by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
KINGS UPDATE: 13-7, fifth place (4 GB) - well it was nice while it lasted.
Goodbye first place - goodbye forever
You...
One World Leader Attitude - TV-PG-DLV - WWF!
Let Us Take You Back to Sunday...and Monday. Vince there, Stephanie here,
Shane over there, Triple H all around, HEY! There's the back of Ken
Shamrock's head! Whoa! Remember when the Brood was part of the Ministry
of Darkness? Hey! Stephanie strapped to a symbol and there's Paul Bearer
performing a wedding! And there's Vince and Shane taking off. And
there's Stephanie and Hunter "taking over." Here's some of what happened
on Monday after they took over. Wow...more like ALL of it. Geez but this
recap seems to go ON and ON...I mean, didn't everybody SEE this already on
Monday?
"Earlier Today" footage shows Stephanie and Hunter leading a company
meeting...hey, this is a "No Smoking" facility! Anyway, Vince and Shane
aren't around. Hunter says that things will be handled differently from
now on. From top to bottom, everybody here will be treated fairly.
Tonight, Mankind will get a chance to take out his hatred on Al Snow.
Rock will get a shot at the Big Show tonight. "Ladies and
gentlemen...tonight marks a new era in the World Wrestling Federation..."
"The McMahon-Helmsley era..."
Closed captioned symbol and Opening Credits - or, the only time we see the
Godfather on this show these days
FIREWORKS! En espanol donde sea disponible! Tonight, Florida State
University hosts SmackDown! (Well, taped 14.12 - aired 16.12.99)
BIG BOSSMAN & PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN start off tonight's festivities. Now
that Bossman's out of the title hunt, we can once again remember that
Bossman is in fact the Hardcore Champeen. "I want you people to shut up!"
That doesn't work, by the way. "If you think what I did to Al Snow was
bad, if you think what I did to Big Show's fake daddy was cruel, wait 'til
the Big Bossman takes care of the rest of the MORONS in the World
Wrestling Federation, 'cause I..." The Y2J countdown cuts off Bossman -
say, did this guy turn face when we weren't looking? CHRIS THURSDAY
JERICHO appears and I must note that the OvalTron is to the left this
week. "Bossman, I'm sure that your mother once told you if you can't say
anything nice about anybody, don't say anything at all. Well, tonight Y2J
is telling you, if you can't say anything entertaining, then shut the hell
up! 'Cause while you're out here boring all the Jerichoholics, I'm
standing in the back BEGGING to show off my new and improved
InterChrisinental Championship belt...and since you're already in the ring
with your goofy looking buddy Prince Allan, maybe I should just enter the
ring and destroy you both...AYATOLLAH STYLE!"
CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO v. PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN (with Big Bossman) for
the Intercontinental Championship - Albert gets in the first shot while
Jericho makes with the stare at the Bossman. As Albert lays into him with
rights, the music fires up and out walk THAT SLUT CHYNA & ERNEST MILLER.
Albert is all over Jericho when we look back in the ring - there's a
double underhook into an overhead slam for 2. Jericho with a gutshot,
Albert to the eyes. Into the corner, boot up from Jericho - but he runs
into a bicycle kick - another 2 count. Off the ropes, we cut backstage to
see the Helmsleys enjoying the buffet and the bubbly - we establish that
neither of them booked this match. Right, I think Jericho just did.
Hello? Anyway, whip into the corner reversed, there's a bulldog from
Jericho. Who's got the most heat in this match? Right, the Bossman with
a massive "Boss Man Sux" chant. Jericho trying for the Walls of Jericho
but he lets go as Bossman is up on the apron, distracting referee "Blind"
Tim White. The nightstick is tossed to Albert, who poked the eyes. But
just as he's ready to swing, Chyna is in with a Golota. Jericho gets in a
nightstick shot of his own and hits the Lionsault for 3. (2:44) What's
up with Chyna? Jericho gives us a look of confusion.
