UPN - Thursday! TV-PG-DLV - Attitude - Entertainment - WW! Opening Credits are Beautiful, People! PYROMID! Coming atcher from the aforementioned in Memphis, TN and SAP transmitido en espanol 24.10.2 (taped 22.10) this is episode #167 of that show we like to call WWE SMACKDOWN! TONIGHT: The #1 contenders to the tag team championship will be decided when Edge & Rey Mysterio meet up with Los Dos Guerreros! TONIGHT: Brock Lesnar will make a face MATT HARDY (Cameron, North Carolina - 234 pounds - Mattitude is practices in over 100 countries) v. RIKISHI (American Samoa - 350 pounds - with Let Us Take You Back to Last Thursday)
referee: JIMMY KORDERAS
Hardy throws his spiffy new "v1" shirt RIGHT at Keesh - so he makes the "wipey-wipey" motion with it! This angers Hardy - and hey, who WOULDN'T be? Here we go - lockup, gobehind by Hardy, forearm in the back, forearm, forearm, right, right blocked, Keesh right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversal...DOESN'T happen - Hardy pulled into a short clothesline. Hardy to the apron - when Keesh tries to bring him back in, Hardy goes for the eyes - hot shot - Hardy going up top...there's a big flying clothesline! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no way. Hardy stays on him with rights (six). Choke with the top rope on the back of the neck. Hardy with a gutshot, right, Keesh fires back with a right. Hardy put into the ropes, head down, forearm to the back by Hardy...and a neckbreaker. "v1" hand signal to the crowd! Whoops, took too long - Keesh puts Hardy into the corner hard, Samoan Drop, KEESHKICK, pats his rump and *does* manage the fat ass splash. Hardy with the flump...and you can guess where we'll head next. Fortunately for Hardy, Korderas is spending too much time trying to warn Keesh and TOTALLY misses Hardy slipping in an uppernut before Keesh finishes the squash. Hardy tries for the Side Effect, but Keesh manages three back elbows to break it. Hardy ducks, gutshot, Twist of Fate...shoved away. Off the ropes, Keesh catches Hardy on his shoulder - HOLY CRAP IT'S THE KEESH DRIVER!!! 1, 2, 3! (3:22) Keesh loads the Driver, and Mattitude suddenly gets removed from the desktop. Oh oh he's got the hat - look out - FAT MAN DANCING ... but wait, walking down the ramp and hitting the ring is - is - WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW. Well it's the big clothesline and DOWN he goes. Goozled up - ahhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM. Man, Show makes Keesh look NORMAL. Sure, give him the mic - give him WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS. "My name is The Big Show." No, it isn't "I am seven foot tall - five hundred pounds. And I've been traded to SmackDown! And I'm here to make an impact. There's not one superstar in that locker room that can measure up to ME. There's not one man in this audience...that's HALF the man I am. I AM the biggest, baddest, man in the universe. And I'm here to PROVE it! I'm here to make a challenge. I'm here to challenge WWE Champion Brock Lesnar. But if I know Brock Lesnar, he's like every other coward on SmackDown! He won't have the GUTS to face ME." Welllllllll....you know we don't get enough people saying they're the biggest baddest man in the entire UNIVERSE, so I gotta give the thumbs up there. Stacker 2 ad (Bubba Ray Dudley) - say, isn't trying to sell ephedra-free Stacker 2 kinda like trying to sell a werewolf-free Lou Diamond Philips movie? (Okay, the Twilight Zone ad inspired me) Catch the WWE LIVE tomorrow in Topeka, Saturday in Wichita, Sunday in Toledo and Monday in Detroit! Well shut my mouth, they ACTUALLY included a little "PAID FOR BY RAW" blurb on all these graphics. IT'S ABOUT TIME MOMENTS AGO! Three paragraphs ago! Outside, Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman are WALKING! I hope they get fined for arriving late! Inside the ring is STEFFO, who really wants you to look at her boobs. "Well it's already been one HELL of a night on SmackDown! and we're just gettin' warmed up! Now I know I made the right decision when I made the trade for the Big Show because he's already been impressive. But speaking of impressive, check out this trophy right here in the middle of the ring. Because this trophy will be awarded to the