by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
Look! A UPN promo! And one more! The evolution begins now! The WHA..?
Out with EVOLUTION, in with REVOLUTION!
REH-VOH-LOO-SHUN-REH-VOH-LOO-SHUN-REH-VOH oh well on with it already
TV-14-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF! TV-14? Hey, I thought this
was FAMILY entertainment
We open with a Special Video Look at Triple H's road to the title - from
Fully Loaded, through SummerSlam, and the next night on RAW. Left in his
wake - the Rock, Steve Austin, Jim Ross, and Mankind.
Closed Captioned logo, and Opening Credits
IT IS TIME TO LAY THE SMACK DOWN! WWF Smack Down! airing 26.8.99 from the
Kemper Arena in Kansas City, MO (but taped 24.8) on the United Paramount
Network - dig them crazy ovals, Pookie!
Unlike that other federation, the WWF wastes no time trotting out its
standardbearer as new WWF Champion TRIPLE H, along with THAT SLUT CHYNA
make their way down to the ring. I hear the dulcet tones of ring
announcer Tony Chimel and say a silent prayer of thanks. "You know
normally I would come out here, and I would have just two words for all of
ya - but tonight I've got about four..." and the "asshole" chant starts
up. "Maybe so, but the fact of the matter is, I AM - THE - WORLD -
WRESTLING - FEDERATION - CHAAAMPIOOOOON!" Backstage, we see the Rock
looking on. "And for each and every one of you, right down to every
corporate honcho in the back that said 'oh you can't do it, you'll never
make it...' - who held me back - well, Monday night, I DID IT. I turned
it around, and I crammed it down all your throats, like it or not, I am
THE WWF Champion. I proved to the world what I said I was, and that is -
*I AM the game*. NOT Stone Cold Steve Austin - not Mankind - no, because
after I got done with Austin at SummerSlam, I came the next time and I
beat Mankind right in the middle, so the fact of the matter is you can
line 'em up and I'll roll 'em down, from the very bottom all the way up -
it doesn't matter who it is, whether it's the People's Ass or anybody else
['Rocky' chant]..." Nice to see a champion wearing the belt...you know, as
a BELT, too. "Do You Smell what the Rock's cookin'?" There he is - LA
ROCA. Crowd chants appropriately. "Finally, the Rock has come BACK to
Kansas City! How DARE you, little jabrone, come on to the Rock's show,
come on to the People's show, come on to the premiere show, Smack Down!,
and ... and run your mouth about how you're the WWF Champion, and run your
mouth about how you're 'the game.' Well the Rock says if you are the game,
then quite frankly you need to go back to the drawing board, because your
game ABSOLUTELY SUCKS! The Rock's got a little plan in mind - tonight, in
the middle of that ring, surrounded by the millions...of the Rock's fans,
the Rock is gonna beat your monkey ass, become the WWF Champ...and there's
two things you can do about it - absolutely nothing, and like it."
"Rock, if you even want to play in this game, you gotta be in my league,
and listen you little jabrone, you are nowhere near my league. So what
you can do, is you can get on your little ass in the back, go back to
whatever it is you were doing, and get lost." "Obviously, there's a lack
of communication, you've left the Rock with just three choices. The first
choice is the Rock can go in the back, take off his electrifying $800
shirt, come back out here and start this promo all over again. The
second..." well, it involves the title belt, some Icy Hot, and Triple H's
candyass. "The fact of the matter is, Rock, not only are you not in my
league - hell, you can't even hold my jock!" "Seeing as how the Rock was
not done speaking, you should know your role...AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH! The
Rock's third choice...is he can walk down the People's Ramp, just like
he's doin' now, have you take a listen because they are chanting his name
[cue chant - inhale], then the Rock figured he'd take his $600 shoe off,
just like this, turn it sideways, just like this..." and you can finish
THAT sentence on your own. Well, listen here, it's MR. WHYSPYR come out
to no doubt make the match - lest we forget that he's the WWF Commissioner
and all (see, they remind us because this might be our first time watching
the WWF, network TV and all, right.) Michaels says if we're gonna do
this, we need to make it official, "and there's only one cat in the World
Wrestling Federation that can do that, and that's HBK. So, if the people
WANT...the people shall RECEIVE. Tonight, right there in that very ring,
the Rock will take on, in one-on-one competition, Triple H - and the World
Wrestling Federation championship WILL BE on the line. And just to make
sure that there are no shenanigans, no crooked referees, I figure there's
only one man in the World Wrestling Federation that we can trust to be the
law and order in that ring, and that ALSO is yours truly, the
Heartbreak Kid. So if you two don't mind, in your WWF Championship match,
*I* will be the Special Guest Referee." From nowhere, as HBK's theme
plays, SKIPPY appears in the ring. Shane reminds us that he IS the owner
of the WWF - so he'll appoint HIMSELF the SECOND special guest referee.