Back in the office, Stephanie wonders aloud why Chyna would act as she
did. Hunter says "I can never figure out what Chyna's gonna do - or any
woman, for that matter." Stephanie wonderes what that means...then says
she's going to ringside to check somebody out. "Who?" "Kurt Angle."
"The ostrich jerky salesman? Who's he wrestling?" "Test." "Test? Wait
a minute..."
Check out "Hell Yeah" and "WrestleMania XV" - the DVDs!
Lookit the WWF SLAM CAM! Kickin' special effects!
When we come back, Hunter is telling Stephanie she's not going anywhere.
She, in return, says he can't tell her what to do.
OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST AND CELEBRATED REAL ATHLETE KURT ANGLE v. TEST - no
mic time for Angle? What a crime! As Test climbs over the top rope, "My
Time" plays and out bounds STEPHANIE HELMSLEY. Test turns to check her
out and ends up on the wrong end of a German suplex with a release.
Another suplex from Angle. Off the ropes, duck, Test with a swinging
neckbreaker. Off the ropes, back elbow is ducked, but Test catches Angle
in a sidewalk slam with a full rotation. Steph tells us it's "Stephanie
McMahon-Helmsley" now. Angle rolls up Test for 2 as he's distracted once
again. Clothesline for Angle. Steph blowing a kiss - Test over the rope
- Angle crotching him. Right hand from Angle, head to the buckle, right,
right, vertical suplex. Angle floats over for 2. Angle whips Test into
the ropes and hits a back elbow. Lawler sucking up to Stephanie, and
Stephanie actually calling him on it. Wow. Into the corner hard, into
the opposite corner hard, Russian legsweep. Test blocks a punch and
throws an elbow. Repeat. Lariat from Test. Off the ropes, reversed,
Test with a pumphandle into a slam - for 2. Into the ropes, head down,
kick from Angle. Test ducks a clothesline, full nelson, into a slam.
Head to the buckle. Test with the Ten Punch Count Along. "He's
cheating!" Stephanie gets off headset and tells the timekeeper to ring
the bell (DQ 2:53) for the blatant use of a closed fist. Angle celebrates
with vigor while Test leaves the ring...and approaches Stephanie.
Stephanie backing up...showing off the ring by way of demonstrating the
illegal closed fist. As they near the top of the ramp, we see the OUTLAWS
and X-PAC running up the ramp from behind and putting on a beatdown.
TREBLE H is also out...and there's a right to the oft-injured nose of
Test. Stephanie helpfully pours some water on it for him. And we're to
the ads.
And now, the WWF Slam of the Week - presented by the WWF Slam Cam! From
RAW, Jeff Hardy misses a sentonbomb from the top of the cage - owch.
"During the Break" footage showed the EMT's and Patterson & Brisco tending
to Test's nose. Lotsa that TV-PG blood there.
Now back to semireal-time, Stephanie approaches the stretcher and asks the
Stooges what the hell they're doing. Hunter says they've just earned a
match with the Outlaws - but because he's a nice guy, he'll make it a
title match. And if they DON'T do it, they're fired.
1-800-COLLECT presents the Rumble Royale!
JEFF HARDY (with Terri) v. MATT HARDY (with Terri) - those sneaky
Helmsleys have booked this match, we learn. Lockup, Matt with a takedown,
head scissors, break. Lockup, dueling arm wringers, Jeff to the mat, nips
up, reversal, to the hammerlock, reversal, takedown, Matt with a back body
drop as they're back up - sleeper, Jeff turns it into a slam. Armwringer
by Jeff, test of strength, Jeff takes him down with a hairpull. Referee
"Blind" Mike Chioda admonishes both men while Terri shows concern as well.
Tempers heating up? To the corner, Matt with a shot. Jeff takes off his
shirt, so does Matt. War of words, Terri in the ring to see if she can
stop it, both men push her aside! Matt punching away, Jeff returning
fire. Back and forth - Matt with a boot, off the ropes, duck, waistlock
shrugged off, Jeff dropkicks Matt in the back and he flies to the outside.