first ever WWE tag team champions exclusively here for you...on SmackDown! So without further ado, allow me to introduce you to the first half of the WWE tag team champions, the ONLY Olympic Gold Medalist in WWE...KURT ANGLE!" Angle comes out, grabs the trophy and holds it high. "And his partner, the Rabid Wolverine, CHRIS BENOIT!" And here HE comes. Later tonight, we'll find out the #1 Contenders to the titles currently around their waists. Benoit tries to catch sight of the trophy, but Angle keeps holding it away from him. Angle with the stick: "Stephanie, I'd just like to say how right you were to force me to set aside my personal differences with Chris Benoit, so I could singlehandedly lead my team to victory at No Mercy! WOW! And you know, as captain of this team, it is my pleasure to accept this trophy. And I'd like to assure my partner that this trophy will be set aside at my Olympic memorabilia on my wall of fame at home. Oh, it's true - it's damn true! Woo!" Benoit takes the stick...and tries to take the trophy. "Angle, the next time you come out here, you leave that Olympic-sized ego o' yours back in the locker room, because out here, everybody knows there's only one captain, and that is ME. Let's get it straight - we wouldn't have won these titles if it wasn't for ME. And you're damn lucky Stephanie made that stipulation between us. If she hadn't, I'd'a kicked the HELL outta your Olympic ass." They tug on the trophy. "Listen here, Mr. Toothless Aggression! I WON the freakin' match, *I* did! Therefore, I'M the star...and you're the supporting player! The trophy's mine, all mine, give it to me!" "Take your damn hand off that tropy or you will EAT it." The struggle continues - Stephanie tries to come between them...and of course, ends up going down when the trophy breaks and flies backwards into her temple. Angle finally puts the trophy down to help up Stephanie. "See what you did? See what you did? Are you okay?" Stephanie seems dazed...but quickly recovers and slaps Angle one. Benoit gets some yuks out of this...until Stephanie slaps HIM as well. Benoit wastes no time freezing a glare on her. "You two are like petulent children. And if the two of you, look what you did to this trophy! If you two can't get along, then we're gonna settle this the old fashioned way - in the ring. Kurt! Tonight, it will be you, Kurt Angle, one on one against Chris Benoit. And the winner of that match will get to keep this stupid broken trophy. Now go get ready." Play her music! The City... The Arena... The Event! Saliva! "Always!" Coming November 17 - WWE Survivor Series - Madison Square Garden And now, the WWE Smack of the Night! Subway brings you fresh baked bread and Jared - from last week on SmackDown!, Noble and Nidia and Tajiri....ah, hell, I forget WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: JAMIE NOBLE (champion - Hanover, West Virginia - 200 pounds with Nidia - and Velocity hype: it's at 8/7 and a Torrie/Nidia bikini match is scheduled! v. TAJIRI (challenger - Japan - 206 pounds)
referee: MIKE SPARKS
Noble is dressed as Elvis, wearing a gold lame jacket, sunglasses and Eddie Munster hairpiece. But Halloween is NEXT week! Oh, because it's Memphis. Noble requests, and receives, the mic from ring announcer TONY CHIMEL. "Ladies and gentlemen, get ready - 'cause Jamie Noble gon' give you here people in Memphis the greatest Elvis impersonation you ever seen in your life!" Boo! Even Tazz makes the Eddie Munster reference! "Thankya, thankya very music! Hey Priscilla! Gimme one o' them there (I have no idea - neither does the close captioning guy) - matter of fact, make it two so you can have one for yourself!" We're spared a continuation by Tajiri's entrance - he hits the ring, ducks the swing, handspring elbow off the ropes and off comes the wig! Here we go - kick left right kick lrft right kick lefr right kick left kick left right left kick left right kick left misses kick kick kick scream...dons the glasses and does his Jimmy Yang impersonation (wait) - ready with a gutshot - and an elbow in the back - winds up for the kick. Want information on a WrestleMania travel package? Email wrestlemania.packages@wwecorp.com. Into the ropes is reversed, head down, Noble kicks. Wants the double underhook but Tajiri