Michaels says we may have a problem with that, as Shane'll be busy
tonight. "Let me give you a little lesson in stroke, McMahon. Seeing as
that I can book any WWF wrestler in any match at any time, and coming off
a stellar, **** performance at SummerSlam, you yourself are now a WWF
superstar. So, with that in mind, you're not gonna be able to help me
referee, because you're gonna be busy taking on a man in one-on-one
competition that you SCREWED last Monday night." Why, yes, it *is*
MANKIND's theme playing over the PA and there HE is, taking Michaels'
place at the top of the ramp. "All this talk about stroking and screwing
has got Mankind a little excited, so I figure why put off until today what
we can do tomorrow? So what Mankind is gonna do, is he's gonna unbutton
his three dollar Salvation Army special, he's gonna loosen up his tie that
was given to him free by the WWF, he's gonna begin walking down the
People's Aisle, and he's going to listen while the dozens ... and dozens
of Mankind's fans all chant his name ..." "The Rock says (bleep) all this
talk, he's gonna lay the Smack Down!" and he rushes the ring. There's the
MEAN STREET POSSE come to join the fray. Both Pete "Gas" and Joey Abs
taste Rock Bottom, while Pete "Gas" gets his arm worked over in the corner
by Mankind - somewhere in all this, Triple H, Chyna, and Shane beat a
hasty retreat.
Your hosts are JIM ROSS & JERRY LAWLER - Ross sports a cast. Tonight, in
addition to the above, there's a Triple Threat tag team title match, the
ring debut of Chris Jericho against the Road Dogg, Stephanie responds to
Test's proposal, and
Yow! It's Jeff Jarrett, Debra and Stacy - and they're WALKING!!!
And here's Mr. Ass, somewhere else in the building - he too is
WALKING!!!!!
WWF Smack Down! is brought to you by 10-10-220 and M&M's! ONLY ON UPN!!
Whew, I was SO worried they wouldn't open with a twenty minute
entrance-and-interviewfest.
Take a drink everytime someone says "UPN"
JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Debra & Miss Kitty) v. KING ASS in a
nontitle match - Let Us Take You Back to Monday and show you how Chyna
nicked the Intercontinental title shot from Mr. Ass, who was too dim to
take the contract with him when he went to look for a pen. Jarrett
attacks before the bell and stays on him. Off the (blue) ropes, duck,
leapfrog, dropkick. Off the ropes, Gunn hits a powerslam for 2. Debra's
ALREADY up on the apron. Jarrett tries to get the distracted Ass, but
he's not THAT distracted - catching Jeff with a punch. But Jarrett
manages a tornado armbreaker out of the corner to regain the momentum. The
match moves outside after Gunn misses a crossbody and follows through, out
the ropes. Jarrett takes Gunn to the STEEL ringpost. Thrown back in -
Ass' head to the top turnbuckle. Jarrett with a four punch non-countalong
- Gunn hits snake eyes. THAT SLUT CHYNA is out as Gunn misses a Stinger
splash. Miss Kitty has the guitar for Jarrett - but Chyna takes the
guitar away - swings - and hits DEBRA after Kitty ducks. We go back to
the ring, where Gunn has Jarrett rolled up with a tights pull - 1, 2, 3.