Jeff slides under - Matt charges, Jeff puts him up - handstand on the
apron, bouncing off with a DDT on the floor! Back in the ring for both
men. Cover - 2 count for Matt. Rear chinlock for Matt - Jeff elbowing
out, off the ropes, 'rana, 2, reversal, 2, reversal, 2, back elbow by
Matt, fistdrop, 2 count. Into the corner, reversed, up and over the
ropes, hairpull takedown, Jeff springs in and off the ropes with a
split-legged moonsault that finds only the mat. Matt on the outside, Jeff
dropkicks between the ropes, then runs the ropes and flies out with a tope
that DOES find the mark. Both men back in, cover, 2. Sat up on the top
rope is Matt, Jeff going for the Frankensteiner, but Matt hits a front
superplex instead for 2. Matt putting JEFF on the top turnbuckle. Jeff
pushes him off and hits the sentonbomb! But he only gets 2. Matt blocks
a suplex, Jeff scotts out, Matt kicking at the knee - suplex attempt
thwarted again, Russian legsweep. Jeff to the top rope - firebird? No,
he lands on his feet - but clutches his knee. Matt puts on a sleeper -
then drives him to the mat. 1, 2, 3. (5:23) Here's a replay of the
not-really-injury, followed by the finisher and the pinfall. Everybody
hugs afterward - aww.
Tori busts in on the Helmsleys and complains about the pudding match - as
well as the spontaneous Triple Threat match for Kane. To me, Tori, the
"epitome of humiliation" is walking around in THAT outfit! She demands NO
MORE HUMILIATION. Stephanie decides to book Tori in a match
with...Stephanie. Hunter asks what the hell's up with THAT and it's ad
break time once again...
The Mean Street Posse, who really should know better, say that they
learned their lesson Monday with the Acolytes - they wish Stephanie well
in her match, then say if there's anything they can do...Stephanie says
you know, there just might be something....
TORI v. STEPHANIE McMAHON-HELMSLEY (with Treble H) - We notice Kane
watching on a monitor in the back. Stephanie carries THE STICK! Triple H
parts the ropes for his bride, awww. "Hold on, wait just a minute. The
reason why I made this match is so that I could humiliate you..and put
you..." we look backstage to see the Mean Street Posse working over Kane.
"That looks like it hurts!" Hey, that Coke machine can't be PRODUCT
PLACEMENT - those guys LEFT, right? Tori is ready to go backstage to (ha)
help - but Stephanie says it's time to introduce her REAL opponent...
TORI v. X-PAC - Tori tries to sneak out of the ring, but Stephanie puts
her back in, giving her a vicious wedgie in the process. X-Pac with the
crtoch chops, Tori with the spit. X-Pac pushes her into the corner.
Stephanie up on the ramp to distract referee "Blind" Jim Korderas while
Triple H holds the hair so X-Pac can hit his broncobuster. X-Factor! At
least it was short! (:43) Let's take an ad break!
...are watching UPN!
"During the Break" footage shows Kane picking up Tori and carrying her
back...
"Semi-live" footage shows Kane still carrying her out - she'll catch a
frightful chill in THAT outfit!
Meanwhile, the Mean Street Posse is back looking for kudos, but Hunter
says they did a HORRIBLE job - Kane's still walking and they made it out
alive. So tonight, they'll get a rematch with the Acolytes.
Meanwhile, Al Snow is talking to some unseen folks behind a door marked
"DX." "Don't you worry, I'm gonna have that worthless suck-up Mankind
back here in just a few minutes - you guys keep your end of the bargain,
I'll keep mine. Hey, you have no idea how much I appreciate this. Thanks
again."
Tonight, SmackDown! is brought to you by Arizona Jeans, Western Union
Money Transfer, and (Cole:) "and by WWF Slam Cam, brought to you by WWF
Slam Cam - put yourself in the action with the WWF Slam Cam!" HUH?!?