drops down...then reverses, hanging him in the Tree of Woe - stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp - screaming baseball slide dropkick! Tazz was on Ricki Lake? Stomp. Noble goes for the eyes to turn it around. Tajiri hard into the corner, up and over but Noble evades the Tarantula attempt. Kick to the head! Nidia pulls him off the apron - Tajiri tries for a big kick, but Nidia is out and Tajiri kicks the post instead. He comes up clutching his left leg. Back in the ring, Noble makes quick work of the targeted body part, kicking the back of the leg, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, elbowdrop, drives the knee into the mat, FINALLY removes the jacket and dares him to git up. Got the knee...but Tajiri goes down the back - 1, 2, no! Noble with a dropkick. Noble goes into a mock karate routine...Tajiri ducks the kick, tries one of his own but Noble blocks it...hurting his leg further. Noble taunts and Tajiri uses his GOOD leg to connect with a big kick in the head. Into the ropes, press...and drop. Not a backdrop...somebody changed their mind in mid-move and Noble went splat. Tajiri's still a one-legged man, though. Noble up first - stomp, stomp. Tajiri's dead weight again - can't get the double underhook, and goes for the forearm to the back instead. One more. Into the ropes, head down, kick by Tajiri, he collapses - now HE tries the double underhook, which brings Nidia up on the apron...he threatens to kick her, but before he can try, Noble is up from behind - Tajiri tries a reverse roundhouse but THAT is ducked...Noble stops short of running into his girlfriend, but Tajiri cracks the back of his head and Noble DOES run into Nidia, taking her off the apron to the floor! Tajiri with a rollup for 2 - kicked out off the ropes, Noble ducks the clothesline, grabs a waistlock and bridges back, ALSO grabs that all important leverage from Nidia, and gets the 1, 2, 3. Champ retains. (3:50) Your hosts are MICHAEL KING COLE & TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - Tazz is now wearing the Elvis "bush." This segues to an announcement of next week's "Halloween Party" in Grand Rapids. Remember the best Halloween costume ever? That's right - when Vince dressed up in prison stripes on RAW... TONIGHT: #1 Contender tag team match! TONIGHT: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit! Dawn Marie is looking for Torrie Wilson - BOOBS! I mean, WALKING! November 12 - "WWE Anthology" - this time they actually use someone still working for the company! (Brock Lesnar) Jakks Pacific WWE Metal Vengeance Arena and action figures ad UPN! Turn it up! And now, the Extreme Blast of the Night, rocked to you by JVC's Tower of Power! From last week, Torrie's nipples are pointed at her father...in the shower with Dawn Dawn Marie has FINALLY caught up with Torrie's nipples. "Torrie! I'm glad I caught you..." "I don't want to talk to you, Dawn." "Listen...this is really hard for me to say. So, um...I just want to let you know that I think that you're the better woman, and...you've proved that on Sunday at No Mercy. Mmmkay?" "Okay." "And...oh...I also want to tell you that I want to apologise for my behaviour to you and your family, because I really think that things may have just gone a little too far. But...I want you to realise that...I really do care about your father, and that I- I do know that there's a huge age difference between us. And I know that this is probably, you know, really hurt you, so...the next time I see Al, I'm ...I mean, your father, I'm going to break things off. Okay?" Pause. "Great." Off she goes...leaving Dawn Marie smiling... MOMENTS AGO! The unblinking eye of the WWE cameras caught an encounter between Los Guerreros and Kurt Angle. "WE don't have a problem with you." "No!" "But we know who does. ...we know who does, right?" "OH YEAH yeah yeah, vato, we know who does." "Tell me who it is there, *hombres.*" "You know, ese, the rumour...and it's a rumour...the rumour, ese, that Chris Benoit said...this is what he said... that he couldn't wait after the tag team tournament was over..." "He couldn't WAIT!" "No, ese, because he just wanted to do damage, it wasn't enough that he's already beat you!" "Do damage to me?" "To you!" "Yeah! He even - he even hurt your neck, didn't he?" "Yeah! He wanted to put you in the crossface and break your neck! Again!" "AGAIN!" "Oh, is that so?" "Can you BELIEVE it?" Rey Mysterio and Edge - are - WALKING! "WWE Divas Undressed" magazine ad - STROKE STROKE STROKE Booker T shills chicken 'n' ribs Tough Enough III is NEXT! People will spit on each other! #1 CONTENDERS TAG TEAM MATCH: EDGE (Toronto, Ontario - 241 pounds) v. REY MYSTERIO (San Diego, California - 175 pounds - with SmackDown! is brought to you by Paramount's "Jackass: The Movie," Stacker 2, and truth!) v. EDDIE & CHAVO GUERRERO (El Paso, Texas - 441 pounds - with Halloween Party hype)