Cameras totally missed it?? (2:55) Chyna gets in the ring, words are
exchanged, but before Gunn can moon Chyna, she drops and delivers the
Golota. Geez, these two seemed so close, so recently...
Backstage, LILIAN GARCIA interviews AL SNOW - apparently wwf.com revealed
earlier today that Bossman will be here tonight with Pepper - Snow has
some words for the dognapper, mainly involving begging that nothing
bad happens to his chihuahua.
Howard Finkel shines Chris Jericho's boots - sounds like they're coming up
NEXT!
Backstage, Test nervously paces - is somebody giving birth? Oh, wait...I
remember now
THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE & X-PAC (with a can of Hansen's
Energy Drink) v. ACOLYTES v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW & UNDERTAKER (with
Paul Bearer) in a Triple Threat match for the tag team titles - Let Us
Take You Back to the past two title changes amongst these three teams, as
well as all six men having fun Monday on RAW. By the way, Monday's RAW
will air at 11 Eastern, 10 Central, and 9 Pacific. Undertaker joins the
commentary team in a bit of a surprise. Big Show, Faarooq and Kane start
as Undertaker says that he's showing some tough love to his tag team
partner by having him go it alone tonight. Kane hits a DDT (I guess) on
Big Show for 2. "When Big Show realises he's a killer, there'll be nobody
left in that ring. Until then, he goes it alone." Big Show is dumped out
of the ring, inspiring to deliver a pep talk - and an open-handed slap.
Show, enraged, goes back in the ring, takes Faarooq out of the ring, picks
up X-Pac, who punches away while both Acolytes clip Show until he's back
on his knees. Acolyte doubleteaming - double whip, Show with a double
clothesline. X-Pac tags Kane - flying clothesline - uranage for Bradshaw
- oh, maybe that was a chokeslam, there's one for Faarooq. Big Show has
come to and he and Kane trade blows - Now X-Pac AND Kane both in and
doubleteaming - Acolytes, from the outside, drag Kane out - Show whips
X-Pac, who tries a dropkick through the ropes - it hits, but he bounces
back into the waiting arms of the Big Show, who hits
ahhhhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAM on X-Pac for the pinfall. (3:46) "No mercy," says
the Undertaker
Test paces some more. Hey, you know - pacing - it's kinda like WALKING!
Stephanie arrives - "This is driving me nuts - you got an answer for me?"
Beaming, Stephanie says "Yep!" and merrily skips away.
BIG BOSSMAN enters the ring - alone. "I hear Al Snow's looking for me.
Well, the Big Bossman is 6'7" and 310 pounds, and I'm not hard to find. So
Al Snow, get your butt out here, because everybody in this building knows
I got something of yours." AL SNOW comes out - "please, just tell me
where Pepper is, please." Bossman says Pepper is safe - for now.
"Everybody knows I'm not a patient man, but one thing's for sure, if that
little SOB bites me he's going straight to hell." Bossman says
he'll give back Pepper - in exchange for a shot at the Hardcore title.
"Whatever, just don't hurt the dog. Give me ... my friend back, please."
Bossman says if he doesn't show for the title match, he'll put Pepper in a
cold hard place and show him what hard time means. Ummm...I wonder what
he means by that.
You're watching WWF SMACK DOWN - UPN THURSDAY! Well, all right - *I* am -
and you're living vicariously through me. That's ALMOST as good. I think
that bumper means we're in the middle of an extended ad break. I'm gonna
get a drink. You stay here until I get back.
Okay, I'm back. I've got WATER! I checked my fridge, but there wasn't
any
BATTLEDOME comes this fall to KHBK! Interesting choice of local promo
Magic: the Gathering presents WWF UNFORGIVEN! 26 September IS only one
short month away!