MANKIND v. AL SNOW (with TV-PG-DLV) a NHB match - Mankind doing that
Tomahawk chop thing on his way to the ring - hey, he IS a suckup!
Tonight, the Rock and the Big Show - stick around. I notice that Al's
forehead is free of writing - which I missed Monday, I am told. Snow
brandishes a baseball bat, but the first shot misses so Mankind goes to
twork with punches, face rakes, and headbutts. Kick, right, off the
ropes, back elbow. Snow has the bat again - bat to the gut. There's one
to the side of the head and Mankind's outside. Snow making the
"anti-Florda State" hand signal, I'm guessing - or he's a Sharks fan. Bat
- BROKEN on the post when Mankind ducks! Mankind with a shot, another
right, Snow with a kick and a punch. Back and forth we go. Snow taken to
the commentary table. Cole's chair appropriated and run into Snow's head.
Chair to the back! Mankind choking - Referee "Blind" Teddy Long construes
this as a pin attempt and tries it - only 2. Snow with a choke, Mankind
chokes back. Now away from the commentary table and Snow hits the STEEL
steps. He goes under the ring and emerges with a cookie sheet - to the
head! Stomp from Snow. Snow under the ring again for more weaponry.
Trashcan lid - whack! Whack! Whack! Snow with that hand signal again.
Right hand. In the ring (?) and Snow's got a dog leash for the choke.
Right hand. Snow with a sign - but Mankind ducks it. Gutshot - double
underhook DDT onto the sign! Mankind motioning that it's time for the
sock...but Snow decides to go outside rather than face the Sock. Mankind
follows, Snow hits a gutshot and there's a suplex on the STEEL ramp.
Cover - nope, head to the ramp. Head to the ramp again. Snow puts
Mankind back in the ring again (?) and sets him up in the corner. He's
got his bowling shirt out! And the bowling ball! But Mankind has TONGS!
That's a version of the testicular claw. Mankind also puts on a ten punch
count along while that's on. Mankind ready for the running knee - but he
spies the bowling ball and has a better idea. IT'S A STRIKE! Mankind
ready - there's a clothesline that takes Snow over the top rope to the
floor. Mankind follows up the ramp with the garbage can lid - whack!
Whack! Snow manges an eyepoke and now they're down the stairs of the
stage. Snow with a right, right, right, head to a barricade, right, head
to the concrete wall and now they're behind the curtain. Snow still
laying in with punches. Mankind punches back and now HE'S got Snow.
They're down the hall and into a steel grating. Snow fires back and now
they're further down this hall. As they pass by a door with "DX" on it,
Snow makes a secret knock...I think. The cameraman goes down and we miss
them entering the dressing room. But we hear some whacking going on. But
it's SNOW that flies out of the dressing room! Mankind crawls over and
covers - 1, 2, 3. (8:01) All becomes revealed when we look back at the
door and see the Rock...wielding a hair. He pulls the DX off the door to
reveal "THE ROCK." Ummm....so was Al talking to a different door or what?
I'm confused. Oh well.
Patterson & Brisco have a heart-to-heart - Brisco's convinced they can win
the belts, and Patterson's convinced that Brisco's nuts. Hell, maybe
they're BOTH right. Patterson's wearing a "suck up to Florida St." shirt,
I must add.
"WWF SmackDown! is sports entertainment performed by trained
professionals. Don't drink Coke."
Let Us Take You Back to Armageddon where Stephanie did the Devious Turn.
Let's Now Take You Back to Earlier Today where the Helmsleys addressed the
entire company. Always nice to see Kaientai on my TV.
EDGE (you think?) v. CHRISTIAN - setup for this match is the same as the
Hardy/Hardy bout. Edge's entrance is interrupted by a glow of orange and
a single word - "survive" - taking over the arena for a brief moment.