referee: BRIAN HEBNER
We have Edge, we have Chavo, we got action! Lockup, side headlock by Edge, Chavo powers out, Edge shoulderblock (NO WAY), quick cover for 1, armdrag, holds the armbar, knee by Chavo, forearm in the back, whip is reversed, hiptoss by Edge, cover for 1. Edge stays on him with a right, right, shoulder to the gut, snapmare, 1, 2, no. Chavo with a knee, elbow, Euro uppercut, into the ropes, Edge off the ropes with a viscera, tag to Mysterio, into the corner, Mysterio whips Edge into Chavo, Mysterio with a free shot for Eddie, Edge whips Mysterio into a broncobuster on Chavo! Pulls him out, split-legged moonsault HITS THE KNEES! Right by Chavo, tag, right by Eddie, elbow, forearm in the back, into the ropes, ducks Chavo, body scissors on Eddie, into a flying headscissors on Chavo...Edge in with a flying headscissors of his own on Eddie. Guerreros outside - Mysterio tries a pescado but gets caught by both men - here comes Edge - slides UNDER the bridge...then the Guerreros use Mysterio's body to clothesline Edge! WHOA. Four men outside - Chavo puts Mysterio in, while Eddie throws Edge into the STEEL steps. Chavo to his corner, Eddie to Mysterio - into the ropes, big back elbow. Stomp, kick in the back, Xbox reply, right, right, right, left, right, right, right, to the corner, tag to Chavo - three shoulders in the back by Chavo, kick, kick, stomp, stomp, Hebner finally pulls him out of his corner...allowing Eddie to put on a tag rope choke behind his back. Chavo with a wicked short arm clothesline - 1, 2, NO! Tag to Eddie - Chavo holds him down for the rolling senton, but instead, Eddie comes in and stomps on Rey. "Eddie sucks!" chant. Free shot for Edge - another stomp for Mysterio. Grabs a pumphandle - into a backbreaker - nicely done. 1, 2, no. Eddie back to the stomp. Into the ropes, reversed, Mysterio with a BIG back body drop and both men are down! Eddie crawls to the wrong corner and Edge CLOCKS him - but Eddie manages to stay between them and kicks Mysterio in the ribs. Shoved into the ropes, big tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Eddie with the roll and the tag. Chavo stomp, kick, in one corner, out to the other sternum first - and caught. But Mysterio lands on his feet on the backflip out of the suplex attempt...and dropkicks Chavo into the corner! Mysterio makes the slow crawl...but Eddie decides to come in without a tag and head him off. Mysterio to his free foot - Eddie drops the other foot - Mysterio spins into a viscera, putting Eddie down! HEY HOT TAG!! Edge with a clothesline for Chavo, ducks Eddie's and gives him a dropkick, DOUBLE FLAPJACK, ducks Chavo's swing, Edge-omatic gets 2 when Eddie saves. Mysterio back up and on Eddie - the whip is reversed - Mysterio hooks the ropes and hangs on - Eddie runs at him and gets dumped onto the floor! Chavo in - HE get a drop toehold into the ropes...putting him in PERFECT position for the 619...BUT Eddie catches his legs in mid-move, then pulls him out to the floor! Edge ducks Chavo's clothesline - SPEAR! 