I've seen you change a couple times first - and by the way, I
don't know if I can trust you - Vince McMahon said that YOU'RE the one
that's jumpin', not me!" "I ain't jumpin' nowhere!" "Oh really?" "Huh?
No, I ain't jumpin', why I got reason to jump. I don't need to be a big
star. You tryin' to get famous? Is that what you're trying to do. You
know what my watch is sayin'? My watch is sayin' maybe it's time for Kurt
Angle to use this as a springboard to another platform." "Hold on a second
- I don't NEED a springboard, I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, see?" "You
realise how important Survivor Series is?" "Yeah. Yeah, I do." "Do you
realise what this is all about?" "Yeah!" "Do you realise how big this
is?" "I know how big it is - if we don't win at Survivor Series, I'm out
of a job and YOU, Stone Cold Steve Austin, YOU'RE out of a job." "And you
can handle the Rock and Y2J tonight?" "Oh, I'm ready for 'em tonight.
They think they're so cool. The Rock and Jericho think they're so cool.
Chris Jericho thinks he's so cool, but you know what, he's not red, white
and blue, Olympic Gold cool. He's...Canadian Cool. Eh? So I am ready for
tonight. I'm ready to kick their butts." "And you ain't gonna jump at
Survivor?" "How many times I have to tell you? I'm not--" "Promise?"
"Promise?" "Yeah." "Pinky swear! What?" "Can you swear?" "Yeah, pinkie
swear. I won't go back on that, pinkie swear, I promise!" "You know what
kinda swear I'ma..." Austin settles for a knowing look instead of the
middle finger...and they take off.
Meanwhile, Regal catches up to Torrie Wilson. "Ah, Ms. Wilson. I just
thought I'd come and tell you that although you and Tajiri are going to get
a sound beating at the hands of me and Ivory in moments to come, and that
Tajiri is going to get the thrashing of a lifetime at Survivor
Series...being an English gentlemen, I'd just like to wish you both the
very best of luck." "You know, I used to think you were an English
gentleman, but then I realised you are just a pompous ass." "How charming.
Well, after Survivor Series, not only will Tajiri be out of work, he'll be
incapable of working after the bloody thrashing I'm going to give him! But
you, on the other hand....yes, you...if you're seeking employment, I'm sure
there's always a...position that I can find for you. Bye bye!" Hey, I'm
as surprised as YOU are that Torrie seemed to catch that subtlety!
Look! It's WWF New York! You can watch Survivor Series there on sunday!
TAJIRI & TORRIE SAMUDA v. COMMISSIONER REGAL & IVORY in squeaky clean
intergender action - bad guys rush the good guys, Tajiri tossed, Torrie
throttled. Choke on the second rope until referee "Blind" Chad Patton is
back in to stop it. Wow, Ivory's top didn't last long - whip, reversal,
kick by Ivory, YEAH THE TOP'S OFF WOOOOOO - Blowout gets 2. BRA BRA BRA -
hairpull snapmare by Ivory, there's another one, kick in the back. THEY'RE
CALLED BOOBS, ED standing on the neck arm pull - off the ropes, legdrop -
1, 2, no! Man I thought that move ALWAYS worked. Irish whip into the
corner, boot up by Wilson - clothesline, scoop...and a slam. Leg is hooked
- 1, 2, no. Into the ropes is reversed, Torrie ducks the clothesline and
hits the Crappiest Handspring Elbow in the World. With every move, Ivory
clutches her bosom to make sure they don't fly out of her bra. Finally,
Regal gets the tag - so does Tajiri. Kick caught, Tajiri's kick lands.
Into the ropes is reversed, Slightly Less Crappy Handpsring Elbow gets 2.
Into the corner, reversed, kick up by Tajiri - Regal runs in - Tajiri up
and hooking the Tarantula...for 4. Ivory in - GREEN MIST - but Regal
strikes from behind - hung up on the top rope...and bringing Torrie in the
hard way. Regal grabs her hair...talks some trash...double underhook into
a HOLY CRAP Torrie almost lost her head until remembering to tuck for the
powerbomb. REGAL STRETCH ON TORRIE! LOOKIT HER STREEEEEEETCH anyway,
Patton's decided Regal's spent too much time on the illegal man - err,
woman, and calls for the bell (DQ 3:08) They play Regal's MIDI one more
time. Sadly, we get no more long, loving looks at Ivory's cleavage in this
segment.
Survivor Series spot
Hey, want to buy that Puddle of Mudd "Control" song which happens to be the
theme from Survivor Series? Here's what the "Come Clean" CD looks like!