Before this match starts, the Outlaws take a couple seats with the
Helmsleys. No wait, Stephanie wants some fresh air - so the Outlaws are
left alone with all the grapes and cheese they can eat. Lockup, reversal
into an arm wringer, reversal into an arm wringer, backed into the ropes,
Christian with a back elbow, Edge fights off a whip attempt and grabs
Christian, shrugged off, Foot up, caught, spun around into...no, Edge
slides out. Counters to counters and I'm dizzy. Lockup, knee from Edge,
side headlock, to the ropes, powered out, leapfrog, spinning heel kick
from Edge and Christian goes outside. Baseball slide dropkick misses and
Christian puts Edge into the apron, then goes inside, springs onto the
second turnbuckle and flies to the floor with a plancha (or a clothesline
- I missed it). Back in the ring we go, snap suplex from Christian,
holding on and there's a front suplex. 1, 2, nope. Into the ropes,
reversed, up and over, trying again for the slop drop, but Edge hits a
Northern Lights suplex and bridges for 2. Gutshot, bring him up,
Christianup and over, gutshot, third time's a charm for the Slop Drop
attempt - but only 2. Out of the corner, into the opposite corner, boot
up by Edge, powerbomb position, but Christian goes up and over and rolls
up Edge for 2. Edge counters for 2 of his own. Into the ropes, reversed,
Tigerbomb by Edge for 2. Edge poised for the spear - but Christian is
ready and hits a drop toehold into the turnbuckle. Christian ready to try
the Tomokaze, but Edge pushes HIM into the corner. Edge ready to scale
the turnbuckles, having gone over the ropes, but Christian turns around
and punches him. Now on the second rope - superplex attempt is shrugged
off and Christian hits hard. Plancha! Christian rolls it over and gets
2! Wild swing ducked, to the ropes, Edge shrugged off, Christian tries a
body scissors, Edge drops down 1, 2, and bridges back - 1, bell rings...
Huh? (3:54) Well, apparently Christian's shoulders were down for BOTH
pin attempts. That was actually pretty nifty - even if Christian's
shoulders were actually UP on the first count (as the replay shows).
Blame it on the rookie ref "Blind" Chad Patten.
Backstage, the Acolytes are attempting to beat a hasty retreat, but
fortunately the Helmsleys are getting some fresh air. Hunter sends them
back with the directive that they must participate or be fired. Then he
calls Pete a "buckethead." I don't know what that means, but it sure is
The Lugz boot of the week is Bradshaws chair shot on Pete "Gas" from RAW
on Monday. No real BOOTS there, but hey - a wicked chairshot!
ACOLYTES v. MEAN STREET POSSE in an "Acolytes Rules" match - Faarooq
suddenly remembering he's a Seminole and doing that chop all over the
place. Posing on all four corners! All three men rush the ring for all
the good it'll do them. Pete quickly taken out, Joey quickly taken out,
Rodney quickly given a spinebuster so Faarooq can get the pinfall in his
"home territory." (:26) For an encore, Joey Abs and Pete "Gas" come back
in so Faarooq can go apeshit on THEM too. TOMAHAWK CHOP! TOMAHAWK CHOP!
FAAROOQ IS THE MAN, SO HIT YOUR KNEES AND START PRAYIN'! This crowd is
AWESOME. I'm just grinning all over the place here. Even if ECW *did*
kinda ruin it for me, though - I can't hear that war cry without thinking
"Yooouuuuu really suck....yooooooouuuu really suck...." even though he
doesn't suck all THAT much. In fact, he's one of my favourites these
days. The carnage STILL isn't over. Pete "Gas" tastes a double
spinebuster and Joey Abs feels a double powerbomb. Faarooq chopping all
over the place. Even Bradshaw puts one out there. "Hey, lookitme! I'M
from FSU too! Yeah!"
LILIAN GARCIA interview LARRY KING, who thinks that Stephanie and Triple
H's actions are "reprehensable," "sad," and "embarrassing." Garcia asks
for one word to describe Stephanie. "Well, I'd - I hate to say it, but
she's acting like a little - she's a little - let me say this, Lilian - it
rhymes with 'witch' and it start with a B."