1, 2, but Eddie saves!! Mysterio onto the apron, bouncing off the top rope and taking Eddie out with a split-legged body scissors (!) - Edge forearms Chavo into the ropes - THIS time 619 connects! Edge is still the legal man - holds him up powerbomb style - Mysterio from the apron with a springboard into a cannonball OVER Edge's head! Edge covers but Hebner is busy putting Mysterio outside...Eddie from the apron and NOW he hits his dive into the ring on the pile, reversing them before Hebner catches HIM...now putting Guerrero out of the ring, and *Mysterio* hits a springboard legdrop to the pile. Eddie keeps his back to the ring as Hebner turns round and counts 1, 2, 3 - but it's Chavo on the wrong end of the fall! (7:12) Eddie finally turns back and registers SHOCK as Rob Zombie plays...and Mysterio & Edge are announced as the winners. Your #1 Contenders are Edge & Rey Mysterio! The Undertaker - is - LIMPING! He stops a nearby stagehand - "Hey hey hey - find Brock Lesnar - tell him I'm waitin' on him in the ring!' "Move Over, Charlie Brown - Take a Hike, Great Pumpkin - Beat it, Michael Myers..." nobody does Halloween like SMACKDOWN! TV-PG-DLV - check out that Pyramid marquee Just for fun, here's the "Heyman spoutin' catechism" No Mercy opener...interspersed with clips from the Hell in the Cell match When we come out of *that*, THE AWESOME UNDERTAKER is just about ready to limp out to the ring and display his new cast. That match really did rule, you know. Herb Kunze would no doubt call me a "vampire" at this point. Oh well. "All right, by now you know I'm out here, Brock. And I'm gonna stand here 'til you come down, look me eye to eye, face to face and man to man." "Okay..I just wanna get this straight.." Actually, that's IT'S ALL ABOUT PAUL. "For the record, my client (Brock Lesnar) retired Hulk Hogan, my client (Brock Lesnar) defeated The Rock for the WWE title, and my client (Brock Lesnar) beat you this past Sunday in your own match, Hell in a Cell. In other words, Dead Man, my client is uninterested in hearing what you have to say, he WILL not come out here tonight, he has nothing..." Of course, the music interrupts, KING BROCK LESNAR is out, leaving his belt with Paul and his shirt on the ramp. No time wasted as Lesnar leaps to the apron, parts the ropes and stands locked in a staredown with the American Badass. Man, look at HIS scar! "Ever since Sunday, everywhere I go, everybody that I talk to, they say the same thing: 'you know, Taker, if your hand wasn't broke, you woulda beat Brock Lesnar.' So needless to say, that thought's kinda consumed my mind for the past few days. This is the conclusion that I come up with. A broken hand is no excuse. I knew what I was gettin' into when I walked in the cell. Fact of the matter is, Sunday...you had my number. Now, five years ago...things mighta been a little different. Five years ago, a broken hand, a broken ankle, a broken rib or a broken jaw...I still woulda beat your ass. Fact of the matter is...Sunday it DID matter...and it's still no excuse." Pause. "There's another thing. All the wrestling purists...they're gonna criticise you for bringing in my personal life. Hell, there ain't nobody that appreciates head games more than me. For the past twelve years, I've taken people out of the game before they ever got IN it. Now that bein' said... I have seen the best, I have fought the best...and I've beaten the best. Sunday....and I'm man to man to say this to your face, whether I like it or I don't like it...Sunday...YOU were the best." Taker goes to leave...but Lesnar stops him and requests the mic. "About Sara...(looks to Paul)...it's supposed to be all about business. You see, I was fighting The Undertaker. I needed an edge." And he gives Taker the mic back. Play Taker's music! Wow. Commentators play up the mutual respect. You know what this segment didn't need? SOME DUDE FUCKING A CORPSE Lesnar and Heyman walk off - Lesnar turns back at the last moment to nod in Taker's direction one more time before heading out. Taker, left alone in the ring, starts again. "Oh, hey hey, let's cut the music. There's somethin' else...that's been on my mind. And this ain't gonna be easy. But after twelve years..." Crowd: "NOOOOO" "...my body--" "Hold on, hold on - hold on - hold on - HOLD ON A MINUTE." WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW out to the ring. "I KNOW I just didn't hear that! Brock Lesnar had YOUR number? Brock Lesnar's the BEST? Why don't you give credit where credit's due? It's because of ME Brock Lesnar was able to beat you at Hell in the Cell. That's right, because of me. You know, because, for the past two years, it's been me all around this country, that's been bustin' you up. It's been ME that made you walk with a LIMP. Oh yeah. And it's because of ME that you are nothing but a broken-down has been." "You know...you