Commentators thank us for all our support...just in case this is the last
time we ever see 'em. See, it's little things like THAT that make you
wonder - not over-the-top "shoot" speeches.
The graphic don't lie - Winner Take All at Survivor Series!
Let Us Take You Back - Vince suggests a Winner Take All match at Survivor
Series - Shane accepts - Kurt Angle turns - Chris Jericho and Rock have
trouble getting along - Vince announces Steve Austin's imminent defection -
Austin and Angle have trouble getting along - Undertaker rallies the troops
- now you hit the music - I'll hit the FUHFUHWID - say, is it just me, or
are there clips from earlier in the night in this piece? You know, it just
isn't a WWF special video look if it doesn't have that succession of five
or ten clips of people making an "ahhhhh" face in a row.
VINCE - IS - WALKING! "Excuse me, Vince - Vince? May I have a moment of
your time, please?" "Howard [Finkel]...make it quick." "All right. I
just want to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, I feel very
confident that this Sunday at Survivor Series our company, the WWF, is
going to prevail. However, in the event, if we are not successful this
Sunday and we're all out of a job this Monday, I just want to tell you, for
over twenty years, with you and this company, it has been one hell of a
ride, thank you so very much for everything, Vince." Tears and hugs.
"You've been with me for over twenty years." "Yes." "And since that time,
Howard, when you began, I see your pants are too short now, you can't even
button up your vest, you've lost all your hair...and now you're saying in
the event that the World Wrestling Federation won't be successful. Howard,
the World Wrestling Federation WILL be successful this Sunday at Survivor
Series - but keep one thing in mind. Don't EVER touch me again." Howard
makes the "I'm so STOOPID" face.
Austin and Angle are WALKING! Austin tries to get Angle to hold his vest -
Angle gives it back to him.
CHRIS THU
RSDAY JERICHO (with Xbox presents Survivor Series!) and THE
ROCK v. KURT ANGLE and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN - Angle goes ahead and
lets Austin rush Rock on his own...and we're underway! Rock right, Austin
right, Rock, Austin, Rock, Austin, Rock, Austin, Rock, Rock, Rock, Austin
with a knee. Austin right, right, right, chop, chop, right, right, right,
"Rock E" chant, right, into the ropes, head down, Rock with a swinging
neckbreaker! Clothesline! Rock wants Rock Bottom now but Austni elbows
out - KICK WHAM shoved off - Rock with a back elbow. Stomp. Chop. Chop.
Chop. Chop. Into the ropes is reversed, Rock ducks, but Austin hits the
Austin press as he comes off the ropes, nine quick rights, off the ropes
with the Fuck You elbow - 1, 2, Rock kicks out. Austin runs the knee brace
across Rock's face. Another knee in the face. Elbow to the back of the
head. Rock comes right back - right, right, right, into the ropes, Angle
makes a blind tag, Rock with a clothesline on Austin...then runs over to
Angle and brings him in the hard way - Samoan Drop! Angle STILL had the
medals on...well, 'til now. Held open for the tag - open chop by Jericho,
chop, chop, chop, into the ropes is reversed, Angle tries the
belly-to-belly but Jericho elbows out - Jericho ducks the right and hits
the flying jalapeno! Elbow, chop, Angle rakes the face to turn it around.
Right hand by Angle, right, into the opposite corner, but Jericho gets the
boot up - second rope - missile dropkick! 1, 2, Angle kicks out. Right by
Jericho, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, and Angle buries the
knee in the gut. Tag to Austin - Angle right, right, Austin chop, right,
knee, elbow to the back of the neck, head to the buckle, opening him up for
the chop, what?, chop, what?, chop, open-handed slap - Jericho fires back,
Austin right, Jerichop chop, chop, Austin to the eyes. Jericho into the
ropes, ducks, ducks, crossbody by Jericho for 2. Chop, chop, into the
ropes, reversal, Austin pushes Jericho over the top - but he lands on the
apron! Running to the top - off the top with a tomahawk that lands!