When we come back, Triple H and Stephanie chew out Jim Ross for his
comments of the previous segments. Stephanie tries to get Ross to say
"bitch," and when he fails to comply, she SMACKS him one. Even his hat
fell off!
TOO COOL & RIKISHI PHATU v. HOLLYS & VISSSSSSCERA - Your hosts, MICHAEL
KING COLE & JERRY LAWLER, try once again to demonstrate the WWFWIRED.com
Stone Cold Steve Austin doll, and have a touch more success than they did
Monday. This match was set up from Armageddon's super heavyweight tag
team match when Vis hit Rikishi with the (quite possibly not accidental)
Alleged Spinning Heel Kick, allowing the Hollys to score the pinfall. The
Hollys somehow convince Viscera that they'd all be better off if Crash
started against Grandmaster Sexay. Christopher dances, then strikes then
Crash actus confused to his corner. It's all Grandmaster, shoulderblock,
'rana countered witha face plant, stomping away, snapmare out of the
corner, goggles secured, missigle dropkick from the second rope, off the
ropes but the elbowdrop misses. Tag to Crash. Drop toehold by
Christopher, arm wringe, tag to Rikishi. Straight right, right, off the
ropes, Holly up and over, duck, superkick! Rikishi drags him to the
centre and tags in Scotty 2 Hotty. He's doing the airplane! Now the
centipede! Karate chop! Holly in the corner, right, right, out of the
corner to the opposite corner, Holly ducks a charge but Scotty makes a
wish and Holly's jewels hit the post. Top rope - Holly catches him into a
powerslam. Vertical suplex by Holly is Bulldog-esque in it's half
hour-ness. Tag to Viscera. Taylor sneaks between his legs, gets in a
couple shots, but is taken down with one shove. Clothesline is ducked,
elbow is ducked, Samoan drop - is not. Viscera says "I'm da king!!!"
Well, actually he said something else. Double choke by Viscera - slammed
to the mat. Tag to Hardcore, who chops away. Atomic drop. Clotheslines
him out of hit boots. Cover - 1, 2, nope. Scoop - and a slam. Hardcore
on the top rope - but Taylor puts up a boot. Reaching for the tag...HOT
TAG TO RIKISHI! HOUSE ON FIRE! Both Hollys go down. Now all six men in
- yes, Katie, bar that door, it IS a Pier Six brawl. Crash tastes the
STEEL steps at the hands of the Grandmaster while Rikishi is busy dealing
with Hardcore. Viscera tosses Scotty and comes over to Rikishi. Whip
into the opposite corner is reversed. Charge - ass finds the mark!
Clothesline to Hardcore for good measure. Before he can apply the
piledriver, Viscera is again back up and attacking from behind. Pounding
away on Rikishi, now Hardcore joining him. But Viscera's splash finds
Hardcore! Rikishi with a superkick that takes Viscera to the outside!
Viscera makes the "nuts to this" hand motion and walks back up the ramp as
Rikishi sets up Hardcore for the Banzai Drop. 1, 2, 3. (6:08) Now is
the time on Sprockets when we dance! Just for fun, the entire audience is
led in "American Males" synchronous applause. What do Rikishi Phatu and
George Michael have in common?
New Age Outlaws discuss that the Stooges - they can't take 'em lightly, so
they better just beat 'em within an inch of their lives. "Wait'll they
find out it's a No-DQ match!"
WWF: The Music (Volume 4) ad
TitanTron Live ad
Terri apparently has to tell Santa about all the naughty things she did in
the past year. She starts with a lesbain fantasy that occurred on Boxing
Day last...well, maybe I'm just imagining some of that
PAT PATTERSON & GERALD BRISCO v. NEW AGE OUTLAWS for the tag team
championship in a "no disqualification" bout - Stooges come out to "Real
American" and I'm OFFENDED! OUTRAGED! Eh. Brisco busts out some powder
to surprise the Outlaws. Gunn and Brisco go at it while Patterson goes
into his pants for a variety of weapons (I won't, I won't, I won't)
including a chain (no!) and the next thing you know, Patterson's got the
Boston crab on Dogg while Brisco has the figure four on Gunn! Crowd
actually getting excited here. Dogg powers out of the hold, then goes over
to kick Brisco out of putting on HIS hold. Now it's the Outlaws turn - or
is it? Whip is reversed. Dogg sidesteps a charge, and Patterson hits the
post on his way to the floor. Dogg produces some brass knux and punches
hard. In the ring, meanwhile, Gunn is kicking away on Brisco, but there's
a TEXTBOOK fireman's carry takeover by Brisco. But Dogg's still there.