know, that might be. Everybody's entitled to their opinion, Show. Now I'm not sayin' that what you said is true, but if it is...if I am a broken down has been...I had much rather be a broken down has been...than a Giant that never was." TAG! Play his music again! Taker leaves without saying "And THAT'S FINAL!" Show leaves the ring...but stops short when Taker turns back. "Oh no, no, I'm not gonna punk you out, I SWEAR." Taker again stops halfway up the ramp - and again Show hangs a few feet behind. Taker up to the top...Show finally offers to walk past him. Taker holds his guard and lets him by. Show ready to head behind the curtain...Taker puts his head down and raises his cast in a show of power to the people. Now he turns back to the crowd...cue Show? Or, perhaps he's just taking one final call to the crowd...no, THERE'S Show. Into the set, knee, knee, scooped up - and press slammed off the stage to the floor! Now *Show* raises his arms to the crowd...and gets quite a different response than Taker was getting just a moment ago. REFS, OFFICIALS & TRAINER LARRY HECK surround Taker - the back board makes a rapid appearance as Show walks off. Here's a replay. Arn Anderson acts worried that Taker couldn't squeeze his hand. Stephanie's out and screeching...and STILL not telling us who she traded away for the Show. Hey, let's take a break! When we come back, Taker is still down - Edge & Mysterio are checking on Taker as well. Hey, Dean Malenko! Amazingly, John Cena is NOT there, even after getting that handshake so long ago... MOMENTS AGO! we take another replay - well, we probably could have down without the shot that makes it obvious he landed on padding, but... Slaughter and Laurinati - Laurinit - Johnny Ace are there. Looks like they're just about ready to lift the backboard. Arn: "What hospital are you going to? What's the name of the hospital?" Taker's starting to move his arms a little bit... whoops, Stephanie's screeching again. Might be time to fast forward. And NOW that crazy sumbitch actually gets up on his own...collapsing to the floor. "Let us help you, Take! Don't DO this!" Anderson sure enjoys repeating himself for our benefit. "Let us help you! Let us help you! Let us help you! Let us help you!" Taker shrugs off (well, not LITERALLY) the collar. Now Edge helps him up - well, TRIES to - Taker refuses the help. Taker now crawls backstage. Anderson says "Let us help you" another thousand times. "We KNOW you're all man, let us help you. Come on, Take, come on." Let's take one more replay of Show pressing Taker "spinefirst" onto the tech area from the stage. And let's take one more break. Jakks Pacific ad #2 Commentators shill "The Other Side of Tuesday" - Buffy and Haunted, Tuesday on UPN! Dawn Marie calls over Funaki, then asks him to send Al Wilson thataway...Torrie's looking for him. He does, then we follow him (WALKING!) into a "chance" encounter with Dawn Marie. "Oh! Al, hi! I wasn't expecting to see you, but um...now that I have, I have something to say, okay? Um...I know that there's a slight age difference between you and I...and I really don't think it's right that Torrie comes between us...and, and I don't want to come between you and your daughter...so...I think it's best for now that we just say goodbye. Okay?" Buss on the cheek. "Okay." "Oh...and one more thing. Out of the very few men that I've ever been with (ha), you were the most...PASSIONATE...man...I have ever, EVER experienced." Another deep sigh. So he grabs her and PLANTS one on her. This is almost as gross as when Vince does it. She gives him a big hug....and we're out of there BILLY KIDMAN (Allentown, Pennsylvania - 215 pounds - with Let Us Take You Back to Last Thursday) v. JOHN CENA (West Newbury, Massachusetts - 249 pounds - orange and white [Grizzlies?] with Survivor Series onsale hype)
referee: Korderas