AL SNOW v. BIG BOSSMAN (with Pepper) for the Hardcore title - Bossman has
Pepper muzzled and with the baton on the neck. Bossman's my hero!
Bossman deposits Pepper with Lawler, and sure enough, he pees on him - off
camera, of course. Snow is all over Bossman to start - off the ropes,
reversal, Snow puts on the brakes and goes outside. Bossman heads him off
before he gets to Pepper, though. Man, it sure turns me around with the
commentary tables to the left of the ring. The ladder is out, yup.
Pepper is shivering like a crackhead. Cookie sheet shot! Snow places the
ladder against the ropes and climbs to the top - Bossman hits the top
rope, taking Snow outside, but hitting HIMSELF with the ladder as Snow
bounces off the top rope. Snow again goes outside, but Bossman is outside
again, between Pepper and Snow - nightstick shot! Cover on the floor - 1,
2, 3. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Hardcore champion. (2:21) For
an encore, Bossman goes ahead and takes the belt, AND Pepper, off with
him.
X-Pac is throwing a tantrum in the back, near the exit. "You're better
off on your own! I'm sick of being the weak link!!" He walks off,
leaving Kane alone. "Seaaaaaaaaaaan," cries Kane. But it's for naught.
Chris Jericho is WALKING! And he's ready to save this show! Well, that's
what he told me just now.
Snow's come to - and sprints to the back to see if he can find Bossman.
You're watching UPN - here's another block of ads
TV-14-DLV - split screen shows Triple H & the Rock preparing for
their title match
Backstage, Snow frantically searches for Bossman - and does not find
ROAD DOGG v. CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO - Let Us Take You Back to Monday's
RAW, where Jericho made Finkel ALWAYS BELIEVE he was a Waryr and act as
bait for a punkin' from Jericho. It's he, it's he, it's the
Dee-oh-dubba-jee. Crowd says "Suck it" to give Phil Mushnick column
fodder. This IS Jericho's televised WWF debut, thank you for asking.
How many weeks before they just call him "Y2J," anyway? Ask Paul Wight
about that. Well, let's see what he can do in the WWF. Lockup - no, hip
thrusts from the Dogg. Now a lockup, hairlpull to the corner,
Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine from Dogg. Off the ropes, shoulderblock
from Jericho. Off the ropes, leapfrog, catapult from Road Dogg, right
hand, right that takes Jericho outside. Head to the barricade. Whip -
reversed - Dogg hits the STEEL steps. Jericho puts him back in the ring -
top rope - well, crotchin' as Dogg hits the top rope - superplex? YES!
Overhead superplex from Road Dogg and Jericho is reeling. HOWARD FINKEL
is out with a refreshing Hansen's Energy Drink, which he throws in Dogg's
eyes to blind him. Backbreaker from Jericho. "C'mon baby!" Off the
ropes, Dogg hits a knee, but Jericho counters a clothesline into a double
underhook, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker - yow. Jericho outside - hey it's a
table! But this isn't a hardcore match! Table in the ring. Stomp,
stomp, stomp. Jericho sets the table up in the centre of the ring.
Jericho settting him up for a vertical suplex into the table - but Dogg
counters into a DDT. Jericho up first, kick, chop, off the ropes, duck,
Dogg with a left, left, left, get jiggy with it but hold the back, right.
Reverse Bossman straddle on the second rope, but Dogg holds his back
again. This is, like, SELLING and stuff. Still, there's the Wiggly
Wobbly Wooqly elbowdrop. Holding his back, Dogg can't hold him down and
he kicks out at 2. ... Jericho ducks a boot, hits a gutshot, there's a
powerbomb - now holding on for the DOUBLE powerbomb - and through the
table! Referee "Blind" Tim White has no choice but to call for the bell
(DQ 4:31) and now Jericho's putting him in the "modified Boston Crab (nee
Liontamer)!" A busload of referees and officials just manage to get
Jericho off him - Jericho blows a kiss to the camera as HIS music plays -
umm, he LOST. Not that I'm complaining...