Dueling suplex attempts - Jericho shoves him to Rock for a right,
pinballing to Jericho, back to Rock, Jericho with a clothesline - 1, 2,
Angle breaks it up. Austin back to the eyes again - knee in the back. Tag
to Angle. Held open for the kick. Right by Angle, right, into the ropes,
head down, Jericho kicks - chop, chop, into the corner, off the ropes but
Angle ducks the clothesline - Angle wants the Olympic Slam but Jericho
laces the leg - into a legtrip - going for the Walls! but Austin runs the
apron - Jericho ducks the clothesline, springboard dropkick CONNECTS and
Austin fals to the floor! But Angle is free - and he's got time - Jericho
takes a German suplex. Angle takes charge. Head to the buckle, right,
right, right, right, right, right,n stomp, stomp, referee "Blind" Earl
Hebner pulls him off. Front face, tag, Austi with an open shot to the
ribs. Chop, chop, right, knee, right, into the ropes, head down, Jerich
with a kick...but Austin catches him off the ropes and hits the
spinebuster. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, JUST gets out. 1, 2, Jericho kicks out
again. Angle wants the tag but Austin would rather choks him on the second
rope - no soone has Hebner pulled him off that Angle is grabbing him from
the floor - right hand. Jericho manages a small package for 2, but Austin
is right back on him with a lariat. Into the ropes - wants the Austin
press again but Jericho catches the legs and shoves him down - he wants the
Walls....but Angle is in with a forearm before he can get it. Rock wants
in but it ain't happening. Angle gets a tag - stomp, into the ropes,
big-time clothesline. 1, 2, Jericho rolls the shoulder. Angle grapevines
the leg and clamps on a headlock. Jericho fighting back to his
feet...elbow, elbow, European elbow, chop, into the ropes is reversed, but
Jericho counters the knee with a rollup...1, 2, no! Angle goes behind -
but Jericho rolls through, grabs the ankle - and puts on the anklelock!
Angle manages to roll out. Whip into the ropes reversed by Angle, but he
runs into the back elbow - Jericho to the second rope - wants the double
sledge but Angle catches him in a belly-to-belly - 1, 2, no! Front face,
tag to Austin - open kick to the ribs. Austin sits Jericho on top - chop,
open-handed slap, chop, slap, climbs to the second rope, pounds on the
back...but Jericho STILL has enough to shove him off! Missile dropkick -
FINDS THE MARK! Both men are down - will Jericho finally make the tag?
Rock is itchin'...Austin grabs an ankle...Jericho with an enzuigiri and
AGAIN they're both down! Austin again tries to grab the ankle - Jericho
reaches - Austin pulls him back. Death suplex - no, Jericho flips out -
and hits the Breakdown on Austin! Austin looks for a tag - problem is,
he's backing into the wrong corner - Rock with a big right hand! Austin
retreats to the correct corner - tag to Angle - HOT TAG TO ROCK! Block,
right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, duck, flying
clothesline! Gutshot, DDT! Austni back over - block, right, right, right,
right, right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT and Austin is down. Angle sent
over the top to the floor. Spinebuster - into the sharpshooter! Hey,
Austn's not legal - Hebner doesn't notice, oh well. Angle in to break it
up with a forearm - now Rock is in the ANGLELOCK! Jericho finally sucks it
up...and makes the save with a dropkick! Angle rolls outside and Jericho
goes out after him - head to the commentary table, right, whip...is
reversed - and Angle pulls him into a belly-to-belly. Meanwhile, Austin
has been stomping a mudhole into the Rock. Angle joins him in the ring -
stomp on the ankle, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Austin has a chair
in the ring. Angle stomps again - chair to the ankle - chair - chair -
Hebner gets the full shove out of the ring by Austin while Angle goes back
to stomping. Hebner's called for the bell (DQ 12:53) but they're not done
- Austin places Rock's ankle in between the back and the seat of the chair
- Angle holds him down as Austin climbs to the seccond rope - but AWESOME
UNDERTAKER WHO IS AWESOME is out to make the save!! He catches Austin off
the corner in a choke - CHOKESLAM!! NAPPY T is in - and Angle is spared a
chokeslam when T gives him a Harlem sidekick. HOLY CRAP ANGLE GOT HIM UP
IN THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!!! Jericho back in - clothesline for T - right by
Angle, right by Jericho, right, right, and clotheslining him out - bulldog
for T - and the Lionsault! Now ROB VAN DAM is out with a spinning heel
kick for Jericho - vaults to the top - FIVESTAR FROG SPLASH! KANE in -
choke for van Dam - CHOKESLAM!! Ah hell, here's SHANO with his "I left my
feet!" chairshot but now WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW punches the chair into
Shane's head. *Angle* back in - HE GAVE BIG SHOW THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!!!!!!
The straps are down - but Rock is behind him - ROCK BOTTOM! OHHHH KICK
WHAM STUNNER - that's the last one. The last man standing is Stone Cold
Steve Austin. BILLIONAIRE VINCE appears at the top of the ramp - Vince
smiles...and AUSTIN SMILES BACK! Ross: "My GOD what's gonna happen
Sunday?" Vince keeps smiling...and Austin stops. Credits are up and it's
a good sign if we've made it this far without anybody saying "Montreal" -
we'll see ya at the pay-per-view!