Cena again offers the Hand of Friendship, as if Kidman would go for it. Kidman politely declines. Clothesline ducked, Kidman with a quick rollup for 2. Enzuigiri! 2! Cena into the ropes, dropkick doesn't happen - Cena hooks the ropes and Kidman pulls up. Kidman goes for the pescado...but is caught! Cena rams Kidman into the post back first. Cena out...and in. Kidman rolled back into the ring and Cena covers for just 2. Onsale crawl here. Kidman whipped hard into the corner. Cena with a straight right hand. Kidman fires back - right, right, right - doesn't have much on them. Knee by Cena. Kidman hard into the corner, spinebuster out, 1, 2, no. 1, 2, no. Cena is getting frustrated early. Kidman sneaks in an elbow - kick, kick, right, right, ducks a swing, off the ropes but manages a headscissors out, clothesline, dropkick, into the ropes is reversed, but Kidman gets the boot up - second rope - elbow! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no. Kidman can't stop holding his lower back. Into the corner is reversed - Kidman up and over, but lands on the shoulders...but before Cena can throw him off, Kidman spins into a Frankensteiner, grabs a rope and hangs on for the 1, 2, 3! (2:45) Cena is LIVID. Korderas vigorously defends himself, saying he never saw a hand on the ropes. Kidman's back in the ring and Cena MAULS him with a lariat. Mounting Kidman, Cena rams his head into the mat a few times, then throws him hard through the ropes out to the floor. Cena out after him - HARD whip into the STEEL steps and that won't help his injured back any. Cena's possessed! Finally he walks off...with a grin... MARC LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOYD knocks on the exciting door...and Lesnar actually answers! Loyd looks for a response to Big Show's challenge. "Where's Funaki? Does he have the night off?" "I don't know." "See, me and Funaki, we go way back. You see Funaki, you tell him I said hi. As far as Big Show...he wants an answer, huh? I'll be happy to give him an answer. I'm not too hard to find. After all...YOU found me, Sherlock." Confidential ad - at least this time they remember to use the "special" airing time in the graphic Catch the WWE live next Tuesday in Grand Rapids, Saturday in Wilkes-Barre, Sunday in Bethlehem, Monday in Bangor, and Tuesday in Manchester! Check out the WWE.com home page! Let Us Take You Back to No Mercy, where Benoit & Angle posed with their new championship title belts TONIGHT: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit! Backstage, Benoit tapes up - and receives a visit from the Guerreros. "Hey Benoit - Vato vato hey, man, take it easy vato, don't be mad at me, okay holmes? Look, man...just came to tell you, okay? Me 'n' Chavo, we just talked to Kurt Angle, ese. Ese man...I owe it to you." "Oh you owe it to me?" "Yeah, I do, man. I owe you to tell...the truth. I gotta speak the truth, man. I'm messed up." "Messed up." "I just wanna be your friend now. And, I don't expect you to forgive me, holmes, you know, it's cool, I understand, man. I wouldn't forgive myself. Okay? Just wanted to show you some respect." "Respect. Hey...what do you really want from this, Eddie?" "Just your friendship." "Just my friendship." "Yeah." "Well as for what you told Kurt Angle earlier...you may be right." And he grins... Meanwhile, Big Show - is - WALKING! all the way to Brock Lesnar's door. But Paul Heyman is the man he finds. "Oh my God - Show? Now...Show, please. Now now, be reasonable. I mean, we're all very, very happy to have you here on SmackDown! I've been telling people for years you were the most underutilised talent in this entire industry...I really have! But...I can't allow my client to accept this match. I mean, please, just think about this, Show, I mean you're gonna be #1 Contender one day, Show...I know that you are, because, Show...I *believe* in you. But Show, please, be a rational man. I mean, your first day here on SmackDown!? You can't make demands like this! And under absolutely no circumstances can I allow my client to defend--" Heyman is shoved aside as Lesnar appears. "You want a shot at my title?" "Oh yeah." "You got it." Smiling, Show backs out. Lesnar ALSO grins. NIGHT OF A THOUSAND GRINS KURT ANGLE (WWE tag team champion - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - 237 pounds) v. AD BREAK Tough Enough III ad #2 Stacker 2 ad #2 - say, isn't trying to sell ephedra-free Stacker 2 a bit like trying to sell caffeine-free Mountain Dew? Before you die, the last thing you see is WWE SmackDown! on Halloween-- huh? KURT ANGLE (with Earlier Tonight! and Survivor Series is presented by Xbox 17 November!) v. CHRIS BENOIT (WWE tag team champion - Edmonton, Alberta - 229 pounds) for a broken trophy