"The WWF would like to remind you that these are trained athletes, and
THIS should only take place here..." [shot of the WWF ring] "...not here"
[shot of a playground] "A public service message from UPN." My GOD!
Phil Mushnick was RIGHT! I've seen the LIGHT! Ha.
I don't CARE if Syndra's animated - I wanna DO her!
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago -
"You see how easy it is for Y2J to be dominant in this ridiculous
company?" Jericho and Finkel exchange congratulations, but Jericho soon
casts a wary eye to the monitor, where Tony Chimel is in the shot. "Look
at this idiot! What has he ever done to deserve to be in the ring? He
doesn't have the charisma you have - he doesn't have the hair that you
have - he doesn't have the looks - he doesn't have the fashion
sense...why is he in the ring and you're here? You're a WARRIOR - I think
you should go out there and prove to me that you are the best, that you're
a machine, that's you're a Y2J WARRIOR - now GO! GO LITTLE TROOPER!
GO!" Jericho gives a knowing look into the camera - and breaks up.
Back to ring announcer TONY CHIMEL. "The following contest is scheduled
for ONE FALL--" well, "Theme From Ultimate Warrior" plays and Howard runs
out, climbs the ropes, runs around, shakes the ropes, points to Chimel.
"I am the best at what I do! Make no mistake about it! You are no good -
I want my job back - and I'm gonna take it back RIGHT NOW - you're outta
here - hit the bricks, man - hit the bricks!" And then he SHOVES Chimel
across the mat. "Ladies and gentlemen, the----" and Chimel WAYLAYS Finkel.
Holy shit! Totally throttling him. Jericho, in the back, grimaces.
"That's gonna leave a mark." Fucking hilarious. Chimel boots Finkel out
of the ring. While he dusts himself off, CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO comes
back out to pick up his protege. In the meantime, KEN SHAMROCK is
introduced. As he walks down the ramp, he and Jericho bump - a brief look
is exchanged, but nothing comes of it. As Shamrock walks on, Jericho sends
the Fink after him. Fink taps on Shamrock's shoulder, and Fink points and
talks. Shamrock pulls his finger, and he farts. No, not really. While
Shamrock has Finkel's finger, Jericho manages a swift chairshot from
behind, then a super loogie. Finkel and Jericho walk off. Shamrock,
recovered, sprints after them.
Our awesome twosome discuss Finkel and Jericho, then...
STEPHANIE McMAHON sidles over to the ring, wiggling everything that can be
wiggled along the way. She takes the mic. "Andrew, would you please come
out here?" Damn, he's whipped already. TEST walks down to the ring as we
see Stephanie smirk in the ring - now Test is smirking. That's a
contagious smirk. Not to ME, mind you. How much blush should they put on
Stephanie to convey the appropriate emotion here? Stephanie said that she
wanted everything to be right - that's why she waited on Monday - and now
she has an answer for him. Test holds up the proceedings so he can get on
one knee (AGAIN), and propose (AGAIN), and she says "YesIwillyesIwill!"
You know, he first asked her out on 7 June. They haven't even gone out
three months - yeah. Anywho, before they can get to some serious neckin',
the MEAN STREET POSSE advances on Test from behind, while SKIPPY holds his
sister back in a corner. The save is made by ... MANKIND! Chair!
Chair! Chair! Shane and Stephanie shout back and forth on the outside as
Stephanie brandishes a ring. "Why don't you just leave those two alone?
You know, it's my second time out here tonight, and I'm not walking down
that ramp again. You and I are going to have our match RIGHT NOW!"
SKIPPY v. MANKIND - Shane says he's not ready. Mankind says he's gonna
leave the chair in the ring, and he wants Shane to find the testicular
fortitude to walk into the ring - Mankind will let him have one free shot.