Pumphandle - Gunn hits a Fame'Asser and that's it for Brisco. 1, 2, 3.
(2:00) You know, for what it was...bring on Zbyszko and Anderson!
Split-screen shot shows both Rock and Big Show - pacing - well - really -
WALKING!
One More WWF Slam Cam ad
Western Union Money Transfer proudly presents the Smack of the Night!
Tonight, it's the SMACK of Stephanie's hand across J.R.'s jaw.
LA ROCA v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW for the WWF Championship - get this, the
challenger enters first! You GOTTA love that. No mic time for the Rock?
You gotta love THAT! Pyro for the Big Show? You gotta...well, actually,
I'm kinda ambivalent about that. Before the match starts, we do some
mental addition and figure we need one more time to hear "My Time" tonight
- and out walk the HELMSLEYS. "I don't recall if I informed you guys, so
I'll come out here and do it now - this title match [pause for "asshole"
chant] THIS title match just happens to be a ... lumberjack match." The
Helmsleys set up in a conveniently placed recliner while we notice X-PAC,
the NEW AGE OUTLAWS, the DUDLEY BOYZ, the MEAN STREET POSSE (guess they
made up), PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN, VISSSSSSCERA, MIDE-I-E-I-ON, AL SNOW,
the HOLLYS, KURT ANGLE and GANGREL. Yow! Steph's showing some LEG!
Still no contact from the two men in the ring. Okay, here we go. Show
blocks a puncha dn puts on one of his own. Stomping away...in the corner,
Rock trades places and lays some smack down. Whip out fails to work on
the 500 pounder. Back in the corner goes Rock. Show with blows. Off the
ropes - superkick! Headbutt. Scoop - on the shoulder - Rock gets off it
and hits a Russian legsweep for 2. Show nips up! (With a rope
assist...oh well) Show with a dropkick and Rocky rolls outside - where a
gaggle of heels gets in quite a few licks before putting Rocky back in the
ring. Rock ducks a clothesline and delivers two rights. Whip is
reversed, Show charges and Rock pulls the top rope. When Show lands on
the outside, now there's a beatdown of the champion. Back in the ring,
Rock kicking away. Right. Off the ropes, reversed, Rock off the other
rope, DDT, cover, 1, 2, X-Pac on the apron and Rock over to hit him. One
for Mr. Ass, one for Road Dogg. Rock Bottom on Big Show! 1, 2, Mr. Ass
breaks up the pin, pushes Rock to the outside and now everybody's on the
Rock. Show motioning for it - yes! ahhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAAM. 1, 2, DX
pulls him outside. Everybody on him, then rolled back in. Rock with a
right, right, off the ropes, clothesline, clothesline, he won't go down,
another clothesline finds the mark. Rock clotheslines him outside the
ring and follows - now the lumberjacks are on BOTH men. Finally, MANKIND
appears wheeling a shopping cart full of weapons. TRASHCAN TO -
EVERYBODY!! Cookie sheet! Thank GOD that only Big Show and Rock are
smart enough to use weapons - the lumberjacks leave them lying there and
are quite happy to use the "black ninja" style of attacking - that is, one
at a time, wait your turn to go down, thank you, drive through. Mideon is
the designated recipient of ahhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAAAAM while Viscera draws
the Rock Bottom/People's Elbow combo. Play the Rock's music! SEE YA!
(No contest 6:42?)
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net