referee: MIKE CHIODA
Cole actually makes the salient point that Stephanie might have just considered making two trophies. Yeah, 'cause this match probably bumped Albert vs. Shannon Moore or something! About ten minutes left in the show as we hook it up - single leg takedown by Angle, rides him around, Benoit back up and he STILL has the waistlock - but finally we get a break. We go again - another takedown by Angle to the waistlock, Benoit up, Angle throws him down again - Benoit finally unleashes a back elbow to break the hold - stomp, stomp - Benoit puts Angle into the ropes, big elbow puts Angle down. Head to the buckle by Benoit. Winds up - I think that's the FIRST chop we've had all night! And there's the second (woooo!) - into the ropes is reversed and Angle hits a short clothesline. Angle with a stomp, stomp, stomp. Snap suplex gets Angle the first 2 count, and the first near fall. Angle picks Benoit to his feet - big elbow. Chop! Right, right, cable goes out, stomp, stomp. Angle still in control. Angle stands on the neck and uses the ropes to add a little leverage on the choke. Angle with a death suplex and hooks the leg for 2. Stomps on the head, stomp. Benoit tries to slip out, but Angle stomps on him again. Right hand, chop, chop, into the opposite corner...but Benoit gets the boot up on the charge, clotheslines him down in the back, drops the elbow off the ropes. Nice. Into the ropes, Angle reverses, BIG back body drop. Into the ropes, Benoit with a reversal of his own, and HE hits a back body drop. Angle swings and misses - Benoit grabs a waistlock - ONE! TWO! Angle blocks the third German suplex attempt and manages a standing switch. ONE! TWO! THREE German suplexes from Angle - 1, 2, NO!! Angle is hopping mad and DARING Benoit to get up. Olympic Slam attempt COUNTERED by Benoit - Benoit ducks the swing - catches him belly-to-belly and throws him overhead in a MASSIVE suplex - Angle doing all he can to land on his head. Benoit up, Angle down...thumb crosses throat and Benoit is looking to end it right now. Benoit climbing up...swandive headbutt - CONNECTS! That took almost as much out of Benoit - slow crawl, rolls Angle and hooks both legs - 1, 2, NO!! But as Angle rolls over, Benoit applies the crossface! Angle tries to crawl to the ropes...touches the bottom rope...but Benoit uses his boot to shove the bottom rope out of Angle's grasp!! Angle tries to roll backward...but only manages to trap himselef IN the crossface IN the middle of the ring! Angle uses his free arm to try a keylock around the ankle - turns is - 1, 2, Benoit out but Angle rolls and locks in the ANGLELOCK! Benoit can't stand to be in this too long - using his free leg, Benoit rolls and kicks Angle off, Angle off the ropes into a small package from Benoit, 1, 2, NO! Angle up, gutshot - OLYMPIC SLAM! Hooks the leg - 1, 2, NO!!! Angle wastes no time going back to the ankle. Benoit is too far from all sets of ropes...yet STILL manages to muscle Angle over and down - and AGAIN puts on the crossface! Will Angle tap THIS time? He reaches...but finds one last bit of strength and manages to roll and shake Benoit...only to immediately go back down to a Benoit clothesline! Benoit heads back to the ropes and climbs up...but this time, Angle is ready, sprints to the corner and throws off Benoit in a belly-to-belly superplex! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO!! DOWN COME THE STRAPS but *now* EDDIE GUERRERO is out and on the apron...while Chioda walks over to keep HIM out of the match, CHAVO GUERRERO is in from behind with a title belt - WHACKS Angle's back, Benoit rolls and keeps the leg hooked until Chioda turns back - 1, 2, 3! (SoCal 8:18) Benoit realises what's happened too late - and as he looks at the Guerreros leaving through the crowd, Angle is up from behind with a forearm and ANOTHER Olympic Slam! Angle outside and grabs the trophy...then demolishes it against the commentary table, floor, steps, and so on. Angle grabs a hunk of trophy and walks off as his music plays. Chioda checks on Benoit, who only now has begun to stir. Credits are up and Tough Enough is NEXT - it's been a good run, gang, but my streak will end right here at 167. More on that Monday....SO LONG!