Shane is wearing a "Mr. Sucko" shirt, totally ignored by the commentators
- Shane is the KING of parody T-shirts. Shane comes in with his one shot
and FLATTERNS Mankind - oh, wait, no he didn't. Mankind is up. Mic to
the head! Headbutt. Clothesline to take Shane over the top rope to the
floor. Posse removed. Meanwhile, Shane's draped on the commentary table -
Mankind is out to join him. Quite a tussle going on - SUPLEX ON THE
FLOOR! Mankind brings Shane back into the ring - side Russian legsweep.
Off the ropes, no, Posse holds the foot. There's a cast shot from Rodney.
Triple team is on - but Test is finally up, and delivering a Diesel-esque
big boot to various posse members. Well now BRISCO & PATTERSON are out to
join the fray. Did Stephanie just put a Million Dollar Dream on Pete
"Gas?" While all this is going on, Shane managed a second rope something
on Mankind. Mankind with a double arm DDT! There's the Big Sock.
There's THAT SLUT CHYNA come out to talk about "Shasta McNasty"
(premiering this fall, ONLY ON UPN!) with referee "Blind" Earl Hebner so
TRIPLE H can ALSO come out and smite Mankind most verily withe yon steele
chaire, allowing Shane to cover Mankind - 1, 2, 3. Man, Shane NEVER JOBS.
Well, he jobbed to Test Sunday, but I'll just IGNORE THAT because it
WRECKS MY POINT. Ha! No opening bell, but it's under (5:00)
Backstage, Chris Jericho and Howard Finkel sprint to their rent-a-car -
Jericho fails to unlock the door for the Fink, and drives off, leaving
the Fink to be found by Ken Shamrock. "Don't you ever - EVER - touch me
again - what the hell's that smell? Did you just crap on yourself?" And
he
decides to leave the Fink wallowing in his own filth - ah hell, I just
missed the "Family Guy" rerun, didn't I? Why'd they have to remind me of
THAT?
MICHAEL KING COLE works tonight! He tries to interview Tori as she
WALKS!!! She removes her evening gown (!) and, clad only in a thong, keeps
walkin'. Ivory won't humiliate her TONIGHT! She can do that HERSELF!
Notice how the ONLY time we see somebody walking in the direction AWAY
from the camera is when it's a fairly attractive and topless woman. On
the plus side, Cole FINALLY interviewed someone back there without getting
his ass handed to him on a platter.
Dig that CRAAAAZY Kansas City skyline - Smack Down! is brought
to you by Hansen's Energy Drink, 10-10-220, and the JVCKaboom!box!
Let us take you back to last Sunday, where Triple H injured Steve Austin's
knee.
Earlier this week, Michael King Cole had a sitdown with Steve Austin. He's
got a torn ligament - had it BEFORE the match, but it was SummerSlam and
he wasn't gonna sit home and WISH he could wrestle. It'll be about a
month of rehab, but he'll be back and there'll be hell to pay for Triple
H. Does Austin blame himself for Triple H's mean streak, as he took a page
out of his book? There's no problem with that - but he hasn't read the
WHOLE book...
IVORY (with that FUCKING scarf) v. TORI in a nontitle Evening Gown Match -
The thinking is that an already naked Tori can't lose this match. Before
Tori comes out, the cadres of refs and officials blocks her way. TONY
GAREA gallantly offers his own shirt. Tori comes out in the proffered
shirt. Tori spears Ivory - there's a hairpull faceslam, a hairpull
snapmare, snother, Tori mounts her and rips at the gown. Hairpull head to
the buckle. Right hands from Tori, but Ivory claws the face and rips at
the shirt. Nope. Another spear from Tori and the dress is off. Tori
wins. (:57) Tori's still...well, let's call it "fighting..." - LUNA TUNES
comes out to stop her.
Lilian Garcia is backstage with Triple H & Chyna. Chyna tells Garcia to
show the champ some respect. Triple H ... has done enough talking
tonight. If Commissioner Michaels doesn't call it down the middle, he
will make sure that he NEVER WALKS AGAIN.
Speaking of which...the Rock - is - WALKING!
Shawn Michaels - is - WALKING! (and advertising his school) Hey, if
Triple H makes sure he never walks again, does that mean less walkin'
shots on my WWF television programs? Ha!
Jaleel White will ALWAYS have them bugged out eyes, that's all I'm saying
Snow is STILL out there ... looking for Pepper, that is.
Cole, Hebner and Korderas catch up to Test and Stephanie for
congratulations - they just WON'T let them leave together, will they.
TRIPLE H (with That Slut Chyna) v. LA ROCA for the WWF Championship -
Don't forget, a "special time" on the East Coast if you want to watch RAW.
I'M still stuck watching it at 9, supposedly. About eleven to the hour
and they probably end on time on network TV - ha! Blows traded - Rock
getting the better of it - to the corner - Helmsley whips him out. Rock
Bottom attempt - nope - Pedigree attempt - nope - Rock with a lariat.
Right, right, right, off the ropes, reversed by Triple H, but head down,
kick from the Rock, clotheslinen from Triple H to counter. Kick, right,
right, right, right, choke on the second rope, C...Michaels have a chat
with Chyna. Off the ropes, reversed, Rock takes Helmsley over the top
rope to the floor - now he's following. Right hand. Up the ramp we go.
Blows traded, back and forth with rights, knee from Helmsley, side
headlock, walking up the ramp, vertical suplex attempt is blocked, again,
Rock with a suplex of his own - on the STEEL! Stomp from the Rock. Rock
taking TripleH in front of the big screen. Right, right. Side Russian
legsweep on the STEEL! How come that doesn't hurt the Rock, too? Well,
we're getting back to the ramp, right from the Rock, H staggers down the
ramp and manages a kick of his own as the Rock follows. Head to the STEEL
steps. H throws Rock back in and follows. Right, Rock ducks another
right and clotheslines H out of the ring. Rock follows. Head to the
commentary table. Right, right, openhanded slap - but Chyna manages a low
blow from behind - Michaels is out and, inspired by the Body Sunday,
ejects Chyna just like Ventura did. While this is going on and they
stroll up the ramp, Helmsley deposits Rock in the ring, then follows up
from behind to yell at Michaels. The argument continues, but the
Commissioner's gonna win it. Triple H back in the ring - Rock with a
gutshot and a DDT, but Chyna's still got Michaels' attention - Michaels
somehow manages to catch it on the big screen and sprints back to the
ring, but only makes a 1 count. Now SKIPPY is out to bitch at Michaels and
vice versa. Can't Shane be the second ref now? H driving his shoulder
into Rock's gut in the corner. Whip into the opposite corner, and the
Rock hits hard. Right from Helmsley, whip into the opposite corner, and
again the Rock's back hits the corner turnbuckle hard. Helmsley with a
vertical suplex. Running kneedrop. 1, 2, kickout. That count seemed a
little reluctant... Helmsley to the chinlock while the crowd chants
"Rocky." Helmsley wrenching it in. Arm falls once, arm falls twice...arm
doesn't fall thrice. Rock on his feet - right, right, hold broken, right,
knee to the gut from Helmsley. Triple H runs into a hot shot, though.
Shane is on the apron, distracting Michaels, who only manages a 1 once
he's figured out what's going on. Off the ropes, Rock with a swinging
neckbreaker. There's a shot for Shane as well. ROCK BOTTOM! You'd think
with the title on the line he wouldn't stall and bother with the People's
Elbow - MICHAELS JUST SUPERKICKED THE ROCK!! As Rock was coming off the
ropes, he ran SMACK DOWN! into Michaels' show. There's a Pedigree. 1, 2,
3. Michaels, Helmsley..then Shane embrace. Well, I suppose that we can
consider that a swerve. (9:41) Here's some replays. That UPN logo
infringes on the lower right hand corner, you know. Chyna is also out to
join the celebration - Ross can't believe what we've just seen. Well
then, me neither.
Say, what happened to the Blonde Bytch project, anyway? GOOD NIGHT!
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net